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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  April 21, 2023 1:25am-2:00am PDT

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[ school bell rings ] [ indistinct conversations ] boy, i'm sure glad that's over with. yeah, but... i'm still really not sure what just happened. well, now at least we know that sometimes a good ol' thumbs up from a human is better than a machine-generated lie. yeah. yeah, you're right, stan. i love you. dude, how did you pull all that off? chatgpt, dude. ♪♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, jordan klepper! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
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>> jordan: welcome to "the daily show." i am jordan klepper. it's my last night hosting the show tonight. [audience reacts sadly] it's also 4/20! [cheers and applause] what an emotional rollercoaster we just went on. we've got a great show for you tonight. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] there is a so much news that i wanted to talk about today. i wanted to talk about elon musk's rocket exploding 4 minutes after launch. it still didn't make it a successful flight but does make it a successful metaphor. and to the haters who said he couldn't possibly destroy something faster than twitter? jokes on you. [cheers and applause] also i wanted to talk about the presidential race and how
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robert f. kennedy, jr., the famous anti-vaxxer, launched a primary campaign against joe biden. if you ask me, it is pretty bold to build your entire campaign on being anti-vaccine, since so many of the people who might vote for you are already dead. but unfortunately, we can to spend time on any of that, because there is another thing going on, and surprise, surprise, it is gun violence. now i didn't want to spend every day this week talking about guns, but this is america, and it's not giving me a choice. because maybe you've noticed that a lot of this week's gun violence had something in common. >> they are the things that happen all the time, a mixed up address, pulling into the wrong driveway, or confusing one car from another. yet, remarkably, for a third time in a week, seemingly innocent moments of confusion have led to bloodshed. from kansas city, where a teen who approached the wrong doorstep is recovering from two bullet wounds, to new york state, where a
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20-year-old woman was fatally shot after the car she was in accidentally drove up the wrong driveway, and now in elgin, texas, a high school cheerleader has been shot and seriously wounded after her friend apparently approached the wrong car. >> police say peyton washington and heather roth were in a parking lot when roth opened a car she thought was one of their own and saw a man inside. roth says the man started firing as she was apologizing. >> jordan: does anyone else watching the stories feel like they are losing their goddamn mind? call me old-fashioned, but what ever happened to asking a person one [bleep] question? are you confused about why someone you don't know is at your house? open your mouth and just. ask them! "can i help you?" it's not that hard! [cheers and applause] i know you have second amendment rights, america, but you also have first amendment rights.
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use them! we're paying attention to them now because a few of them happened in one week, , what is wild, these wrong police shootings happen all the time. and that's because america is a country where every day, millions of scared, armed people are willing to use lethal force but them being bad at google i mean, what does it say when the most dangerous job in america is jehovah's witness? you know how bad things have gotten? remember that couple in st. louis, the mccloskeys? a couple of years ago, they went out onto their front yard and pointed their guns at protesters. and they got a lot of shit for it. you know what? they didn't fire at anybody! and i never thought i'd say this, but please, america, be more like these gun nuts! let's move on to something else that is quintessentially american. people losing their shit on airplanes. >> we turn now to a southwest
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passenger's outburst over a crying baby that forced the plane to land before its destination. >> lower that baby's voice! >> this morning, it's a mid-air meltdown of epic proportions aboard one southwest flight. not just from the baby on board, but also from an adult passenger. >> we are in a [bleep] tin can with a baby in a goddamn echo chamber, and you want to talk to me about being [bleep] okay? >> okay, because you're yelling. >> so is the baby! [laughter and applause] >> jordan: "so is the baby?" i don't care what the situation is, that is never a strong argument. "oh, so a baby can poop its pants in public but i'm getting thrown out of this t.j.maxx?" this guy totally lost it. somebody should have checked
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[cheers and applause] at southwest, that's an extra 50 bucks. this story raises a lot of questions about passenger behavior and parental responsibilities. and i want to dig into all of these angles with the greatest news team in the world. let's go to the airport right nnow with roy wood jr. [cheers and applause] roy. roy, you interviewed the flight attendants. what did the flight attendants say? >> oh, this is so good. oh, my god. >> jordan: roy. roy. you interviewed the flight attendants, right? >> yeah, yeah. i was going to interview them but -- damn, why is it so good? it is so small but it's so good. >> jordan: i'm sorry, what is going on, roy?
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>> [laughs] look, look, jordan, i just wanted to relax a little bit. it's 4/20. [cheers and applause] so i just smoked a little bit of weed, and then i smoked a whole lot more. [laughs] >> jordan: you're high during the show? >> come on, man, the news is so depressing out there, and i just needed a break. plus, it's black history month. back up. >> jordan: roy, you literally just told me it's 4/20. that is april. >> is that' what the "4" stands for? >> jordan: i'm disappointed. sorry, folks, it is airy and professional. let's go to southwest headquarters to get the corporate reaction from our own desi lydic. desi. [cheers and applause] desi, is southwest's policy on baby attendance going to change? >> there's an even bigger question here, jordan, which is, how do planes even fly?
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like, they have wings, but the wings don't flap. i never seen a bird take off i never seen a plane take off like this. >> jordan: goddammit, desi, are you high? >> no! i mean, yes, but on weed. not high like in a plane. is that what you meant? >> jordan: no! that's not what i meant. honestly, desi! folks, i'm so sorry, this is a total lack of professionalism. you deserve better. it's unbelievable. let's try this one more time. michael kosta, are you here with us? [cheers and applause] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. don't you worry because i'm not high on weed, i am high on cocaine! >> jordan: very illegal. >> don't worry, it's medicinal. i bought it behind a walgreens. so we are good. >> jordan: did you at least interview anyone? >> oh, buddy, i interviewed everyone. i interviewed the guy. i interviewed the baby. i interviewed every piece of luggage. i interviewed myself. that was interesting. and i'm gonna interview the plane once it lands on this
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runway. whoo! >> jordan: how did you get on an active runway? >> it was easy. there was a door that was unlocked. it was basically unlocked. you just walk through it, punch out a security guard, and you're here. you are there. >> jordan: kosta, get out of there, it's not safe! >> don't worry, dude, i can't physically die. oh, i see the plane coming! bring it on! bring it on! let's go. >> hey, is there another cinnabon out here? >> jordan: roy, roy! >> how do they even get the cinnamon in the bun? >> i don't know, it is so good! >> jordan: how did you get there, you weren't even at the airport? >> i flew, this does work. >> by the time we do this, we can get -- >> jordan: you've got this without me. desi, roy, and michael, [cheers and applause] everyone. all right, when we come back, we'll talk about finding the solution to andrew tate. don't go away. [cheers and applause]
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we need to hit the road if we're going to beat the traffic! -what? -what? uh-uh. [growl] [beer can opening] maybe we'll just beat the traffic. tomorrow? ♪ ♪♪ they ordered pineapple. you gotta smell the butt to know if it's ripe. ♪♪
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(thwok!) hear that noise? means it's ripe! freshest cream always in the back. 'cause cream rules everything around? all right chefs, we gotta go get the beans! i think they asked for baked, bro. jellybeans?? chef, they definitely said pinto beans! no! actually, they want fava beans. you are so good at this. we get groceries. doordash. [cheers and applause]
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>> jordan: welcome back to "the daily show." you know, as part of my job, i talk to a lot of men. a lot of dumb men. >> we treat women with respect here. >> yes, we do. >> that's an american ideal. >> yeah. >> tell me about your shirt. what's it say? >> it says, "hillary sucks, but not like monica." >> read the transcript. right. >> have you read the transcript? >> i have not read it. >> look at the transcript, right? >> yeah, look at the transcript. >> have you read the transcript? >> uh... i trust the word of our president, man. >> come on, fake news, what you got? go find yourself a safe space. >> let me get this straight. you're yelling at me to find a safe space and you have elevated yourself with a megaphone and you have a shield. >> jordan: ah... [laughter and applause] [cheers and applause] we never kept in touch. but outside of my job
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interviewing dumb men, i am also the father of a young son. and as a father, my biggest goal is to not end up interviewing my son as part of my job. to make sure that happens, he's going to need some help. and that's what i want to talk about in tonight's "long story short." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] america is in the midst of some long overdue changes around gender and power. we're reexamining ideas of masculinity, femininity, the spectrum in between, and how fluid it all is. it's a difficult and necessary conversation, but luckily for us, we get to have these nuanced debates on twitter! now, this cultural change is important, and i'm glad it's happening. but when there is a cultural shift, it's easy to get lost within it. and even though it feels very strange to say this, a group that is being left out is young boys. and i know! i know! "a war on men?" i sound like i'm on a network that just got sued out of $780 million. [cheers and applause]
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but joke's on you. comedy central doesn't even have that kind of cash. my point is, we've had a great conversation about what men shouldn't be. men shouldn't be toxic, they shouldn't be overly aggressive, they shouldn't pay a porn star to keep quiet about an affair they had right after their son was born. it is a high, high bar. but we haven't been telling men what they should be. and that matters to young boys, who are looking for an identity, for a narrative about what it means to be a man. and that vacuum is being filled with the worst possible idea about manhood. >> former kickboxer and "big brother" contestant andrew tate, infamous for being the self-proclaimed king of toxic masculinity. tate's core message centers around the belief that masculinity is in the crosshairs, and he's defending it. his target audience: young men. >> this whole idea of being toxically masculine is complete garbage. >> the most dangerous men on earth are the weak men. >> feel, feel, feel, leave the feelings to the girls, right? that's what they do. we act. we're men of action. >> empowering females is the
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easiest way to weaken the will of men. >> study, study, study! give up your whole life in school, then you can be a doctor! you cant even buy a [bleep] sports car! >> the problem with most of you is i am sitting here with my sunglasses, bald head, millions of dollars, nearly unmatched fighting skills. i am morpheus. >> i need action. i need constant chaos in my life to feel content. i need to be driving a supercar and [bleep] fighting and [bleep] a bunch of [bleep] and champagne going crazy. >> jordan: okay, okay, we get it, you have a small penis! [cheers and applause] even through the video, you can tell this guy wears too much cologne. and by the way, not to tarnish his sparkling image, but andrew tate is currently under investigation for human trafficking. i know, it's always the first one you suspect. now, maybe you don't know andrew tate. maybe you're thinking, "who is this porn parody vin diesel?" you may not know him, but trust
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me, your sons do. >> with over 13 billion views on tiktok, tate's rhetoric is moving from online to the classroom. >> so i'm a teacher and i teach sixth grade. the amount of young 11-year-old boys that told me that they love andrew tate is ridiculous. >> one teacher says she hears "blatant misogyny" from the boys in her class, hearing them say that "girls belong in the kitchen and only exist for reproduction" and another claiming "they talk about alphas in sixth grade now." >> one teacher in south london noticed that his students were parroting tate's ideology. about a third of the 30 students in the class passionately argued that women were responsible for their own sexual assaults, one of tate's top lines. >> jordan: wow. times have really changed. when i was in sixth grade, the most toxic role model for boys was michaelangelo. he eats pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. that turtle doesn't give a [bleep].
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seriously, how can you be misogynistic in sixth grade? it is like the one year in life where all the girls are bigger than you. i wouldn't be running my mouth about allison if allison could hang me by my underwear on the flagpole. though solution to this problem is not to cancel andrew tate. interpol is hopefully gonna do that for us. but even if he disappeared, someone else would take his place and spew toxic shit at young boys just as well, and social media algorithms would pump it into young boys' eyes and ears just as fast. because that's really what all this is about. andrew tate is not interested in being a role model. he wants clicks for money. he doesn't want to raise your son. he's taking dad's seat at the table, but he's really the loudmouth uncle, who seems cool when you're a kid, but when you grow up, you realize living in a hotel is not a vacation.
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what we need is an alternative, positive narrative for young men to follow. it is ironic that these guys are talking about taking the red pill and using these matrix metaphors because if you are looking for a complex, emotionally available male role model to counter their bullshit idf manhood, take a look at the guy who took the red pill. keanu reeves. [cheers and applause] this is a man who is widely considered to be kind and decent. he donates huge sums of money to cancer research, he gives of his seat to woman on the subway, he bought a sandra bullock champagne and travels because she never had them before. he is the perfect man. [cheers and applause] maybe his movies glorify gun violence, but nobody is perfect. that makes a more perfect because our children should not drive or perfection paragraph that will make them sad. and those movies are sometimes pretty cool.
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the point is, young boys need a cultural role model who is kind and comfortable in his skin. not guys who are so fragile in their masculinity that they can pop a cigar without putting it in every social media platform. keanu reeves is not even on social media! that's how healthy he is. [cheers and applause] so, as a society, we have two options: we can either follow keanu reeves around and put everything he does on tiktok, or, probably better, we make sure that the conversation about modern society includes a role for men that young boys can look up to. because, long story short, if we don't talk to our boys, andrew tate is gonna talk to them, and that means ten years from now, i'm gonna be talking to them. [cheers and applause] all right, stay tuned because when we come back, ryan holiday will be joining me on the show. don't go away. [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is considered one of the leading stewards of stoic philosophy. he's behind "the daily stoic," "stillness is the key," "the obstacle is the way," and much more. please welcome ryan holiday! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ ryan, welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me. >> jordan: i've been a fan of yours for quite some time. you are a popular man. 12 best-selling books. that is a lot of books. that is almost more books than i have read. but you have a lot of fans out
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there, from very successful comedians like myself, to folks in the nfl, to senators. sort of what you speak to goes across many aisles, if you will. for those of you who don't know, a stoic philosopher, what are the tenants of stoicism? >> stoicism, if i do summarize it in one sentence, it is this idea that we don't control what happens to us in life, but we can control what how we respond to. the stoics say, every situation, big ones, small ones, ones you didn't want, ones you wanted, it is all an opportunity to respond with the four virtues. courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom. so the idea is that that is what life is asking from you. one or all of those virtues in some kind of a combination, that is what it is demanding of you. what is cool about the stoics, i think when people hear "philosopher," they think, like, a tweed jacket or an old white guy in a toga or whatever. >> jordan: sure. >> but the stoics were philosophers, they were thinkers, but they were also doers. the most well-known stoic is
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marcus aurelius, the emperor of rome, the philosopher king, but there were stokes who were slaves, soldiers who were artists, men, women, people trying to do it we are all trying to do, which is make sense of the crazy world that we are living in. >> jordan: there is a criticism of stoicism if you look at -- is it a philosophy that comes from a place of privilege? >> sure. >> jordan: for people that are in situations, where even institutional situations, look at things like racism from activism, movements, where the situation that they cannot control is one that is inherently oppressive. is stoicism teaching you how to accept those things and not push back? is there inherent privilege in there? >> it is hard to get more privilege than the emperor of rome. >> jordan: sure. >> but the philosopher that influences marcus aurelius more than any other philosopher, who he quotes in his writings, is a guy named epictetus, who is a slave. the opposite. you have extreme power and
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extreme powerlessness. all throughout history, the stoics have been involved in social movements and positive change making because, yes, there is a lot we don't control, but we do control what we do. we control whether we vote, whether we go out to a protest, whether we speak out about something. so courage is one of the virtues. justice is another virtue. discipline is a virtue. and wisdom is a virtue. all of these, i think, propel us into being informed and being active in the world. >> jordan: how do we utilize something like this? i go on the road and i talk to a lot of folks, and i get into infuriating conversations more often than not. people ask me, how do you deal with something like that? i do go to philosophy. i go to bourbon as well. hell of a philosophy. i don't know if you know the philosopher bookers. he's great. macallan is a great one, a scottish philosopher, he's great. but i do find elements, again, controlling your response and your temper.
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also empathy helped me get out of things like that. people also -- i talk to a lot of people who are really frustrated, both sides of the aisle. they are scary times. people turn to god, i think less and less people are turning to god. like, what do you say? what can people find in philosophy, and stoic philosophy that can help them, that can provide a balm to days where you wonder just how long we are going to be able to fight this battle? whether it is climate change, whether it is democracy, whether it is getting up in the morning? >> philosophy, at its best, is what they called a guide to a good life, human flourishing, not just happiness, productivity, purpose, meaning. and being able to endure suffering and pain and loss as we all have to go through in life. but i think if we can see philosophy as something we lean on, something that gives us counsel, that is really helpful. not as this thing that only people in universities do, but it is there for all of us.
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i think one of the problems is, as those other systems have fallen away, whether people are turning away from the church, or they are disillusioned with higher education, disillusioned with the media, where do they go? they go to random stuff on the internet. and a lot of those people are grifters or they are trying to weaponize those feelings or those doubts or those emotions of those people. and so people end up down these dead ends. and we can pity them but also understand that that is not a good way to go. >> jordan: if you had to replace a philosophy quote, if you had to replace "live, laugh, love," one of my faves, one of my faves, if i take that down from my living room -- >> looking for a sign at home goods. >> jordan: what should i look at every day? >> marcus opens book two of "meditations" with a thought. he said, "today, the people you meet will be jealous and stupid and annoying and obnoxious and mean." it goes on. he is preparing for the day
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ahead. right? and so some people think this is depressive stoicism at its best. but then he goes, but you can't hate them and you can't let them implicate you in ugliness. he says, because we are meant to work together. we are like two rows of teeth or two hands and that we are all a part of this large thing together, and some people are fulfilling their role by being the kind of people that you have to interview, and the rest of us are doing the best we can, and that is life. >> jordan: i love it. that is life. ryan holiday, everybody. be sure to check out "the daily stoic" website and podcast, and his latest book, "the daily dad," is available for preorder now. we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> jordan: that's our show for tonight and that's my time as you host this week. tune in next week for your host desi lydic! now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> the best way to get something done, if you hold it near and dear to you, that you would like to be able to -- anyway. i know some of you are even seeing whether or not you are going to qualify or whatever you have -- anyway. it is tough stuff. ♪ ♪ - ♪ mtv ♪ [rock music] ♪ ♪

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