his pulse is fine. looks like a minor concussion. let me see what i can do to relieve the swelling. [the eagles' "witchy woman" playing over radio] doctor? doctor? doctor? doctor, i think we're losing him. ♪ she got the moon in her eye ♪ [machine beeps rapidly] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america... it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> michael: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. this is my third night hosting and i'm really getting the hang of this! it's almost like i've worked here for years. now we have a great show for you tonight, so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's start in the middle east. the war is now in its second week and shows no sign of stopping. but today, president biden landed in israel to try to help out. he made it all the way down the stairs. mission accomplished already, off to a great start. and while he was there, he had some important advice for a country going to war in response to a terrorist attack. >> justice must be done. but i caution this, while you feel that rage, don't be consumed by it. after 9/11, there was rage in

the united states. we saw two custards and got justice, we also made mistakes. >> michael: wow. wise words from president biden. any time an american president admits a mistake, it is a big deal. so israel, please learn from us. don't stay in afghanistan for more than 20 years, tops. [applause] but biden is right. america made some serious mistakes after 9/11. iraq, guantanamo, frosted tips. by the way, i am sure his visit is appreciated, but as someone who has a parent roughly the same age as joe biden, sometimes when they fly in to help, it ends up being a little more of a bird or nonhealth. "don't mind me, i'm not even here! just write down all the steps for how to get hulu on the tv and i'll be fine. hey, i'm happy to do the laundry. just tell me where everything goes and where everything is."

that is kind of what i feel like it's going on right now. let's move onto domestic news and talk about the speaker race. the sonos won. meanwhile, in the congress of the united states, the house is having its own speaker race, and it continues to be an absolute disaster. >> the house remained speakerless. congressman jim jordan second bed to become speaker was defeated on the house floor. >> he lost some of the support he had of the first round. >> the people involved don't know what is going on. >> it is embarrassing. >> the biggest circle jerk and the history of circles. or jerks. >> michael: apparently, you can just say "circle jerk" on tv? what is next question for congressional leaders met today and what can best be described as a violent bukake. that's right, jim jordan lost 20 votes yesterday, spent all night meeting holdouts one-on-one, trying to win them over, and then lost by 22 votes this afternoon.

[cheers and applause] i crunched the numbers and it turns out 22 is more than 20. so he's doing even worse! so at this point, three republicans have tried and failed to get the votes for speaker with no end in sight. which is why now, there is a growing movement to address whether temporary speaker, patrick mchenry, keep the job. and he seems qualified. i mean, he is wearing a bow tie. a bow tie says a lot about a man. it says that every morning, he spends 20 minutes watching a youtube tutorial on how to tie a bow tie. and that's the kind of focus you want in a speaker. but more importantly, congressman mchenry is perfect for the job because he's already there. sometimes, you just gotta go with the guy who's already sitting in the chair. [cheers and applause]

i mean, why keep looking? he's not [bleep] up, he's maybe even kind of crushing it, some people are saying. [cheers and applause] maybe he doesn't have as many instagram followers as some of the other guest -- um, speaker candidates. but let's not overcomplicate things. he's right there. just give him the [bleep] job, all right? [cheers and applause] let's move on to a heartwarming story. new yorkers get a bad rap for not caring about strangers, and it's true. when tourists ask me for directions, i stab them. but thankfully, there's still good people out there. >> firefighters responding to a call about a serious blaze inside a manhattan high-rise. a new yorker is watching from an apartment down the street, can't believe his eyes. from a distance, he thinks he sees out-of-control flames. >> i called 911 and within minutes, the streets were echoing with fire engines.

>> but wait. those aren't real flames. [christmas music] it's the yule log video. turns out, the video was being played on a big screen tv, which made the illusion of a fire all the more real from that window. >> michael: oh, man, how embarrassing for that guy. especially after last week, when he called the police to report that sharknado. anyway, what a heartwarming story that cost the city a quarter of a million dollars. and it was nice to see this man looking out for his neighbor's safety. although, it did make me wonder why he was staring at this particular neighbor's window in the first place. >> it was ali lyon's apartment. >> michael: oh oh. i see what's going on here. go on. >> it was a rainy saturday and i had to work a little bit so i got my laptop, i made some tea, i put on some candles and the fireplace. >> howdy, neighbor. >> welcome!

>> "inside edition" brought the neighbors together. >> so this is where the fire happens? i was having a cup of tea at my window. >> oh, that's nice. i was having a cup of tea here. >> yeah. >> the one thing she's learned? >> i really do need to get curtains now. >> michael: yeah, you do. and maybe some pepper spray while you're at it. for more on this yule log and/or possible stalker story, we go live to midtown manhattan with our very own desi lydic. [cheers and applause] desi, wait, are you actually in that lady's apartment? >> oh, no, i'm at my place. it's crazy. i've got a "dangerous fire" in here too. just, you know, waiting for a super tall european snack to come rescue me. >> michael: but that guy who saw the fire was looking into her apartment. that is creepy. >> kosta come over you not

listening to me? he is tall. i mean, did you see him? he's like if timothee chalamet took his vitamins. >> michael: but if a guy's basically stalking you through his window, that's not someone you want to date. >> no, that's not someone you want to date. but for me, this guy's got the two most important quality is. he's interested in me, and his apartment has a window. [cheers and applause] did you see that guy? he's like if timothee chalamet, had a window. >> michael: look, even if you're into the idea of a guy noticing you from his apartment, it's just not practical. this was a one-off incident, guys don't just stare into random windows looking for fires. you'd be better off thinking about -- >> excuse me, little lady, i thought i saw a fire. >> jackpot! [cheers and applause] he is tall. >> michael: i can't wait for

the wedding. desi lydic, everybody! we're gonna take a quick break. when we come back, i save the planet. you don't want to miss it. [cheers and applause]

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>> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." let's talk about water. it's the thing you hope you just sat in on the subway. according to "doctors," we're supposed to drink water basically every day. and in america, most of us do that with the help of these. the number one packaged drink in the united states isn't coke, or gatorade, or even haterade -- it's bottled water. we americans buy 50 billion disposable water bottles a year. and i know what you're thinking! "ugh, not another depressing environment story. can i not even drink water without ruining my children's future?" but that's the thing: this is one environment story that actually has a really easy solution. and i'm going to tell you what it is, in another installment of "long story short." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] for most of human history, people got by fine without

bottled water. people got water from their well, or the local stream, or by throwing a virgin into a volcano so it would rain. it was a perfect system. but water bottle started to become popular in the '80s maybe for health reasons. in 1986, the epa warned americans that their tap water might be turning them into number 2 pencils. this might sound familiar to you if you grew up in the '80s, or in jackson, mississippi, last week. and then, marketers smelled money, and soon, bottled water wasn't just about health, but a whole healthy, sexual lifestyle. ♪ ♪ >> keep your body at its peak. drink evian. pure evian spring water from the french alps. >> it's refreshing, it's natural, and it doesn't have one single calorie. >> imported perrier. >> it goes with good food. >> it's what i drink instead of

a cocktail. >> michael: "it's what i drink instead of a cocktail!" sure, bud, you can just say you've got duis. we've all got duis, okay? look, props to these water companies -- they turned water into something sexy, as opposed to something you just need to survive. these ads were basically like, ♪ ♪ "oxygen. it really helps me lay pipe." [cheers and applause] thank you. so, fast forward to today, and the average american drinks upwards of 167 bottles a year. usually, right before a long-haul flight, when i'm in the aisle seat. hey, just be an adult and wear a diaper like the rest of us! now you might be asking, where does all that water come from? the ocean? nope, i tried that once. i got so sick.

in reality, in order to get bottled water to the masses, water companies like nestle, often suck up water from public lands for little to no cost. isn't that awesome? we love it when multinational conglomerates find success. the problem is, this creates a massive environmental impact. and when these companies are called out for it, they come up with explanations like this. >> nelson switzer is nestle water's chief sustainability officer. some people would say this is the people's water. is it fair that you guys make so much money off of it? >> nestle has water rights of course in this area. from a legal standpoint, of course, it's fair. from a perception standpoint, i understand why people are asking that question, but water belongs to no one. >> michael: oh, really, nestle? water belongs to no one? that's the dumbest thing anyone has ever said about water, and keep in mind gwyneth paltrow once said that you can hurt water's feelings by yelling at it. if water really belongs to no one, then why the can't i go

swimming in my neighbor eric's koi pond? why did it "scare his kids" per the police report? [cheers and applause] but sucking up all the fresh water is just the beginning of our problems. making the bottles and shipping them to you uses 17 million barrels of oil a year. that is enough oil to fill 1 million cars for a whole year or grease up don jr. for one weekend. plus, most bottles just get thrown in the trash. "oh, but i recycle it." thanks for putting it in the green bin before they send it to malaysia where they put it in the trash there. and the stupidest part is, it is totally almost unnecessary. the majority of the country has access to safe, free tapwater. we're transporting a product from 3,000 miles away that we can get from our kitchens. in fact, most of the bottled water we drink is literally tap water, including aquafina and dasani. that's right! dasani just takes tap water, adds fart smell to it, and

that's how they make dasani. and maybe you buy natural spring water because it's healthier, but it turns out, not always! in fact, a study of fiji water found that it has more arsenic than tapwater from cleveland. and you thought bottled water was safer? turns out, it is slowly poisoning you like a wife on "dateline." so considering that tap water is good enough for the vast majority of us, the solution to the huge environmental problems of bottled water is obvious: boom! problem solved. [cheers and applause] using a refillable water bottle cuts down on fossil fuels, creates less waste, and could even save you $16,000 over its lifetime. that's enough to pay for a luxury vacation, or 16 shitty vacations. so long story short, this is like the easiest choice in the

history of no-brainers. if everyone in the u.s. just went with reusable water bottles, we'd save money and solve an environmental crisis. and the best part of that is that it's one less environmental crisis you'd have to hear people like me bitching about. you probably already have nine of these. open a cabinet in your kitchen and one will fall on you. and tomorrow, start using it! that is how you save the planet. [cheers and applause] all right, when we come back, the incredible singer rhiannon giddens will be joining me on the show. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an award-winning singer, composer, and instrumentalist whose new album is called "you're the one." please welcome rhiannon giddens! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ thank you for coming on. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ they're great. they're great. thank you for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> michael: thank you for chatting with us. you are a macarthur genius award winner, grammy winner, pulitzer prize winner. [cheers and applause] you studied opera in college but this is what really got me. you write all of your music with the banjo? [laughter] >> i write a lot of my music with the banjo. banjo and voice and fiddle and whatever instrument i have

around, yeah. >> michael: this album is a little more playful? is that a good word to use? >> totally. >> michael: than your previous albums. was that an obvious choice for you? >> yeah, i mean, for the last 15 years, i have been that girl on a party on the friday night that you back away from. [laughter] man, she's going to talk about slavery or the banjo or both and i am just like, really not into this. i was kind of getting burned out. i just needed to change things up and i have the songs that i have been writing over 14 years, and just wanted to explore the other sides of my artistry. >> michael: the song you are going to sing, "another wasted life," you have teamed up with the pennsylvania innocence project. tell me how this story inspired you. >> this was a few years ago and i heard about the story of kalief browder who was an innocent teenager incarcerated for three years and two of those were in solitary confinement,

which is horrific, and when he was released, finally exonerated because he was innocent -- i keep repeating that -- he could not really readjust to the outside world and he committed suicide. yes. i was just like, i couldn't contain my anger at the waste of this young man's life, what we don't get of him, so i wrote this song, i put it away. and then when this album came around, the idea of this, i was like, this needs to be a centerpiece of this because this is what i actually do, this has been really fun, but "another wasted life" is what i do. so we reach out to the pennsylvania innocence project because it a huge problem. people aren't aware of how many innocent men are sitting in jail, men and women, sitting behind bars because somebody wanted to close the case, wrong place, wrong time, witnesses telling, you know, being intimidated and telling lies. >> michael: it is so easy to just forget about. >> this is it. >> michael: the video is extremely powerful and we are so thankful. you are going to perform the song for us.

thank you for being with us. it is wonderful to talk to you. you are an inspiration for everybody. [cheers and applause] "you're the one" is available now. stick around for a special performance after the break. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

[swords clanging] [yipping] [rumbling] [rumbling] [explosions] [whooshing] [crashing] ♪ “nautilus" by anna meredith ♪ [swords clanging] [yipping] [music builds and fades] [distant crashing nears] [swords clanging] [music resumes] ♪ ♪ ♪ you gotta frank it up frank it up! frank it up! yeah! it's the perfect blend of flavor and heat i put that $#!t on everything ♪ dramatic music ♪ [flight attendant alert] [baby crying] [snoring] [luggage rattling] [baby crying] ♪ dramatic music ♪

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experience the redesigned serta perfect sleeper. >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." now to perform "another wasted life," please welcome back rhiannon giddens. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> ♪ another day, another youth ♪

♪ another story-mangled truth ♪ ♪ the commentary uncouth and full of cloudy grease ♪ ♪ it's a torture of the soul ♪ ♪ the narrow confines of control ♪ ♪ thrown down the stinking hole with no hope of release ♪ ♪ it's just another wasted life ♪ ♪ it's just another wasted life ♪

♪ it's just another wasted life ♪ ♪ it's just another wasted life ♪ >> ♪ where do i place my faith ♪ ♪ where do i step that's safe ♪ ♪ come out the house where i'm surrounded ♪ ♪ looking for peace ♪ ♪ as pieces fall in their place ♪ ♪ follow the eyes, the lies ♪ ♪ i'm drowning ♪ ♪ ice on my shoulder ♪ ♪ cries get crowded ♪ ♪ everyday crisis ♪ ♪ i'm way too enticed with how they're gonna remember my name ♪ ♪ i want to grow up and know that my kin can love the skin ♪ ♪ that they're in ♪ ♪ no need to pretend ♪ ♪ the man in the mirror's relentless ♪ ♪ hand on my heart my ♪ ♪ spirit's convinced ♪ ♪ the candle goes dark and light gets hard to resist ♪ ♪ words merge like creole, please don't pardon my french ♪ ♪ time is what i worry about ♪ ♪ not what i got on my wrist ♪ ♪ god on my side ♪ ♪ i guard my uncommon sense ♪ ♪ i calm myself through song ♪ ♪ we grew up relying on this ♪ ♪ all of my idols are dead, but truth gets saved through time ♪ ♪ as long as we say their names that's no wasted life ♪ >> ♪ another day, another