>> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, marlon wayans. i know you are asking yourself, how the [bleep] did i become the host? well, they spun the wheel with all the wayans name on it and it landed on me. [cheers and applause] that's right. as you know, my entire family is in the business. we're like the trumps, except my

dad doesn't want to [bleep] my sister. [cheers and applause] [laughs] all right, let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] it was a great weekend for comedy specials. i know my brother chris rock had his thing. and i also had a new special come out. [cheers and applause] "god loves me," available right now on hbomax! brothas, you can't bootleg streaming. but you can share passwords! ha! but let's be real, the funniest comedy special last weekend was the cpac! or as i like to call it, crazy white people. if you don't know about it, it's an annual event where the an annual event where the karens

and their husbands come together to complain about the rest of us. the karens and the darrens. and we watched it, so you don't have to. >> the biden administration sucks. >> this can never be said at a democratic gathering. look at all the beautiful women here. >> wokeness is a virus more dangerous than any pandemic hands down. >> we will support baby boomers. and we will support baby bonuses for a new baby boom, how does that sound? that sounds pretty -- i want a baby boom. to use a strong couple of words, insane asylum. insane asylum. insane asylum. did anyone see "silence of the lambs"? that's where they come from. >> check under your seats. if there happens to be a gold chocolate bar underneath there, that's a vip -- oh, i'm not joking. that's a vip ticket to my father's reception tomorrow at cpac.

[audience reacts] >> marlon: what the [bleep] is with his fingers? why does he have hotdog fingers from "everything everywhere all at once." [laughs] [applause] it looks like ten dicks playing piano. i like how donald junior is always like, "democrats are pedophiles. anyway, if you come with me, i'll give you chocolate! shh!" you know what, i would like to invite everyone to look under your seats. go ahead, look under your seats. does anyone see my airpods? i've been looking all over for them. i hate those little tricky white bitches. the worst part about that stunt is that trump was just leaving chocolate bars on the floor. you know who is going to find that? a rat.

a rat is gonna show up and be like, "where's donald? i got ideas! [bleep] border wall. we need a border maze. if they get past that, man, sticky pads, bitch!" [cheers and applause] but it wasn't just don jr. all of these people were wildin'! some of those guys were throwing shots, too! it went from c-pac to tupac real quick. they were like "first off, [bleep] that gender identity you claim." and some of that shit made no sense. like, nikki haley said wokeness is more dangerous than any pandemic. i never had to miss two weeks of work because of wokeness.

and i am sure herman cain didn't die because he walked into a gender-neutral bathroom. now let's move on to sports. we all know the nba stopped calling players for carrying a long time ago, but apparently you can still get in trouble for carrying a gun. >> memphis grizzlies standout point guard ja morant is facing scrutiny after appearing to flash a gun in a video shared on instagram live. >> the grizzlies announcing the all-star will be sitting out at least two games as the nba conducts an investigation of what he did live on instagram, seen here showing off a gun at a nightclub hours after his team lost friday night. morant has since apologized saying in a statement, "i'm going to take some time away to get help and work on learning better methods of dealing with stress and my overall well-being." >> marlon: i am sorry about

that [bleep] doesn't look stressed at all. [laughs] look at all the stress on his face. i've never seen somebody so stressed. [bleep], this is stressed. how was that even an explanation? "i pulled a gun out because i was dressed?" so is that an emotional support gun? like, who grabs a gun because you're stressed? [bleep], you never heard of chamomile? i'm just saying, i think mental health issues have been too de-stigmatized. even guys trying to act gangster are like, "yo, i'ma let you off because my therapist says this is misplaced anger. i need to go home and unpack this shift. shit. [cheers and applause] but also, what the [bleep] is up with the tiny gun?

it's so tiny. that looks like the gun that a sexy russian lady pulls out in a bond movie. he went to the gun store and asked for a pussy galore. i've never seen a man pull out a gun and be less threatening. how do you hold it like this? the gangs in "west side story" were more threatening, and they were singing show tunes! and finally, let's move on to a lighter subject: slavery. most people now agree that slavery was wrong, but apparently, california is the only one that feels bad about it. >> california will soon decide whether or not to give reparations to its black citizens. right now, the california task force is meeting in sacramento to assess how much each citizen might receive. one consideration is roughly

$360,000 per eligible resident. >> the task force is still working to determine what it believes reparations should involve, which could include cash payments, grants, and tuition assistance. >> there's only one thing that would stop our children from busting into these liquor stores and grocery stores, stealing junk food and stealing different things, and that's reparations. there's only one thing that would stop our kids from busting into these jewelry stores, stealing watches and jewelry, and that's reparations. >> marlon: i agree with the monopoly man! [cheers and applause] we need to let black people pass go and collect $200! it's time for some free parking, damn it! [applause] i just love how he was getting

more threatening as he was talking. "we need reparations otherwise we are going to rob liquor stores and jewelry, bitch. i stole this [bleep] watch!" [laughs] you can see the black folk behind him like, "was this the best guy we could get to represent us? he looked so sophisticated with a little hat on. and you seen the watch? it was nice until i found out he stole it." [laughs] i don't know where they are getting the money from my but i know where they should get it from, fruit of the loom. they are always saying that shit is 100% cotton. pay up, bitch. [cheers and applause] and they said every black person is going to get $360,000. what if you are mixed?

you only get half? zendaya is only good for 180k? so what does chet hanks get? that's got to be worth at least 25 grand. for more on these california reparations, we go to roy wood, jr. [cheers and applause] >> yes, sir. hi. >> hey, hold me, what's cracking? good to see you, what's up? >> marlon: why are you talking like that? >> this is how we talk out here in cali, in the bay westside, franklin, surf's up, and the matter of fact, let me put on my authentic cali hat.

i am just like the homies. >> marlon: roy, stop it. you are from alabama. stop talking like that. you sound like chet hanks. >> play along. black people from all over are going to start claiming california. i have to get mine first. this is the black gold rush. trying to get paid. >> maron: i will say, i'm surprised that of all the states, it's california that's proposing reparations. >> definitely, it is a big surprise. you got to give props to california, my home state, for doing this. they did it before alabama, georgia, south carolina, and california was a free state. most of the slaves were just people playing slaves in movies. >> you mean djimon honsou? >> his name ain't

amistad! it's always black history month. speed when you think 360 grand can take you far. it may take you far and alabama but not l.a. that is going to dry up real quick after rent, gas, and cocaine. >> true, you write. how about this? instead of splitting up the reparation money, you know, amongst all the black folks, enter every black person into a reparations lottery, and one person gets all the money. like, it is like powerball but for slavery. >> marlon: you are onto something, i like that. black powerball. >> yes, exactly. >> marlon: but a lottery, man, that is a dumb idea for reparation. >> you think it's dumb, you think a lottery with a bunch of black people, you think that is done? you of all people should support the lottery, marlon. statistically speaking, the odds are that the winner is going to be a wayans.

it's like, 73 wayans. >> marlon: you know what, now that you put it like that, i like this lottery idea. but aren't you going to be mad if someone else gets all that money? >> no, i'm not tripping if another black person gets the money. whoever wins the black lottery, i will borrow the money from him because he is my cousin. >> marlon: . you don't know who it is. >> it don't matter, once they win the money come he's going to be my cousin. speaking of which, is it too late to become a wayans? >> marlon: [laughs] all right, roy wayans jr.! >> i am a wayans! give it up! [cheers and applause] >> i am a wayans! >> marlon: all right, when we come back, we'll look back at all my critically acclaimed movies. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] get ready for "champions". can woody harrelson take this team all the way?

sounded like you guys were having fun. this doesn't feel right. [ retching ] yeah, other than that. pretty fun. it's the most winning comedy of the season. [ cheering ] champions! ♪ yo, i'll tell you what i want, ♪ ♪ what i really, really want ♪ ♪ so tell me what you want, ♪ ♪ what you really, really want ♪ ♪ i wanna, i wanna, i wanna, i wanna ♪ ♪ i wanna, really, really, really wanna zigazig ah ♪ applebee's! get a dozen shrimp for $1 with any steak! now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. ♪♪ they ordered pineapple. you gotta smell the butt to know if it's ripe. ♪♪ (thwok!) hear that noise? means it's ripe! freshest cream always in the back. 'cause cream rules everything around? all right chefs, we gotta go get the beans! i think they asked for baked, bro. jellybeans?? chef, they definitely said pinto beans! no! actually, they want fava beans. you are so good at this. we get groceries. doordash.

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[cheers and applause] >> marlon: welcome back to "the daily show." the oscars are this weekend, so to celebrate, i thought i'd take a look back at one my favorite actors, and some of his greatest roles. ♪ ♪ >> hello. i am marlon wayans. america's greatest actor. and today, i will be looking back at some of my most iconic

roles and the preparation i took to immerse myself in character. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] what drew me to "white chicks" was its mythological roots, which i thought were almost homeric in scope. let's take a look. >> everything all right in there? >> marlon: in preparation for this show, i mentally drew from act i, scene four of "macbeth." i also took so many laxatives that i saw my life floating in front of me and i tried to stab it is still in the "white chicks" snyder cut. acting requires an almost machiavellian rawness. to be naked in front of one's audience. that is why, and over 90% of my movies, i am literally ass

naked. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] it is part of the stanislavski method. he is my schizophrenic neighbor. he is always. the result was an amazing feel that the oscar voters described as not submitted. i knew i like to call myself an actor. i am a thespian. and in this film, i really thes'd out. >> i knew it, i knew it. that is just nasty. >> what the hell? >> marlon: i also took on one of my toughest acting challenges. playing a black redhead. or, as i so improvised in the

movie, a. providing blackness and red headedness, that is a tough one. the only people to do it successfully were harry and meghan. that is. that is funny, people often compare me to marlon brando, mostly because my name is marlon. but marlon brando, respectfully, could have never played christian and "50 shades of black." mostly, because he is not black. and he is dead. christian black, he is a very textured and complicated character, and he spoke to me for a number of reasons. primarily, the fact that... [cheers and applause]d.-

obviously, this was one of my hardest roles, especially because he already smokes marijuana, something that i have no experience with. but the director encouraged me to try some. but i resisted. i will not partake in the devil's lettuce. "requiem for a dream," oh, yeah, i smoked crack for that. i smoked a lot of crack. i love that shit. i did tons and tons and tons of crack. for this movie, i also smoked a ton of crack. i don't know why. it wasn't part of the plot at all. [laughs] [laughter] >> this one is real. >> marlon: but at first i turned this world not because i didn't feel like it was the right fit. within the studio back to a dump truck full of cash up to my house, and i realize, i was...

the right fit. "little man" is of course a remake of the 1957 swedish strategy. during the filming, i drink nothing but breast milk. still do. it can be intimidating to bare your soul in front of your audience, but that is their sacred duty of a thespian. how are you doing? we did, i think, 38 takes of that scene over four grueling days. ♪ ♪ [laughs] true story. at the wrap party, i had a threesome with that teddy bear and jeff goldblum.

benefit to fame. and there you have it. i am marlon wayans, a national treasure, and those were some of my most iconic roles. i wanted to share it with you guys. you know what i could really go for right now? some crack. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: what a national treasure he is. what an artist. all right, stay tuned because when we come back, mason gooding will be joining me today. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america. [cheers and applause] >> marlon: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is one of the stars of the "scream" movie franchise. he is reprising his role as chad and "scream vi." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: please welcome mason gooding! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ how are you doing, mason?

[cheers and applause] oh, my goodness. i am jealous. you are buff. >> oh, stop it, it's the steroids. >> marlon: hook me up with your dealer. [laughter] when did you steal deadpool's body? >> that is hilarious. >> marlon: like you are about to fight the rock. >> it's funny, but i was a kid, i was a big fan of oreos at night time so i gained a lot of weight pretty quickly and my mom and dad were like, listen, if you want, we can hook you up with something that will keep you able to defend yourself they are car so i took up boxing. >> marlon: i thought they were placed your oreos with steroids. [laughter] >> it was a fast track to put some steroids in his lucky charms. [laughter] >> marlon: congrats, man. >> thanks. >> marlon: i've heard great things about your movie, headed for a record opening, the whole franchise. [cheers and applause] get money!

[cheers and applause] so can you tell me anything about the movie? you know, anything that happens, any spoilers? anything that i could possibly put in "scary movie 6? [cheers and applause] [laughter] >> well, if that was the goal, i need to hook you up. [laughter] i can tell you a takes place in the good city of new york. [cheers and applause] we are out of college, so we are a little bit older, little bit wiser, hopefully, we are trying to put what happened in the past and the fifth movie. the six movie is trying to up the ante, make it more violent, more scary, ideally, and then i think i am shirtless. [cheers and applause] >> marlon: see how he just threw that in? >> take my [bleep] out for a scene or two. >> marlon: it is good to see you because i knew your father. for that is so crazy, like, i have known cuba so long.

cuba gooding, jr., amazing academy award-winning actor. [applause] i always said, you know, he is the only black guy that i know that gets white guy wasted. when cuba drinks, you just here [screaming] he pulls them out, he's like, what is going on question rick what he is so fun. actually, we were at an oscar party and i walked up to him, he is so funny, i walk up to him, i go, hey, what's up? he has a book and a chicken, just put it on the top of his eye. i think i got a picture of it. [laughter] [cheers and applause] that is at an oscar party! >> that his dad! >> marlon: that is dad! [laughter] >> just take it in stride. if i tried to keep up with him and his persona, i would fail absolutely. [laughter] i am the opposite end, i read

books on friday nights, i cuddle with my dog. [laughter] i leave him to his own devices. >> marlon: good luck with this command. make that money. [cheers and applause] "scream vi" will be in theaters march 10th! okay. we are going to take a break. we will be right back after this! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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>> marlon: that's our show for tonight. now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> are we ready to take on the left? are we ready to say the fake media stinks? all right. we got at. we got our calling orders here. >> actually, i don't say they sting but we will leave it right there. [laughter]

- ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ kyle and stan: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - [muffled singing] - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪