decemberists (singing): when we arrive, sons-- jeb: ooh, this is nine acre worm farm. this is a beast. whoever is managing this thing is going to have a hell of a job. not it. fannie: not it. dwight schrute: it. if your kid doesn't put in some farm time, he's going to stay like that. fannie: all right, fine. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america... it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, charlamagne tha god! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> charlamagne: hey! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, charlamagne tha god. hello! [cheers and applause] that's right. now, you probably remember me as the host of the other comedy central show "god's honest truth." and if you don't remember, well, that's probably why it got canceled. yeah, you should have watched. but i am super excited to be here! [cheers and applause] we've got a great show for you tonight, so let's get into some headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with some major updates from the 2024 election. in the republican race, former vice president mike pence announced that he is ending his campaign. [audience reacts] that's right. mike pence dropped out to spend more time in a separate bedroom from his wife.

i will say, is it really ending your campaign when your campaign never got off the ground to begin with? it's like turning down sex when you have erectile dysfunction. the choice was made for you, my guy. i'll be honest, i feel bad for mike pence. his shot at the white house was over the moment he decided to do the right thing and not to overturn the election. he had to get the same people -- that's right. [applause] he had to get the same people who wanted to hang him to hire him. i mean, for a guy so christian, mike pence gets [bleep] a lot. but republicans deciding they don't want to run against donald trump after all is not a surprise. what is a surprise is that there's finally a democrat running against joe biden. >> president joe biden is facing a challenge from a member of his own party. democratic congressman dean phillips of minnesota has entered the 2024 race for the white house. >> i think president biden has done a spectacular job for our country. but it's not about the past. there is an election about the

future. >> phillips, a 54-year-old former business executive, believes president biden is on pace to lose to former president donald trump and needs to be challenged for the democratic nomination. >> i am the democratic candidate who can win, who can win the 2024 election. so i say, our time is now. and i say -- and let's say it all together -- what's my slogan? one, two, three, "everyone's invited!" >> charlamagne: listen, you can't do a call and response on day one of your campaign. no one knows what your slogan is! because what do i always say? on the count of three. one, two, three.... that's right. you don't know what i always say, because it's my first [bleep] day. now a lot of democrats are upset

that someone is challenging joe biden. which is weird, because they're always talking about how democracy is in peril. and then they say, this guy is running too, and they say, we don't meet mean democracy like that. i think it is good that someone is running against biden. even if you support biden, you should want him to get some practice in the ring. because so far, outside of trump, biden's toughest opponent has been gravity. yeah, yeah. we should be glad biden is getting challenged, okay? i don't know if this is the guy, though. the first time i hear about you shouldn't be when you're running for the highest office in the land. sure, trump didn't have political experience, but at least i saw him on tv. i don't need dean phillips to be a celebrity but he should at least go on one episode of "naked and afraid" before he throws his hat in the ring. now, the reason dean phillips is the only serious democrat running against joe biden is that the bigger names are staying out. like gavin newsom, governor of california and dollar store "american psycho." a lot of people think he would be a good candidate. and after what happened with him on a trip to china yesterday, i

would definitely want to see him run. >> the "los angeles times" says california governor gavin newsom visited china, where he fouled out during a photo op with some kids. newsom stopped by a school basketball court in beijing friday. while demonstrating his skills, he stumbled and knocked down a student. newsom and the boy ended up on the ground, though neither appeared to be hurt. >> charlamagne: that's right! [laughter and applause] finally, a democrat is getting tough on china! okay? newsom took that kid down like, "that's for covid, bitch! and it is bad enough he ran through that kid's chest but did they have to make that the new cover of "nba2k"? you know what i'm really thinking? how is this guy worse at basketball than chinese people? i'm sorry. who are your three favorite chinese basketball players?

let's move on to congress. because the democrats aren't the only party not giving the people what they want. last week, republicans decided that the new speaker of the house would be mike johnson, louisiana congressman. i don't know who the [bleep] he is either. no one had ever heard of the guy before he became speaker, but since then we've been learning a lot about him. especially what his favorite book is. >> johnson's religion is the cornerstone of his politics. >> go pick up a bible off your shelf and read it. that's -- that's my worldview. >> in a facebook post just last year, johnson argued biblical beliefs couldn't be separated from public affairs, a sentiment he's long championed. >> before entering congress, johnson did legal work for a creationist museum, and has said the bible depicts "actual historical events." >> you once worked for the alliance defense fund, a christian advocacy group. >> yes. >> and comments you had made, both in writing and advocacy for this group about homosexuality, calling it sinful, destructive, and not supporting gay marriage -- quote -- "no clear right to sodomy in the constitution."

>> charlamagne: i mean, yeah. it would have been weird if they'd put sodomy in the constitution, right? "so there's going to be three branches of government, no king, and we're all cool with butt stuff." the constitution never would have been finished if they spent all that time specifying what was and wasn't allowed. "okay, section 17, where do we stand on rim jobs?" and just to be clear, there's no right to sodomy in the constitution, but there is a clause, you can get it on your birthday. the point is, the new speaker of the house is a hardcore christian whose worldview is just "the bible." and it is funny to me how how only christian politicians are allowed to do that. if ilhan omar was like, "yeah, my views are basically everything in the quran," even muslims would be like, "hell no." for more on speaker mike johnson,

let's go live to the u.s. capitol with michael kosta. [cheers and applause] >> that's right. >> charlamagne: now michael, what do you think of the new speaker being such a bible believer? >> oh, it's great news, charlamagne. until now, the house has been a dysfunctional mess of gridlock and infighting. but when you introduce religion into a conflict, it gets fixed right away. >> charlamagne: but what if mike johnson tries to force his religious beliefs into law? >> would that be so bad? the bible's rules are timeless and always relevant. like, right here, shellfish must be banned as detestable abomination. great idea. the only good part of lobster was the butter anyway. we should just be drinking the hot butter. or what about this:

god tells ezekiel to bake bread over a fire made of dry human dung. yeah, poop. that could be the clean energy america needs! well, not that clean, but renewable! and after a tummy full of hot butter, i'm basically a power plant. or what about this? the menstruating woman is unclean and the righteous man shall not approach her. let's try it, america! >> charlamagne: michael, come on, seriously? shunning women from society during their menstrual cycles sounds backward as hell. >> calm down, it's just during their period. that's like, what, 20, 30 minutes? it'll be done with respect. and i'm sure mike johnson has talked all about these bible-based policies already. >> charlamagne: actually, no, i don't think he's ever talked about any of these weird laws you're talking about. >> [laughs] come on, man, mike johnson wouldn't just pick and choose the parts of the bible he liked

best. that would be hypocritical. gosh, charlamagne, for a guy named "tha god," you don't know a lot about christianity. no, we can expect mike johnson to push for all these laws, and i can't wait for first samuel chapter 18, where david has to bring 200 foreskins to king saul, as a dowry to marry the princess. >> charlamagne: why are you looking forward to that? >> well, because i've been collecting foreskins. okay? just in case american law returns to its biblical roots and allows me to trade them for a wife. >> charlamagne: where does one collect foreskins? how many foreskins are in that bag? >> let's just say, if 200 foreskins get you a princess, i'm gonna be mr. taylor swift. >> charlamagne: disgusting,

man. [cheers and applause] michael kosta, everybody. when we come back, i found out what your most unexpected political opinion is. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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>> charlamagne: welcome back to "the daily show." now, people say i'm a contrarian, but i disagree! also, i bet a lot of people have opinions you wouldn't expect. so i went out on the streets and asked them. ♪ ♪ that's right. i am outside, hitting the streets of new york to see people's political curtains match their political drapes. let's see new york. how do you describe yourself politically? >> liberal. >> charlamagne: liberal. >> absolutely. to be when you are wearing a day a denim trench coat which is pretty liberal. when people see you, what do you think they see politically? >> probably a literal. >> politically, more democrat. noted for -- >> charlamagne: how do you feel about paying taxes question were >> don't like it. >> charlamagne: sounds like you are republican? >> what do you think people see politically. >> south asian, immigrant. so i think they do have a stereotype. but then i went to a

historically african american college. >> charlamagne: where? >> in jersey. >> charlamagne: there is a lot of black people there. >> it's not an hbcu but i have more relationship with african americans. >> charlamagne: some of your best friends are black. >> yeah, yeah. >> charlamagne: we did find some some books that match their cover. >> i'm a registered republican. >> charlamagne: some of them we could not get a read on. >> i originally supported ted cruz -- >> charlamagne: damn, you are a ted cruz guy? i didn't know there was ever a ted cruz guy. >> politically, i would describe myself as conservative. >> charlamagne: when people see you, what do you think they see political? >> liberal, i live in new york, construction worker. >> charlamagne: construction worker, classic progressive job. when people see you, what do you think they are politically? >> democrat, liberal. i am always dressed down to the agenda. big city, you know, liberal agenda. >> charlamagne: what is the

big city liberal agenda? >> abortion on demand. >> charlamagne: abortion on demand? >> i think we should promote policies that support life, you know? >> charlamagne: you've never had the wrong person pregnant? damn. there's got to be a at least one republican talking point that you agree with. at least conspiracy theories. >> i can think of anything specific. pizzagate. >> charlamagne: putting little kids, the topping on pizzas? >> i never heard about that. >> charlamagne: what about? >> i don't know. >> charlamagne: what about this book? come on, caroline. >> oh, god. yeah. [laughs] >> charlamagne: see. you agree. maybe they couldn't get turned on to the opposition's politics but they could get turned on by the politicians. >> charlamagne: what democrat are y'all unexpected the attracted to? >> barack obama. love him. >> that is true. i agree with that answer. >> i think vivek. he is pretty good looking.

>> charlamagne: what republican are you unexpected the attracted to? >> what is his name, call thorn in the wheelchair? is unfortunately a good looking man. >> charlamagne: what democrat are you unexpected the attracted to? >> attracted to. i am not saying aoc. if you want me to say aoc, i'm not saying aoc. >> charlamagne: i don't know anything about aoc. >> -- >> charlamagne: you want to say alexandria -- >> no, no. it's aoc. >> charlamagne: right republican are you unexpectedly attracted to? >> marjorie taylor greene? >> charlamagne: whoa. i was not expected that. >> me neither. [laughs] i am not afraid of, you know, women's bodies. >> charlamagne: but what do people see when they looked at a handsome, successful, intellectual black man? what you think my political views are? >> i think conservative. >> charlamagne: really? >> i know you are a little more conservative. >> charlamagne: wow. i am learning some things about

myself. >> i would say more of a conservative. >> charlamagne: jesus christ! what the hell is going on today? what do you think my political views are? >> i mean, it is not like i don't know you -- i know kind of what your political views are. >> charlamagne: are you a fan? >> i am not a fan, no. >> charlamagne: what you think my views are politically? >> i have no idea. i have no idea. because looks are deceiving. you just look like a respectable man that is taking care of himself, going about his business. >> charlamagne: thank you for not stereotyping me. [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: when we come back, representative nancy mace will be joining me on the show, so don't you go anywhere. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] my guests >> charlamagne: >> charlamagne: welcome back to "the daily show"! my guest tonight is from my home state of south carolina. please welcome nancy mace! [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: happy to have you here. >> it is an honor. your first night, debut hosting "the daily show." it is awesome. >> charlamagne: absolutely. fun fact, me and nancy went to the same high school. >> yes. >> charlamagne: high school. and our mothers taught there at the same time. >> the same time. and we both -- >> charlamagne: nancy dropped out. >> i dropped out before you did.

>> charlamagne: i got kicked out. that was the second high school i got kicked out of in south carolina. >> i was a trailblazer, i did it before you. [cheers and applause] love this guy. love him. we met was backstage at a >> charlamagne: the first time we met was backstage at a dave chappelle and chris rock's comedy show in north charleston, south carolina. somebody snapped this picture. when i walked back there, y'all was in a heated debate kind of. >> yeah, we were drinking tequila. there was tequila involved. did you partake? >> charlamagne: i did have some tequila. >> we were doing shots of tequila, for better or worse. we were having a political debate. basically, from my recollection, dave chappelle's message was that republicans need to read the room. my message is, every politician, democrat or republican, need to read the room because they are not paying attention to the people. and the people are the ones that elected them to office. that is what we have to be doing today. >> charlamagne: do you fee prejudged in a way just because you were introduced as a conservative? he just obviously assumed what you are about? >> a little bit. i am not your typical

republican. i would say, not typical conservative. when i agree with my party, i support them. when i disagree, i call my party out and i do it over and over and over again. i would say i have a different flavor of republicanism. >> charlamagne: you voted kevin mccarthy out but the g.o.p. said they got it out for you know. >> i bet they do. folks can go to nancymace.org and support me because they are coming after me. i got one of the insiders, one of the establishment insiders booted out of the speaker's office and got someone who is not bought and paid for by washington. i voted with the people in that. >> charlamagne: will mike johnson have any real power? because kevin mccarthy had none. >> i would say that kevin mccarthy -- we've got a guy today who is going to be honest. he is going to be trustworthy. and he is going to tell the truth. and i would much rather have a guy -- [laughter] i would rather have a guy that i might vehemently disagree with but is going to be trustworthy. i will tell you, one thing i

will share, with the other guy, the former speaker, yes was maybe and maybe was no. i learned the hard way on that. >> charlamagne: people are saying you are on the short list to be trump's vp. after seeing what happened to mike pence, someone who, you know, was once claimed the future of the g.o.p. by s.e. cupp, is being trump's running mate worth it? >> i have not been asked yet and my focus is now on south carolina, as it always will be. i understand why people might be talking about, i do a lot for women's issues and republicans lost women last year. but my focus today, as it always will be, i love the low country where you and i grew up, and that is where my focus is. >> charlamagne: is it intriguing? >> i think it's intriguing. it's interesting. i think it's a conversation we need to have because i want my little girl to know that she can be president one day. and i want to see republicans put women on the ticket, vice president, presidential. i want to see that happen because i want little girls everywhere to know, they too can be president. i think it is an important conversation to have but so are too a lot of other conversations.

>> charlamagne: you are one heart attack away if you were his vp. >> would you like that? [laughs] >> charlamagne: just saying. republicans want to impeach biden for corruption and bribery. do you think that is valid? is it a tit for tat because of the two times that trump was impeach? >> i can tell you, the former speaker went to conservatives a few months ago and said, we are definitely impeaching joe biden and then he went to house moderates the same day, two hours later and said, we are never going to impeach joe biden. that should not be the answer. that is not leadership. what we should do is follow the facts, follow the truth, and then come to a decision at the right time, once we have had a due process, once we have shown evidence, whether or not an impeachment is warranted. that is what the american people want. that is what they deserve. that is what we should do. i do believe the new speaker will follow due process. he's a constitutional attorney. but won't make that decision in haste. it should be made when it is warranted. >> charlamagne: you don't think that's a waste of time with

everything else going on? >> well -- corruption is a real problem in this country. and i have seen bank accounts -- [audience reacts] it is! it is! i have seen bank accounts of the president's grandchildren with money directly from communist china. that should not be happening in our country and it should be exposed for every american to see, and then decide whether or not that's okay. whether there is an impeachment or not, i want people to see the evidence that i have seen and make decision for themselves. >> charlamagne: do you believe the evidence against donald trump? >> which evidence? [audience reacts] >> charlamagne: all -- exactly. >> what are we talking about? >> charlamagne: all the evidence. pick one of the 91 charges. >> which -- which indictment? i mean, which one? >> charlamagne: there is a lot of them. let's just say georgia. >> georgia, that would be the election fraud. i -- i haven't seen the evidence yet. >> charlamagne: [laughs] [audience reacts] >> i haven't seen it! there will be a trial and everyone is allowed -- again, i do a lot of civil-rights work and everyone is allowed due process under the law. if they are found guilty, they

take responsibility for that. but i haven't seen evidence to show that he is guilty of that. there are a lot of people around him that did a lot of things. there is that sidney powell that took, like, a database, a voter database maybe, and i don't know. so -- [audience reacts] [laughter] >> charlamagne: congresswoman nancy mace, ladies and gentlemen. >> thank you! >> charlamagne: we will take a quick break. we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ something unexpected has arrived from experian. a debit card. the all-new experian smart money™ debit card

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with lybalvi. once-daily prescription lybalvi is proven to treat manic or mixed episodes of bipolar 1 in adults to help you push back. elderly patients with dementia have an increased risk of death or stroke. do not take lybalvi if you are taking opioids or are in opioid withdrawal. the samidorphan in lybalvi can cause severe opioid withdrawal that can lead to hospitalization or increase risk of life-threatening overdose. get emergency help if you have trouble breathing, become very drowsy with slowed or shallow breathing, or feel faint, very dizzy, or confused; or if you have fever, stiff muscles, confusion, rash, swollen glands, or problems with your liver, kidneys, heart, or lungs. other serious side effects may include high cholesterol, weight gain, potentially fatal high blood sugar, uncontrolled body movements, which may be permanent, dizziness upon standing, or falls. are you ready to push back against bipolar 1? ask your doctor if lybalvi is right for you. [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: that's our show for tonight, but before we go: please consider donating to

mental wealth alliance. they help de-stigmatize mental health in black communities and make treatment more accessible and effective for people in those communities. if you can, please donate at the link below. now here it is. your "moment of zen." >> former congressman and a friend of mine who has been incredible, billy long. you know billy? his wife barbara here, wherever you may become ability billy. wherever you may be. he is the greatest auctioneer. he can do things with his tongue, you wouldn't believe it. thank you, - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪