isn't that kind of the point? [music playing] [music - bruce springsteen, "rosalita"] rosalita, jump a little higher. se orita, come sit by my fire. i just want to be your lover, ain't no liar. rosalita, you're my stone desire. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america... it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, charlamagne tha god! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> charlamagne: hey! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, charlamagne tha god. hello! [cheers and applause] happy halloween, everyone! as you can see, i'm dressed as the scariest thing there is: an intelligent black man with an opinion. [cheers and applause] that's right. we've got a great show for you tonight. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with a big problem facing new york city right now, mr. met started an onlyfans. i had no idea his balls had balls. but there's another issue that's even more of a crisis for new york: the influx of migrants. every week, thousands are arriving in the city, and now, mayor eric adams is taking a break from the club to figure out what to do with them. >> mayor eric adams is now

looking for new shelter locations, including outdoor spaces and tents and other temporary shelters. now the mayor says the city is just out of room. city officials say they are trying to re-ticket and encourage migrants to go elsewhere. the mayor says he wants to convene a roundtable discussion with city officials, the public, and even the media. at this point, he says if anyone has any better ideas of what they can do and ideas he says he wants to hear them. >> if you have good ideas for us on how to manage the situation, i am begging for your ideas. >> charlamagne: no, no. our ideas? that's not how this works! our idea was to elect you to handle this! imagine a doctor asking, hmm, what do you think your kidneys need? now, i get crowdsourcing for fun stuff like, "who should be on a new stamp?" or "what should the state flower be?" but you're asking random people

from staten island and the bronx for ideas on how to handle immigrants? that's not gonna end well! eric adams has new yorkers all wrong. new yorkers give you opinions, not ideas. it's always "[bleep] you, asshole!" it's never "signal before you turn next time, asshole." what bugs me is, eric adams was very progressive on an immigration when it wasn't a problem in new york. when it was only texas dealing with it, he was likable we need to open our hearts to the migrants. now that they are coming to new york, he's like "build the wall!" what it all comes down to is, a lot of people are progressive in theory until they get tested. half the people who want to abolish the police come at the moment they get robbed, they are calling 911, like, send me your most racist cop. but let's move on to a different challenge facing america: artificial intelligence. it's the reason it's so much easier to do your kid's homework these days. but now joe biden is trying to put a stop to that. >> president biden has issued a first, an executive order

setting standards on artificial intelligence. the sweeping order includes a number of requirements. homeland security will look at the risk, including chemical and nuclear risks, and the threat to the privacy of americans. >> ai devices are being used to deceive people. deepfakes use ai-generated audio and video to smear reputations, speak or spread fake news, and commit fraud. with ai, fraudsters taking three seconds -- and you all know this -- three second recordings of your voice, i have watched one of me on a couple of occasions! i said, "when the hell did i say that?" [laughter] >> charlamagne: to be fair, joe biden says that about real videos of himself. i feel sorry for biden. he's too old to have to learn about ai. some poor intern had to explain all this to him. biden was like, "so, you're telling me, one day this thing's gonna take over the whole world?" and the intern was like, "no, sir, that's a printer." and i'll tell you guys what i think: i'm against ai.

there's just too much risk with it. the lines between truth and lies are already blurred, and now ai is gonna blow it out of the water. obliterate reality totally. right now, anyone can make a video of a world leader saying anything. you know how i know? because, we did it, joe? >> have you seen any of this ai? this shit is all over the internet. solve one the other day. it was like, [bleep] me. i haven't seen that. hell, maybe ai should take over the planet. can't do worse job than me or trump. he is falling apart. he's catching up with me but shit, at least i'm not a fascist [bleep] boy. [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: finally, let's mmove on from a president to someone who is never going to be president. ron desantis. since he started campaigning, people started noticing that he's got something weird going on with his boots, and now he's

being called out for it. >> i'm sure your marketing team points out how they're trying to troll you in the marketplace. i've seen you walk with these boots. go ahead and play this clip. this on tiktok went viral. this thing's got 1.2 million likes. and some people are wondering -- >> i don't even know. i haven't seen that. >> they have not shown this to you. >> no. >> okay, what they're trying to say with this is that in your boots you have heels. >> no, no, no. those are just standard, off the rack lou casey boots. >> how tall are you. how tall are you, governor? >> 5'11". >> 5'11", okay. why don't you wear tennis shoes? and dress shoes? >> i do wear tennis shoes when i work out. you do. okay. >> charlamagne: you know your campaign is going terribly wrong when people only want to talk about your shoes. "yeah, yeah we'll get to israel-palestine in a second. first, what the [bleep] is up with those boots, bro?" look, coming at this as a short person, i can't relate to this type of insecurity. it's actually the opposite for me. i hate tall for no reason ass people.

like, why are you 6'6" and not in the nba? what a waste. we need a short president anyway. people talk about napoleon complexes. yeah, well, that guy ruled the entire continent. abraham lincoln was tall. and he got shot in the head. so you tell me who is more successful. but at least now i know why desantis is in that huge fight with disney. it's not because of wokeness. it's because you have to be this tall to ride the magic teacups. [cheers and applause] so the question is, does it matter if a presidential candidate is tall or not? to debate the issue, let's go live to ronny chieng and troy iwata! [cheers and applause] my guy ronny, what's your take on ron desantis using lifts? >> i think it's pathetic, charlamagne. ron desantis needs to stop trying to pretend that he's one of us naturally tall guys.

>> charlamagne: ronny, what the hell are you doing, man? are you on stilts or something? >> no, i've always been this tall. people just think i'm short because i'm sweet and soft spoken. but i'm actually 6'8". hey, don't just take my word for it, you can measure me any time. but not now. >> charlamagne: all right, man, whatever. troy, do you agree that ron desantis is being pathetic? >> no, i actually think it's great. ron desantis is finally accepting gender-affirming care. because ron doesn't feel like his outside matches his inside. he sees himself as a big strong boy, even though he's a little munchkin with itty bitty legs like a wiener dog. >> yo, it's not great, troy. he don't have the mental strength to be president if he's so insecure that he fakes being taller in such an obvious way. but i understand. not everybody can be as naturally tall as me. >> charlmagne: ronny,

please knock it off. i saw you yesterday! you grew, like, a foot since then! come on. >> i got a good night's sleep. it is called a growth spurt. >> actually, charlamagne, there's a long list of presidents who've done similar things to hide that they were shorties: lincoln wore a big hat, fdr put that blanket over his little legs. jimmy carter is short, but that didn't matter since he is hung as a [bleep]. >> charlamagne, i am also hung as [bleep]. but i don't care, i'm already confident, because i'm 6'9." >> charlamagne: see, you said you are 6'8", ronny. >> yeah, but i grew a little during this report. it is natural. >> you know what the real tragedy is, if desantis had been a bit nicer to drag queens, they could have helped him pull off those heels and he could end up serving some serious [bleep]. you know, not just that. they could have contoured his nose, found him a barber that is sent for revenge. >> yeah, or they could help him fake being tall better.

[coughing] >> charlamagne: ronny, are you sitting on someone's shoulders? >> no. my -- my coat has covid. >> charlamagne: all right. someone get ronny off that guy. please, come on. ronny and troy, everybody. when we come back, we'll find out a way to raise your home's value. so don't go anywhere. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: welcome back to "the daily show." tonight is halloween, so we had michael kosta investigate one of the scariest places in america: the real estate market. check it out. >> after record highs during the covid era, u.s. housing sales have reached their lowest point since the 2008 recession. rising interest rates and low inventory are forcing realtors like santa fe's suzanne taylor to represent properties that are less than desirable. >> there was very little inventory here. we get a lot of homes that have been completely torn apart. you know, animal feces in the living room, just nasty type of properties that have just been left to rot. >> and some of these santa fe homes also present another unique challenge. >> so basically, people do

believe in ghosts in santa fe. there is just a certain energy, a certain vibe that people get. you >> you are saying santa fe has more ghosts than other cities? >> yeah, it does. i can observe it, especially on an open house. >> unsurprising income and open house mixing desperate, vulnerable buyers and the level and spirits can spell trouble. >> when they walk into a living room, or the bedroom -- >> someone walks into a bedroom and they start going -- >> they don't get crazy like not. but what they do -- >> like -- >> a lot more subtle. >> more like -- >> they walk in and they walk right past the room. they don't want to spend any time minutes. >> of these distressed, feces, and go to investor properties could be a tough sell. but luckily, suzanne has a solution. >> i physically cleaned up as possibly good as i can and then when everyone is out of the house, then i call jane. >> that jane is this jane.

paranormal investigator and psychic medium, jane phillips. >> used to be a mortgage lender. what i do now is paranormal energy clearance for primarily the real estate industry. >> terrifying. >> yeah, it is. i have never been scratched or bitten or any of those movie things. >> talking about mortgage lending or ghost busting? >> ghost button. >> because i have put in and scratch my mortgage lender with his interest rates. >> and jane's energy clearing services can address almost any inexplicable issue. >> you might feel like the hair on the back of your neck go up when you walk in the house and you go, i don't know what is here. you might have something called a poltergeist. you might find an energetic connection from an alien group. so there are all these emotional energies that get dumped in a place. maybe there was a drunk person in it or there was a death in a property. >> what are you picking up with me? how is my ghost energy? >> well, i had to do a little

clearing. >> you cleared me already? >> corrects. >> don't you need my consent to do that? >> that is a question i get all the time, and the answer is, no, because i wanted us to have a good interaction. >> that is not creepy at all. >> no, it isn't. >> with my last bit of skepticism exorcised, i was ready to join jane on how the session. >> generally, when i start in the house, i start right at the entrance way. i just checked, is there anything in this closet? and there is something. >> there is something in this closet? >> it is kind of like an elf energy, sitting with his legs -- >> there is an elf? >> yeah. we are removing the energy. >> obviously. >> yeah, we've cleared the closet. >> piece, bitch. >> i am just going to go -- i hate this hallway. can i turn the light on? >> why doesn't the light turn on? >> there is a lot of energy that

is coming through this way. >> does that mean someone was murdered in one of these rooms? >> it has nothing to do with murder. this just feels like i am being prevented from going in. i have to go in any way, even though i feel like i am being prevented. so i am walking in. all right, and i am -- >> all right. so i don't necessarily feel the same. >> no -- >> i don't love this. >> it is thick in here. there is a little boy in here. he wants his mommy come he is saying. >> who is that? is that a ghost? >> that is the toilet. don't be growling at me. this energy does not want to go to the light. it doesn't live there. it lives in the dark. >> i would say, murder. >> nope. >> okay. [creepy noises] >> i haven't done that before.

i used to be really embarrassed doing this in front of people. >> why would you be embarrassed? [unintelligible noises] >> this house is [bleep] up. >> it doesn't look it was [bleep] up. >> no. >> in the end, there is only one thing that matters, the results. >> it always helps. i have seen jane's works, warehouse was sitting there and no one wanted anything to do it when they walked in the door. i have her come in and do a clearing and i get a contract within a week. >> wow. >> she is fantastic. >> jane's efforts for getting homes sold may be unorthodox, but given the frightening insanity of the american housing market, involving the supernatural isn't that unreasonable. and may even give us a little bit of hope. >> a lot of americans are worried they could never and for their own house, but what you are saying is, once we are done, we will all be homeowners. i am going to haunt a condo in miami beach. >> that is not really how it works. >> well, we don't really know, do we? ♪ ♪

>> charlamagne: thank you, michael. when we come back, ceo rich paul will be joining me on the show. so don't you go anywhere. [cheers and applause] sam adams boston lager now brighter? heh. a brighter boston. ♪ take the parking spot! you take the parking spot! i insist! no, i insist! boston lager. now brighter.

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announcer: try tide power pods with 85% more tide in every pod. who needs that much more tide? everyone's gonna need more tide. it's a mess out there. that's why there's 85% more tide in every power pod. -see? -ah. [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the ceo and founder of klutch sports group, which represents some of the biggest athletes in professional sports. he's here to talk about his "new york times" bestseller, "lucky me: a memoir of changing the odds." please welcome ceo rich paul! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

how are you doing, my brother? >> i am great. >> charlamagne: big ceo energy. >> always, have to have that. >> charlamagne: let me read some of these stats. klutch sports negotiated $900 million worth of contracts this summer. you've got $4 billion in contracts total. you've got a performance sportswear brand and partnership with new balance and "lucky me" is now a "new york times" best seller, man. amazing. [cheers and applause] when are you going to learn how to spell "clutch"? >> that is how you spell klutch. >> charlamagne: klutch? >> yes. knowledge, longevity, understanding, trust, communication, and honesty. >> charlamagne: okay. [cheers and applause] that is good. how did you come up with that? >> you know, when i was thinking about the company and the name for the company, what you need to be in sports, you need to

have the clutch gene and be clutch. but then i also flipped it and said, you actually needed to be in life, you needed to be clutch. now, with my partnership with new balance, little twist to it because the new athlete is all you guys are athletes. you are an athlete, your wife is an athlete. so from that perspective, it is aimed across the humanity of the athlete and also just the regular person who happens to cover the field every day and what they do in their life every day. >> charlamagne: what do you mean by when you say we are athletes? >> you cover ground. you did "the breakfast club this morning, "the daily show," et cetera. your wife covers the ground at home. >> charlamagne: what the hell you know about my wife, rich? >> because i hear you talk about her all the time. i don't know. [laughter] i am just telling you. but that person is, kindness never hurts, love is never wasted. unity starts with you. trust makes it possible. community is a mentality. and honesty keeps it real. >> charlamagne: damn!

[cheers and applause] when did you start making acronyms? >> i'm a writer. >> charlamagne: i saw you recently on "club shay shay." >> it was fun. to be when you were on their lying. >> i did not live. >> role the clip. >> i will say this. laugh if you want to. even still until this day. if i was at the top, guys like me, steph, klay. >> klay who? >> klay thompson. >> if you're just talking shooting, this is a class i am in. >> charlamagne: who is the bigger liar? you or lebron? [laughter] >> well, here is the thing. here is the thing. first of all, i am not lying. as a friend of mine, charlamagne, you should not say that on national tv. because i am not -- >> charlamagne: i have no

proof to back up you can shoot like steph. >> that is why you should not say i am lying. >> charlamagne: [laughs] >> here is the point i'm trying to make. >> charlamagne: okay. >> he asked a specific question. i gave a specific answer and the keyword -- if this was a word problem, shannon would have failed, he would've gotten it wrong. "shooting." i didn't say playing. i did not say accolades. i said shooting. so the point i'm trying to make is, if you want to shoot jump shots with me, you have to be a pro. >> charlamagne: so a game of horse? >> no. meaning, we put five spots on the court. from each spot, in order to beat me, you have to be 8 out of 10 from each spot to beat me. to pretty much tie me if i am shooting it really well. >> charlamagne: what have you done to prove this, rich? where's the tape? there has to be tape of something. >> do you want some names you can call? >> charlamagne: who? >> call kevin hart. >> charlamagne: okay. i can call kevin. >> called drake. >> charlamagne: i can't call drake. >> don't call drake. you are the last person calling drake.

[laughter] call kevin durant. >> charlamagne: that's the first athlete you named, by the way. [laughter] >> wait a minute. i am not done. call lebron. you can call him. >> charlamagne: he is going to lie for you! >> he would not lie for me, he would lie with me if i was lying. >> charlamagne: you admit you were lying. >> if i was lying. we are not of that position. i don't have to lie. >> charlamagne: do you have the memes of lebron -- >> i laugh at lebron all day. we are in a group chat, it is hilarious. seriously, the point i'm trying to make is, it is very difficult for a civilian, nonprofessional athlete, to shoot. >> charlamagne: you just called all of us athletes. now -- now we are civilians. >> that is nonprofessional athletes. i'm serious. so shannon, he don't understand it, but we are going to have -- he got to pay to see it. i don't do stuff for free like that. >> charlamagne: [laughs] rich paul, ladies and gentlemen. "lucky me" is available now. we are going to take a quick

break. we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ the first time you connected your godaddy website and your store was also the first time you realized... well, we can do anything. cheesecake cookies? the chookie! manage all your sales from one place with a partner that always puts you first. (we did it) start today at godaddy.com

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travis kelce! two championship rings! seven consecutive thousand-yard seasons. you're brian halsey! zero debt, perfect payment history. i worship you man. you do? it's all the experian smart money™ debit card. it has a digital checking account that can build credit without the debt. i use mine for everything! -me too! -no way! ah man. -i'll see ya man. -yeah bye. the debit card that builds credit. get your experian smart money™ account through the free app. >> charlamagne: hey! that's our show for tonight, but before we go: please consider donating to black and missing. they bring awareness to missing persons of color, provide vital resources to their families and

friends, and educate the minority community on personal safety. if you can, please donate to the link below. now here it is. your moment of zen. >> hello, everyone! happy halloween! >> happy halloween. i look ridiculous. >> good afternoon. i am james howard. yes, i am james howard. >> high, i am news anchor barbie. >> i am a roller blade barbie. >> hi, barbie. >> hi, barbie. >> hi, can. >> hi, barbie. >> i am a barbie girl in a barbie world. >> i am very well aware we are doing what everyone else is ♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ goin' down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪