liked "snl." - are you kidding? eddie murphy's so funny. - thank you! you know, we could watch it together sometime if you want. - sure. so how was your day? - i had never gotten a laugh like this from a girl before, and it felt amazing. i started to think maybe there were other options for my future that the career test hadn't considered. - wait, where did oprah go? - i'm getting too sexy for this [bleep]. - eww! - what is this? - who brought this filth into our home? - chris! [singers] ♪ everybody still hates chris ♪ [vocalizing] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> michael: wow, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about tonight. president obama shows off his rap skills, john kelly gives trump a history lesson, and i'll fix our entire voting system forever. you're welcome. so let's get right into it with another installment of "indecision 2024!" ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] we're 13 days away from the election, and it's a toss-up at this point. in the past few weeks, trump has made the polls tighter than his shirt collar around his little neck puss. so now democrats are bringing out the big guns. starting with a rally last night in detroit, where the opening act was local legend... [record scratch noise] eminem! that's right, people! slim shady, a.k.a. marshall mathers, a.k.a. the reason stan drove off that bridge.

[bleep] stan, you really think stars like eminem reads his own mail? idiot. but oh, man, this is going to be good. eminem has recorded some of the most brutal tracks of all time. he has a song where he stuffs people in the trunk of a car. he rapped about wanting to see president bush dead. he called his own mom a slut. the point is, eminem is going to destroy trump! so let's [bleep] go! >> the spotlight is on us more than ever and i think it's important to use your voice, so i'm encouraging everybody to get out and vote, please. [cheers and applause] [laughter] >> michael: "please?" wow, this guy got polite. "now everybody in the 313, put your [bleep] hands up and fill out your voter registration in a timely fashion, please." and em didn't even perform! but that was okay, because he was just the warm-up to barack obama, the real rapper of the night. >> i'm feeling some kind of way

following eminem. [cheers and applause] i noticed my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. vomit on my sweater already, mom's spaghetti. i'm nervous, but on the surface, i look calm and ready to drop bombs, but i keep on forgetting. [cheers and applause] >> michael: holy shit, did he just come up with that on the spot? that was so good. it should be a song! but it's nice to see obama pay homage to eminem because it means that black people have finally accepted that eminem is the greatest rapper of all time. and look, i know how it feels. i went through it when tiger woods started winning golf tournaments. i will say, maybe obama should skip that line about "dropping bombs."

are you still rapping or are you doing a drone strike? too real! don't laugh. too real! too real! but even if you were let down that eminem didn't go hard, don't worry, because over in wisconsin, an up-and-coming rapper dropped an epic donald trump diss track. >> he's ducked the debate but you can't blame him. when you get your ass whipped that hard, you don't go back for seconds. he has been rambling more than the normal rambling. he calls it the weave. donald, come on. we know there is only one weave that you know anything about. being at mcdonald's, he looks much more like ronald mcdonald and the clown that he actually is. and ronald wears less makeup. his running mate, elon musk. look, elon's on that stage jumping around, skipping like a dipshit. you know it. >> michael: wow, wow. this campaign has changed

tim walz! a month ago he was like, "gee whiz, i love going to menards!" now he's all, "how about you suck my nards!" la! "yeah, suck my nards!" [cheers and applause] and i know some people think it's stooping to trump's level when democrats throw around insults like "dipshit," but personally, i think politicians should be swearing way more often! audiences always love it! [cheers and applause] isn't that right, you dipshits? [cheers and applause] [bleep] do it! nice work, audience. but the biggest attack against trump at the moment isn't coming from obama or walz. it's coming from one of the top people in trump's own white house. >> this morning, donald trump's former chief of staff and retired general john kelly with a blistering rebuke of the republican nominee for president, calling him a fascist with no concept for the rule of law or the constitution.

>> what do you think? do you think he's a fascist? >> he certainly falls into the -- into the general definition of fascist. for sure. >> michael: wow. donald trump's old chief of staff is calling him a fascist. that is huge. although, i will say, telling america, "you're about to elect a fascist" is a pretty major thing to announce in an audio clip. he couldn't put on pants and say it into a camera? it's kind of like if aliens were invading and the president told us in a screenshot from his notes app. just seems like the wrong medium. let me just back up here a second. that word "fascism" gets thrown around a lot. it's one of those words you hear frequently, but you don't actually know what it means, like "emoluments" or "demure." so let me give you a definition. fascism is a nationalist political movement that builds a cult around an all-powerful leader who vows to protect his

loyal subjects from racially inferior "others" and the enemy within. now that you know that, upon hearing john kelly calling trump a fascist, you're probably thinking, "yeah, durrr." by the way, kelly isn't even the only general who served with trump who feels this way. general milley, trump's chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, also said trump is a "fascist to the core." general mattis and general mcmaster, both trump cabinet officials, have said trump violated the constitution. and keep in mind, these guys were the adults in the room in the first trump administration, keeping trump from going full dictator. and they're not going to be there the second time around. maybe it's just me, but i'm not ready to put the future of american democracy in the hands of secretary of defense "my pillow guy." but it gets even crazier! it gets crazier! because according to john kelly, trump's such a fascist that he even has an all-time favorite dictator. and if you're thinking, "no, no... it can't be..."

uh, yes, it can. >> he would -- he commented more than once that, you know, that hitler did some good things, too. [audience reacts] >> michael: yeah, hitler did some good things. i mean, after all, he killed himself. [cheers and applause] do we clap at that? seriously, trump, hitler never did anything good! he even sucked at waving. like, dude, god gave you elbows, use them! that's how i wave. but what kelly explained in an interview with the "atlantic" magazine is that what trump really loved about hitler was how he surrounded himself with yes men. or as they say in germany, "ja men." >> the title of the piece quotes trump as once having said, "i need the kind of generals that hitler had." trump adding, "people were totally loyal to him, they'd follow orders." >> michael: yeah, i feel like trump took the wrong lesson from

the holocaust. the lesson i learned was not to do the holocaust, but the lesson he learned was, "wow, the nazis were great listeners." and apparently the first time kelly heard this, trump didn't mention hitler at first. he just said, "german generals." so kelly tried to give trump an off-ramp, but he was not taking it. >> kelly told goldberg when trump raised the subject, he responded by asking, "do you mean bismarck's generals?" kelly went on, quote, "i mean, i knew he didn't know who bismarck was or about the franco-prussian war. i said, "do you mean the kaiser's generals? surely you can't mean hitler's generals?" and he said, "yeah, yeah, hitler's generals." >> michael: i mean, kelly was trying so hard to give him an out. "okay, you said german generals, but you don't mean hitler's generals? okay, you do mean hitler, but you mean, like, nathan hitler? the guy my wife goes to pilates with, right? help me out here, man." i love how he was like, "you mean bismarck's generals, right?"

my man, the only generals trump knows are the chinese one that makes that chicken, and the guy who teamed up with shaq to sell car insurance. that's it. anyway, this is pretty indefensible stuff. and when trump does something truly indefensible, you can always count on fox news to defend it. >> it's your job to do what the president wants. and i could absolutely see him go, you know what, it would be great to have german generals that actually do what we ask them to do, knowing that, and not being fully -- fully being cognizant of the third rail of german generals were nazis, whatever. >> michael: okay, okay. did you just "whatever" the holocaust? "whatever" is for insignificant things, like when you put the plastic recycling in the paper recycling. it's not "oops, i did a genocide." i like that kilmeade thinks praising hitler is a "third rail," like it's a taboo subject that's not "pc" to discuss at the office anymore. "ugh, you can't even compliment a woman's haircut or tell her about the good things hitler did

anymore. thanks, woke police." this was a little too far even for some of the other people on the couch. watch steve doocy as he realizes where kilmeade is going with this. >> you know what, it would be great to have german generals that actually do what we ask them to do. >> michael: poor guy, he looks nervous! his palms are sweaty. knees weak, arms heavy. there's vomit on his sweater already... [cheers and applause] look, almost everybody has figured out that hitler was bad. but for that one person that didn't, who also might be the next president -- great job, everybody -- maybe the media can drive the point home a bit more. >> here at the history channel, we spent the past three decades pumping out more war documentaries for grandpas but we are starting to think we haven't been clear enough about whether or not you should root for hitler. so we are eliminating that confusion with our new lineup of

world war ii programming. join us, mondays at 7:00, for "defeating the fuehrer," who, to be clear, was a bad guy. and "defeating hitler's generals," then at 9:00, one hour of a black screen that says "hitler was bad." plus, all of our other shows have helpful graphics in case you forget halfway through that hitler was bad. and of course, you can still enjoy all our other programming, like "ancient aliens." >> i believe that the pyramids were built by aliens. and even i know hitler was bad. >> we have even teamed up with our sister network to present to come shark week," "the hitler's of the sea." does that make hitler sound cool? forget about it. please enjoy the history channel. the h is for history, not hitler, who was bad. [cheers and applause] >> michael: when we come back, i go home to michigan.

don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪♪ let's unretire. why not? ♪♪

twenty-two, twenty-two, twenty-two, let's go! ♪♪ i'm good right here, bro. ♪♪

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>> breaking news, the cocky clown michael kosta headed to the battleground state of michigan, going there to see if they will pass the national popular vote. it is still a long shot, especially now for someone as inept as michael kosta. ♪ ♪ >> michael: i'm in michigan, the state known for being where i am from, at the capital, to inspire lawmakers to pass the national popular vote bill. so i am speaking with carrie, the sponsor of the bill, to find out how to get it pushed over the finish line. >> how does this national popular vote bill get voted on and where does this happen? >> on the house floor, located on the agenda, we'll be able to have it but on the board, and we will be invited to vote on it. >> michael: you feel like you have the votes you need? >> yes. >> michael: why not just pass it right now while your boy is here? >> i do expect a vote by the end of the year. >> michael: end of the year doesn't really work for me. this is the time that i'm going to be in michigan because i got a flight and 36 hours. who do i have to talk to to get the bill passed? i will do it. i am like the most famous guy from michigan ever, besides

tim allen but that guy sucks. >> we have been really busy this term. >> michael: voting on what is the best fudge shop in mackinac island? >> no, we don't need to -- >> michael: which michigander can eat the most snow? >> we've been doing important work. we do deliver, we do want to vote on this, and this is really a nonpartisan issue. >> michael: what can i do to push this through? because let's be honest, if this thing passes, who is the hero? boom, right? and i need that right now. >> it might be really helpful to hear from just more people in michigan. the general public, i think, would totally support this. >> michael: you want me to hang out with the general public? >> yes. >> michael: my mission was clear. if i was going to get this bill passed before my flight, i had to use my star power to get people on my side. because one thing was certain. i will not pay a change fee. >> michael: how do you feel about the electoral college? >> it sucks. >> does it feel outdated sometimes? >> i'm not a fan of the electoral college. i'm more of a fan of the popular vote. >> michael: tomorrow, there might be a bill being introduced

that would support a national popular vote to determine the presidency. >> i would be excited about that. >> i think that would mean michigan is on the right track. >> michael: maybe that is going to happen tomorrow. >> i would not put money on that. >> michael: if it did happen tomorrow, it will be great. look into that camera and show me the face you are going to make if the national popular vote bill passes. go ahead. >> i think the popular vote is good. >> michael: would you want michigan to pass the popular vote bill? >> hell you! >> michael: what you want michigan to pass the national popular vote bill! >> hell yes! >> yeah! >> michael: that settled it. michigan needed to pass the national popular vote bill. michigan! let's get this national popular vote bill done! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] after checking my balloons at security, i started wheeling and dealing off the floor. >> what are you here for? >> michael: we are hoping the national popular vote bill will get introduced and passed. what i single-handedly get

michigan to pass the national popular vote built specifically before my flight? word was getting around that kosta was in the house and things were starting to happen. >> michael: we are hoping the national popular vote bill gets introduced today and voted on. it is going to, it is going to. but after a tedious legislative session -- >> this is not our bill. relax, it's not our bill. >> michael: it was clear, the vote was not happening. >> michael: could be in the delta sky lounge and 35 minutes. can't do it. i got to go. ♪ ♪ i can't believe it. it's too bad, man. we had a shot. michigan lawmakers, you have really let the people, but more importantly, me, down. goddamn it, john king is going to have a field day with this thing. >> breaking news, the depressing duke as michael kosta has failed to get the national popular vote bill passed here in battleground michigan. he didn't even get it on the

agenda. now it is not an end to the national popular vote movement, but it is definitely an end to anyone caring about michael kosta. in fact, we are just getting exclusive footage of a dejected kosta leaving the michigan state capitol. take a peek. just like a little, sad boy that he is. cnn cannot officially project, michael kosta is pathetic. king out. >> michael: when we come back, david hogg will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. [rattle of barista pouring coffee beans] simply scan your screen [grinding noises] [bubbling water] [people softly talking] [whoosh of steam] [trickle of espresso pouring out] [whoosh of espresso settling] [pouring espresso into cup] [sliding coffee on counter] [person sipping their coffee] [cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show."

my guest tonight is a leader in the fight to end gun violence and co-founder of the "leaders we deserve" pac. please welcome david hogg! david! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ david hogg. david hogg! david hogg. [cheers and applause] soak it in. you are 24 years old. you are 24 years old. you cofounded march for our lives after surviving the parkland shooting to support gun control legislation. you have now cofounded "leaders we deserve" pac. >> yes. >> michael: tell us, what is that? >> it is basically the second step in our process. we worked with march our lives to help elect better people for change gun laws but our generation is getting old enough now that many of the young people that marched out with us that protested with us, and

organized in 2018 in the largest student protest in american history, are now old enough to run for office. so my philosophy -- [cheers and applause] my philosophy around that is if our government is not willing to change gun laws, then it is time to change who is in government. >> michael: oh, shit. oh, shit. [cheers and applause] >> and the way we do that, michael, is we help fund great, generational leaders under the age of 30 for state legislature and under the age of 35 for congress, people like congresswoman maxwell frost and soon to be congresswoman sarah mcbride in delaware. [cheers and applause] we work with them on a day-to-day basis on everything they need to be able to win. >> michael: you are tired of old people having a monopoly of power in our government. but isn't one of the solutions just waiting? >> well, funny enough, i think that that is our long-term plan, ultimately. [laughter] you know -- >> michael: guys, stick it out. they are going to die. >> exactly.

but it's about creating an intergenerational coalition in our government. so many of the greatest presidents we've ever had, whether that was abraham lincoln, he was 25 but he was first elected to the illinois state house. lbj was 28 when he was first elected to congress. joe biden, and i know this is hard to believe for the younger people, was 29 when he was first elected. and those men went on to be so successful, i believe, because they started when they were so young. it makes sense. >> michael: silly question. do young people want to run for office? because it seems to me -- and i am an old man -- it seems like every young person i see is just on tiktok. >> well, they are certainly on tiktok. >> michael: yes. [laughs] >> but they are also engaging with all kinds of things on there because they'll want to help create a better world, ultimately. we see young people over the past several years, ever since donald trump got elected, march for their lives in the form of march for our lives. we have seen them protest to fight for action on climate change and so much more, and

ultimately, we have grown up hearing the mantra -- gen z was taught alongside our abcs, the mantra of "run, hide, and fight." i think it is our time for our generation to repurpose that and realize, we have a responsibility not to hide from the responsibility to protect the next generation so that they don't go through this. we have to fight to create that future. and if necessary, we need to run for office to make that future a reality. [cheers and applause] >> michael: you are a survivor of the parkland shooting in 2018. since then, depending on how you define a mass shooting, there has been 54 more mass shootings in this country. this could be very disheartening. yet when i see you and i meet you, when i see you on tv or anywhere, you seem resilient, you seem inspired. you don't seem disheartened. tell me, what is the trick? how do you stay up? because it can break you. >> it can. >> michael: you know that better than anybody. >> it can. and i'm going to be completely

honest with you, michael, in that truly, it is things like "the daily show." >> michael: good answer. >> no, but truly. the reason why i say that is because there is so much negativity and vitriol in the media constantly. it is hard to watch when it feels like you're being told constantly, the world is on fire but you still need to be informed. one thing that was really hard for me to learn from it the hardest thing for me to learn after the shooting -- i think this goes for a lot of my classmates -- is that it's okay to be happy, no matter what you have gone through. [applause] and i say that because i have learned, it is an absolute -- happiness, joy are not antithetical to progress, no matter how hard the issue is that you are working on. they are an essential part of it. that was a hard lesson to learn. because -- [cheers and applause] thank you. because i know that talking to people like dolores huerta, i asked her, what is the most

important thing that you can tell other young people, other activists for them to know? she said the most important thing is that you have to make people believe that change is actually possible. we can reinstate things like roe vs. wade, so we can overturn things like d.c. versus heller. we can repeal all of these insane decisions. >> michael: keep it up. [cheers and applause] the positivity is there. for more information, check out leaderswedeserve.com. david hogg, everybody. we are going to take a quick break. we will be right back. [cheers and applause]

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♪ "black” by the soft moon ♪ ♪ ♪ don't care what ♪ ♪ don't care what they have to say ♪ [cheers and applause] >> michael: that's our show for tonight, but before we go: "the daily show"'s official "indecision 2024" merch just dropped. proceeds will benefit headcount, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization that promotes voter registration. if you want to support headcount and look great on election day, scan the qr code or head to the link below. now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> and it is because of my love for our country, and specifically because of the leadership that president trump has brought to transform the republican party and bring it back to the party of the people and the party of peace, that i am proud to stand here with you

today, president trump, and announce that i am joining the republican party. [cheers and applause] >> sorry. [upbeat hip-hop music] - in the '80s, my number one rule was to avoid bullies at all costs. i avoided them at home. - hey! - chris did it. mama, get your belt. - i avoided bullies on the block. - yo, let me hold a dollar. - i'm gonna jaywalk. [grunts] [handcuffs clink] and i definitely tried to avoid the bullies at school. - whoa, look, it's rick lames. - eep. [hums] so when a new freshman who bullied like a senior showed up, i was ready. - yo, bitch. - black power. [grunts] [handcuffs clink]

- aww, my maternity muumuu. i guess the last time i packed for a trip was when i gave birth to tonya. - how are you going on a work trip? i thought you were gonna get severance money to buy me singing lessons for the spring musical. - i am, sweetie. mama's working really hard to get laid off. but yesterday my boss announced an all-expense-paid corporate retreat... [all cheer] aka a free vacation. so that severance plan is on hold. aww, i think this is tonya's umbilical cord. - are you sure you wanna go on vacation without us? we're your whole world. - the retreat's in philly, right by the factory where they make my chocolate turtles. now while i'm gone, if you two don't know what to make for dinner, tell chris. if you stub your toe, tell chris. and if you can't find chris, tell chris. - rochelle, i can handle it. you won't have to worry about a thing, except these items i want you to borrow. - hotel towels, hotel pillows, a hotel robe? - what? i wanna look like michael douglas in "wall street." [rock music]