we've prepared a song for you. nope. oh, boy, it's nice to be home. sure is, lois. now, shush. tv. television? how pathetic. yeah. you know where the most interesting stuff is, dad? the human hat. [tv announcer] we now return to police chases... no, thank you, we are a screen-free family. ...that end in fire. [bleep] that's awesome! [sirens wailing] [groans] nobody look at him, and maybe he'll just leave. good job, people. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. we've got so much to talk about tonight. joe biden can't hear you scream, dr. oz is moving his practice to washington, and trump body-slams the department of education. so let's get into it with another installment of "trump 2.0: coming for the white house!" ♪ ♪ >> i'm going to come. [laughter] >> desi: we've got a lot of transition news, but first, let's check in with the guy currently transitioning out of the white house, joseph retirement biden. he just wrapped up a trip to... i don't know. it doesn't really matter anymore. but one reporter was still very

interested in hearing from him. >> mr. president, happy early birthday. for your birthday, will you talk to us, sir? as a gift to the press, will you please talk to us? mr. president! president biden! please! we haven't heard from you all trip! mr. president! >> desi: "mr. president! i love you! my mom drove me all the way from milwaukee to see you! i have a poster of you eating ice cream above my bed! please! please!" i have never heard a journalist shouting so frantically. to be fair, she does work for "the sinking into quicksand gazette." but let's talk about the man reporters will be shouting at for the next four years: donald trump. so far, he's made a number of cabinet picks whose main qualification seems to be being on tv. his defense secretary is a guy from "fox & friends." his transportation secretary is

a guy from fox business. and his attorney general is a guy who i'm pretty sure was on "to catch a predator." and apparently, he's still flipping channels. >> trump tapping yet another television personality to join his administration. this time, dr. mehmet oz. trump naming the tv doctor to oversee medicare and medicaid for more than 160 million americans. >> desi: okay, all right, but hold on. it could be worse. it could be worse. at least dr. oz is an actual doctor! i'm impressed he didn't pick dr. pepper. but is someone going to tell him that this isn't actually a doctor's job? this is running a vast insurance bureaucracy. if you have to pick someone from tv, at least pick the limu emu. come on. [cheers and applause] but hear him out. hear him out. what are dr. oz's qualifications for running a $1.4 trillion agency that affects the lives of

160 million people? >> in his statement, donald trump led by saying, dr. oz has won nine daytime emmys. >> desi: yeah, that adds up. that adds up. and even if this was a job you had to scrub in for, i'm not sure he'd be the doctor you want. >> in the early days of the pandemic, touted the drug hydroxychloroquine, which doesn't work against covid-19. columbia university cut ties, you may remember, with him several years after a group of colleagues accused him of manifesting "an egregious lack of integrity by promoting quack treatments and cures in the interest of personal financial gain." [audience reacts] >> desi: i hope he was promoting quack science for personal gain. it would be way weirder if he was doing it just for the love of the game. but yes, as anderson cooper points out, dr. oz has a long history of medical quackery. i wonder how people got the idea that he was a serious medical expert in the first place?

>> the first vaccines against the h1n1 virus are being distributed. are they safe? we'll let you ask the expert dr. mehmet oz, host of "the dr. oz show." >> the threat from drug-resistant bacteria. and out front tonight, we're lucky to have dr. oz, host of "the dr. oz show." >> we are back with the great dr. oz, and talking about a very critical thing for our audience, about finding a woman's g-spot. >> desi: no, thank you! i am good. i got it. i got it. i completely forgot cnn had that show "old guys talking pussy." it was on right after "crotch-fire." and of course, you can count on a guy named oz to know what's behind the curtains. [laughter] uh-huh, yeah, yeah. but listen, if you need a cnn segment to teach you how to make your wife orgasm, don't worry, she's been [bleep] the neighbor for six months.

[applause] and you might be saying, "relax, dr. oz doesn't have to know what he's doing. he'll have people around him who do." sure, except that dr. oz's boss will be rfk jr., who also doesn't know what the [bleep] he's doing. there's not going to be a layer of competent workers at some point. it's just celebrities all the way down! because donald trump isn't really picking leaders of agencies. he's just picking mascots. but nobody expects mr. met to actually pick up a bat and hit a ball. because, one, he would just be terrible at it, and two, you're basically asking him to hit his children. and he can't do that. and yes, mr. met is the father of every baseball, all with different mothers. what can i say? ironically, the guy hates to wear a glove. [laughter and applause] but to be fair, trump isn't just filling his cabinet with

daytime tv personalities. he's also hiring from pay-per-view. >> trump has also picked major republican donor and former pro wrestling executive who is helping with his transition, linda mcmahon, for education secretary. [audience reacts] >> desi: yeah, that's right, pro-wrestling executive linda mcmahon. you might remember her from being head of small business in trump's previous administration. or you might remember her from the time she kicked her husband in the balls. >> oh! >> desi: it's too bad that was fake, 'cause he's a monster. now, does linda mcmahon have expertise in education? no, of course not. she's being appointed to the department of education. why would she? but it doesn't matter anyway when you hear trump's plans. >> and one other thing i'll be doing very early in the administration is closing up the department of education. in total, american society pours more than a trillion dollars a

year into public education systems, but instead of being at the top of the list, we are literally right smack, guess what, at the bottom. [laughter] >> desi: did he just say "right smack at the bottom?" i thought "right smack" was more of a "middle" thing. that's like saying, "we are dead first, people! but if we're not careful, we could hit rock middle." but until trump dissolves the department, i guess linda mcmahon will be in charge. and we don't know what her policies will be exactly, but at least we know her position on child discipline. >> but mom, just remember. like you told me when i was a little girl, this is going to hurt me lot worse than it hurts you. >> desi: that is what i call

traditional family values. [cheers and applause] yes. so we'll see who else trump appoints to his cabinet in the days ahead, although the way things are trending, they'll probably be equally unqualified for the job. but good news, the trump transition team is getting ahead of it by releasing this orientation video. ♪ ♪ >> hi. i am deborah malone. and if you are watching this, you are a random television personality who donald trump just appointed to run a huge federal agency. right now, you might be wondering, how did i get this job? so i am just in charge now? and wait, what is my job again? so i can assure you, the answer to all of these questions is "i don't [bleep] know." i also was appointed to my job

without knowing what it is. trump saw me on the reverse mortgage out on fox news and here i am. [laughs] it is totally [bleep]. and while starting a job is never easy, there are two things to remember. one: we are all in the same boat. even if that boat is the titanic. and two: more than likely, someone else will [bleep] up worse than you. like rfk. i am pretty dumb, but that guy is -- that guy is dumb. best of luck! and thanks for watching. i am deborah malone, the... what does it say? secretary of internal communications. okay. wow. so that's what my job title is. awesome. good luck! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: when we come back, troy iwata finds out the right tip for every occasion. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

mmmm, kinda needs to be more...squiggly? perfect! so now, do you have a driver's license? oh, what did you get us? with the click of a pen, you can get a new volkswagen

at the sign then drive event. lease a 2024 tiguan for zero down, zero deposit, zero first month's payment and zero due at signing. limited inventory available.

kevin, where are you?! kevin?!?!?.... hey, what's going on? i'm right here! i was busy cashbacking for the holidays with chase freedom unlimited. you know i can't believe you lost another kevin. it's a holiday tradition! earn big time with chase freedom unlimited. how do you cashback? chase. make more of what's yours. [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." america is finally getting inflation under control, but there's one thing that always seems to be getting more expensive. troy iwata has more.

>> everyone is talking about the hottest new form of inflation. >> americans are suffering from so-called tipflation. >> notice being encouraged for a growing number of services. >> even self checkout kiosks. >> tipping is so hard, even the president-elect is talking about it. >> when i get to office, we are not going to charge taxes on tips. >> i don't know about you but personally, it has been stressing me out. >> don't be a cheapskate. >> you don't think they deserve a fair wage? >> desi: i don't deserve coffee. [crying] so i needed to hear if anyone else is stressed about the uptick in tipping requests and if they are dehydrated from crying too. >> it is a little much where you go somewhere and you are seeing tip charts are grocery stores. >> anywhere that i go to get lunch or coffee nowadays has an automatic tipping option. >> the biggest thing is the lowest percentage just keeps getting higher.

>> i saw even a tip system at a plant store. >> what have the plants done for us besides give us air to breathe? >> yeah. >> it looks like almost everyone not getting tips agrees about tipping. but do these hospitality workers noticed tipping popping up everywhere? >> it is everywhere. i'm waiting for their workers to be asking for a tip. [laughter] >> just by the way. [laughter] >> do you have any theory as to why that is happening? >> people need to live. people are struggling. we see it across the nation right now with so many different industries. >> all right. so everyone agrees, tipping is popping up everywhere and it sucks. so why not cancel the tip? >> we don't make enough so we look for the tip to all come together and make up for what we are not getting by the hour. and plus people need to realize that when you are tipping the waiter or the waitress, they also are paying the boxers and bartenders that need to be tipped from that tip that you are leasing as well. >> it is clear that tipping is overwhelming but how do we escape it?

and then i found it. lula cafe. a tip free haven, where all the employees had health care, and no one carried the decimal point. they just carried through to the table. [cheers and applause] so i sat down with owner jason to hear how he ran a restaurant without tips. >> well, we do still except tips. >> welcome a damn. >> we play a dual system of a service charge and tips. our service takes the reliance on tips away, so there is more pay equity. we are pretty busy, sizable restaurant, to create that sustainability. but if you are smaller, maybe it doesn't work for you. >> okay, i'm running out of [bleep] ideas by the president-elect did say something. all right, he was going to get rid of taxes on tips. >> i think putting a little bit of money back and attacked on my pockets is in such bad thing. >> love it. >> wholeheartedly agree. >> love. >> that was easy. so we just stop taxing tips. no problems whatsoever. >> it does feel kind of like it will incentivize companies to

have more tip workers or workers are rely more on tips than actually the company is paying. >> do you think if there was no federal taxes on tips, people look at their entire paycheck and tips? >> that is certainly a concern. >> back to square one. what else you got? >> if they just raise the minimum wage. >> it would just be better than collecting tips but i also think it is a much bigger issue overall, the federal minimum wage needs to be raised. >> easy. problem solved. >> when people are in the interest you are talking about it, they are linked, the owner should pay them more, but also the food service industry, the margins are incredibly thin. it would be really nice to pay someone $45 an hour, but unfortunately, that would shut down most places. >> don't you think that politicians could solve this by just raising the minimum wage? >> sure, and maybe some health care and that wo would be good. >> yeah. >> but we are not here to talk

about health care. >> well. [laughs] >> okay. so tipping is everywhere, more than ever, but people need tips to make a living because minimum wages so low and taxing tips is bound, but we need to raise the minimum wage first so companies don't resort to paying the tipped minimum on even more jobs which could result in tipped employees eating the consumer to tip more so they can make a living which will result in tipping being everywhere more than ever, so how much do i tip to make sure no one starts? it is all on me! >> are you okay? >> do i look okay? >> my big take away, i still don't know how much to tip! >> thank you so much for speaking with me. i don't know what 20%, 25, 18 -- >> you can go ahead and give us the wallet. we'll take care of it. just give us your wallet. [cheers and applause] >> desi: thank you, troy. when we come back, joey mcintyre will be joining me on the show. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

[chair deflates] [heels slam on floor] oh, wow. hey j, this project might need a bit of... zhuhzing... holler back, warren. [swoosh] please let me know your thoughts. best regards, warren. ♪ i am genius (whoaaa) ♪ this is a payday bar. with tons of peanuts and caramel that get the job done. so you can think of it as a tool to hammer your hunger... ...cut your appetite in half... ...and demolish your urge for peanuts.

payday. get to it. also try ( ♪♪ )atey payday woman: skating is my life and falling is a part of skating. there's a story behind every mark. movement leaves marks. your antiperspirant shouldn't. degree ultraclear. nonstop protection against white marks.

thank you. thank you for trusting us with your secret recipes and shared moments. thank you for bringing us into your homes and into your hearts for nearly 150 years.

thank you for making quaker a part of your family. the polar vortex is bringing a lot of snow. just be safe getting home. this storm will be here through the night, as will i. ♪♪ the december to remember sales event. get offers on select models. ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a member of the iconic boy band new kids on the block and an actor who stars in the new roku original film, "jingle bell love." >> so that it is two gingerbread cookies, a hot chocolate, and a cake pop, and we haven't been here an hour. >> there you go. >> thanks. >> that will be $34.50. it was nice to meet you, grace. and you too. >> jack. >> jack. hope to see you guys in here again soon.

>> i'm sure you will. grace loves her hot chocolate. >> desi: please welcome joey mcintyre! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> wow. >> desi: ow! [cheers and applause] oh, yeah. >> desi: first of all, before we get into all of this, i need to know, did you get all my letters 30 years ago? >> i mean, we need an overtime episode of this. there is so much to work out. >> desi: a lot to work out. i didn't hear back from you. >> well, you went against our nda. you told everyone we got married years ago. >> desi: yes, that is true. >> apparently, i was your first

of three marriages. >> desi: yes. >> you didn't clear that with me. >> desi: first you, then it was donnie, and then jordan -- >> that guy, that other guy. >> desi: yeah. >> listen, i'm glad to be part of your, you know, life and lexicon. >> desi: you definitely -- my 8-year-old self is squealing with excitement right now. >> i love it. >> desi: for the young people in the audience, new kids on the block was arguably the biggest boy band of all time. [cheers and applause] >> they call us the ogs. we always point to new edition who is from our town, too. but a long line of being part of pop history. but what we love is that blockheads are in positions of power. so they call the shots. and that is why i am sitting here today. [cheers and applause] >> desi: well, take it easy -- there are dozens of people who are watching right now. dozens. >> the important people. >> desi: you have been able to really transcend not just in music but in acting, tv, and film, and theater, and you got

this new christmas movie out right now, which is very sweet. are you a fan of holiday movies? what is your favorite holiday movie? mine is "eyes wide shut." >> well -- [laughs] you beat me. i was just going to say "home alone" but that is pretty obvious, watching that with the kids. what does he say, "you filthy" -- what does he say? >> desi: filthy animal. >> filthy animal, thank you very much. you got to watch that every season. >> desi: that is a great family movie. i can't watch "eyes wide shut" with my family. >> no. >> desi: no, it's not quite the same. >> i didn't see that coming. >> desi: aren't you glad you came here today? >> i am thrilled. i am thrilled. was there even any christmas scene in that movie at all? >> desi: nope, not a one. not a one. i think it was released on christmas day, if i'm not mistaken. >> desi: last weekend, i got a little timeout moment. i got to come see you in the off-broadway show "drag: the musical."

>> yes, yes. >> desi: it was phenomenal. >> thank you. >> desi: if you are in new york, please go see this if you haven't already. to me, it was the perfect postelection balm. it was so much fun. >> it is a lot of fun. >> desi: so funny, you are wonderful in it. >> thank you. it's not just a drag show. but it's got heart. it's a real book, it's a real musical, and number one job, though, is to entertain you and i think we do that every night. [cheers and applause] >> desi: you do. it's a great show. you have a solo number called "i'm just a straight man." >> yes, yes. it kicks off, ♪ i like "star wars" ♪ ♪ and pearl jam ♪ ♪ and beer in a can ♪ ♪ i'm just a straight man ♪ [cheers and applause] it kind of comes out of nowhere in the show so i don't know if it works for "the daily show" but it kills every night. >> desi: i think it works. it's very funny. here's my concern, though, is that with this new administration, it may become

the new national anthem. >> i know, well, listen, this is -- i'm going to be very controversial. >> desi: please. >> i'm going to try to get along with both halves of the country for the four years. i'm going to try! i'm going to try. no applause for that. [applause] no! they are saying, not me. >> desi: now that is the holiday spirit! >> thank you! >> desi: that is the holiday spirit. and you also have a solo album. >> i do have a solo album that you can presave on monday, i'm very excited about it. it's called "freedom," which is a big term nowadays. [applause] this is more about personal freedom and carving out time and following your dreams and i was able to commit to this album and i am excited about it and satisfied. >> desi: i can't wait to hear it. >> one more pitch, one more plug. >> desi: i love it. >> that was it. >> desi: congratulations.

i'm very, very excited for it. >> thank you. >> desi: before i let you go, i have to ask you one final question. do you ever get sick of grown women fangirling over you? >> not on "the daily show," baby. >> desi: you don't? >> not on "the daily show"! [cheers and applause] >> desi: i'm glad you said that because... [cheers and applause] >> oh! >> desi: i would love for you to sign my pillow. >> does it smell like mothballs? [cheers and applause] no, this is fresh, it's good. >> desi: i would love for you to sign this. this is the pillow i will be screaming into for the next four years. so i really appreciate you being here. >> can i sign it to you specifically? >> desi: yes, you can. i would very much appreciate it -- >> are you sure there is not other blockhead? >> desi: d-e-s-i -- >> i know how to spell. it was on our first marriage license. [laughter] >> desi: thank you very much. >> thank you! [cheers and applause]

>> desi: "jingle bell love" is now streaming for free on the roku channel. joey mcintyre! [cheers and applause] we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ (♪♪) make the most of your season during the kia season of new traditions sales event. gift yourself some savings and visit your local kia dealer today. look out for these stickers to find great deals on vehicles backed by a 10-year, 100,000-mile limited powertrain warranty so you can start new traditions for years to come. get 1.9% apr for up to 60 months, plus $1,000 retail bonus cash on specially tagged 2025 sportage and sorento vehicles. ♪♪ introducing applebee's really big meal deal for only $9.99. ♪♪

choose our new hand-breaded big cluckin' chicken sandwich. ♪♪ or the stacked classic bacon cheeseburger. ♪♪ plus fries and a drink. all for just $9.99. that's what we call a really big meal deal. we're eatin' good in the neighborhood. ♪♪ herbal essences is a force of nature. our shampoos and conditioners are made with supercharged botanicals. ♪♪ these sulfate-free formulas deeply penetrate and replenish nutrients. ♪♪ to boost hair health in just one wash. ♪♪ all without the salon naturals price tag. ♪♪ ♪♪ it's supercharged herbal essences. ♪♪ (music plays throughout) there it is.

all the parts you need, guaranteed to fit every time. ebay. things. people. love. welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. at harbor freight, we do business differently from the other guys. we design and test our own tools and sell them directly to you. no middleman. just quality tools you can trust at prices you'll love.

[cheers and applause] >> desi: that's our show for tonight, but before we go: please consider supporting feeding america. they are the largest hunger-relief organization in the united states. if you can support them in their work, please donate at the link below. now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> your answer, if anyone ever asked me to be a senator which would never happen, i would be like, i am too tired. i am just too tired to do it. but you are clearly cut from a different cloth. >> if we've learned one thing from the last couple of weeks, don't be so quick to think that you will not be picked for something. >> that's true. >> that's true. >> sorry. ♪ it seems today ♪ ♪ that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪

♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ good afternoon, quahog. our top story, price wars are heating up between all of the major airlines and even a couple of the little crashy ones. we now go live to tricia takanawa with more on the story. tom, i'm standing here at boston's logan airport, where some of the same security people who let the terrorists on the plane are still gainfully employed. with such low fares, even those who never fly are lining up to buy tickets. early reports suggest that this could be the most profitable day for airlines in the last two decades. i'm tricia takanawa. -back to you, tom. -hi, mom. [in joe's voice] hi, joe.

wow, peter, did you hear that? low airfares. why don't we take a trip? we never go anywhere anymore. we're gettin' stagnant. what are you talking about? we go places. we took that helicopter tour of tucson. wow. i've never seen so many boats not near bodies of water. that park is all concrete. look, there's a dog tied to a other dog. i think that guy with long hair is a lawyer. look at all those students running for their lives. oh, there's the concrete park again. peter, i'm talking about real travel. we can finally afford to go somewhere good. joe and bonnie went to europe and had the time of their lives. hey, i know a place you can go, lois, hell. there, i said it. now shut your mouth. lois, i hate travelling. besides, my passport picture is awful. ugh, you look like a human cigarette. but it's not just about you, peter. think about the family. it would be an amazing experience for the kids. it would give them some culture. lois, the kids can get all the culture they need, right here in quahog.