un-kun! ♪ [imitating vacuum cleaner] [high-pitched voice] i'm just a cleaning lady. aah! a dead body! [normal voice] he wrapped his belt around his own neck. it looks like a classic case of autoerotic asphyxiation. yeah, looks like everybody's tightening their belts [humming law & order themey. last time you saw the victim, was he happy? last time i saw this john, he was... he wasn't a victim, if you know what i'm talkin' about. - thank you. - no, that was just-- i'm just getting into the first act. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!"

i'm desi lydic. we've got so much to talk about tonight. the capitol bathrooms become a war zone, thanksgiving turkey is a lie, and matt gaetz finishes too soon. let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with some breaking news. if you've ever dreamed of being an attorney general, update your resume, because they have an opening! >> major breaking news. president-elect donald trump's pick for attorney general is out. matt gaetz says he is withdrawing his name from consideration. >> trump himself has put out a statement. "matt has a wonderful future and i look forward to watching all of the great things that he will do." >> desi: oh, you want to watch all the "great" things matt gaetz will do? might i suggest downloading the citizens app? but yes, this was a shocking

announcement from the trump team, and as you can see, no one was more surprised than matt gaetz. what a week gaetz has had. he resigned from congress, everyone talked nonstop about how he's a sex criminal and pedophile, and now he doesn't even get to be attorney general. this guy is [bleep] so hard that he had to venmo himself 10 grand. [cheers and applause] so pour out a capri sun for one of the goats. but let's move on. we've all heard the official story of the 2024 election: according to the pundits, the democrats were obsessed with "woke they/them politics" that didn't connect with voters, while republicans were talking about real issues that affect people day-to-day. so now republicans are in charge of both houses of congress, so let's hear about the economy! >> on capitol hill, speaker of

the house mike johnson took aim at democrat sarah mcbride, the first trans member of congress. he barred transgender people from using the capitol complex bathrooms that do not align with the sex assigned at birth. >> desi: hmm. okay, forget about the economy. i guess the national mandate was making it harder for this one woman to poop at work. and by the way, who appointed mike johnson as the king of bathrooms? >> under house rules, the speaker has general control of facilities in the chamber. >> desi: oh! i guess he is the king of bathrooms. pardon me, your majesty! government is weird sometimes. this guy is second in line for the presidency and he also has to refill the soap dispensers? so now, sarah mcbride, the first trans congresswoman, hasn't even started work yet, and she already has to run around the corner to starbucks to pee. and she is handling this situation more calmly than i would when i have to get to the bathroom.

>> sarah mcbride actually did respond in a statement. she said, "i'm not here to fight about about bathrooms. i'm here to fight for delawareans and to bring down costs facing families. i've remained hard at work preparing to represent the greatest state in the union come january." [cheers and applause] >> desi: yes. yes. although, did you just say delaware is the greatest state? have you tried any other state? you won, you don't need to keep saying that! but the point is, sarah mcbride is not the one pushing this issue. the whole thing started because of one congresswoman: nancy mace, the republican from south carolina, where things must be running so smoothly that she can devote all her energy to this. >> i'm going to fight like hell for women and girls to keep men out of women's private spaces, to include bathrooms, restrooms, locker rooms, changing rooms, you name it.

you are not welcome. >> if being a feminist makes me an extremist or a bigot or a monster, i am totally here for it. >> i've said it before and i'll say it again. come at me, bro, or bros, in this case. >> desi: i don't love her bigotry there, but i do respect her dedication to getting her steps in. i listen to podcasts, but bullying your coworkers is also a choice. honestly, transphobic cruella deville's logic might backfire here because all her drama is ironically affirming sarah mcbride's gender. there is nothing that defines the female experience more than starting a new job and a woman at work just decides she hates you. [cheers and applause] and nancy mace really seems to hate sarah mcbride.

it's like it's her full time job. >> in just 72 hours on x, representative nancy mace has posted about trans women in bathrooms more than 325 times. [audience reacts] >> desi: what the [bleep]? good lord, 325 tweets. how can anyone else even use the bathroom when mace is on the toilet tweeting all day? oh, my god! [applause] i have never hated anything so much that i had to buy a new data plan. that is way too much tweeting. even elon musk is like, "■have you considered joining bluesky?" she's not just posting on the internet. she's posting on the [bleep] walls. >> south carolina congresswoman nancy mace hanging signs for biological women on restrooms.

>> desi: "ta-da! your tax dollars paid for this!" but hey, she's getting a lot of attention for her bullshit politics. even if it's pissing off a lot of people. you know who would not be happy with nancy mace right now? 2021 nancy mace! >> back in 2021, she said, "i strongly support lgbtq rights and equality. no one should be discriminated against. i have friends and family that identify as lgtbq. having been around gay, lesbian, and transgender people has informed my opinion over my lifetime." >> desi: hmm. wonder what changed? i guess the biggest transition was nancy mace wanting to identify as the center of attention. [applause] here's how you know that this is all performative. well, first, the performance, "ta-da!" and also, here's what she claims the problem is. >> i'm not going to stand for a

man, you know, someone with a penis is in the women's locker room, that's not okay. i know how vulnerable women and girls are in private spaces. >> desi: yes, of course, you just want to protect women from hypothetical predators. that would play a lot better if you weren't trying to get actual predators into the highest levels of of government. [cheers and applause] pete hegseth. rfk. matt gaetz. if donald trump nominated bill cosby, nancy mace would be walking in circles in an ugly '80s sweater eating a pudding pop. [applause] bottom line, shit like this: >> men are not allowed in women's spaces, period. full stop, end of story. >> desi: would land a little harder if you weren't rolling with a guy whose attitude about women's spaces is this: >> and i'll go backstage before a show. >> yes. >> and everyone's getting dressed and ready and everything

else, and you know, no men are anywhere. and i'm allowed to go in because i'm the owner of the pageant and therefore, i'm inspecting it. >> desi: yeah. "ta-da!" [cheers and applause] when we come back, we find out the truth about thanksgiving. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

let's monopoly go! hehe. chris! keke! ready tycoons? it's go time! cash grab! keke, i won again? ow! daddy will be back soon. [cries] -ha ha! -boom! we're swimming in it now. -rent's due. -toodle-oo! busted! nothing beats playing with friends, except bankrupting friends.

[office noises] ♪ i like it like that ♪ ♪♪ ♪ que rico, i like it like that ♪ ♪♪ ♪ i like it like that ♪ ♪ i've got soul, i want more ♪ ♪ i like it like that ♪ ♪ you gotta believe me when i tell you ♪ ♪♪ ♪ que rico, i like it like that ♪

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or are they nowhere? or is that exactly what they want you to think? so that's where my wallet is. well, for every they, there is a me. i am kevin matthew kelp. follow me as i pull back the curtain to find the truth behind the curtain. this is "project conspiracy." thanksgiving. it is a time to gather with friends and family and celebrate the birth of a tunnel vegetables from a great horned regina. but what if i told you this innocent fall festival that has no darkside whatsoever has a dark side? ♪ ♪ like most sheeple, i used to believe in things giving is a time of peace and harmony. but then i started to notice a curious pattern. >> goddamn it, kevin, if i hear one more conspiracy theory! >> it's not a conspiracy, dad. the work is actually a triangle. >> every year at things giving,

i would try to inform my family about new and brilliant ideas. >> that does not make you bisexual, kevin! >> what's wrong with you? >> do some research! >> and every year, without fail, my entire family would act like i was the crazy one. >> the chinese are not spreading propaganda and maroon 5 song spirits. >> maroon is a shade of red and there is five stars in the chinese flag! to i have to spell it out for you? >> so what is it about this holiday that works my family's minds and turns them against rational thought? it is time to give thanks for the truth. gobble, gobble. thanksgiving is in every nook and cranny of our culture. but i had to start somewhere. as we all know, thanksgiving was started by the pilgrims. a shadowy cabal so devoted to suppressing good ideas, they literally forced people to put locks on their brains.

in 1863, thanksgiving was declared a national holiday by abraham lincoln. the king of making americans fight each other. honest abe, more like dishonest abe. of course, the main event thanksgiving, the turkey. we don't eat turkey as a main course any other day of the year. it is dry, it is bland, and frankly, it is just plain fugly. why is the government pushing turkey on us for this one day every year? time to go to the source. shh, look at all this. they push this stuff hard. huh. buy one, get one. that is a good deal, though. >> wow. that's a lot of turkey you got there. eat all that, you are going to o.g. on tryptophan! >> what?

>> tryptophan. you know, the weird chemical in turkey. >> you fool! you have given the whole game away! >> you got to pay for that! >> money isn't real! >> turkey, it's got the tryptophan. that knocks everybody out at some point. >> what does tryptophan do to our bodies? >> side effects of too much tryptophan may cause agitation and confusion. >> tryptophan. >> o.g. on tryptophan. [turkey gobble's] >> you have to pay for that! >> it made perfect sense. ♪ ♪ drowsiness, agitation, confusion. [dramatic music plays] turkeys turn our families against us with their mind altering chemicals. ♪ ♪ of course it was the turkey! and they are rewarded for their work with a presidential pardon. and granted unlimited access to the highest corridors of american power. this has gone on long enough.

if i'm going to end this "fowl play," i will have to execute a plan with all the trimmings. this might look like a regular turkey but don't let your eyes fool you. it is completely fake. and now, we will see if removing the mind control turkey and serving them my untainted meat sets my family's minds free. perfect. let's eat. testing. here we go. operation gobbler begins now. >> hey! glad you made it! listen, don't be weird this year, okay? >> what? of course not. i even brought a normal turkey. >> what you mean, normal? >> [laughs] you are hilarious. excuse me, aunt lisa. got a normal turkey here, everyone! who is loving this turkey? come on, everybody. dig in. speaking of digging, you know, dinosaurs aren't real. all those bones are a hoax to

market the jurassic park franchise. >> goddamn it, kevin! >> you promised you wouldn't do this. >> this just like when you said that ancient aliens built mount rushmore. it's because you don't believe me? absent turkey. >> what'd you do to it? it smells like spray paint. >> no it doesn't! look! this is the best turkey i ever had! mm! >> are you okay? >> me? never felt better in my life! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: rest in peace, kevin. when we come back, brittany howard will be joining me on the show. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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whose latest album is called "what now." please welcome brittany howard! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: you are so cool! the epitome of cool. >> thank you so much. wow. >> desi: congratulations on your grammy nomination! >> thank you so much! [cheers and applause] thank you! >> desi: yes! this is on your new album, "what now." you wrote the album out of not being able to tour, right, during lockdown? >> that's right, it was during the pandemic. i had finished watching "tiger king." it wasn't, like, the good part of the pandemic where you are like, i might not have to go to work for a month.

it was, like, i got into the drudges of it. we all know about it. started just having kind of an existential crisis -- not a crisis, but more just, like, let me figure out who i am real quick. that is really where the album started. it was some crazy times. we didn't know what is going to happen next. >> desi: it is so inspiring because you take that lockdown and you are like, let me figure out who i am and write a grammy-nominated album. and i was, like, how many housewives are there? >> [laughs] >> desi: i mean, that is what most people did. it is really remarkable. >> i'm not going to judge you for your use of time, you know. >> desi: thank you, i appreciate that. >> we all found ways to get through it. [cheers and applause] >> desi: you have mentioned being influenced by a lot of different artists, and you mention being very influenced by prince and studying prince and his techniques. you have an interesting prince story. you actually got to play with prince. >> i did. it was just a call out of the blue.

what happened was, we played minneapolis, and some of prince's band was there and they went back and they were like, yo, this band is great. so prince called my management -- not him personally. but somebody prince-adjacent calls my manager. >> desi: sure. >> and was like, can they show up tomorrow to play paisley park? and i remember my manager's face when they came in and they were like... you know, do you think you can do a detour on your tour and go to paisley park and play with prince? i was like, duh. we show up and prince is there and he's welcoming us into the studio. he is super funny. super cool. he really does have a very low voice. and he was like, "i like the song you got, what key is it in? i want to hop up there and play with you." i was like, what? i forgot the key. i was like, i don't know. >> desi: [laughs] >> we are playing the song. and everybody has a story about how prince can levitate or disappear, prince can -- all

kinds of crazy stuff, like, he's a ghost or apparition. and i found it to be true. >> desi: did he disappear? >> what happened was, i am up there playing the solo and i am like, this is about time where prince is going to come out. so he's not showing up and we are playing the same things over and over again. i'm hoping he's going to show up. and then, out of nowhere, he just pops on stage. and i am like, okay, maybe i didn't see him get up here. he shreds the solo, it was so sick. we start double soloing. in my mind, i am like, i can't believe it. this is the greatest story of my life. and we finished playing the song, he kisses me on the cheek, then he just jumps in the air and vanishes. gone. [laughter and applause] yeah. and i am not the only one with that story. >> desi: [laughs] >> desi: you are going to perform for us tonight. >> that's right. [cheers and applause] >> desi: you are going to perform the song "to be still" which is about a flower being taken care of in someone's

garden. is this about someone in particular or is this just about the idea of being taken care of? >> you know, i am a libra. i love love. it's my favorite thing on this planet. it is just a very good thing. and i think love can grow if someone waters it. so the song was just my imagining of what if i could quit looking for love and i could stay in one spot and i could blossom? and i just wanted to write a song like that and it just came to me and to me, it is just my peaceful place, this song. >> desi: ah! [applause] we are so grateful you are sharing this. i could talk to you forever but you have to perform. so "what now" is available everywhere. please be sure to stay around for the special performance after the break. [cheers and applause] brittany howard, everyone! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ the polar vortex is bringing a lot of snow.

just be safe getting home. this storm will be here through the night, as will i. ♪♪ the december to remember sales event. get offers on select models. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ welcome to autozone. what are you working on today?

my car's starting kinda slow. let's see... just needs a charge. it's free. are you sure it's free? positive. get in the zone, autozone kevin, where are you?! kevin?!?!?.... hey, what's going on? i'm right here! i was busy cashbacking for the holidays with chase freedom unlimited. you know i can't believe you lost another kevin. it's a holiday tradition! earn big time with chase freedom unlimited. how do you cashback? chase. make more of what's yours. (music plays throughout) ok, ebay. the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion. ebay. things. people. love. brisket is back at chipotle. seasoned. smoked. seared. spiced. sauced. bowl'd. and gauc'd. it's a whole new kind of brisket, done the chipotle way. (vo) at total wireless, we got your back every day.

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>> ♪ i daydream to be a flower in your garden ♪ ♪ i'd drink your hose pipe water ♪ ♪ i wonder how delicate is your touch ♪ ♪ for something you love so much? ♪ ♪ i wonder if i didn't have to wonder? ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ to be still ♪

♪ to be still ♪ ♪ i daydream ♪ ♪ you would grow me for one summer ♪ ♪ you could plant me in the sun or in the shade ♪ ♪ i'd spend all my days reaching towards your rays ♪ ♪ for love i'd never have to hunger ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ i wanna know what it's like ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ i wanna know what it's like ♪ ♪ to be still ♪

♪ see, i wanna know what it's like ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ i wanna know what it's like ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ see, i wanna know what it's like ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ ♪ see, i wanna know what it's like ♪ ♪ to be still ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ it seems today ♪ ♪ that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ peter, what are you doing? i'm watching this awesome show, brian. see, they took all these colors and they're making 'em all live together in a beach house. now, the red one is sleeping with the green one. and the blue one thinks he's gonna have a career in music. and the yellow one is just a total bitch. peter, that's just a channel that's gone off the air. [tv announcer] and we'll be right back with -more color bar beach house after these messages. -oh.

peter, for god's sake, did you eat this entire roll of raw cookie dough? oh, is that what that was? i thought it was a raisin sausage. peter, you're gonna get sick. you can't just eat raw food out of the fridge. eh, calm down, people make mistakes. just look at the original design for the first hybrid car. eric, we love the car. we only want to change one thing. is it the "rapist" sign? -yes, it is the "rapist" sign. -i quit. so, as you can see, our quarterly output is up one and a half percent. that's not net, i'm talking gross. you do everything gross. [giggles] [angela] we are predicting another two percent growth. [peter] stupid boring meeting. i don't even want to be here. i'd rather be home, doing dramatic garage door reveals. [♪ rock music playing, alice cooper "no more mr. guy"]