.. >> the. >> [applause] i am delighted to the conversation with cora daniels one of our finest speakers and journalistic started there. if you read any of her

pieces she has extraordinary reporting but those a little deeper and "impolite convesations" is no exception and she keeps getting stronger and stronger as her message gets more pungent and exciting. so we will talk about the book the first i'd like to introduce cora daniels. herb biography could go on and on back to where you are bored. [laughter] and i do need my reading glasses. korea daniels -- cora daniels editor at working

mother magazine it currently contributes a regularly to essence magazine. [applause] turning into the land of the shameless with critical acclaim but her first book from "the washington post" is from book reviews and her latest work is "impolite convesations" on race, politics, sex, money, and religion" the book is on us hot-button issues but are rarely heard in public

"impolite convesations" is like having a furrow seat to share this most impassioned opinion in challenges "the reader" that they might not typically talk about to of meaningful conversations against race or class. regardless if readers agree or disagree it is a book they want to share their next dinner party so ladies and gentlemen, i present to you cora daniels. [cheers and applause] it is so funny she has this book "impolite convesations" she is one of the most polite people. [laughter] but was telling us by the way the we're so glad that you did. [laughter]

from the october issue going back-and-forth and there were so many versions that when you wrote the line let's pray for sexually active disorder. you could hear a pin drop. [laughter] so please give the context for that. it is not a raven's simone saying african-american but that is a hot button issue and explain the context. >> figure for coming.

as any part of healthy relationship in terms of if you think about great sex as respect for yourself and your partner so why would we want to teach that to your daughter's? so if we don't teach our daughters about respecting themselves they will never have a healthy relationship at this time my daughter is only eight years old but if i imagine having a conversation with her know. i can say that because the imam is not in the room at the moment but i do think about every day i am raising a future woman. so i do think the day that

she should never be ashamed of what she wants to do try with her partner or never feels pressured to do things with her partner and then she would want to explore. and should not feel ashamed or embarrassed that is part of being a healthy adults woman to have a healthy partnership of quality and if you think about enjoying sex, it should be a mind and body and soul. period. >> host: that is a great icebreaker.

[laughter] >> there is a co-author. >> correct. my co-author is now with the deed of school of social policy. and we have remained friends since high school and we talk about things. and we talk about stuff. we are in the age where everyone wants to engage in conversation ever betty was to be a part of the of a conversation so for them to

get outside their comfort zone from class lines to challenge people to talk about things they may not talk about because getting into that space you can become stagnant then the safety net becomes stagnant because then we talk amongst ourselves and we all shout to the same people. so we decided to see what people are talking about to have a real conversation that would push different buttons in for me as a

journalist front and center in the first person beyond what i usually do as a journalist that is what we were hoping to get people to move beyond that stagnant place. >> host: we will talk over the next with five minutes then you can have an opportunity to ask some questions and she will have signed copies of the book. but talk about the structure of the book in this particular topic and i didn't make the cut. >> guest: read divided the

book upwelling is your boss of the stock at a dinner party sex politics raised religion but what we did not want that i write about sexually active daughters it is not like day counterpoint it is not he said zero or she said. we each road individual essays within the topics because we tried to mirror a conversation where we start one place with vibrators but at the end we ended a much different place and we try to have that flow but we don't know where that will lead that is the best kind of conversation. >> host: in those

magazines it was jarring to meet when in the marketplace with so many cultural and social markers that no one has done this before in this way. and there are many revelations but not surprising as we hear them. you almost have to be a member of the nation of islam to me that freely in public but then when you go to work to have a conversation although you don't touch on this in the book as making it conversations on race wrong because he often fear the

topic because i think of the review of how to get away with murder but then we can talk about the book in detail. >> guest: two lot need to take all of that? [laughter] >> host: one of the challenges people looking at the review is where people focus on first. it lead to that incident response where i neddies her

academic level. >> guest: writes tickets to a level of conversation that we are used to. [laughter] you can have a whole universe of what people were talking about that everybody just comments without going through the original sow on that one might guess is maybe not everybody read the story but they have all heard that line. this very dangerous when we get to the point because

that is the level of conversation. if nobody ever starts at the beginning you just react to everybody else's reactions. that is the level of dialogue that we have at the moment now. just to bring this to a completely different realm last week we had the stuff with the secret service. we're is this culture we don't want to speak up. but that is what happens if you're in a culture in the environment where nobody speaks up. , but you have to be in a society where people are not afraid to speak but at that moment and everybody does the same thing nobody is

listening. if you really wants to have creativity and creative thought and innovation with they cannot be afraid that folks will shoot you down because it is unpopular. >> but in the book from the point of view that in terms of media. but it is a monologue that is extreme on the other end.

but then there are the people like the 52nd delay of language selling which is five seconds behind or they hate me. but then it becomes about that reaction of the actual conversation. >> guest: is a funny we have one section about race and originally that is how the book opens then we decide we have to put that lasted three start with that nobody will read it. [laughter] but i think race definitely

needs to be a conversation for those that don't know what to say. folks are passive like a previous generations fight and struggle now we are at an age it is not taken seriously and we are beyond that. read joke about big brother that they will say something completely racist mind we get to a point in society that you can disrespect a group of people then chase it is completely

mind-boggling that we are at that point that we enter this world but i don't think we're at that point any more because we are so beyond where we really are there is no shame if you just put the lol after it then it is fine. our race was always where america is not a black-white country there are shades of brown even the diversity of blackness from all different households with that discussion about race instead one side yelling at the other side and what i have been one months thinking recently going off on a tangent, about

segregation within new york city. the most segregated school system in the country. people don't talk about it. closer academic journals about how new york state is the most segregated public school system in the country and the fact that no one is talking about it then it is a bigger story does not surprise me but the fact that people are not talking about it is the bigger point. one because it is easier to sustain into actually care or to challenge yourself. >> host: talking about these conversations talk

about the take away mean and with her whole intellectual side to talk about the emperor. >> guest: n then we say the n word. so just put that out there. we talk about that because to use the n word witches just as bad as using the word itself. but then i'd go see what is the difference by partying the letter a at the end it

should not be so easy if you given a nickname then you just back like that is a polite conversation. otherwise you go through school and every one manages to have the pc conversation so why can't we manage to use that word when we intend to discuss the word not their race or the history of that word rather than that? it should be easy. >> host: but those who use the word don't have a sense of the history of the word and the layered intellect to understand that.

to have a sense of freedom that their ad of level of oppression. or impoverished or do a different spin on poverty. that is just my thought. going to politics, as several years ago congresswoman maxine waters the members of the congressional black caucus were deemed critical for the jobs program. and i believe they would kickoff in minnesota. shimkus standing before a group of people and the naacp member in the midwest

said the congressional black caucus we support the president. because unemployment is double or triple because maxine waters takes no prisoners bet -- but that is raising the issue. looking at those comments again and again with because she had the president talk about the intellect of the conversation. >> guest: and the politics section we'll was trying to

bring out was happy and proud to bring my children with me as reelect the first black president at the end of the day i don't care. the second and third and fourth is much more important the danger when everyone is so excited with the first is we get complacent we have complacency was black or white because the whole purpose of opening the door is to keep open. that is where we should be now. one to see that network as a nation that we have opened the door one to change the

face of what a president can be so are we now quiet to dash those to walk through the door? but i think john is even bolder how he talks about having a black president however makes though whites whiter. >> host: are you on

twitter? [laughter] okay. [laughter] i do have a twitter account but i think i have done five tweets. >> host: you will get a lot. but any sitting president he is still evolving and say president. i had no idea about the politics but i was extremely clumsy of a drive to shoot them to say oh my gosh.

i could see myself to be connected to someone is the alcoholic. i had no idea. but if it ever evolves with policy i don't believe the coverage of all, has been unfair. depending on who you are. you know, how people set with a first black president a thing she tried to lead by example and let the audience

responds to is the example when there are images to be such a loving father because he let his mother in a lot in the house so who would have thought? and if he felt under attack people are sensitive when he is attacked. and no one understands the political affiliation or the of political belief but to talk about any thoughts you had when you took up politics?

that was a long question. [laughter] >> i think with any book i am a black author not that there is anything wrong with of black book but that should not mean writing for a larger audience so it was very important but you have to engage that conversation but to do something with

politics with and not the obvious things that conversation we have all the time i know it seems with old school they're not the flashiest and i think there is a lot of complications within those that you are allowed to question within your own community than you should it is your obligation period. matter who they are. >> host: what was a last

line? >> guest: the question? >> raise your hand if you ask questions at church. you do? >> [inaudible] >> host: you went to him directly? but not in church? speesix. >> [inaudible] >> host: another show of hands to ask questions and church.

>>. >> host: okay. this is a great question. to get the book and read the book cora daniels just walk the audience through the religion. especially as it relates to

the african-american church. >> trying to differentiate between hope and how there is different lovell's of faith even if you are not in the church on saturday or sunday. and if we truly have its but if it is not what goes on in our communities but on no wider scale we're completely open in. it is silly thing they would allow. but our hope it is the only

way to be so hopeless. >> host: to have that in polite conversation that is spiritual but not religious? >> i think so. i joke that i did not go to sunday school growing up our parents are different religions. my dad was methodist my mom was jewish. my dad was religious my monitor is not so we were raised in a christian household but my dad never took us to church that did not mean our house was not religious. the first time they ate dinner it was in college and i thought and away go to

help. the only thing my dad gave me was the bible on a computer and no money just of bible. [laughter] so i was raised in a household face was important but also you should respect everyone's own individual things so it is completely intertwined. i don't understand or get the conversations were people point figures because you were not living your life. >> and leading by example.

>> also interesting story he was seventh day adventist. it is a christian household but not the typical black christian household going to church on saturday there was a long list of things that he could not do. there were a list of things that he could not do so coming from and conventional background. >> host: there is the experience the african-american community is held together by the church with the institution

and of politics critical to the abolitionist movement and the naacp that some have argued with the greater opportunities it does not have to remain a community for economic mobility but if you choose to do this thing with the computer you can still communicate with your mom or dad or granma. those who could do their offering but i guess the

programs in the church with a huge mega church. but not if you are relying on the. [laughter] but there was that sense of hope. it is very thought-provoking from the reporting and the history of that context but from someone who with spiritual, that is one of the things that i grew up

because of hotdogs were awful. that the religious sect's bank said the african-american community from that first election 2008 for the first time the african-american church goers refused to listen to the pastures because since 2007 there were so many and the parishioners said no. but this is what i decided to do so there is an evolution there can i get that eight men at? [laughter] but the money part.

how much money is in your atm? [laughter] money, race, and the mobility no one wants to talk about it. >> guest: it is a sham you are born into the cast and don't move up. >> host: there are reports of african-american females with the education attainment and african-americans and women having the highest turnout so you hear the numbers i they real?

>> guest: right. yes there are two kinds of mobility. the mobility we have more money than you did in a previous generation so we have more money than we did 10 or 20 years ago but that is not enough because everyone moves at the same pace. so they don't make the distinction that is what people really want the we are still stuck in the same cast system and that division is much larger

between the top and the bottom. and it is embarrassing on of global and worldscale they have more economic ability than we do. there are these depressing numbers if you are born on the bottom newsday on the bottom trying to get into the race ended so dysfunctional it is not just race but color so it is not just black folks are at the bottom and that needs to be set on the record that it is

not just your race but within the race and there are studies that actually studied the effects of color and it is the example of how we are so superficial. >> host: but talk about reading the book he made the case very strongly but i am very cautious to look at an example eyelet get the most successful television person of all time oprah winfrey or bill cosby he does not look in terms of a the poverty.

the looking at the trailblazer with extraordinary ways. that the color prevented them from doing anything. more about poverty overall but it would be natural. but i assessed the breakthroughs or the non breakthroughs with a fascinating book out right now, of book about basically

about money. [laughter] is a fascinating study looking at the generation and the eighth generation of wealth probably around the late 17 hundreds and you talk about competing with eight generations. i go up in a working-class environment. even applying for the lunch program they would wrap the envelope with so much paper

there were so secretive then we would pass away as we'll do i remember the policies that you will get $25,000. they're not getting anything but i'm getting $25,000. this seems so selfish but where is it? [laughter] there is no money there. >> so what about culturally? talk about that. >> guest: i can one up you when my dad passed away there was not even a bank account there was still money in a box under the bet.

i think al lovell of distrust is deeply entwined that we as parents feel is better not to talk uncomfortable things if you are struggling by definition so we don't talk about our children honestly. starting when your children are five years old seige did teach some. so we can talk about the savings accounts.

not that we cannot afford it but why? it is 1999 and maumee only has $25 we need to get milk and bread and juice. with $0.50 a way and you build up your own mistakes. >> host: do you talk about money? >> i do. it is necessary. [laughter] my children are eight and turned six yesterday. the talk about the cost of things and i always try to tell them i will not buy it because it is not worth spending money on that.

is a different conversation i cannot afford that but it is a waste of money. my daughter is like really? rigo to the bookstore. i will buy books but not nonsense books so we talk about the value of money to save their money and my husband and i always talk about we can go on this vacation because we worked hard and saved our many this is our reward. we should not be embarrassed about showing our kids that life is hard and do work for it i don't understand the concept you want your kids to be happy that doesn't mean everything has to be easy. if we constantly shield the

next generation from the work that went into it so then we get to the point that we can sit around that we are the ones who did not pass on those so we are upset that we have to take responsibility and take blame for that. but i guess the conversation starts in one place than you and another. >> host: how much time for questions and answers? >>. >> please state your name. as much as i love a comment

and a manifesto. you can be in polite to pull the way. but here we have insightful questions. >> what are you trying to achieve? >> m1 to the folks to talk about difficult topics sometimes it is suggested different way to think and

you are more innovative and creative that is why we tried to move out of a stagnant space to change what the conversation is. >> host: how many of you remember when it was released? do you remember that? we'll get up. and with her mid-20s to ask questions about american manhood from that social

media i'm sorry does anyone have another question? >> i have the question how when you have a conversation you try to encourage people to think about these topics in a different way. what you suggest and when they start to shut down when you challenge them and don't necessarily understand. >> is very disrespectfully

alaska question mark patrick and i would talk about the n word and nigger it is important to respect not everyone in the row will agree with you just in case you have the conversation does not mean you are a dictator of thought. so exactly what a conversation is we do not agree on everything in life. that doesn't mean we are still not friends. but to attack his profession and to my family on the very first level but injuring a the conversation with

respect if people actually listening like a lost art form but it is amazing you can have a conversation and try even the art someone who's disagrees with you because usually it is i disagree so i will shout this is what i think. even asking each other a question for a better understanding for that level is a start to.

we were hoping to push people into not be afraid so that is like putting out there. >> a more critical response to the book has been good i that that was a great review getting people talking. any other questions? just like questioning at church. [laughter] >> my question is at what moment in your life did you realize you were being too polite? on what you say and why?

>> actually it was my kids. when you have children they don't have a sensor button they say things all the time. then they ask questions about body control you're walking down the street and you cringe so realize they may have had had that level of boldness it would be nice to have that with grown-up topics with important things not just the stuff that my kids comment on. i started thinking about the need for more cantor and the importance of cantor --

candor if we get to creativity and innovation and in turn it just took awhile. children are lot more work than books but they will stick with you for a while that we have not been thinking about these things for a while and i wanted to do essays because they are a lost art at the moment and that was our twitter back in the day that is how people went after conversation and

there would comment back so i really want ted to explore and i thought it was important to engage with someone else normally it is monologue or 100 million people all on one topic so there is no cohesiveness so that how we say it is the two of us for that conversation to put it out there. >> host: thank-you. final question? >> i am a little late. how long did it take to write the book and what inspired you?

>> guest: the writing of it coming a bit short version is about two years but i have spent thinking about the book much longer than that. that he was to really want to talk honestly on the topics. . .

>> i just wanted to know if you foresaw the book used in an educational setting, high school students, college students, would you haven't educational guide to go with it like a discussion guide? >> well, i think it definitely would be able to be used in an educational setting. at the moment that is something that we could definitely put together rather easily. i think for a classroom, you know, when i think about teaching, i always about challenging your assumptions and pushing people and i think the best kind of teaching is a discussion to get to that

uncomfortable place. and that reading an essay that jumped off that discussion, it is the advantage of having a book that has so many different essays on so many different topics. and you just need one to start out. and so in terms of this, often we think that -- i think that kids are a lot tougher than we give them credit for. and that they can actually talk about things that, you know, we think are not polite. so maybe you just changed the language in that discussion, you're still having that discussion and that same discussion. so if we are talking about race and politics and sex, yes, you can have that discussion with an 8-year-old, a 16-year-old, and a 20-year-old come 8-year-old come

it's going to be different language that you have because you're talking with an 8-year-old. on that level, i think that it can use that in any setting. >> so corps as books, "impolite conversations", you have the final word and the final thought. we've had an incredible evening. you will have the opportunity to meet her in just a moment. >> i just want to thank everyone for coming. hopefully we have pushed you out of your comfort zone, and we are entering an era where we embrace candor. >> i'm looking at it backwards but here we are at hue-man bookstore, thank you for coming out on this chilly monday.

it's much more that we ever could've hoped for. have a great rest of your evening. thank you very much. [applause] >> booktv is on twitter. follow us to get publishing news, scheduling updates and author updates and to talk with authors during our live program. twitter.com/booktv. >> in the book "the invisible front", yochi dreazen talks about two brother brothers who died while serving with the arm. he compares the reaction of the army to the two deaths and discusses the efforts made by the brothers parents. to bring awareness to this dramatic stress disorder in military suicides. mr. yochi dreazen is in conversation with major garrett