you are watching booktv on c-span2. every weekend we bring you author talks and interviews from around the country. for complete television schedule, visit booktv.org. >> your good. welcome everyone to kramer books. thank you so much for coming. i would like to welcome congresswoman jackie speier to kramer books. she is california's congresswoman and -- concluded in politico 50 list transforming american politics. "undaunted: surviving jonestown, summoning courage, and fighting back" is a fearless voice against injustice and inequality.

thank you so much for coming here. enjoy! >> thank you. [applause] thank you all for coming out tonight. this my very first reading. so we will get through this together. [laughter] one way or the other. i thought i would start off by reading what probably brought many of you here. which is the jonestown experience. then little bit more from the last chapter, which actually, discloses something deep in my life history. that has formed a great deal of what i have done with my life. and in between those, lots of remarkable and not so remarkable things about that show how i am today. we can talk about jonestown and we can talk about the

washington experience and how we make laws and it is very much like making sausage. and go from there! i will start with the prologue. i was dying. it was just a matter of time. lying behind a wheel of the airplane, bleeding out of the right side of my devastated body, i waited for the rapid shooting to stop. then sigma act of contrition, praying for forgiveness. i use what little energy i had left to finish the prayer before the lights went out. but the lights didn't go out. and i slowly began to take stock of my situation. i was 28 years old. and i was about to die. my life would never be the one i'd imagined. i would never get married or become the mother of a boy and a girl. her lead -- leave the world a

better place. gently pass when it was my time to go surrounded by loved ones. instead, my story was coming to an end on a gusty runway in the humid guyanese jungle, thousands of miles from my home. i do not know if it is possible to articulate how urgently aware you become of the fleeting nature of your existence when you are confronted with the end. i lay there for what felt like an eternity. somehow, through the encroaching darkness of my final thoughts, i saw my 87-year-old grandmother, emma. the tough, marvelous, matriarch of my family. all i could think of was, i'm not going to make grandma lived through my funeral. not if i can help it. i couldn't bear the vision of her sitting in front of my casket suffering. if not for my reverence for her, i do not believe i would be alive today. she encouraged me to summon my will to move.

breathing heavily, i drag my shattered body away from the wheel. neither my doctors nor i could explain how i physically managed it. given my state. but i pulled myself up by my feet and i stumbled around to take shelter in the baggage compartment. i survived. survival against unfathomable odds can make every day that follows, swell with a renewed sense of purpose. not immediately and not for everybody. but with hindsight of 40 years, i see that my baptism by gunfire guided me into the life i was meant to live. one of public service. one that would ignite the courage to make my voice heard. and when that would carry with it, a visual appreciation for each new day. that sentiment was far from my desperate thoughts at the time. truth be told, it would have been far easier to enclose the

box on guyana long ago. or to push the memory away to the recesses of my mind. what happened in that jungle, was a massacre. a nightmare. though i survived, something within me did die on that airstrip. be it my innocence or my belief that natural fairness of life, but i cannot deny how radically that nightmare loaded my perspective and my instinct and how it has informed the woman that i am today. we don't get to choose our formative moments. very often, adversity and failure shape us more permanently than fortune and success. that has certainly been the case in my life. the major setbacks i've endured, and there have been many, have actually propelled me onward. each one reminded me how important it is to stand up again. as difficult as it may be, stronger and more steadfast.

pain yields action. it can introduce a fervor to speak out to those whose voices are not heard. surviving jonestown, crystallized where needed to focus my energy. it convinced me that i had a purpose.all i had to do was figure out how to fulfill it. so fast forward into my term in congress. and what happened in between was much. actually ran for congressman ryan's unexpired term and loss bid then spent six years on the board of supervisors in san mateo county. 18 years in state legislature. and ran for lieutenant governor of california and lost. then ran -- i decided to run

for congress. it was 29 years for the first time i ran for congress and the second time i ran for congress and won. that is a record, i might add. [laughter] chapter 10 is called shattering silence. expecting the unexpected got catapulted to a whole new level in january 2017. when donald trump was sworn in as president of the united states. the morning after the inauguration, i hosted a breakfast reception at the capital. mobilizing hundreds of women, many of whom were from my congressional district. in the fight to ratify the equal rights amendment. and to make women's rights a priority in the 115th congress. the proposed amendment, 24 simple words that would make it illegal to discriminate against citizens based on sex has been proposed in congress without adoption since 1923. most people are sad to learn

the fact about our constitution. in an interview given by supreme court justice antonin scalia in 2011, he provoked outrage by stating, and a quote - certainly the constitution does not require discrimination based on sex. the only issue is whether it prohibits it. it doesn't. he was correct. the only issue is whether it prohibits it.in the inauguration seemed a perfect day to send a message to the republicans in congress to the incoming administration and the american people that women were not going to be treated as second-class citizens. we were not going to allow our centuries worth of hard won race to be rolled back even an inch. to me and many of my colleagues and much of the nation, it was a critical year to come together. and aggressively address discrimination and all of its corrosive and violent forms. it was a tipping point and

enough outraged woman stood up, fed up and determined to take matters into our own hands. there was no more exhilarating affirmation of this from the woman's marsh that took place in cities across the world. among the most heartening political uprisings i've ever witnessed. i've been in politics most of my life and i've seen a remarkable change in the conversation. when i was a ryan girl in years after feminism was practically a dirty word. i've been fighting for laws to protect women for my entire adult life. sometimes i've had to settle for incremental reforms, rationalizing that half a loaf is better than no loaf at all. other times, i stuck my high heels in the sand and drew a line. and often, was forced to wait for more optimal time to act. and sexual harassment prevention training and congress. the chairman of the rules

committee didn't even allow this to be debated. i tried to get more funding for the compliance office, to be more proper outreach.but that money was removed. i was battling for improvement but there was no willingness to listen. at times i left the sessions feeling so depleted. giving up was never an option or consideration. still, fort forecloses running from environmental protection to privacy laws, there are few that i never tired of championing. key issues i prioritize since my first pamphlet as a supervisor candidate. chief among them is women's empowerment. i was once advised with the best of intentions to be not so focused on women. doing so would only alienate men.but i responded and still believe that if women do not do it, who will? if a woman avoids taking on the cause of women, who do we expect to affect change?

should we look to meant to fight for our equal pay?i know that as a woman i am a minority in the house. in the most diverse congress ever elected. we still only make up 20 percent of the representatives that is now outdated. it is not going to be 23 percent in the next congress. yet, we are more than half the population of the united states. in fact, i was like the 217th women of over 12,000 members to serve in the house or representatives. today only 289 women have served. that is about to change. it is no surprise that i feel a huge responsibility to fight for laws that protect and equalize women and their daughters and granddaughters. i've been at my most dogged when it comes to issues like domestic violence and sexual assault within the military, on college campuses, the workplace and on the hill. the abuse of power, especially towards women, has always felt deeply personal. i know you far from alone in

having experienced sexual abuse. i dealt with that horror as a child. in the memory of feeling so vulnerable, confused and disgraced, has shaped me irrevocably. i was abused by family member. in my case, it was my grandfather. it is astonishing how many children are sexually abused in their homes. often, it is the uncle, stepparent, the cousin. more prevalent, then will ever come to the surface. my recollection is fuzzy because i was quite young. and long ago, i willed it out of my memories. but i do remember that i would stay with my grandparents when i was six or seven and take naps with my grandfather. in the bedroom, they had a german duvet.it was nice and cozy under the goose feather covers. he would follow me and put his hand inside of me. sometimes he would place my leg

against his penis.i knew it was not right but didn't know what to do about it so i did nothing. it probably happened five or six times though i cannot say for certain. i also do not know precisely when or how the behavior stopped. there is a human instinct to suppress such violations and that is what i did for years. burying it under a surface of shame. it kept coming back to my mind. i didn't know where i should turn. i couldn't tell grandma, as much as she loved and protected me. she was also a devoted wife. eventually, i told my mom. i was about 11 or 12 years old. and i remember feeling terrified, unsure if she will believe me or blame me or worse. i didn't have the self possession to know whether i had done something wrong.

but instead of anger, i was expecting, moms face crumbled into an expression of anguish and guilt. she didn't respond. but didn't need to. i could see in her eyes, how crushed she felt for not protecting me. i very much doubt my grandmother ever found out. and i don't even know if my mom told my dad what kind of man his father was. and what he had done to me. as far as i know, she kept it to herself. at that time, families especially were in silence. and so i learned to compartmentalize. that has been one of several coping mechanisms that have kept the hardships that i have faced from overtaking me. but it has not always been the most useful method. some things in life cannot stay filed away. the molestation was one of them for me. even now, when i go to the cemetery, my parents are buried in the same area as my grandparents. just 13 rows away.

a take solace for dad, mom and grandma. i have avoided looking at my grandfathers gravesite. thomas have lasting effects. and there made so much worse when victims are accused of making it up or exaggerating. were made to feel like our trauma is a unnameable secret and the burden we must carry alone. we must do better. our baseline for dealing with sexual assault needs to be, we believe you. i believe you. we will make sure that this doesn't happen again. okay so -- i would love to just at this point, answer questions you may have about the book.

>> hi. i'm wondering if you can talk a bit about how you have come to terms with the experience of what happened to you.have you gone back? have you, what did you go through to overcome that trauma and be okay now? >> i've never got back to guyana. i will certainly offer the opportunity to go back with media from time to time. but have never really wanted to go back. in terms of coping with it, it took a very long time. i mean this, the surgery i endured, they were many.over 10. i was hospitalized two months. but even getting out of the hospital in recovering, it was years. it was years physically, and it was probably decades emotionally. >> thank you for reading the

book. [inaudible question] with your grandfather to go through either in jonestown and then find out, he said you also survived the unexpected death of your father. just seems like -- your husband, sorry. it seems overwhelming. i'm not sure if you want to share about your husbands loss. and you said that was actually even more difficult than what you experienced at jonestown. >> so, 14 years after guyana, i was challenged once again. this time was much more difficult and for worse.

after jonestown, i came to terms with the trauma by saying to myself that everyone is given their fair share of grief. that mind just came early in my life. 14 years later, when my husband was killed in an automobile accident by a young driver who had no breaks, he knew he had no breaks and ran a red light. it was beyond description. i was pregnant with our second child. it was a high-risk pregnancy. and i was driving to sacramento to give a speech to the california bankers association when i got the phone call. and i was with my district director. we turned around and drove back and that started just an unbelievable journey to try and

cope. because i had a 5 1/2-year-old son who was in kindergarten that i had to take from school that day. and bring him to the hospital to say goodbye to his dad. and then pull the plug. it was probably the hardest thing i've ever done in my life. so that is one of a number of stories in the book that i use as a basis on which to talk about the kind of coping mechanisms that i've used in my life. which i called the three "f's" family, friends and faith. to reach out and asked what we need when we are traumatized. because people are there for us when we are traumatized but they don't know what to do. >> thank you for your story. is this working? okay. i'm fascinated with social

movements along the lines of cults and just kind of that cult thinking, mentality and i used to be a campaign tracker. so i have all the republican events and so for the democrats. it is very, very -- [laughter] but i was in new hampshire at the time and i'd go to all of the trump rallies. when i was there i said this doesn't feel normal. it just doesn't feel like a normal republican rally. and it felt very cultlike to me. i was like, this doesn't feel like normal partisan politics. and i'm just wondering -- there was a talk about concern that trump and being occult anyway. i'm wondering if your

experience at jonestown and life, has come to shape your view of who trump is aside from everything he is but adding to your experience to that. >> is not the first time that question has been posed to me, i might add. the parallels of individuals who are charismatic and compel an audience to follow them as certainly, jim jones did and president trump did in his campaign. and even now. is telling, certainly. i do not know that i would go as far as to say that donald trump supporters are part of a cult. they certainly have coalesced into a entity that is, it defies reason from time to

time. and acts and respective of what is fact. on their vision on issues. i don't know how much it is shaped by cable news that people watch on. if you only listen to one cable news station to get a particular perspective. but with jim jones, he also prayed on vulnerable people. there were people that were down and out and disassociated with family and were forewarned and looking for a father image. looking for that family. and the people's temple created that environment for them. there was another group that

got interested in the people's temple because they saw this as the utopia that we could show on earth that blacks and whites could live happily together in a commune setting, in a socialist way where we would pull all of our resources together and turn over all of our earthly belongings and live this utopian life. jim jones was a man who twisted truth. he lied, he conducted sexual violence against people. men and women. he used physical abuse, he beat down the human being that we cherish. the mind control that was at work in jonestown was sinister,

was shocking, was unbelievable. and yet, he had through all of those forms of abuse and by exiting them, been able to do all of that. 911 people to lose their lives in the jungle, it wasn't suicide. i hate to add, it was murder. those people, many of them, did not want to take their lives. >> thank you for coming and sharing your story with us. i am curious, you identify the survivor of jonestown. they are not many of those but obviously, you are kind of entering into that so different for most of the people who lost their lives there. i'm curious how you situate yourself let's say, maybe some of the people who escaped or

the family members who mourn their logos that lost their lives there. how do you situate yourself with those people? he met with families and then the other question i'm curious about, in hindsight when you look back, was anything up with people acting suspicious? do you think back and say, we should have noticed that they were acting shifty or anything like that? sort of quick to question their fee. >> in answer to your first question, i have over the years, engage with many of the family members. we actually were successful in bringing some of the defectors out with us. and they were able to survive and move on with their lives. many of them have had difficult lives though. with the trauma associated with having survived when others have not. and i think that many of them also, were broken. they become broken by the behavior that jones imposed

upon so many of them. in terms, the second question was? >> in hindsight when you look back -- >> yes! so, what was interesting at the time was, i was very fearful about going on the trip. and i had actually was in the process of purchasing a condominium in arlington virginia. and i literally had written into the contract that the contract would be null and void if i did not survive the trip to guyana. and i did that because i thought, if anything were to happen, i did not want my parents to be settled with a piece of property 3000 miles away. people often say, why did you go? and you know, this is 1978. there were not many women in legislative positions in congress. i feel that if i did not go, there was a staff member from

the committee, that was somehow set women back. so i made the trip. now, i told congressman ryan i was really very concerned about our safety and he said, come on! we have nothing to worry about. and when you think about it, from his perspective, he had never been a member of congress assassinated abroad. in the line of duty. he was the first and hopefully, the only one. but it was also a situation where we were, we were duped in part by the state department. the state department gave us the impression that it was, everything was great down there. that the people were very happy. even though there had been defectors that had laughed and had told their stories to the embassy officials in georgetown, guyana. they still have this message

that would suggest that there was no reason for us to go down there at all. so i still point the finger at the lack of duty to warn, duty to investigate, duty to protect by the state department as it related to the american citizens living abroad. ... [inaudible conversations]

as this weekend on "after words," fox news host tucker karlson and elitism in america and the national review's richard brookhiser recounts the career of supreme court chief justice john marshall, and that's all these weekend on c-span 2's booktv, for a complete television schedule advice booktv.org. >> good morning. i'm david burton, senior fell of of economic policy here at the heritage foundation. her subject today is, is it humane to be a socialist? highly relevant subject it is. today's event is the fifth in a speaker series we call free