hey, babe. things are finally looking up. soon i'm going to find the grail and bring you back. but in the meantime, don't you worry about me being faithful. because the only dating i'm interested in... is carbon dating. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, al franken! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> al: welcome to "the daily show." i'm al franken. it's day three of my time at the show. and it's also day three of the trump indictment watch. now, nothing has happened so far today, but let me be clear about something. i only have one more day this week behind his desk. and if some other host gets this one, i'm gonna be so pissed. so come on, alvin bragg, tomorrow. [cheers and applause] but whatever, let's get into today's [bleep] headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] okay, let's kick things off with my home state of minnesota, which just became the fourth

state in the union to guarantee free school lunch to every single child! [cheers and applause] yes, yes. that's a pretty good, feel-good story in minnesota, right? well, one republican state senator didn't think so. >> mr. president, i have yet to meet a person in minnesota that is hungry. yet, to date, i have yet to meet a person in minnesota that says they don't have access to enough food to eat. now, i should say that hunger is a relative term, mr. president. you know? i had a cereal bar for breakfast i guess i'm hungry now. [boos] >> al: the bad news is, this is a guy who we call in minnesota "a big jerk."

you know, the great thing is, we've got 10,000 lakes we've got that we can throw this gosh darn jerk into. [applause] sorry, went off the deep end there. this guy is clearly a jerk. and i don't know why this guy is being so stingy. there is a simple solution here. every year, at the minnesota state fair, they always carve a giant butter sculpture of princess kay of the milky way. so why don't we take that sculpture and shove it up this guy's ass? [cheers and applause] enough on that one. let's head west a couple of states to the great state of

idaho, where they just voted to bring back firing squads as a potential form of capital punishment. death by firing squad. that is so red state. personally, i prefer the method of execution and liberal states, give them a few ambien. and put a ken burns documentary on until they have met their god. some people argue that a firing squad is less barbaric than lethal injection. but i have an even less barbaric idea. what if we just didn't execute people at all? [cheers and applause] or we duct tape a hand grenade to their head.

and finally, let's talk about donald trump, who could be arrested any day now in the porn star hush money case. and according to "the new york times," trump is trying to decide whether he should smile for the cameras when he gets arrested. now, personally, i think it would be a good idea to smile. in fact, maybe he could do this smile. you'll notice we put a black bar across the young woman's face to help maintain her anonymity. but don't forget, trump has four separate investigations that could land him in jail. remember those classified documents he took from the white house? well, that case just got a lot more serious for him.

>> trump faces multiple criminal investigations. sources telling "abc news" a federal judge has determined that there is enough compelling preliminary evidence that trump broke the law in another case: the special counsel's investigation of trump's handling of classified documents. in particular, prosecutors say he knowingly misled his attorneys so that they would file a sworn statement last june that he knew was false, claiming that a diligent search of his mar-a-lago estate found he had turned over all the classified documents in his possession. >> al: so just to be clear: trump was already in trouble for stealing classified documents from the white house. and now he may have broken the law again by tricking his own lawyers into lying to the government. so trump's original crimes are now having their own little baby crimes.

[applause] they grow up and implicate you so fast, don't they? the little guys? [cheers and applause] can you imagine being a lawyer for donald trump and finding out he set you up? that would make you question whether it was even worth buying a degree from barbados in the first place. i know there are a lot of different cases going on and this all seems very complicated, but there is a simple explanation. trump is a criminal. i hope that clears it up. [applause] now, as you know, as trump faces the prospect of arrest, he has called on his supporters to take to the streets and protest. so jordan klepper went down to

the courthouse to bear witness to the chaos. check it out. ♪ ♪ >> last week, donald trump declared his arrest was imminent, and called for a protest to take our nation back outside the manhattan district attorney's office. so yesterday, i ventured all the way downtown and joined the media circus to observe this crowd of protesters who were definitely around here some somewhere. this is true social here. it says, tuesday, protest, take our nation back. excuse me, is this the protest for trump? the supporting -- are we taking our nation back? is that today? i thought that was today. >> so i did have the day right. then i found a proud and totally concealed trump supporter. >> coming here to support trump. >> so trump went on his own

social media and he called out people, his supporters, to come out here and support him. and right now, that is just you. >> i am here, i am here. i don't need you to come outside. i got this. >> okay. >> i am here to see what is going on. everybody is talking about it so i came here to check it out. >> you wanted to see with your own eyes. >> that's right. i don't believe what i'm hearing on the news. >> what have you seen so far? >> absolutely nothing. >> nothing? >> correct. >> this was an unusual maga rally. the numbers were low and it was in my own city. however, the arguments over some basic facts were professionally familiar. >> do you think it is fair for trump to be indicted if it does happen this week? >> listen, i don't know what specific facts, but what i do know is he is that i president. >> right now -- >> i think he is the president. >> he is serving the role as

your president currently? >> in my heart, he is my president. >> does have to be clear. you think joe biden's president, right? >> no, i think that man is a scam. i just know that allegedly he is there because that man doesn't make any sense. >> but technically he is there, he is serving the role of president. >> may be, i don't know. i have not been up to washington, d.c., have not seen him walk in the white house. >> you don't think he spends time in the white house? >> i don't know. >> there are videos of him in the white house. i just want to get beyond this fact. he is a resident of the united states. donald trump was the president of the united states. fact? >> that is what some say. >> joe biden is going after him because -- i don't even know why he is going after him because they are going to push them out the door and probably bring michelle or michael obama and, okay? >> michael obama. >> that is correct. >> why do you call her michael obama? >> what do joan rivers say? >> what to joan rivers say? do you get most of your news

from joan rivers? >> i don't get none of my news from joan rivers, i'm just saying what she said about michael obama. >> regardless of the sources, the maga crowd, which the police estimated to be between three and six people, believed these charges were unworthy of a former president. >> i don't feel trump should be in trouble. that is unconstitutional. i feel to invite a president. >> this is a political attack? >> yes. >> they are not charging someone else. >> hold on. everything is political. >> they didn't charge somebody else with this exact crime. >> yeah, so why should he be in trouble? >> well, michael cohen was charged, pled guilty, served time in jail. >> disloyalty. loyalty means nothing. >> this is about a man who cheated on his wife with a porn star while his wife was at home with their newborn son. but loyalty is a big issue for

you? >> we man. >> even trump doesn't understand how the law works. turns out he doesn't know when it works either. but for maga supporters feeling fomo about missing the donald's showdown was just us, i'm confident you'll get another chance. >> how long will you be here today? >> maybe a couple more hours, walk around, grab something to eat. >> if trump is indicted in georgia and asked him are you going there? >> i don't know, maybe i will. >> a big old indictment to our. see you in georgia, maybe d.c. [cheers and applause] >> al: jordan klepper, everyone. all right, when we come back, we'll tell you why tucker carlson's face looks like that. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> al: welcome back to "the daily show." you know, we have a lot of fun here, but none of our jokes would be possible without the real work of real journalists. real journalists like tucker carlson. know many people know tucker carlson is a world-class asshole. but what those people often fail to mention is that he also looks like an asshole. although it turns out, he gets a lot of help as we will discover

in another installment of "the people behind the people." >> we have this information is part of a criminal investigation but we can't announce immediately as we typically do. we will hold it. >> it is okay. ready. now looked dumbfounded. >> as if nintendo just announced luigi is trans. >> good, good, yes. >> my name is gavin bancroft and i'm tucker carlson's face coach. ♪ ♪ >> if you have ever seen tucker looking like a groom that left himself at the altar or scandalized wa baked potato, you have seen my work. >> tucker, lean into the camera like you are a 10-year-old watching a cow give birth. perfect. now hold it. hold it. hold it! >> some people think tucker was born with a face that looks like an inbred boat shoe but it is actually a lot of hard work. >> [bleep] yeah! >> that is why he pays me $400,000 a year.

america. >> and now laugh like you are a fancy prince who just saw a peasant get kicked by a mule! >> oh, god, because we don't do math. [sarcastic laugh] >> i will scour the internet for new surprised and disgusted face is that tucker can make during his interview when he finds out one of the m&ms is a lesbian. >> the green eminem is apparently now a lesbian may be. >> it is such a treat to get to work with tucker. he has all the attributes if he is coach could want. a 40 pounds goal, natural mouth breather, the haircut of a drunk lacrosse. it is a face that is made to tell old people that "abbott elementary" is critical race theory. more supple, subtle expressions. >> hey, tucker, let's just try a casual smile like you were walking to work and you saw a mexican family getting evicted. >> but at the end of the day, tucker knows where his bread is buttered, and none is looking like a rank inside walked in on his parents having sex. >> that is a wrap on tucker's

face! tucker's face, everyone! see you tomorrow! germ >> al: stay tuned because when we come back, heather mcghee will be joining me on the show! we'll be right back after this word from that my pillow guy. [cheers and applause] ♪ music playing ♪ ♪ ça me déplairait pas ♪ ♪ que tu m'embrasses, na-na-na ♪ ♪ mais faut saisir ta chance ♪ ♪ avant qu'elle passe, na-na-na ♪ ♪ si tu cherches un truc pour ♪ ♪ briser la glace, banana, ♪ ♪ banana, banana, ♪ ♪ banana-na, na-na-na-na ♪

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engagement rings now up to 40% off. ( ♪♪ ) ( ♪♪ ) you found the one. now find the ring at zales, the diamond store. (baby babbles quietly) now fi- shh. shh. shh.ales, so hungry. - the usual? - yes. (phone clicks) (positive winning music) - [narrator whispering] go for grubhub. (triumphant music) (baby sighs quietly) a message from fireball. can i leave? this work party ain't working... 'f' it! ♪♪ ♪♪ fireball. [cheers and applause] >> al: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an author whose "new york times" best seller, "the sum of us," has just been adapted for young

readers. please welcome heather mcghee! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ good to see you here. you know, i've been doing podcasts, very prestigious podcast for about four years now, and you are my favorite guest. you've been on three times, you are one of my favorite guests, you are so brilliant. [cheers and applause] you are an economist. "the sum of us" is about how race intersects with economic inequality. and it became an instant "new york times" best seller,

and now you have done a book that is for schoolchildren. for -- >> toddlers. [laughter] >> al: not for toddlers but for early middle schoolers? >> middle school and high school, yeah. >> al: and how do you explain this to them? >> we really didn't dumb it down. that was a lesson we did, we did casual focus groups of educators and middle school students and they were like, don't dumb it down. we actually have access to all the same information you do, and we have the same kinds of questions. the core question at the heart of "the sum of us" is why does it seem like we can't have nice things in america? nice things like, not like flying cars, but nice things like universal health care and paid family leave and child care and a great school in every neighborhood. and they have those questions too. so in "the sum of us," i use a lot of data and a lot of history but ultimately it is a series of stories, like the story of the drained public pool. >> al: the cover of this is a

boy jumping in a pool, a white boy, looks like, and i think a black child in there, tell that story. that is the first story you tell these kids, right? >> yeah, it is. it is the story of what happened to many of the country's nearly 2,000 lavishly funded grand resort-style public swimming pools that were built in that same new deal era of public goods around when the big housing subsidies were happening. and i like to get the kids to picture what it would look like to have a community pool that was free and could hold over 1,000 swimmers at a time. and most of them, they kind of gasp and they are excited about the idea. and then i tell them that they were usually for whites only. and they are sort of like, oh. but then i say, in the civil rights movement, black families began to say, you know what, it is our tax dollars that have funded those public pools all along, we want our kids to swim and the courts sided with them

and progress was made and then, many towns and cities, not just in the jim crow south, decided to drain the public pools rather than integrate them. they literally drained out the water and backed up truckloads of dirt. >> al: and then they planted over at. just so black and white people couldn't swim together. >> that is exactly right. it's this zero-sum story, this old story that says that progress for people of color has to come at the expense of white people, that we can't all sort of share in well-being, that we are in this competition for dominance and status. and you know what? young people get it. it is this story that is of course unbelievable. but they have lived in america long enough to know that it is actually quite believable. because they understand that over their lifetime, public goods have really been atrophying, that they don't have those big, beautiful swimming pools anymore. that there isn't free college the way there was -- that was kind of a public pool that was funded by the government.

and they know that as the college-going population got more diverse, for them, they are already in a generation -- >> al: this zero-sum, and "the sum of us" is about we all do better when we all do better, which is what paul wellstone used to say. [applause] >> the late great, the late great. you know, the part of the book that young people really resonate with is the hopeful part. they want to hear that we can fix this. and i truly believe that everything about the world that we see now, all of the dysfunction, it is because people made decisions to make the world as it is. and so people can make better decisions. and the core message is that, through collective action, people coming together across lines of race, finding solidarity, recognizing that we all do better when we all do better, that we all want big, beautiful public pools, we can really win and take on powerful interests, but we can't if we

are divided. and they get that. it has been a really fun trip across the country, schools, libraries. >> al: you have been all over the country, finding communities where this is happening. this works when we realize "the sum of us." that is how we create wealth, that is how we create prosperity when that is how we create a good life for all americans. >> that's right. you should really run for office, al. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> al: you heard her. [cheers and applause] the young readers' adaption, adaptation, rather, of heather's book is available now. and "the sum of us" podcast series is available wherever you get your podcasts. okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back

after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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2012, and what they have done is absolutely amazing to try to save other families from going through the horror that they experienced. if you can, please help support their continuing work by donating to the link below. really would appreciate it. now here it is. your "moment of zen." >> no telling what snoop dogg can come up with. >> she has a snoop dogg tattoo on her shoulder. >> i'm telling you. julie, what do you think about that? ♪ ♪ >> ask your doctor if losing half your body weight is right for you. >> tonight on "tooning out the news." conservative hot take host tyler templeton delivers his full report from cpac where the top conservative minds face the hot