i just think we need to cool things down for a while. yeah, a break-- at least until i get back to nashua. yeah, i'm sure. look at where you're going to be doing the cartwheel. so look where you're going to be placing your hand. so pick a spot. mm-hm. - you ready to do this? - yes, sir. i'm gonna stay here as long as it takes. i really appreciate that, boss. i'm gonna spot you. gonna spot you. go. i did it! you did? the perfect cartwheel. [laughs] ok, good. what a rush. that's all i had to do all year. congratulations. all right. well, all right, see you tomorrow. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, jordan klepper! [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm jordan klepper. we've got so much to talk about tonight. president biden joins the maga movement, conservatives are totally not mad about taylor swift, and john leguizamo is here! so let's get into another installment of "indecision 2024!" ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] we are now just 53 days away from the election, and the candidates are pulling out all the stops to build out their coalitions. on the republican side, donald trump has been flying around the country with far-right internet troll laura loomer, a 9/11 conspiracy theorist who trump brought to a 9/11 ceremony yesterday. a 9/11 truther at a 9/11 ceremony? is that like an atheist going to

easter mass? "well, i don't believe in any of this, but as long as you guys are having fun!" and if you want an idea of just how extreme loomer is, marjorie taylor greene is calling her out for being racist. and not even in a "stop stealing my bit!" kind of way. i didn't even know there was a level of racist above marjorie taylor greene. it's like finding out a movie can be rated nc-39. meanwhile, on the democratic side, kamala harris is basking in the endorsement of taylor swift, who posted her support to her 283 million instagram followers this week. [cheers and applause] which i'm sure the conservatives are taking it well. >> i'm allowed to criticize taylor swift. and i don't give a shit who gets upset. this is disgusting. if she wants to vote harris-walz, she can do it all she wants, but to say the reason

she's doing it is because of tim walz's stance on lgbtq? f you, taylor swift! [audience reacts] >> jordan: well, i guess i'll find someone else to go with me to the eras tour. maybe i'll just rip them up. who cares. [audience reacts] they are easy. just buy them on stubhub, guys. i'm sure not all conservatives are as mad as megyn kelly. in fact, some of them went to great lengths to reassure themselves that taylor swift's opinions just don't matter. >> we admire taylor swift's music, but i don't think most americans, whether they like her music, are fans of hers or not, are going to be influenced by a billionaire celebrity who i think is fundamentally disconnected from the interests and the problems of most americans. >> jordan: "yeah, could you imagine people relating to a celebrity billionaire? someone who's been on "time" magazine, or hosted

"snl," or been in a kanye west music video? i can't imagine anybody being impressed with that! i'm j.d. vance and i have no sense of irony." so who else in the right-wing ecosphere is completely unbothered by the taylor endorsement? >> here is the thing. who cares? okay? i buy music, or i go to a movie, because i like what the actor, his acting, or i like this singer. i don't give a damn what you think politically. you are not going to move me one way or another. what makes you think that the way you think should influence other people? you sing for a living. just deal with that. >> jordan: okay, okay! a little harsh but judge jeanine pirro has standards. she's not going to be impressed by some celebrity taking a political stance. that's not something that's going to excite her, ever. >> the rock is delivering a smack down on the biden

campaign. >> jordan: okay! you know, look, you really expect judge jeanine to remember what she said four months ago? i'm pretty sure she's had a pacific ocean amount of white wine since then. you know what, it's honestly exhausting trying to keep up with the right wing media's spinning and its lies. if you were paying attention yesterday, you probably saw this picture of joe biden where he's wearing a trump 2024 hat. and a bunch of trump fans called himsenile and demented, which was mean and also a weird thing to say to a guy for wearing your candidate's hat. but i want to show you what actually happened in that moment, because dare i say, it was a moment of actual fun, and when was the last time this campaign gave us something fun? >> they're eating the dogs!

[cheers and applause] >> jordan: okay, okay. all right, aside from that. yesterday, joe biden was at an event honoring the first responders on september 11th, and several people at the event were wearing trump shirts. which, frankly, is a cool thing about america. nobody in russia is meeting vladimir putin wearing a navalny shirt. you know? if they do, they're not leaving through the door. so joe biden not only didn't throw anybody out a window, he approached a man wearing a trump hat, and the two of them kind of hit it off. >> presidential hat, presidential seal on it. >> you want to autograph it? >> sure, i'll autograph it. >> you remember your name? >> i don't remember my name. i'm slow. >> you're an old fart. >> i'm a little slow. >> you're an old fart. >> yeah, i know, man. i'm an old guy. >> [laughs] you're an old fart, right? >> yeah, i know. you wouldn't know about that. >> what?

>> about being old. >> oh, i know. >> jordan: okay. that's sort of a nice moment. two old men from opposite sides, coming together to share a laugh while neither of them run for president. and then it got even better! >> there you go, man, i got -- i need that hat. >> you want my autograph? >> hell no. >> you know my name. >> put it on, put it on! >> come on. >> i ain't going that far. >> yeah, you said -- >> there it goes. [cheers] [cheers and applause] >> jordan: i will tell you what, i will tell you what, if you ask me, this is what you want from the president of the united states when he meets a voter on the other side. he doesn't get mad at him, he doesn't try to hard-sell him, he just shows warmth and a bit of empathy. and they did a remarkable thing you don't see among two people on opposite sides these days:

they had a laugh. and with a simple exchange of hats, they are able to share something much more meaningful: lice. itchy, disgusting, impossible-to-get-rid-of lice. and that warms my dead heart. for some more analysis on this moment with joe biden and a trump supporter, we turn to michael kosta. [cheers and applause] michael. i got to say, i thought this was a beautiful display of unity. >> i couldn't agree more, jordan. president biden showed us that we can put our differences aside and find joy in our common humanity. it's made me think that perhaps you and i could learn from this. and maybe we, too, could put aside our hatred of each other. >> jordan: i don't think we hate each other. >> of course we do, shit-head. everyone knows about our rivalry.

you're from michigan. i'm from the better part of michigan. i'm a hot guy in his 40s. you're a guy in his 40s. i've got a forehead. you've got a five-head. >> jordan: okay, easy. this five-head packs a mean head-butt. thank you very much. >> the point is, perhaps we can learn something from president biden and that maga guy that looked just like you. let's make peace. >> jordan: you know what, kosta, that is a nice idea. as a matter of fact, i have my lucky kalamazoo college hat right here. and i know you didn't go to kalamazoo, but in the spirit of unity, will you wear it? >> wow. you know, i actually got into k-zoo, but my parents told me never to settle. but today, yes, i will wear your beloved hat. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: i love it. i will tell you, that means a lot to me. thank you, thank you. >> and in return, i'd like for you to wear my hat.

>> jordan: i love that. you know what, i'd be honored. >> here it is. >> jordan: you know what, i -- kind of thought it would be a college hat. not a cowboy hat that says "boobs" on it. >> this hat represents everything i believe in. and if you truly share my commitment to unity, you'll wear it. >> jordan: well, if it's for unity... >> oh, wait, i almost forgot. you have to wear the rat tail that goes alongwith it. >> jordan: why does a cowboy hat have a rat tail? >> it's a family heirloom, it kept my great-grandfather warm during the ice age. >> jordan: okay, no. your great-grandfather did not use this to keep himself warm during the ice age. >> yeah, he did. "ice age 4: continental drift." the theater was freezing that day. >> jordan: you know what, fine. i will put it in. [cheers and applause] frankly, it's starting to feel like you're [bleep] with me. >> how dare you insult my serious attempt to cross the partisan divide. you can make it up to me by

putting on this lobster bib. >> jordan: i mean, okay. >> [laughs] >> jordan: look, i gave you a normal hat and you are trying to make me look like an idiot. i don't think that is fair. >> you know what, you're right. in the spirit of common ground, i should wear the dumbest thing i own. okay, so here it is. here is my commemorative "jordan klepper will wear anything" lobster bib. [applause] >> jordan: how did you even make that? >> don't worry about it. let's look into the camera for a photo op. >> jordan: thank you, michael. when we come back, john leguizamo will be joining us, so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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so here with another installment of "in my opinion " is our good friend, john leguizamo. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> yo, yo, yo! what's up, everybody? [cheers and applause] it's john leguizamo here. look, in two short months, america is going to be deciding whether to elect kamala harris, its first woman, or donald trump, its grossest man. and i'm here because you know how they say every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings? well, anytime donald says anything racist about a latino, a handsome colombian guy goes on "the daily show." [cheers and applause] rawr! and if you watched the debate this week, you know trump said a lot of shit about latinos and immigration, even when he wasn't being asked about immigration. >> when it comes to the economy,

do you believe americans are better off than they were four years ago? >>veillions of people pouring into our country, from prisons and jails, from mental institutions and insane asylums. they are dangerous. they are the highest level of criminality, and we have to get them out. we have to get them out fast. >> oh, great answer about the economy, asshole. you really nailed it. it's like this dude has immigration tourette's or something. "do you want fries with that, sir?" "you know what i don't want is immigrants eating our beautiful cats and dogs." these days, republicans aren't just stoking fears about immigrants committing crimes and eating our pets. they're saying immigrants are sneaking into american elections. >> republican leaders are now calling on congress to pass what they're calling an election integrity bill. >> the safeguard american voter

eligibility, or save act, would require registered voters to provide proof of citizenship and for states to remove noncitizens from their list of eligible voters. >> we want u.s. citizens to vote but we don't want illegal votes. >> block illegal aliens from voting in our elections. >> joe biden and his regime are shelling out benefits to illegal immigrants like oprah winfrey on her show. everyone gets a vote. >> you're right, lauren boebert. you can't just casually give votes away. they're not like a hand job at a "beetlejuice" musical. [cheers and applause] and just so everyone's up to speed, what this bill does is require everyone to register to vote to present documentation proving citizenship, like a passport or a birth certificate. and maybe you're thinking, "well, if there's a big problem

of non-citizens voting illegally, why not try to stop it?" well, because there isn't a big problem! there isn't even a small problem! there isn't a problem at all! do you need to hear it in spanish? no hay problemo! [cheers and applause] data shows that non-citizen immigrants almost never vote! and why would they? who would risk going to prison or getting deported just for an "i voted" sticker? [cheers and applause] can you imagine what that person would be thinking? "i traveled hundreds of miles, paid tens of thousands of

dollars, left my beloved ones, and faced hardships no human being would want to endure, all so i could vote for comptroller of suffolk county! si se puede!" [cheers and applause] sorry. if you ask me, this whole thing is just republicans trying to suppress the latino vote. and you know why i think that? because of stuff like this. >> "the new york times" obtained recordings by conservative activists saying that noncitizens could be dissuaded from voting by posting signs in spanish warning against illegally registering. they also suggested purging voter rolls by searching for ethnic names. >> damn. if they're looking for ethnic names to purge from the voting rolls, i am [bleep].

i mean: "john"? what's with that weird-ass, silent "h"? by the time they got to "leguizamo," i'd be lucky if i could vote for "the masked singer." though, there is something funny about these republican cabrones trying to write anti-voting signs in spanish. because i doubt they have any spanish-speaking friends. they're just going up to their cleaning ladies like, "hey, consuela, como se dice, "you cannot vote?" and you know consuela would come back like, "oh, i got you, papi. it's "tengo una verga pequena." [cheers and applause] [laughs] yeah, i said -- the sensors are

not going to catch me. they won't know what the [bleep] that is. so basically the only people these republicans want voting is white people. so if you want to vote, your skin better be as pure and as white as cocaine powder. ma, i don't actually know what cocaine is. is it white? i've never seen it, and i definitely don't know what it smells like. i'm just kidding. my mom's a big coke head. the point is that republicans are saying illegal aliens are stealing our votes when in reality, they're the ones stealing votes by using racist fearmongering to suppress them. and not only does this hurt democracy, but it also hurts real people, especially latinos. because all the latest data is showing that hate crimes against latinos are way up in america. and this bullshit suppresses the vote and propagates the false narrative that latinos don't

belong here, when we do! we belong here. [cheers and applause] oh, yeah. thank you. you make me feel like i belong. thank you. my own family goes back 500 years on this continent, bitch. and we're almost done unpacking. just got a few more boxes. so republicans, maybe you should spend less time focusing on the save act and more time on trying not to be "vergas pequenas." but hey, that's just my opinion. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jordan: john leguizamo, everybody! when we come back, sasheer zamata will be joining me on the show. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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>> lilia calderu, divination. you're bound. >> and you need a chemical peel. >> jordan: please welcome sasheer zamata! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] sasheer, oh, my gosh. oh, my gosh. >> oh my gosh. >> jordan: is it witch season already? >> it has been witch season. spooky time. >> jordan: it comes earlier every year. it is because of dark magic? >> money. >> jordan: it's not climate change? >> it is money. i feel like i saw home depot skeletons in april. they are trying to get you to buy more stuff. >> jordan: it is. >> and please buy my stuff. please buy into my spooky stuff. >> jordan: people want to be a little spooked out right now. i have been fearful for years

prepping for this. you had a stand up special. "the first woman." you talk about witches in this. getting to be a witch in the marvel universe. >> it is kismet. i was already doing a lot of history on witch lore and i have been a fan of witch culture and i got asked to audition for this show and then i was like, did you guys know that you are hiring a witch? like, it feels really appropriate. >> jordan: [laughs] there's some nerve-racking elements, not only in the content of the show you are working on, but it's a great cast. but you are also starring alongside broadway legend patti lupone. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: wow. you had to sing in front of broadway legend patti lupone. where does that rank on your stress level? >> i mean, she made us feel very comfortable. she is so down-to-earth and she was so game to be a part of this team and i feel like people were stressed about it but she was like, just sing, honey, you are great. it was so nice and refreshing and it was funny because they

didn't let us know that we had to sing for the show. >> jordan: really? >> that was not a requirement for the audition. they just hoped for the best. it worked out. [laughter] >> jordan: that could definitely go awry. >> but yeah, i can carry a tune. >> jordan: there seems to be a bond onset in the coven you had. did that exist offset as well? >> truly. we have a coven group chain and we text each other when there is a full moon. we check on each other during retrogrades. really sweet. >> jordan: [laughs] >> i saw patti lupone in her play this week, which you should also go see, "the roommates." i saw joe on "sweeney todd," we still bip and bop in and out of each other's life. it is really nice to have a group of people that you can rely on like that. >> jordan: that is very nice. it is so wonderful to see you here and how well you are doing. sasheer zamata, everyone. "agatha all along" premieres september 18th on disney+ with new episodes. we are going to take a quick break. we will be right back. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ excuse me. can i get this? (speaking in thai) ♪ "new world v5r3" ♪ by mathew hollingsworth (speaking in thai) ♪♪ try me. ♪♪ ooooohh! ♪♪ ♪♪ you know why i love halloween? why? people give me kit kats, for free.

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frank it up! yeah! it's the perfect blend of flavor and heat i put that $#!t on everything you sure you're gonna be ok? we'll be fine. (softly) bye... (♪♪) (♪♪) (phone ringing) honey, hi... hey, how are you guys? we're getting by. great! me too. can we call you back?! you never want to lose your edge. this is an suv that really understands that. the lexus rx. (♪♪) i'm adding downy unstopables to my wash. now i'll be smelling fresh all day long. [sniff] still fresh. still fresh! ♪♪ with downy unstopables, you just toss, wash, wow. for all-day freshness. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: that's our show for tonight. now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> but over on msnbc, the

taylor swift vote was treated like a new piece development. >> my favorite thing was when rachel maddow read the entire taylor swift statement like it was the magna carta. [laughter] >> oh, they are not playing it, i guess. it was really funny. >> that's too bad. >> you set it up, it was good. he went on for nearly 2 minutes. he went on for nearly 2 minutes. >> come on, you are k ♪ it seems today ♪ ♪ that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ [♪ fanfare music playing] ah, boy, do i love the fall festival.

especially how everywhere you turn is the smell of pumpkin spice. pumpkin spice. sounds like a reject from a female british pop band. quit tossing your scarf over your shoulder to punctuate your jokes. you know what, peter? i like me. look, "guess your weight." with a line that long, i'll guess my own wait, 30 minutes. oop, see you in a few. got scarfed up. [laughing] no. no, no, no. i don't-i don't throw in public. ugh, and i only fetch. all right, i'll see if i can get my money back. excuse me? [♪ upbeat music playing] oh, cool. i like your tattoo. oh, that? yeah, that's the hormone monstress. she likes sex and i like sex, so i figured i'd permanently disfigure myself with something