that seems contraond prusalrs ngut prach i appeared on which males were arguing about the jurisdiction. toeatecn.ion iseran i hiafo il u, and hopefully she's back from the soccer game to hear the answer to this. been a big fan of yours ever since i heardoupeng laye. wh moue show sunday with a 12 noon soccer game. i'll catch a repeat. i feel i have a book in me,ut

i kab it, i do fthanrt hanyugioso a proces i can follow to get started or to make it feel less overwhelming? i'm currently employed full timetug 5rrth o dr,yeld a enhe5--o g:we fst of all, to make it feel less overwhelming, don't think of it as a book. ..

>> guest: i always take in wise-size bits. re w aoo y do f o mp. coomome but nothing gets written until you actually write it down. but what you've got to remember is that what you're writing today y no be whasin okarr n to s, pdit yw, aus words. here's the thing, if you do a thousand words a day for 85 [iib] yohave 85,00rd , ant' pen erlleeri d rin of course there will be, but you just have to make yourself do it. and be if you can get a fst sentence down on p,cq

lehesten ale iditwi,o will print it anyhow. you know, that idea tat, you know, you're just noodling around here. this is n set in stone. no ad u' in oinck kiheong br. osel sfcales, plenty of cake," 182 pages. how many words is that? >> guest: you know, i'm noture how many words it is. i thought it was a much ler ok gh th bseowse srg st at tk cad omce ifi b ai think, oh, this one's so long. and then meone in my publisher'office sets it in a norm siztonit-font a i a g lh,a, ar 2 p. >>t:yo offhand how many words are on the page --

>> guest: i don't. if i had to gue, i'd say that book is about0-00ds. ur arael5, 12 130? wer >> host: so bleak house would be -- >> guest: however long it is, it's not too long. >> host: just an hour leftith nandth ano 'sitbirer si hhoear. >> guest: when i realized my kids could read, it was one of the most exciting moments of my life. causit eleme p o e gs' st toabo kh t e gs ourwe know when we talk about books, we are not always talking about books. sometimes we're talking about ourselves undercover. inibomfo. annib, anen me qar

,m, tt each had very discertain blriting voices which, of course, is the key to being a ccessful writer, itas amazing. dl rortheay hib erimer statchtind , ld n. and i said, what novel? because he'd done the whole thg without ever telling anen athe dgt. anentooa, i a mioti mexd anasor afi it jus it's just an incredible moment when your kids can do something that you know is challenging and can do it really well.

and we are back live at our new york studio with author anna quindlen. nine nonfiction oks,si ob onnehi t ue ,ess, s eas o. we have about an hour left with

our guest. put e phone numbers up on the screen in case you would likeo call thisandta wh quen cutlnot ic -otfin. t. yove api anything about it? >> guest: no, it's still kind of mushy in that way. i'm about 70 or 80 pages in, and exy igotoben ryw ,m,nu'wh bot le he >> host: um, doou when you are writing a book, do you, do you change it? ll itha tgh plhainr hghe gst: tual, you lear the plot as the characters develop. what usually happens with me and from reading the memoirs of ot i k eiters know wie

ant noto much keeping that dramatic string taut rough the middle, but -- which is, in fact,nis--s at hnsho gm , kn thhe arerur fft rtes. with a novel there are even more than that. so it's, it's those choices you make along the way that you don't tipateil're i too tyo h t- f bay yard pigeon in oregon, had great hopes that the success of the feminist movements would make society and epecially the workacreum t akirntt ad ntrenwe n. , yindot happen. instead, women seem to have been

forced into the same mold as men with ever-longer hours, adoption coue engtm mindfetsrk ur tgh >>stere's that from? >> host: klamath falls, oregon. >> guest: he and i are going to have coffee together becau he'sabteigbo oftyieinid wng "the fenine mystique" which began some of this, in a relatively short period of te we've changed so much. hat enightt.t mes hate ar dct men so t yon won asife amother alone. and then you go to an antithesis, and that's woman doesn't care about being a wife, anwe t wd.nouteing d tu cupit

of oe rye good and me ohe new ways are really terrific. let's try to put them together. but given the fact that it's been a ti s pd im n oor stsiweta d waat hot oo te trke found safest and most proctive to at some level mimic thr male coeagues. edvipait lethro me swe d is ask for paternity leave, and i said, why not? i mean, i was doing what i thought was the obvious thing tht thio nome the guys around me in d llaiim aitav a ly thgh sd ha. >> host: did you have to rescind the offer? >> guest: somebody else d to rescind the offer.

it wasn't policy a that point. at that point in time. nkt te s thneon of peoplwho e now in their 20s and early 30s. they've own up in a completely different rld, they em toe emoerh anththeaal wahingheir parents for a better work/family balance. what that mean is that i hear deir net ho a kthnge , now ha 80-hour weeks, and that's not including the time at home when you're on your iphone or your computer. if what they're say ous wewet ock t wo a0-eknk

ates lotf sense. so i'm hoping, bayard, stay with me here, i'm hoping that when leshosns m esunopn pe, ts b erincthe w ight oso miein a ce enronmt? >> guest: um, sometimes i do. when a big story baks, i reallyiss no bein a i in ag d b ic a ce we a cho tun me said to me, would you like to go our newsroom? and i said, would i! and so i popd i eeme neomexngfd t tetor hohave wn offi. >>ost: little less than an hour left in our "in depth" program, and the next callcomes

eu, an iras al t yorak it rlyn h tak with you. i'm originally from the newly-independent country of south sudan, africa. myom ia aicin 95af dd r. fiboddinom o eueu cu a abortion, feminism. and molestation and rape that giwhven r.bfest se me. [inaible unlsdme a scgeomspngut icin cni

tities. [inaudible] you're considered corrupted woman, and you'resed ry b nug. n medrve il. i feel very strongly about women issues and addressing them, but sometimes i question myself if i am strong enough to handle the criticism and consequences that whicouu me mericnder s or r it w fom ofpeis limed and ru the risk of being unmarri, run the risk of rape, discommunication and hatred? thankou. g: k schd wosaha dte t se le fight and issues that need to be taken care of, american wen need to remind themselves ery day that the don't fferh nyhe plem,t

"tewk s"e or ers p out young woman in afghanistan who was speaking out about being raped, and yet her soinn'neuts, wju htolr. atorli ily yehs if the government won't do so. so in countries around the world deh sinmeimen who are fin omtiec o b im tel and, you know, the one thing i would say to you about being afraid, um, about putting the book out there and about needi the streth wch is nsabs erf meat wluan isriheld inoelin ts n one else cares about this, nobody's going to respond

to this column, i am alone on this. and enoupublish t mnda wodpo yopea,han anou d tr m k f ngic those of us who sometimes feel voiceless. dindhihauresponse ge mehe yo wd atrewa community out there that would say the same. >> host: another e-mail from janvegonthis from lda i toea li, o freshly-broken heart to the truth that reading like -- reading the likes of sherwin wofuokdold hopeedn ar thstfe.cr

dey w o we allowed me to internaliza person's loss and keep them alive in my everyday life. aus yot,e orn tland is one of untaheldlus >>ste mnt s inou a mnat ad fquently cio me. it was a cumn that i wrote after my sister-in-law died about the nature of grief. ned'ooho h, ifrom erwi cn. s tav pde la pplorhich i'm deeply grateful. and i do have to say, you know, i said earlier, you know, i hate to wri, it drives me crazy, al i t oat wg . abwrg hau agsoatxa,f eare numberf times in this new bok where through

words i invoke my mother. en wha sloniv . toabo hae e aowh o. >> host: '94, that's 16 years ago. somebody still remembers do you get that from time to time? leoninny g s thlif t b mentioit. >> host: do you enjoy book tours? >> guest: you know, i moan and drone aut them, wall say t lyseboinn anouw,ve eris longer pleasurae as it once was. and sleeping in hotel rooms can get old when you want to be at home. t seei ad y k, thtundhe s

er toasst ntc. att i ry,ea good. >> host: longtime fan e-mails in: i'm very interested in what her take is on therri nc hhednwh em bony to the christian ideals espoused by these leaders. >> guest: totally contrary. i mean, if you're going to pretend to follow the message of theeweenhe w rre yois t , oners ulve uo love your neighboras yourself, and if you have two coats, you give one to the man who has none. and i really feel that the ag t new ttais atlleoe lal eayleto bve at k onstutis including government have a moral imperative to take care of the who can'take care of

themse. and i amsthein gohran slee kery'sth o. an read christianity a call to community. and i just don't, i woun't lod mer i i ou prhe w ed h. yno iulel a iz if i discounted elderly citizens who didn't have enough to get by. so, u i'meally proud to be a be thventfm, t r ze sl security tcivil rights. but it is tied to my faith, and i don't understand,, on eyt ihe n stt sstat

anriesd view that everybody needs to take care of themselves is front and center. >> host:t bo sin a aucealmaf uedes. u know, sometimes i'm asked to speak at all-female -- frequently i'm asked to speak at all-female organizations. itcangem0om buwo a roio nr he le really, really love my work enough to come out to a book signing, for example, are female. and then every time say that, ra hannd sutinhe owd meo ououin' >>t:lln d, adiou qioor anna quindlen. phil phillip, you still with us? anmsme easally from the mes

pe.ied o nstance, if alexander hamilton were alive today, he'd just say the congress, just tell ederal rve a t an coaster would say, look, politicians know how to spend money, but they don' ow ay s. a0-ov t'slf minor >> host: thank you, phillip. and we will move on to becky in ra,a.r rs eded , becky.

becky, you with us? we're having just little trouble, if we could tell washington we're having a little trouble with becky. isais co ti a y ct ift or. ucre cleof i'a conservative who read the a section and the op-ed daily for years until recently. i came to feel that the times is thra j iiiae breof >>st, n'reth him about thnews columns. i think that no one should be surprised that the editorial page of "the new yorkis, cautfo n reading "the new york times," it calls out for balancing "the new york tis" th other newspapers, ascad onyivue

, exe,n a given night i will watch rachel maddow who i think is one of the smartest peoe on tv, and then we will switch to foxews beuse 's rllpo t wevne yi oume pcuss oosd 'r a newspaper reporter. you're putting a sty together, very short noticeith the best sours yoha mes geca ion mes ses asi u,u'otfitl someeophll talk to you are not the people who provide the most balanced view. sometimes you just didn'write a story well as yocoul in,hitoo er rbed t neprter 24 hours. but e truth of the matter is

with the web now reporters work much more like wir service rerters in that theye chgingpng adi anen'rint, evly'rino mistakes. i will put "the new york times"' correction column against the backstopping that any stitutio ime ds. iwnprt. cayoon s ol t oou kmen ornsing, oh, and by the way, we sort of messed up with that product. it didn't turn out to work ver well. but the times doeshat ery y. ce atss t u t y t balance it with two or three other ings. >> host: becky, cedar rads, iowa. go ahead, you're on tir >>lei. i adurks

t. ale , ae o finished "lots of candl and plenty of cake." i really enjoyed it, but my question is, do youhave any thrfpedthe rfwo benheor lkanheme a yt. d t share one or two of your faults? >> guest: well, there is a whole chapter in tre about the fa that iad a problemwith pr l.koo aur] d d k tifoud itsponey at s is mebo who's good at some thin and not so good at others. and i guess the virtue would be ateey eth gst mod a h ylsveha wenogoinosk you to it, don't worry abt that. >> guest: you know, this entire

tour i' worn almost nothing butrsee dn ma p ve, i guifaseg h dnyas you to? >> guest: no. [laughter] >> host: okay. next call comes from 'em mets rg, iowa. i'eama manbooks in myife ever since i learned in school that i was a much faster rear than most of my classmates. irriteou leswh than pet u dld egh mher,ut m a liberal christian who spent my morning in church. i'm about ready to po about the t whaveo men amalheenol aio

d laata in and said these poor guys that have to raise children that they didn't want, why didn't you say to himget a vsecty ou whanurd u' t ninteg t rv iwod - osllight, thank you. all right. we'll just leave it there. [laughter] >> guest: or, not even a vasectomy,ow about a cnd beseon tw d m en o c-span. [laughter] >> host: probablnot. but i did want to ask you, we are here in new york. diffen ts.about a lot of th pble he exorcois twe vealab 9d bo cd heut i as a new yorker, what did that mean t you, and does can it mean anything now nearly 11

years -- >> guest: ohefely mean somein afus wo't mr picture id before i went in an office building. or i would be walking down the street, and a plane would come in realllow,nd w so p. whr s ul ths ran osveosfin new york and in washington, too, because of the pentagon that i don't think the rest of the couny coletely sares us'sotttn thytrihe 's dncngor , en i'm down by the river to suddenly see a building in that spot becauirst i got ha tigtheyto ieenei anw e ng gse

to having a new, um, a new building there. but, i mean, i ju think it gave us such a profodenof eritm, ttwe c tnwe o dec esa t l gth. it's not that it's gone, it's just that it's more offed. -- loyilaermata at tasfyone b pe wt'not true anywhere else on earth. >> host: a little less than a half hour left with our guest is month on "de" a kainlis d. cosa y.onjth ve qck questions for you. when i was in high school, i was trying to read "gone with the li wenlyma o was jus ielt

rto 'tke . dmy dmr wa id yoow you don't have to finish it. and that was a whole new concept to me. no one had ever told me that i tois. start a book ande borind a yoerd books that e just for fun? i call them the readers for the brain? no nutritional contenut the topu d tagon y ar uei tllse uso kh he kind of book that i would buyn paperback, take on a plane, and if the flight was long enough because i am kind of afast adi mitavin seocin f ohht a yonosey lot of

them were mysteries, but the truth of t matter now is there's so many excellent writers writing stery novels, me owhomreo nis mry li caow a pe james. i mean, they're terrific novelists even though there are mysteries contained in them. bee rsiilotof myseryno tifeer io pup o leck id udisties then. and for years i had to finish a book, no matter how much i tosooisoon'ti very rkfoha tni i k asba oun y, aut the same timwhen i suddenly stopped caring what anyone thout about me, arod age 50, that i was in conrsatnith cstriwhaid

n'dend w ye yoeadoli i y t wpean ntacndthwi h th, anventually i decided that it was, in fact, acceptable for me sometimes to not finish a book. but i still find it really hard to doh osigck wrf okatlde olmmoea b at oothisnna quindlen's list. g: he wrfwh h it to a cross-section of 500

distinguished writers and asked them their favorite, tlist their favoriaton oneli anyseu gus tat.,ou if you we talking about contemporary writers, of course. so many people love, as i do, 19th century writers. bat,-m sl this ismdy ea ,nnouarch cosho s from my sister and i as you did a few minutes ago. i'm also an east coast irish anr.d wifned inatho bee oheesve se encyclical on marriage and partly because i just didn't believe that stuff anymore. i do miss the social comni pridedy eishu tinnre t

th a.obee >>stllco't et mlfanan you for the grammar correction. sometimes when you're talking off the p of your head, cooler heads need to prevail from elseer tount t t uat g r hind h,fla.n lillian? one more chance for lillian. hellaller: here i . osleas gea s,reliinam al it y , 8ar dimao' loved anna quindlen for years, and i'm delighted to be able to tell her so but i also feelhat opn noatou nt ty pa yav a responsibility to d something which is anctive voice to stop

e le lilutsnd , tviplo in lies. actual lies about the conditions of abortion, the conditions mehoein op uand wneo ecsoth we all feel that we are listening to truths. and the important thing as r as imonedha a i't fnii'ot a sculinist, i'm a humanist. and i feel that we're dealing with human issue thhe ehu anoople beginto ec is der

ye, eme real human beings. but i'd like you to take on -- >> hos thank y. lillian, we'll leave it ere. nain. ueweum hs re naic ots ngsof bes of demagoguery whether it's politica demagoguery or, um, pundit demagoguery. one thereathib hargatatoct pren de,d t df it they willact check various of the contentions that have beenade by the candidates. but i do agree that there is unhs aditi hefild ash rin w e a so that we can recognize the big lies. i mean, in aemocracy reading is the single most important t

e. 's irt ng userdh'rin to dcaof the internet, we do have a historic opportunity tonform ourselves about wh's really going on in the world g: ge eotwrt heale was mary ann evans, but -- when you think of the fact that jane austen publdri aju" de ad y n svebeut t, pe it today as though it's as vivid and as contemporary as when jane wrote 2 se hi . 'sssh dl mh"is m ways,

almost the perfect novel. the ore thinabout george elli is she was a great intellectual and a great writer who consistently fought agast th ct tepl hex dveay ftta bee, a sinthk, um, she was not an attractive woman. even the most, um, rey-ag ra o anisme se in some sense it was both insulting to her and liberating because there was the sense that she was going to have to find some other way. she g s t ed ilie,, , wa astibed omng xbjec um, in that way. and i always felt when i was a little girl that i was somebody wh st of had g-u f

50ar, d f o roprs d of rns w vebesoed by the signs of physical aging as some of my contemporarie is because i felt like i finally grew int of face as opposeogi o osouotf le tyakou g: o. v. >> host: some filler visits? >> guest: it's funny. everybody seems to think that this is so significant, and i realize it's because everybody lies about ery a me iwiit h evad ath done, i would probably do x, y and z, and i'm looking at her going, oh, m god, who are we kidding here? [laughter] d us tht w g ri ahaut fanuthe is doprmf ag, d to take note of the fact

that about ten years ago i had these two big lines in between thout okik winnd in pres dd th . en ioato m lyrmog sid caxt. d so she did, and i did. >> host: next call for anna quindlen, about ten minutes left in our progr, comes from dgintay h. asu on sehe >>leooten. 'slee al y i k ysf as recovering cathic who, whose childhood was really steeped inha anat t o g ed i2ten - ud] d ry quite a terrible form of abuse in that it took decades for me to ho ly bfe bdomenxa

. w, sl kul ibsce, at it goes back and it's rooted in the old testament. blrior ho hn a me ruylt run by authoritarian, dictatorial males. and i think that's still deeply ingrained who we are ow in w,as iwornt r ar ano sosspha, tichg dsnd drug dealers all over the country. yet when i came to, in many of my experiences, when it cameo scinop whhae uswoan creha hast.c hn e nol s t. i don't think there's a real focus on it today.

i think it's an absolute disgrace that women don't feel safe in this country and that arftesheeyingb h aig tas gst: well, i actually would argue that things are better for women, um, in that area. i have a good friend whowas a whhesttd ith si, yul b apsiole a thirdarty witness. i assume ideally a priest or a police officer or something. d sonk i thk e i ,, ise osiowowh a g ad,ens who are being abused although nowhere near enough for the kids. umoute twould agree withyou, amta.

ati atas ed ,as eteby a very, um, progressive order of nuns, the sisters of the holy child. and what that meant is tt i anthfo mrsat dehffce m if i'd had to be ruled entirely by leviticus, i wouldn't have h nctbothl. anqueniso h he sin anreedcan oh demos, the second sex, and the power broker by rober

ro. john demoshenem ai ueiferinha thefuors"ch"nd bl y, eer isrnd reflects about three years' worth of reporting in a mumbai slumhich is just th peoondgo f artyseu billard-type signs. it is the most astonishing nonfiction novel sin truman capote wrote"in ldoo wh obo t i wht leamt,nd i tng about it because it's really an astonishing piece of work. beautifully, beautifully written, and theeporting is reg cngedy life.ed.

i closed my independent store last august, a victim of the economy, e-books and evil amon lof re ienand st at y it- e ci e usedo go on tour tt were anchored by an independent bookstore where one would appear andogo tr tehi boorav a ie you know, people will say why do you guys always go to denver? well, most of us go to denver anetth oheatteder webee inyt ok independent bookstores are invaluable, and one of the things that i'm very excite bed about is that -excited about

neta ondeenl anpnt dgqull well. so i'm hoping, um, that we cannot only close somendies, t riree upal e eepnt st hse vealbrs edp the book tours at all? >> guest: well, libraries and indies always had in common th fact that they woulday, here, imehmb o lar kiinou l heidi? trylittle women." i mean, they really shaped my reading behavior. thilphfr lryoces there are or au etsas inkssil a

follow crumb for literate people in communities o want to know what to read, and we've got to epem ae. >>t:yr, el, shysur group of women met in a class 20 years ago and have continued to meet weekly around a table as if in a seminar. veadnu o t msin'serst eenvel ctm arn o 50s to 80s, what do you think of reading groups in general? >> guest: oh, they'rthe best. i mean, every time someone says ane, sth,le'td cawhut fft esret t ienok cs esd. ictenro "one true thing got in draft about a moer and daughter during the final monthsf the mother's life, my editor said to me, we ed themteinin

thakw re w hedho t arn to with each other more vivid. so i created something called the golden girl' cook and book ubhere momas tine htow c thheredio bee,co, al ou s,we're never really talking about books. we're talking about ourselves. and that's why book clubs are so great because the men around that table are ting int ttey cut h bnkea, go ahead, mary. we've got a few minutes left. >> caller: um, hi, anna. bun s r harealo ge vens hkeewse i dt. d owha live the

because i saw you speak at, i think our local bookstore and also a a library. so, um, i see from the show that you're livgnerky. g: ef a,m, 13 years ago. our three children were all already going to school in new york city, so i w sep omob tnhn y d ger oc sreregl nhn. and deep down inside i've felt like a new yorker everince t he cgehe s coe.ha sd d 'st id. >> host: and this is an e-mail from peggy sage in joplin. here in joplin we can identif it iatour cntou/ uso ndor

w bfe yo wrings, i lost my mother, too, at age 19. your writing on grief h helped me. how reading chand my life felt sts wer g.ld. th do people relate to you in that way? >> guest: yes, constantly. i mean, people will come up to me and say, , my boys are the reerdi t ybo "e th0s yo t aths ly sense of people will say to me sometimes you've been writing my life. and what i say to tm is,ight prinomonven stn'ow ywe isyommding list? >> guest: whatm i currently reading?

i'm just finishing "bring up the di try heoi d tsrll knlo of the tudors, it's an area i'm interested in. she does a masterful job of ney.llin arthatof thum pbl g ea n ced af wonders. it has been getting a lot of attention. and i haven't readobro cenlve id e wiedi i me t summer. >> host: and barbo in dallas, you are probably our last caller. just a few minut left, go ahead. >>aller: good moing, thank u. , ntte yoav adumofr bs. dm souc r

nor ts"nho di somewhat. i consider myself a conservative. i believe we should have safety nets for people, but i just want to tell you i n- bo loodk. it tpago b ae,o'v n eno e-book thing. i love books andhank you for all you've done. and you're on my bucket list, i'd love to have a dinn part with you there. mu: , k somuc d dnt ic i nstian rain ng c t h hethsh humor and respect as you just spoke to me? i mean, sometimes i wish amicanovenas heripe. >>t:yove g: ve s nstiri, ie ha. [laughter] you know, this is the ancestral home of liberals. in fact, among some of our friends i'm considered kind of a

dera. viotrt en un h ahallwa omllan t tis om dallas. french girl. wonderful, have you done dallas yet as on your tour. this city mayeek of big hr d ,t av gin ecr ttd. >>st, 'se. xa aatla f ok vet allas. the last time i was in texas, i was in austin. but texas is a bigook, book state. you can tell that anytime you nd tre. osomy edpi of bs,wh t thouldecnd g: thikng kehinemy kdo want to have lunch with? they're all equally fabulous. but as a writer if your favorite one is not the one youjust is tyo i "lof ces ptyof

h a qle nonfiction career to date, ling out loud, 1988. thinking out loud, 993. how ading chang my lfe, . 00rtuio a "lancl c o . imagined london in 2004 as well. "beingerfect" in 2005. good dog,tay -- which we d cautn20ihi pam thve sat " juubed b our guest for the last three hours, anna quindlen. thank you for doingooktv and "in dept" >>sts g. oddú

ak >> what was your first job at the new york times? >> i was at general assignment everante b.h is really all un t,'m t ers per s happy. you sit around and wait until somebody says, two bodies found in hse inue t igh -redsohi a s. us

u o t sway a ta notebook and allow. i remember when i interviewed at 24 ka tt.ork times when i was pdi wld wo asyt nel gn rte th was thought of as someone who was a dab hand with a turn of phrase but not necessarily a

anreed tifi dwsepr. inke ay tghhe pewher going to have to convince them i couldo that too. so i asked to go to city hall, and i covered the first two wh sch.f the kochmira d, ane iid t, yowhwarty m berger in the 's. it's the most fun because twice a week you do reporting on anything you want in new york city. ininf astive bri te ve. sot a wrf sint th beut metropolitan editor, a stint which was interrupted by not one, but two maternity leaves. and, um,hen i camba i bee ht thewi anqu athhe

moment when, um, the executive editor, abe rosenthal, dreamed up a column called "life in the ,"chthr l resikmeof a cin ma- me t andiat for three years until maria was born and then became an op-ed pag columnist for five years. cu?host: who was charlotte anit heimsh w etitond t e ed eor page. and, um, when i first came to the paper, i think that she was the highest ranking woman and th first womanhpi o th heh bon waereltki e ys wore these skirt suits and beautiful jewelry and so on and so forth. and i think that those of us who wereunan gh

rss mmi, re lleteou wet o where she was by being one of the boys. um, and there were two things that changed my mindbout that and changed my mind ain dgalut wn neoneras e tathe ia made deputy metropolitan editor which made me the highest ranking woman in the newsroom, anovun sao mked to take me out mbyo oha a p aheiv y dd i i whole different light. i realized that she understood at t i ws.out ho thingsk wh ild fndi anoghe historic

anthology of the feminist movement, "sisterhood is powerful," when i told robin that, robin told me at, in ofis t 0sro up t miss america pageant. they did not, in fact, burn their bras even though everyone thinks that they did, but they did disrupt the pageant. cotadner at s, ae jahen t bailed out, they discovered after the fact that it was, in fact, carefuy coifed carefully dressed, beautifullyadepare rtho hovh bl ne >>t: douve orlge >>st, n, let's get first principles off the table. i loved "the new york times" insanely. i lov"the new york times" the knth sfi on'

i ownd h dng lifetime pretty much always been the newspaper of record. now it's not only the country's coy'ea napspaper, it's the technk n ang mpme buhit' a mke hiha it's all there is to life. um, i started in new york city as aabloid reporter at "the new yorkpost" wheit was owned ama not ff wog tadismu n t'foiving. and the times is unforgiving because of what it is, because of who reads it. um, so i always thoughth meagi de a ut t t soliha mt oon mn,tdi stay too long.

they stay to the point that readers open the papein the morning and say, oh, ttgai nte a y,h, autf mn i edt noh to feel like i was pretty good at what i did, and then i left to be a novelist. d it, it'se aer h lu oft >>t: dlhong y as "newsweek" writing columns? >> guest: for nine years, but that column was only every other week. the times' op-edagsmo adknis tlua an haory or ekllnsp inom fu. d om wit was a very, very happy, um, schedule because one week i would be working on a colu which is wonderful because you carely on the pog beehe ne'se.

wog aovhis s challenging for me and opens up so many other, um, vistas in the terms of my inse gricn.rr meyork tye a ve wildly from thinking it's theest thing you've ever done to you've wasted your life. so to trade off between th and nie cumns was ry,l wee oksp issoy ep ram. three hours with one author and his or her body of work. this month author, novelist, column writer annauindn is r t there wegoto theon a ins. c iju n s u a tweet or an e-ml, booktv@cspan.org or a

tweet @booktv, temr anuin th ranfonok gig iv loud," 1988 that ca out. "thinking out loud" came out in this 199 3, "how reang ced a t e api londar 2nd mad on 2004. "being perfect" cameout in 2005. "good dog, stay," cameout in a nere hry i hem ila. w veve y it >>stvettixm woing on my seventh. >> host: and do you prefer writing nonfiction or fiction? >> guest: i find writing fiction at this int in my career more challenging. anf e w18rs alut eas29

d e ovoiat k rkdot at this point, um, quite the way novel writing does. >> host: in your memoir that just came out a couple weeks stm,ty friedan and female impersonators. how do you feel about feminism today? >> guest: ohgreat, it pe wsa he xtor o'etso wng fenest d ve kayov d er again, this is what happens to social movements when they're successful. they become abrbed by the culture. so thet that, asayin whsncai ma ar cry woha changed during my lifeti. because all she'd seen, she hadn quite internalized colin

alhtdozaene haddee ll con tkhepeioe ve o htanr women in the world hve changed so much. is everything fixed? absolutely not. do we still have a long way to go? absolu wyaer mply derwoin grgsn asr h what did you mean when you refer to gloria steinem's phrase, "female impersonors"? >> gst: i inenen in, wetlof sontonsoot t weped to be, about how we're supposed to fold our hands and be obedient and say certain things and not say otrs a l cin beea. ane b fo s

that she was that girl, and, of course, i quote meryl streep who is so smart and so outspoken in, bardll i01in of e r ed es eee was being that kind of pleasing, tractable girl in high school. it took, it took a braveou tht sot g t knxa w i i g her tes o, e prettyteep learning curve, and some of it consisted of behaving like women with whom we really h fbefeave very much in mmon m bry r,na dlri a wi mean by that. i mean that i got up every day and tried to be perfect in every possible way. if there was a test to be taken, i had stued for i hereaser b

tet . sdter ihe wapot etyh and i edited the newaper and cheered at pep rallies and emoted for the literary magazine gaanonadopthe back of a a my d t i c hsa w in hindsight i can say that i did them to be perfect in every possible way. >> guest: that about covers it. at's, that's sort of the nith oalmpna in gegerauou ro t. you outgrow that need to be that girl. i will never forget that aversion of that -- a version of sp iavmot hkeeen an i sg ein i looked out at some of those

women who were among the smartest and most capable of them in the country, and a number of them were weeng. thecze nth tweg us berdio ath ar afar nr t mothers said i wish somebody had said that to me when i was younger, you know women put a lot of pressure on themselves to do askto beer w a ereor in y to cinntnd think, no more. i'm done. >> host: do men face that same challenge? >> guest: i don't think so. i don't think they face it in the same way, althgh the pressure on men too aiyetoavow iandoemrime thinking twice about whether any guy i ever met had abs. mean, at werebs? but tk at

o hnegh i founom than it is for young men. and what it means is that we're always backstopping ourselves, you know? not ar en, pret ghtssl egh tomhe ghu ofyi ti thi that young men get in the same way. at the same time, in some ways that makes it harder when they get der,t so m cawhwefiy sanoo,, i'm enough, i'm more than enough, the criticism starts for the when theyet older. youknow, thheyaven beme mrsth er t'rss s te ic, psychologically perhaps in the work world.

and so i tinkn, i think tat aging lerat woin at ayndonnk t sfo. aninevte while we changed laws and institutions in the last 30 years, we sometimes did not change hearts and minds. and so both as a feminist and century is the liberation of men. >> guest: i still think that's ue. i still, mean, i hear allhe timeomenome tome taatty le, ohe esmuit cre thlthed tar but what i see over and over genre mains young women -- again remains young women who are wondil bgeg bceout how to

rr d alol ath e rer is in terms of an egalitarian domestic life. beuse one ofhe rsons why so many women takehemsves out thenior cin li t c seem ev sd, i think that they would feel differently. >> host: what's the 20% rule when it comes to women? >> guest: terrible. wse pct ichs pof t . da fme y fdth well, we have all of these young women going into the professions, going into medicine, going into law, going into jrnalism. when you get to the to s, le w bckt whben nd 2 for years. for as many as 20 years.

in government, in,m, nptsn honn y el aheshiv grwohaeydo e th l, that leadership lid seems not to budge. it seems very intractable. and what it means is that we ll dth lr. ans sinth rmmalil irndth a. sori lto congratulate themselves all the time on we're number one on all these things. we're just not. wen int al woi ver dory mna al ou w td h t tgse obesity and good health. but in terms of women leading, we really are not doing awhere near as well as we should be doin weul b dno egaraior

weulveen high places because that's a fairness principle. well, i believe in the fairness principle, but i als beve in pragtism re wanoslserer coss ry doing a bang-up job, i would say, well, you know, things are prett good. we need women in leadershi tis beus nbois ad el asheho d w iri a thccs wa leadership is not as good as it ought to be. >> host: anna quindlen, where'd you grow up? >> guest: i gr up outside of h wd ptsia in a bull uemyhes mo w do i -- my mother was a housewife. my mother was, like, every other mother i knew. al the women i knewrowg

waxeveecarno evhit plf business. >> host: so would you say that you grew up in a white world, upper middle cla? is. gst: ohmyosh,ye thirimveen ne w black. you know, i can't remember exactly, but i grew up in a white world, in if choli rln ohegl h d invid anadryayt ild. i sometimes say that was, you know, that's my cross to bear as a writer. all those wonderful stories that show up in memoirs abtideo th ry.hany >>t:enlo bookackeit describes you as

the laureate of everyday life. is that an upper middle class white fe? >>stdon'thth cabe qioou t eaevneit t yo k yresps maomuc ckndand can i go, yeah. that's the story i have to tell. now, as a columnt i would put my recd on aic ore fog ic agtyo, anveand i this country were always at the top of my agenda over and over again when i wrote columns. but when you're writing a book about aging andow yl ougiro y rs p oieiv t f bro h t ofe l's evle that people who are needier or who have grown up in much more difficult circumstances than i have might feel like i'm notpeango

. hneen w 1 ard,hoid ge g: otdi when i was 19. she had stage iv ovarian cancer which as it tends to doas diagd e i me ican tthe mo or life, um, i left college and came home and took care of her, and then afte she died i, um, was aorkiot anum w aetno ibiton they didn't like it much, i didn't like it much. um, and it mpletely changed me. i me, tre'ssoin a, abtch soeg in t yo hiho dth k is usually transformative.

second of all, there's something about watching someone hang on that makes you realizeow luonulin a fe ,nd tthwas something about, um, you know, being out of school and having to live this suburban life taking care myibl tt warrngnd sd ike conal a e ar a iby eha t ndifoaste years. >> host: anna wind eleven, we always ask our gues what their favorite books are, what books to t i ybo bt inha l," veoonerhau d i ae,t etc. and one of those books that you think everybody should read that's been importan to you is ourtney's compint." g: tn cai

d geffne. to beg with, i first encountered it when my mother got it from the book of the month club. she used to get a book from the ok of th month cev h. int , bhessa as mid um, something like this is a filthy book, or this is a dirty book. um, and in ros i keep a pebadxp imaty grabbed the book and read it myself, and one of the things that i think was 19tuheadbenhengr as adadks m geic fan. i got onto that pretty early.

and it was libering to me to know that you uld write in thisind o vcu ane ri, itwiry ng not slangy voice, but not formal voice, very conversational, very ip pantn --lippt in aces. dha tstteut cote epe, bls ryiti it taught me something about modern literature at one fell swoop that i really needed to kif t unou ung umand opened up to me an entirely different way of writing which was invaluable. and i still think, i mean, i gave it, igave itoyso ofur aav i

de s who is extremely well read and was very, very verbal, wa, when he was 13, i think it bee ihinketwh yoele,st a yanado t street without thinking about sex. and that that's this weird aberratial thing, and nobody else is doing the same when, in itldakiel lessr-d alone. it would make him feel as though he wasn't an aberration. and, in fact, that's exactly what it did, and eaed , inkot heth ahoho sply nr g "bdlue," where did the idea for that come from? >> guest: , "black and blue" actually started as mst of my

ls do,n at. , ofnru hect seheveki t sum tota of all the people that they love or that love them. so that if you ask a woman about rsel shel sa we, i hahrhin,igr kif intime relationships. and i thought what would it be like if you were a woman who was ripped of all that, ifyo a tt eon per tre d t ireedt e hiha w rly woea w o had to flee her former life. and i started to think about reasons why somne would do a f we rgeinheid e thse t m poler rent a

most possible for me was a woman who was ing beaten up by her husband andas trying to flee him, and that's how the domestic violence aspect ofla and [lteus. eronneryhe d. gh osowg you been married? >> guest: 34ears. >> host: and what kind of work does he do? guest: he's a trial lawyer. he does a loof crimal fewoansooe c w >>t:"lcaes enfcaoitat g: a ra >> host: 34 year later. >> guest: they are. you know, maybe it's because i read for so many years that the arou m,besghts in marriages, u usm,euy gst ow the ine . i mean, you know, i never wanted somee saying to me how can a sweater cost $700? that's a good question, but i

vented son in tme iwoeall thddor u >>t:nd in that book you write: if a marriage is to endure over time, it has to be because both peopleithin it haveac aowed miinepros thbof u irt >>st'se. an, i think -- i thought so much while i was writing that chapter about marriage and about my friends wh were lg rr d ng sor arn mia mean, it's like, oh, i don't know, it's like eating dessert first. sh eesrsmes esentrt ac t co se leif not good, at

least so dferent. d even cohiting, you know, i k wme wth useeda dnre pe f rr. eota -en cohabitation doesn't prepare you for the fact that that person is going to become your family. fr-cn lybeyrnly le reopou lator pnts oo yas by blood and youriblings, of course, and obviously your children. but your husband or your wife or your spouse is a ponre thot- e ehe bue bocoil atsoomc some level, being family. i mean, there'shis anecdote at the beginning of that chapter that i think says it all. istnttot

itit oenvi hatt bad cm at the clam's shack. actually, last month's guest on this program, tom brokaw, was with us too, but jeras t ly am arthfla aa he noou in my defense, we'd only been marrieabout five months, i guess. um, and then when david looked at me quizzically, i sa, o , hfe fur el c ink 'sh s ail rzehe we get married, that suddenly it's family, it's history, it is bigger than both of us. and that reqres ytote g cas,nte" tf yer y 2yo ntth doctor to have your so-called tubes tied.

>> guest: right. well, i had been taking care of my siblin at the worst possib tim inheilife a wopoleene. d me lus t er fh pecechobsl i ldavdr i was very, very negative about . um, i think there are people who have very good reasons for not ntinto ehald neachod do sstha i mt want to, um, talk to someone about why i felt so strongly about this,nd i didn't want to talk to anyone and i just let theims then wa iuddey cge h ylsnt ghatcts teg this. >> guest: that's h you can tell how old you are. jerry has these memories of their pediatrician with a cigarette stuck in the cner s h entohe arilshl don .

gh 'siny asf wlue. osouo ioer that you don't drink. >> guest: i do not drink. i haven't had anything to drink for 23 years. >> host: why? uest: um, think the s le ar d ha mcong aho enecedlcoli m sorry, i don't want everyone at aa to be mad ate, but i can't imagine circumstanc in which i'd ever have arink agn. i te to an th rsanheen i ne wd.deth i >>t: yinur jey? >> guest: i don't know if i'd say that exactly. um, you know, my agentaid, um, is ioor chaer shsom oryre oiho h much worse experiences. and there was the suggestion that maybe i might just want to lose that chapter.

buthe truth of the matter is i think e world leh ev oin lebo m no g i popped for a dwi or, you know, i fell down at parents' nht at school or nothing, nothing really terble t jstsag ns tybou ku ldhaadatrt asof wine -- glass of wine. and i think if you start to think that way, it's probably the better part valor given the fact that nobody real in, dn' pde ie t deat need, to stop. especially if you have little kids, and i did, so i did. >> host: is that the first time g: s.rri a is f t er itabit wr a aenoh

ybix oeven years in, and it turned out that i had a family member who really didn't abth.the idea ofe ing puic be imisu e,amilalwa win and so i killed the piece that i wrote at that time. but after all this time it turned out that, um, at there was on thi ise, intad oso e min g: i t. n d ept telling myself that if i fe like i needed to, i would. and i certainly think the first year after i pe din st aa t c sr k h ssody s drngut sha alho ehut why they drank in the first place. and then over time i spent aot of time thinking about, you know, why people dri ahy i

ha, n a s fh. di fthee o drngdi flike i was in any danger of changing that. i know that's kind of -- some people in aa wouldrgue that if di fee td g theaoull w'tan coc eg w kn war i put down a beer 23 years ago and said i'm never going to drink again. that's what i did. host: and finally, anna quin, rego ll e ndnehee be ste sui ins usofna in. and that was a good thingn her view. what is she referring to? >> guest: um, it's g tobe meg seas okwomae,ca ags l cleofrs wny nr columns

about the shortcomings of the catholic hierarchy over my time both at "the new york times" and th neleite." inut bsey 't nteak t. um, but i hung in there until -- i'm not -- i think it was out two and a half or threa antw t ur wits fleem ahe eyan the aftermath of the, um, of the sex abuse scandals which came tn ips dranen are erife, it b ee owp he o ay ratified their leadership. and i couldn't ratify it because i think it's really bankrupt. and i stopped ing to chur. noo, nhi otntan

meg ppou iss ur of pain for me, it's certainly a source of pain for some members of my family. thuyhe nstt only wh to sth message anymore that it is. >> host: anna quindlen i our guest this month on n depth." tharea code is207- ti zs,7302 f e ou mai and pacific tame zones. e-mail or send a tweet, twitter.com/booktv. and we're going to begin with a call frgradkein cr: hte. anorsp as >>t:l,nks for holding.

you're on with anna quindlen. >> caller: um, anna, um, i raced me fromhurch -- t fro ssuce h f chheouto f [lte muwethyo >> caller: i might have missed this, but i must say i was attracted to your writing from your newspaper cumns and then omerurooup i le, hro, i ie ri ar hehtok is that correct? >> guest: yes, absolutely. that's my fourth novel. ra iemouch well,yir 1 d i in ou talk about aging, i mean, now that i'm old i'm really enjoying life, and in paris when i got so d h n d pard e.k

hare ueye >> caller: well, "rise and shine" my mom would always say that in the morning when we had to get up for breakfast. and i was ergri a bee ug the book for my sister, and be i read it in paris when i was so tired. >> host: allight, martha, thank you very much. annandlen. yorte av teterve o lenor rngyte gin the fact that in certain circles i'm relatively well know trhis abnd mr afa, catharrs fft tac of us,

mega and her sister bridget e quite different fm m sr sai. ouay ongey hao idg onai e no one ever puts us in books. and i said, well, now someone has. and my sister is actually a public schoohistory teache wo ioer k soth ent, e some autobiographical connection, and io know about sisters, but i wou say megan and bridgetre quite different h tca ts ander w itha fou g: wi day 's gten easier. but it hasn't. um, you know, wring is a process ofdgnt. du, umyme bn

lihiit htata of my books -- stack of my books in front of me in a bookstore getting ready to sign, and bo rea tap c, over, picksp dondksw ick t oar mge yourenot wanted than that moment. and i think that, you know, you're always sitting there at thde hnd foit rfheno rd characters, it all seemed to fall into place. and now here iam in front of a blank comper scre, and placymw it'sot ingto , n,pp whreacy porting part of it. in fact, i know i have greater facility in the reporting part of it, but the writing part of

chngtill find irediy e-s ou:ft a cendhien, evt mr, es a b review -- if you've ever received one of those -- still sting? >> guest: i've ever received one of those? ca rmbhe "ecbo e"ut mait eioreears ago, i made the decision to stop reading reviews. um -- >> h 2 g: . whest . e inashe ft fhi i ad y hevi nd t iid ln anything from them. there were two very teacherly reviews over the years that i ons he ery grateful fore. linn to, sed ones t o cko c rd

gouderl and taught me something about how i do what i do in terms of her criticisms. and one wasfr yrr o li ill orwn d wkpr oua e"ch thpethk for me in ways that i hadn't quite appreciated. it's wonderful to read things about your own work tat hadn't occuedo you nkh, bue f t ou tho ew book. and, um, and i didn't like negative reviews. so i stopped reading them, and the de is myse nd anf e' sr. in snout cashin i rtar telling or positive, she will tell me about it. and that's, that's how it goes. h iatetulnot read of t

>>stne >>t:ther r - >>st, ye, janet's her real name. in fact, there was a lot of speculation on the blogosphere that it was a mysteryovelist, janee van slip,osork buomi'ev mans kainrlonrg. od afternoon, karen. >> caller: good afternoon. i just wanted to, first, thank anna quindlen. fico ildokinu t e pr,m i lyss t neworme and, um, you probably had some sort of influence in my decision to go into social policy work. so thank you very much. th o ew k,m,at y ccrs "nerk yohad a column to write for

"the new york times"es today about the presidential election what you'd write. guest: well, the second part at in ireg tiec isn e l t. ane on part requires you to really think about the world differently 27an cia saindsyo as u soin t st, heoin t ayu meg the paper, and it all becomes grist for this ever-churning mill of writing a column. so thetrutof the ers i waowr at tu presidential election because i haven't been saving that string nce 2009, since i left "newsweek." and i know thal my fer eagu hen

knaill iin waat have not done for a couple of yars. i have to tell you, that's kin toinalevhiha n kixhinnd reer i think it was in 2010 that one of my kids wandered in during the state of the union and said i' never anorstim myw s,ide ke s t w going on among the members of congress while the president was talking. so, um,'m not sure what i ulsay, but i wdre ve tgech mup d, i t o m ghrseha i n cia and i'm sure you cananticipate,

first of all, there are not enough female columsts at "th th sldat ltre d abou bori o mine. the two that there are are both fantastic writers, and, um, i'm just glad to ow the and t t osaiol au and au d t? >> guest: right. >> host: maureen dowd writes: the president who starte off with such dazzle now seems incapable of stimulating either the economy theoter uei k vo.aatuthe hatun f that after the convention we will -- at the convention and then afterwards we will once more see the ckerjkom inpahae a

owacamn lhitar cuomo -- although maybe he was quoting somebody else -- who said that you campaign in poetry, and you gorn in prose. there's no question tat t est beveg in bse u s - e,ubnsaybl or vice versa. and, um, i think it's been frustrating for those of us who hoped that there wld b me l ajng viai ,t i n fai? nemo ive saddam hussein is dead. and he thinks that should be good enough for the american people, and if i were waring apuano etefo say that i willi >>sts. e fenwick in new jersey who was running -- [laughter] who was runng, i think, in a

primary. that's the only time i vted for apuan >>t: lepi >>stah an i l m,or ceai tk d have votedfor olympia snowe. i think one of the sadde turns asd in smt the last year ngvisatno elathi a so broken in washington that she can no longer continue. that broke my heart. >> host: sandra in bor c-2it a qle h pe,eau. >> caller: hello, anna. i feel like i knoyou already. i'm just a tad older, maybe a iavny qiou.pr

as i said earlier, i feel as though i know you already. your sister may be a younger sister, definitely younger, anveeednche e t nea retiring. i was born in modesto, california, but i'm not very modest either. in any ce, i am areat liof ynd y wng al iras r ei eed to you was in grandmother who was without a aneghe yt biggest fan oysel tey. w wutreicep bee e tanio gious people in her family. there were jews which is, yeah, et.,ttec hercsnd

an gonnd o d c tccrs and the brights that crossed from ohio and iowa in covered bupenth ea o the war on the 25 moo,arnndu tetr es and pear trees and all those things and they built the first ferry on the san joaquiniver wch cr: jth f existing. my first emancipated pformance was as a bank, was at t ban ofris aoope mar wakie with

the wom in the vault. i reported it to the bank manager whose name was mr. brown, and we got hime eas qin ideoleh rb writing. at's the end of my story for now. thanks. >> host: all right, sand, thank you for calling in. >>uest: i'll tell you, ming i , y yor a ioitalun up'te hne th w. i think i'm going to think about making time in the vault for a long time. >> host: you write in "lots of wekeateomwh h"n orcaoshes ds rlized that they had been engaged in an essential dance of gender and status. thise was scorn attached to once it wae bale,

pl amoune oerles ss aerdsp b oeys >> guest: i think early days i'm ashamed to say that we did to -- do that. you know, there was -- i won't had he rotwe th s ways a sense that they weren't quite out there enough or a lot of them weren't. and as you get older and wiser and you ok bon l asshy ey mge cists,er idi pushback. and you' astonished by what all those housewiveses were able to do as well. mo ahig,llhemember looking atmy weshad fe cre nof e l-sgices at we have now.

so she did a whole heck of a lot during, um, theourse of any day. d i think one of the things at tokmae wo nogeisthe b althhew u in a world that was very different, um, than the one, um, the second wave feminis managed t make r woli m bueyldav d it's -- the idea of passing judgment on that now that i'm almost 60 seems to me not only iml.osro, butl >>t: ixi sy? >>stll. ey if o yno out there know mrs. smiley, call in and talk about how great she was. coy e envanext doortour be whed o

onha lra sae'alra.l e was one of the earliest flight attendants in the history of flight. she used to talk to me about how she was flight attendant on anhaou ss fl and atly hs age. um, and then she married walt smiley and settled down on smiley lane next door to , suss a v roilmaer n hneto f rm friendship with my then-4-year-old daughter. who when she was in sixth grade had to write um, anss t, rytie d ten e a s.le shju w cet nobee i think probably she got me started on that road

of thinking twice about how i thought of some of the wonho go bre ie h aheera y aiaegr e er sin ueye y >>t: wles.le was smoking? >> guest: yeah. mrs. smiley smokedup until the last day of her life. >> host: how old was she when e di? bu u b mrs. smiley would say to her, you know, if y're going to do that, you can go home. she was forever tossing maria tiofr, kshwoul jtet gh yo tavw.th bee,ow m sy was,s i said, a real pip, and maria is a pip in training. someday she will an excellent a she wiav o s ndowo fr msm.

pare or are you a helicopter parent? >> guest: i'd like to think i was not a helicopter parent. um, because i minly e si t co reg. yo kanip he nngty' ever done on their own, um, without someone telling them how to proceed,hen they don't learn how to do things on their betoowce. ththinsnk es iose yo ak re pure in your own accomplishments. you know, if you do, if you do an art ecdur mer prt yo g y prt,r is there part of you that's sing, i didn't rely do this? i think it's the latter. and one of the reasons i like t

think that our kids who are not maeowh arysy inheldee a certain point -- now, don't, i should not get the credit for this. it's not like i said i shldn't toch.i shouldn't make theall samooa u'otngrth yo noio tth ac ulget a certain look on my face, and maria would say, do not callnyone. i thought that one of the smartest things i ever saw about matoncgechnk e gch's ee >>t: o >>sts. thanav each parent a card, and it said how are you going to handle thatroblem? ca t clautgteeut b hi frsec

t roommate to the foodwe should read that sentence to them with the emphasis on the word "you." ofon mf oreally,alma mersirhe board at barn forward which is where i went to college -- i would hear constant stories about parent cling, you kn, she got a b onataperd 'sll pr. d thng no, plnghese a btt grade, and by e way, why are you reading the paper? so i would like to think i was not that part, and i would like to thk that's w m asyreu aap

>>uest: when you said you lovethe w yo t ha,ot insulting whatever, but the doubt which seems to me has beener fer whhellas rde m pn weto lea

not when she feels her well has run dry, but when she's still at e t of her game. that fout. yum h a haco inkyort nd t i am a feminist. i feel feminism completely changed my life and world for re mum w y ehe wwi "we" more than any writer out there. when i talk about my own point of vi and lif his, av haollel ain ke us wsll usthon t reasons people backedded off from it a little bit is because it's been co-oped by people who anharie ied toomenri

d omnghat' vageo b on their abilities and not based on their gender, but because we started with a system in which women weretidintom athaenntis in opportunities, venues, institutions for women, and i think that's all for the good. i mean, i thi abooc, 0ea ncht ofter t rar id m much happier with the society i live in today. >> host:ne hour gon in the three houronversatwi uin, e d , vedan er house in new york city to learn

about the writes process. here's a little bit of that o. way t'mor om3. stit w say they write for seven to eight hours a day with exaggering. you just can't. awut lo iter yooronoihe usedof inn ts to wear after, i would say, best case, about three hours. even wn youwrit ma ee gou oi unay a e is research, e-mails, making another cup of coffee, that sort of thing. fiction usuallyeith idtyemn,ar

- tseat the whole process picks up steam when i start to ground some of my thoughts i a character who will bome totis cctcohr i kri rmelodf only because it leaves a piece of yourself behind. let's say you are blogging all through your 20s, and almostno ro ,ut20 chend n sm -- show them what you wrote, and they'lunderstand things about you they wouldn't have hee. wrg,te ,mf tme i pce moit hatxperience of loving someone, of losing them, of opening adrawer and finding a

card they've signed or a letter ey w t,ll sohihe mri, t er [inaudible] ukni rtst um, ke inwaodum, tsut before she publishes. in other words, y spent a fair amount of time at the computer ckpiouf. en wng to lysty,ndn itabt tsaof urin tin how will this feel in ten years? how unequivocal do iant to be aboucertain tngs? ceinall bee t, don't really

have any regrets about anything i've written. >> any advice f writers? eaanonit f i t w ss, e't cng at l'sev cg here. i never see her. occasionally, there's fleeting aganheitouard t she'son lay is othng t opoeme all the time no book gets written by thinking about it. at certain point, you he toof peinhaf u'ng t wte well, it must be because you wake up in the morning, and you heart

sings. my heartoesn'ting bause to y gt' o pong reo inh, hwe if you waitor that moment to come before you sit down, you won't do i ♪ ♪

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>> host: we're live back in studio, and this is "in depth," th .two houef yve tea ra te, 202-737-0002 #. we'll put uphe e-mail and twitter address. na qle iouk, in oou sou t one way about abortion anymore, and if i don't think it serves for the just cause that many of us do. for years,beedan t thosol nond movehefr tod

choose abortion because a egnancy is inconvenient right now? legally, i do have the right. legally, iant always to have that rig. ihera oxein deos umceat s wr. g: yeah. the international issue, that ones that seems to be going nowhere in terms of public wh tobatcoswn s w waes th so iat su not believe that the men i have m in wngan acntavny bne ngurctov the pelvis of the american women. they don't have the authority to do it. this is 5 matter of deep, deep conscious. dersnd pplo ou b i auntaeohoy

waen t me, and i think the importt thing to remember is abon a n ti betenle th i t dsi t he'rinav a lbon ial or, well know were that ends. we all know when abortion is put against the law, hundreds of thousands of women have neverthelessrmedei n- nas s,me on tos tfoiv moments i had on the issue doing a column called "abortion ofrome iir0si sat wh aro s, agr erauei mrs d gabons from which they died, and i thought i do not want to crea anymore

abortion orphans, and the way to >> :'s fneorep ti city, and good afternoon, you're on with anna. >> caller: good afternoon. well, anna cannot evenma heor w a ama. lo iut duly trained catholic child, grew up by nuns, came to the united states at almo 1 and imarrd,h gs ware t ref t children, to work, clean up, and education to really mke a good salary. icoueki ce of t wh ty fshig

hoit id m g be a ne. that's my strongest memory of you is one day in the debate, surroundedy men, dealing with thll r a onbortion,nd out it a yu id qly bu sed ery sinhe y said, gentlemen, rememberer aralkgwhee itis chs, orshe mpt, isotfo y s those words i passed to my daughters who have grown up to be iepdent, agly in chond growi up years and years as a wife. they have been able to stand by

themselves, i put your books in r has,nd i wacn toe, fgn ua dohaauou have empowered all of us. i am almost 70 years of age now, du'tr t thyorinth en too f many of us. >> host: we'll leave it there. thank you for calling. i eayat c dea lim he wn us ff a computer screen saying to myself is anybody reading this stuff, and to hr something like that from mahiese ooman o solear h fatide j

anu h. host: anna quindlen, when you meet your readers, do they feel lik they know you? >> gst: yes,hey alu . ote ts ra rbe os ntrsco i w iwrline0 was a column about my pregnancy th maria, and i wrote i was not going to hve par usdeinvef bawere nths g cyhe pregnancy to term, and we just were very upset about it. very upset about it. there were so many letters. le,ig t?r rantu g:l, ly pe who thought that a woman's right to choose was aol andat

sm bhi w ift esohe ha sibling with a disability, and who argueded that their family life had been really sig tilianthatll t an t iout afford to do this for my son. it was shocking, you know,hat that kind of outpouring, and at one point, iasom ouan ss ermons naowld h vevetthi cn. s doesn't know me. my husband says you invited these people into ourouse once a week for three years, and you meowth't wne oseme e as a wpl ca nim pna

column did make readers thi that we knew on another, and somemes inhe bss thcoits ia iee t e. that was one moment when it was >>ll i might get ang for me little choed up with the comments and tour of your ho and how amazing it wasen y ndetme w ssndou f re ilthu. hifnn hello to you, and sorry i'm struggling with conversation, and i rememb in early 2001 seeing you, and my [iibdayndus

sju found out battling cancer for eight years that- and at any rate, you weresointhoond sige,iintho eaosa. i don't need to go back, but i am with my sister, and so thank you for all ofth ud] m l sgl a recommendation from you on a book toead -- dbl. >>stanu h. and thank you f th aer ll heeart ofhen so lucky to have is this community of

women friends that i just happened to never have met, and that started with li i the rag id tamme s ure de medti ul e en w the new book, "lots of camells and plenty of cake" because women sahat's how ie a inhias j ertountai at'rton n' any good advice. i mean, the weirdest part of what i do is that people seem to thin tt w shi dyeow o tt le'tow ul b heom t. e hatth i've wound up doingecause of what i do for a living, articulating what are commonly held felings and at i a hth ple

tiselke iea emd t'sea feeling, and all i could say is, you know, you h s. teic b pctus ers ldmi sn w hld up half the world. i don't think that's true. i think women hold up almost all the rld. thank you so much for calling in. >> host: did you he fom le nioyenwe inatll both pro and con. by e-mail, you fd how much people hate you st i gomy elsnd , g jein s hfyg t y think did they think i wouldn't read the e-mails?

pre ndedic pour in from all oer anf ce,h arn the international tribune as well so you got internation th woo yndnk w just so that sli hve childhood -- and first time i remember having sense of what it means to be in the world was giy a f.tng eraooatolst me lkuntwa ion copies, that made people understa something that their own circumstances wldn't have beene toma t dendd in t's i d.

nlngus a le yo larged someone else's world or sense of themselves, it's just the best feeling in the world. >> host: next call for ana rae?s omraein am okay. i think she is gone, but i don't know if you noticed this or not, but ail the callerso far,nd it's random on-,ha be meuteehage i ok wng ca, seea al yes, thank you for taking my call. hello, anna. it been a pleasure listening to you and wtchingou ov t wosath f li owe y nsalav said, but i do for a bit of a different reasoneing here in spokane.

i've bn a closeenf, ev r yge phst mthce kevin. >> caller: yes, and so he speaks very highly of you,f course, and i've been i h meny m t, a w t that i vice president -- haven't read your books, but i do empathe, a like i as veh emtont ippatllhe og t you have been a part of, and i,se w ctok aas er i uld t tt bbout your

experiences with writing fiction in some of the challengesha gs >>es s, t a r, ber i said hi, and second of all, i mean, think the biggest challge of writing fio k lefo sbo eontiory peay mlhe time, "how do you make it up?" if we make it upright, it seems really real, as real as anything you ite out aor acoisd hi atlw e cen aysd oorlo when i'm done. with a column, that's simple. that takes me a short period of time. with a novel, it ually tak me about wpl h a

ydilo ahe i have a very strong sense of meter and rhythm to my writi, wog,th t'snkll whether that's it a abe w anr g tsa w yeaald whether the dialogue works. there's something about saying the dialogue allowed that makes you tnkateed fie, hd or 'sntti how forgiving myself i am running my eye over the sentences andow i lose that ability when i'm acal ying t snc d, bermeg mayoar i aho n y. ou r sncud

for example, and your breathless at the end, that's nature's way itced dtou it w ron athado tmae itht written. i almost feel as if i'm going to run into my charaers on the street. ateath cen akh tr,o he dyst, problems, or issues, but to have them as real as anybody you might see on the corner in the afternoon. >> host: anna quindlen, th clof19 is fromdr bs , ouknt nyyslkinrk listening to your work on audio cd. i' also a barnard alum and acma yckut tpe

u? nce e'ot m anbos. tut where does race fit into your books? >> guest: good point. il cin tkeitst a obou t, il knnyaye ueuy oof t instructive books about racism that's ever been written. i give it to my children when i to morrison, but women of color, ethnic background including two greatbad coe,no int ed --

background who is a remarkable writer. there's no question the la er.he ang oat bse mat love as a writer have tended to be 19t century authors, and as noportit forbl mre wa virtlly me pshn. na omimes i think, but i try to combat tat every chance i get. >> host: appeared several times onookt ando okrgar fio d in d-a-n-c-i-t-a-e, and you can write several times she's been on booktv. wh iswith you and the of sst io tret

go be' left with a stellar novel of a certain period of time, and not the ones that are really, really good, itotaur, eic,first ranks. ll entertaining novels, and also their story of thems a trilogy really, and there's nothing i le beer t aligrs obi lobon y, t mt genius writer most pple have never read, and the cornish trily,se oneook, anayay ingoo m ag tni isdlothli os hs second reference, and i want 20 a you a question, but i want to read this.

this is from sue. i want tthanou rhe shokor m to y tot w i could, and she goes on, but then she also menons that she is going to get her daughter to listen to ts book. th'scoer, uioorlof y s? i'rere ai uns w'sus as a method of torture. it is a nightmare, and all of any novels have been read by lu bf first person, non-fiction book saying i did this, i ew up here, and my children did that, th rde ct t io

ok cenegpl i like. i mean, you're in the little booth, and you read your own os ouinoh ohul hdthaas . uso dve asoe te the forum notong ago that there's many wds that you know how to use correctly, but you do not know how to luy,rorsthe aksthrereyit ,ndme voice, which is not working in the gps in your car, but there's a disembodi voicto rd a yser ynday sth ds su h tourgle with your stomach, and you do this for eight hours.

if you're good at , i's two ti s er dit n,me p ab-s j i rr. osho did "lots of candles, plenty ofcake"? >>uest: i did that one. 'sheonge o'vne l t. la od win haed ha a really bad bronchial infection at the time i was supposed to do it. they thought i would do it anyh,ndl s to d t tca fwik mgeo get to a somewhat lower register than i'm using right now, but it was good enough that did the book. foldost: wtira,th u'nit an quindlen on

booktv. >> caller: thank you for your writings. they challenged me, and also affirmy ownthng or ys,hae erth iudyo okut d ywusrn 7 i' pediatrician. i was a roman catholic sisr and worked in the monor id leveear reasons where it was decided and within my communities, but the question i wanted to come backto you about washeatof r olhu pp gtoa ast ll ipaelhoutw years ago, and for the exact same reasons that you stated. say iav net aeeoe

beefy fisan rt thinking independently somewhat of the disions of the ha - en coof the church and i cas as thng y ti as you do, how can you continue to go to church? it really can almost feel like not only ame byb ch woi ld bsto, and that was, as you said, an extraordinary painful thing. in fact, i think i was si at time ale adn ,nd w iok t t dwihata theosid

wise, i -- >> host: thank you, hellen, for coming in. >> guest:w. yo btoew stt, wchhy ayg as we stayed, and my kids are so tiredf hearing about this. i hope none of them is icki roanesas. hosnea rn ryes t tomb, and he's gone. she goesesnd gets john and peter, who one assumes would have notnowforothe deshus w rn, thhego ogain, and she's crying by the tomb, and a man is there who eoesn't relyeizan c bd ir

s e w. erstde i "woman," and i don't understand how the church misses this. anys any ar fthe d, ng mose oisiggests he should have almost nothing to do with women, and yet in all the it rations of the new ttame tire wim lfo thpels l aot encounters with women, and i jt don't understand how you don't draw from that, the conclusion that thur,t wn me church who feel called to the priesthood for example feel a

mebe tcut tl, and what seemsto iecaeem bse christ's apostles were all male, ignores the moments of his time, gos wrn, it ari dg deofhr ignores the entire message of the new testament so i guess, doctor, u and i are going to have to be satisfied with the new amansaieth >>t:ho in geri" you write it's the point of the pried word since inception, ctainly since martin luther nail on the coinf esis

grth is i 5 all great things came from sedition. we became a couny bauof di, e r, yoowok g pe ci and upset those are good books. one of the bestompliments i got om a reader wasrs o bl t su k stereeth b you make me think aut things in a slightly different way. that's more important. not agreeing with me is not indienay t'sut looking athi pot. fot llan t hatcl o p t 60s, this fascinated me until vatican too

cel ple e f,hensciousn a mo chin on books. >> guest: if you want to find listfercoook hei onn b a iciyocon oerr. a asheeoo ey aays, you know, first of all, maury is o there with kin,ther hnt booksor ts a" "catcher in the rye," just books that rattle you. books are supposed to rattle you. loturac trlsedtokeou din -- dl

whkfftlom this? why am i feeng threatened by this? i think good books frequently make you feel treated, and peat's tt'weow a reer w ohoe fullton's sheen whose show was popular or the day christ died, a dmatized account of the road wair bndwh, u time when books were just dirty, were universally found betwee mas, how-toesn how to have any kind of a sex life. that was born out of the water in e early19wiheoy

shaassid ly sioe. os alfrxa robert, good afternoon to you. >> caller: yes. >> host: go ahead with your question. >> caller: thank you very much. i have two quick questions, and they areilicy whe mth grant, there it was a comedy. thsa s ah goeshin, maea e o w v mi,er artistic and very intelligent and very strong nded i guess you could say, and everybody loved them. rty dtor e t t s. y dtsoin s f fleve

-- female movement take off at that time >> guest: actually. that's anntereing historical question. the truth is that inhe r e tdsom ff, mo tme othe wmome in wan workplace, and that reached the zeith wor war in t rerr the jobs that had been held by men who were now in the pacific theater, the european theater of war. appened,ic, enofldh emebad thme went to college on the bill, and when american prosperity was couched in terms of thiss fst

eded c de living, a therefore women no longer need to work. they can all go back home and run the washing machine and cook wofuwfrdsh ehe soinwarol lerivilege. we t sos tav er blessed, happy life, and yet they didn't feel happy in it. women say work is what makes soofhas wofed andiv a inr drbulo wou torndso tslihat the 50s

were not all ey were cracked up to be and grew and then exploded wth tnt whouad ashf thifnc between, for example, theewspaper movie that he's citing or others in 20s d30hiuruteror in e at n,e mng bsialeonha cers, ane the things that became axiomatic about the women's movement of the 70s and 80s was thathat had toch,nd, re ceddne te i nha ou,erly wn wlace are mr. in a more co-equal role than ever before. >> host: robert, you had a qik llp? cr:ealdo

w bofuf b i t ay eth t in b wi e litil stuff going on, people say, and i read things in the paper, and much of it is, i think, increct or iome. cewhil a litle mehr,'mat cin'som yiomnghe advantage, if it's negative about them or their guy they are supporting. love -- that's the only time i believe anything. my question is d iopou i'in t ri y b may annoy you. i think the days when you could watch one newshow in the eveng and readewsr w iat p d i gng,ho ber.,ndheou ot t npa carrieded water for one party or another or for local business

and industry, andots of those weotadug spl nk acaha teppnin stofthunto well-informed today. a lot of it has to do with the internet. what i would s is you t to nepeomufr fftntof . r plfoulot itl pages, i always read the "wall street "wall street j" editorial people. people are prized by that bacae itas erve i t lalow irosnsif i't owat conservatis are saying on any given issue? i read the "wall street jona" and i read the "new york times," the "new york dly ite t bor t

nedk wide variety of television programs and online because i think if you cobble together the cove frvayrc of an importantsu tongho whom, and we have a historic opportunity to do at now like we never had bere ofneontio ivou loud," living out loud," how reading changed my life, short guide to a happy lifeloudnd ean in onn00 go, s07nd her memoir, a lot of candles, plenty of cake in 2012.

do yousee a futuren-ct ? ue: t. vey r. tht doth non-fiction for good and never expected write this book and partmented to be afuim mooo r yerer voices, i discovered that in the year i was born, 1962, the avage life expectancy of er w8. i ,ploohoog. w inriof t life, not here the end of it, and, of course, our current life expect ct i0. ane pe ts,

60s, and 7 # 0s are living now. i realized that'something i wanted to explore in print and hee is book. elet ilahi he. bmiro veout of writing children's books for girls in elementa school, a do you >>st i wriok rmey ols ed piveaf oukiut little girl, and my kids really loved it so i did chirp's boo when k kbrngmtoth ocwhwaea nd i aoo app on my ipad and read some books on the ipad and some bookss physical books. i get sent a oksh

nootoom f heve s ve hsd,rs i leading them in physical form. if i get a book that i really, really love and i know i'm either going to want to keep and th-read p on, ays mes etit it phalm.etn rxe,he novel about thomas crownwell, bring up the bodies, i have that on the ipad, and i also hav in ysic f dooutrngow ri a jallp or hinder your fiction writing? >> guest: oh, it's a huge help to my first writing in so many different w wrediuet'lio caispnt l

writing people's words down verbatim in notebooks, and that helps you -- first of al hes you understand that syntax is ghnduand sciv frpe'sth tells you as many as their backgrounds or their appearance, butsot stele rse w opal aivhefa att life was taking 1200ords, turning them i a thousands and ng sa s ugth i0 key pe tow h t ttissomehe most importt editing that i ever do, and when my kids were little abthclng to write, i tked

you aci tor reot adncth rin hera, but throat clearing. i know how to take the throat clearing out, an finally, the most abhito e y d ke thorisloin wee t it out and hammer it into the news hole, and i think that's invaluable. i mean, one of the most common estii'm asked is abt thttiso g i rial pmeay >>ost: do you write every day, and do you miss it if you don't write for a couple days? >> guest: no, i'd be happy not rite. i'waksinsecae tele no one will want to read this,

bui do try to write every day when i, you ow, when i no of i sh o ths tc oons erernog m candthhago ai 9ve s coffee,ound it out, make some lunch, pound it out, call it a day. >> host: mj with a cp dods reths t fo-u t, re a er n well-known, how do you get an editor's attention? >> guest: well, there' one little trick i've recommended to people, and actuay, i know of tw cse w's wed d sh h ad ha inouo. a food is out there who is like you in terms of style, subjt matter, interests, the things that rlkehwa

e. mollwrs he owemsent end of the book recognize their agent and editor. i suggest to find ten books that ally fato b got cleenctan e ug a er i oueth a nmo oin tten books, that's probably god's way of telling you that's an edit you want to send your stuff to. yorseaeadrs i know all ha fi-3es thay editor, nothing here or i'm going to read the rest of thisand let you know, andcaaleahest ustis m b uow tcee mi, the wonderful novelist sent a script to my agent cold.

her firs reader read it. my agent read. nk so i itwa buo i th dorbee s weran ad a great career as she should have. >> host: who is kate? >> guest: kate is my editor ranouroer nn myks materially improved by the work kate does on them. i don't take everything that she po sal ks m i w k w avtetoat most wonderful ofoints between editor and agent, aside from our frieship, which is considerablendtshe i'bol sretti

in and what kate suggested i add. >> host: next call from anna, an hour left in theprogra this h, cs te, t. wagofton >>t: a,r.o al like to thank c-span for booktv. i'm a great fan. i'm not familiar with any ofhe ss.nd go tarbao enn pro-choice debate, and perhaps took your to wintyrolytitem he oon te m on tint n into in discussion with women who are of ther