>> thank you to all three of you and thank you for coming. [applause] [inaudible conversations] ..

next on booktv, greg gutfeld argues that liberals utilized manufactured outrage and artificial tolerance to deflect criticism of our social ideologies. he says what is deemed as smart and toller lance to front the

liberal arguments. it's about an hour. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. [applause] the first library i've been in where i have not been asked to put on my pants on leave. i'm not kidding actually. [laughter] i'm going to get to that joke in a minute, but before, during the signing, i met so many nice people when i was sitting in there, and i was sitting there going, like, wow, what would it be like if all your fans were jerks? [laughter] wouldn't that tell you something? that if all of your fans are actual -- i can't swear in the reagan library, but if they were jerks, i mean, what if you were bill mar? [laughter] but -- so i'm signing books here, and a young man gives me a tiny unicorn.

[laughter] you can see that; right? it's the smallest unicorn i've ever seen, but it's a unicorn, and that all that matters. do you think sean hannity gets unicorns? [laughter] no, he doesn't have time. bill o'reilly? maybe if he did a book called killing unicorns. i get the unicorns. they don't. by the way, i don't know how many people are fans of red eye? [cheers and applause] all right. this whole unicorn got out of hand. [laughter] the reason why i was talking about unicorns in the beginning of the show is i thought it would be odd and weird if a middle-aged man was obsessed with something a teenage girl would be. i thought as a conservative libertarian, it would be interesting to create false narratives about you to throw off the left. if you assign certain behaviors

to yourself, they don't know what to make of you. i learned this at the huffington post that i created this whole false story behind me, that i lived with a flight instructor named scott. [laughter] he was never home. [laughter] and there would always been a weird stimpleg in the basement, and i wrote this stuff because the left was not used to dealing with somebody who was messing with them. in the world of left and right, the right was always what i call the dean warner from animal house. they delighted in that. my goal in life is to switch that, and i don't need any help because the left has become over the last 30 years the dean wormer, the person that is trying to sap fun out of your life and uses tolerance in order to outlaw any decent behavior

that you might have. i talked about making that joke, you know, being thrown out of a library, i made that joke because it's a good example of what the book is about. we did a story in "red eye," i can't remember where, doesn't matter because i'm probably making it up -- [laughter] there was a story about how they were having a problem with homeless people looking at pornography in libraries, and a solution in the 1950s would have been easy. we don't have the internet so it doesn't exist. that was a terrible joke. [laughter] the point being common sense in the 50s and 60s would have been you throw the person out, but that's not how it works these days. in the age of tolerance, you have to tolerate or your child has to tolerate a person who is using the internet in the library to look at pornography. the solution was to create screen guards. that was their solution.

rather than just doing the right thing, which is get out, you pervert. [laughter] believe me, i heard that many times. [laughter] it works. [laughter] it got me out of john stossell's apartment, but then he asked me to come back in, we had coffee and played jinga. [laughter] the big point -- there's a lot of points in the book, but the big point everything sensible is mean and everything bad is justified under the rue brick of tolerance so the joke about taking your pants off in the library is now tolerable. saying that i don't want that happening is narrow minded. that's what's happening today. basic common sense is considered wrong, irrelevant, bad, blah, blah, blah. i want to talk about the fact

that i'm here at the reagan library, which is kind of amazing. of all the presidents that i've met, he is my favorite. [applause] he's the only president i've met. [laughter] i want to tell you about how that happened because, you know, i don't know many people that have met him, and i was lucky to meet him. in 1987, i worked for a magazine calmed "the american spectator," and my job consistented of going to the drugstore a lot picking up mysterious things. [laughter] i won't get into it further because this is on c-span, and i'm still friends with bob. my take home pay for two weeks was $360. for two weeks. i lived with two elderly ladies. i had nothing, nothing. when anybody complains when they are young, i said, try living

with two old ladies in virginia, and then they invited their older sister to live with them, so there was three. [laughter] anyways, ronald reagan, twice a year would go to people eats houses -- people's houses to have dinner. he chose my boss' house. i said, what do you need? i'm mowing lawn, washing windows, and i hope overi'm i do this stuff, he says, greg, stick around, meet the president. sooner or later after, like, days and days of preparation, that's what happened. he said, you can meet him. the high point, a couple high points of meeting ronald reagan. one was when the bomb sniffer dogs came in and urinated on my boss' briefcase. [laughter] to this day, he thinks it's me. [laughter] and it might have been.

[laughter] the great thing about dogs is they don't live long enough to tell stories. the dinner, i often tell people that i shared an intimate dinner with ronald reagan. that's what i tell people, and it is true. it is true because after the dinner was over, i actually took his dinner and went in the kitchen and ate it. i'm not kidding. technically i shared an intimate chicken dinner with ronald reagan. [laughter] the embarrassing part about meeting him is how you have this amazing opportunity, and you screw it up. i was in the living room in virginia, and you're watching this insane motorcade coming up the street, and the neighbors are in lawn chairs outside drinking, and this is 5 -- a huge deal, even if they hate ronald reagan, which they probably did because he was the

world's greatest president and he's no jimmy carter. [laughter] all the sudden, they are star struck. i'm out there, i'm, like, not out there, but i'm in the living room, wearing a cheap suit, stained tie, and i'm watching this motorcade come in, and i'm going, wow, he must be coming in. i turn around, and he's standing right there. it was a decoy. there's a person in a reagan mask. [laughter] that's how you feel when you see somebody like that. you think, oh, it's somebody -- who is this in a reagan mask, but it was ronald reagan, and he was drinking a screwdriver, and so, like, there was not any really secret service people there, and i was standing there, and he was just standing there, and there was a couple people there with a photographer there. it's not like now where everybody's like this. there was, you know, unless they had a twitch. [laughter]

i, like, did what i would normally, i said hello to him, but i didn't say hello, i said, [inaudible] [laughter] he just looked at me and probably has, you know, it's nice that they have those people come to these dinners. [laughter] how compassionate. [laughter] anyway, i ended up in the kitchen. i ate his dinner, talked to the secret service guy. it was raining. they played piano. don't worry. it's fitting i'm here. i think i have some things in common with ronald reagan. he was governor of california. i lived in california. [laughter] he was once a democrat. i once bought a counterfeit watch in times square.

same thing. everybody makes mistakes. [laughter] as an actor, he starred with a three foot harry chimp, and i work with box beckel. [cheers and applause] no, no, no, cheap, that was cheap! [applause] [laughter] the only reason why i can make that joke about bob is that he's a lovable guy. >> [inaudible] [laughter] >> yes! are we going to make this about bob? because i will. i got nothing to do. i'll be here all night. no, bob's is a great guy, this is is on c-span, and he'll see this. bob's a great guy. bob performs a service. he -- [laughter] i should shut up. [laughter] i should just quit. [laughter] another thing i have in common with ronald reagan, he champions

trickle down economics. i have a weak bladder. [laughter] on june 12th, 1987, he told them to tear down this wall, huh? i like vodka. [laughter] he calls russia an evil empire, and every day, i call dadna parino an evil person, and i know you think she's adorable and takes about that job -- [applause] woah, woah, lies. you ask guys, and you really think jasper is a dog? that's an armean man as she hired as an enduretured servant wearing a fur costume, and she just takes pictures of this poor sweaty man all over central park. disgusting. [laughter] someone has to tell the truth,

that's what i'm here for. reagan influenced millions of people, turning freedom and individuality around the world, and i think that, and all of you are products of that. that's not a joke. [applause] i should stick to the joke thing. you look at me like, huh, what was that about? the book was born from the reagan era, about people who pretend to be tolerant when. -- when, in fact, they are not. they use tolerance to shut you up. what was reagan portrayed as in the media? what kept you talking about low taxes was being described as mean, cold, evil. the dad that never hugged you. that's the basis of liberalism. the dad that never hugged you. he didn't hate the poor. he ate the poor.

[laughter] a consequence of this, well, republicans have always had to deal with this, and we don't fight back. we assume that we are cold and we don't know what to do about it other than just continually make the economy work while we let the liberals destroy it, and then we come in every two years and fix it. right now -- [applause] common sense is viewed as intolerant. the nicest thing that you can say to somebody, no matter who it is is get a job. that's the nicest thing you can say. when you walk down a street, and there's a guy panhandling, and you say, get a job. you are complimenting him. you say you have the will and the means to get a job, but now these days, if you say that, it's seen as mean and intolerant to assume people have the power to act of their own.

that's where we are at now. if you assume a person can take care of themselves, you are a big got. i never bought into the compassionate conservative thing. remember with that? i'm playing with the unicorn. the hat fell off. the passionate conservative is redundant. being a conservative is being compassionate, just takes the extra step for people to realize you believe in something that's better for them than giving them something. calling them a compassionate conservative is like calling somebody a naive liberal. [applause] the biggest offender in the world of tolerance is what i call the people who are tolerate ing until they meet you. it only works until you use it amongst your friends. it's like having a party by

yourself. which i am doing at the holiday inn later. [laughter] they travel in pacts. i call them the toleradi. they are protesters, activist groups, and malaria. [laughter] to them, everything is mean. everything you do is mean. common sense is mean. language is mean. you can't call terrorism, terrorism. you call it workplace violence. you can't call terrorism, terrorism, but a spontaneous mob because that might hurt somebody's feelings. we are a sensitized nation now where feelings govern thinking. wealth is considered mean. if you work for a living, that's mean. achievement is mean because somehow what you achieved was at the expense of somebody else. thinking about wealth for a minute. what drives me nuts is all celebrities calling for an increase in taxes. i thought about it for awhile, and i looked at their careers.

a lot over the span of a decade got into the 20 million to 40 million dollar rake, -- range, and they want to raise taxes on people like me. people like them are not people like them. they worked 35 years getting to a $2 million job, but if you say this, you're defending the rich. actually, they throw the rich under the bus. there's a guy in his 60s who has five kids, couple grandchildren, and he worked for that money. you didn't. you're an actor. [laughter] [applause] i would say hold your applause until the end, but i kind of like it, so -- [laughter] examples of this phony tolerance and what it does is the way the media portrayed the tea party in occupy wall street, there's a couple chapters, and i could have wrote a book just on

thatment one was mock the tea party and one was sanctified if that's a word. is it? excellent. if you look at the tea party, hundreds of thousands of people, no arrests. occupy wall street, thousands, thousands of arrests. the proportion of weirdness and violence cannot be questioned. you know, i always say this about the tea party. they don't throw chairs through the windows because they own the chair and the win doe. [laughter] [applause] occupy wall street and the tea party are a great example of ownership versus public use. you don't poop in the driveway you own, and occupy wall street pooped everywhere, and that was the big problem. they created acres of unsanitary conditions to the point where businessmen who were sympathetic

to them were like get these freaks out of here. they can't even take care of their own bodily functions, and they want to change the government. if you can't pee, you're not changing anything, you stupid, stupid jerks. anyway -- [cheers and applause] [applause] the chapter on -- two chapters on that, and i focus on how the media demonized the tea party and lionized occupy wall street, will get to it later in the third hour of the speech. [laughter] other areas, borders, everybody has a border, but if you talk about a border, you're a racist. france has a border, they don't deserve one, but they have one. [laughter] our military is treated on campuses with intolerance.

if you organize a care package deliverly to afghanistan, there's professors and student activist groups who say, but we're bad, like, why are we sending stuff to, who, like kill babies? i don't have anything on them other than their are idiots allowing bill ayers to teach. they give accolades to terrorists which he is a terrorist, yet give no respect to the troops. there's a chapter in the book on that. read it immediately. conservative women, any -- [cheers and applause] you have the toughest job because feminists hate you, and they go out of their way to demonize you even though you are often stronger than they are because you are rejecting government dependence. feminists embrace government as daddy, and you don't do that. that's kind of cool.

language, like i said before, fort hood, benghazi, that's been completely replaced in the language of tolerance through political correctness. smoking, smoking is the last intolerance for people. i get harassed all the time. they see me as a cigarette tree when they are drunk. i don't smoke, but when they are drunk, can i have a cigarette? shut up. [laughter] a lot of this is done through what i call the tyranny of the cool. cool trumps all. we live in a culture where everybody wants to be cool. it's important to be accepted by teenagers. how did this happen? [laughter] fact is, i use a phrase "teenagers" to describe everybody now from 18 to 38 because that's what we have. they are obsessed with media pop culture, people in the academic world are obsessedded with being cool, do anything to be cool.

cool says traditional success is bad. it's an attack on their parents. it comes back to something about dad didn't hug me enough. i don't want to be like him, and this -- it becomes a phony rebellion where good and evil are relative. it used to be good was good and evil was evil, but cool makes it so evil's all right. you see that in movies. nobody, if you asked an actor who they would rather play, charles manson or mitt romney, they would say charles manson because, you know, gets a little thing on my forehead, lose weight, great role, get an oscar. hollywood romances evil and struggle to point out the good things. rock music. growing up there was stories about rock groups trashing hotel rooms and how cool and rebellious it was to destroy things, but somebody had to clean it up, and it was always a

maid. i wonder if they ever thought about the little guy who had to clean their stupid messes or the stuff they have to deal with what they are oding or getting high or wasted. it's ultimate hypocrisy. they pretend to be a rebel, but they hurt the regular guy they are championing. there used to be a time -- [applause] there used to be a time when, like, being a celebrity was edgy. you were supposed to speak truth to power, but now they french kiss it. look at john stuart, he had a rally making fun of the tea party like it was rebellious, but he was just speaking truth to power to people who were speaking truth to power. the tea party are the rebels. he was making fun of it. he was not talking about liberals. he was talking about tea party people. that went out for the first time in their lives, went out and they did something.

wasn't that supposed to be elevated by the media? suspect that what they talk about? about getting involved? isn't that what it's all about? no, not when you're not a liberal. nevermind, then it's, like, funny. you're old, you're stupid, you're silly. we like to hang with the occupy wall street people. i ask a liberal, who would you rather share a bus seat with, occupy wall streeter or tea party? [laughter] you know what they say. they lie. so -- i skipped ahead there, so cool, in my opinion is based on the david and goliath narrative. big is bad, small is good. big things, like america, the military, business, breakfast buffets -- [laughter] are seen as evil and people can make fun of them. when they are in europe, they make fun of how fat americans are.

i lived there, they are just as fat and stupid. small things, however, are seen as somewhat heroic. terror groups are seen as freedom fighters because they are small. ows, because it was a tiny faction was seen as cool. activism is always seen as the david. dana parino -- [laughter] the media embraces david over goliath even if america is evil. if america was a house, the left would root for the termites. i used that before. i thought it worked. i'm not just trying to say that the left are bad people. i'm just saying they are not people. [laughter] by the way, no, no, no, not true. [applause] i use that -- why i say that is that i use that because that's what they do, and it's time that we throw that back at them, even if it's a joke. [applause] they are people. they are people.

they are some of my favorite people, but they don't own the turf that is ridiculed. why is the cool against uncool important? it won an election. face it. the reason people like barack obama is because he's cool. he beat a war hero, a community activist, an organizer, beat a war hero four years ago. how did that happen? because he was cool. it was cool to vote for him. the culture embraces fake coolness over real achievement. kids would rather play astronaut than actually be one. it's more interesting being famous than doing something. i will say this. i am -- there is a really big bright spot to president obama being re-lengthed. it is like tearing off a band-aid. if he lost, he would be back for another four years, and 45% more grayer making him more trustworthy.

we're uncool. that's how we are. i look at the message. what is our message? we like to build things, making things is cool. what's wrong with that. we like to open stuff. that's good. competition, competition is often the liberal view that self-esteem is better. better to fuel self-esteem than competition. the highest self-esteem is found in prison. i think i made that stat up. [laughter] it's one of those things you roadway and repeat over and over again, but if you immediate a criminal, they meef they commit crips because they deserve to. why not? i deserve this. i didn't work for this. i take this. our alternative for that is competition makes you a better person. you win. unity over division. what we used to call patriotism is cool. everybody is governed by their identity, not cool.

it's cool to say you're an american. we have to find a way to articulate that again to people coming here. the reason why you came here is because this is an awesome place, and this is why it's awesome and exceptional. [applause] what's not cool is dependency, which is gaining ground, the julia lifestyle. if you remember the website that the obama campaign put up showing a woman's life being taken care of by the government. somehow, that is okay, the idea that, you know what? don't try too hard, don't worry about it, we'll be there for you. we're the knelt. how did that get to be cool? government intrusion is not cool, but it's cool to them. the left used to say stay out of my bedroom, but now they. to be on your plate. tell you what to eat. i bought cigarettes called gold

now. what is wrong with america? for them, what's cool is separatism. this is the worst part born out of the self-esteem movement is describing yourself by not what you've done, but what you are. this is the most dangerous thing because it feeds into -- no one is happy. you can want be happy defined by your own identity. you are only happy defined by your achievements. it's in your heart when you do good wok work. we are creating people who are proud to be what they are, which makes no sense to me. having said that, i'm proud to be short. [laughter] in some, we placed what was an exceptional country with a tolerant country. it's why president obama went around the world. it was not because america was exception gnaw, but because we want to be liked.

we're not so bad. that never works. people sense weakness. we see that now with the arab spring. they didn't care. the arab nightmare. in my closing, which i always like to say, even though i don't know what i'm going to say, in closing, the cool, they are in the driver's seat right now. we're in the passenger seat. unfortunately, the cool drive like jane mansfield. [audience reacts] that was too soon for that joke? [laughter] i have to look for a joke that involves a horse and buggy and you guys will be okay. [laughter] it's tough for us to find a message because as a conservative, we don't like government. why join something we hate? asking a conservative to run for office is like asking bill clinton to be monogamous.

it's not -- [applause] however, the people that you are dealing with once every two years and four years, this is like their romance novel. running for office is their romance novel. they are into it. their cars run for office. when you see them, they have bumper stickers. it's, like, they want you to know how they feel all the time. going off topic. i was interviewed today, one the worst ever, it was awful. the first -- she did a softball question and asked, why, isn't your book what fox news says? i said, give me specifics, and it was, like, 40 seconds of silence. i said, no, if you tell me what you are talking about. you know, bashing liberals. i go, actually, that's not what the book is about. do you have specifics? it was clear she had not read the book, and this is how you --

you can't argue with a liberal when they don't want to show up to do their damn home work. anyway, finally, i kept going after her and going, okay, why do you say these things? this is a journalist. i feel that, like, you know, when you say these things, and i feel, and i feel -- okay, i think that only liberals say "like," i might be wrong, but i said to her, i go, you know, it's weird. i go right now you say how you feel opposed to think. don't you think that's strange when you interview an author about a book, and you keep saying "how you feel," isn't that weird? she didn't have an answer for me. [laughter] but we're seeing each other later. [laughter] she sounded cute. no, i'm kidding. it was weird though. what was funny was she asked me, she said to me, so, what would you, you know, you transitioned

from magazines to tv. what do they have in common? i said, well, you know, the most important think when you're a reporter or anything is to prepare. [laughter] have a list of questions. read up on the person or perhaps read the book. [laughter] anything. magazines, booings, -- books, that's what you do. i don't think she even knew that i was talking to her. like, really good. i said this would be really good advice for a journalist. [laughter] anyway. so like i said, the cool are driving the car, we're in the passenger seat. the message -- the message is great. our message is always great. free markets, free minds, individual freedom, working hard. can't go wrong with that. people who come this to this country come for that reason. we don't articulate it because we don't play that game often enough, and we need a messager

who can do it and speak it in a way that, i don't know, is more fun? more interesting? i don't know. you got two years so start your engines. [cheers and applause] thanks. [applause] >> well, greg is kind enough to answer some questions. [laughter] >> no, i didn't. [laughter] >> okay, i'll be happy to take any questions. if people in the aisles, wandering the aisles with microphones, just wait until it's in your hand because you're on tv. right here. >> i was just curious, do you see maybe you or -- do you see anybody that could possibly not replace andrew breitbart, but

continue his message of fighting back? , maybe that's the wrong word, but -- >> doing what andrew did? >> yeah. >> andrew was too big for this planet, and i think that what's interesting is i met a lot of people who work at breitbart, and people who i work with on the show, it's kind of like in a weird way there's seven or eight people that need to do what he does, and they are doing. you're seeing it. i mean, there's so many people that were affected by breitbart and by his death. i compared it when i was at the funeral to a big bang. like -- that sounds weird, but these pieces of andrew went everywhere, and everybody walked awe -- away with a piece of him. on "red eye," he does this what would breitbart do in this situation? there's a shirt made that says "so," because when you're in a fight with a liberal, he would

go "so," and it always worked. [laughter] you can't replace him, but a lot of people together are, i think. good question. [applause] >> over here. [applause] >> i was just wondering you're one of the few conservative voices that does well at humor, and i'm wondering if you have an opinion on why that is and if we can get better at humor and speaking truth in that way? [laughter] >> some of the funniest people i know are, most of the funniest people i know are conservatives, but they are just -- they are doing other things. they are involved in business, you know, it never -- it never occurred to them to become comedians. you know what i mean? i think it's a weird thing because most of the comeed yaps that i meet when i do "red eye" are not liberal, it's just that they don't speak their politics. they are out there more than you

think, but they want a paycheck and don't want to get screwed. that's the reality is that a lot of people just don't like to say what they feel, and the most successful comedians always are grounded in common sense, and that's generally my opinion as a conservative value. i didn't answer your question. [laughter] but we're still meeting later. [laughter] >> greg, in the last election, it seemed as though many of our candidates had a tin ear and didn't understand the constituents that they were speaking to, made blunders that were exaggerated and amplified by the media. >> right. >> but nonetheless, blunders. how can we get our candidates to at least understand hip, it not be hip? >> you know what? i would argue that they don't necessarily have to be hip. i don't think ronald reagan was

hip. you know what's funny is if people talk about reagan about how conservative he was, not conservative enough, raised taxes, this and that, but he exemplified what was special about the american idea, and i do think that -- no one would describe reagan as hip, but he could articulate something that nobody else could. i had a strong feeling that mitt was getting there after the first debate, and i saw it when he said that one line, like, i've been doing this for 25 years, and i have no idea what you're talking about. like, wow, that was an amazing line. [applause] his mistake, and i said this over and over again is why did he drop libya? i don't know why. he got scared after the bully thing, and then i think that, you know, he had a glims of what he could do, and maybe he's just too nice a guy. i agree with you. i think when you remember back in the primary and there was 13

people, by the way, and i bet you can't name them all. i tried to name them, but there were 13 candidates, and not including that guy. [laughter] but -- 14. you liked parts of them, but you didn't like all of them, and that was the problem. i think, however, though, that, you know, i remember at the halvington post when i was writing there, and they were going crazy or barack obama. in 2004, 2005, i guess was when they started, and i was looking at him, and i go they have every reason to be excited because he's the most progressive candidate they've ever had, and he can -- it's a a perfect package, and it's like it's going to happen. i'm an optimist. i think that romney was almost there, but he blew it at the end. >> right over here.

>> [inaudible] >> be a happy warrior. you know what i mean? people get down, but you can't get down. great thing on liberalism is they always screw up. [laughter] [applause] basically, when a liberal is in power, it's like when the parents go away op vacation, and you come back, and you come into the apartment or house, and you can tell there was something happening here. [laughter] you got to get somebody to clean it up, and that's usually a conservative. >> hi, greg, i just want to on behalf of everybody say thank you for coming to california and being here. >> my pleasure -- [cheers and applause] >> thank you. [applause] >> i'm a a "red eye" junkie, we tape it, and i love the show. thank you for being a voice for

people like us. we're in line, and people are sad about the election still, but there's gutfeld who makes us laugh. you are the will rogers/mark twain of our generation. i'm serious. you are great so thank you. [applause] >> i think of myself as shania twain, but thank you. [laughter] >> hi, greg, thank you for coming. >> my pleasure. >> we're not tall, but big in spirit. >> i think i'm taller than you. >> yeah, you are. everybody is. >> thanks for bringing it up though. [laughter] do you have a question other than insulting my height? >> i do. it's not a serious question, but i was watching the five the other night, and i wonder if you have an avalanche of e-mails? you were talking to your group, and you said you wanted to use the phrase "fiscal cliff," and

you slipped and said something else that i won't say, but i wanted to know if anybody else caught it other than me? >> a lot of people did. [laughter] i, you know, okay, if you do two shows a day, that's going to happen. [laughter] and, by the way, i'm not even sure what i said, but there's two -- there are two versions of it. [laughter] there's one that's profane, and then there's one that's really bilogical. [laughter] we will just -- no, you know what? it was an obvious slip of the tongue. [laughter] this is the reagan library, people. [laughter] make me sick. >> okay, so real quick, up on the balcony. >> hi. i and my young boys are big fans of yours. i have my 13 and 10-year-old watching you every day.

>> oh, thanks. where are you? >> i'm up here. >> oh, hey, where. >> way up there. >> oh! [laughter] >> when i said i was coming to see you, they wanted to come too. they are big fans. >> so you put them in the closet? [laughter] i mean, that's perfectly fine, you're a terrible mother for coming here and leaving your kids alone. [laughter] chained. >> well, duct tape. >> that works. >> yes, believe me, they used it for many things. >> you know that's why they invented it. they can't call it kids' face tape. [laughter] >> no. >> you would have been in trouble. it's duct tape. >> i have five days. >> oh, congratulations. >> there's more uses for duct tape than you can imagine. anyway, my question is what can we do to start breaking this liberal grip on the term "racist"?

>> you have to mock it. that is -- by the way, that is -- you know you are close to the truth when somebody is calling you a racist because that means that's their last arrow that they have, and you just have to laugh and mock them unless, of course, you really are a racist. [laughter] into make it clear, racist is bad, being called a racist when you are not, always bad. it's also bad. it can ruin your life, your career, and the left judges without or with impunity? i should read more. i might have -- what is impunity? [laughter] probably not a word i should remember then. it's gone. [laughter] >> hi, greg. i think you've done a great job talking about the topics in the book, but i noticed you avoided one topic that you've asked us

to ask you about. >> what? >> panda the poo pa? >> yeah, 24 is one of the things that the editor of the books go, i think we should cut that because, i, you know, people who watch "red eye" know i create fantastic fantasy worlds just because i can, and why shouldn't you? in the book, i bring up -- actually, it's a personal story and quite frankly, i'm offended that you would bring it up here. [laughter] things didn't work out between me and the panda. we write, but he doesn't write back because he's a panda, and they can't write. [laughter] i think? they might. [laughter] >> hey, greg, nice meeting you, and thank you for coming to l.a.. my question is i had -- i spoke with a few students that go to the uc system here -- >> i do that too. >> yeah, i know. [laughter]

>> i just drive around. asking them stuff. [laughter] >> my question is he actually is a north korean sympathizer -- >> really? >> it seems to me that there's a lot of indock nation going on in college -- >> right. >> there is not a voice for libertarians or conservatives. >> no, that's true. the -- by the way, he's a friend of yours? >> well, not anymore. [laughter] >> that's the irony of the academic world in the campus that it's supposed to be the land of open minds, but if you're a conservative, the reality is it is the opposite -- well, i had no metaphor, but the -- it's because it's a self-perpetuating machine. the journalists there teach the future journalists who teach the future jowrntists. if you get a gender studies

degree, your only future is to teach gender stories. the only way to break that is to get into ace deem ya, who wants to do that? for the students, but, i mean, other than that -- other than that -- [laughter] it pays all right. tenure, that's a problem. why are you allowed to be a crack pot on campus? because you can. you will not get fired. that's tenure. over here -- >> one question. will you all continue to keep asking who pushed the video? >> yeah. [applause] you're referring to the suzanne somers exercise video that was stolen there my locker. [laughter] probably by shep. that's why he's in great shape. it's the only question that matter, and, by the way, everything about the story will come back to that. it's always who told you to do

that and why? there was no elfed that there was a mob. i always go back to one thing. it was a gut -- it was a gut response about how you feel about america and how you feel about everyone else that maybe it is our fault and maybe we should apologize even though there was no evidence, and they laughed at us when we did that so -- >> over here? >> yeah? >> [inaudible] what about your dad? what did he do? how did you grow up, and were your parents the influence on your politics? >> well, my dad is serving 25 to life. [laughter] actually, he's the winner of the family. [laughter] no, my dad passed when i was 18 from cancer. it happens. you know? move on. good guy, though, really good guy.

thanks for asking, i guess. [laughter] right down the middle here. >> all right. i've always wondered what happened to that liberal talking pinch on "red eye"? >> wait, do you miss him? [audience reacts] >> all right. here's my feeling. actually, i thought it was a practical decision because the fact that there were new people that were watching the five, and the five was repeated, and they were coming into "red eye," and, okay, what if they are not used to "red eye," and then the first thing they see is a talking newspaper? [laughter] the idea was to move the talking paper later into the show, but then we just forgot about it. that's the funny thing about stuff is you forget. there's a lot of thing i'm supposed to do and i forget. he's somewhere in a closet

probably dying. [laughter] >> hi, i'm from japan, i love you. it's better than going to a george michaels concert. [cheers and applause] nyway -- >> wait, wait, nobody goes to the george michael concert for the concert, but they go for the after concert. >> can i get a backseat pass? [cheers and applause] anyway -- [laughter] >> there's about -- every time i'm about to say something, it's the reagan library. >> anyway, i'm a conservative working actress here? los angeles -- >> my con doll lenses. >> i'm surrounded by lefties, and it's hard to meet nice conservative men like yourself.

[laughter] i was wondering if you could start a dating website? [laughter] >> you know -- >> it's going to be a hit. >> i like the fact you brought up fluffy mcnuter because half -- who doesn't know what fluff my mcnuter is? that was a mascot i created on "red eye," this crazy fluffy thing, and this is what happens with tv, one producer said, you know, i don't understand this fluffy mcnuter thing. they took him away from him, like gunner, my son's half brother. they are starting conservative dating sites for this thing. >> i tried the one from hannit, and there's like two guys in california. >> really? [laughter] >> yeah. [applause] help me!

[laughter] >> i'll, you know, i'll send you some numbers. [laughter] all right? [applause] if one guy -- if one guy shows up looking like me in a disguise, and at a weird time of night -- >> [inaudible] >> we will never eat. [applause] >> hi, greg, first of all, thank you for the omage you give to andrew breitbart. we used to have a sense of humor, but every day there's a knot in our stomach, and we want to get over it. we heard ben speak to us, go after the media, and that's fine for him, he has that forum, but what can we do sitting here aping gone home?

thank you. >> well, i mean, who is to stop you from mocking them wherever you go? i mean, look, i'm lucky, i can say whatever i want. you can tell me what to say. basically, that's what people do. they find me and say, you have to say this. sometimes i say it. the whole thing is to have humor and know you're right. that's the thing. you always have to know that you're right and not be shaken by idiots. >> time for two more questions. right here. >> i was wondering if you could tell people, like myself, who have not allowed a liberal within a hundred miles of him -- [laughter] how you can possibly influence those people. >> wait. basically, the only way. it sounds arrogant, but i never

felt that left and right was a horizontal relationship. i felt that it was vertical, start there, and move there. it's not an original idea. what is a conservative? a liberal who has been mugged. i don't know who said that. it might have been william f. buckley, but it's the truth of it's true. when you have kids, you are mugged by your kids. you are mugged by taxes. that turns you into a liberal -- a conservative, and a liberal, i was saying this earlier to somebody that like a liberal can hold on to their ideas until it's their property, and then all the sudden it's like they are not sharing at all, and that's kind of the, i think that's the evolution. i do worry that, you know, we're becoming part of a society where we believe our government should be an all caring being. i believe the government should help those in need, but we're establishing the government

should help everybody. that scares me. we have to take that back and teach people that self-reliance and achievement is what matters. it's the only thing that makes you feel good. [applause] >> time for the last question, right back there. >> hello, greg. >> hi. >> i got a question if you've already started working on or have another idea for the next book actually? >> who told you to ask this question? [laughter] i told you to wait in the car. [laughter] you never listen, do you? [laughter] i don't know -- i told you not to let him in. i gave you a picture of him [laughter] yeah, i'm working on my next book. what is some of the stuff i talked about here about the cool is going to be what, i think, my book is going to be about. i think. i don't know yet. it would could be about fuzzy t. i really like fuzzy stuff.

slippers. cats. you think i'm done yet? >> no. [laughter] >> i could keep going with fuzzy stuff. i googled it this morning. there's 86 million fuzzy things. lint. [laughter] >> okay, while he continues to think of more, -- >> snowballs. [laughter] >> can i ask that everyone allow greg to get out this way -- >> gloves. [laughter] >> he's going to sign your books so before we give him a a round of applause, thank you, all, so much for coming. thank you. [applause] [cheers and applause]

>> here's a look at some books published this week: