♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show," i'm desi lydic and i am back for night 3 of hosting, baby! [cheers and applause] to all the female viewers, i want to say thank you. to all the male viewers, i want to say haha, you are watching a girl, so that makes you gay! we've got a great show for you tonight, jameela jamil is here! [cheers and applause] we've got a lot to talk about, so let's get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with tucker carlson, the world's most unemployed boat shoe. [boos] no one has heard from tucker since his surprise firing on monday, except the pillow he's been screaming into. and it turns out there may be a good reason for that.

fox news executives reportedly have a dossier of dirt on him. yeah... to keep him from attacking the network. that's right, they apparently have him saying the most vile things you can imagine and the way they compiled it -- and this is genius -- it's by turning on his television show and pressing record. [laughter and applause] very sneaky! let's move onto some breaking news. if you've been following florida politics, you are weird. [laughter] and also you know that ron desantis has been attacking the disney corporation for a year now ever since disney criticized his antigay bill and also because they used his image for quasimodo. [laughter and applause] dead ringer. now the fight has reached the courts. this morning disney sued ron desantis, accusing him of political retaliation.

[cheers and applause] good news. good news. which sounds bad, but if they really wanted to [bleep] him up they would -- as a parent, trust me, that can ruin your life. we don't talk about bruno, how about we don't talk about giving you up for adoption if you don't turn that off! let's move on to some entertainment news because it was just revealed that hugh grant will start as an opel them but in upcoming willy wonka movie kind of fun. kind of makes sense to have b12 be a british dude, have you ever going to beach with a british person? this is exactly what their skin looks like after an hour. i just want to say, as a woman, it's nice to see a man age out of sexy rolls for once. you know? [applause] it's only fair. this in, enjoy timothee chalamet while you can, girls, because one day he will be playing

gollum. i'd still hit that. let's move on to a lawsuit that is rocking the music world -- although it involves ed sheeran, so maybe not so much rocking as "keeping the music world entertained while shopping." sharon of course isn't just prince harry with a job, he's also one of the most successful singer songwriters in the world but now some people think that he got there by cheating. >> ed sheeran in court defending his grammy-winning hit "thinking out loud." sheeran is accused of copying one of marvin gaye's biggest hits. >> the family of ed townsend, marvin gaye's cowriter, accusing sheeran of copying the chord progression, rhythm and other elements of "let's get it on." here is sharon's hit. musical physical and marvin gaye's ♪ ♪

>> sheeran denies the allegation, his lawyers plan to defend numbers on that both songs are based on a common chord progression. >> i'm sorry, this is ridiculous. just because something sounds a little bit like something else it doesn't mean it was stolen on purpose. four score and seven years ago, you never would have seen a lawsuit like this. i have a dream that someday nuisance lawsuits will come to an end. luke, i am your father. if anyone should be suing at sheeran, it's elvis. hyman, stealing a black guy's music was his idea. that is copyright infringement! [applause] i don't know how this is all going to turn out but if ed sheeran was smart he would try to move this marvin gaye traveled to florida, they refused to acknowledge anything gaye there. [applause] and finally, some exciting news

out of the world of science. researchers are coming very close to answering one of mankind's biggest questions, where are the sharks boning. >> great white sharks are among the most famous fish in the sea but a key detail about their lives has remained a mystery. for centuries, researchers have been unable to find a place where they mate in the atlantic ocean. however, scientists may be on the verge of an answer. >> chris fisher founded o-search. they will soon hit their goal of 100 captures, tracking each one online. >> there's nonwhites or populations on the road and no one has ever identified a meeting site. >> with centuries of people on the ocean no one has ever document of this? because it's a 400 million-year-old secret, the ocean is not going to give it up easy. [laughter] >> desi: hold on, do sharks even have sex? i thought they just ejaculated on eggs like salmon or that denny's i don't go to anymore.

but still, this is a very important scientific discovery. if there's one thing i know about sharks, it's that if they stop [bleep], they died. oh wait, no, that's nick cannon i'm thinking of. [laughter and applause] for more on this research being done by scientists, we turn to michael kosta! [cheers and applause] michael, you are out there on the ocean with the research team, have you found the site yet? >> not yet. the sharks only go to the mating site and if they want to mate, so we have to wait until they reached sufficient levels of what scientists call shark horniness. we've tried getting the sharks mood by throwing rose petals into the water, playing some marvin gaye or ed sheeran -- no one can tell the difference -- but so far no luck. >> desi: what exactly is the scientific value of finding the shark mating site?

>> it's incredibly valuable. if we can find the part of the ocean where the great whites mate, then researchers can place a camera down there, and then... we get to watch. [laughter and applause] >> desi: for research purposes? >> not really. no, we just want to watch. ideally in one of those underwater cages just out of sight but they know we are th there. and once they really get going, if you turn your oxygen tank off at the exact right moment, then it really kicks it up a notch. >> desi: oh, my god, michael, that's gross. you guys only went there to watch the sharks have sex? >> well, not at first! but they are being so secretive about their mating site, that now we've got to see it. if they're hiding at that well, you know they're doing some real freaky shark shit down there.

plus the scientists told us -- i confirmed this is a real fact -- great white sharks have two penises. we've got to see how that works. >> desi: michael, this is completely, completely -- sorry, did you just say two penises? go on... >> i wish i could! i have some questions. do they use both at the same time or is one of them a spare? is one grower and one in shower? is it like twins were one of them is slightly better looking than the other? science needs to know! >> desi: or light can that shark rub them together while she watches? wait, sorry, god, no. [applause] kosta, we didn't send you to the ocean just to indulge some kink. >> how dare you. this isn't kinky, this is na nature. studying the cyclical patterns of these majestic apex predators

could unlock the evolutionary mysteries of the deep. >> desi: wow. you know what, i'm sorry. i totally underestimated your passion for this. you're right, this is very exciting buried >> hell yeah it's exciting, i am rock hard just thinking about it. i got a sperm whale that's about to surface. >> desi: michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] i'm telling hr. when we come back we will find out why kentucky isn't what it looks like. [cheers and applause] (♪♪)

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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." i live here in new york city but my heart and liver damage are from my home state of kentucky. thanks to mitch mcconnell and rand paul, kentucky doesn't have

the best reputation, so i wanted to show that there's a lot more than you think. take a look. >> kentucky and i have both changed a lot since my youth but unfortunately the changes the state currently faces can't be a result of accutane at 150 hours of community service. >> kentucky legislators asked one of the strictest anti-trans laws in the nation. >> house bill 300 would allow prosecutors to charge a woman with terminal homicide if she gets an abortion. >> police can't enforce any kind of federal ban on guns. banning gender affirming care. >> stifles free speech. >> make it stop! >> these bills are getting shoved through like a fried chicken sandwich in mcconnell's look. but do kentucky really feels like? >> absolutely not. >> could do things a lot better. >> it's like we are upon deaf ears. >> it's like a lot of straight white men, older men. >> i would say, and to mitch in particular, the vast majority of

american people are sick and tired of the guns. curdle-face. >> there's that southern hospitality i missed. but she's right, kentucky isn't happy with their lawmakers. statistics have shown a majority support access to abortion, background checks on guns -- so how is this happening? to get more insight i met a local journalist who is shining a spotlight on the politics happening in conservative states. >> there's only one way to have this conversation and that is over bourbon. >> so it's safe to say that a lot of these laws that are passing from stream legislators are not reflective of the values of the people of kentucky. >> we are seeing an extreme republican agenda because our legislators are governing like republicans, not like the 12 great you look at the laws being passed, they are the exact same ones being passed in florida, mississippi, so these are much different states with much different priorities but they

have the exact same agenda because the republicans in every state are just passing a list of things donald trump and other republicans like in their popular on fox news. >> let's just keep this point, i don't want to see this glass empty. where do we go from here? is there any solution? >> i think ultimately we have to, in the short term, shame them out of passing the most aggressive versions of these bills, criticize them enough to make sure that they are told when they go to church or when they go to the grocery store that you passed a terrible bill and acted like a bigot. >> are you sure that shane would work on kentucky republicans? took it rand paul, got my ass kicked in my front yard by my neighbor, i would never leave my house again. >> i'm not saying it's a foolproof plan but i'm seeing if these legislators have to walk in public and live their life, and i do think you want to make clear that you had done something terrible. >> it might be the drinks, but i have an idea. what if we made change through the power of song through

subliminal messages? we could write a country song. >> no one has tried that yet. >> we will sing it together. because we know how it goes. it goes ♪ here in kentucky ♪ ♪ we've got bourbon and horses ♪ ♪ and a woman's right to choose ♪ >> ♪ we have a great education ♪ ♪ well-funded and well supported public school ♪ >> this is so good. we've got to record this. >> with that being subliminal? >> the irony is that even as the kentucky legislature becomes more extreme, kentucky's edison's are trying to bring the state together, citizens like edward lee. >> award-winning chef founded the nonprofit seeking to increase diversity and equality in the restaurant industry. >> and he's achieving this on a national level as well. >> chef edward lee, he's been

invited to the white house to cook for the u.s. and south korea state dinner. >> when it comes to politics, he has a more a grassroots approach. because there are people in power here that have their agenda but there is some belief in me where you stand you fight the good fight and you build community and make sure that people do not feel marginalized, that people do not feel alone. that people do not feel like they're the only ones in this fight, and to me that is stronger than any political -- we have done dealers here where we have brought different groups at the table to sit down and talk things out. and i would say at the end of the dinner, you still disagree. the only difference is now you see the other person as a human being. >> do you think this level of humanity and kindness and outreach that you do could ever exist in the top, kentucky legislature? >> they come here for dinner, i could ask them. >> has mitch mcconnell? >> we don't serve and tell

buried we've been here 21 years. i will say this, everyone has been through here. >> how many times if you spit in his food? i waited tables for ten years. >> that is against everything i stand for! >> i know a thing or two about spitting and food. >> despite not take my advice, ed left me feeling hopeful, so i sobered up and hit the streets to see if other people shared his vision. >> you have to have hope, because otherwise you wake up you live in fear and that's not what we in kentucky do. we got up and we go to work and we take care of our families and we are good to our neighbors. >> when something bad happens, everyone rallies together and a good fight still continues on. >> we are the solution and we truly have got to be much more forceful and active. i think we can make it uncomfortable enough for those who are in charge of the voting, who are in charge of representing us. >> yeah, make him uncomfortable,

slip him some laxatives, he his car. put a bag of shit on his doorstep and light on fire. >> that would not achieve the goal i have. geico plus it takes all that time to shit in the bag and later on fire. thank you. >> do know where we can get some good bourbon around here? >> welcome at my house. >> lead the way! i will go with you. >> actually, you know, there -- >> i actually have spine picking up the tab, you said kentuckians are generous, right? >> desi: when we come back, jameela jamil will be joining me on the show, so don't go away! [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show"! my guest tonight as an actor, activist, and the host of the smartless media podcast "bad dates." please welcome jameela jamil! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ you look perfect! good lord! i mean... >> hi! >> desi: the fashion alone. i knew you'd be bringing the fashion. >> thank you! and i brought my little bag. is it weird that i bring my handbag on television? >> desi: you don't trust anybody. >> i think it is specifically like a woman of color thing or

we are just always ready for some sort of shit to go down. want to be prepared. >> desi: don't trust anyone. >> least of all you, babe. you're doing so wonderfully, i am loving you on the show. [cheers and applause] >> desi: i am loving you, i'm a huge fan of yours. you have any podcast out, "bad dates." it is so funny. you get the best guests and they come on and they tell these horrendous were state stories. >> yeah, so disgusting, it's unbelievable -- never listen to it with any of your children or your parents. or your parents. it is so filthy, it is so funny and it's not about traumatic bad dates, it's just about the silliest things we've ever done on the road to love or shacking or both. >> desi: you told a horrible date story buried >> the one that almost gave al rocher heart attack. >> desi: yeah, for the second time. you know, sorry. >> didn't know about the first one. >> desi: no, i totally made that up.

but it was a great -- it was a great story and has that guy ever come back? >> no, but everyone is looking for him. everyone is looking for him. he's a famous man. basically there was an incident where he -- oh god, it took three steps into my apartment, passed out, and had a seizure and all of his front teeth broke and flew across my apartment and i had to call 911, which is actually really exciting if you are english and you've seen it done in the movies. but i did that, the police come in and the ambulance on the fire brigade and everyone is trying to resuscitate him, they bring him back and they said have you taken anything and he's like yeah, i've had a little bit of cocaine, but i always take cocaine. and i was like -- and then they were like heavy taken anything else and he was like no and they start pulling the blanket over

his body and as they go past is penis, it gets rock-hard and he looks at me like bleeding with such regret and goes "i might have had some viagra." [laughter and applause] toothless and disgraced! >> desi: such a beautiful first date story. >> yeah, thank you. >> desi: this is -- >> is not james, it's not my boyfriend. >> desi: now they are together, they are in a healthy relationship, this is reason alone why they should start regulating erectile dysfunction vacations as much as they regulate the abortion pill. [cheers and applause] you won't say who it is. it was an actor, is it chris evans? >> it's not chris evans! >> desi: chris pine? >> he has had a beard ever since because he split his chin open that day and had loads of stitches so just look under the chins of all of your next few

guests. >> desi: there you go. my god buried him it is -- it is such a funny -- so you hear all these horrible bad date stories. if you could give a piece of advice to people who are out there dating right now, having heard all the stories, what would you say? >> anything is a dildo if you are brave enough. >> desi: i love that! cheers! cheers! [cheers and applause] thank you! thank you for the work that you do. it is so appreciated. "bad dates." we are going to read this together. "bad dates" is available on amazon music and wonder reflux jameela jamil, everybody! [cheers and applause] usable musical ♪ ♪

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: that's our show for tonight but before we go, please consider supporting super majority buried they are an organization dedicated to making women the most influential voting bloc in the country. if you'd like to help them build a community of organizers, please donate to the link below. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> [speaking non-english language] >> [speaking non-english language] [laughter] >> [speaking non-english language] ♪