that's what i'm talking about! >> there are certain defining moments in a person's life. the day he is born. the day he grows hair. the day he starts a business. and the day he sells that business back to dunder mifflin. what have i learned from all of this? it is far too early to tell. i am flying high and i don't even want to think about it. i just want to enjoy it. >> hey, guys-- >> no, no. you're done. >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central, it's america's only source for news... this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to the daily show, i'm desi lydic. we've got so much to talk about tonight. democrats can't remember where they put their rizz, america whitewashes black history month and donald trump loses a fight to a girl. so let's get right into it! ♪ ♪ >> i'm gonna come. [laughter] >> desi: since taking office, donald trump and the republicans have been making a lot of big changes, in the same way that godzilla made some big changes in tokyo. but there has also been a liberal opposition growing over the past few weeks. people have started taking to the streets and making their voices heard! >> hundreds of federal employees gathered on capitol hill for what they call a rally to save the civil service. ♪ ♪ which side are you on ♪ ♪ which side are you on ♪

♪ we'll fight against doge ♪ ♪ we'll fight elon musk ♪ ♪ which key are we on? ♪ >> desi: that sounded so bad, i had to cleanse my ears with an rfk junior speech. were there any protests that aren't just singing? >> there is a unique protest getting underway at the kennedy center. two dance companies are staging a dance protest, as they're calling it against the trump administration's recent takeover of the kennedy center. >> we have started to see dancers show up here to the kennedy center. doing a dance called the nelken line. it's by a german dance dancer. that is pretty popular. they tell me. ♪ ♪ [laughter] >> desi: is this how white ladies protest now? "i demand to dance for the manager!"

[laughter] but you know what, at least they're getting out there. these are regular citizens, doing their best. it's not their responsibility to block the trump agenda. that's on the democratic party. they have the talent and experience, honed from decades of asking me for money -- they'll know the most effective way to fight donald trump. >> we need to change the conversation. and that's why i'm launching a new podcast. [laughter] >> desi: cool. california governor gavin newsom is starting a podcast. i can't believe they rebuilt la that fast, glad you have the time! i mean, forgive me for not subscribing to the gavin newsom pomade hour, but i think the moment calls for a little more than polite conversation. although some democrats are taking that very literally. >> if you could speak directly to elon musk what would you say? >> [bleep] off. >> first and foremost [bleep] musk. >> donald trump and elon musk

>> i say [bleep] trump! >> desi: ooh! do you guys kiss your lobbyists with that mouth? that's right, the democratic strategy, written and directed by quentin tarantino. i get the spirit behind it, but cursing in politics doesn't age well. the gettysburg address wouldn't have been the classicit became if it went, "four score and a [bleep]ton of years ago..." not to mention, dropping the f-bomb isn't for everyone. i noticed congresswoman maxine dexter had a little bit of trouble. >> i'm going to tell you that we do have to, i don't swear in public very well but we have to [bleep] trump! >> desi: oof, you're right [laughter] you don't swear in public very well. there are a thousand ways to say "[bleep] you" and you found literally the only wrong one.

unless she meant it? "we have to [bleep] trump! there's a signup sheet next to the stage..." suck him off! suck him off!" [laughter] but not all democrats are filling up the swear jar, some have gone much more high-brow, with a little resistance wordplay. >> every time you hear doge, the department of government efficiency, you just remember it is the department of government evil. >> doge, which actually stands for destruction of government by elon. >> just stands for department of gutting education. >> dangerous oligarchs grab everything. >> desi: all right! [laughter] i see what you did there. i'm just glad that maxine dexter didn't join in, she'd be like "more like the department of glory-holing elon, aahhhh!"

right? [laughter] this is what happens when you're the party of liberal arts majors. maga stormed the capitol. and democrats are doing creative writing exercises. but hey, if clever acronyms aren't your thing democrats are also pulling out some timely pop culture references. >> we also know, of course, that elon musk is sending his unqualified doge staff to carry out this agenda across all of these agencies, and in some cases, actually teenage staffers. they're trying to rob you, and they're probably a minorrrrr. thank you, and i yield back. [laughter] >> desi: sorry, i became a republican for a second. i don't know how, but i think this congressman somehow just lost the beef for kendrick. i do think though that every rap battle should end with "thank you, i yield my time." but let's be fair -- not all of the democratic messaging has been breaking the

cringe-o-meters. bernie sanders has been on an anti-oligarchy tour, and his town halls have been drawing huge crowds. remember, he's been warning us about the oligarchy way before elon musk was wearing a maga hat. so this really feels like his moment. too bad he'll be 87 years old by the next election. unless we can give him the substance... [laughter] i'm half-way through that movie, i assume it all works out? i'll tell you one democrat who took it to trump face-to face: governor of maine, janet mills. [cheers and applause] last week, trump held a meeting at the white house, where he called her out for refusing to comply with his ban on trans athletes. and once he did that, she made it clear she wasn't gonna comply with any of his bullshit. >> the ncaa has complied immediately, by the way. that's good, but i understand maine -- is maine here?

the governor of maine? >> damn right i am. yeah i'm here. >> are you not going to comply with that? >> i'm complying with state and federal laws. >> well, we are the federal law. well, you better do it. you better do it because you're not going to get any federal funding at all if you don't. and by the way, your population, even though it's somewhat liberal, although i did very well there, your population doesn't want men playing in women's sports. >> we're gonna follow the laws. >> so you better comply because otherwise you're not getting any, any federal funding. >> we'll see you in court. >> every state -- good. i'll see you in court. i look forward to that. that should be a real easy one. >> should be for me. [cheers and applause] >> desi: yes. andy cohen will never make a show as good as what i just watched. forget singing, forget dancing. this is how you confront trump, with tipsy aunt energy. define the issues and force the court to pick a side. "which side are you on. which side are you on." no, no, stop that!

get it out of! stop! [laughter] for more on the democratic resistance, let's go to washington, d.c. with our very own grace kuhlenschmidt! grace, it seems like the governor of maine has the best strategy here for democrats: confront trump and take him to court. >> agree to disagree, desi. i think the other lady had the better idea. democrats need to [bleep] donald trump. [bleep] him rrrreal good. [laughter] >> desi: i don't think that was actually an idea. i think she just accidentally mis-spoke. >> a lot of great ideas come from accidents. silly putty, super glue, the titanic movie. >> desi: grace! it's not a real idea! how is [bleep]ing trump going to work? >> ...well, a penis goes into the vagina. >> desi: no, i mean like, how would democrats do that? >> oh, of course. girl on top, guy on top, reverse

cow-girl, the octopus. >> desi: no, i know how to do that! ...wait, what is the octopus? >> you need an above-ground pool and four people. ...or one person with a lot of arms. >> desi: forget it. but why would having sex with trump be a good strategy? >> think of all this guy's pent up anger, his terrible decision making, his frantic energy. he's got blue balls of the brain. think of it like a volcano. if you don't jack off the mountain every so often, it'll explode and wipe out an italian village. that's science, desi. >> desi: grace, that's not how volcanoes or the male body works. >> yes it is. but maybe if the democrats [bleep] him so good, he'll get that post-nut clarity. he'll be like, "wait, why am i cutting funding to stop ebola?! and what is elon doing here? i hate this guy!"

>> desi: no, grace, come on. there are better ways to stop trump than an orgy. >> okay, i didn't say "orgy." but i like it, you're a freak! look, it's not like anything else has worked. voting didn't work, indicting him didn't work, they even lost the election after getting an endorsement from america's sweetheart: liz cheney. the only option left is to run out the clock, four to seven minutes at a time. >> desi: that seems very ambitious. >> fine. three to five minutes at a time. [laughter] face it, desi: you want dems to take action? they got to give trump some action. you want dems to stop jerking off and get to work? they got to get to work, jerking him off. you want dems to not blow at their jobs? >> desi: okay, okay, i get it. i get where you're going. [laughter] >> yeah, i bet you get it, you sex monster. but if this isn't the strategy,

i literally don't know what is. >> desi: they could just embrace a younger generation who can clearly make the case for a pro-worker, progressive america. >> no, i think you were right. your group [bleep]fest idea is the only option. >> desi: that wasn't my idea! forget it. grace kuhlenschmidt, everyone! when we come back, we have a very maga black history month. so don't go away. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to the daily show. february is black history month, but has the trump administration changed the way we commemorate it? josh johnson hit the streets to find out. >> what's up world, it's josh johnson. it's also black history month. except this year trump is back in the white house and any mention of anything diverse, equitable and inclusive a.k.a. black is taboo. so i'm out here to find people who can celebrate the new [bleep] history. can you hit me with the story of

martin luther king jr. without saying stuff like [bleep] or [bleep]? >> he was a leader of the [bleep] at the time? >> a [bleep] is going to get people asking questions. tell me the story in a few sentences of rosa parks without saying stuff like [bleep]? >> woman who was tired? >> she was a woman in a time who needed transportation and she was unable to take the transportation she deserved -- in the dash can i say seat? in the seat she deserved? >> can you tell me about frederick douglass without

saying [bleep]? >> i know he was it was tupac who learned the most out of frederick douglas? who was inspiration to frederick douglass and what he did at this time who informed tupac to inform himself on the law. >> you hit me was something i never thought about before which is frederick douglas gave us tupac in a sense. what i did not see coming. >> why do you think some people are so against [bleep] history month? >> some people are just posterior orifices? i guess they have some issues. more therapy required to. >> the only thing a person has going for them the fact that they are white, they're going to cling to that. >> i agree with everything you said it's probably one of the worst things you could have hit

on. i will pull you aside for a quick sidebar. are there any [bleep] leaders that i'm not aware of that were getting together and going over malcolm x -- >> you could go to a concert and wait for her not to show up and talk to her at that concert. >> because you did such a great job, i have a price for you. you won a harriet tubman 20. i have for both of you, a harriet tubman $20 $20. maybe one day you can use those tubmans to buy something [bleep]. it would take a substantial amount to get beyonce tickets but in a better world. [cheers and applause]

thank you, josh, when we come back gabrielle union will be joining us on the show, so don't joining us on the show, so don't isn't the point of a luxury car to help you stand apart? why then, do so many people buy them? simply to blend in? ♪♪ oh wow. ♪♪ never mind. ♪♪ the gv70 by genesis. ♪♪ get 2.99% apr plus eligible owners can get $2,500 on select gv70 trims. ♪♪ y'all make sure y'all get 3 for 5 because they ain't advertising it, honey. oh, we're advertising it! get three pieces of our crispy,

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>> desi: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is an actor, producer and entrepreneur who stars in the new movie, "riff raff." >> what is with all the toys? >> those are vincent's model boats. >> he builds them to help him relax. >> are you [bleep] serious? yeah, i guess rocco is like that too. he does painting and stuff. yeah, you know me -- i don't really get art. >> can i get you anything, ruth? >> i would so my left tit for an agile and a cup of coffee. >> no need to sell anything -- d.j. can you help the lady out please? >> desi: please welcome gabrielle union! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ they are very excited to see you, as my. >> oh, my gosh. >> desi: so happy you are here. >> thank you guys. >> desi: right? they are! so happy that they are here. congratulations on the movie, it's so much fun. you're incredible in it and truth be told there are a lot of great tips on how to commit crimes in this movie and get away with it! >> well not to get away with it, but -- >> desi: almost, so close. spoiler alert. the cast is incredible. you, bill murray, ed harris, jennifer coolidge who you saw in the clip. pete davidson -- >> lewis pullman. i was a little intimated it initially. i think it was the third person to sign on. it was jennifer who is the star

and the icon was also the executive producer and it was ed harris and they were like you would be ed harris' love interest. [laughter] >> desi: okay! >> with all the right stuff. [laughter] yes please. >> desi: that's all it took. >> that's really all it took. >> desi: i read that you all filmed everything at 22 days, is that true? and mostly in one location? >> the vast majority is in one location which is the house you see in the film. which is a little smaller than it appears. we had a lot of challenges. like heat. [laughter] >> desi: if you're going to be stuck in a house for 22 days that's not a bad cast to be stuck in a house with. >> it's not a bad cast. when you bring animals to work, generally most people are like this anyone have allergies? and that didn't happen. >> desi: there were animals? >> someone brought their dog to

set except one of our cast members who shall remain nameless pete -- [laughter] he is terribly allergic to dogs. it starts with the -- and they were watching him turn. >> desi: oh, no! >> this is awful. and people think they are far enough away from where we are filming that they can eat doritos. you are delivering -- this is my oscar-winning performance it's like crunch, crunch. we didn't get that. >> desi: oh, my god. i have to say the movie is phenomenal and your work is phenomenal in it. congratulations on that. [cheers and applause] you are incredibly outspoken about the deep inequalities that exist in the entertainment industry. what does progress look like to you? >> when you move beyond representation. representation is step 1.

when there's a billion steps. i don't want a seat at a crappy table, that just means i'm covered in crap. i want to reel, the power to elicit change. you know what i mean? [cheers and applause] that doesn't come with step one. you have to actually be uncomfortable. when i started producing and i was putting together projects and when the rubber hits the road if they are like are you willing to give up money to make sure such and such is paid i'm like yeah, i am. [cheers and applause] you have to be willing to do the right thing even if it makes you uncomfortable or even if it doesn't actively benefit you. really quality and real liberation is what benefits all of us. [cheers and applause] >> desi: i want to talk about your daughter zaya who was honored at the out 100 event last year for her trailblazing

in the community. what does it feel like as a parent to watch your daughter be so fearless in advocating for rights especially right now at this moment in time when there's so much oppression, hate, fill in the blank from this administration? >> it's scary. and i am in awe constantly of her bravery. you know i'm like -- i'm pumped. the same way we would cheer for our son's first dunk i was like get them! the way she stands up for herself and the way she fights just as hard as anyone else who's liberty, whose very existence and humanity is at risk, she puts it all on the line. she doesn't back off for any anybody. doesn't matter if you hold the highest seat in our country, or your elon musk or maybe those are interchangeable. [laughter and applause]

she is about not only her liberation but everyone's liberation. when you start to barter with whole communities and you let them in the door, there in the house, they're coming for everybody and carol did no one watch handmaid's tale? it's coming. you have to fight and she's a fighter. i'm proud i raised fighters and i'm happy about that. [cheers and applause] >> desi: she has an excellent example in you to look up to as a mama. i'm so happy you're on, congratulations on everything. thank you for being here. "riff raff" is in theaters february 28th. gabrielle union everybody! we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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oh, we're advertising it! get three pieces of our crispy, juicy signature chicken for just 5 bucks. how's that? just go to popeyes. ♪ love that chicken from popeyes. ♪ check it out! sam adams made a light beer. crisp and easy drinkin. [gasps!] your cousin. from boston. ♪ o beautiful, for spacious skies, ♪ for am-! sam adams american light. >> desi: that's our show for tonight. now here it is -- your moment of zen. >> end of the day, we have to start of the pentagon would be to make a try gone, three sides instead of five sides and the pentagon. pentagon. it is way too big, way over

[♪ theme music playing] it's pretty cool we got our own mural, huh? eh, don't get too excited. you know who else has one? -the ox-bow incident. -what is that? set in bridger's wells, nevada in 1885, the ox-bow incident is a tale of cowboys, cattle and conflict. [patrick over speaker] if you guys could just take a seat. okay, here we go. ♪ it seems today that all you see... ♪ [peter] okay, welcome to family guy dvd commentary for episode 1614. i'm peter griffin, joined by my wife lois, our dog brian, and our children, meg, stewie and chris. [brian] and for you kids out there, dvds were plastic discs... [stewie] i-i got this, brian. have you ever been at your grandmother's house and you look at her weird, old computer, and there's, like, a crack on the side of it? that's dvds. [peter] oh, and animation producer shannon smith is here, too.

[shannon] glad to be here. this is actually... [peter] oh, wait, wait. look, look. lot of people don't know this, but that house is actually in burbank. people keep stealing their mailbox. [announcer on tv] we now return to "winona ryder distracting from other speeches in history." four score and seven years ago... [peter] wow, yeah, yeah, i remember this. winona ryder kind of hung out on set all day, and it, uh, wore a little thin on all of us. [stewie] yeah, i actually had to close a door on her at one point. [lois] i-i just remember she stole a ton of luna bars from the office kitchen. like-like, filled a whole duffel bag. great news, everyone. the new smartphone from crabapple is out. the new crabapple phone? awesome. [lois] yeah, the network doesn't like us using the names of actual companies on the show. [peter] it's not so bad, though. we can still say burger kong, mcdarrel's, kooka cola, pipsi, chevrolump and all the big ones. i want to be the first to get the new phone. i don't care if it takes all day. don't you have work? eh, i wouldn't mind missing work. there's a secretary looking for reassurance about her overly short haircut. i saw it in a magazine.

i needed a fresh start. stop pretending to stare at your phones and just say you hate it. sir, i am trying to read. [stewie] ah, the writer credits have begun. i'm gonna give personal facts about each of the names that pops up. mom, will you tie my shoes? [stewie] smokes on the no-smoking balcony. weird church guy. instagrams cowboy hats at 3:00 a.m. pushed his wife at a party. oh, my god, cherry's the best. we love her. hi, cherry. we love you! kids, time to gather up our old cords and chargers that no longer work and throw them in the garbage. we can't do that. don't you know a lot of discarded electronics end up in the ocean and kill sea turtles? well, then let's cut out the middleman. [grunting] i'm sorry. there's a new phone. [peter] that was cool. i got to go to fiji for that. they got a ton of turtles there. you can kill 'em, nobody cares. [meg] oh, my gosh. i just got it. crab-apple. [stewie] take a lap, meg. think about what you said. hey. gold phone is mine. already match fingernail.