which i don't. thank you, glenn. all right! what do you say we all celebrate with a game of mini racquetball? wait. is mini racquetball just ping-pong? kind of. boy, it's good to have the gang together again. yeah, welcome home, buddy. man, i missed sitting around, just shooting the breeze. hey, so how'd you get your house back? -this ought to be good. -i suspended escrow. oh. hey, guys, you know that egg dish i was talking about? turns out that was just a dream i had. >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central, it's america's only source for news! this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic!

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to the dail [cheers and applause] show, i'm desi lydic. i slept two hours last night and feel like [bleep]. but here we are! let's get right into it. with indecision 2024! decision addition! is it too late to un-decide? [laughter] well if you're just joining me in this waking nightmare, yesterday was election day. we were all hoping it would make history, and boy, did it ever. >> mr. trump made history last night. he will be the first convicted felon to be president of the united states. [boos]

>> desi: yep, it's official. america elected its first criminal president before electing its first female president. what a day for proud felonists. [laughter] what the actual [bleep], america?! we've had two qualified accomplished women nominated for president, and both times they lost to the worst man in the whole country. [cheers and applause] at this point, it's starting to feel like we're gonna get every other first before we get a first woman president. first amish president. first wahlberg president. hey, there's no rule that says a dog can't be president. as long as it's a boy dog. but instead of breaking the glass ceiling, last night

america decided to get back with her dirtbag ex. and i had no idea how much she missed him. >> overnight a stunning victory for donald trump. >> blowing through the so-called blue wall of midwest states. >> in county after county across the country, improving on his margin of victory in past races. >> suburban areas, rural areas, even big cities and-and bluer parts of the map all tipped in his direction. >> it is a sweeping and stunning victory unlike any in our history. it will be studied and debated for generations. >> desi: aw, we're gonna last generations! that's the optimism i was looking for. thanks george slopadopolis, that's your legal name now. but that's right, trump is on track to win evry single swing state and the popular vote. just like the relationship between trump and eric, this one wasn't close at all. oh my god, i can't believe we have to do 4 more years of eric jokes! [bleep] me!

[cheering and laughter] but just think about what happened here: america voted this guy out in 2020. and what has he done since then? he tried to overthrow the government he was convicted of 34 felonies he spent an entire campaign promising vengeance against his enemies, and if you're wondering who, after all that, would want him back, well buckle up, it's a long list. >> the former president winning with a coalition driven by white voters, men and first-time voters. >> young men in union households. >> those older voters. >> voters aged 45 to 64. >> those younger than the age of 30. >> black men, latino men, suburban women, arab americans, and white men. >> desi: so all of america. you just listed all of america. it seems the only groups you can't blame for trump's victory are black women and people in

comas. oh, and puppies. or puppies in comas. goddammit! i just made myself sadder. so it's undeniable that trump gained with practically every demographic. it's a mind-boggling result, but thankfully, cable news is on 24 hours a day, so pundits can incessantly play the blame game. how'd this happen? >> i think democrats went way too far to the left. >> desi: got it, kamala was too far left, didn't embrace centrists. >> it is perhaps the strategy so forcefully embracing republicans, like the liz cheneys. >> desi: okay, sorry, i see she embraced centrists too much. what else? >> she wouldn't really stand and back the, the israelis. >> desi: so she wasn't pro-israel enough. >> the base of the party it cares about gaza and they -- by not bringing a palestinian on

stage at the dnc these are not the val-, the base values of the democratic party. >> desi: or pro-palestinian enough. okay was that it? >> i think that kamala harris had this albatross around her neck and it was joe biden. she couldn't distance herself from biden and couldn't think of anything that she would have done differently. >> desi: right, i see it now, kamala didn't distance herself enough from joe biden. and lemme guess >> it is probably not the best idea that democrats orchestrated a very public stab fest, a proverbial stabbing in the front of the sitting president of the united states of america and then didn't use him in his hometown of scranton, pennsylvania. >> desi: mhm, mhm, she betrayed joe biden but was also too close to joe biden. yes this is all making sense, if i just put all the pieces together: who [bleep] knows? who knows!

[cheers and applause] look, as productive as this feels right now, i'm not really interested in gaming out how exactly this happened. this defeat was so resounding that you could literally say anything and it would sound plausible. she should have picked moo deng for her vp. she should have gone on the hawk tuah girl's podcast. wisconsin too much. sure, that makes sense. why not? honestly, i don't really care why she lost, i care why he won. [applause] we've spent so much time diagnosing donald trump and what his actions say about him, "he's a dictator. he's a fascist. he's a malignant narcissist whose blood type is fryer oil."

but it's pretty clear that america is the one that needs the diagnosis, because whatever's wrong with him, we [bleep] love it. in this moment, donald trump is holding up a mirror to the american people and it might be time to take a good leap hard look. and i'm sorry, i told myself the show would be uplifting tonight and give people hope and inspiration. unfortunately i'm too depressed and quite frankly very, very hungover. [cheers and applause] but it's times like these when i can lean on the wisdom and support and vision of the best [bleep] news team in the world. [cheers and applause] they're out across the country right now, so let's go out to them. we'll start with troy iwata.

troy, it's up to you: [cheers and applause] please, give us something! let's hear some optimism and hope to lift our spirits. [laughter] >> lift spirits? i thought i was reporting on senate results. >> desi: no, we don't need that right now. we need someone to find the perfect words to explain to us why everything is going to be okay, so go. >> don't put that on me! i can't help anyone! i can't even help myself! i'm a deep pit of despair, don't look at me! i'm still wearing yesterday's bowtie. i am a mess. go ask kosta, he's been here longer. >> desi: okay michael kosta, let's go to you. [cheers and applause] say something that will single-handedly fill us with

joy! >> uh... pass. [laughter] i pass on that. that is way too much pressure for ol' kosta. i didn't even vote! [boos] buuuut you know what? grace said something this morning that really made my heart soar or whatever [bleep] you're looking for. let's go to grace! >> desi: okay grace kuhlenschmidt, let's go to you: i can't wait to hear your words of comfort. >> i didn't say anything to comfort kosta! i just asked to borrow a phone charger! uh, okay, uh, comfort comfort, got it... we will not go quietly into the night! [cheers and applause] we will not vanish without a fight! we're going to live on! we're going to survive! today, we celebrate our independence day!

>> desi: no no no, that's bill pullman's speech from independence day. that doesn't count, it has to be your words. >> desi, come on. i don't know how to give a rousing speech. i'm... i'm just a girl. standing in front of a boy. asking him to love her. >> desi: that's notting hill. you blew it, grace. josh, what about you? >> don't worry, desi. i got this. [laughter] you ever go to the clinic thinking you have herpes and

then you find out you do have herpes? >> desi: no. >> it's kind of nice. because at least now you know. [cheers and applause] was that inspiring? >> desi: no! not at all. please josh, give me something! >> yeah, uh... hold on for a second... can't talk right now, desi. my mouth is full. >> desi: you took that bite on purpose! let's go to jordan klepper. >> god damn it, josh! [cheers and applause] fine, okay. yes, desi, i'll be happy to inspire you, just hold on for a second...

>> desi: you spit that out, spit it out spit it out, klepper! -- you say something inspiring right now, young man! >> fine. fine. desi...listen... i'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking -- >> desi: no no no, inspire the nation. >> i don't have the words for that, desi! but you know what, the way you were talking earlier about how we as a news team are inspiring to each other, that was some soaring rhetoric. let's go to desi lydic for that. [cheers and applause] >> desi: no, you can't throw to me, i'm the host! i throw to you! >> i throw to you! >> desi: i throw to you! >> i throw to you! >> okay, i'll do it, you babies! [cheers and applause]

>> desi: ronny chieng, thank you! would please say something to inspire our spirits? >> it's easy! i got it, give me some music. ♪ ♪ america, i love you. if you are feeling upset, or hurt, or depressed about the turn toward fascism that your beloved homeland is taking, then all you have to do is this: just look into your heart and you take out your foreign passport. [cheers and applause] and you go back to malaysia

where you came from until trump leaves office. [cheers and applause] >> desi: ronny, we don't all have malaysian passports. how is that inspiring to us? >> i dunno, it's inspiring to me! later, [bleep]! >> desi: all right, that might be the best we can do. the daily show news team! when we come back, we find out how to not care. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

mmmm, kinda needs to be more...squiggly? perfect! so now, do you have a driver's license? oh, what did you get us? with the click of a pen, you can get a new volkswagen at the sign then drive event. lease a 2024 taos for zero down, zero deposit, zero first month's payment and zero due at signing. limited inventory available.

welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. at harbor freight, we design and test our own tools

and sell them directly to you. no middleman. just quality tools you can trust at prices you'll love. whatever you do, do it for less at harbor freight. ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to the daily show. a lot of voters got what they wanted yesterday, and many didn't. but there was a third group. grace kuhlenschimdt has more. >> every election leaves a third of the country feeling like complete [bleep]. but is a large group of people who have immunized themselves against political disappointment, their strategy is surprisingly effective. >> i am choosing not to vote. >> i'm not voting for anyone. >> i just don't want to play the politics game. i took the word political and blocked it on all social media. i have no clue. >> you block to the word political. >> yes.

>> they practice political abstinence for a range of reasons. >> is there a reason you're not voting? >> not really into politicians. i just became really disgusted with the whole political process. >> we waste way too much time and money and energy trying to get somebody in the white house when what we should be doing is focusing on our community. >> did you think about voting for your local election? [laughter] >> i don't think either of them are good leaders. one of them is definitely going to bring about more violence. >> one candidate leading to more violence he didn't get you to vote? >> yeah, i don't know why. it didn't. >> most people resented choosing between two candidates didn't like about this nonvoter had the opposite problem. >> either way we have to go great candidates. one is an accomplished attorney and one is an accomplished businessperson but i feel like we need both skills. >> if we have an attorney

businessperson you would vote for them? that makes sense. have you voted in past elections? >> i have. >> you're choosing not to vote in the selection because why? >> i have detoxed myself from a lot of toxicity which includes live television news, that kind of thing recently. when you think about lowering toxicity is about digesting it comes from what we eat and consume which is also what we see, what we hear. >> i'm honestly genuinely inspired and i want to learn how to get toxicity out. >> i have been having diarrhea for months. >> nonvoting could cure my diarrhea? nonpolitics how could i meaningfully spend my time? >> if you don't pay attention to politics what kind of stuff do you follow? >> christianity and music. >> what kind of stuff about christianity do you follow, updates on the bible and stuff? [laughter] >> i'm reading a lot of james baldwin. >> james baldwin the humble

brag. >> i recommend all americans read it. >> you're not voting, i feel it you can't really tell me how to be better. what is your pitch to people, they don't want to worry about politics either? >> stop giving a [bleep], that's it. >> it's that easy. >> if you don't follow politics what are you looking at on your phone to get dopamine. >> chess videos. >> i didn't know you like chess, i had no idea. [laughter] i've never even played chess before. >> sorry loser but winning isn't everything. the good news is at least will get to play another, someday. [cheers and applause] >> desi: thank you, grace. when we come back, tressie mcmillan cottom will be joining me on the show. me on the show. so don't go away.

this is sam adams just the haze ipa. best non alcoholic beer in america. whooo. your cousin. from boston. whooo. champions, baby! we won an award! it's sam season! (man) at total wireless, we got your back every day. just look at the facts. we run on the network with america's fastest 5g speeds.

they don't. fact them. we'll give you up to 4 free 5g phones. they don't. fact them. get the facts, then switch to total wireless.

ketchup in my opinion, it's the epitome of where art meets science. everything from flavor, to color, to texture.... is scrutinized. am i a ketchup nerd? absolutely. i think we need a bigger yard, with our credit? ow, ow, ow, ow.

credit karma can show us how to improve our credit for free, then we can get a place with a bigger yard. yay. intuit credit karma. download the app today. i got this $1,000 camera for only $41 on dealdash. dealdash.com, online auctions since 2009. this playstation 5 sold for only 50 cents. this ipad pro sold for less than $34. and this nintendo switch, sold for less than $20. i got this kitchenaid stand mixer for only $56. i got this bbq smoker for 26 bucks. and shipping is always free. go to dealdash.com right now and see how much you can save. ( ♪♪ ) woman: skating is my life and falling is a part of skating. there's a story behind every mark. movement leaves marks. your antiperspirant shouldn't. degree ultraclear. nonstop protection against white marks. (♪♪) it's big, its back, and it's only $6.

get the big box y'all love today! and this holiday season you can order a cajun style turkey at your local popeyes. ♪love that chicken from popeyes♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is an award-winning author, sociologist, unc professor, and cultural critic who's also a new york times opinion columnist. please welcome tressie mcmillan cottom! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> hey. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> desi: tressie, i was hoping to have a different conversation with you today. >> as was i, as was i. >> desi: you wrote a piece in

the times just today and you said it is time for us to accept that american politics is identity politics. tell us what you meant by that. >> i meant we have spent a lot of time and by week, i mean myself, people in the media, academics, researchers and politicians certainly have spent a lot of time saying identity politics is dangerous or at least its murky. this is why we said occupy was a distraction for the democrats, black lives matter was a distraction for the democrats. the feminist movement is a distraction for the democrats because they won't focus on real issues that matter to real americans. the problem with that is you assume the only people with an identity are women and people of color. as donald trump has proven, what he has proven in the way he has won is every voter has an identity. every voter has an identity and he tapped into one of the most powerful of american identities,

he tapped into white identity. he said you don't need to be ashamed of this identity, i'm going to give it a name i'm going to make you feel good about it, you don't have to sacrifice a thing. donald trump played identity politics like a fiddle. when you say the democrats lose because we play identity politics it simply isn't true. this is about whose identities win when you appeal to them. that means you should double down on identities of your base. you should go out to them, something i think democrats really only did cosmetically this time. but take seriously what the members of your base want based on who they are and how they view themselves. i think if we did that we would have understood why young men are anxious. i think we would have understood why young women could be afraid of a post-dobbs america but not think the woman president would help them, right? i think if you appeal to more directly to people's identities and how they see their identities, then you can play

the game trump has played but without all the nefarious self-serving self-aggrandizement. >> desi: where do we go from here? >> there is where i think we are going to go and there's where i hope we are going to go. i think where we are going to go is a lot of blaming for the next couple of years. i don't think kamala harris deserves blame. this was a historically odd, short campaign cycle for a relatively unknown candidate at the federal level. i don't think i do and does either, this is where we are. i suspect it's going to be too attractive not to do the blaming because were republicans didn't just do well, they did very well. talking about trump but house and senate, the did very well. a lot of people were able to parse the difference between defending abortion but also voting for trump. >> desi: right. >> that means people can do nuance, that is the upside to. >> desi: that's not how i looked at it but thank you, that's helping.

>> if you give them a story that doesn't challenge their identity too much, they're able to split a ticket, i think that's good news for democrats who are going to need a lot of split tickets coming up. one of the things that i hope happens on the other side hope democrats go back and make peace with the people in their party who tried to say these are the things that matter to us. this is who we are, these are our identities and we are the people who vote for you. >> desi: yes. >> that's what i hope happens. >> desi: i do too. from your lips to god's ears. thank you so much for being on the show today. tressie mcmillan cottom. we are going to take a quick break but we will be right back after this. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

this is a payday bar. with tons of peanuts and caramel that get the job done. so you can think of it as a tool to hammer your hunger... ...cut your appetite in half... ...and demolish your urge for peanuts. payday. get to it. also try chocolatey payday welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind.

simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. samazon early holiday n deals are here. with everything you need to kick off the season. shop amazon early holiday deals now. ( ♪♪ ) woman: skating is my life and falling is a part of skating. there's a story behind every mark. movement leaves marks. your antiperspirant shouldn't. degree ultraclear. nonstop protection against white marks. when it looks different. feels different. it's because tostitos scoops! taste different. at the intersection of innovation and an invitation to dip, scoops! give you more of what you love and doesn't apologize for it. designed to be delicious. designed to take on any *crunch* life throws at you.

tostitos scoops! designed to dip at harbor freight, we do business differently from the other guys. we design and test our own tools and sell them directly to you. no middleman. just quality tools you can trust at prices you'll love. [cheers and applause] >> desi: that's our show for tonight. stay tuned tomorrow when ronny chieng will be your host. now here it is -- your moment of zen. >> you just voted. >> i did. >> who did you vote for? >> for harris. >> tell me about how you came to this decision? >> i wasn't going to vote at all

until my girlfriend was blowing up my phone telling me to go vote and if i didn't she was going to break up with me. now i'm here. >> was she seriously go to break up with you? >> i made that up, she didn't >> i made that up, she didn't say that. ♪ it seems today ♪ ♪ that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ [serene music playing] all right, time for 8:15 drop-off. now mommy's on a quick break till 3:30. [sighs] toughest job in the world. oh, look, kylie's mom is out of rehab.

good morning, little guy. hey, janet, good to see you. hey, listen, thank you so much for your apology email. an individual one would have been nice, but one to the whole class was fine, too. have a good day, stewie. [loud thud] oh, my god, please be a dog. please be a dog. [crying] ow. ow... oh, my god, it's a kid! it's doug! nice hit, bitch. oh, and elsa underwear. this day just keeps getting better! well, thank you all for coming. can i get anyone something to drink? i'm fine, but doug's mother would probably like three martinis, and then to have unprotected sex with her boss at work. and doug's father would love a glass of warm tap water and to never make more than $30,000 a year for the rest of his life. and here we go. okay, well, i am just so sorry about what happened with doug.