as i am turning every few pages i am reminds of the strategic command has to be prepared to deal with this particular kind of problem and fulfill this kind of role and execute this responsibility. it is dozens of different s strategic functions that are not captured in military doctrine so i think we should take a look like yours and get it into the military doctrine so don't have to relearn this every time we do this in a foreign country, which as little as we would like it not to happen, it is bound to happen again and i hope we are better equipped so we can have the knowledge of how the counter

insurgency command worked so we can be in a better starting place the next time we do this thing. and it is reminder of the darned levers that a strategic commander like general petraeus has to pull. he oversees tactical operations and there is a detention command that is trying to count what general petraeus counter insurgency inside the wires. so no longer terrorist academy but you have using them to have n an effect on the battle field.

and on and on. the ability to synchronize all of them is a rare trait, i would say, in a strategic and operati operational leader. luckily we had two who could pull it off. a lot of the levers didn't exist early on in the war. and a lot of functional command were not present early in the war. so it is really only, i would argue, the later years of the tenure and command, general petraeus had to create his own levers to have the tools to address the complexity of the problem. could you pick the surge up from 2007-2008 and put it down some

other point in the war? could you have done in 2003 what was done in 2007? could you have done it earlier? could you have fully exploited the opportunity that might have existed in 2003-2006 in the way they were in 2007-2008. and there were precursors that were not present i would argue. first, there is a chance mt secretary of defense. rumsfeld and gates. and senior military leaders at the time would say the surge couldn't have taken place without that change. and secondly, one of the things you get in the pages of "surge"

or "the end game" is knowledge of iraq politics, society, culture, and ethnic groups. it shows you just how little we knew about iraq. that iraq was such a black box to us in 2003 when the invasion took place. it was a very hard learning process. it was one that we unfortunately had to pay for in blood between 2003-2006 just to get the knowledge so you know, for example, that abu is stepping into a major role and they fled from al qaeda pressure and are

in jordan now. would we have known that in 2003? the level of knowledge you had to gain to see where the seams were that you could exploit is extrao extrao extraordinary. in your opening chapter, when you describe what went before the surge, the major development that is missed, i think, in the campaign as it is plan forked in 2004-2006 -- planned -- is the ethno centric war. there is an insurgency problem and an incapacitated state is as a problem as well. so you have to build the state so they can handle the problem.

when you get to the point where you are helping to build the capacity of the government that is itself a party in an ethno se secretarian war you have to ask if your strategy is defeating itself and that is the point you get to at the end of 2006. and i think that is the major fact they are confronting and the pulling out the rug from the assumptions that underpin their campaign plan of 2004-2006. and one point you make is that general petraeus in 2007 codifies and expands to the entirety of his commands things that are peag learned by trial and error in places liin iraq.

and as one former senior coalition journal officer put it is the adaptability of the technical units in 2003-2006 was a process of buying time so the seniors could do the thinking they should have in the first place and the codifying they should have in the first place. third point, one take away from the book is that the nature of the problem that the iraqis are dealing with is a struggle for power and resources and i would add survival. to fill a vacuum that was

created when the regime disappeared. and they are deal wilderness generation the aftermath of complete state collapse. the disappearance and collapse of the iraq state is a cat in iraq that touches every iraqi. and the difficulties that a foreign army has in trying to restore order, stablealize an environment like this, a modern functioning state whose infrastructure disappears and is completely gone is something that is difficult to appreciate from outside iraq. but people in the ground can

understand what i am talking about. there were places in west baghdad in 2007, upper middleclass neighborhoods that were turned into the waste lands were separated and corded off by mound of trash and barbed wire that the resident themselves put in place and a post apocalyptic scene. i thought what would beverly hills look like if you turned off the power, removed the police, picked up no trash, and had no running water and that waw the situation for four years and that is what parts of baghdad and other cities looked like. that was the extent of the problem and it wasn't easy. i would also say, let me, to

drew another analogy about the unnecessary collapse of state in 2003, or the finishing it off, the iraq army disbraanded itsel would be like going to the empty pentagon and they were disbanned. you can order them back to work and that is what should have been gone. and i am not speaking on behalf of the united states army or the department of defense in any way. this is only my opinion. and lastly, to extrapolate from your book to the situation today, you give us the key to underi understanding the violence that is rocking iraq today.

the problems you describe or being tackled in the course of the surge and i am talking about the awakening and the sunnis splitting from al qaeda and the power sharing pack that takes place and insulation of iraq from terrorist sanctions in iran and the containing of the shiites military groups. all of those acts unravelled to create the situation that is standing today. if we were to continue on with the violence chart, we would see it creeping back up to probably back to 2006 in iraq. probably in the early part of 2006. so, you know, hopefully, some sort of forces will intervene to keep it from going where it was

at the end of 2006 because at a certain point it is corrosive and there is nothing to stop it. but you identified the things that need to be done to prevent that outcome and unfortunately the dynamics are moving in the opposite direction. >> that segways into how you ended the talk which is is it entirely fair to sort of blame the obama administration for the lack of the delta keep american forces in iraq. the negotiator made an effort to make it work but the iraq p parliament was a problem.

how would you address? >> i would say president bush personally got involved with s discussions on a weekly bases with the ambassador and theobam never did that. he give it to the vice president the iraqi's know the difference between a president and vice president. but if you backtrack before that, the reason we were not able to extend the sopa goes back to the election of 2010. a sofa allows troops to operate in a country. it was won by a shiites but was

running in a party that was supported by many sunnis. we told the sunnis to enter the election and they won the election. their voice wasn't heard. we didn't back the winner of the election. we didn't even give him an opportunity to try form a government. he might have failed. but we didn't allow the process to go to fruition. instead, we had malkey is the guy and we need to back him. and the equivalent of the smoke-filled rooms a deal with the party thsupported malky for another term. and the sunnis learned no matter

if we win at the box, it doesn't matter, because who is the next president is decided in washington and we are left out of the process. and this is why no one would support the extension of the united states force because what good were we? >> what was the reasoning? when i say our, i am saying the government. >> he believed he was the best hope for a stable iraq going forward. but i believe the best thing for the area is to have a system where law is respected. >> as rayburn indicated we are back to the situation with 2008 with 8,000 civilian deaths every year and the number could go up.

not to 35,000 probably but it is going to the wrong direction. what, if anything, can the united states do tamper that down? >> i don't think we should do anything. i wrote an op-ed that they need to stew in their own juices until they reverse the political decisions that suppressed the iraqis. until he does that and agrees to share power and stop persecuting sunnis politicians which he has done and until he allows protest against his government we should not help him with the problem of his own creation. >> how would assess the

strengths of al qaeda in iraq now? >> they are making a comeback but the tribes are not aligning with them like in 2006. the tribes know-nothing good comes prom from aligning with them. they are more on the sidelines of they are fighting for themselves. i don't think al qaeda will be able to create a save haven in western iraq. they position themselves so they can be combative with convent n conventional force. but the situation throughout iraq will spiral downward with car bop bombings and such until

you have the resolution among the elites that the best way forward is political not violent. >> and you were critical of the general who was sitting in tampa during the war. his concept is administered from several thousands of miles away. ...

then focusing with a four-star general and instead it was like kids playing soccer. and what we felt with the search is the of wider region with the suicide bombers with those arab countries. we had several command commanders. >> and from a diplomatic point of view spinet there was interagency that why is the commander in baghdad during that?e to

we don't have time to focus on the wider region so looking at what we we're doing and not enough emphasis. >> going to the major experience because it was too difficult to process vietnam's was the big one. we will never do that. how is the u.s. military this time of around windows hard lessons from your book? clearly there is an effort under way what is your assessment? you said they were to difficult to learn. there was the unwillingness to learn. with the normandy invasion

if we could do that then the army would be happy every half century. [laughter] we will have to fight the wars we have to fight. none of us wanted to long term counterinsurgency but it will be nice to be ready in case it does. as the army takes off the operational study of the iraq war the british army looks at the lessons of world war i over 14 years then produces a steady -- has a steady but that never produces then they cherry pick a couple of bottles sealed the rb the american

army does a pretty good job number one is the german army. for two years right after the end of the of war a and they create a tactical doctrine was to lee rooted at looking at the experience. with the military looking at the last war that are not ready for the next one thank you are able to look at the last one to get the right context and understand what went on to prepare yourself for much better for what they might face in the future will keep iraq and afghanistan.

if we ever have to do a counterinsurgency. >> tel you proceeded how did you go about it? >> what i really needed was a primary source documents from the national defense university of lot of it was requesting classification from the archive that thankfully the folks did in a timely manner. of course, i had my contacts and associates and published secondary sources i did not have to spend extended time archives somewhere because i already knew what i was

looking for. there was no archive time at all. >> to identify yourself and wait for the microphone. >> i retired army. on your opening slide with the overarching reasons for the assumptions going in are you being a little rough on drummer big easy on rumsfeld with the issue of the bath of vacation in dismantling of the iraqi army? having done a couple of tour with the pentagon it is inconceivable they were made in isolation from the leaders. >> that is a good question and another book yet to be written i will not hold my

breath and ambassador bremer he said i and the president's representative if he were to do something that was not right he could have said secretary rumsfeld said to disband the army it is the bad idea could greasy the discussion from the national security council and president bush says we should have discussed it with the national security council and we didn't and i take responsibility for that. al least he could have assessed what could have gone wrong. you might be right. we don't know but bremer in my view clearly did not push

back at all. >> research fellow at the national security program here. he never mentions of popular it -- population at the time after 2006 there was significant displacements and segregation of population separate from sectarian. i would argue that was one of the other variables because the populations were sold segregating themselves so moving on a fixed neighborhoods into city or share it -- should she get areas and i am not sure i disagree with the general argument i just wonder why you stick with such a model

causal story it is interesting without those other variables would it have been possible and why take was all of those others the awakening, the displacement, of violence reaching a saturation point had to have been there too had the effect that had. >> of the first one of the slide of sectarian violence the population displacement why was there so much as no sectarian violence and why did it continue? we went door to door at least in baghdad with this great new clarity is a lot

more mixing of the sect even before the surge is of clean separation of the population. that is not what the commanders on the ground were reporting. but there was a lot of mixing of the population. it was not segregation of the population but segregating baghdad and the biometrics is security checkpoints to stop militia to prey on the suny and likewise it is more difficult to reject the car bombs and suicide bombers. of the other point i don't think i had no mono causal

explanation. that the surge transplanted to a different time or place so i never make the claim it was the way to go before 2006. i fully acknowledge that they came into play indoor extremely important. that catalyst would bring them to fruition. i don't think iraq is in a better place. i think after the surgeon would have broke up the country. >> was it a follow-up signal but to say we are staying?

>> absolutely. the psychological impact we're not withdrawing they take their cue off what the president of united states is saying. then that meant something. that meant something to the iraqi political leaders there was no indication that obama was all in. the portfolio was turned over. >>. >> with september 10, a 2007 tell us the atmosphere. that was an important hearing of the road war two

era. >> it was tense, as a real, "the new york times" with the character and personality that he was the mouthpiece for the white house, was the high stakes and i thought general petraeus and the ambassador handled themselves marvelously considering the amount of pressure and scrutiny. but there was a move faja with a withdrawal time line on the administration. when those hearings were over i knew the way that they had gone they had squashed that.

not to create a political dynamic that is the outcome of his forthright testimony was happening on the ground. is said you just bought us six more months. it's true. i retired from the marine corps as well a couple of comments. that we used extend several torch to for the army the second saying is that general schumacher with the

introduction of the brigade modules is an amazing transformation that made them work together. i was fairly impressed by that. but the fact you could have those units from the different parts of the united states and europe with one focus was a significant achievement and that was a great job to do that. >> what would you say to the state department? says part of the baghdad prt that was not funded. so with the effort of lack of funding and support of the state department i recognize that is not their

job. if not for the fact without funding and other money you could not have done any kind of work at all. so that they had significant resources what would you say to the state department role of the warfare how you could use it for military programs? >> it is sort of true that we wanted the civilians as well as the military surge. we needed the capacity civilians could bring one of the things done effectively that they feted the reconstruction teams so with

that capability with the brigade area helps with the reconstruction aspects. we did not get as many civilians i am not sure how to do this better with the u.s. agencies for international development and was much larger than it is today. it was a force. but i don't see that happening.

because with the resources of that regard but anyway. [inaudible] but there was a more of a focus.

>> with the policy? >> could we have picked better people? >> i have a common devil asked later but the question is did you revise counterparts today what what about the lessons that you have applied?

>> from george mason university i appreciate what you are trying to do and the importance. but the problems of policy making the other is a planning problem. could you talk about the role of your organizations so come from the outset we know there was more in the '90s that did a pretty good job to anticipate those problems and secondly with the planning process itself. >> from the retired state

department i want to ask about president bush and his commitment to south korea and obama and the vietnam. to maintain 60 or 70 year occupation. is there a parallel strategic rationale for this 60 or 70 year old occupation of iraq? >> we will be kept -- began with the theory to have gone more smoothly we did not have the right people in charge in 2003 but we also didn't have the right organization. with an organization to

conduct a theater responsibility and not until the spring of 2004 side by side it was too much for any one person to handle with of budding insurgency you could have the best person you could imagine. but in terms of ambassador crocker in 2003 could things have gone better? possibly. in my view that is a better analogy but donald rumsfeld

will not allow him all lots of leeway with the previous question indicated that secretary rumsfeld wanted the army to we disbanded. that is the vision that they had i not sure but we don't know. but the lesson is political. part of what iraq is facing today to get over the political impasse to bring

in all sectors and ethnicity is with the political wait for word to counteract those a aspects it would be easy but with specific tactics and apache helicopters and hellfire missiles you can poke away all day long at the terrorist but not until the root causes are addressed in that advice has to go to the top unfortunately. >> and it? >> it is interesting people would say they would give them a piece of their mind but i have not studied the run up to the war but with all the have read the military broad in the

weapons from secretary rumsfeld. there were plans of the shelf at centcom but was under different commander. he was o.k. so the military did give their best advice but the bigger issue is how can we train and educate our leaders to give better advice? this goes to the professional military education system that counts with the officer's career as a way station. >> final south korea and iraq.

>> will give you a specific reason the middle east has a lot of oil and will for decades to come we all love creed energy but to we depended on hydrocarbon it will continue to matter to become the new saudi arabia senate thank you very much. [applause] >> you are willing to sign books?

[applause]

allow me to express my profound regret for being late to interview ran late then the fun experience travelling on the beltway that babies more stressful because you are not allowed to carry a weapon. [laughter] as mentioned i am also a veteran and before i get started by want to take a brief moment to thank you for coming. i appreciate you taking the time to get out before we are inundated with snow to have fun before we get started and it to all the troops and veterans in the room, welcome home, and to all the military families, thank you for your service as well. i enlisted in 2000 although i knew i read the fine print that the army went to war if did not seem like a possibility.

i was assigned arabic and studying and at the defense language institute online 11 and was immediately apparent why military career would be profoundly different and no longer a question whether or not i would go to war but when and where. i was with the initial invasion of iraq part of the 101st airborne division in aerosol cans after spending time in baghdad without as a woman soldier i surely would not have needed them. we pushed farther north and eventually i was put on the listening post on the side of the mountain the only female soldier with seven male soldiers and remove to the other side later maybe 20 or 30 men i was the only female soldier for several months so relative

isolation. then i met a tall handsome nco in charge of the observation post they were proud to call themselves fire support team i thought he was funny and handsome, witty, a sarcastic, smart, but iraq is not romantic we could not start dating or go clubbing so any sorts of flirtation was very gruff and not sent at all the gentle romantic flirtations you may imagine at home. one night on the side of the mountain i confess i wanted to get to know him better if he said there was plenty of time later but not too much launder his convoy was hit one of the first really

coordinated attack sell later came to be known as the insurgency but we just wondered what the hell was going on. shrapnel injured below the kevlar on the right side of his head and exited the we are here is a right i. for three days we were told to do not expect him to survive you was medically evacuated luckily to baghdad where he had narrow surgery as chance would have it the same one that operated on bob woodward's then was evacuated to germany then back to walter reed. i stayed in iraq and completed my mission and heard from brian a few months later with an e-mail that was full of the typos and punctuation and and spelling errors that people

slip into a so i let it go. he is just being lazy and did not have any sense of a traumatic brain injury and when he said the looks like i will be okay eyes to that at face value. these were the early days of some of war. that we would not think then but they were. the systems and services of the returning wounded warriors needed were not in place. when he recovered to a point that as the doctors told him he could walk in and talking and by his own ass he was released and sent back to fort campbell. he got there two weeks before the rest of the division and we started dating. why a plane landed february february 8th such just over one decade ago and

there were signs then i'm sure of his cognitive and psychological problems but i was pretty distracted by my own reintegration and did not necessarily notice them and we were busy partying and drunk and staying up all night with one block leave so with that heavier the time when we were just thrilled to be alive and getting drunk a lot did not notice what was coming. we were deeply and emotionally involved. then i started to go back to work and had to get up bright and early to go do my job and training soldiers to get ready to redeploy in brian's unit told him to stay home. he was still early enough in the recovery that he was not allowed to wear head gear where the shunt would enter

he still had to get is head shaved by specially trained people and his the gse severe enough he cannot carry a weapon and with his ptsd you get us special piece of paper so on his profile it says you cannot carry a weapon and. his leadership said you cannot wear head gear or carry a weapon and you were freaking out the new guys because you are a disaster so stay home. this is not the army that i knew they'd have to a show of for accountability so i was surprised nobody was checking up on him. as the loss is the identity as the leader of soldiers his job, his place and questioning his ability to have a future, he spiralled deeper and deeper into

depression, ptsd and everything fell apart. he was not cognitively able to pay his bills or take care of himself for manage his own life and trying to self medicate the profound psychological pain he was feeling with whatever was handy. that did not work but it took a long time for him to figure that out. somehow i stuck with him through this people ask me how and i have to be honest i am still not sure but with a lot of patience and commitment and love we stayed together, got married , he did heal and we have been able to forge a new life together. i tell that story in this book colada of the early

reviews focus on the fact i am very honest about the worst parts of that recovery. some of the terms people are freaking out because they focus on my honesty of those bad stages it is a story of hope and healing and recovery and a love it is a love story about how my husband came back from profound injury profound institutional injury and deep physiological cognitive wounds to be the man he is today, a loving husband and father to start using his gi bill benefits to go back to college this semester that is an exciting new adventure. the messages that i really appointed to get out that i am convinced anyone who

reads this book will live sort is the effects are not broken. this is taking root in the popular media narrative that they are unemployed homicidal homeless better screwed up and for many veterans although not all the process of reintegration of healing can be difficult. with proper services and support it can happen and there is a new normal weekend the contributing members of society invaluable editions and fantastic employees higher as. we are fantastic. the other message i want to share is care givers are not

saints. i have this sense that people believe those of us who choose to stand by wounded warriors that we are perfect and do no wrong see and lovingly by a our men or women and that is not true. i did not always do a good job. i got a angry and you're not supposed to get eight free at a hero or lose your temper as someone who was blown up serving his country but i am human being. i have a lot of those feelings i am not always proud of a and i did not always handle things well. one time when i was really, really increase at how badly he was managing our lives together, and missing appointments and could not keep track of anything and things were awful. i did not have the ability

to say that to him i am afraid i can never have children because you are so screwed up. i could not tell him those things i was really a angry about so one day he was holding the refrigerator door open taking what he wanted to each. open and open and open and i lost it and started to kick him in the shin why he hates to the environment. that makes sense for grubb was not even pregnant. [laughter] to be honest i am the person although i did stick with him as a difficult times, i am not a saint i did not mail a cross to myself that i have my own foibles. also to make sure there are resources out there to help. if you are a loved one that is struggling you can call

the veterans crisis line 24 hours a day. if your spouse is struggling with ptsd and becomes blind in -- violin called the domestic violence hotline should not suffer in silence or a loan and if you look for a way to serve veterans in your local community use the national resources directory of mine -- online if you are a military family member look up to lose our families online to see the wonderful resources they help to have military families. i am not supposed to talk for too long to give you the opportunity to ask questions or have tried to make a lot of ways available to connect with me and the book and my story follow me on twitter, of facebook, my

website, look me up on teesixteen here's the play list so you can hear the music was listening to as this was going on. i am happy to open for questions let me warn you if you do not ask questions my a book club can tell you i am good at talking i will continue to run off with things that interest me. [applause] so please ask some questions arrival start reading from the book. somebody is coming. [laughter] >> i don't even know how

long i talked. trying to squeeze 30 minutes into however fast i can talk. >> i am a reader of said "doonesbury" comic strip did he ever contact you? i keep thinking about it while you are talking. it is about characters that did what you did. >> i love his trip as well. he has done a great job to bring his sexual assaults in the military which is a topic people don't want to talk about a and a character with a traumatic brain injury as well. we were in touch with my first book so i sent him a copy of the new one last week so i hope he enjoys that. thank you.

>> i just want to say first of all, i read your first book that an important time of my life and it motivated me to get off my but into scenes with the world. think you. also you said things about the idea of the veterans been broken. i will confess as a civilian i know there is a civilian military / 12 bridges in a way but not in day patronizing way even though accidentally. so what this should we know? how do we bridge the divide? >> it is a tough question that people are struggling with. i read a great piece the other day that the author said civilians, quit saying you can understand because

we go to movies and we read books about things that are totally outside of our current understanding all the time. ancient history, space aliens, we put our minds into situations we cannot connect with on a regular basis. when you talk to a fad -- a veteran i cannot imagine imagine, that increases the divide. try to imagine and put yourself there, read books, of logs, the there are a lot of choices out there a growing number of voices and try to connect with what people are saying. there is some exciting fiction being written as well. when you have friends in the military who are veterans, be willing to listen don't ask them if they ever killed anyone that is considered tacky in the military community but let

them know you are willing to listen and one of the things i encourage people to do in those situations, a lot of vets struggling with ptsd they have a hard time with site contacts but sitting around and drinking is the bad coping mechanism so instead of saying. >> guest: did have a beer save you want to go for a hike or other activity where somebody can walk with you to share the story without the pressure of having to stare directly at your eyes to have the temptation to over indulge with alcohol. >> thank you for writing your book and talking to us. i was in the kentucky at the time the war started in and talking to people from fort

campbell. some of the things that we wrote about her they were the worst case examples of the military not doing a good enough job for mental health treatment to those that needed it. but has that changed at all? i am thinking of fort bragg or where people came back they were afraid to use the kelp because they are blacklisted. has that changed? >> i think a lot of progress was made. my husband was injured 2003 and when i was reading the book by a track down his neurosurgeon and narrow psychiatrist or psychologist, one of the other providers and asked and i asked what happened? how did this happen? how did he slips through

the? he said fort campbell was one of the worst places to go in the early days. 40 be a and bright and one of the things that was really helpful as part of our recovery was to call attention to the gaps of the services that we sought to tell our story with the attempt to make things better for troops after us. and as part of a larger community with other veterans working together for positive change. things have changed bryan was set back to his artillery battery he should have been sent at a minimum to a medical but then there was a warrior transition in your net specifically decided -- designed for

wounded warriors in those who knew how to let them navigate the system with a medical evaluation board process more smoothly. maybe it has not worked as well as planned but they've made a lot of efforts to improve. it is an ongoing struggle to convince troops and veterans it is okay to seek help. part of that is military ease those when you grow up in a culture that tells you sucked it up and drive on pain is weakness leaving the body, plenty of time to sleep when you are dead, it is hard to put that aside to say i cannot do this by myself and i need help. the institutional military is trying to send a message that people should seek help but it doesn't always get through every level and the

impression i get is some groups face bigger challenges than others. i came from military intelligence out of concern not because they didn't want to learn clearance but now you don't have to have psychological help for combat related trauma. i just redid my paperwork it is true he don't have to report that i have been led to believe of pilots seek mental health care cannot fly that is a huge barrier for them to seek help but that is not my career field but that is what i have heard. certain groups may have bigger challenges to seeking help. the will need more senior leaders willing to stand up to say i sought help we have a few examples and we need more. anwr veterans and troops willing to say here is what i did that helped me to get

better. part of the reason i told our story and other friends parts of campaigns to say here is however a struggling here is how i am doing better to know there are multiple avenues. fed is the other message. if you bought toothpaste and hated the flavor you would not give up on brushing your teeth forever you could buy a new brand so if you try therapy and you don't stick with your therapist don't give up on mental health care try a new therapist. it can take awhile to find somebody you click with the and it can be challenging to find a good environment is the v.a. medical center is now working there are a lot of avenues to see kelp and one of them will work for you.

you can find a new normal prayer not just with ptsd but post traumatic gross. i firmly believe it is only because i saw horrible things and experienced than i am able to appreciate how privilege we are in america fully as i do. i am more connected to my fellow humans because i have seen them at their worst. it has given me a better capacity to appreciate them that their best. >> i have a question. talk about the process of reading the book he describes so vividly with a lot of dialogue events that

were clearly painful over a decade. were you keep being notes or have a photographic memory? >> i have always ben day journaler writing journal entry santa paulsen when i decided to write this book i interviewed people i was not on the bus when brian got hurt and i interviewed people who were on the bus to get their sense because his memories are a little spotty of that event. he interviewed other friends and family members that were there with us because based on what i have read human memory is fallible. eyewitness testimony is a tory is lee sketchy so rather than assuming i have a perfect memory of past decades i interviewed people to get their perception to

check it against my own to use so the combination of my own memories, what i wrote at the time and interviews to make sure i had an accurate picture as possible >> will come back. >> could you compare and contrast with brian. you we're doing it at the same time with two different experiences with transition and healing i imagine some things that were the same and what was different weird day could use support and that he could not provide support to you? they are a to parallel process. >> i feel like he needs to be here to answer that accurately. a good question.

i struggled with things that he did not experience. being invisible as a woman veteran. people would ask me if i was allowed to carry a gun and people ask me if i was in the infantry that is not authorized still although they are in the process of changing that. when we would go out to to the bar people would give the guys a free round of the unemployed get free beers they would look like men but women we don't meet that typical image is why did not get the free beer. [laughter] so that sense to be invisible is recognized native harder even with the other fat so was the only woman in the room people would assume i was just a spouse as if they don't go through plenty of their own but they would not assume

automatically that i was a veteran. once i was walking my dog in the park with a german shepherd to was hit by a car and lost a leg. an old man said was city teetwo? [laughter] do you mean teetwo? and more people have assumed my dog is a combat veteran than me. there is something messed up but he did not have to deal with that it was easier for him to come home to have people looking at him and know he was a veteran and win his hair is short to know he is a wounded veteran in the very beginning people would ask if he was driving

his dad's car people did not know but pretty quickly he was visible as a veteran and a wounded warrior if he kept his haircut short. but for me my eighth symptoms of it ptsd which is about six months that is normal when you are in a combat zone to be hyper vigilant and alert to possible danger ready to respond with the media violence and threats and it is the adaptable response keeping you alive is a good faith to be but when you come back and you drive on the bill way it is no longer adaptive to kill somebody who cuts you off in traffic is now adaptive. taiz a word with their pastrami so if you can dial

that down the fiber response back to normal levels within six months that is totally normal to take time to come back to see even keel. i still have some symptoms but i never developed ptsd and never kicked into that but it did with bright and he had the addition with the higher the fall of trauma he did develop ptsd also struggle with losing his career and cognitive function, questioning he was if he could ever be able to succeed in the world again. he turned to alcohol a lot as a coping mechanism and the alcohol abuse was a very

negative aspect of his recovery. the way that i could see it later was every bad thing build on every other bad thing with that negative downward spiral with the ptsd he could not sleep that hurts kovno to function function, that made him more depressed which made him a drink more which made us fight more and is spiraled and we had to find ways to return that the other direction leader but it to a camelot launder they add me. both the physical and psychological and cognitive. it was actually six years before he could read a book cover to cover again. at walter reed one of the case managers said it has been more than 18 months you will not see further gains.

. .

the downside, the put side is that we but that the internal injunction against seeking help. sometimes wonder one of us had been a civilian if it would have when eased -- of the civilian might have cracked earlier and said, like, no, no. we have to go ask for help. we can't do this. in the book that think away our parallel roads to recovery. but it would be interesting to lay out a time line and see how that works. that will beat a thing to do. the other weird part of it was that one of my coping mechanisms became to be hyper controlling. like i will manage every aspect of our lives. everything will be completely perfectly organized and every moment in time. that was my way of handling the fact that things were in total crisis. and when he got better if.

to let him grow and for me to the step back. had this feeling like i was holding a cat's cradle. by let go one to read everything will fall apart and it was really, really difficult for me a throwaway, let's go and realize that in fact the world will not burn down a fine not personally responsible for. i don't know if that was helpful. >> yes. >> first, thanks for your service. but i just wanted to go back to the process and the challenges, writing this book about ptsd and reliving those old experiences and writing about reliving experiences while also sort of having to actually relive as you write. and the challenges of writing this book and sort of having to again face a lot of the same,

you know, memories and experiences. >> yeah. so i had a really good outline before i got started. it probably sounds like a weird place to begin, but i have a really solid outline and i actually knew what chapters a one. and if i could not handle something i would just put it aside and work at different chapter for a while and then circle back to it. there were definitely things that were so large that i could not engage with them right away. i would have to move on and address a different topic and then circle back later time. so that's really how i did it. and i have -- my first book came out so soon after i was in the military and so soon after i got back that i have not processed anything. i was still -- i have no empathy for the really crappy leader i had. was this matter from being

crappy. at no empathy for where she was a leader in a situation. and with this book a window of laundered. waited until it was further along his recovery and i had developed this face and emotional depth to look at the arc of his recovery. i try to do it in the middle of it would have been a disaster. i would have been man are not able to see it. i needed a have the distance in time and emotional and mental space to be able to see the full arc of his -- of our journey together and to have -- really just therapy and cope with things a lot more before engaging with it. i'm really glad that i waited before trying to write this one. >> how did having kids change or

impact all recovery process for you individually and together? >> so i -- there were a lot of years when i thought we could never have kids because the ptsd symptoms could be really bad. that's not, there is no way that i could in good conscience pricked in newborn into house where somebody has fits of race like this. we waited until he was doing really well and then finally we were like, okay, now things are good. now we can try. and then having kids ended up being more challenging than i thought it would be because i waited until i was the laundry on. but sometimes i wonder. if i were really wealthy i would fund a study on this because i think it will be a cool thing for somebody to research, but i read -- everybody pretty much knows that when women are pregnant and when they give birth and women and nursing their brains kick out tons of

oxytocin, bonding chemical that makes them like babies and not drown them very often. but apparently when men live with their partners and are exposed to the newborn's their brains to. it reduces the amount of testosterone in the brain in a totally kicks of the amount of oxytocin in the brain. for me ryan had always had a flat and affectless. he added tendency to have a cold look on his face a lot. and once we had kids that changed. like when you would look at his son, you know, his face would light up. he was warm and interactive. i don't know if that's brain chemistry or partly just that -- new ones don't judge you. like a dull, humans, we judge each other. even if we love one another there's still -- it's not a pure love the way that it is for

children. and it felt like being around our kids as babies let him feel soft again, let him feel nurturing and loving in a way that has been closed off to him and a lot of ways. he added daughter from his first marriage, but that was more fraud. i think that would be fun. some other way. i think that it really helped his recovery. al to meet reconnect with feeling tender because i worked really hard to feel tough and having children reconnected me to those feelings and feeling a greater degree of empathy, and it also made me feel more and with the tort families.

i have no empathy for army wives. some of them have the sticker on their cars. i wanted to keep their cars. nobody shoots to you. i cannot sympathize with you. once i had kids to my husband goes out of town overnight and it sucks to restock. i was like a macho, that would be hard. also like brian's parents, if i develop a lot more into the for brian's mom what it must of been like for her to have her son go war and in the wounded. i can't imagine what it's like to see a child away. >> thank you. >> thank you for coming. given voice to the minority. do you have any advice for any would-be riders that there --

veterans, military females of want to start getting into this type? >> well, the best advice you can give is a right to my right as much as you can all the time, carry around a book and write whenever you have the opportunity because there are an effort virginities to sit down. there is an organization called the veterans writing project. and you can -- depending on where you are the help facilitate. hope you get a group of other writers, veteran writers and teach you how to share your riding with each other and evaluate. you can form a community where you can share your writing an essay space and help develop aircraft the way. there is anything i wish i had done is to do something like that senate. >> thank you. good luck.

>> your manicure looks awesome by the way. >> thank you. what comes across in the book is his injury and prognosis and eventual recovery is someone owner of. from the doctors a seems like he kept hearing he should not have survived. he should not be making the games. look at this. can you believe this guy is walking and talking. you also say in the book you don't really know what the future will hold for your family i was just wondering what your thoughts are on where brian might be in a decade. >> so it is true. when the neurosurgeon thought that brian would never be functionally independent, that he would never be able to take care of themselves cannot doubt that he might never walk again, might be consigned to a wheelchair. never want to be interesting

patient. brian is an interesting patient. the doctors would call and other doctors and the like look at him. look, he walks and talks so that solo freakish and weird. made it tougher in some ways because when brian six help, you know, are there any services to help me get further cognitive gains the response to gets is pretty much you should be happy. you're lucky to be alive and your elected to the will to do anything. why you want to do even better? just be happy with what you are. and there are a lot of rehabilitative services for people who are very high functioning. that's a gap that i don't know how anybody can bridge yet. this is not a lot of research on a. as for what the future holds the right now things are good.

we, you know, i have very high hopes that the next two decades will be good. if he can keep this ptsd well-managed, if you cannot drink too much the next two decades will be great. beyond that i don't know. the prognosis is not great for people with traumatic brain injury. the chances of people who have experienced developing early onset dementia are very high. that is something that we will always have to be concerned about, be aware of. we don't know if the ptsd could return. i talked to vietnam vets whose symptoms recurred developed. exposure to a new trigger there is still shrapnel as brain. they don't close all miscall.

pretty well protected, but you know, that is still, you know, liberal weak spot. so long term future, 30, 40 years i have no idea. might not be the best prognosis, but in going to the stay hopeful and hope that with all the high numbers of people that have come back with a drag brain injuries there will be more research and you can learn more and maybe that dod or v-8 will develop treatment that can help save off things like to mention. >> other questions show we wrap up? we have time for a least one more. we have time for one more if anybody has any questions.

yes, sir. >> problems of women and. they seem to have been pretty well neglected over a long time for my read a newspaper. could you elaborate on any of your experiences, whenever you know along that line. >> of the gentleman had a question about the specific challenges that women face a military. so a lot of the challenges that i faced when we first invaded iraq, but then not being getaways for women to your name with any amount of privacy on long convoys. some of those challenges of been overcome. there's something called the fed . the urinary device which is part of the army logistics' chain that allows women to be standing up with a little device that can

stick and. so little things like that is probably great. there were women who were modest enough that they would not drink enough water and in the urinary tract infections. the fact of women can get that which apparently anybody who's done a lot of camping is already familiar with. some of those problems of already been addressed. work to address them. women are integrated into the close combat arms unit, those personnel may need additional training. those are out there. a lot of the problems that women face in the military are not exclusive to women but disproportionately affect women the most well-known example is sexual assault in the military. women experience sexual assault of much higher rates than men. but because women are such a

small minority in the military the wrong numbers of those who experience sexual harassment or assault in the military may be roughly equivalent between men and women. so again, that's a problem that disproportionately but not exclusively affects women. and the military is struggling as hard as college campuses are right now the figure out what to do with that and how to make a dent in it, how to encourage reporting, increase rates of successful prosecution and drive down obviously the initial incidents of sexual assault and sexual harassment as well. it is kind of a $64 million question. the military draws its members from society and we see with the rate case for example this is not a problem that is exclusive to the military.

but i do find it concerning that if you compare rates of non sexual assault, murder, other violent crimes within the military to those in the comparable civilian population rates of other crimes in the military are much lower. just a very small fraction. the rate of sexual assaults is sustained, it still says the something is wrong, something is not working at the rate of that particular has not been driven down. if i knew how to do that dress mayor would. i would hope that in the long run opening closed comment on jobs and jens would drive down rates of sexual-harassment and assault. women will no longer be lesser. when they're able to do all forms of military service :

nobody will be able to up say some of the things that i heard. why would you report sexual-harassment. what do you expect when you run -- join a man's army. huffily when troops are equal that will improve. research from other women's equality increases there can be a temporary short-term by then sexual assault. something that we need to be aware of. just kind of be forewarned about if we start to see that we should not say oh, god, pull the plug. i am confident that the military, the army in particular is working very hard to set the stage for a smooth and successful integration of women to close jobs in units.

they're working very hard to drive down the rates of sexual-harassment and assault. hopefully the military and universities can learn from each other is a problem that we see much more widely than just the military. thank you. [applause] and thank you all once again for coming. i hope you will of course by the book. remember, when you get to some of the worst parts this is a story of hope, healing, recovery command love. on that note happy almost valentine's day. [applause] >> please help us sell to cover staff.

[inaudible conversations].

>> them that -- the next 20 minutes, give you an overview of two things relative to afghanistan and the first is what is the nature of the war. the second is what is the strategy. the nature of the war i base on i have about ten years now on battlefields and my iraq in afghanistan. as barbara said generals are cayenne secretaries of defense and presidents may have rolls, but they better keep their egos and the control. tolstoy and is but war and peace really had it right. what actually happens as much

more to do with the tenacity of those the fighting and it does with the pronouncements from on high. i'll try to show you why. i would like to just bring you through very quickly of, how the strategy is imbedded in it. old pro. and just about to go back to my tent trip, ten trips of the last four years the army platoons, the marine platoon the special forces and associated afghan units if iraq -- at the top of afghanistan do. unfortunate we have been pushed out of there. this is your afghanistan. the other half of my time i

spent down in the south. this is where the talent and began there attack. this is entirely different. this is a little view that is extraordinarily similar, the trend of vietnam. now 90% of the fighting takes place between those two axes along the pakistan border. the rest is not as well involved this issue is an issue of the costumes. the tribe which is along the border and also on the pakistan site accounts for about 90 percent of the taliban and 90 percent of the insurgency. this is the famous valley, the movie.

i certainly hope it's going to win the oscar. i was teasing him. they're on their way out. it would not take you too long if i said to you why don't we just take a drive down that road all the tribes are on friendly in there up on the hillsides. you would all immediately say to me, that's not your smartest idea. for four years we attempted to get the valley under control. we couldn't because we cannot close with the enemy in the mountains. all of our troops are wearing 80 pounds of armor. the enemy is not wearing in the armor. and so there is no way you can never catch a lot of those mountains. when you think of the war in the north and so long distance war, for instance there were being

shot at what took this picture from where the smokers and the other side. looks like that's only 600 meters away. if you really were in good shape you can get there in about seven hours it's a lot of long-distance shooting the kindle on forever. this is the famous -- i took this picture. you notice that there is this particular four right here. that was the tell a man for it. there were moving in every night to the border. there were coming over and taking meals and burning ammunition down and shooting. he said to me, we will go up along the border. but they like one of those on some of a bitch is will shoot at us. he does than i can shoot back. we stood there and looked at them. all they did was way back to los

this is of vast sanctuary called pakistan and extends for 1500 miles. they drove every night up that road and then unloaded their ammo. so the other side -- the other is, pakistan. now the essence of what we're doing, we went in in 2001. the taliban have supported al qaeda to it killed 3,000 americans of the world trade center in my judgment several things happened. had this religious beliefs and liberty for people. at think he can't use that.

he took that and extracted it and said we should give liberty also to the iraqis and the afghans which is a noble idea. put an idea into action. we were not able quite to do it. when they looked around and say is going to do this idea they said well, the united states military. what happened was that the subject and about. we perverted and we turned it into nation-building. that social contract was that the united states of america would give to the people money and as much security as we could money we give about $14 billion

a year. in return we expected them to turn against the taliban. all we want to do was tell us to among them was the taliban. since everyone is wearing civilian clothes and we don't speak postern we have no idea who among you is about to shoot me. if you help me in point out the mafia is among you all take care of them for you. he had something called tribal loyalty. look at this picture. this is a place called god's ago that was 500 meters outside of the united states battalion base. for four years the italians rotated through the basin tried to say what do you want?

we will help you. occasionally sniper shots. there were never able to persuade the people. so about a year-and-a-half ago the american battalion commander who was really kind spirited set out common and help the. as we were driving in hear the kids. they're about 12, 13 years of age coming out on the road as fast as we were going in like the size of those rocks. the low. and it ended up in a big ambush that the tribe said. and during the ambush aid afghan soldiers were killed. i hope this in man. as representative to see looks corporal dakota meyer i hope, pushing very hard that he should get the medal of honor.

when everybody fell apart it was corporal meyer it came to the floor. when his commander choked and did not know what to do because yet to fire from every place, he took over the entire battle. extricated the other americans will really gets me more than anything else was the treasury that was unexplainable. just unexplainable, came out of nowhere what we know? for four years we've been here trying to be nice. we went into town. won't give the name of the town. notice the person with the blue arrow. for reasons i won't give in to combine just a journalist. sometimes i here out there with

them you can't help but to know the sources. the company commander knew that that was the man and the one that of this group. what he did was he just randomly put people as though was a random search. he had killed some of the people in the town who had driven over the. the killed a couple of americans certainly blown up a few of the american vehicles. so we add the night there he reached in this pocket and took goddess cellphone. slipped to the guy next to him was lifted to the next guy. none of them knew that of course he was watching this whole thing . what got to me was that man

didn't know those others. i mean, the odds of him knowing when you just the people of random we were very low. they'll cooperate with them right away. and that of william bennett, that gadgets killed some of you. this is a picture of the left. they're very polite enemies. there would smile you. ben never smile at you. they try to avoid talking you except when they need medical supplies. you can stand among them. they just look at you except when it won a medical supplies. there would come up once a week to get their medical supplies. you know the rule, 15 minutes. then we start shooting again. i thought, this is bizarre. here's the same man shot for next week attacking before in

another village. he had on the bandanna with all the markings. we want to be politically correct answer religion has nothing to do with anything in were all circular. that's just exactly wrong the islamic religion has a chance that very quickly becomes islamist. before they attack you they're all saying a lot bar. they do have leaders who sincerely believe in being as honest. some of the really hard court. they make terrific fliers. can you tell when you talk to somebody. no way. so what you have is a situation

in my judgment where the people are watching. we have confused to things. in america i see the people as the price but not the means of winning the war. and our doctrine is to say if we protect the people it will come over to our side and reject the taliban and therefore be the means of winning the war. you believe one of the other. i am gradually come to this conclusion, that's wrong. you have to win first in income over. this is one of my favorite stories a wonderful man he went to this one village in the middle of nowhere.

you couldn't try this to find this village of the try. we sat down and began i conversations. at the boston red sox had on. that's the world series champion must be pretty good. does your play for them? at that i can get away with this who's gonna know. eight to six, 75. then the talk to the others. were you giggling and? and he said because they're used to a cricket. now he knows why year sold. do such a terrible player and a

good sense of humor. he gave a list that was going to cost about $25,000. every single as can't -- afghan as a list. here's my list. where's my money. mortgages tough. we just had a fire fight and issue one guy. you as a favor and tell the taliban and a stay at ethier so we'll have to do that anymore. elected a man said, well, how can we do that? and i thought down south you get into an entirely different situation. you have the right of your round the media of these rivers a cut right your afghanistan.

as a result you have these planes that are terrific for growing anything on either side. the score of engineers built thousands of canals down and. and as a result it is highly for tile. looks just like vietnam as the same kind of bush that you can hide in. it's called the green zone. in also is where 90 percent of the aryan -- heroin and opium in the world come from. down there the fighting is inverse. not trusting his neighbor, over centuries also about this thick. a tank cannot go rosewall's

issued a you and not going to do that much damage, and that's the nature of the fighting. that was just down there the last two weeks ago this is one of the flights. there were flags everywhere. as the marines move forward they brought there flags with them. i thought, well, i'm back in the 15th century. a turnaround. the marines a carrying there flanks. it gradually pushing against them, pushing against the. and then i thought, why am i surprised by this it be that i realize why. the british and spent four years, four years. they have believed in this when the hot seat -- hearts and minds the marines came in.

by the way you can't go any more than 200 yards outside the district the marine said what? so even after four years it's been $60 million change nothing. now good news before bad news. good news. no way terror skin when afghanistan. just can't happen. i never thought i would see the day that i was praising the air force up that there really helped, but all that is gone now. we live in a world that never see is an instrument so far from of the united states and it's one of the reasons i don't think we need as many troops. here's an adviser is a great

young man. and matt is looking through a tiny low scope it will be looking at this. this is what he's seeing. that is a white shroud. one of these cyber suggested that tell a man about a kilometer away. an aircraft is up to 29,000 feet in taking a picture of the whole thing. sending it down his looking at the picture. wherever we go, when i was on these other patrols on we were out there, the first in the sergeant said was where's my air and every single company now, most of them have bumps. there are blends tethered to the company positions by about 5,000 feet. but they have a camera is just like you're watching th