2012, and what they have done is absolutely amazing to try to save other families from going through the horror that they experienced. if you can, please help support their continuing work by donating to the link below. really would appreciate it. now here it is. your "moment of zen." >> no telling what snoop dogg can come up with. >> she has a snoop dogg tattoo on her shoulder. >> i'm telling you. julie, what do you think about that? ♪ ♪ >> ask your doctor if losing half your body weight is right for you. >> tonight on "tooning out the news." conservative hot take host tyler templeton delivers his full report from cpac where the top conservative minds face the hot

place for a hot one in nancy pelosi's office. then the liberal virtue signal adam talley for his lame excuse that he didn't appear in the movie woman talking because he was not offered a role. but first we cover whether donald trump's indictment will reduce his lead in the primary from insurmountable to incomparable. it's time for the news! ♪ ♪ good evening, i am james smart, congratulations to rupert murdoch for a finding that special someone human suspend every one of its remaining day with. top story tonight, the world stamps with rapt attention as we bear witness to a historic first pretty rich powerful person my possibly getting out of trouble. steps across the nation are preparing for influx of upset, mar-a-lago bedbugs, president trump is yelling into the void that is truth or social. >> these four horrible radical left investigations of your

all-time favorite president, me is just a continuation of the most disgusting witch hunt in the history of our country. but they are not coming after me, they are coming after you. i'm just standing in the way. >> trump calling on his followers to lay down their lives for this ticket because of him not having to pay a small fine. meanwhile trump's allies on fox news are rushing to his defense thing our overachieving obsessed society must stop demanding perfection for porn star hush payments. >> the activist d.a. goes after donald trump or essentially what is a nuisance payment. >> a bookkeeping charge. >> bookkeeping era. so clearly weaponized to target a single individual. >> that's right, district attorneys are way too uptight about crime, they need to chill out, relax, unless we are talking about poor people, in which case, it's judgment day. >> democrats distribute soft on crime. >> crime is out of control. >> progressive district attorneys and their

soft-on-crime policies. >> soft on crime policy. >> soft on crime. >> soft on crime. >> soft on crime. >> d.a.'s in chicago, new york, philadelphia, los angeles all have been accused of being soft on crime. >> of course fox news believes that new york is soft on crime, look at how many sex criminals have abated justice in their own building. joining now democratic strategist, pausing from a poster, lydia parker. >> good evening. >> the bureaucratic chief told a first date his inserts were on back order, jonathan keene. and the correspondent shaken up by grabbing the wrong mom's hand at chuck e. cheese's. and host of nbc is way too and bro tree limb and chief jonathan lamere, thank you for staying up with us to be with us. >> i'm exhausted. >> i get it. explain how the manhattan district attorney can be an overreaching authoritarian on petty crimes and a do-nothing

bum who'd refuses to prosecute petty crimes? >> yes, there were a republican talking points are not always coherent on alvin bragg, and he is the subject of their ire, because he is bringing charges against donald trump. this is a first. we have never had a president neither while in office or out of office to be charged with a crime, be the center of so many criminal investigations, and there are of course political ramifications of this as well since donald trump already president once has declared his candidacy again, and at least in the primary come his poll numbers are only going to go up after potential indictment. >> charging trump will just help him politically. instead democrats should give him a pass and watch as he crumbles under the weight of his legendary guilt complex. >> also, if you charge him, how will the three fox and friends hosts squeezed into the little booth when they do the show just for him. >> the real question is will

donald -- speak of the real question is will don junior relented to his father's pleas to go to jail for them. >> it's a good question. hang on, junior, i understand you're breaking news. >> that's right, dad, as you know this marks the first time that a former president has been indicted in the former presidents are panicked. >> junior, no former president has done anything remotely like donald trump. >> yes, far worse, let's go live to george w. bush who is speeding towards the southern border, panicked he will be accountable for the hundreds of thousands iraqi citizens that were killed. >> truly a harrowing time, so much for that update. >> hold on, president obama is making a run for it, concerned he will be charged for the air into drone strikes. >> that cannot be good for his film slate. >> an hour that jimmy carter out of an abundance of caution has commandeered an airline heading for south america. >> you don't build that many

houses unless you need places to lay low. >> jonathan, you are at the white house right now, are there helicopters over the residence just above joe and jill? >> to this point, no, president biden and the first lady are inside the building. no sign of an escape to wilmington, delaware, or beyond. >> joe biden should be concerned, it can't be illegal to imprison a generation for carrying weed. >> i am hearing ronald reagan jr. is getting his corpse in international waters before it's arrested for ignoring the crisis. and i think that we all saw this coming, there is bill clinton highly agitated about his new petty crimes fleeing on foot. >> he has clearly been training for this. >> transportation choice as he has 27 for our -- 24-hour access -- >> you can't run to little st. james. to speak i'm sure that he could talk a dolphin into giving him a ride, but let's leave it there. tyler templeton, how are you taking the lack of approval into us tonight. >> tonight is my full report from cpac 2023, the far right's hottest ticket thanks to the ticket from the book burning, that's ahead.

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take it slow. slow, slow. mom? wow. wow! and it'll check 'em both for free? yes! fix finder. the most complete, free warning light report backed by technician verified fixes. ♪ ♪ >> ihop, everything in here is sticky and that's how we like it. >> with the resting heart rate and a desert, tyler templeton, my former partner from 2023, this is hot take. ♪ ♪ what's up, keepers of the cabinet, if conservatism is a religion coming and it is, then the holy it land is the conservative political action conference. i had not always dreamed of making that pilgrimage, and finally that dream came true. you're now is my report from c peck. i'm tyler templeton, host of the hit show hot take, and i am in harvard maryland with the

political action conference, the largest gathering of conservatives in the world. it's christmas day for people disinvited from christmas, all of the covid variants are here. here are the republican party is at a crossroads, who will the party donates leader, the anti-immigrant, anti-trans florida native, or the anti-immigrants, anti-trans floor and a native. will they come up with color create solutions to encasing mike pence and concrete, and who in god's name is nikki haley? i am joined by my trusty assistant mark who met all of the job requirements of having a license and being able to provide its own suit. let's go inside. the biggest name in dominion lawsuit dependence where they are, and i asked of them important questions. oh, it is mike lindell, hey, mr. lindell, you might owe old dominion a lot of money, have you thought of releasing a new pillow to's mother judges? >> you are disgusting.

>> go to the bag. taylor green, i just want you to know they get your behavior at the state of the union inspired me to heckle my brother-in-law's funeral. it c peck chairman of match lack, the man of the hour. that hour is grope o'clock. there it is, thus star of c p peck, matt's groping hand. it's more beautiful than was described. oh, it's steve bannon, his world plan of domination is going perfect. first he worked in the white house, and now he is interviewing this guy. oh, my god, it is former trump adviser sebastian gorka, love the used tissue pocket square. do you have firsthand knowledge of the immigration after your pubic region migrated to your face. they said when it show, but here he is. ron desantis! what is your plan for public security? wow coming his way more charismatic and person. matt gaetz is here, i guess they are carting, he did not bring a

date. matt, you dropped your prom-postal sign. it's really special, and i had enough mingling with the conservative stars, and was trying to meet with the regular folk, they drive insane so they can become stars paired what organization are you here with customer >> with retired principal. i am just here by myself. >> they are flooding the libraries with woke books and we have a few with us. have you seen "where's waldo's estrogen patch?" >> i don't know, they do not have those types of books when i was a kid. i would not allow that type of book, no. >> we have "the bernstein bears, welcome a third into their po poly." >> wow, this is all this wokeness. it's trying to get all of this acceptable, like normal. >> now a couple of more books that are conservative approved. both sides of the diary of anne frank. would you put this in schools

customer >> i don't know, i have to read it. because you can take both sides as it could be something. >> what does both mean to you? >> i don't know, bi. >> and who are you voting for and the straw poll? >> nikki haley is my first choice. >> people are going crazy for nikki haley, i could barely get out of my room today. disney has gotten out of control with wokeism, have you seen some of these reboots? hispanic hercules, james and the giant black lives matter rally. gay aladdin. gay bmb. ratatouille is gay. in american table, five oh does toppers. >> i will not see those. >> to cut out my brain there was excited to see gay bmb, i would see some seminars. asking women repeatedly the dues

and dues, and have a meltdown workshop, and then of course, the 450 spur. now no conservative event is complete unless people are up charging the desperate for a needless. >> you're just a guy i need to talk to, i have some patriotic products to sell. liberals want every american to change genders, but they can't do that if you are wearing this pants fire alarm. >> there you go, holy cow. >> and if you don't want to spend a bundle for the alarm, we sailed outside on your assessed neighbors won't know the difference, would you sell this? >> any girl that knows me, they know that that is not going to be secure, because no sign is going to control big willie. >> i really enjoyed you saying that, thank you. we all know match lab is being accused of groping a staffer. and if you are like me, you are bonds that you missed out on the expanse, that's why i have a virtual reality simulation, where you can watch a man with

horse teeth drink and die first into it. >> that would be a big seller. >> before i called it a night, i had to stare up at the stars and wonder if there was a little tyler up there also being yelled at by mike lindell, i decided right then and there that i would not sweat the small stuff, and off to my hotel room i went. >> mark, it happened again! of course they give me an all-gender bathroom. grabbed the side. good, good, that will take out the weirdos when i am taking a dump standing up. that is ugly. get this tacky artwork out of here. good, good. a little small, but i compress my eye brawls against it so it has an imax. what is this? a tv should only say things that i was about to say. msnbc is 37, so melt the three and a seven out of there. don't touch the two and the six, that has funny visio's. did you check for the squad. i could have sworn that i saw

someone talking euphoria to some toddlers. it taking my gorilla knockout pills, got my back breakfast ready, nice room temperature. great job, mark, you are good for the day. just make sure no tarantulas walk across my face, and if you fall asleep or one second coming you are fired, good night. ♪ ♪ [snoring] [screaming] finally, the day had arrived, the day that i would be in the same covid hot spot as donald trump, and the son who bears his name until trump changes his name to stevie just so that comparison stop. oh, my god, oh, my god, it's kimberly, kimberly guilfoyle, i love you, and on june are coming you are like kenny and jack kennedy if it was up with coping cane -- cocaine. >> there he is not seen sucking on his mommy's white teeth. any need some special medicine. you got this, mark. i will be right here cheering you on, maybe hit up the spot, don't >> norah: any.

don don jr. has a coke heavy. you spent 20,000 of your dollars on that. ♪ ♪ mark, do you know why i set you down? you spelt don jr.'s cocaine all over yourself. you did not sell one adt sign, and he had the chance to kiss marjorie taylor green and you didn't. you are fired. i was worried he would get emotional, but i will rehire you on an at will second by second basis, fireball for any reason, even if it is discriminatory if you complete this mission. when donald trump arrives, fans will tear his suit to shreds, and he will need a new one. with the help of a stream stressed i created the perfect suit, but it's too heavy for any hanger on earth, so i need you to wear it and deliver it to him. but i must warn you, it is to the gravitational pull on jupiter, keep moving, stopping these full cellular collapse. are you ready?

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ yes, mark, go. he is doing it. he is locked and pretty as the chosen one. oh, crap, secret service! my poor sweet mark. what will i do? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ arrest that man, my god, he is doing something so weird, right? godspeed, mark. oh, many hot dogs. hell yeah. that's a wrap on cpap 2023. i made a lot of friends, caught a lot of covid, and mark is now fully addicted to cocaine. as a thank you, i will let you keep the soup. and i don't want to hear that it is too generous.

godspeed, walk home to new york. hurry up, you have to be at work and like two hours. fly like a flying squirrel! ♪ ♪ thank you so much, and please get in touch if you have any leads on mark's whereabouts. coming up, virtue signal interview adam paoli. stick around. >> "tooning out the news" the >> "tooning out the news" the podcast is available thursdays the seats, gotta go! ♪ what play is that? ♪ when you play here... no backboard! tuck your elbow. ♪ fade away!

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trump is being indicted, and there's no way he survives the light find being elevated to martyr status. this is virtue signal. ♪ ♪ i am kylie weaver, and yes, i picked everything all everywhere all at once to win my march madness bracket. join amanda echo chamber is white white house press secretary who throws herself down a pair of stairs when biden stumbles. and former dnc chair who would accept fascism if it meant her neighbors cannot install and a above ground pool charlotte fitzgerald. in the lincoln project senior advisor and only human of not opposable sons troy lawson. top story, y'all. tonight i can report to the american people and to the world at the manhattan district attorney's office has conducted an operation to indict donald j.

for jumpsuit he will soon be wearing trump, the leader of all chito. let's bring in our esteemed guests, actor and comedian adam paoli. welcome to the show, adam. >> thank you for having me. >> literally my pleasure. now donald trump has been the best thing to ever happen to comedy, and after his indictment, comedy will go away forever. any parting words for jokes in general? >> no, i know that that was happening. but i have to make some arrangements i guess to shift over to dramatic work. it does everyone in austin, texas, know that that's happening? >> yeah, they have all been notified and there will be a memorial service next week, so get your slideshow in order. >> okay, good. >> justice is finally served, and i can't wait to go to the graves of a million covid dead and whisper to their headstones "rest easy, that kind of got him."

speaker trumps punishment should be worse than michael cohen's, but how do you top senate arrest with michael cohen? >> i was going to say that, but i'm glad you got a chance to shine. when "tooning out the news" returns, more with adam paoli. >> "tooning out the news" on >> "tooning out the news" on when you're a leader, the competition is always hoping that you're gonna slip up. so, these suits are here to make sure that anything that i say is legally indisputable. like... apartments.com has the widest variety of variety.

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♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ ♪ >> welcome back, adam, you started in so many amazing projects, "happy endings" "sonic the hedgehog" franchise, and "mindy project" which is basically my world story. and "who invited charlie" streaming now. i am on your team, so help me understand why you chose to star and "who invited charlie"

instead of "women talking?" >> -- it's a great question, and i asked my agents that a lot. i am not really -- "women talking" is high-profile stuff, and i think if i were to be in that movie, it would be a supporting role at this point in my career. >> is it also your agent's fault you did not star in the 1985 movie "the color purple." >> i think my headset has gone out, i don't -- jordan? >> yes, i'm still here. >> i got you, charlotte. >> how are you, adam? >> i'm getting charlotte clear as a whistle. are you over there? >> a okay, buddy, thanks for checking. >> something is going on here. [laughs] >> well, what is your excuse for not appearing in the documentary about the poisoning of russian operation leader lex tina baldy,

or should we assume you are pro prudent. >> i heard that question loud and clear, and no, i am not pro putin. i am pro the russian people though. >> honestly i have to say, good for your agent for sticking with you despite all of this controversy. and let me say, you could redeem yourself if you considered starring in a little movie i wrote called "the sisterhood promise" about 14 generations of women grappling with love and loss, it's dramatic, and funding, and actiony, and not a cookie-cutter movie with a coherent plot. so adam, do you want to be in my movie? >> that sound great and yes, 100%. as you said before i desperately need work. and it sounds like a juicy role. >> honestly, thank you so much. that is so amazing, and what a great backup plan if paul rudd passes. >> he will. >> i actually just got really

shy,