find evidence of god and try to hang onto faith in the hard times and you are really joyous when you find high points for me which tend to be nature. they pull me closer to something defined. >> host: are you a christian today? >> guest: sometimes i'm troubled by the basics of the language. like when we say evangelical what do we mean? when we say conservative but do they mean? christian is the right term. i follow jesus as best i can. >> host: on your travels and in your search what did you find across america when it comes to establish religions, established christian religions and gay and whether or not that it's acceptable? >> guest: if you look at american history you find reactions across the entire spectrum. you find open hostility and you find great silent discomfort.

you find embrace. it really depends on where you look. the thing about all of this is though most of these people are trying their best to do what they think is right and i think the motive does matter in a lot of the situations. most people are trying to be loving even if it doesn't feel like love to some of the rest of us. >> host: can you give an example? >> guest: so the hardest example for people to accept from westborough baptist church in topeka kansas. when i went very very much wanted to dislike the church. they are so angry. it seems like they are so hateful and yet they tried to explain to me that what they are doing is out of love because they believe that they have been instructed to love their neighbor and how can you love your neighbor more than to tell them that they are going to hell but they have a chance to turn around so they believe what they are doing is a loving thing. that is really hard for the west

rest of us to accept and i don't expect everybody to accept that without skepticism but i think we have to at least take a moment to consider where they say they are coming from. >> host: jeff chu did you interview members of the phelps family and where you out to them? 's. >> guest: i spent four days in topeka having dinner with the phelps talking and worshiping with them in church going on protest with them because they really wanted to understand what life was like in that congregation. they were very open with me and i was open with with them as much as they wanted to know. it's pretty obvious on social media that i am gay. i didn't tell them straight out. they never asked. i assume that they knew that it was never an issue. it never really came up and i realized that it didn't matter because they believed everyone

in that church is going to hell anyway. what does it matter that i'm gay i'm going to hell anyway. >> host: jeff chu what did you find in a lot of the mainstream christian -- >> guest: much of the mainline christian from the presbyterians bickering over what to do about there to tom denomination other denominations struggling with this issue there is no one said of meaning. the general trend of course as with broader society is the church is moving in a more liberal direction but that's not going to happen without fights, fights within families and congregations and within denominations. >> host: did you visit with the catholic church as well? >> guest: i did not spend a lot of time focusing on the catholic church and here is what happens. as a reporter i write about the stories of people who are willing to talk to me and i

spent a lot of time trying to find a gay priest who was willing to open up. i think the price of that because i never was able to find one was that catholics are underrepresented in my book. the really funny thing about this is my husband is catholic and i never thought to ask him for his story until after the book went to press so that was kind of a fail on my part. >> host: jeff chu pairs of don nomination -- denomination called the so-called gay church. did you visit with them and what did you find? >> guest: i visited to congregations won in san francisco and one in las vegas. the beautiful thing about the mcc is it is a spiritual home for a lot of people who want still to hang onto church but don't feel comfortable in regular churches. it was founded by a guy who grew up and became a preacher and need some kind of an environment

like that for himself. it's been a gift for an immense number of christians. it wasn't really the community that i felt was for me. i personally don't want to go to a church that is just gay people. i want a church that reflects my community and i church in brooklyn is old and young gay and straight black white asian hispanic. we really are a cross-section of brooklyn and my neighborhood or can specifically probably within the overrepresented population of journalists but that was the kind of church whom i was looking for. i found strong christians in the mcc overly warm welcome. there's something beautiful about the way they serve communion where they embrace the person to whom they are serving communion. i really enjoyed it. i was critical of some elements of it but i tried to be honest as a reporter and his fares i

could be. >> host: what is your day job? >> guest: i am an editor at fast company magazine and the religion writer for beacon which is a new startup that seeks to try a new model in journalism beacon reader.com. >> host: so the answer to the question that you asked on the cover of your book does jesus really love may? what is your answer? >> guest: the answer is i think it depends on who you ask. every person is slightly different image of jesus called together by things he learned as a kid combat things you have read and no person has the same view of jesus spirituality and sexuality so it's just so diverse and so fun to explore but also very difficult because the issue is so emotionally charged. >> host: what is the edge of that question for yourself? >> guest: the answer most days has been my jesus does love me and my god's grace is big enough to handle the mistakes that i

have made. >> host: and those other days? >> guest: on those other days i look forward to the day after. >> host: jeff chu is the author of "does jesus really love me?" a gay christian's pilgrimage in search of god in america. does jesus really let me.com is the web site. mr. chu thank you for being on the c-span bus and spending a little time with us. >> guest: thank you so much. >> the visit booktv.org to watch any of the programs you see here on line. type the author book title in the search bar on the upper left side of the page and search.

up next stephen jiminez argues that they killing of matthew "the book of matt" on october 1998 was not a anti-hate crime but the result of a robbery gone wrong. this is about an hour. >> i'm not even sure i need this microphone but i will use it because this is being recorded for c-span and it's really a great pleasure to be here tonight. this is actually the first stop on it to her that now has about 30 cities and it just seems really appropriate in terms of of the gay history.

to come to the castro place which i have enjoyed in the past. what i would do is introduce the book by telling you a little bit of the history of how i got into writing what is now the book and then i thought i'm just going to read tree fully a couple of probably two or two and two and a half pages to give you a feeling for the voice of the book and a little bit about some of what you refer to their as the hidden secrets or entangled secrets. i went to laramie wyoming in early 2000 to write a screenplay for a made for television movie. might background his film and television i went there to write a made for television movie about the story that i believed at the time which was the basic hate crime story that matthew had been lured out of a bar in laramie wyoming because he was gay and he was fatally beaten

and tied to a fence. that was a story i believe. i spent -- when i went to laramie and february of 2000 at that time this was just a few months after aaron mckenney's trial which ended in early november of 1999. during the entire year that the case was going on all of the principle witnesses in the case of all of the principles in the case may forstmann and people who worked at the courthouse everyone that was involved was under a gag order so they could not talk about the case for a full year. there was also a court order to seal all the records in the case so the records were sealed also for that year. journalists who went to laramie once the crime happened and tt