the secret underground base. - all right guys, focus. looks like this is gonna be an underwater level. - don't forget to bring a towel. [laughter] - you're the worst character ever, towelie. i know. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm kal penn. and i have had so much fun! i wish i could stay forever. honestly, like, now i understand why trump refused to leave the white house. what do you think? should we do an insurrection? just say forever? [cheers and applause] i was joking. you guys are messed up. i love it! all right, we've got a great show for you tonight. chasten buttigieg is here, everyone! we have a lot to talk about. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with some breaking news from the vatican. no, not about you. you are still going to hell. but there is some good news for priests. >> pope francis says the catholic church's thousand year-old practice of celibacy for priests could be changed. he tells an argentine publication the ban on priests

having sex was only temporary and that there is no contradiction for a priest to marry. >> kal: that's right, yeah, pope francis just stepped out on his balcony and said, "i am proud to announce the end of our no-nut millennium. we did it!" [cheers and applause] oh, gosh. and then a cloud of white shot out of the vatican chimney. anyway, this is wild. the pope suddenly decided that a thousand-year-old ban on sex was just "temporary" the whole time? does anyone else feel like the pope just found out giselle was single? "she dumped tom brady? uh, look, everybody, i just found a new page in the bible. yeah, two pages in leviticus were stuck together this whole time." i got to say, i think priests are gonna clean up on the dating apps. "you ever heard of missionary?

i invented that." this could really be a game changer. think about it. now that priests can knock someone up, it means they might change their mind on abortion. "you are pregnant! look at this! two more pages stuck together, my goodness!" [applause] thank you. moving on. we've got some inspiring news out of nebraska. yeah, how often do we get to say that? like in a lot of places, republicans are pushing an anti-trans bill through the state legislature. but this time, an incredible state senator is speaking out. and speaking. and speaking. and speaking. >> a democratic lawmaker taking a stand against what she says is attacks on fundamental human rights. this is out of nebraska where a republican bill is trying to ban what they call "gender-affirming care" to people who are under 19 years old. now this democratic state senator is halting all business

in the chamber and filibustering or vowing a kind of obstruction set of tactics that worked in nebraska for the last three weeks, saying she'll burn the session to the ground over this bill. >> during her filibuster, she has discussed everything from her favorite girl scout cookies, to the plot of the movie, "madagascar." >> if this legislature collectively decides that legislating hate against children is our priority, then i am going to make it painful, painful for everyone. [cheers and applause] >> kal: hell yeah! at a time when so many people are all talk, she's actually -- well, okay, she's all talk too, but in a useful way! and i'm sure it's hard for senator cavanaugh to come up with stuff to say for three weeks straight, but it means a lot to so many families that someone is fighting for them. and it also means a lot to dreamworks that someone is still talking about "madagascar." it's not their best movie come honestly.

anyway, just today, she finally got republicans to agree to an actual debate on this bill, which they were trying to avoid. this is great if you are into civility. i personally would have just gone nuclear and just been like "kill this bill now or i spoil the end of "the last of us." and finally, spring break is coming up. if you were thinking of going to florida to lie on the beach and not be surrounded by 5,000 miles of seaweed, well... >> florida is bracing for a 5,000 mile-wide seaweed bloom almost twice as wide as the entire united states. >> enormous mounds of brown, mucky, macro algae are now floating towards florida. the popular shores of south beach are only spectacled with this kind of seaweed, called sargassum, so far, but in several weeks, that's likely to change. with sightings already this month in key west, antigua, and the crowded mexican resort, preparing for up to three feet

of buildup. the biggest issue with the seaweed, a serious rotten egg smell. not ideal for tourism. >> kal: holy shit that is a lot of seaweed. it sounds like a plague god sends when he's mad, but, like coming off that man. like, "i am not hurricane angry. i am just disappointed." and if i had to guess about what god's mad about, it is probably that ron desantis eats pudding with three fingers. look, i am not a florida parent but i would rather let my kid watch her drag queen. "good night moon," then watch a grown man in a suit finger a putpudding cup [cheers and applause] the worst thing about the seaweed is there's nothing florida can do about it. but it is florida, so they will probably just try to shoot it. for more on the seaweed story,

we go live to miami beach with roy wood, jr., everybody! roy, what's the situation over there? [cheers and applause] was going on? >> was gone, man? how you been? >> kal: i am good but what is a situation over there? >> you see the situation, it is disgusting, kal. seaweed everywhere. this speech looks like it is covered in hair. looks like an italian man's back. and it smells like a truck full of hard-boiled eggs crashed into a factory that makes wet farts. it's bad! you ever smelled a wet fart? you think it is a dry fart, some juice coming out. some juice. >> kal: i get it. we have all been there. why are you cleaning up the beach? that is so kind of you. >> what? cleaning? no, man. i'm not cleaning. i'm taking it all home. hey, get your ass back! the ocean vomit vomit is mine!

>> kal: why are you taking home the seaweed? >> why else? i'm gonna sell it to white folks. what us to think i'm i'm going to do? >> kal: roy, white folks aren't gonna buy rotting seaweed. >> no, but they will once i call it "naturally sourced organic oceanic sargassum." >> kal: oh, my god, you're right. white people will buy the shit out of that! >> i know! i'm gonna be printing money! all i got to do is stick it in a classy tin, put a white baby's face on it, it will be in whole foods next week! my working days are over! oh, my grandkids are gonna be so spoiled. i hate them already. >> kal: but what is it used for? do you eat it, or wrap yourself in it? >> man, i don't care! eat it, smoke it, put it in your coffee, rub it on your balls. white people will figure it out. look, i just got to get it all before gwyneth paltrow has the same idea. she will steal it. [applause] >> kal: that is true, yes, yes. you got to hurry, though. she stole turmeric from us.

>> you know the problem, though, man? what is slowing down the cleanup is all the trash. got to pick the trash out of the seaweed. >> kal: why don't you just leave it in? say it's "rich in bio-active upcycled exfoliants." >> bitch, get your ass down here, kal. we're going into business together. >> kal: i'll leave right after the show. >> come on down here! oh, shit, gwyneth paltrow is here. back off, pepper pots! >> kal: hold her off, roy! i'm coming! roy wood, jr., everybody! all right, when we come back, we'll find out what scares politicians the most. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] chipotle's new chicken al pastor is fire on every level. fresh chicken hot off the grill. a rich marinade of seared morita peppers and ground achiote balanced with a splash of pineapple. all combined for the right amount heat.

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[cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome back to "the daily show." there's a lot we don't know about the 2024 election. like who the candidates will be, or which campaign beto o'rourke is going to lose. but as someone who headed up youth issues at the white house, i can tell you that if history is any indicator, we already know what one of the big talking points will be. >> every election, it's like, oh, the young people are coming. the young people are coming. and usually, they don't come. >> they just don't show up. are you hearing me, nieces? >> i was having this conversation tonight. >> they don't. >> someone said -- this convention was not -- they're in their 20s. it was not made for us. we didn't -- i said -- >> that's because you don't

vote. >> you guys don't vote. >> they never, ever vote. >> why would people cater to you if you never come out? >> sorry. not to be annoying, but we're with "nbc news." and i'm just trying to figure out, is anybody here going to vote in the election on november 6th? anybody? anybody? nobody's going to vote? >> what can get younger voters to actually turn out for elections? you know... turn out for what! ♪ ♪ you have a theme song, gadi. >> yeah... >> kal: well, young people aren't gonna be voting now. the point is, the media loves to whine about young people not voting. but what gets much less attention is that the establishment feels so threatened by the power of young voters that they actually try to get you not to vote. too many in the establishment, low youth turnout is not a problem. it's a goal. and that's what i want to talk about in the latest installment of "long story short."

♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's say that a political party wants to suppress the youth vote. what are some things they might try to do? their best bet is to put restrictions on college students because for the most part, they are all young. except for that one guy who used to sit in the back of your sociology lecture -- what was his deal? was that like, an inspiring thing, or, like, a ""21 jump street"" situation? anyway, one thing they tried to do is to target student ids. in some states states, you can't use a school id to vote, even though for many students, it's the only thing showing they live in the state. and don't tell me that they aren't legitimate residents. college students pay local taxes for four years, and the dumb ones up to six. one of those states is texas, where you can't use your student i.d. to vote, but you can use... your gun permit! which sure feels like a law made by republicans to make it easier

for other republicans to vote. it's basically like a liberal state letting you vote if you still wear your covid mask. another thing they tried to do is move voting booths off-campus is. this is a big deal for college students, since they're less likely to have a car. if they do know someone with a car, it's usually that kind of hot but sort of sketch dude with a 2007 subaru that reeks of weed and all the seatbelts are missing, and it's just like, "is voting for state assembly really worth getting car herpes?" when it comes to trying to make polling places inaccessible, the state of texas is also at the forefront. texas republicans are pushing a bill that would ban voting booths from every campus across the state. >> voting rights advocates are slamming at texas lawmakers' plan to remove polling places from college campuses. >> the young voters favored democrats by nearly a 30 point margin in the midterms, but the republican who's behind this proposal tells abc 13's

breonna connor, it is not about that. >> republican state representative carrie isaac says it's a matter of school safety. >> i don't believe it's wise that we invite people onto our campuses that would not otherwise be there. >> texas southern university freshman jordan jones points out that public universities like tsu already have open campuses. >> our library that's literally right there is also public. anybody can go in there and use it. so i feel like there shouldn't be much of a difference whenever it comes to voting. >> kal: she has a good point. the library is already open to the public. although knowing texas republicans, that other lady will just be like, "this student is right. we should also ban libraries." [applause] i realize that so far i've given you republican examples. but to be fair, that doesn't mean all voter suppression is committed by republicans. just like, 98% of it. but there are democrats who do

engage in voter suppression. and i know this from personal experience. during the democratic primary in 2007, i lobbied a local election board in north carolina that wanted to remove voting machines from a campus where there were a lot of obama democrats, and send those machines to a wealthy suburb. and send them to a wealthy suburb where there were a lot of nonobama democrats. well, that's not how they put it. they were like, "we're doing this because college students are less likely to vote than people in the suburbs." so then i was like, "maybe they don't vote because you keep [bleep] taking their voting machines away!" [cheers and applause] and then i lost. sorry. while those are some of the more common obstacles you might have as a young voter, it's not the can get a lot more creative. >> welcome to north carolina a&t.

it's the largest historically black college in the country and a big democratic voting block. but when you look at a congressional map, a&t looks like two separate colleges. it's split between district six and district 13. so if you move from this dorm over to that dorm, you're in a different district with different representatives and a different polling place. >> by splitting the campus into two separate congressional districts, it diluted the power of a&t's collective voice. so what was once one congressional district with an african american representative, it is now two congressional districts with two white republican legislators. >> have you seen people discouraged from voting because of this? >> not only do you get discouragement, there's also not wanting to register at all. >> it validates and affirms what young folks are saying when they say that their votes don't count. >> kal: yeah, that's a bummer. honestly, i haven't seen college student that's disappointed since they saw me in "van wilder 2." in my defense, that movie played

very well. but look, this is the point of it. all of this is meant to freeze you out of the process and discourage you from participating. and i get it, it is easy as a young person to get demoralized and super high. i'm not sure why i mentioned that. to be more clear: things are not hopeless. you know that gerrymandering at a&t? well, it sparked a student revolt. and a year later a court reunified the school, and now those students are voting in record numbers. [cheers and applause] and it's not just them. despite all of those barriers, young voters have shown up big in recent elections. in fact, last year, they may have made all the difference. >> the gen z, millennials, they are now voting in record numbers. >> gen z voters, people born in 1997 and later, are lapping their older millennial counterparts. >> i know a lot of people talk about young people talking about being engaged but not being engaged. we are seeing engagement here.

the energy from these young folks is real. >> they all but canceled out the votes of their grandparents, of senior citizens who were some of the most reliable voters out there and also some of the most republican voters out there. >> if not for young people, we have a starkly different result. we saw not a red wave. we didn't see a blue wave, but we certainly saw a young voter gen z wave. >> kal: a gen z wave! [cheers and applause] come on! not a red wave, not a blue wave coming out of millennial pink wave. so remember when i said the establishment feels threatened by you? well, that's because when you vote, you often get a lot of the things to happen. marriage equality, climate action, and yes, we need to. [cheers and applause] it's young people who overwhelmingly pushed to get these things done. so, keep it up. don't let them make you complacent. because, long story short, you're powerful, and they're

scared of you. so go make them scared! [cheers and applause] when we come back, chasten buttigieg will be joining me. stay tuned. [cheers and applause] when cold symptoms keep you up, try vicks nyquil severe. just one dose starts to relieve 9 of your worst cold and flu symptoms, to help take you from 9 to none. for max-strength nighttime relief, nyquil severe.

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[cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a former author, teacher, and advocate. his latest book is based on his "new york times" bestselling memoir. it's called "i have something to tell you -- for young adults." please welcome chasten buttigieg! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] hey, man! [cheers and applause] there you go! man, okay, i'm really excited to talk about your book but this is newsy because of the week that this has been. at the gridiron dinner in

washington, d.c., a dinner or politicians are known to make humorous speeches -- they try, vice president mike pence made a joke about your husband taking maternity leave and he referred to it as "maternity leave." when i saw that, my biggest reaction was, really? you're just going to recycle in 1998 joke that has been around forever? but what was your reaction? >> i mean, i think "joke" is being generous. [cheers and applause] >> kal: [laughs] >> and especially on "the daily show." it is a sad trend of people on the other side using homophobia, misogyny to try to make a point. he is trying to launch a presidential campaign. in my experience about presidential politics, it's about who you bring into the fold, what you inspire people to believe in, a better version of america, especially in the early days. i guess that is how he wants to start his campaign which i don't think it surprising to any of us. >> kal: he's using us to be relevant and we are going to move on, not give him that time.

[cheers and applause] this is the young adult version of your "new york times" best seller, which i assume is just going to get banned as soon as it comes out, congratulations. exactly. why did you write a young adult version? >> you know, i am very proud of this one. it is the book i wish i would've had when i was in eighth grade. you know, i grew up in conservative rural northern michigan where i did not know any out people. i thought that i had a sort of disease. i thought something was wrong with me. in this book is an opportunity to tell young people that there is nothing wrong with you. there are millions of people out here who love you, who will support you. you know, and that is the best part about projects like this, if you get an opportunity to go out there and do good with that platform. so we are going to take this book onto her and go to some of these places like texas, floride will have those conversations with kids about there is nothing wrong with who you are, and a lot of people are out here backing you up.

[cheers and applause] >> kal: that is awesome, very nice. you are not dated, from what i gather, if you are saying things like that and actually going to those places. how long have you guys lived in d.c.? >> two years, i guess. >> kal: what was the expectation of d.c. versus the reality? >> [laughs] i mean, it is a tremendous opportunity for a family to have, you know, that chance to be part of something big. i certainly thought that people were elected into office to go and make change in this country, and then i got there and realized that there are incredible people who are focused on improving people's lives. and there are also people who use washington just to audition to be on tucker carlson, you, yu know, d.c. has kind of become this content farm for some people where they go into hearings and they say something bombastic or offensive because they know they will get people outraged and then they can cut that and put on their podcast. to that experience of washington, the district is beautiful, people are great, and

then there was washington, and i try to keep as much of a distance as i can become a focus on my family, focus on the good, and a lot of the other stuff to fall off the shoulder. >> kal: you mentioned tucker carlson. he is kind of obsessed with you. [laughter] my question is, like, how do you deal with -- there was something he did, is pete buttigieg gay? i am like, how do you even -- why are they so obsessed with you? >> i think it is easier to focus on really weird shit. you know? and that gets people fired up and it gets people talking about you online and people making a lot of money. people make a lot of money by you being mad. so i wish this guy would send us some diaper money or something. the amount of money that he is raising for the family -- >> kal: he's making money off of you. >> you see people like the state senator in nebraska who uses her platform to do good things. you see the elliott larsen civil rights act passed in michigan today, extending civil rights protection -- [cheers and applause] to the people in michigan, so

that is the stuff we say focused on and let people in latent television talk about the things they want. >> kal: as we wrap up, how do you stay that hopeful? how do you go from idiots like me asking you about tucker carlson and you are like, here's the things i find helpful? how do you do that? >> my draft folder is long. be one the ones you haven't sent? [laughs] >> it is my kids. they have changed everything. at the end of the day, you've got two screaming twins who just want their dinner and they want their bath time and that groans you because that is the good work. you are raising the next generation, you are focused on the good, you are focused on the opportunity to make this a better country, and you let the weird people on television talk about whatever they want to do. because i know we are all part of something much bigger than ourselves. [cheers and applause] >> kal: chasten buttigieg, everybody! thank you so much for being here! you are incredible. i have set "i have something to tell you -- for young adults" is available for preorder. thanks, man! we are going to take a quick break. we'll be right back. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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[cheers and applause] >> kal: well, that's our show for tonight, and that's my time as guest host. but stay tuned for next week, when your host will be al franken! and if you want more of me, then pick up a copy of my book or audio book, "you can't be serious," wherever books are sold. here it is. your "moment of zen." >> have you seen "harold and kumar go to white castle"? >> excuse me? >> have you seen the movie "harold and kumar go to white castle"? >> no, i have not, congresswoman. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪