why did she say that i wonder, did i look like the type to have boys in my dorm room? i was a good girl still a much to my chagrin. thank you i said as i turned walks back to the hallway and onto the streets. these black people look different from any that i had ever seen or met. they moved with authority and were well dressed. i had worn my best outfit on the plain of black-and-white jumper and patent leather mary jane's and i felt confident almost as if i were wearing rags. all the girls were beautiful, polished. if my old high school i ended up being one of only a handful of attractive smart black girls. everyone was beautiful smart and well spoken. cars were honking and maneuvering to find a place to unload. my things on the curb for becoming a nuisance. excuse me sir can you please help me take my trunk up the stairs?

he was somebody else's father. i'd i'd watch him as he unloaded his daughter's luggage upstairs and he looked happy to do it. yes i can do it, is it's all yours? i nodded and hope that he would not change his mind. he was already sweating profusely and his white t-shirt clung to his chest. he grabbed a long trunk by the handles on each of the sides and carried it up to the elevator. he returned to my suitcase. thank you i said i was grateful for his help. i took the elevator to the fourth floor and one ferret dragged myself out of a elevator to my room. there was a room on one side of the communal bathroom on the other. peaked into the bathroom. my dismay of the gym in the locker room at my old high school. the mirrors were hazy and the brown's house were cold. maybe if i put some pictures up and make this homey i thought. my room is no difference. it looked like an orphanage. it was tight with only room for

it at a desk and a chair. switch on the air conditioner and made noise noise and began to hum. i move my hand over the fence make sure is pushing out cold air. it was hot. hearing voices i want to the hallway and poked my head into the room next to mine to the people in the room turned their attention to me. hi i'm melanie and this is my dad. the girl with the long hair said. her accent was thick, southern preacher reached a hand out and i shake it. my name is nicole i said i'm from los angeles california. i had a new name. i wasn't chautauqua and it's ever been. i'd also never met anyone quite name chautauqua. nicole was my middle name and it would be my name from here on out. it's on the professional, easy to say. nice to meet you she said i'm from holly springs mississippi. where the hell was that i wondered but i didn't dare ask. did you come by yourself?

i took the red eye last night and i had a layover in phoenix. everyone the plane was so nice to me. my mother couldn't come. she had to work. i tried to her range and focus on my travels. go came up from behind. the tight hallway was becoming congested. excuse me, can we get why she said. she introduced herself. my name is jade. i live in the room at the end of the hall and this is my mother. jade was from new york and they were heading to the door in the common area where the bags were. i repeated my new name. i admit colin i'm from los angeles. they tried to match the parents and they could. a few more minutes of small talk return to my room and began to unpack. i unloaded my suitcase and put my pom-poms from high school on my desk. before i left for the airport. rummage through some of my own things that my mother's house and decided to take them. everyone loves cheerleaders than i could hide behind the façade

and watch your leaders are supposed to be, happy. pampered and without worries. nearly the exact opposite of my life at that point. i was done, i packed my bag in less than an hour and walk to the end of the hallway to jade's room and a deep conversation about which things are mom would have to take back with her because they could not fit in the bread sized dorm room. return to my room and plopped down on the bed. no television or radio picked to pass the time before lunch i looked into the conversations through the paperthin walls. did you see that little girl from california? she is here all by herself. it sounded like jade talking to her mother. i know she said, that's so sad. although i couldn't see her i was almost certain she was shaking her head. she felt sorry for me. i drowned out the rest of the conversation. i focused on my bed spread and bought back the tears.

i didn't want anybody to pass by not me crying today that they're working hard to convince myself that i was going to be okay. to them i was a little girl from california without parents to help her unpack. to me i was the girl who made it [applause] [applause] [applause] >> thank you nicole for that beautiful reading. may we all continue to be sustained. thank you all for joining us and again the call will meet you on the lobby for further