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"the daily show" presents "indecision 2024": the vice presidential debate: the battle to be america's number one number two! with your host, michael kosta! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> michael: thank you! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we are coming to you live! right now, we are live! the vice presidential debate has just wrapped up. it was right here in new york city. and just outside the venue, each candidate's supporters were embodying our forefathers' passion for elevated political discourse. >> we're not going back! we're not going back! >> suck my [bleep]! suck my [bleep]!

>> michael: "we're not going back," "suck my [bleep]." the campaign in a nutshell. but before we get into the actual debate, it's important to remember how high the stakes were tonight. they weren't that high. because as i previously mentioned, it was a vice presidential debate. one of these men will lose and we'll never hear from him again, and the other one will become vp and we'll never hear from him again. so tonight probably won't matter much to the voters. but to the news media, it was a historic opportunity to get people to watch tv. >> choose your vice. as anticipation builds for one of the most crucial vp debates in modern history. >> one of the biggest moments of the campaign. >> the most important vice presidential debate in history. >> what could be the most important vice presidential debate in modern american political history. >> michael: "if you were using your tv outlet for your grandma's life support, it's time to pull the plug on that bitch! that's how big this debate is." i mean, are you for real? the most crucial vp debate in history? the only other vp debate anyone

remembers is the time that fly got stuck on mike pence's head. the bar is low. now for those of you just tuning in to the presidential race -- which, by the way, congratulations, that must be nice, just tuning in -- let me break down who these two men are: there's tim walz, minnesota governor and the neighbor from "home improvement," and j.d. vance, ohio senator and guy with the social skills of chat-gpt. on paper, they have a lot in common: they're both midwestern dads, they both have military backgrounds, they both hate donald trump, and they both watch "shawshank" every time it's on tv, even though they have it on dvd. but as much as these guys have in common, they've been going pretty hard at each over this campaign. walz has repeatedly called vance "weird," he made a joke about him banging a couch, and worst of all, he implied that he's a fancy boy. >> like all regular people, i

grew up with in the heartland. j.d. studied at yale. >> he's a yale guy. i'm a public school teacher. >> we don't need a yale-educated philosophy major. >> i had 24 kids in my high school class. and none of them went to yale. >> michael: oh, shit! check out this bitch and his quality education! i get what tim walz is doing, but ease up a little. the only person who talks more about going to yale than tim walz is everyone who went to yale. but vance's attacks on walz have been just as personal. he's accused walz of stolen valor, he's claimed he's a compulsive liar, and he even suggested that walz doesn't actually love his wife? >> talk about weird with tim walz, i don't know if you guys saw the rally yesterday, but afterwards, his wife comes up to him, and tim walz does what any normal midwestern guy would do, seeing his beautiful wife on stage after his speech, he gives her a firm handshake. right? that's pretty weird.

>> michael: "yeah, come on, tim! finger blast your wife, dude! it's a rally, not a funeral! a real man greets his wife doggy style!" what are you doing?" also, to be fair to tim walz: in minnesota, a firm handshake is considered third base. but even though it's been personal between these two, both vance and walz are professionals. and that means engaging in the traditional pre-debate game of lowering expectations. it's a careful strategy where you hype up your opponent's debating skills while downplaying yours, so that even a mediocre performance seems like a win. let's see how tim walz handled his attempt to lower expectations. >> sources now tell cnn that tim walz is fighting off a case the nerves ahead of his debate with senator j.d. vance. he is said to be nervous that he might let kamala harris down. >> and we know he did warn harris during the vetting process that he's a bad debater. >> michael: okay, that might be

lowering expectations too much. tim, you want to be more like "my opponent is a slick talker," not "me talk bad, disappoint pretty lady." you want, "i'm new to all this," not "i'm so stupid a dog used peanut butter to trick me into licking his balls." meanwhile, on the republican side, donald trump took a swing at lowering expectations for j.d. vance. remember, mr. trump, the goal is to subtly suggest that j.d. vance might have a hard time at the debate, because he's going up against a skilled debater. show us. >> he's going up against a moron, a total moron. >> michael: crushed it. but it wasn't just the candidates preparing for the debate. the debate moderators were also trying to find ways to keep them honest. now, at the last debate between kamala and trump, abc got heat for live fact-checking the whole dogs and cats thing. so tonight, cbs took a different approach. >> cbs says there will be no live fact checking by the

moderators, but the broadcast will feature a qr code on the screen, which will link to a real-time fact check being done by cbs journalists. >> michael: yes, a qr code! perfect journalism. when a candidate tells a lie, why correct it for the 50 million people watching live? just have a link for the 12 nerds who bother scanning it! am i supposed to be impressed that they have a qr code? every asshole has a qr code. we even have one right here. yeah, it's just a menu for a mexican restaurant i went to during the pandemic. but still! you can scan it if you want! there it is, right there. after all that preparation, the debate finally began at 9:00. and right off the bat, there was a big difference between these guys and trump's debate with kamala. or trump's debate with anyone. these guys seemed to actually get along? >> you're going to hear a lot from tim walz this evening and you just heard it in the answer,

a lot of what kamala harris proposes to do and some of it, i'll be honest with, it even sounds pretty good. >> so the rhetoric is good. much of what the senator said right there, i am in agreement with him on this. >> governor walz and i actually probably agree that we need to do better on this. >> i believe senator vance wants to solve this. >> i agree with you. i think you want to solve this problem. >> i agree with a lot of what senator vance said. >> i actually agree with tim walz. >> michael: wow, maybe you two should run together? maybe a date? it seems like you have a lot in common. "hello, cbs? it's tim. we are going to share an uber home." but seriously, to see two candidates being civil with each other was surprising. and personally, boring as shit. talk about something interesting like it was going to eat the cats. nobody is going to turn any of these sound bites into a tiktok. that is not to say the whole thing was cordial. there was one moment where things got so heated, the moderators had to take matters

into their own hands. >> norah? speak a thing thank you, senator, we have so much to get to. >> we are going to turn out to the economy -- >> margaret -- >> the definition of illegal immigration -- >> thank you, senator, for describing the legal process. we have so much to get to, senator. >> we want to have -- >> has not been on the books -- >> gentlemen, the audience can't hear you because you are mics are cut. >> michael: that is within the rules but it did seem like they kind of enjoyed it, no? "no one can hear you because we cut the mics." speaking as a voter who has been watching this campaign for the last 200 years, this might have been my favorite moment. if norah and margaret could offer everyone in america a button that mutes politicians, we would elect that ticket. now for a lot of america, this debate was the first introduction to the vp candidates and we learned a lot about their positions. like walz had this droopy dog

position, and j.d. vance had this position. but they both surprised me a bit. for example, when talking about immigration, walz quoted a book i didn't think the democrats had ever read. i guess, it is called the bibble? >> i don't talk about my faith a lot but matthew 25:40, talks about, "to the least amongst us, you do unto me." >> michael: tim walz has released a role stolen every republican shtick. he is folksy, into cars, hunts, quotes the bible. what is next? you will find out he is the webmaster of nudeafrica.com? we learned a surprising thing about vance as well. he does support diversity in certain circumstances. >> let the individual states make their abortion policy. i think that is what makes the most sense in a very big, very

diverse, divided country. we can be a big and diverse country where we respect people's freedom of conscience. donald trump has been very clear that on the abortion policy specifically, that we have a vague country and it is diverse. >> michael: yeah, you see, america? republicans do support diversity. some states believe women should have rights, and some don't. it is a beautiful tapestry of america. now if you are a member, tim did tell kamala he was a bad debater and there was one moment in this debate when i said, yeah, he is. fact-check: true! >> you said you were in hong kong during the deadly tiananmen square protests in the spring of 1989. but minnesota public radio and other media outlets are reporting that you actually didn't travel to asia until august of that year. can you explain that discrepancy? >> all i set on this was as i got there this summer and misspoke on this, so i will just -- that is what i have said. so i was in hong kong and china

during the democracy protests when in. and from that, i learned a lot of what needed to be in governance. >> michael: damn. you know you are blowing the tiananmen square question when you look more nervous than i do to staring the tank. if you didn't like that joke, here is a qr code you can scan to get a refund for this portion of the show. [applause] thank you. you don't know how much time we spent on those qr codes. now it vance, on the other hand, to his credit, did a great job in the debate. he was smooth, he was confident, he was prepared. the only problem he may have had was his memory. >> donald trump's economic hall policies deliver the highest take-home pay in a generation of this country, 1.5% inflation, and to boot, peace and security all over the world. >> michael: piece around the world? there wasn't even peace in this

country! the only time there was peace was when we were all locked in our house, cleaning our vegetables with clorox wipes, which i did steal for my neighbor and sold them on ebay, which did increase my take-home pay, so thank you, donald trump. so what did we learn about tonight? well, first, let's be honest, 99% of voters will not care about the vp debate. that is a fact. if you want to check it, you can scan this qr code. [laughs] we had to do one marked! which will open up your internet browser and you can google it yourself. i am busy. i'm hosting a live tv show. but aside from that, the thing i took away from this debate was that both of these men, they made the midwest proud. this debate was an oasis of midwestern nice, and just like midwestern nice, it was a mask, covering deep-seated hatred and resentment. don't let 90 minutes of them in a room together fool you. these men represent two movements that are at each other's throats, and their visions for america are

radically different. so tonight might have been all "i agree," and "my friend had the point." but tomorrow morning, we will all be back to this: >> we are not going back! we are not going back! >> suck my [bleep]! suck my [bleep]! >> michael: when we come back, we find out what voters think about the vp choices, so don't go away. go away. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." new york city had the honor of hosting tonight's vice presidential debate so our new steam hit the streets to find out how excited new yorkers were about getting to see history up close. speak with the vice presidential debate is happening right here in new york city, and people are excited. >> i am outside 57th street right now to gauge the temperature of new york's vp debate. >> when i'm on the other side of 57th street because there are new yorkers pumped about this debate, literally everywhere. >> and i'm on the corner 57th street because this just happens to be new yorkers here as well. >> so on a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you for the vice presidential debate in new york city? >> i'm going to say negative two. >> okay. >> so you're not excited?

>> not particularly know. >> i don't care. >> i had no idea. >> bought? are you living under a rock, 30 rock? >> [laughs] >> new york joke. >> do you think this vice presidential debate is going to sway you in any way, one way or another? [laughter] >> they almost don't need to do it. [laughter] >> where were the only pumped up veeps? >> does anyone need my tickets to the sweat tour? i'm going to the vice presidential debate! >> what one was your favorite? >> biden was my favorite. >> are you going to ask which one was my favorite? >> i am wearing my favorite teacher today. every morning, i wake up and choose which dan quayle t-shirt i will wear. >> i don't know who that is. [laughter] >> now, do you have any, any at all from a favorite vp in history? >> ... no. >> no? >> okay. no is also a very correct

answer. >> i am going to give you the name of a person and you have to tell me if they are a former vice president or something else. >> okay. >> richard mentor johnson. former vp or serial killer? >> serial killer. [laughter] >> former vice president. >> okay. >> garrett hobart, former vp or nfl wide receiver? >> i'm going to go nfl. >> he has another former vice president. one more. george clinton. former vp or founding member of parliament, funkadelic? >> that is definitely funkadelic. >> trick question. it is both. >> can you tell me what a vice president does? >> to be honest, i don't know. >> that is a question i would love to get answered. >> a lot of ribbon cutting. a lot of hand-holding. like an ornament? very special christmas ornament that just kind of hangs around, you know? >> i think they are a just in

case thing. >> okay. the ceo of just in case. >> the official job of the vice president would be to stand behind the president. >> just basically be there. >> yes. >> after hours of searching, something incredible happened. >> i finally found a group of people who are exhibiting the appropriate amount of excitement for this debate. there is, like, four people back there. how exciting. >> how excited are you for the debate tonight? >> i am extremely excited. >> me too. >> yeah, j.d. vance is going to wipe the floor with tim walz tonight. >> do you get nervous that j.d. vance might forget his role and accidentally called donald trump a lizard again? >> absolutely not. >> he has done it before. and i get a little nervous. >> yeah, well. >> vance, maybe we would all respect the vice president more if we could walk a mile in their shoes. >> what would you do as vice president, if you are

vice president? >> first, i would try to make health care all around the board to everybody. >> now as vp, you wouldn't really have the power to do that. >> i know, i wouldn't have the power to do that. >> so what other things would you do as vice president? >> i would try to do, like, wellness. the elderly. >> so more protections for seniors. >> yes. >> as vp, you wouldn't really have the power to do that. >> i know i wouldn't, i know i wouldn't. >> as vp, your powers would be to break ties in the senate, and to certify the election. that is kind of it. >> i mean, i would try to do that then. >> okay. >> now there is a winning slogan. "i would try to do that then." [cheers and applause] >> michael: when we come back, paola ramos will be joining me on the show. don't go away. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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gametime! your cousin from boston make anything a tailgate with sam adams octoberfest. (cheering) it's sam season agent: so what did you think of the, the pitch i emailed you? bella: yes... the one that you emailed me... i remember. the pitch of dogge days... what a... what a title. um, here we are. very victorian, which i loved. unique relationship is formed... i love unique relationships.

agent: with a twist - bella: i know, because i read it. agent: great! i'm gonna tell them you're interested. ♪ “genius” by krizz kaliko ♪ ♪ i am genius (whoaaa) ♪ [cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." my guess tonight is an emmy award-winning journalist and author whose new book is called "defectors: the rise of the latino far right and what it means for america." please welcome paola ramos! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] we are live! we are live, we are live, we are live. this is your book. i learned a lot. >> a scary subject. >> michael: it is a scary subject. the rise of the latino far right

and what it means for america. what does it mean for america? >> well, it means that after you see the debate today, you have someone like j.d. vance that is talking about mass deportations, still not apologizing about the way that he referred to haitian migrants, which are illegal, by the way, and that even when some latinos see that, they still feel sort of reflected in that trumpism. if we consider the fact that today, that very same man, donald trump that is promising mass deportations, he's pulling at about 40% with latino voters. it is important to question why. precisely because democrats have always a sort of believe that it would be latino voters that would take them to that future. >> michael: yeah. man, when i read this, why would -- with trump rhetoric at the southern border, of migrants, why would the latino population support him in such a way? >> think about it like this. maybe you and i -- i always

identify as a latina and when i do that, i always think about the fact that my parents are cuban exiles and mexican immigrants. there is a sector of latinos that don't want to see themselves in that way. they do not want to see themselves lumped with other immigrants. so even if we think about how the latino community has changed in the last 20, 30 years, we are talking about a community now that is a lot more americanized and assimilated. most of the latino voting bloc is under the age of 50. u.s.-born. [speaking spanish] >> michael: i understand that. >> i was testing you. >> michael: i don't know how to respond but i understand. >> [speaking spanish] >> [speaking spanish] [laughter] >> anyways come a long short, i think what trumpism does really well as many think about the latino voting bloc, they are betting on this one idea, the fact that there are some latinos that are so americanized and is symbolized know that they too will sort of buy into the

nativism. they too will look at, here are the words "send them back," and not at all see themselves reflected in that. >> michael: and that accesses, it feels like -- you explain this in the book. this has more to do with the history of people who came over, and that is what is so interesting to me, was understanding, these are traumatic stories. how does trumpism, how do they tap into that history? you talk about it a little bit. >> i think when you think about the latino maga trump supporters. the harder part is really thinking about our story. that sort of cultural forces that are among us, i'm talking about understanding the racial baggage that we carry from latin america. as latinos, it is hard to talk about race and colorism. i am talking about the weights of colonialism. how does that sort of brutal history really shape our moral

compass? and then the political trauma, what it means to flee from these countries and then when you think of all those factors together, then you start to understand why donald trump feels so comfortable going to there, talking to some black latinos about racism of a criminalizing black folks for them, then you start to understand why he feels so comfortable talking to mexican-americans about the border and the wall because he can tap into that grievance. >> michael: what did you see tonight in the debate that maybe i didn't notice? or wasn't paying attention to? was there -- >> you seem to board. >> michael: [laughs] i wasn't bored. but i was ignorant to so many things in this book and that is why it is such a great read and man, there are some really personal stories that are fascinating. what happened tonight in the debate? was there some calling out to the latino population that i didn't notice or did notice? >> i think to be what was interesting, i think for the first 20 minutes, you see a j.d. vance -- i think the bar was so low, he seemed very decent.

you almost forgot that he had called donald trump an idiot once. you forget all of these things. >> michael: i couple might it have on the show and the whole audience was like, what the [bleep]? >> but it is true. he was believable until they got to the section on immigration and in that moment, and a very slick way, that is when you start to see the way that he has this ability, and trumpism has this very brilliant ability to dehumanize the other. that is when he started to really reveal himself. he starts the lies, he starts to dehumanize people. then he can't answer a fundamental question, which is, will you separate families? will you separate the children, the u.s.-born children of the american parents? he wasn't able to answer that question because the answer is yes. that yes entails separating not just undocumented immigrants but he can't even tell us with a straight face, what he talks about immigrants, can he tell us that illegal immigrants would also be deported? i mean, u.s.-born children, will they be deported? i think the blurring of the lines, it is very dangerous.

>> michael: what lastly, quickly, what can kamala, what can the democrats do to reach out more to the latino population? >> i think sort of ground people in the urgency. this is someone, this is a team that is literally talking about mass deportations. that entails deputizing local police forces, going around people's homes. there is over 10 million u.s. citizens in this country that live in mixed status families. this isn't an emigrant story, this isn't a latino story. this is truly an american issue. so ground people in that urgency. >> michael: it is a great book. i learned so much. every american should read it. thank you so much for coming and talking to us. "defectors" is available now. paola ramos. paola ramos. we will take a quick break and

(♪♪)

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[cheers and applause] >> michael: that's our show for tonight. thank you! now here it is, your "moment of zen." speak with the vp debate really hasn't much had an impact on election day. less exciting, less consequential. >> i don't think this takes between those who are particularly high. >> it's not going to change much of the presidential rate. >> it doesn't account for much. >> this is a debate that doesn't matter. >> quoted from the famous movie, it just doesn't matter, it just doesn't matter. doesn't matter. it just does

new yorkers have always loved block parties. you can hang out with everyone in your neighborhood, and best of all, you didn't have to invite them into your house. the block party is on saturday! uh, doy. i'm gonna win the hot dog eating contest. the trick is not to chew. guess again, drew. i volunteered you and tonya to look after the younger kids. what? it's not fair. ah! is it fair i work two jobs? is it fair arbor day is my only day off? my dad was like candyman, but we summoned him by saying, "it's not fair." is it fair i have to spend the whole block party on the grill? he had to grill, because he was the only daddy on the block. except for this guy. hey, daddy. more importantly, is it fair i never get done grilling in time to get some of your mama's mac and cheese? what can i say? it goes so fast.