♪ ho-ho ♪ ♪ big show ♪ ♪ ho-ho ♪ ♪ time to go ♪ this is kind of weird. come on, brian, just surrender to it. hey, i was in the episode, too! ♪ bing-go! ♪ ♪ and i'm joe ♪ joe is the captain again! all right, i'll give it a shot. ♪ well, i came across the world ♪ ♪ for a very special girl... ♪ [brian screaming] eyes forward, finish the number. ranita, finish the number! ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, jordan klepper! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> jordan: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm jordan klepper. we have a lot to talk about tonight. trump gets romantic at the worst possible moment, marco rubio has the ultimate glow-up, and the white house celebrates "bring your elon to work day." so let's get into another installment of "the second coming of donald j. trump." ♪ ♪ >> i'm gonna come. >> jordan: yesterday was a busy day at the white house. first, trump met with the king of jordan. the country jordan. you're not the boss of me, king abdullah ii! of course, trump invited the king to discuss his plan to displace 2 million people and turn gaza into the atlantic city of the middle east. which sounds pretty clear cut to me, but apparently, the nitpickers in the media still have questions.

>> you've said before that the u.s. would buy gaza and today you just said, "we're not going to buy gaza." >> we're not going to have to buy. we're not going to buy anything. we're going to have it, and we're going to keep it, and we're going to make sure that there's going to be peace. and there's not going to be any problem, and nobody's going to question it. >> jordan: "there's no problem and nobody's going to question it?" trump is like a jedi who doesn't have the force. "i'll take gaza and nobody's going to question it. nobody. is this thing on? is it working?" but trump has another plan to convince the haters: a charm offensive. >> it's a war-torn area. we're going to take it. we're going to hold it. we're going to cherish it. >> jordan: oh, okay, so it's going to be an ethnic "cherishing." i got it. how did that start like a mussolini speech and end as a boyz ii men song? "we will take the land! it will be ours! and we're going to... make love to you. like you want us to.

and i'll hold you tight. baby, all through the night." now, one thing i find weird about donald trump saying he wants to run gaza is that from what we've seen so far, he barely wants to run the united states. for weeks, people have been raising alarms about how trump seems to be handing way too much power over to elon musk. and yesterday, trump replied, i hear you. you want me to give more power to elon musk. >> president trump setting new guidelines for hiring in the federal workforce, while giving more power to elon musk and his team at the department of government efficiency, or doge. a new executive order directs government agencies to pursue large scale cuts, saying they now need hiring approval from doge. >> jordan: yes, elon musk is now in charge of all government heilings -- hirings. hirings. i did not say that reich -- right. i didn't say that right. [laughs] yeah, okay.

[cheers and applause] i don't know why i keep hitler -- misspeaking. i don't know why i keep misspeaking. so this was already a pretty unusual thing for a president to do. but trump being trump, he had to make it even more ridiculous by introducing it with a full on circus acts in the oval office. look at this scene: musk is holding court with his hands tented like a bond villain, probably to stop him from doing a nazi salute, with his four-year-old child in tow. i mean, that poor kid. his dad literally runs space x and elon took him to a meeting on federal spending. "dad, are we going to see the rockets?" "no, son, we're going to discuss budgets. because i'm a shitty dad." everything about this event was so bizarre. trump was sitting quietly for half an hour, retreating to his happy place thinking about arnold palmer's giant doge.

and who thought cloning stephen miller was a good idea? is it for spare parts? they look like a "before" and "even more before" picture. [laughter and applause] but leaving aside this renaissance painting done by the "dogs playing poker" guy, it's good that we have elon musk here, because we've been watching him slashing programs and shuttering agencies for a month now, and we can finally ask elon, "why are you doing this?" >> if the people cannot vote and have their will be decided by their elected representatives in the form of the president and the senate and the house, then we don't live in a democracy. we live in a bureaucracy. so it's incredibly important that the president, the house and the senate decide what happens as opposed to a large,

unelected bureaucracy. >> jordan: wow, you see why this guy's a genius. you don't want an unelected bureaucrat running the country. it makes a lot of sense. no questions here. i do have one question though. isn't that you? [cheers and applause] am i going crazy? because it feels like i'm watching drake sing "not like us" at karaoke. like, does he not know? is having this one unaccountable bureaucrat in charge better than having those other unaccountable bureaucrats in charge? because at least the others have to follow transparency laws. the only thing transparent about doge is elon's skin. his financial disclosure is being kept secret, doge is exempt from open records laws,

and when someone on twitter merely identified some of the people who work for doge, elon suspended their account and said "you have committed a crime." which we tried to fact-check with career officials at the fbi, but they're all working at a panera now. so elon, i don't think you're being that transparent. >> so all of our actions are maximally transparent. in fact, i don't think there's been -- i don't know of a case where an organization has been more transparent than the doge organization. and i fully expect to be scrutinized and get, you know, a daily proctology exam. >> jordan: oh! well, i did the exam, and what an asshole! [cheers and applause] i don't want to give you a proctology exam, i just want to know what you're doing. because another advantage of

federal bureaucrats is that they can't have conflicts of interest, whereas you seem to have every conflict of interest! spacex has government contracts. tesla is under government oversight. x is under government investigation. and his hair plugs are being investigated by the department of "no one's buying this!" you are basically a walking conflict of interest. is that not a huge problem? >> well, all of our actions are are fully public. so if you see anything, you say like, wait a second. hey, elon, that doesn't -- that seems like maybe that's, you know, there's a conflict there. it's not like people are going to be shy about saying that. they'll say it immediately, you know? >> jordan: oh, good! if we see a conflict, we just need to say something! hey, elon, i notice a conflict! [laughter and applause] did that work? no? nothing happened?

there's no accountability and nothing matters? great! perfect system! well, [bleep] it, he's not going to be transparent, and he's riddled with conflicts of interest, but at least he's a genius. and the work he's going to do will be flawless. >> mr. musk, you said on x that an example of the fraud that you have cited was $50 million of condoms was sent to gaza. how can we make sure that all the statements that you said were correct so we can trust what you say? >> well, first of all, some of the things that i say will be incorrect and should be corrected. so nobody's going to bat 1.000. >> jordan: "nobody's going to bat 1.000?" you made up a $50 million conspiracy of sending condoms to gaza. you're not grounding out to third. you're puking into the umpire's mouth. and just for the record, of course the united states didn't send $50 million worth of condoms to gaza. we sent $5 million of vibrating sex swings to north korea! and i believe it stopped

nuclear war. but don't quote me on that. i'm not going to bat 1.000. so, to summarize, he's not transparent, he has tons of conflict, he believes any lie he hears, and he spreads false rumors that go global. honestly, i'd be pretty mad at him right now if he didn't have so much gosh darn charisma. >> so, um, you know, there's crazy things, like, just cursory examination of social security, and we've got people in there that are 150 years old. now do you know anyone who's 150? i don't. okay. um, they should be on the guinness book of world records. they're missing out. um, so -- >> jordan: "tough crowd, tough crowd." is this thing on? anyone here from washington, d.c.? oh, you're all from d.c. ahh." look, if you want to see more of that kind of comedy, then don't

worry, because there's a new special coming out that's just for you. ♪ ♪ >> live from the oval office, it is the must-see comedy special that will have you doging in your chair. it is "elon musk: loligarch." >> do you know anyone who is 150? they should be on "the guinness book of world records" they are they are missing out. >> oh, snap. he is the ceo of comedy. >> yes, sir. >> you will want to neural link these jokes straight to your brainstem. featuring an opening act by the balding brother's. order now and he will get even more of elon's most hilarious bits. >> go [bleep] yourself. >> the one thing he's not cutting is the last. >> [laughs] >> i am aspirational he, you know, aspirationally funny.

so, um, yeah. >> sponsored by doge. doge. we use the hiv prevention money to pay for this. >> jordan: [laughs] when we come back, we find out about the man who's going to get us into a war, don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ are you having any fun? ♪ ♪ what you getting out of living? ♪

♪ who cares for what you've got ♪ ♪ if you're not having any fun? ♪ ♪ are you having any laughs? ♪ ♪ are you getting any loving? ♪ ♪ if other people do, why can't you? ♪ ♪ have a little fun ♪ ♪ and have ♪ ♪ have a little fun ♪

this is sam adams just the haze ipa. best non alcoholic beer in america. whooo. your cousin. from boston. whooo. champions, baby! we won an award! it's sam season! [cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome back to

"the daily show." every time donald trump farts out a new idea for buying a foreign country or slapping tariffs on imported salami, the person who has to translate that into policy is his secretary of state, marco rubio. but how did rubio get such an exciting job? let's find out in a brand new "daily showography." ♪ ♪ >> egypt's foreign ministry arrived at the state department yesterday with secretary rubio. >> yep, that's me. but you are wondering how a fun side florida boy went from this... >> a con artist is about to take over the republican party and the conservative movement and we have to put a stop to it. >> to this. >> mr. president, i think miami-dade cowed county loves you a lot. >> i wasn't always hanging out with all the cool kids at donald trump's lunch table but sometimes when you are the right place at the right time with the right complete lack of morals minor integrity, magic can happen. this is the "daily showography"

of me, marco rubio my pick me in pink. ♪ ♪ i wasn't always the it girl of d.c. i'm actually from miami near little havana, or as i like to call it, just normal size to vanna. graduating high school with a 2.1 gpa, i had the body of a chippendale's dancer and the brain of a chippendale's dancer. fortunately, i got into a really good college if no one has ever heard of on a football scholarship. some people say i am kind of a jock. while, they don't say it. but they are thinking it. after that college went bankrupt, i bounced around for a while. took her more schools, some at that party and come up all should bow should arrests for underage drinking. i still dreamed of joining the nfl but settled for marrying an nfl cheerleader. being a cheerleader's has been prepared me for a lifetime of holding down jobs i'm not qualified for. after that came law school and local politics. when the cuban-american community hurt how my parents applied castro, they embraced me

wholeheartedly. >> i will always be the son of exiles. >> when they heard i was lying about that, it was too late. >> i wish would have known the date, i would have said they came in for castro. >> if you want a representative who can remember dates from history, you have to find someone with a better than c average. i got a c? that's on you. soon, i became the first cuban-american speaker of the florida half of representatives. or as my future boss would say, the first mexican. he is, like, so funny. next became yet another step of the social ladder. >> would marco rubio is sworn in today, the second youngest u.s. senator currently serving at age 39. >> the people are comparing him to a young barack obama as a matter of fact. >> so annoying. >> who is? >> i was in with the in crowd. >> everybody loves me. >> soon, the other kids tapped me to give the response to old man obama's state of the union address. wow. everything started off great. but then, things started to get

dry. >> america continues to be indispensable for the global -- >> and dryer. >> for short time i have been here in washington -- >> and dryer. then, tragedy struck. i tried to move slowly so that no one would notice but somehow, everyone noticed. with one step, i went from sigma to beta, rizz depleted, i had to do something to get my mojo back, no matter how desperate. dried away, the pitch pitch's got pitchy. >> when i showed up for the campaign in man heals and high-heeled booties. >> they only go on my feet. >> it is called style and glaring insecurity. ever heard of it? and then the meanest girl of them all came out of nowhere. >> and we will --

i mean, i need water, help me, i need water! help! this is on live television. this total joke artist. he was pouring water. he was sweating. i've never seen anything like it. i thought he just got out of a swimming pool with his suit on. >> oh, yeah, just like a cat when i get wet, i get mad. also kind of like mildewy. whatever. the point is, this kitty likes to scratch. >> donald is not going to make america great. he's going to make america orange. >> as long as he did not come up with a nickname for me, i have his battle won. >> i call him little marco. little. >> don't worry about it, little marco. >> little mouth on him. bang, bang. >> okay, that is hurtful. it was time to go burn book nuclear. >> you know what they say about men with small hands. >> come back from matt, boomer. >> he referred to my hands, if they are small, something else must be small. i guarantee you that, no problem.

>> oh. i was outplayed. i went from superstar to a short sweaty high-heeled loser. >> those heels were really up there. you will not see me wearing them. >> but i wasn't ready -- >> rubio! >> we get it. i was down but i wasn't out. well, i was out of the presidential race. you know what i mean. shut up. there was only one thing left to do. may cover! ♪ ♪ >> something you thought would never happen. >> marco rubio supporting trump. >> he's endorsed trump. >> he has inspired a movement. and together, we will not just make america great again. >> it was pathetic, it was embarrassing, it was so cringe. but most importantly, it worked! >> marco is a good guy, a really nice guy, and i like him. >> yes! i finally made it into the inner circle. i was one of the cool kids. in the end, i finally realized it is not about being the richest or the tallest are the most popular, it is what is

inside that counts. and inside, i have nothing. no spine, no principles, not even a shred of dignity, because all that really matters is that when you get pushed over, you fall in line. xoxo, little marco. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: when we come back, colman domingo will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. touches of black. they say a lot without having to say much. they stand for elegance. refinement. and prestige. even a little can go a long way.

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[cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an emmy-winning actor who has his second consecutive oscar nomination for his role in the film "sing sing." ♪ ♪ >> sometimes it is just all a but that is no excuse. and i hope you can forgive me. >> jordan: please welcome colman domingo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] >> jordan: even in that clip, we show a 13-second clip, and there is a beat and the audience is silent and the teardrops. that is some top-notch acting right there, you are feeling in that moment. >> thank you so much. it is a beautiful film. it is a film about the power of art, when you pour it into a human being, what blossoms, you know what i mean? that is what it's about. >> jordan: it's gorgeous. i wish you could bottle the joy and the hope that is in this film and pass it out to everyone. >> i did that. you are all getting gifts. >> jordan: oh, that is great. >> you are going to get one, you are going to get one! [cheers and applause] >> jordan: a little bit of joy underneath all of your seats. >> [laughs] >> jordan: it's a beautiful story. the transformative power of art.

did you have a moment for you as somebody who has been in the arts, on stage, in front of the camera? what do you think of when you think back on that? >> listen, i was a very shy kid, and just a nerd, and i felt, like, unpopular. honestly, the moment i took a theater class -- and it sounds so silly in a way. but i took a theater class and i felt like i came alive because i started to put myself in someone else's shoes and become other characters. it really felt like i had a voice. literally, i think my voice dropped into a deeper place. even when i teach acting -- every so often, i would teach acting -- i teach people more than anything to have a voice. i think that is the most important thing you get out of learning theater in every single way. that is the gift that i was given and that is what i like to share with other people and that is why this film is very important to me because i feel like it is just about finding your voice, finding you have feelings, and you can name them and you can actually place them and actually, it does some really good work in our film. it's based upon a rehabilitation in the arts program at sing sing prison where these inmates are

doing theater, and they really gain some skills that they did not know that they even needed. so much so that it transforms their lives. >> jordan: yeah, and a lot of the -- [applause] many of the actors in the film were a part of this program, were formerly incarcerated. >> 90% of our cast are formerly incarcerated men. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: is that right? 90%. >> these guys have the lived experience of going through this but also, they were trained on the inside. so i was working with actors and people who have training and respect for shakespeare, and we were just doing the work together. we sat at the table and we collaborated in a very gentle way. these guys, a lot of guys who were in prison 20 years, 25 years, but i love it is a little subversive because when you see the film, you don't know really -- now you know because i told you. >> jordan: [laughs] >> but you don't know really because it feels like a documentary in some way but then you realize that people are playing versions of themselves

when they were on the inside. it is really incredible. >> jordan: you are a cochair of the upcoming met gala. >> yes. this met gala is going to be centered on tailoring toward the black dandy, which is interesting, so it is honoring black men's style throughout history, and literally, i just had a meeting at the costume institute, and i was blown away in an extraordinary way, it is really looking at tailoring, there is so much more to it than one would even imagine. it is historical, it is also how people define themselves or redefine themselves, and then how they show up in the world. i feel like, i know as a black man in the world, i know the way i show up -- look at all of these basketballers. everyone is stunting now when they come out because they are telling a story and they are showing how they define themselves and redefine themselves regardless of the way the world may perceive them. they are like, no, and you do that with style. what i'm telling you all is, get a good sense of style. [cheers and applause]

>> jordan: thank you. work on it! i'm going to work on my style. and thank you for the film. it truly is a wonderful piece of art. "sing sing" is available to watch at home on all major platforms. colman domingo. we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [ car engine revving ]

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and occasionally, your right foot gets a little heavy. the lexus es didn't begin in a studio — it began with you. ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> jordan: that's our show for tonight. now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> let me just ask you, and maybe your last answer is a preview of what you could say here. but i want to hear why, but do you think that calling elon musk a dick's effective messaging for confronting waters eventually in a reversible transformation of the u.s. government? the u.s. government? >> well, he is a dick ♪ it seems today that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪

♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ all right. empty school. time to shining my way through the halls. [toy car whirring] principal shepherd, where is everyone? [in low, monotone voice] principal shepherd's not here, miss griffin. why are you talking like that? sorry. that was tony, the little boy who lives in my mouth. why are you here? it's skip day. it's skip day? nobody told me. she's unpopular and unattractive. tony! hello? chris?

did you know it was skip day? mom? dad? [beeps] [phone ringing] hello? -[meg] mom? where are you guys? -who is this? [meg] it's meg. where is everyone? well, this can't be meg. she's with us here at the pier. -who is that? -someone who says she's meg. give me that. okay, meg , if this is you, what's your birthday? [meg] march 23. i have no idea if that's correct. -good day, sir. -[beeps] sorry about that, everyone. now let's get back to the fair and enjoy our march 23. [♪ mellow music playing] -[bowling pins clacking] -[quiet chatter] the usual, please. here ya are, ladies' seven on the left, and men's 11 on the right. i just need a license. thanks. oh! and happy birthday!