it has fresh never frozen beef that's — wait for it — square! are you ready? i'm ready! and i'm ready! for the krabby patty kollab meal you're craving - gotta be wendy's. for the krabby patty kollab meal you're craving - and i'm sorry about fuddruckers. it won't happen again. because nothing means more to me than my family. oh, peter. that's wonderful. what helped you come around? well, lois, let's just say the big man upstairs put in a hard day's work today. well, looks like quitting time. good night, kirk cameron. see you tomorrow, gene rayburn. see you when the sun rises, james bro, mamma mia! ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, ronny chieng! ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> ronny: hey, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm ronny chieng. we've got so much to talk about tonight. everyone's voted but you, puerto rico might decide the election, and trump doesn't know why you people keep calling him the n-word. plus, we sent triumph the insult comedy dog to maga square garden. so let's get into the final week of "indecision 2024!" ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] we are now just one week from election day, but the election is actually well under way. over 50 million people have already voted early. these days, election day is like a white woman's birthday. you got to celebrate it for a whole [bleep] month. but there's still a ton of people who haven't voted yet. and for those people, one late-breaking controversy could actually end up making a difference.

>> days of backlash after a comedian's racist joke about puerto rico at a trump rally. >> they are seeing this backlash breakthrough in a way that they have not seen yet this cycle. >> puerto rico fallout spreading like wildfire in pennsylvania >> superstars like bad bunny, j.lo, and ricky martin took to social media and their hundreds of millions of followers, blasting out support for vice president harris. >> jeanmarie lugo says the joke sealed her vote for harris. >> i finally said, no, i have to be on the right side of the history. >> she has lived in philadelphia for 20 years and was leaning towards trump until the comments. >> ronny: wow, this woman was leaning towards trump, and now she's voting kamala because of that one joke! she was like, "i don't mind racism, but i draw the line at racism." this one offensive joke about puerto rico being a garbage island seems to have really broken through in a way that almost nothing else has.

i mean, after all the speeches, interviews, energy, ads, billions and billions of dollars people just ignored almost everything. but this joke somehow broke through the noise. as a master political satirist myself, i'm extremely jealous. because all we do jokes all the time and it changes nothing. what was the difference maker here, the target? tell me which country to shit on, i'll do it! hey, australia, you're the garbage island! anything? anyone? did that move the needle? how is our engagements? this joke looks like it could have a lasting effect on the race. and i get why puerto ricans are upset, but it's still crazy to me that a joke from trump's warm-up guy seems to be having more of an impact than trump's actual terrible record on puerto rico. i mean, his administration blocked puerto rico from receiving hurricane relief, then

trump went down there and tossed paper towels into the crowd, i guess to help them soak up the hurricane? and to top it all off, trump tried to trade puerto rico for greenland! i mean, he would rather -- that's not a good thing. don't applaud that. he would rather have a frozen wasteland than a tropical paradise full of brown people with good music. what a [bleep] stupid idea. no one in greenland can play shortstop! so will this affect the race? we'll see what happens. but in the meantime, the joke from that msg rally that really got my attention was actually this one. >> you know what? kamala harris, she's just -- she got 85 million votes because she's just so impressive. as the first samoan, malaysian, low iq former california prosecutor ever to be elected president.

[boos] >> ronny: big mistake, buddy. i'm malaysian, and the rock is samoan. that's right. [cheers and applause] now you're insulting two of the biggest movie stars on the planet. get ready for the backlash, baby. [cheers and applause] but the msg rally came at a bad time for trump. because last week, his former chief of staff, john kelly, said that trump praised hitler's generals. cool, thanks for finally going on the record five years later, general john kelly. anything else you want to warn us about? maybe a suspicious bag on the subway in 2004? but now, people are comparing the rhetoric at the msg rally to another msg rally in 1939, that involved, you guessed it, nazis. which is the worst thing to happen at the garden other than 20 years of the knicks. this all has placed trump on the

defensive. >> the newest line from kamala and her campaign is that everyone who isn't voting for her is a nazi. we're nazis. [boos] "he's hitler!" and then they say, "he's a nazi!" i'm not a nazi. i'm the opposite of a nazi. i don't know. >> ronny: i mean, yeah, of course trump is not a nazi. they all famously served in the military. exactly. [cheers and applause] but what exactly is the opposite of a nazi? is it the guy who started j-date because you're trying to make more jews? or is it like a guy who has the reverse mustache? everything else but not that part? but still, the question remains, is donald trump a nazi?

according to j.d. vance, the only way to talk to the people who actually fought the nazis while they were in the middle of fighting the nazis. >> now when these guys were fighting the actual nazis back in 1944, i wonder what they would think about the kamala harris campaign. i'd like kamala harris to go back in time and hop on that boat and say that she wants taxpayer-funded sex reassignment surgeries for illegal aliens. and i'd like to hear the response of those brave men. >> ronny: yeah, i feel like they might have other things they'd want to talk about first. like, "you're from the future? can you tell me the enemy's exact position and if any of these bullets are going to hit me right now? also bitcoin? is that a thing or not?" and by the way, this is an interesting debate because kamala has actually never called trump "hitler." j.d. vance did, though!

[cheers and applause] if j.d. vance has got a time machine, maybe he should go back in time and tell himself to shut the [bleep] up. or who knows. maybe he got it right the first time. but j.d. vance wasn't the only one talking about time travel. rfk jr., the legend, also chimed in, with the weirdest reason for not comparing trump to hitler. >> so many of us, when he would were kids in this country, were -- asked to answer the-- to consider the moral quandary, would you, if you could go back in time, would you kill baby hitler, before he could do all the damage? and most of us answered, "yeah, we would do that." so when you compare an american political figure to hitler who was about to become president, you know, the kind of people who are, you know, who are already a little unstable, you're really

suggesting to them that this man should be killed before he gets into office. >> ronny: man, you thought my accent was bad. wait, you shouldn't call trump "hitler" because someone will go back in time and kill baby trump? i don't know. even by rfk standards, that makes no sense. it sounds like his brain worm get a brain worm. most people would kill baby hitler, but only rfk jr. would then drop baby hitler in central park and make it look like a bike accident. for more on rfk's comments about why we can't call trump a nazi, let's go live to grace kuhlenschmidt. grace! [cheers and applause] grace, grace. wait, where are you right now? >> not where am i, ronny. but when am i? the answer: 1946, in baby donald trump's nursery. shh, shh.

it's okay, little itty bitty boo bah. mama's here. >> ronny: grace, what the [bleep]? how did you go back in time? >> i know, right? >> ronny: okay, well, what are you doing with baby trump? >> well, i heard what rfk said, and it gave me a great idea. not the first time rfk has done that. >> ronny: oh, my god, grace. you're not going to do what i think you're going to do, are you? >> what? no, no, no! oh, my god. i would never hurt a baby. i have dropped him several times by accident. but no, i'm here to kidnap baby trump and protect him from all the unstable people who might come back in time to hurt him. baby hungy? want a sucky suck? >> ronny: wait, wait. i don't think you can just spontaneously breastfeed a baby that's not yours, grace. >> it's my body, ronny, it's my choice. >> ronny: okay, well, look, now that you've saved baby trump, what's your plan? >> i've decided i'm going to

raise him on my own. i'll teach him right from wrong, show him how to respect women, and find him a non-violent hobby, like baby modeling. if i can do all this, maybe he'll become the leader our country deserves! >> and lead he shall, grace! and lead he shall! >> ronny: wait, wait. who's that? oh, troy iwata, everybody. [cheers and applause] troy, where are you reporting from? >> not where am i, ronny. but when am i? >> ronny: shut the [bleep] up and tell me where you are. >> i'm from the alternate timeline where grace successfully raises baby trump. >> ronny: oh, god, another multiverse? [bleep] marvel. thank you for everything you do. >> and thank you, grace, for changing the world. you're a hero here! everyone here knows your name. grace kul -- [indistinct mumbling] >> ronny: wow, that's great! so troy, is the timeline good? >> it's great. everyone is so kind. there's no global warming.

we all have flying cars that you can have sex with. last night, good trump held a rally at madison square garden, and his opening joke was: "you know what the worst thing about puerto rico is? i don't get to spend enough time there." >> ronny: oh, wow. grace, i guess you did it! you must be so proud. >> we are forever in your debt, grace. you saved the world. >> thank you, troy! quick question, though, what is happening with your hair? >> i know, right? hot, right? all is right in the world, president trump is sweet as pie, and we all have this really chic haircut. >> everyone has that haircut? >> literally everyone. it's the only haircut in this timeline. >> it looks dumb as shit. i'm sorry! i can't do this. if my actions are what caused that haircut, then i'm out. >> grace! no! >> ronny: wait, grace, why did you do that?

[cheers and applause] that was our last chance to save the world. >> not worth the haircut, ronny. i'm coming back to the future -- oh! that's why it's called that! >> ronny: grace kuhlenscmidt and troy iwata, everyone! [cheers and applause] when we come back, triumph goes to madison square garden. you don't want to miss it. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> ronny: hey, welcome back to "the daily show." everyone is talking about trump's rally at madison square garden, but what did the people who actually went there think? to find out, we sent over our special correspondent, triumph the insult comic dog. >> we are here outside madison square garden witnessing a caravan of migrants invading manhattan. i didn't think it was possible to have more white people here than a rangers game. the last time donald trump had this many new yorkers in the palm of his hand, he was doing it to impress jeffrey epstein. >> trump rally to the right, folks! come on! okay. sorry. wait, wait. stand right here. you are good, you are good. okay. [chanting "usa"] >> look at you. my goodness. look at this get up. holy crap. i almost wore that. thankfully, my meds kicked in. [laughter]

because it is absurd! where are you two from? >> annapolis, maryland. >> oh, out of towners. so tell me, since you arrived in new york city, how many times have you been murdered? [laughter] >> so you are a big trump fan. >> yes. >> i tell you what, at least trump is the legitimate nominee. kamala, you know, it was like a coup, right? they handed her the nomination. >> you are right. >> but she still has to get past trump, which for a woman, is very hard to do without pepper spray. everyone outside is like, it is a nazi rally. >> that is true. >> this is nothing like a nazi rally. this nazis were in shape, first of all. they took care of themselves, unlike this guy over here. seriously, when i look at you, makes me think the groceries aren't expensive enough. i kid. i kid. it is not a nazi rally. i hate when people use that term, when they call trump a nazi. he is the candidate preferred by

nazis. ♪ ♪ the democrats are running on abortion a lot, right? that is a big issue in this election. what would you say to people worried about losing that right? aside from, what is it like to have sex? >> foreigners are destroying american jobs. >> it's true. >> did you know that just one illegal immigrant cost 6,000 people to lose their jobs at twitter? this guy, elon something. >> that is a good point. >> what is the biggest seller today? >> right here. this one, this one, and all the hats. >> you know what, though, i've got some merch. >> what do you got? >> if he loses, "the election was stolen." what if he wins, you say? look. "the election was not stolen." how about this one? to commemorate the trump rally at madison square garden, "i am with 20,000 stupids." all around. i think it is going to be a big seller.

we've got to fix you up with some merch. i am selling marge, you know. especially you here. here's what i got for you. trump condoms. there you go. here's what they look like. you know, they have more value if you keep them in the wrapper. which i'm sure you will not have any problem doing. you can also have this. these are the arnold palmer sized. do you know rfk jr.? >> yeah, rfk. >> if you like rfk, raise your hand as far as the polio will allow. rfk is a real hero, isn't he? because being a hero is all about sacrifice. and that man has sacrificed every principle he ever had to endorse donald trump. between him and me, that is two of us who have had their balls cut off. >> how much better is kamala? >> donald trump doesn't need notes. >> donald trump does not need notes to stand and wander around the stage while "ave maria" plays six times. you are absolutely right. >> you can't put a soundtrack of laughter under this. >> oh, i don't need one. listen to the people.

let me hear you, "daily show"! [cheers and applause] trust me, the liberals are going nuts. [chanting "usa"] [chanting [bleep] joe biden] >> i got to say, it is a nice crowd with a lot of angry white guys here. got to admit. what do you think is less likely, that haitians are eating cats or that any of the guys here have ever eaten [bleep]? [laughter] >> why do you think trump -- >> put this guy in the bathroom. >> if you don't get the punch line -- >> i'm going to call up the new yorker! >> okay, these people are out of their minds. i'm going to have to change into something that would command more respect out over here. okay, let's do this! how's everybody doing, huh! trump, trump, trump! here we go! look at my old friend! we both took a poop on nancy pelosi's desk! right? i don't remember. come on!

what a dump we took in there. [cheers and applause] >> we are storming the capitol! >> i want to storm a schnauzer's vagina! who is with me? folks, we are on the verge of something very special. can you feel it? you know the other side will talk about record low unemployment. record high stock market, infrastructure, blah, blah, blah. but this election is more than about issues that "affect us." this election is personal. am i right? >> yeah! [cheers and applause] >> it is about sticking it to those elitist liberals! [cheers and applause] but you know what, on november 5th, those elitists, they are going to be the ones crying, and we are going to be the ones drinking. [cheers and applause] liberal tears! liberal tears! ♪ liberal tears ♪ everybody!

♪ liberal tears ♪ ♪ i love them salty ♪ ♪ liberal tears ♪ ♪ i won't have medicare in two years ♪ ♪ but at least i'll know that there's liberal tears ♪ ♪ liberal tears ♪ ♪ liberal tears ♪ ♪ l-i-b-e-r-u-l tears ♪ ♪ the world is in the shitter but i am frightful and bitter ♪ ♪ we are all throwing mud and the oceans are flooding ♪ ♪ and just as a bonus ♪ ♪ five billionaires own us ♪ ♪ my candidate is lying ♪ ♪ the planet is dying ♪ ♪ but liberals are crying ♪ ♪ so i said ♪ ♪ three cheers ♪ ♪ hip, hip, hooray ♪ ♪ because my dream ♪ ♪ is to drown ♪ ♪ in them ♪ ♪ liberal tears ♪ [cheers and applause] oh, yes! liberal tears! [cheers and applause] >> ronny: thank you, triumph. when we come back,

maria teresa kumar will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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on your period, sudden gushes happen. say goodbye gush fears! thanks to always ultra thins. with rapid dry technology that absorbs 2x faster. hello, clean and comfortable. always. fear no gush. thank you. thank you for trusting us with your secret recipes and shared moments. thank you for bringing us into your homes and into your hearts for nearly 150 years. thank you for making quaker a part of your family. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the co-founder and president of voto latino. please welcome maria teresa kumar! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ thanks for being on the show! [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] thanks for being on the show!

>> thanks for having me on. >> ronny: you are latino, your last name is kumar. >> it blows everybody's mind. >> ronny: i guess it means to the ultimate brown person. >> my children, because they are half jewish, they are a quarter south asian -- a quarter south asian, a quarter jewish, and then all latino. >> ronny: there you go. brown is brown. >> america! [laughs] >> ronny: asians and latinos. we are like the meme. so similarities with asians, when people talk about the asian voting bloc, i always tell them, we are not a real monolith. there are lots of different types of asians. i assume the same with latinos. >> latinos, if the colombian soccer team is playing, that is who i cheer for. don't tell me that it is better for the puerto ricans or the dominicans because colombia's is better. you know what we are not a monolith, but we are a monolith when it comes to latino rights. all latinos come together.

>> ronny: are they confident that they don't skew 50-50? >> they are absolutely not 50-50. i will tell you, the last poll we took, would you look at young latino voters, 70% of them prefer kamala harris. 7 out of 10. [cheers and applause] so our job is to get them out. >> ronny: yeah, so today is national vote early day. you are with the organization, voto latino, you want to tell us a bit about what you guys do? >> we basically, in 2010, the census said that latinos were the second largest demographic of the voters -- of americans, but we did not come of age until 2018. so we got to work. we said, where are the possibilities of moving elections? we register voters all the time. we mobilize them and inform them. our democracy is a relationship. how we nurture it is with our vote. >> ronny: i would just like to ask you, what would you want to say to conservative latino voters right now who might be on the fence? what would you tell them? >> so my grandmother says,

you are who your friends are. and so if donald trump's friends are calling our community garbage, if they are talking about mass deportation, if they are talking about this idea of separating families or deporting whole families, they are talking about you. the moment you step out that door, you present as brown and our job right now is to safeguard our democracy. if kamala harris can bring dick cheney and aoc under one tent, that is a call for our democracy right now. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: voto latino president maria teresa kumar, everybody! [cheers and applause] we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ brisket is back at chipotle.

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