and, chris, i'm sorry it didn't work out with you and taylor swift. i think we're all sorry about that, brian, but i'm afraid we are out of time. i would like to thank our guests taylor swift, chris griffin, stewie and brian, cleveland brown and his band of brown renown. hey, we'll see you down in brown town, huh, cleveland? oh, i ain't even gonna go there, peter. [♪ plays slide note] we apologize to the greased-up deaf guy. didn't have time for him tonight, but let's see if we can get him back next week when amanda peet will be here with stand-up dom irrera. good night, everybody. [♪ band playing jazz version of "family guy" theme] [♪ fanfare plays] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] >> michael: thank you and welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about tonight. the nypd does the bare minimum, fox news throws a party for themselves, and america's got a crush on a bad boy... like, really bad. like, murder bad. anyway, let's get into headlines! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's start with the breaking news. for the last few days, there's been a killer on the loose in america. well, there's actually tons of killers on the loose in america, but this one killed someone important, so they were really looking for him. and personally, i'm glad they found him yesterday. call me old-fashioned, but i think murdering people in cold blood by shooting them in the back is wrong. so i'm glad that this ice-cold assassin is off the streets. let's find out more about his dark and mysterious past.

>> police officially charging 26-year-old luigi mangione. >> michael: whoa, hold up. the assassin's name is luigi mangione? did they find him hiding in a big pipe? i'm kidding. the cops were able to locate him after following the trail of fettuccine alfredo leading out of central park. it's okay, i can make fun of italians because italians annoy the shit out of me. but fine, he's italian, does that mean he's a criminal? probably. but what evidence do they have that this is the guy? >> according to court records, the suspected killer had 3d printed ghost gun on him, several fake ids, $8,000 in cash, and a three page handwritten manifesto. >> michael: okay, that's a lot of evidence. what else did they find on him? was he wearing a t-shirt that said, "i shot a ceo and all i

got was this lousy t-shirt?" also, are they sure that new jersey i.d. was fake? i feel like if your name is luigi mangione, you're born with a new jersey i.d. it just slides out with you like the placenta. but we can't give all the credit to the altoona police just because they caught him, because the nypd did their part, too. they were scouring the city for days. they were looking in the bushes, and looking in some bushes, here they are standing on a rock. hey, should i look in that bush? [bleep] at. new york's finest. don't get me wrong, they didn't spend the whole time barely looking in the bushes. >> the breakthrough in the case came as police divers continued to search a lake in new york's central park for items dumped by the assassin. >> michael: great work.

great work. they're like, "you guys look for the killer, we're going to see if he wished on any lucky pennies down here? hey, did the killer use a gun? because we found 5,000 of them down there." so now that we know who the suspect is, it's time for society to indulge in its favorite pastime: obsessing over every detail about this guy's life like he's a k-pop idol. >> mangioni comes from a prominent maryland family, which owns multiple country clubs in the state. >> he was valedictorian at his graduation from a $40,000 a year private school with a carnation in his buttonhole. >> michael: ooh, a carnation in his buttonhole! not like one of these peasants who fills his buttonholes with buttons. but see, this is why i don't want to send my kids to private school. if they become a murderer someday, that tuition, what a waste of money. and that's why i support public education.

[cheers and applause] thank you. that didn't get the response i anticipated but that's okay. it's surprising that he comes from such a privileged background. he's not really the kind of guy you expect to become a murderer. i mean, i'd expect him to crash the housing market, but not kill a guy. so we know he was privileged, he was apparently smart. but were there any other clues that something might go wrong? >> he spent time in hawaii at a co-living space during 2022 and 2023 and two people who knew mangione during that time say that he was dealing with frequent back pain due to an injury. one added that mangione started a book club, but several members left due to discomfort over what he chose to read. an online book review from january of this year apparently written by mangione praises some of the writings of the unabomber ted kaczinski. >> michael: yeah, you know, this is a classic mistake: you never want to start your book club with the unabomber.

you kick it off with some sally rooney, then a little jonathan franzen, then when everybody's like, "i'm so [bleep] bored," that's when you hit them with the mail bomb stuff. but if you're looking for something that will make you a hit with your book club, try this one: "lucky loser: adventures in tennis and comedy" by me, michael kosta. [cheers and applause] this an actual, real book i wrote, and it's available to pre-order now for the holidays. consider it my manifesto for wanting your money. [laughter and applause] [laughs] so his medical issues could have been a motivation. the ted kaczynski love could've been a red flag. and recently, there was something else raising alarm bells. >> mangione was in regular contact with friends and family

until about six months ago when he suddenly and inexplicably stopped communicating with them. >> in july, a friend messaged him on x: "hey, man, i need you to call me. you made commitments to me for my wedding and if you can't honor them, i need to know so i can plan accordingly." >> michael: yeah, sorry, bro, but luigi was busy planning the most important day of his life. [laughs] but this is a good reminder: when you get mad at someone for not responding, be kind. you never know what they're going through. they might be plotting an assassination. but now this guy has been arrested and normally most people believe that getting a suspected killer off the streets is a good thing. but that's not exactly what happened this time. >> surging support on social media for murder suspect luigi mangione. the #freeluigi trending worldwide. >> y'all saying murderer. i'm saying freedom fighter. >> the comments posted in reaction to the cnn news post. "brutal." "mcdonald's employees snitched

on a working class hero," 251 likes. "i hope someone creates a gofundme for his legal defense." "not all heroes wear capes. some wear backpacks." "does he need someone to corroborate his alibi? because i got him." >> michael: yes, "the horrible comments should never be repeated, and now let me read all of them slowly on national television." look, i understand that we all hate insurance companies. i happen to think america needs free, universal healthcare funded by taxes on elon musk. [cheers and applause] but shooting a real human being in the back is not heroic, and it's not what's going to get people what they want. but if you want real change, we have to realize that comes from a lot of people working together, doing a lot of small things: organizing, educating, voting for politicians who will actually pass universal healthcare. [cheers and applause]

that might not be exciting or thrilling or sexy, but if you want that... why don't you pick up a copy of my new book, "lucky loser," it's available for pre-order now and it's inspired zero murders so far. now there is one other reason this guy's built such a fan base. he's a total snack. >> let's not get around the fact a lot of people find the man attractive. and so that has become this whole new hot felon. >> could he be the new hot felon? i don't know. >> there was talks about how some people were saying he was an attractive looking killer. >> so much of the clips we were watching at the top of this segment are driven by the fact that this is this is an attractive -- >> we got to drop the banner to show why. >> and it's -- it is deeply troubling that we are celebrating this -- this person. >> michael: i love how cnn is like, "i can't believe people are romanticizing this monster. control room, can we zoom in on his giant dong?"

my question is, is he really even that hot? i mean, take away the hair, and the abs, the face, the arms, the easy smile, the way his eyes light up when he... i'm sorry, what were we talking about? syria? what was i talking about? oh, yeah, the guy with the incredible abs. i know everyone's getting all horned up because he's got muscles, but that's not what makes a man. you know what does? providing for your family, watching most of a documentary, thinking about googling a charity you heard about. that's masculinity. thank you. [applause] for more on the case, let's go live to the manhattan d.a.'s office with ronny chieng. [cheers and applause] ronny, an important case ronny, what's the latest? >> well, michael, we're slowly learning more about who exactly luigi mangione is.

on the surface, a well-off private school-educated young man. ivy league graduate. he worked as a data engineer. all in all, he had a bright future. but five days ago, it took a dark turn. >> michael: wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. did you just show a shirtless photo of you hiking? >> yeah, don't worry about it. i just want to get some good pictures of me out there in case i'm ever in the news for murder. >> michael: are you going to murder somebody? >> no, i don't know. i'm not a fortune teller. but if it happens someday, i want to do the responsible thing and have some thirst traps ready for cnn. so just let me do my report. >> michael: okay, fine. go-ahead to. >> anyway, the killer's motivations remain a mystery. [cheers and applause] but what we do know is that in an america with such easy access to weapons, and one where passions run high, a tragedy is just moments away, and can have

consequences that last for life. >> michael: ronny, what the hell is this, ronny? what is this? >> that's just the ken burns effect. it helps to make still images more dynamic -- >> michael: ronny, come on, man. the news isn't going to show pictures of your dong busting out of your speedo. >> uh, yeah, they will. that's how hotness works, michael. i mean, just look at jesus! would we still be talking about him today if he looked like rudy giuliani? i don't think so. i mean, the fact is, america is obsessed with image, and images in our society can dictate public opinion. and while we wait to hear about the suspect's motive, people are mentioning his history of health issues which -- >> michael: hey, stop! stop laughing at this! why am i in that photo? why am i 400 pounds and covered in chili? that sucks. >> michael, it's not personal. it's just a comparison. it makes me look hotter. but like i was saying, there was

a manifesto and mangione does seem to have a serious problem with the healthcare system. >> michael: no, ronny -- dude! what! ronny! why do i have a thought bubble that says "i pee sitting down?" and you're not even in that photo! this sucks! >> of course i'm not in the photo! why would i associate myself with a loser who pees sitting down? >> michael: get out of here, ronny. ronny chieng, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we find out who won awards season. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." it's awards season in hollywood, so let's get all the latest in another edition of "who won it best." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [laughter] >> welcome to "who won it best!" where the only thing better than an awards show is talking about an awards show! and tonight, we're covering all the glitz and glam and hot goss from america's greatest award show.

>> welcome to fox nation and the sixth annual patriot awards. >> that's right, the fox nation patriot awards. the very real award show where fox honors the patriots brave enough to share a room with jesse watters. >> it's like the oscars for people who want to firebomb the oscars. and who better to lead it than the master race of ceremonies himself, sean hannity. >> a little bit of a wardrobe change, if you haven't noticed. long as i'm going to be called garbage, i might as well wear the garbage vest, right? >> [sarcastic laughter] oh, man, my ribs still hurt from laughing. also, pete hegseth punched me in the stomach. >> he's so fun, isn't he? >> so fun. >> fun. >> and as you can probably guess, the world's biggest stars came out for the fox nation patriot awards. everyone from kirk cameron, lee greenwood...

>> then there was the biggest celebrity surprise of all. >> now, i want you guys to stay right here because we have a special surprise for you. >> ladies and gentleman, please welcome the ceo of patriot mobile, glenn storey. >> yes... >> glenn storey... >> we are america's only christian conservatives cell phone service provider. [together] >> glenn storey! so great, so fun. >> can you believe they got glenn storey of patriot mobile? >> no! >> oh, my god! >> chills. >> ugh. >> some cell phone companies have 5g. patriot mobile has 1g. god. [laughter and cheering] >> but let's get to the winners!

one of them was an actor and former actor, kirk cameron. he won a patriot award for his conservative children's books, like this one about a [bleep] zoo animal. >> he is, isn't he? who is his trainer? >> i want his number! [laughter] let's take a listen to his inspiring acceptance speech. >> there's such a wind of hope and optimism in the air. and people can smell the fragrance of freedom. >> the fragrance of freedom? sweetie, you're at an event with fox news anchors. that's just chloroform. >> speaking of being knocked out, look at that trophy! let's learn more about the exquisite design of the patriot award. >> this year's award has a commemorative stripe in the middle of it. it's made of steel, recovered from 9/11 and the world trade center towers. how is that? and now it's part of this medal. >> wow! >> wow! >> wow!

>> beautiful 9/11 steel! sir, a second patriot award has just hit your trophy case! [audience reacts] >> troy, i didn't realize 9/11 steel was available for purchase? >> oh, definitely. when i got my invisalign, i had my orthodontist use 9/11 steel on the retainer. >> oh! do you wear it at night? >> i never forget. [laughter and applause] >> the big question was: who would win patriot of the year, the night's most coveted award? a three star general? a courageous police officer? the hawk tuah girl? no. >> no. >> it's obviously going to be donald trump. >> and get this: his acceptance speech was 12 minutes long. impressive. >> wow. >> eat shit, halle berry! >> this is quite a group. i have so many friends sitting right here. you have incredible people at fox.

you have incredible people at every level of fox. no day off, no play, no golf, no nothing, i didn't even want to. i spoke with canada and justin came flying right in. i looked over, that chart showed we had the best immigration, the lowest number of people in the history of -- make america great again. ♪ ♪ [audience reacts] >> the band simply won't play him off because he's too captivating! also, he'll sic the fbi on their families. isn't that fun? >> it's so fun! >> it's so fun! >> so fun! >> by the way, troy, did you get your fabulous patriot awards swag bag? >> yes, i did! it's a bottle of surplus infowars prostate support! yum! >> oh! what i wouldn't give to have a prostate right now! >> it's so fun! >> i bet! i bet it is! anyway, those are all the highlights from the 2024 fox nation patriot awards.

i can't wait to see what they have in store next year. >> how are they going to top glenn storey from patriot mobile? [laughter] >> they won't! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> michael: thank you, desi and troy. when we come back, deb haaland will be joining me on the show, don't go away! [cheers and go-friends, gather! keke! chris! jason! boop! friends. let's go, let's go, friends! hold onto your dice. woohoo!! -nice frosting, pratt. -thank you!

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welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. [cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the nation's first native american to serve as a cabinet secretary, running the department of interior under president biden.

please welcome interior secretary deb haaland! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: the department of interior. >> secretary haaland: the department of the interior. >> michael: the department of the interior. one of the duties that you have taken on as the secretary is trying to right some historical wrongs. many of which have been done under the guise of the department of the interior. tell me about that journey. what has that been like? >> secretary haaland: yes. the department that i now lead once had the job of working to assimilate indians, moving native americans out of their communities, away from their families, to assimilate them

into mainstream society. one of the ways they did that was to essentially steal children and ship them off, sometimes thousands of miles away from their homes to attend indian boarding schools. and so when i got to the department, we thought about, what can we do to make a difference in the future of our native communities across the country? one of the ways was to be honest about our country's history. it is a history that not a lot of people -- not a lot of americans realize, right? so we wanted to bring attention to that. we wrote two reports. our team researched, they read 103 million pages of documents to put these reports together. and then we set out across the country and did what we called the road to healing, and we heard directly from descendants and actual survivors of the boarding school, the indian

boarding schools, and that is going to be an oral history at some point. we are working on that now. >> michael: how do you handle the new administration coming and one that appears on the exterior to be significantly different? >> secretary haaland: so we are going to do our best to make sure that whoever comes into the department of the interior knows what we are working on. you know, we can tell them what has meant a lot to us and how we have managed the department. but don't forget, we will still be 65,000 career staff there who don't leave when i leave. and they will continue to do the really wonderful work that they have been doing for decades and decades. [applause] >> michael: this comes from ronny chieng,

my friend, and fellow news team member, and i love this question. what native american philosophy can be applied to our current lives and times? and if it is a bad question, it is ronny's question. >> secretary haaland: okay, so i don't know about native american "philosophy" but i will tell you some words that i live by. my auntie, god rest her soul, auntie anne, her advice to me was, be nice to everyone. be nice to everyone. and i feel like sometimes kindness might be in short supply in our country right now. but if we all followed my aunt's advice, then we might be better off. >> michael: i think that is a beautiful answer. [cheers and applause] it is ironic that ronny asked that question because he is a dickhead to everybody. [laughter] thank you so much for talking with us. i really appreciate it. secretary of the interior deb haaland. we are going to take a quick break and we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ thank you so much, madam secretary. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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is certainly some hostility to even the fact that media is covering this. you can see, this lease lower behind me has told us that he will not leave until we do, so we are definitely seeing some of the community members reacting, not happy. >> sorry. ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy ♪ [tv announcer] we now return to rational geographic. [british narrator] upon realizing a trip to africa would be smelly and gross,

our crew decided to stay in the office. [♪ theme music playing] aah! mom, dad! a bat, a bat! oh, my god, there's a bat in the house. okay, all-all right, everybody just calm down, it might just be grandpa munster. somebody set him up for a funny joke. hey, grandpa, how did you sleep last night? yeah, see, if it was him, he would have said, "like i do every night, upside down". [laughs] okay. but, peter, we can't have a bat flying around the house. we got to do something. don't worry, lois. i'll get rid of it. it'll be a piece of cake. just like my penis enhancement. i want it to hang down to my knees. they moved up my knees. everybody, i've come up with the perfect plan to catch the bat. i bought this remote-controlled toy helicopter, to which i have attached this handgun. and i tell you, this thing is not easy to fly. peter, that doesn't seem very...