to grow up with both of her grandfathers, men who adored me. i would spend whole saturdays with him. ..

. >> behind the wheel of the airplane on the other side of my devastated body i waited for the rapid shooting to stop and then said my access contrition praying for forgiveness for go i had to use whatever energy i had left to finish that prayer before the lights went out. but the lights did not go out and i slowly began to take stock of my situation. twenty-eight years old and i was about to die. my life would never be when i imagined i would never get married or gently pass

surrounded by loved ones. instead my story was coming to an end on a dusty runway in the jungle thousands of miles from my home. i know it's possible to articulate hard urgently aware you become of the fleeting nature of existence when you are confronted of the end. i laid there what felt like a in trinity with the encroaching darkness of my final thoughts i saw my 87 year old grandmother the matriarch of my family all i could think of was i will not make grandma live through my funeral. not if i can help it. i couldn't bear the vision of her sitting in front of my casket. if not for my reverence for her i don't believe i would be alive today.

she encouraged me to summon my will to move heavily i dragged my shattered body neither my doctors nor i could explain how i managed it i pulled myself up by my feet stumbling around to take shelter in the baggage compartment. i survived. survival against those type of odds makes every day that follows swell with a renewed sense of purpose but not for everybody with hindsight i can see that my baptism by fire guided me into the life i was meant to live one of public service purple one that would ignite the courage and one that would have a visual appreciation for each new day that sentiment was barred from

my thoughts at the time truth be told it would been far easier to close the box on guyana a long time ago or push it away to the recesses of my mind but what happened in that jungle was a massacre. a nightmare all the way survived something within me would die on that airstrip. my innocence or my belief that natural fairness of life that i cannot deny how that nightmare molded my perspective and how it has informed the woman i am today. we don't get to choose those formative moments very often adversity and fairness is issued more permanently than fortune and success that has been the case of my life the major setbacks i have endured have actually propelled me onward each one reminding me how important it is to stand up again as difficult as it

may be stronger and more steadfast. pain yields action and can introduce to those voices who are not heard surviving jonestown to focus my energy to convince me i had a purpose all i had to do was figure out how to fulfill it. so to fast-forward to my term in congress, and what happened i actually ran for congress and then spent six years on the board of supervisors than eight years on the state legislature and ran for lieutenant governor of california that lost then for

the late congressman but he was not running for reelection i decided to run for congress but 29 years but chapter ten expecting the unexpected catapulted to a whole new level january 2017 when donald trump was sworn in as president of united states right after the inauguration i hosted a reception at the capital mobilizing hundreds of women, many of whom were from my congressional district in the fight to ratify the equal rights amendment and to make women's rights a priority in the 115th congress that commitment of 24 simple words to make it illegal to discriminate against those based on sex was proposed to congress without adoption since 1923.

most people are shocked in an interview given by supreme court justice antonin scalia he proposed outrage by saying certainly the constitution did not have discrimination based on sex but whether it prohibits it. it doesn't. he was correct. the issue is if it prohibits it. and at the inauguration that seemed the perfect day to send a message to the republicans in congress that to the administration and the american people we would not be treated as a second-class citizen also with the century's worth to be rolled back even 1 inch too much of the nation shock it was a critical year to come together and aggressively address discrimination in all silent

forms it was the tipping point where the outraged women were fed up and determined to take matters into our own hands somewhere exhilarating affirmations from the women's march that took place across the world and one of the most heartening political uprisings i have ever witnessed i've been in politics most of my life with a sea of a remarkable change feminism was practically a dirty word when i was a little girl i had been fighting for laws my entire adult life sometimes i had to settle for incremental reforms rationalizing half was better than nothing other times they stuck my high heels in the sand and they drew a line and forced to wait for more an optimal time to act in 2014 i tried to pass the sexual harassment prevention training in congress the chairman did

not allow it to be debated i went to the compliance office for proper outreach but that money was removed there was no willing enforcement and then i left those sessions so deflated but giving up was never an option or a consideration. so this causes raising two privacy laws there are a few that i never tired of cheapening light to prioritize my first pamphlet as the county supervisor candidate. chief among them that the campaign once advised me with the best of intentions not to be so focused on women that it would only alienate men. but i responded and still believe if women don't do it who will?

if a woman avoids taking on the cause of women who do we expect to affect change? should we leave it to men to fight for our equal pay? as a woman i am a minority in the house the most diverse congress every elected we still only make 20 percent of the represented it is now 23 percent but more than half the population of the united states only the 217th woman out of 12000 members to serve the house the history of our country of 289 women have served and that is about to change it is no surprise i have a huge responsibility to protect women in their daughters and granddaughters but when it comes to issues like sexual assault within the military or college campuses or in the workplace or on the hill. the abuse of power has always

felt a deeply personal. i know i am far from alone to have experienced sexual abuse and i dealt with that as a child in the memory of feeling vulnerable and confused and disgraced has shaped me irrevocably. is too often the case i was abused by a family member. in my case it was my grandfather. astonishing how many children are sexually abused in their homes often it is the uncle or the step parent or the cousin more prevalent than we will ever come into existence my own recollection is fuzzy because i was quite young and it is out of my memories but i do remember i would stay with my grandparents when i was six or seven and take naps with my grandfather in the bedroom they had a german duvet so it was nice and cozy he would

fondle me and put his hands inside of me and put my leg up against his penis. i knew it was happening was not right but i had no idea what to do about it so i did nothing i don't remember how many times it happened probably five or six nasa don't know nicely when or how the behavior stopped - - i also don't know precisely when or how the behavior stopped. but under a layer of shame that kept resurfacing i did not know where i should turn i could not tell grandma as much as she loved me she was also a devoted wife eventually i told my mom i was 12 years old i

remember feeling terrified if she would not believe me or blame me i didn't have the self possession to know if i had done something wrong but instead of anger her face crumbled in the expression of english she didn't respond but didn't need to she felt crushed for not protecting me i doubt that my grandmother ever found out or if my mom told my dad but as far as i know she kept it to herself at that time families stayed silent so i learned to compartmentalize that is why my coping mechanisms that have kept the hardships i have faced from overtaking me but it isn't always the most useful method some things do not stay filed away molestation was one of them even now when i go to the cemetery my parents are buried in the same area i take

flowers for dad and mom and grandma i don't even look at my grandfather's grave site but victims are accused of making it up or exaggerating or made them to feel their trauma is a secret to burden them alone but we need to do better i think mine for dealing sexual assault says we believe you i believe you we will make sure that this doesn't happen again. okay. so now i would love to answer questions you may have about the book.

>> could you talk how you came to terms with your experience in jonestown? have you gone back? what did you go through to overcome that trauma to go back with media from time to time but i never really wanted to. but in terms of coping with it, it took a very long time what i endured were many over ten i was hospitalized for ten months one - - two months but it took years to recover and maybe decades emotionally.

. >> thank you for the reading. and then going through what you did with your grandfather and then jonestown i'm sure this feels overwhelming when people share their story. >> 14 years after guyana, i

was challenged once again this time much more difficult and far worse. after jonestown, i came to terms with the problem by saying to myself everyone is given their fair share of grief and mine came early in my life. but 14 years later when my husband was killed in an automobile accident by a young driver who had no brakes and ran a red light was beyond description. i was pregnant with our second child, a high risk pregnancy, and i was driving to sacramento to give a speech to the bankers association when i got the phone call we turned around and drove back

which started an unbelievable journey to try and cope because i had a five and a half -year-old son in kindergarten that i had to get from school that day to bring them to the hospital to say goodbye to his dad then pull the plug which is probably the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. that is one of a number of the stories in the book that if you as a basis as the kinds of coping - - coping mechanisms i use in my life family friends and faith and it's very important for all of us to reach out and ask for what we need when we are traumatized people are there for us but they just don't know what to do. >> thank you for your story.

so with that cold thinking and mentality and with those republican events for the democrats so i was at new hampshire at the time at the trump rally and when i was there i said this doesn't feel normal like a normal republican rally and it felt very much like a colt this doesn't feel like normal partisan politics. so i am just wondering so to do a talk that has let that to become a colt in a way so with

your experience at georgetown and your life experiences have shaped your view who trump is despite from that but adding from your experience quick. >> that's the first time this question has been posed to me i might add in those parallels of individuals who are charismatic and can compel an audience to listen and follow them and certainly as jones did and president trump did in his campaign and even now is telling certainly. i don't know i would go as far to say that trump supporters are a part of a colt but certainly they have coalesced

into an entity that acts irrespective of the fact on issues. i don't know how much of that is shaped by cable news if you only listen to one station then you only get one perspective but with jones, he also played one - - preyed on vulnerable people there was a whole universe of people that became attracted to the people's temple that were down and out and disassociated with family and forlorn and looking for a father image or that family and it was clearly that

environment for them and another group was interested in the people's temple they saw that as the utopia we could not show that blacks and whites could live happily together in a commune setting in a socialist way to put all resources together to turn over all of our earthly belongings and live that utopian life. jones was a foster he was a man who twisted truth he lied and conducted sexual violence against people, men and women he used physical abuse he beat down the children or the things that they cherished the

mind control was sinister was shocking and unbelievable but yet through all those forms of abuse and by isolating them was able to do all of that 911 people lost their lives in that jungle it wasn't suicide. it was murder. those people did not want to take their lives. . >> i am curious when you identify jonestown but how that was so different from the people who lost their lives it depends on how you situate

yourself with those people who escape door with family members were those who lost their lives there but how do you associate yourself with those people? you met with families and also in hindsight looking back were people acting suspicious that we should have noticed? . >> in answer to the first question, over the years i have engaged actually he was successful to bring some of the defectors out with us and they were able to survive and move on with their lives but many had difficult lives with the trauma associated that they survived when others did not. and many were broken and that

what was imposed upon many of them by jones and the second question what was interesting at the time i was very careful about going on this trip i was in the process of purchasing a condominium in virginia and i literally signed a contract that it was null and void if i did not survive the trip to guyana. i did that because i thought if anything happened i didn't want my bear on - - my parents to be saddled with a piece of property 3000 miles away. this was 1978 there were not many women in legislative positions in congress. i feel if i did not go a staff

member from the committee was going but somehow that would set women back. i made the trip i told the congressman i was very concerned about her safety and he said come on we have nothing to worry about from his perspective never has and member of congress ever been assassinated abroad. he was the only one but it was also a situation where we were duped in part by the state department they gave us the impression that everything was great down there the people were very healthy even though defectors had left and told those stories to the embassy officials in georgetown guyana

they still have this message that there was no reason for us to go down there at all. i still point a finger at the lack of duty to protect by the state department for those american citizens. >> thank you for coming. [applause] . >> thank you for coming. [applause]

. >> then to have a complete dust one - - disconnect they have abnormal dna but they produce protein and energy. but if you have a virus and can mass-produce.

>> jeffrey ingold director of southern methodist university will discuss his book when the world came new with george h.w. bush and the end of the cold war.