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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  October 22, 2024 11:00pm-11:35pm PDT

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♪ and i'll take ♪ ♪ with me the memories ♪ ♪ the memories ♪ ♪ to be my sunshine ♪ ♪ after the rain ♪ ♪ it's so hard ♪ ♪ to say good-bye ♪ ♪ to yesterday ♪ ♪ day... ♪ -[song ends] -[bell dings] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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>> michael: yes, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about tonight. the election enters its bribery phase, elon musk could use a friend, and i get schooled on the electoral college. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] we are exactly two weeks from election day and two weeks and one day from donald trump complaining about voter fraud. but tonight, there's breaking news about one trump henchmen who probably won't be joining in this time. >> breaking news in that civil case against former new york mayor rudy giuliani. a federal judge ordered giuliani to turn over all of his valuable possessions, including his manhattan apartment, to former fulton county elections workers shaye moss and ruby freeman. [cheers and applause] giuliani owes them $150 million after they won a defamation suit against him. he claimed they were involved in election fraud after the 2020 election. >> the judge wants giuliani to hand over more than just his madison avenue apartment. he's ordered to surrender watches, signed yankees
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paraphernalia, furniture, and even his tv. the only valuable he's allowed to keep is his grandfather's watch. >> michael: oh, poor rudy. poor, poor rudy. and i'm not expressing empathy, by the way. i'm saying rudy is literally poor now. he's broke. he's got to give them his apartment, his car, his furniture, even his tv. do you know how badly you have to lose a court case that 9/11 is the second worse thing that's ever happened to you? it really makes you realize how random justice is in this country. this man lost his entire fortune for trying to steal the election, while the man who he was trying to steal the election for has faced no repercussions at all! it's like when i get yelled at for going to the strip club even though there were 45 other men also at the strip club. why doesn't my wife yell at them? but let's move on to the current election. in the home stretch of the 2024
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campaign, donald trump has gained a critical new supporter: elon musk. a man of gravitas, a man of dignity, a man with roughly a four-inch vertical leap, and president of the funny tummy club. but he's also the richest man in the world. he's so rich, he bought twitter just to drive it into the ground for his own personal pleasure, and now he's thinking, "what if i did the same with america?" >> tech mogul elon musk making a surprise pledge while stumping for trump, launching a million dollar giveaway for voters who signed his petition in favor of free speech and the right to bear arms. >> michael: wow, elon's giving a million dollars to his fans! now they can afford the best anime girlfriend pillow money can buy. so how exactly does this bribe -- sorry, gift -- work? >> so every day between now and the election, we'll be awarding a million dollars, starting
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tonight. tonight's person is john dreher. >> michael: wow, how exciting for john dreher. but maybe less exciting when you realize they filled in the money section with "john dreher." [laughter and applause] although, i'm not sure it matters, since elon put his signature dead center in the check. which, as everyone knows, is exactly not where you're supposed to put it. but hey, he's a disrupter! also, just a missed opportunity, put something funny in the "memo" section! may i suggest "butt medicine?" my landlord loves that. forget all that, what exactly do you have to do for that million dollars? >> the only thing we ask for the million dollars is that you be a spokesperson for the petition and that's it really.
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that's the whole -- that's it. and yeah, that's it. >> michael: "bye!" that's how uncharismatic elon musk is. he can hand someone a million dollars and they're like, "so, can i just go now?" i've seen people more excited to win a dishwasher on "the price is right." and i know what you're thinking right now: "how could republicans sink so low, and also, can i sink low enough to register for this?" well, yes, but you better hurry up, because it's not quite clear if this whole thing is cool with johnny law. >> pennsylvania's governor, josh shapiro, questioned the legality of this giveaway and said it's something law enforcement should be taking a look at. >> when you start flowing this kind of money into politics, i think it raises serious questions that folks may want to take a look at. >> michael: yeah, this whole thing may violate election law. but good luck to the democrats trying to stop it. that'll win over voters. "we're taking a million dollars from you. vote harris-walz!"
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but of course, billionaires in politics isn't anything new. democrats have george soros and mark cuban. republicans have steve wynn, dan snyder, and i think the monopoly man? but elon is also getting personally involved in a way that we've never seen before. not only has he donated $75 million to trump's reelection effort, not only has he spoken at trump's rallies, but his super pac, "america pac," is essentially running trump's entire "get out the vote" campaign. and fun fact: he wanted to call his pac "@america" on twitter, but someone else already had that handle, so he just took it from them. he literally stole america! but don't worry, in exchange, he gave them the handle "@america123_12." really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? you couldn't give him a cooler handle than that? give him "@henry kissinger," he's not using that anymore.
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but look, any of us can funnel millions of dollars into an election. musk's real influence is turning twitter into donald trump's personal propaganda machine. >> musk also uses x, formerly twitter, which he owns, to promote trump to his 200 million plus followers. according to a cbs news investigation, musk has used x to amass 3.3 billion views on posts about election security so far this year. 55% of the posts contained or amplified false or misleading information, including unsubstantiated conspiracies. >> michael: holy shit. 3.3 billion views for conspiracies and misinformation. and yes, a billion or two of those views come from sex bots that only tweet things like "click here to see crypto in my [bleep]" -- but that's still a huge amount of propaganda. 55% of the posts had misinformation. so he's wrong half the time. thank god he only controls twitter and not some sort of rocket company. and if you're on twitter like
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me, you know that he doesn't just tweet this stuff out to his followers, he puts it in your feed whether you follow him or not. it's gotten so bad that the other day, i almost closed twitter and talked to my family. can you imagine? honestly, i should just get off twitter entirely, except i've been talking to this smoking hot russian chick whose [bleep] is made of crypto. so elon has formed a very close alliance with donald trump. so close, in fact, that trump says that if he wins, he'll give elon a job in his administration cutting government waste. and elon already has some really dumb ideas for how to do that. >> so we've talked about kind of a government efficiency commission, or the department of government efficiency. where we just take a look at at all the federal agencies and say, "do we really need, whatever it is, 428 federal agencies?" there's so many that people have never even heard of. >> michael: yeah, that tracks. if you've never heard of something, that means we don't need it.
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seriously, the "parietal lobe"? i've never heard of it, don't need it. for more on elon musk's cash giveaway, we go live to tesla headquarters with ronny chieng. [cheers and applause] ronny, get me into elon's mindset. what's elon's goal here? >> don't overthink this, michael. all elon's trying to do is make a friend. that's it, back to you. >> michael: ronny! hold on. he's not giving people millions of dollars just to make a friend. >> yes, he is. that's why he makes the winner come up on stage to get the check. because that's the only way he can get anyone close enough to him to try to be friends. and then he's like, "here's a million dollars," "uh, uh, uh," and the people run away as fast as they can. because he's a loser with no friends.
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[cheers and applause] >> michael: c'mon, ronny. how could he have no friends? he's a man with billions of dollars. >> no, no, he is a loser with billions of dollars. making a billion dollars is not the same skill set as making friends. just look at how he jumps up and down when people clap for him. yo, does that look like a man you want to be friends with? that looks like the kid at school with no friends. you know when there's a giraffe at the zoo that was raised in isolation so it doesn't know how to be a giraffe. that's him! >> michael: okay, but there's easier ways to make friends than to pay them a million dollars. >> yeah, and he's tried them all. he bought twitter to make friends, and what happened? we all left twitter. he built self-driving cars so the cars would be his friend, and what happened? the cars blew themselves up. he tried to make friends by having a thousand kids, and what happened? they all were, like, can nick cannon adopt us instead? >> michael: yeah, i guess that makes sense. >> no, no, no, i'm not done. this man is a [bleep] loser,
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kosta. [cheers and applause] yo, his group chat is him and a burner phone he bought so he wouldn't be alone in the group chat. the only reason he wants to go to mars is so he can be the first human to meet aliens, because he knows once they meet other humans, they'll be like "oh, wait, this one [bleep] sucks." >> michael: ronny, the man is 53-years-old. he's got to have at least one friend. >> no. no. and you know how i know he has no friends? because he made the cybertruck. a real friend would have told him, "bro, that's the stupidest shit i've ever seen in my life. you should punch yourself in the dick." [cheers and applause] friends don't let friends make cars that look like a batmobile that had to repeat the first grade. >> michael: so what, our democracy is going to collapse unless this guy gets a friend? >> exactly. we just need one sad pathetic
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pasty loser to be his friend. which is why i'm awarding you, michael kosta, $1 million. [cheers and applause] all you need to do is be elon musk's friend. that's it. that's all you have to do. congratulations, michael! you won! so proud of you. >> michael: is that check made out to you from me? >> yeah, yeah, don't overthink it, man, just sign this check. >> michael: ronny chieng, everybody. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll find out why your vote doesn't count. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." november 5th is election night and we all know how we'll be spending election night: watching john king smugly point to battleground states on the election map. we get it, john. you know where pennsylvania is! some of us didn't go to grad school. but a new initiative might change election night forever. take a look. >> with the race for the white house in a virtual deadlock -- >> a tight race and every battleground state. >> michael: if there is one thing i know as an american, it is our elections are perfect. when i heard there was an organization trying to change our system with something called the national popular vote interstate compact, i had to find out what it is. >> the national popular vote is an agreement amongst the states
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that when enough states join it, will move this country to a national popular vote for president. every voter in every state relevant in every presidential election. >> michael: put voters to elect a president. >> no, battleground states have all of the power with the american president and that is . 4 out of 5 states are totally ignored in the presidential election. >> it is a way to deliver to this country a president every time who wins the most amount of votes across the country. >> it doesn't take every state to participate. i will tell you that interstate compacts are not controversial things. every state has dozens of them. >> you've probably participated in interstate compact before. >> michael: absolutely not. i am an avid powerball. >> that is an interstate compact. >> michael: are you telling me the president of the united states is going be determined by the powerball winner? i guess i misunderstood. >> i may have misunderstood the question but i definitely know what the electoral college is and i certainly understand the
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national popular vote interstate compact. >> breaking news, "the daily show"'s michael kosta doesn't understand the national popular vote interstate compact. he may not even understand how the electoral college works. >> michael: what are you doing here, king? >> michael, if anyone says "electoral college" three times, it is like a genie. i'm cursed to appear. each state has their own system of appointing electors to vote in the electoral college. currently, almost all states have a winner-take-all system or the candidate who wins the most votes in that state then wins all of that state's electors. the men in nebraska due to little bit differently. once the candidate gets 200 electoral college votes, they went back. now with the national popular vote interstate compact, states in that compact have agreed to award all of their electoral votes to the winner of the national popular vote, regardless of who wins that statewide vote. that means, every single boat across country counts and battleground states would eventually become irrelevant. >> michael: wow. is it true that you wear a
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diaper on election night? >> let's go back to the interview. >> michael: how often is a president to become president and not wow the national book? >> it's happened five times. >> michael: five. >> the most recent, president trump and president bush. >> michael: republicans overwhelmingly benefit from the electoral college. so why would a republican ever be on board with a national vote initiative? how dumb would they have to be? [laughs] >> i happen to be a republican. [laughter] pretty conservative one too. >> michael: are you sure you are a republican? >> there's lots of republicans who support a national popular vote for president. >> michael: what about you? are you a democrat? >> i'm a democrat. >> michael: are we getting this? a republican and a democrat? >> it is a nonpartisan reform with bipartisan support. >> michael: everybody is bi these days. >> i've got nothing on that. >> michael: for this is just idealistic tomfoolery. is anyone going to get on board with this? >> this isn't a fantasy.
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it's not an academic fever dream. it is a law that has been passed by 17 states plus the district of columbia. >> michael: i have to admit, when you guys had down here, i thought there is no way these imbeciles know anything. but you have convinced me. it's pretty legit. what's next? what are we missing? >> all eyes on michigan. as a battleground state, it would be a critical domino to fall to create the momentum to get us over the finish line. michigan. >> michael: that's my home state. they are great legislatively. i bet they are working on this right now as we speak. >> you should weigh in. we had with the speaker. he needs to schedule a vote on the national popular vote. >> michael: look at me. shh. i will handle it. when kosta says it happens, it happens. ♪ ♪ >> breaking news, the cocky clown michael kosta headed to the battleground state of michigan, going there to see if they will pass the national popular vote. currently, let's pop it up and show you on the map here. currently have a states right now, these dates right here on
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the map, you see them calling in blue, they have officially passed the compact, that means they are in. their bills are passed into law. if you had them up, that will be 209 electoral votes. right there. these dates, like michigan, currently have bills introduced in one or more legislative chambers. now passing it in michigan is a long shot. especially for someone as inept as michael kosta. >> michael: [laughs] oh, i get it. you know, you are just worried that once i do get this thing passed, you and your precious magic wall will be out of a job for good. >> hey, hey. you can insult me but you leave the magic wall out of those. besides, even if it did reach the 270 threshold, there is always the potential for litigation, for the lawyers to get involved. lawyers for many of these dates are from the candidates themselves. plus, you still need 46 more electoral votes. >> michael: jesus. are you always miss much of a bummer, king? >> yes. >> michael: watch out michigan, you are about to be kosta-d. ♪ ♪
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[cheers and applause] >> michael: when we come back, jennifer granholm will be joining me on the show, don't go away. [cheers and applause] emergen-c crystals pop and fizz when you throw them back. and who doesn't love a good throwback? ♪♪
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[cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight runs the department of energy under president biden. please welcome secretary jennifer granholm! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ not bad! huge, huge department of energy fans here. >> all right! >> michael: what is the department of energy?
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>> we have 17 national laboratories, 40,000 scientists, all trying to solve the biggest problems of our time. it is the solutions department. and now we are deploying, deploying, deploying clean energy. >> michael: i hate to bring this up, because it is petty. but i have this desk and it's a responsibility. >> go for it. >> michael: my electric toothbrush needs to be charged more frequently, more often. but let's get into batteries. you know, americans love cheap shit. so all these batteries are being made in china. >> no! >> michael: no? let's talk about that. >> this is the whole thing. you guys, this is such a great story. >> michael: this stupid audience has no clue what we are talking about, but i know! explain to them! >> [laughs] so yes, batteries for electric vehicles and the stuff that goes into the batteries all has been -- >> michael: battery juice. >> the battery juice, the anode, the cathode, separator material, all of that is built in china. they cornered the market, they
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had a strategic plan to do it. we allowed it to happen. we watched, until this administration came in. they said, no, we are going to bring manufacturing back to this country. we will make it irresistible to invest in america. as a result, since the start of this administration, 450 ev assembly and battery companies have announced they are opening up in america. 450! [cheers and applause] that is amazing. >> michael: yeah, i love that. >> you're supposed to be, like, wow. >> michael: i mean, i drive gas. you know what, i'm a bad person. >> no, you are not. [laughs] >> michael: but i do want to ask you, when i'm ordering a bunch of stuff from amazon and they say, do you want to get this a day later and just use one box, i click yes. am i a hero? >> you are clearly a hero. [laughs] >> michael: renewable energy. some of the pushback is, hey, a wind turbine is cool when it's windy. hey, solar panels are great when it's sunny out. but that is not always the case.
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is that a dumb pushback on renewable energy? >> let's just say, they may not be aware that you can combine that kind of energy with these big utility scale batteries that have ten hours, sometimes much longer storage, so that it basically makes renewable energy, like, baseload power, clean power. these batteries give the opportunity for everybody to use energy all the time and that is why we are seeing so much deployment of clean energy across the country. can i just give you a quick stat on it? >> michael: please, i love stats. >> [laughs] you should feel really great about this, america. because about the incentives in these laws that that the president passed, developers of clean energy have been going gangbusters. this year, just in 2024, we will add 30 hoover dams' worth of clean power to our electric grid. 30 hoover dams. that is a record amount! [cheers and applause]
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>> michael: i will tell you what, she came with numbers. she came with numbers. this is something i'm afraid to ask. but if administrations change -- and when they do change -- does everything you've been working on go bye-bye too? is it like the energy in my electronic toothbrush, it just doesn't seem to make it, it can't stick around? >> the administration will change so it will depend on who is elected, right? >> michael: right. >> but let me just say this, the incentives that were embedded in biden-harris industrial strategy, i will just say, those incentives are working all across america, in every pocket. in red communities, in blue communities. honestly, 60% of the funding, all those factories i talked about in the clean energy space, there's been 900 factories, that includes wind and solar as well as batteries, et cetera. 900 factories. but 60 or even more percent of the investments have gone to red states and red districts.
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it would be political malpractice, really, to undo that when your community, especially a community that previously had a factory and the factory was gone, now you are getting a whole new opportunity, that would be a bad move to undo it. >> michael: i am sure trump would take care of the liberal cities and states of this country. thank you for coming here today. we appreciate it very much. energy secretary jennifer granholm! we will take a quick break. we will be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ brisket is back at chipotle. seasoned. smoked. seared. spiced. sauced.
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[pouring espresso into cup] [sliding coffee on counter] [person sipping their coffee] [cheers and applause] >> michael: that's our show for tonight. now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> and airport in new zealand is now putting a three minute time limit on goodbye hugs and the drop off zones. >> you know what i do? i do this. bye. >> that's not true. for the record, is the exact opposite. you are one of the best huggers on this planet. >> do you see me not turning back? >> she actually is leaving. >> she is gone for real. >> this has been seated in a new central. central. sarah is gone. [♪ theme music playing]
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[♪ theme music continues playing] [bell tolling] [horse hooves clopping] [horse neighing] lovely day for a walk, eh, holmes? yes, just look at our great city,
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bustling with activity. even the chimney sweeps are hard at work. [jeffrey] it's all dirty in here. i don't care. keep going. shouldn't i wear some sort of protective suit? why? don't you trust me? i do, but our friend bartholomew went in lots of chimneys in the '80s, and now he's sick. holmes, there's something i have to tell you. -i'm getting married... -i deduce, watson, -that you're getting married. -i just said that. yes, but i had deduced it first. that's what happened. so, congratulations. thank you. i thought you might be upset because we won't be able to solve mysteries... solve mysteries together. elementary. crown jewels stolen! "another one bites the dust", says queen. and coming up, russia and prussia still named basically the same thing. ghastly. who would have the audacity to steal the crown off the queen's head? only one man, watson. professor moriarty, the napoleon of crime. i've had him on the run for a year now. his criminal empire is in shambles,

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