ufd crust pizza. epic. epic. eyyyy! we're making you an epic stuffed crust pizza for $13.99. better ingredients. better pizza. papa johns. yeah, you, first question. go ahead. [reporter] meg was noticeably absent from the episode. was that a team decision or... yeah, i'm not going to be answering any questions about meg. we'll be dealing with meg internally. -over here. -[reporter 2] do you think we'll be seeing more of peter and bonnie teaming up? i thought it played pretty well. uh, we'll have to look at the tape on that and, uh, make a decision moving forward. -yeah. -[h. jon benjamin] you guys used to be on at 9:00, now you're on at 9:30. what happened with that? all right, i'm done here. this suit cost $40,000 and i'm throwing it away after this press conference. okay, over here? >> from the most trusted journalists at comedy central, it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host michael kosta! [cheers and applause]

>> michael: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm michael kosta. tonight donald trump unites half the country, democrats keep staples in business, and mice finally get their own culture were carried let's get into our ongoing segment, "the second coming of donald j. trump." his ago musical. >> i'm going to come. >> michael: last night donald trump gave his first joint address to congress of his new term, and i've got to tell you, as a kid it was a bit of a civics nerd, i used to think these were pretty sweet events. you've got the president, the supreme court, every member of congress in the same room. it's basically the oscars for people with loose skin. but these days, a speech to

congress is just a theatrical production where everybody has a role and they slip right into it. so, places, everyone! democrats showed up in full wardrobe, dressed in pink as a symbolic protest against people who wanted them to do something meaningful. they came with props too, holding up little paddles like they were ready to give mike johnson a naughty little spanking. either that or a pickleball match. and you know what? [bleep] pickleball. do you ever play? [applause] once you get to the front line you are not even to move, stupid is that? i'm edgy. and some democrats took the signage to the next level. congresswoman rashida tlaib had a dry erase board that she updated throughout the night with protest messages like "stop lying to the american people," or "no king," or "that's a lie."

she went through a lot of them. she she said one that said "who has luigi's sex tape?" she did that cool s. "these markers are getting me high." she had one message that especially resonated with me. it said "lucky loser by michael kosta in stores march 11th." yeah. i know it's not really appropriate venue for that but i appreciate it and i should also mention that "lucky loser," my book, it's in stores next week starting on tuesday. you can order it now. [applause] but those were just the bit players of the night. one democrat even gave himself a speaking part. >> democrats interrupting just . democrat al green haggling the president, shaking his cane at him.

>> members are directed to uphold and maintain decorum in the house. >> speaker mike johnson stopping the speech, ordering green be removed from the chamber. >> michael: there is something kind of bad-ass about shaking a cane at someone. don't [bleep] with me unless you want to take this very slowly outside. i will say props to this guy. he got to send a message to president trump and go home early. you know? i should have -- [applause] i should have tried that when i wanted to leave my nephews baptism. "you do not have the mandate, i'm out of here!" let's not forget about the republicans. they also played their part in this performance, which was to cheer and hoot for their guy and make sure that everyone knew what country this was. [crowd chanting "usa"]

>> michael: yeah, usa, usa! careful, guys, the last time republicans got this rally at the capital nancy pelosi had to bleach her desk. here's a moment that encapsulated the embarrassing theater of the entire night. it's before the speech even started when donald trump is walking down to the podium surrounded by hooting republicans when a democrat walks up behind him with a sign that says "this is not normal." okay. which, first of all, i think it is normal at this point. trump has been in our lives for a decade now, sadly this is our normal in the same way that 20 years ago it wasn't normal that drunkenly jump in the backseat of a stranger's car but now it's called huber and there's only a 50% chance you end up murdered, so yeah, shit changes.

but anyway, that democrat that's holding a sign that's wrong and ineffective and then a divorced dad republican sees the sign, reaches over and exit out of her hand and chucks it onto the floor, and she just stands there and does nothing. she's like "well, that sign was my only idea." [laughter] but forget the supporting cast. the star of the night was donald trump, and you have to admit, he showed a lot of range last night. [boos] okay. like when he talked about goetsch finding social security fraud, he got to show off his lying skills. >> we are also identifying shocking levels of incompetence and probable fraud in the social security program. government databases list 4.7 million social security members from people aged 100 to 109 years old. 3.6 million people from ages 110

to 119. 3.5 million people from ages 140 to 149. and one person is listed at 360 years of age. [laughter] >> michael: i can't believe we are paying that many people social security. i can't believe it because it's not true. and i could -- it's been debunked. i could explain why it's false and white trump is wasting everybody's time over an excel spreadsheet error, or in the time it would take to explain it, we can watch this video of my dog walter. ♪ ♪ fact-check, he's perfect. but trump spent a lot of his

performance on the waste elon musk is finding while also showcasing his masterful ability to troll. >> just listen to some of the appalling waste we have already identified. $20 million for the arab "sesame street" in the middle east. diversity, equity, and inclusion scholarships in burma, improving learning outcomes in asia. lgbtqi+ in the african nation of lesotho. $8 million for making mice transgender. >> michael: oh, yeah. i remember that children's book. i think it's called if you give a mouse a pussy? to be fair, $8 million to transition mice is a waste of money. just look at mickey mouse. you put a $6 bow on him and, boom, minnie mouse.

but hey, trump, maybe you shouldn't criticize weird science stuff when your new best friend is the one putting microchips in monkey brains, and when those monkeys die, your other new best friend is taking them home in a doggy bag. but still, trump did show his range. when his speech turned to greenland he showed off a very singular special talent, reassuring our allies in a bizarrely threatening way. >> i also have a message tonight for the incredible people of greenland. we strongly support your right to determine your own future, and if you choose, we welcome you into the united states of america. we need greenland for national security and i think we are going to get it one way or the other we are going to get it. a. >> michael: does trump listen to himself when he talks? he's sending a lot of mixed messages right now. do you hear that come agreement? it's your choice... but you will be ours.

totally your call. it's inevitable. look, guys come agreement, it's up to you. we are easy, okay? give us your minerals now. of course part of trump's role in his performance is also announcing a major new policy but doing it in the trumpyest way possible. >> other countries have used tariffs against us for decades and now it's our turn to start using them against those other countries, and so on april 2nd, i wanted to make it april 1st, but i didn't want to be accused of april fools' day. i'm a very superstitious person. april 2nd, reciprocal tariffs kick in. >> michael: yeah. this makes perfect sense. trump can't make announcements on april fools' day. otherwise we would all be like "what? is this a joke?" [laughter] as opposed to every other day where that isn't our reaction to the stuff he does.

i love the level of reverence trump shows for april fools' day. juneteenth, that's not even a word. this april fools' day we will honor our ancestors by playing pranks and overall tomfoolery. it's important. no one over the age of 14 even celebrates april fools' day. that's like thing i was going to end inflation next friday but that's actually when the kids choice awards are, so we will see. but as always, the most important part of trump's performance, needling the democrats. >> joe biden, the worst president in american history. joe biden especially let the price of eggs get out of con control. joe biden's insane and very dangerous open border policies. look where biden took us. very low, the lowest we've ever been. do you want to keep it going for another five years? you would say -- pocahontas says yes. i look at the democrats in front of me and i realize there is

absolutely nothing i can say to make them happy or to make them stand or smile or applaud. nothing i can do. >> michael: i don't get why everyone that i've been bullying for ten years never smiles at me. why don't you like me you limped dick lunatics to by the way, how is trump still obsessed with biden? move on, dude! you won! right? [cheers and applause] you think mark zuckerberg is still talking about tom from myspace? no! he's busy having a midlife crisis. look at this! also, dude, you busted out the elizabeth warren pocahontas line? that is such an old joke. you might as well have been like "hey, pocahontas, wazzzzuuuupp?" so all in all, my review of last nights theater production is that it was humiliating and a display of thirst for attention, blind partisan rage, and a total

disinterest in joint anything that might benefit the people. in other words, it truly was the state of the union. for more on last nights speech, we go live to the capital with ronny chieng. [cheers and applause] ronny, last night's spectacle had to be a new low for america. >> oh, yeah, sure, a new low. boo-hoo. it was so crazy. people were holding up signs, and all guy yelled something. last night was nothing. that shit was more boring than "white lotus." >> michael: it's not all about the plot, they are building the characters -- what matters here is that our nation's leaders were acting like screaming children. that's embarrassing. >> let me give you some international perspective. watch what happened in serbia's

parliament yesterday. look at this. that's smoke bombs! this looks like philadelphia after a super bowl, or any day! do you know how many smoke bombs you have to set off to overpower cigarette smoke in serbia? that is an abandonment of decorum. especially in serbia, a country where 80% of the men work as bouncers. how about taiwan? longtime democracy, polite asian country. look at their parliament last month. here they are politely barricading each other with chairs in a complete disregard for feng shui. it's like, hey, taiwan parliament, how about you stop fighting and come over and help me move my apartment. i only have three chairs, it would take no time. >> michael: all right, i get your point. >> too bad, because i'm not done. look at italy, okay? look at this. i don't even know why they are fighting. it's probably because somebody voted to add pineapple on pizza?

i'm on the country of georgia. normal, normal, your face! punched in the face. that guy just really snuck up on you coming in from the front like that in a well-lit room. >> michael: i see what you are saying. you're saying that in america we are better than that. you're right, thank you, ronny. >> no. i'm saying we should also be doing that, all right to yeah! [cheers and applause] america, if you are going to get rowdy don't half-ass it with a little white board. congress should look like walmart on black friday or philadelphia on any day. >> michael: if we do that, congress won't get anything done. >> they already don't get anything done! you might as well start a royal rumble! which reminds me, i better get out of here, estonia has an agricultural committee meeting

on pay-per-view. >> michael: ronny chieng, everybody! when we come back, julien baker and torres will be joining me, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ give me a hot pink cosmopolitan... and some drama. give me a ketel one soda... with a twist. give me an early morning tee time and a bloody mary with ketel one vodka. give me a cocktail. with ketel one vodka.

[cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." my guests tonight are critically claimed musicians whose forthcoming album is called "send a prayer my way." please welcome julien baker and torres!

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ hello, how are you! wow! look at these outfits! i mean, i thought i looked good. >> yeah. >> michael: look at these outfits, these are amazing. for those of you that know your individually music wouldn't necessarily have thought you would get together to make a country album. how did we get here? what happened? >> julien and i have been friends for a little while and when the pandemic lockdown occurred, i texted her kind of out of the blue because i'd been thinking about making a country record for a while but i didn't want to do it alone and dillion was the first person i thought of, because she's from tennessee. i'm from georgia. it just made sense. >> michael: it's beautiful. i love it.

it's being called a queer country album. does that invoke anything? do you bother that someone might call it that? are you proud of that? >> i'm certainly proud of it. i mean -- yeah. [cheers and applause] we are queer, you know? you know, if it were up to me, it would just be country. >> michael: yes, yes. speak about, you know, i'm very proud to have made a queer country album, absolutely. >> michael: the title, "send a prayer my way," evokes religion. tell me your journey with religion. am i overthinking it? >> absolutely not. i think mckenzie and i know a little bit about that firsthand. we were both raised in religious household and social context and culture, you know, i think there's this idea that when you

talk about a practice of prayer, you are talking about a dogmatic religious belief. i feel like organized religion is not necessarily the same thing, maybe often gets in the way of a pursuit of the divine buried. >> michael: the pursuit of the divine, that's bad-b-17. [applause] and how cool is it that you are going to play for us? >> really cool. really cool. [applause] >> michael: amazing. i love your album, everyone needs to listen to it. "send a prayer my way." you are going to play "bottom of the bottle" for us, what can you tell us about that song? >> it's a drinking song. >> michael: hell yeah! i had a feeling. >> that's the first song you sent me. >> i believe it was the first demo i spent dominic sent julien when we were passing ideas back and forth. >> you sent me an email, the subject line was "pastiche."

>> [laughs] it was a little nod to some of my country boy heroes. the george straits and whatnot. >> michael: right, right. it's a great song. george strait is here tonight. we're looking forward to it, thank you so much for being here, talking with us. "send a prayer my way" comes out april 18th, it's available for preorder now. stay tuned for a special performance after the break. yes. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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♪ baby, i'm tired of waiting ♪ ♪ go re-charge your batteries, ♪ ♪ come back to me and make your mama proud ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i need your arms around me, ♪ ♪ i need to feel your touch ♪ ♪ and i really want to talk! ♪ >> michael: now to play "bottom of a bottle," please welcome back julien baker and torres. ♪ ♪ >> ♪ i care too much for my own good ♪ ♪ i've got a dog in each and every fight ♪ ♪ lost a few along the way ♪

♪ as soon as day turns into night ♪ ♪ i have been known to go lookin ♪ ♪ to find what was mine ♪ ♪ i lost my nerve ♪ ♪ so i searched the corner bar ♪ ♪ i lost my faith ♪ ♪ so i went wishin on a lone star ♪ ♪ i lost my woman ♪ ♪ so i went swimmin in a river of four roses ♪ ♪ next thing i knew i was horizontal and my friends ♪ ♪ were fishin me out the bottom of a bottle ♪

♪ i'm missing you more every day ♪ ♪ i can't keep the wantin-you at bay ♪ ♪ not that i've tried to even try ♪ ♪ i keep lookin for you and your brown eyes ♪ ♪ in all the wrong places ♪ ♪ just to cover all my bases ♪ ♪ checked every honky tonk in town ♪ ♪ i lost my nerve ♪ ♪ so i searched the corner bar ♪ ♪ i lost my faith ♪ ♪ so i went wishin on a lone star ♪ ♪ i lost my woman ♪ ♪ so me and my double vision went spinnin ♪

♪ next thing the ground was coming up at me like gospel ♪ ♪ truth is easier to swallow at the bottom of a bottle ♪ ♪ if you hear this song someday ♪ ♪ please send a prayer my way ♪ ♪ i lost my nerve ♪ ♪ so i searched the corner bar ♪ ♪ i lost my faith ♪ ♪ so i went wishin on a lone star ♪ ♪ i lost my woman ♪ ♪ woke up alone, my head pounding something awful ♪

♪ oh god, don't let me die here at the bottom of a bottle ♪ [cheers and applause]

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♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy ♪ peter, i just hit a pothole in the road and got a flat. the man who helped us gave her his card. i'd keep an eye on that. this town is falling apart. last week the bridge over the collapsed bridge collapsed. well, you're a middle-aged woman with no job. maybe you should get really worked up about it. you know what? i think i will. i'm going down to city hall to complain. this town needs a mayor. [door opens then closes] y-you forgot your baby. miss? [♪ serene music playing] thank you all for coming over to help us find the best candidate for mayor. this room is so diverse, so i'm assuming many of you have agendas.

but let's keep in mind we need a mayor who will represent all of quahog and not just satisfy your weird little fringe issues, which are important, but not very important. as a descendent of quahog's puritan forefathers, i think we should be able to throw a woman into a pond to see if she's a witch. that seems a bit extreme, don't you think? that's exactly what a witch would say. lois, you're making this harder than it needs to be. just get a former batman and move on. i'm sure val kilmer could use the insurance. peter, we're not going to get a former batman. that has been pitched every day since adam west died and the response has been tepid at best. we need someone with fresh ideas. someone who knows the issues. well, if you're looking for someone with issues, i think you've found your candidate. [laughs] [stewie laughs] i had to go to bed early because it's a grown-up party, but mom said if i was quiet, i could listen from the top of the stairs. you know, i think you might be a really good candidate. you know the town, you're smart