talk about her views on writing. her latest rumination on life is "lots of candles, plenty of cake," and she'll be ready for your calls, tweets and e-mails starting at noon eastern on "in depth" on c-span2. ..

>> thanks very much for having me. i am really pleased to be here to talk about this book which i spent the better part of a year running. what i want to say in this informal gathering is to give you a sense why i wrote the boo. what i want to say in this informal gathering is to give you a sense why i wrote the book and what my goals were in doing so. most of you know my political analyst edge this is a book about parenting. some people have suggested imus had incredible insight that i would write a book at the time when the mommy wars are happening. i had no idea there would be political discussions about the time my book was coming out but let me mention this whole

discussion about at home moms or working moms or single moms is such a mistake because we don't need to be divided. we have so much in common. as i talk to weather moms, how many moms came to me and said as we would discuss it, i feel like a single mom. my husband travels or whatever it might be or works long hours and so what is important is as i tell my stories in this book i had so many people say that reminds me what happened when i was raised or something my mom did or dad did it or something about how their own experiences, i have found when it comes to being a mother mothers can match. they all have their own stories. that is what is so fun. people are recalling good times

and funny times and crazy times they had in their own life. basically the book, "bay and her boys," is a positive, a beach, entertaining account of my life as a single mom and as i write it i do with stories and anecdotes to demonstrate the lessons i learned as i did this through my kids most often. i take from those lessons rules especially for single moms. happened that i became a single mom when i was dumped into the world's single moms 24 years ago. it was something i never expected. i was raised as one of nine children, big irish catholic family and my father was a central figure. i happened to be one of those fortunate individuals where i

went to college thinking i had the greatest childhood there was. that my family was the best imaginable family. we had our own issues but i loved the high energy craziness in that home that we had. i always expected to be a mom. i wanted to be able to give my kids that kind of great childhood where they love their own home or family and that experience that they had in those early years. i found myself with the 4-year-old, 2-year-old and single and pregnant with my third son and a single mom with no dad in the home. it was heartbreaking as anyone who has been through a divorce knows but i didn't know i would be able to provide for my kids the same way my dad and mom provided for me financially and emotionally and that kind of

structured, wonderful life. i felt this enormous loss for my children and i had to work through that as i was pregnant and six months before the baby was born. i had to look at myself and say i can't just give up, they have something as great as i have. it might not be the same. it can be as good. it has to be because i have to be able to do this. i remember my dad who had come from a broken family. his dad walked out when he was in third grade. i knew that had happened but as you are a kid you think his mom raised him alone but he told me when he was probably in his 60s

he had nine children and was successful professional and well known in his community and coach of so many teams and i came down the steps and he was sitting there, he said to me i can still remember him believed i can still remember my dad as a tall man with red hair and after he left us i would for years look for tall redheaded men in the corridors of the school or the sidewalk in hopes that that was him. when i see somebody who might be my would run hoping it was my dad and it was heartbreaking. high school or college he made this to me and i thought here is a guy, it has been over 50 years and yet he still had this hole in his heart.

still had this angst to about what happened to him. this is more than we realize at times. that made me say i have to compensate. i have to do something. my first chapter i tell this story as i am telling you now and what i came to grips with is as our work through this and realize something has to be different. i have to make sure i can do this. i ran into a friend i haven't seen in years. i ran into her and was great to see her and i was animated and excited and how are you doing and she stepped back and said i feel terrible to tell you this but i am divorced. you could see in her face, i am such a failure. it upset me because i thought you can't be a failure. you are a single mom.

you cannot be a failure. that is the important thing. i don't know what happened. it doesn't matter what happened to. as i wrote in the book is so important that if you are a single mom or a single parent even to not spend all this time thinking what i should of the nor could have done or what could have been. it is done and you have to spend all your energy on what you are now and be proud to be the mother of your children and give it everything. that is the key. that is where you can be successful and not to be apologetic or feel you can live up to this role because you can and you have to because what is at stake is your children. my first chapter, as i wrote that chapter i realized as i raised those kids it was great concern to me was where was the encouragement? where was the message of hope?

as a conservative we have messages for everybody. so does the left. that is the political debate. yet when i saw lots of my friends, we go to the cable televisions with the latest reports on life for children raised by single moms. all these reports, doing them for 20 years. they would go out and say here's another report that proves categorically that children are tried best when they are raised in a two parent home. that is what they say. nobody denies that. the numbers are frightening. as i would hear the numbers come across the screen, increased possibility of children failing in school or getting into drugs or getting in trouble with the law goes on and having emotional illness or physical illness the list goes on and you think oh my gosh. after i heard one of my friends

saying how critical that is, i thought to myself what if that is not possible? what do we do? maybe i should just serve marijuana for desert. they are done for any how. there was no message of listen, here's what you might do. there was not one. i would constantly say to myself surely we have a message for single moms. we want their children to succeed as much as we want everyone's children to succeed. we don't want to write that group of fans say those nineteen million children are up the creek. good luck. i really felt a lack of a message. wasn't just from the right. was from the left as well. nothing set i know it will be tough, brutally challenging. there are some things you can do. you might find it difficult but

as a mom you can look into yourself and find enormous reserve, enormous strength. the ability to be absolutely certain that you can do this because you are your children's mom. as i developed this book and i was writing a way i realized the thing i want to -- the second point i wanted to make after i said take care of yourself, get control of your life and look at it in a positive manner to take care of your children the next thing was to let everyone know i agree that is critical so how do you compensate for this? how do you make it so that the odds are so against your children? i even asked my son is to write their story down, what is it like being raised without a father? i felt it very important that all parents know that kids suffer when there is a divorce

and suggest they don't has full yourself but what can you do to make it that much easier. basically my rule in the second chapter is never bad mouth dad. don't share all those things you feel and a tough thing that led up to a divorce. what ever happened is not their concern. it wasn't them. this may be the toughest thing to do especially after a divorce. they want to share with everybody what happened. this was my logic. if indeed a dad in a home helps your children to thrive, give them a dad in their lives. give the opportunity to see the kids and the designated time and look at thursday, it is when they were nothing. give them thursday or friday, as

much time as he is willing to spend with the kids because this is the second most important relationship and the case of a single mom most important man in their lives. give them that relationship. never bad mouth third dad. i don't want anyone to think i was the st. holding seminars, on the final strains of my ex. that wasn't happening. if i heard them talking about him i would try to tell them a positive. let me tell you the kind of tennis player he was. he was amazing. incredible tennis player. a great athlete. within hours i would tell them saying my dad could really play tennis. he was a great athlete. they want to be able to share what their dad is like and have the pride and that is what i did. i want to tell you that it was just about a year and a half ago my oldest son had his first son,

he told me he wanted to name him after his dad and my first reaction was after your dad? i don't know why we can't change angela into a male name but that is okay. you want to name after your dad. in named his son after his dad and i was there for that first month and we had lunch one day just the two of us. he said out of nowhere i want to thank you for never bad mouthing my dad, never say anything mean about him. i never wanted to hear anything bad. i still don't want to hear anything bad and i want to thank you. i thought that is amazing. at the time i was just thinking don't say anything. i never wanted them to feel they were part of this mess. they needed to know their dad loved them. and they could love him in our

home openly, could talk about him openly, speak positive things and i would encourage it. that was a dad in their life at least. i go from that chapter and promise i won't take every single chapter and give you all the details but that gives you an idea why i wrote this story. i saw there was no positive message out there. no one saying you can do it. i felt single moms needed that having no so many and come across them. so much hard tough times. somebody can say to them listen, i know you can do it. talk to any mom and she had tough days too. nothing unusual. you can do this and your kids will bring such -- i can tell you categorically i was a better mom because i was a single mom. everything into those children. as i talk about it one of my other rules is you have to put your children first.

they have to be first in someone's life. i put them first in my life and rearrange my life so i was there with them every chance i could. obviously have to work but i chose jobs where i was my own boss so i could say take it easy. no question i had that benefit, i was able to do that. didn't make a lot of money but put enough together to keep food on the table and a house over there head. i mentioned in this book mothers don't have that opportunity what they should do, how they can turn it into a situation where they can not only provide for their children but they can be there for them. as a parent that is what you have to do. you can't just do one. if there are two parent works better because one can do the providing and the other can be there more often. a lot of parents work out those arrangements but when you are single you have to have a job

that allows you to be there with your kids. i talked-about how important -- i met somebody -- so many little things about being a parent that had somebody mentioned it to you, you would really right away say oh my gosh, absolutely correct. if only i thought about that. i remember one day i was at one of those baseball practices, my son tommy played baseball, this is boring, wasn't big on these boards. and yet i would go and i would go to all the games i could and sat next to this woman, she and i watched when our kids were at bat. somebody hit something year than in the field otherwise we talked. no interest in the rest of the game. only when our kids were doing. she said to me she was going to get a divorce. she had two boys. i had known her for some years.

she said we never even have dinner together. i fix meals and put it out and they pick up their plate and take it to their room. even their dad takes it to where he has his computers and things. why would they go to their rooms? she said that is where they have tvs and entertainment centers. in their rooms? in their bedrooms? probably something she didn't think of. was good when they were younger because they would get out of the living room and have places to go. i don't know. i thought to myself as i right in the book one of the keys to being successful as a parent is to do things that forces the family together. no matter what they do they have to be together. they want to watch tv they have all three boys negotiate who is going to pick what. if they use the computer they

are all there together. i put them in the kitchen or a room where we would all be. that way if someone is on the computer, what are you reading? conversation. or look something up. look up there recipe as i am cooking. you are constantly involved with them and they with you just naturally because if you try to bring them together, we are going to do this and they have other options, there's another option than hanging out with mom. a family centered home is such a simple idea and so easy to do, a lot of people don't think of it. one idea, one of my chapters is on simplifying and reducing expectations because you have the same expectations you had before you had children like they're going to be perfectly dressed and perfectly groomed and terrific manners and have clean rooms and clean little

boys anyone would be proud of, if you keep those expectations you're setting yourself up for absolute failure. as a single mom i had to drop those things. three course meals seven days week or homemade desserts every day. pizza and we were happy because i had to give it up. what would mom think? you know, that is -- this is good enough. i am with the kids when they are eating a pizza. that is the most important thing. not what we were eating but what was there together. i remember this gal told me once she had four boys and she said stocks came up. my second son is a nut case on stocks. he would never wear the socks i bought an had taken shopping to different stores that he would put his hand in stocks at 6

years old. what in the world are you looking for? is wife tells me he is the same way. i don't know. something bug him about most stocks. all the kids -- doing the laundry -- i have one kind of sock -- they always match because that is all we have. what a brilliant ideas! are about when there are white stocks. their sister got married and they did something to their mom. how many hours did that save? i wish i had figured this one out.

those kinds of things are in the book and the idea being used simplify the full extent you can and so you are focusing your time on the important stuff. another incident, in my home i have rules and i realize when they are very young. all you do is yell at the kids and always on their case. put them aside for a later date. manners was very high on my list. i thought the boys should keep the room. head to your room and say we are done and i would go down and couldn't see a difference. this is not done. i would have to work on it and

along period of time. i cannot be on their case all the time. spy in the bedroom is your business. i lost your case. i apologize to your white that a later date. in the meantime you have to make it so when i do the laundry i get to the pressure. i wouldn't go to the hall to look at the rooms because i would become so anxious. i had the laundry done and -- it was two or three deep across the floor. and all the way across the room to the dresser, and came out. it was not worth the battle.

and i was taught as a young girl and set of brothers we will not tolerate it. won't tolerate it and don't need to. tommy was in second grade in a basketball team in school in third grade or so. all the kids use bad words. i want to fit in. could i have one bad word? i said no. you don't have any bad words. that is ridiculous. i was not going to tolerate any. i assure you he probably use bad words but other than that he knew where my standard was and that was important. you establish rules and you and force them. they have to know those two go together. once a rule was established you tell them what the consequences are and let them know as often as you can and make certain they are aware ahead of time as they

go to the next stage of wife, then you and force them. you are the parents and kids need that enforcement. they have to know you are the authority figure. being a friend is a cop out. to can't be friends with a teenager? that is the easiest thing. just support what they want to do. they are happy and most teenagers will tell you joey's mom says he can do it. i don't care what joey's mom says. you have to be the person that gives them the rules. so the book goes on. let me close up with this story and open up to questions. as i learned as a single mom is tough. much more fun than anything i have ever done but hardest thing i have ever done as a parent but the most rewarding. the most rewarding thing to do. i remember this one time i

decided to take my best friend's sun, they lived in california, we move back to virginia. we were going back to the pennsylvania mountains, a resort up there has a lake and mountains and take bikes and we have been there once before so we invite her son to go with us so my oldest son billy had his friend with him and we drove up there and got there at 4:00 at night and i registered and went to the cottage and billy was anxious to show his friend eric this waterfall which was around the lake and up this path which was pretty wide. we were not going to get lost and he had been there many times and there was a little bit of a cliff of 20 or 30 feet, into this small pond. so tiny and stewart were at the house and billy and derrick went

off their bikes. we didn't get to the dining hall. they didn't come home. it was an hour-and-a-half had passed and they were gone. so i said go find out where those kids are and get them home. he leaves and somebody knocks on the door. my son stewart is very anxious. he answers the door and his older brother is pale as a sheet, his arm twisted in some odd shape with blood coming off of his leg and he panics and yells for me and racism to the back room and shut the door. he wants nothing more to do with this. i bring believe in and i now know billy is okay. not doing well but going to be fine. where is derek? he said derrick went to get help. i don't know where he is. he was supposed to get help. what happened as he tells me he and derek were climbing around

this waterfall on this side of it, very steep and he dropped 15 or 20 feet until a branch caught him or he caught a branch and it is arm but his leg was large and could get it through. he caught up and derek said i will get on the bike and get help. derrick came down that dirt path. he didn't realize there was a fork and he went to the left. started realizing something was wrong and pushed his way until the bike would go anywhere and he couldn't see anything but growth because there was no path. he was lost in the woods so that was why billy finally wedge his foot out and was in shock and walked the 2 miles and blocked by two people who said to him how are you doing?

he said fine. one issue, blood pouring. obviously was in shock. i called up to the registration and i said i have one kid missing and one with a broken arm. can you send help and her response was didn't you just register? i said yes. two hours ago. they send a team to see how billy is and they say you have to go to the hospital. they can do anything unless you sign. i am not leaving. i have a kid lost in the woods and i have to be here. i have to know he is fine. we didn't have cellphones at the time. they have the volunteer fire department out looking for this friends. and our passes and the guy says he is going into shock. i said i am not leaving.

so stuart comes out and i am pasting. what do i do? here is billy suffering and here is derrick watched. stuart goes right to the point. are you going to call derek's mom? i looked at him and yelled i lost her only son in the woods! know i am not! i kept thinking we have got to find him. fortunately he wandered around and came across a cabin and it was dark. they told me they didn't find him in the next 15 minutes they would have to wait until morning. but we did find him and i was able to go to the hospital and say we had such a funny experience here. if i had a partner i kept thinking if i had a dad, one of us could have gone one way and one the other but i had to stay right there and hope everything worked out. it did work out but being a single mom, there is nothing

that made me grow to a better person than having those three kids and my hope and prayer is this book is able to get in the hands of many people, most importantly single moms. you can really do this. their kids might feel that strength that comes from having a mom in charge who knows that all will be well and to give that message to their kids and that other parents might be able to read and take from my lessons and maybe learn before they need the lesson and be able to apply its of parenting is that much easier for them and that much more fun. let me open it up. thank you for coming out today and giving me a chance to talk about this book which really is written from the heart and have you ask any questions you may

have. [applause] >> does anyone have any questions? >> when did you decide you were going to write this book? >> it was early on. several gears as i was raising those children. i had one friend in particular. you won't believe what happened this weekend and he would say you have got to write a book mostly to tell my story about the kids but there was in the last -- that story that there was no positive message old-time, i feel many enormous closeness and understand what they're going through. at them know not to get down. that was in the back of my mind. i started writing something when the kids were younger but it didn't work.

i would go on vacation and let's go to the swimming pool and thinking that is what i should be doing. once the youngest went to college and i decided this was the time to do it and i tell you it was very difficult. you have to relive things that you never cared to relive again. i would have to write about those. as i got over that part and doing all the wonderful stories with the kids and even stewart wrote a few of them. i asked him to write a few stories. i became very serious about writing three years ago. >> one of the most interesting rules is their parent, not their friend, how do you do that in regard to their school work and keep all their grades alive because that will help them? >> excellent.

so often especially as a single parent you have the difficulty of coming home tired. you are exhausted. you have to get dinner on the table and most parents say to their kids did you do your homework? and of course, yes, yes. that is easy. you have to say ok, bring me the math. you had some math assignment. you have to say did you have a paper to write? asked this week after week anything coming up soo e.u. are closely aware what they're supposed to do and you have to check it. i read the story from a teacher in a school in virginia and students had done such a poor job on a test. you did such a terrible job and somebody said which of us has a dad in the home? no one in the class had a dad in of a home. he asked one of his offense

students who came from a difficult background but had two good parents and what do you think? that boy said if their mothers tell them to do it and they don't find it that serious, they don't take it with a lot of concern, when their dad does he says my dad says you better get as, better do your homework. i don't want to think what might happen. the key was to me as i read this account. we assume they're telling us what is happening because they are dear kids and they would never tell us anything that wasn't accurate and we learn they're going to pull our legs and keep from doing that work and you have to do the homework. you have to be right there. you have to have that assignment. you can say i am sorry and check

it tomorrow. i am objecting it every night. you are never getting away with anything. it is exhausting and there's many a day i wanted to believe exactly what they said so i could just -- aspect of a kid's life in -- they will do well. parents aren't involved they may not. that is the really key point in successful education and doing well academically and if you are by yourself it is you and as i said in the book don't hesitate to call the teachers. if you get a little behind called a teacher. that close to the teacher and let the teacher knows she can call you. this is an open relationship because you have to make certain those kids are on top and check it before you get behind. any other questions? >> the rules you are

establishing with boys when you are younger. how did they change when you are a teenager? >> teenage kids are a whole different world and kids change dramatically. the sweetest? ever met when he was 13 and convinced a teenage angel shut up at night and you will be a teenager so cut all this nice guy stuff out because he was attitude for the next six years that he was a good kid. just had attitudes. what i found is this. you work them when they're three or four or six, you let them know then who is the boss. there is no question by the time they become teenagers they knew i was the boss. they had to. i was never going to get control of them if they didn't know that

already. they always have to know the rules of the house apply. that is the bottom line. they are going to challenge you. they're coming right after you because if you back down and say this time you can go where they could never go, they are coming back every time. they will never let up because the only takes a certain amount of time before you break down so don't break down because you are asking for trouble and you establish the rules. a couple rules i would establish. i learned when billy was 12, they told their kids they couldn't date until they were 16 and i learned something very important. if you know there are rules that will be added as they change, why do they care? they are not 14 or even thinking about dating. the oldest is 12. i told him when he was 12, by

the way there is a rule that you cannot date and to u.s. 16. i didn't have that rule the day before. never thought about it. this is really smart. let the know now so by the time they're 14 he assumed he couldn't take one on one. he had to do group dating. the best thing i ever did and he was happy to do group dating because that is what you do at a certain age. tommy was a one figuring out how to get on dates without letting me think he was on dates and always had his friends -- can you bring a friend? mom will think it is four of us. at least that is how they worked so i knew they were trying to work it out. that was one of the smartest things i learned. tell them in advance. years in advance. here is the rule. that takes care of it. you start thinking of letting

them know in advance. it will save you enormous anguish and then let them know. some of my rules apply to some kids and not others. every kid had to play sport every year and play a musical instrument. you pick it. after one year you can change sports or you can change a musical instrument but what you sign of you play the season, you play the year. my oldest two were excellent -- instruments, played different sports and enjoyed it. it was terrific. i energy kids were able to spend energy on the field. than my third son him along and i saw him play first grade soccer. he was terrible. he had no coordination whatsoever. it was humiliating. this isn't good. as he got older even in seventh grade he couldn't hit the basket with the ball much less make a

basket. he couldn't reach the basket. this is not i should be requiring to do a sport. i found myself in seventh and eighth grade writing notes to the school not feeling well, can't make it to jim. constantly covering him because he was the last chosen for everything. it was just making it tougher for him. we have to approach this differently so i could change my rule. he is very smart. he knew he played really bad piano that i would wear down and after two years of banging on that thing i said ok, you don't have to play music. you have to adjust to your kids. keep your mind open that everything doesn't apply to each one equally. when it comes to something like dating it does. you have daughters it does. to be open-minded the key to teenagers is they already know you are the parent and you are

not backing down and they can fight all they want and make as big as seen. this is the rule in this house, end of story. they pushed me and pushed me and we had some real tough days. that is -- the envelope kept getting pushed but i kept bringing them back. the most important thing is you can't make their choices for them but you can make certain they know what is important to you. what is really important. the two or three six rules use that do not break these rules and if you do this constantly and you constantly reinforce it and make it as positive as you can but let them know under no uncertain terms this is what means a great deal to you. this is what i value. you will instill in your children those same values. they will come back to them at different times in their lives if they give them up when they go to college. any other questions?

yes? i will go to you. i have four grandchildren. [talking over each other] >> you know, the question is about my grandchildren. do i dive in? i was visiting my son who has two boys. my son tommy was really wild and made so high energy he made billy look slow some times and billy was high energy. he was a tough little kid. just like an angry little boy. his purpose was to take over my house. he was working at that and he and i were very much -- i was on top of his activity to see what direction he was going. very much bull headed. he wanted his way and that was it. i am visiting him and he has his 2-year-old and a high chair and

says to him finish your dinner. done. and he says finish just like that. two more bites. he puts them on the spoon. bun. he is trying to say just one more. done. he wasn't going to have another bite. i hear my son tommy saying what made this kids so bull headed? i just started laughing. this is too good to believe. so wonderful to have these grandchildren and to see your children raising them. and having to deal with the same issues you dealt with many years ago and not to have to worry about that. you can spoil them all you want. grandchildren are the most wonderful thing in the world. i count the days until my oldest brings back the oldest two to the east coast. >> you have children chapter? >> i certainly do. we always went on vacation as a family.

i had no money, will literally no money. vacation. i must go on vacation. billy was 5 at the time and tommy was free -- 3. i found yosemite was $55 for a week to park their so we could go camping. i am not a camper bed kept thinking we should go camping. i have to introduce these things boys do. we went to yosemite and i was sleeping in my station wagon every night and thinking used to be the treasurer of the united states and i am now sleeping with my son next to me for a week in a station wagon. what kind of vacation is this? those boys are already up and out of their tent and in the dirt and playing and having the time of their life and jump on the bus and go to mcdonald's and have breakfast and i just watched and it was a wonderful

week's vacation with those kids so from then on this is going to happen every year and the next year i was in a not so waterproof cabin. two years later i abraded to winterize a cap and at lake tahoe but i always spend time together and i tell you why. one of my favorite traditions is as a single mom you are involved in your work because you're throwing yourself in it. this 9-5 or 9-7 or whatever you do and you have to keep going and keep the house going and trying to spend good time with your kids. we were on vacation. you throw away the cellphone and spend the week with the kids and whatever environment sometimes we stayed overnight on the way to top 0 in a motel because high energy children, they are going

to the swimming pool. this they add, we need a week's family vacation. i want to have that time as a family to grow closer. because we're so busy and obviously number one in my life was to spend time with my kids but you are so busy when you get home and do laundry and you have to get ready for the next day and whatever it is you're doing homework and doing these other things and if you don't make it a regular routine habits you won't see the kids. they will be in the next room when you are cleaning the house and gathering things.

if you make time together a tradition, just a habit until dinner, evidences overwhelming the difference of having dinner with one parent every 5 to 7 nights a week changes the likelihood of them doing well. there are books out and i quote them that that is so critically important because it says you are part of something bigger. you have to live by the rules of this family. you belong to some family. there are expectations for each member of the family. about the most boring thing i ever did. they would talk about sports figures and games and nintendo had no clue what they were talking about and i think oh my gosh, anything happen

interesting at school? talking to each other. they never talked to me. i had to come up with ideas how to get them to involve me in this exercise. a history test thursday. how did that go today? i became very specific, half the time you get information and i start playing games and bring stories to the dinner table. i cut out articles of people that they like. any kind of story that told a lesson and throw it on the table. did you hear about so and so and get the dialogue going? i did everything i could to have a dialogue. i was present in an important part of this cable. it was work. when my oldest married i was the happiest person in the world

because i sit next to my daughter-in-law and we chat up a storm. i have a friend at the table. any other questions? yes? >> the rules that you have. were these rules you drew from your own family experience with your parents and siblings? i can tell me they were rules you needed to have as you went along. >> i knew i had this great childhood in my mind. i tried to figure out when i became single what it was that made it that way. why did i feel so secure? i would walk in my home and i knew i belonged there. 11 people minimum and 13 with friends. i have a designated seats so --

it was my seat. i sat there when the rest were empty because people were leaving. it was inside the home by my parents. i had to create a sense of security in my home so my kids loved their home. how do i do that? that is what i like about it. how do you create home my kids will love? hy made their friends feel -- i love them more than your parents. hit the refrigerator in high school. and they offer anything and -- they come in.

hands i want them to feel content and happy and they would come, and i found i loved them. i would look at my dad and what do i learn from that? what is happening in my home? how to work this? expectations i learned on my own? i had my mom's explanations. i am going to fail so badly. she with a full time at home mom so lush and expect the same so i dropped them. that had many more rules and he enforced them. i could have all these battles. that is what i learned the. pick your battles. just pick them. just pick them.

i learned many of them when i was raising my kids and others, influenced by my parents and when you become a mom or dad the training begins again. you can read all the books you wanted doesn't apply to you have your kid. i found myself calling my mom. and these little thing is no longer her bother you. those little things, that is one of the reasons for the book, someone might learn from me. they don't have to wait till the kid f-16 and say how white control the situation? they might control the lesson or two and say my child is only 12 and i got an idea. let's start now and things will be easier and as a result of lot more fun. thank you all very much. i sure appreciate you coming out

today and loved talking about my book. [applause] >> for more information visit "bay and her boys"book.com. >> here's a look at the ten best-selling nonfiction book according to publishers weekly. as of may 20 fourth, first on the list is robert caro's passage of power about lyndon johnson. you can watch those programs online at booktv.org. second is talk show host steven colbert's children's book for adults, third is an quinlan at lot of candles, plenty of cake. she is on in depth on june 3rd

where she takes your phone calls, e-mails and tweets. you can send yours to booktv@c-span.org. reality television producer andy:--cph andy:--cphen's pop culture's third. eileen mccan present theories on howhen's pop culture's third. eileen mccan present theories on how america ships too many jobs to our overseas allies and enemies. suzanne somers talk about solutions for aging and skin deterioration in bombshell. seventh is pioneer -- read drummond which contains the author's collection of recipes, photography and stories that reflect white america's countryside. agusta burroughs challenges self-help books with this is how, proven aid in overcoming shyness the dismal molestation, grief, disease, luxury, decrepitude and more for yen and old alike. secretary of state madeleine

albright is ninth with her memoir proud winter. killing lincoln by bill o'reilly. >> many of you were not born in 1973 when watergate took place but richard nixon won in one of the biggest landslides in the history of the united states which meant most americans who voted in that election voted for him. yet when laws were violated, the american people including the overwhelming majority who had supported richard nixon said you have to investigate and have a special prosecutor. the laws have to be enforced no matter what. in the end, when the house judiciary committee acted on a bipartisan basis, voting the

impeachment of richard nixon, the country overwhelmingly supported that verdict. what did that tell us? more important than any political party and more important than any president of the united states and more important than any single person and more important than any ideology was the bedrock principle of the rule of law and preservation of the constitution. americans united on that theme regardless of how they voted year-and-a-half before that. we are not talking in ancient history. people put behind them their own partisan views and said what is good for the country and the rule of law and one standard of law was critical. so i said that is an important principle and i believed in it too. and then we got the bush years.

the accountability principal pretty much worked. and won't say they were perfect. hardly. government doesn't work in a perfect world and it itself is rarely perfect. things change. i and my co-author wrote about impeachment. is a niche area of expertise in this country that ten of us had the experience of dealing with the terms of the constitution and the impeachment proceeding that worked. the nixon impeachment proceeding. we wrote a book and we saw that there was no accountability through the impeachment process. so we said let's look at what else can be done because we knew the framers of the constitution understood and is clear in debate that once the president completes office, he and some day she can be prosecuted.

there was nothing in the framers debate that said you have been president, you get a forever free from jail card. nonsense. the framers understood presidents could do bad things. they were human. they created checks and balances and the president could do bad things and congress could do bad things. they were not idealistic about people. they were very practical and pragmatic. so we said let's do this book about what kind of accountability can exist and to our surprise we began to look at what the criminal statutes were. what we saw was not just the possibility of accountability but that the bush team was excruciating least sensitive