can someone please help me? oh, these teas are hot. can someone help me please? thanks. yeah. ok. just, just. people, i'm not going anywhere. soon, my core will get strong again. and when that happens, i'll be able-- head rush! ugh! can someone please help me? i-- hey, i'm not going anywhere. i'll be right here. oh, that's not good. hey, guys, i've got twenty bucks for anyone who will help me. kevin, would you like a pizza? ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america... it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and jordan klepper! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> jordan: and i'm jordan klepper. we're co-hosting the night [cheers and applause] and of course, it is the night before thanksgiving, so that can only mean one thing. >> desi: neither of us wanted to see our families. >> jordan: bingo. we've got a great show, so let's get into headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: let's kick things off with some news about cryptocurrency. historically, it is the best investment if you are looking to have your money stolen by a guy whose mattress is 100% for sure on the floor. but now, there's one less place for americans to trade it. >> this morning, another major blow to the cryptocurrency industry as the leader of the world's largest crypto exchange pleads guilty to multiple u.s. violations, including money laundering.

the feds accuse binance and its ceo changpeng zhao, of processing more than 100,000 transactions by child abusers, cyber criminals, and even terrorists. changpeng zhao has agreed to pay more than $4 billion in fines and step down as ceo and binance will no longer do business within the u.s. >> desi: what? no. you are telling me that crypto guy was shady? >> jordan: the crypto guy was shady? >> desi: so we are. he was so nice when he sold me the weapons on the black market! >> jordan: i was shocked. you know, there is that one thing that you always say. >> desi: that's right. the one thing. what is it? oh! everyone in crypto is shady! have you ever talked to someone who is into crypto and thought to yourself, "wow, what an upstanding human citizen! i definitely would prefer talking to them rather than shooting myself in the face."

but yes, binance is going to have to shut down in the u.s., which could jeopardize any american who has money they're. to be fair, if you are a noncriminal fluids lost money in this, that is on you. because at this point, investing in crypto is like playing r. kelly at your wedding. you should know it's not a good choice. >> jordan: desi, i got to say, i saw this coming from a mile away. i knew this company sounded fishy from the moment i heard its name. >> desi: the name "binance" alone, it sounds like a 4-year-old trying to say "finance." >> jordan: it sounds like a woke economics course at oberlin. "i haven't really picked a currency. i'm more binancial." >> desi: basically a guy with a fake moustache trying to get away with something. "are you guys doing finance?" "what, no? we do... binance. with shmoney." >> jordan: no thank you. i'm going to leave my money in the real banks were nothing bad

ever happens. moving onto president biden. polls show that he is not doing well with young people, who find him "sus," "mid" and deficient in rizz. all words i, a young person, know quite well.. but biden is probably hoping a new policy might win them back. >> the biden administration wants to eliminate so-called cord cutting fees. it would be done through a new proposed rule from the fcc, which would require cable and satellite tv operators to get rid of those early termination fees for subscribers. the agency says those fees really limit a customer's ability to choose the service they want. >> jordan: whoa, whoa, whoa. >> desi: whoa, whoa, whoa. >> jordan: so biden ants to make it easier for people to cancel cable? >> desi: this is a bad idea. and i am not just saying that because we are on cable. >> jordan: no, absolutely not. you are saying it because cable is the lifeblood of the american experience. cable is about family,

tradition -- >> desi: the bible. the constitution. >> jordan: 401(k)s for the on-air hosts, you know? we get that, right? >> desi: we do. >> jordan: nice. speedy one these fees are essential. >> jordan: may be double. >> desi: or canceling cable should be illegal. may be the death penalty. is that too much? >> jordan: not too much. asked me what i don't even think we should talk about it right now. >> jordan: i don't think we should talk about it either. [laughter] >> desi: let's move on to some public safety move. recent studies showing that women are more likely to be hurt in car crashes. and jordan, the reason is obvious. >> desi: women are bad drivers -- >> desi: sexism. >> jordan: it is what you said. it is sexism. >> desi: yeah, sexism. and now the auto industry is finally starting to do something about it. >> when it comes to designing crash test dummies, researchers

say it is time to get smarter. >> this is the average female. >> engineers in sweden have developed a dummy based on a woman's body. >> more narrow shoulder area and a wider hip area. >> it's also lighter and has a lower center of gravity. all things experts say are important to consider when testing collisions at high speeds. >> desi: ow, what a surprise, the cars are designed to be safe for crash test dummies, and the dummies are designed to represent men's bodies. although, to be fair, it is not just the dummies. the study also revealed that right before a crash, men tense up while women usually whisper "sorry, sorry, sorry." i will say, i am glad they are finally making changes to the dummies, but if we were worried about accuracy, let's go all the way with this. why not fill the car with half eaten take-out containers and a hockey stick that was left in the back seat for the last three months, no matter how many times

you told him to bring it in the [bleep] house. let's see what happens when that hits a wall at 60 miles an hour! sorry, jordan, it's been a tough week. >> jordan: yeah, no worries. thanks again for driving me to hockey practice. >> desi: no problem. so thanks to the scientist spirit and congrats on designing a mannequin that men won't dream about having sex with. >> jordan: right, right... totally, totally, totally, totally. so spot on. spot on. spot on. spot on. can we move on, please? >> desi: yeah, yeah. >> jordan: the holidays are coming up but that means the start of a decades-old tradition. desi and i went on location to watch it happen. america has had its share of wars but fox news has been tracking one forever war in particular. >> it's the war on christmas. >> the war on christmas. >> the war on christmas. >> jordan: and there is no end on site. >> now it feels like the war on christmas is coming earlier and earlier every year. >> desi: so we came to the

fox news all-american christmas tree lighting show to talk to people about how they are surviving the war on christmas. >> i don't feel like there is a war on christmas. i think if there was a war on christmas, christmas would won. >> desi: are you familiar with the war on christmas? >> i have heard on but i don't think it is actually a thing. >> jordan: are you serious? people can't say merry christmas anymore question or >> desi: if i say merry christmas to my neighbor ten times in a row, he looks at me like i am crazy. do you think of this tree lighting ceremony is so much smaller this year because fox lost so much money in the dominion lawsuit? >> that is very possible but i haven't put a lot of thought into it. >> jordan: are you at all worried that there will not be any tree lighting ceremony next year? >> not really. >> jordan: how will people know it is christmas outside of those christmas decorations and those christmas decorations? >> desi: the rockefeller -- >> jordan: those trees over there. >> desi: there is a santa appeared. >> jordan: finally, we spoke to civilians who have experienced the nog of war.

>> there is a war on christmas. >> i think there is. >> jordan: if i were to say happy holidays, how would you feel? >> i might correct you. people talk about saying happy holidays, fox is really proud about saying merry christmas. they say there is a war on christmas. >> there is. >> jordan: there is a war on christmas? >> look around you. look at the businesses. look at the corporations that have not allowed them to say that. i think that people are scared to speak up about their christianity, about their faith. >> desi: sure, there is a war on christmas and a group facing there was vitriol for sure are christians. >> i think that's true. >> jordan: questions specifically? >> yes. >> jordan: right now? >> right now. >> desi: is defending christmas enough to get on santa's nice list or to saint nick reconsider when fox news hosts say things like this? >> i want to say something about arab-americans. we have had it with them. >> desi: so naughty or nice, someone had fox news it says, we have had it with them, referencing arabs in general?

jesse watters? >> it is pretty, you know -- >> jordan: used to stuff. >> i have it mugged. >> jordan: you've been mugged. has led to an irrational fear that you project and into an entire group of people. >> yeah, so. >> jordan: we've got "the five" peer judge you, naughty or nice? >> nice. >> jordan: she sees the world. that lady knows her way around -- >> exactly. >> desi: a bar. >> jordan: naughty or nice, fox news? >> nice. >> nice. >> jordan: what about when they lied to the american people about the election results? >> that is not. >> desi: that is naughty. we can acknowledge that is not. >> jordan: overall, fox news? >> nice. >> we all make mistakes they are co>> jordan: who hasn't part of the entire nation's trusted democracy? >> desi: or 91. >> jordan: we finally arrived at the moment to declare mission accomplished on the war on christmas.

>> three, two, one! [cheers and applause] >> desi: happy holidays! merry christmas! until next year. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: when we come back, we'll get a report from john leguizamo. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪what i want, you've got it♪ ♪might be hard to handle♪

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>> desi: welcome back. ever since we've opened up our desk here at the show to guest hosts, we've discovered that not all people are terrible. so now we're inviting some of our new not-terrible friends back, in a new segment we call, "in my opinion." [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> hey! what's up, what's up, everybody! i am john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] and yo, it's great to be back at "the daily show" for two reasons. one, you guys got the best snacks. and yeah, i could buy my own snacks, but they taste way better when they're free. except for that dried seaweed things taste always tastes like

a flounder's butthole. but more importantly, i came back because something is pissing me off. >> univision facing growing backlash after giving donald trump the royal treatment. last week, the network hosted a very friendly hour-long exclusive interview with trump at his son-in-law, jared kushner, helped arrange. >> ay, dios [bleep] mio! [cheers and applause] i don't know what is more shocking, that univision gave trump a softball interview or that trump let a latin guy into his house? how did that happen? did he think he was there to mow the lawn? but yeah, journalist enrique acevedo interviewed donald trump for univision. now, for decades, univision has been the channel that latinos have trusted for news, whether it's news about the world, or news about a sexy lady miner willing to go up against the most powerful woman in town, for amor. and don't get me wrong. there is nothing wrong with

univision interviewing trump. in fact, i thought it would be a dope opportunity to confront him on his hard-line anti-latino policies. but instead of an interview worthy of univision, we saw this caca. >> the "new york times"/ siena poll came out this week. it has you with 42% of latino voters' support. that's unprecedented for a republican candidate. what do you think the message voters are sending with these numbers? it's at 42%, like i was saying, unprecedented for a republican candidate. why do you think voters are responding to your message? you think the border is now more secure because of that relationship and the partnership you've been able to build with mexico? more and more latinos are identifying themselves as conservatives. why do you think that is? >> wait, wait. i'm sorry. i'm sorry, but those are your questions to the guy who might be the next president? "mr. trump, why are you so

beloved by the latino community?" i was asked liking this guy's follow-up question... "is it true that to look upon your penis would be like, i don't know, gazing into the very face of god? i mean, how big is it? i mean just tell me when to stop. tell me when to stop. and just to be clear, we latinos are not a monolith. there are some of us that do support trump. in my family we refer to him as "the uncle who doesn't get invited to thanksgiving." but that's just my house. but as a news organization for the latino community, univision has a responsibility to fully report what a second trump presidency could mean for them. and the truth is that that shit is mad scary. >> we have learned so much more about trump's proposal for a 2025 agenda, particularly when it comes to immigration. the plan would essentially call for building detention camps, for migrants who are rounded up around the country to be held at

until they are deported. this is an extreme escalation from what we saw in 2016. >> among his promises, mass deportations, ending birthright citizenship, and denying entry to legal immigrants based on their ideological beliefs. >> we will begin the largest domestic deportation operation in american history. >> nobody has any idea where these people are coming from, and we know they come from prisons. we know they come from mental institutions and insane asylums. we know they're terrorists. it's poisoning the blood of our country. [boos] >> wait, wait. latino immigrants are poisoning the blood of our country? [bleep], what are you talking about? your blood is 99% big mac. also, also, did he really say immigrants are coming from insane asylums? that's not what getting granted asylum means! moron! [applause] and by the way, birthright

citizenship is in the constitution, just so you know. and i know most republicans stop reading after the second amendment, but stick around because that 14th, that shit gets good! [applause] so the question is, why would univision avoid asking trump about the radical 2025 agenda? and more disturbingly, why did the network cancel ads for the biden campaign that were sent to run during the interview? [boos] oh, yeah. and why did it cancel a separate interview it had planned with biden's hispanic media director? [boos] i mean, canceling opposing views is bad enough, but canceling ad revenue? that is downright un-american. and i don't know all the answers. but maybe it has something to do with univision's new co-ceo

bernardo gomez being close friends with jared kushner, trump's son-in-law? and the only man with the skin of a flour tortilla. look, i don't know. i'm just asking the tough questions, unlike univision's interviewer. the point is, though, univision has got to come back to its core values. i am not saying that they shouldn't have trump on the air. i'm just saying it, if you do decide to sit down with a lying insurrectionist who wants to bring down internment camps like it it's freaking 1942, you might want to pointed out in the interview. [cheers and applause] okay? because there needs to be honest journalism and parity. the latino community needs you to step up because the stakes for us in 2024 are too damn high. you need to expose the truth. and not just about trump. but also about how leonardo's

evil madre is sabotaging his forbidden love with emilia, "arrastrate por el suelo mi amor!" [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jordan: i was with you the whole time. john leguizamo, everybody. [cheers and applause] we'll be right back with congressman jeff jackson. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] welcome to autozone. what are you working on today? my car's starting kinda slow. let's see... ♪ just needs a charge. it's free. are you sure it's free? positive.

♪get in the zone, autozone♪ ♪ o reese's trees, o reese's trees ♪ ♪ there's chocolate on your branches. ♪ ♪ and peanut butter in your trunk, ♪ ♪ that's how all trees should be. ♪ ♪ i'd like to eat you right now... ♪ ♪ and a bag of reese's trees. ♪ oops! wrong song.

with boost infinite, get iphone 15 pro with titanium and save up to 40% on your monthly bill. transcend to a wireless utopia and experience america's smart network. with unparalleled coverage from three of the nation's top wireless networks. no trade-in needed to get iphone 15 pro with titanium on us. save up to 40% on your monthly bill and enjoy the latest iphone every year with unlimited wireless. [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." >> jordan: our guest tonight is a former prosecutor and veteran serving his first term in congress. he represents north carolina's

14th congressional district and he's running for attorney general in north carolina. >> desi: please welcome democratic representative jeff jackson! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] hot crowd! >> jordan: hot crowd! hot crowd! >> desi: congressman jackson, thank you for being here. >> thank you! >> desi: so excited to have you. you are an incredibly successful politician, but most people know you from your tiktok videos. [cheers and applause] you do these incredible explainers that distill down pretty complex issues in a really clear, digestible way. is the intent to simplify these issues for people and get that engagement? or are you really just posting foot pics?

>> every consultant in d.c. told me to go the foot direction. i said, that's not what i'm about. i'm a kitchen table guy. >> jordan: right. >> i have a kitchen table. i put a camera on the other side. i look into it, i say, here's the most interesting thing that happened to me in congress this week. then i post it to a bunch of different social media platforms. i have been really surprised by the level of interest in this political environment, where everyone is yelling at each other all the time, to be able to speak in a normal tone of voice and try to convey some of the complexity and some of the nuance. that there would be broader interest for that, i think is really encouraging. i think it is a good sign. >> jordan: i want to talk about the people you work with. you called out on your famous tiktok videos that a lot of the people in congress, you sense, are faking this outrage. what we are seeing at home is essentially a bunch of people faking it. who would you put on blast? who are you talking about? >> desi: does it rhyme with "shmarjorie shmaylor shreene?"

[cheers and applause] >> all i will say it is this, it is not george santos. >> jordan: he's not faking it? >> never a false word from that gentleman. i'll tell you this. i have been in committees and i have watched when the camera turns on, people's personalities change completely, right before your eyes. it is because they are playing a very specific game to try and get the attention of a very specific group of people, and it's awful and exhausting. most of the people up there aren't playing that game. the people we get getting served up, they are playing the outrage olympics every day. that is how they treat their job in congress as the daily tryouts for the outrage olympics. >> jordan: i find it interesting because you have found this success. you don't seem like the outrage kind of guy. >> desi: you always seem like you are at an even five.

what does boil your blood? does anything get you going? >> outright political corruption. for example, my state, north carolina, a horrible history with gerrymandering. gerrymandering is just letting politicians draw their own districts because when you do that, they are all going to cheat. my party, when my party had the ability to draw the districts in north carolina, they always cheated. when i was in the state legislature, the first bill i ever filed was to end gerrymandering and they sent it to a committee that hasn't met in 20 years. we can't let politicians draw their own districts because they screw the voters every single time. no more gerrymandering across the entire country. [cheers and applause] >> desi: give it up for representative jackson. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: we will take a quick break but we will be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: that's our show for tonight. >> jordan: tune in next week when michelle wolf takes over the desk. here it is, your "moment of zen." >> take a look at outside. these are all the people who have come through on their way to their own families to have a little quality time too. a lot of people outside. come back over here. someone with a kid. get some time for the kids. we are feeling very grateful and thankful for everyone. >> no one is doing anything disgusting. >> it is nice families. >> and times square. th ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪

♪ going down to south park ♪