soon as we can move things around so we will formalizeto the back . we do have books at the front counter and on table . i hope you will get a copy and bring it home and read it. start tonight. thank you so mucharea . >> you're watching tv. did you know you can listen on the go. download the c-span radio cspan2 from your device area on the weekends, click on the cspan2 button to hear everything airing on tv live. >> welcome everyone to kramerbooks, thank you for coming .i would like to welcome jackie to kramer books. he is california's congresswoman and the recognized champion of women's rights, privacyand consumer safety . she's included in this 2019 list of top influencers. transforming americanpolitics .

"undaunted: surviving jonestown, summoning courage, and fighting back" is a memoir of surviving the jonestown massacre and becoming a fearless voice against injustice and inequality so thank you so much for coming here and i'm looking forward to it. >>. [applause] >> thank you for coming out tonight. this is my very first reading so will get through this together. one way or the other. i thought i'd start off by reading what probably brought many of you here which is the jonestown experience. and then digging a little bit more from the last chapter which actually discloses something deep in my life history that has formed a great deal ofwhat i've done with my life .in between lots of remarkable and not so remarkable experiences in my life that have sort of shape you i am today.

so we can talk about jonestown and the people's temple and colts in general and talk about the washington experience and how we make laws and it's very much like making sausage and go from there. i'm going to start with the prologue. >> i was dying. it was just a matter of time. dying behind the wheel of the airplane, bleeding out of the right side of my devastated body, i waited for the rapid shooting to stop. then said my contrition, praying my roads for forgiveness. i used what little energy i had left to finish that prayer. before the lights went out. but the lights didn't go out and i slowly began to take stock of my situation. i was 28 years old and i was about to die. my life would never be the one i imagined. i'd never get married or

become the mother of a boy and girl or leave the world a better place. gently pass when it was my time to go surrounded my loved ones. instead, my story was coming to an end on a dusty runway in a humid tiny jungle thousands of miles from my home. i don't know if it's possible to articulate urgently aware you become of the fleeting nature of your existence when you're confronted with the end. >> i lay there for what felt like an eternity. somehow, through the encroaching darkness of my final thoughts, i saw my 87-year-old grandmother ,. with marvelous matriarch of my family. all i could think of was i'm not going to make grandma with through my funeral. not if i can help it. i couldn't bear the vision of her sitting in front of my casket suffering.

if not for my reverence for her, i don't believe i would be alive today. she encouraged me to summon my will to move, breathing heavily, i dragged my shattered body away from the wheel. neither my doctors or i could explain how i physically managed it in my state but i pulled myself up and stumbled around to takeshelter in the baggagecompartment . i survived . survival against terrible odds can make every day that follows well with a renewed sense of purpose. though not immediately and not for everybody but with the hindsight of 40 years, i see that my baptism by gunfire guided me into the life i was meant to live: one of public service. one that would ignite the courage to make my voice heard and one that would carry with it an additional appreciation for each new

day. that sentiment was far from my desperate thoughts at the time. truth be told, it would have been far easier to have closed the box on guyana long ago or to have pushed the memory away into the recesses of my mind but what happened in that jungle was a massacre. a nightmare.though i survived, something within the die on that airstrip. in my innocence or my belief that natural fairness of life , but i can't deny how radically that nightmare molded my perspective and my instinct and how much it has informed the woman i am today. we don't get to choose our formative moments. very often, adversity shapes us more permanently than fortune and success. has certainly been the case in my life. the major setbacks i've endured, and there have been many, have propelled me on words . each one reminding me how

important it is to stand up again, as difficult as it may be, stronger and more steadfast. pain yields action. it can introduce a for her to speakout for those voices are not heard . surviving jonestown puts where i needed to focus my energy and convinced me i had a purpose. all i had to do was figureout how to fulfill it . so fast-forward into my term in congress. and what happened in between was much. i ran for congress in my unexpired term of office and lost and spent six years on the board of supervisors in san mateo county and 18 years in state legislature and ran for lieutenant governor of california and lost and then

when the late congressman, announced he wasn't running, i decided to run for congress . it was 29 years from the first time i ran and the second time i ran and one, that is a record i might add. so chapter 10 is called shattering silence. expecting the unexpected catapulted to a whole new level in january 2017 when donald trump was sworn in as president of the united states. the morning after the inauguration, i hosted a breakfast reception at the capital, mobilizing hundreds of women, many of whom were from my congressional district in the fight to ratify the equal rights amendment and make women's rights a priority inthe hundred 15th congress . that proposed amendment, 24 simple words that would make it illegal to discriminate against citizens based on sex has been proposed in congress

without adoption since 1923. most people are shocked to learn the sad truth about our constitution. in an interview given by supreme court justice antonin scalia, you provokeoutrage by saying certainly the constitution does not require discrimination based on sex. the only issue is whether it prohibits it. it doesn't . he was correct. the only issue is whether it prohibits it and the inauguration had seemed the perfect day to send a message to the republican ruling congress and the incoming administration that women were not going to be treated as second-class citizens. we were not going to allow ourcenturies worth of rights to be rolled back even an inch .to me, too many of my colleagues and much of the nation, we sent the response

in 2017. it was a critical year to come together and aggressively address this determination and all its violent forms . it was the tipping point when enough outraged women stood up, fed up and determined to take matters into our own hands. there was no more exhilarating affirmation of this and the women's march that took place in cities across the world and was among the most political uprisings i have ever witnessed. i've been in politics for most of my life and had seen a remarkable change in the conversation. when i was a ryan girl, feminism was practically a dirty word area i've been fighting for laws to protect women for my entire adult life. sometimes i had to settle for incremental reforms rationalizing that apple oh was better than no loaf at all. other times i stuck my high heels in the sand and drew a line and often i wasforced to wait for a more optimal time to act . in 2014 i tried passing an amendment to mandate sexual harassment prevention

training in congress. the chairman of the rules committee did not even allow the measure to be debated. i tried to add more funding for the compliance office to do more proper outreach that money was removed. i was battling for improvements but there was no willingness to listen. at times i left those sessions feeling so deflated that giving up was never an option or a consideration. >> though i thought the causes ranging from environmental protection to privacy laws, there are few that i never tired of championing. our key issues that i prioritize since my first pamphlet as a supervisor candidate. chief among them is women's empowerment. a campaign consultants once advised me with the best of intentions to not be so focused on women. doing so would only alienate men area but i responded and still believe that women don't doit , who will? if a woman avoids taking on the cause of women, who do we

expect to affect change? we lead men to fight for equal pay? i know that is a woman i'm a minority in the house and the most diverse congress ever elected area we still only make 20 percent of the representatives that is not outdated, and now want to be 23 percent in the next congress. yet we are more than halfthe population of the us . i was only the 270 woman of over 12,000 members to serve in the house . and in the history of our country, only 289 women have served. that is about to change. it is no surprise that i feel a huge responsibility fight for laws that protect and equalize women and their daughters and granddaughters so i've always been my most dogged when it comes to issues like domestic violence and sexual assault within our military, on college campuses in the workplace and on the hill. the abuse of power, especially towards women as

always felt deeply personal. i know that i am far from alone inhaving experienced sexual abuse . i don't with that as a child. and the memory of feeling so vulnerable and confused and disgraced has shaped me irrevocably. >> as is too often the case, i was abused by a family member. in my case, it was my grandfather. it's astonishing how many children are sexually abused in their homes. often it's the uncle, the stepparent, the cousin. more prevalent then will ever come to the surface, i fear. my own recollection is fuzzy because i was quite young and little bit out of my memory. but i do remember that i would stay with my grandparents when i was six or seven and take naps with my grandfather. in the bedroom, they had a german debate so it was nice and cozy under those sheets.

he would follow me and put his hand inside of me. sometimes he would place my leg against his penis. i knew what was happening was not right, but i had no idea what to do about it so i did nothing. i don't remember how many times it happened. probably five or six so i can't say for certain. i also don't know precisely when or how the behavior stopped. there was an instant to suppress such horrors and that's what i did foryears . burying what had been done to me under a layer of shame but it kept resurfacing, clawing at the back into my young mind. i didn't know where i should turn. i couldn't tell grandma as muchas she loved and protected me . eventually i told my mom. i was 11 or 12 years old and

i remember feeling terrified, unsure if she believed me or blame me or worse. i didn't have the self possession to know whether i had done somethingwrong but instead of anger , moms face crumbled into anexpression of anguish and guilt . he didn't respond and didn't need to. i could see in her eyes how crushed she felt for not protectingme . i doubt my grandmother ever found out and i don't even know if my mom told my dad what kind of man his father was and what he had done to me. as far as i know, she kept it to herself. at that time, families were in silence so i learned to compartmentalize. has been one of several coping mechanisms that have kept the hardships i face from overtaking me but it has notalways been the most useful method . some things in life cannot stay far away and the molestation was one of them for me . even now and i goto the

cemetery , parents are buried in the same area as my grandparents 13 miles away. i take flowers for dad, mom and grandma. i avoid even looking at my grandfather's grave site. traumas have lasting effects and they are made so much worse when victims are accused of making it up or exaggerating or made to feel like their trauma is an unnameable secret and burden . we need to do better. my baseline for dealing with sexual assault needs to be, we believe you. i believe you. we will make sure thisdoesn't happen again . okay. so i'd love to just at this point answer questions you may have about the book.

>> hi. i was wondering if you could talk a bit about how you've come to terms with the experience of what happened in jonestown. have you gone back to guyana? what did you go through to overcome that trauma and the okay now? >> i have never gone back to guyana. i was offered the opportunity to go back withmedia from time to time that i've never really wanted to go back . in terms of coping with it, it took a very long time. the surgeries i endured were many, i was hospitalized for over two months and even aftergetting out of the hospital and recovering , it was years. it was years physically and it was probably decades

emotionally. >>. >> thank you for reading. >>. >> i wonder what you did with your grandfathers sculpture in jonestown and then to find out what he said, that you also survived the death of your father but this seems like your husband, sorry. this just seems overwhelming. i'm not sure if you want to share that story about your husband's loss and as you said, that was actually even more difficult than what you experienced at jonestown. >> so 14 years after diana, i was challenged once again.

this time was much more difficultand far worse. after jonestown , i came to terms with the trauma by saying to myself that everyone is given there their share of grief. mine just came early. for 14 years later when my husband was killed in an automobile accident, i don't driver who had no breaks, really had no breaks and ran a red light. was beyond description. i was pregnant with our second child area i was a high risk pregnancy and i was driving to sacramento to get a seat to the california bankers association when i got aphone call . i was with my assistant

director, we turned around and drove back and that started just an unbelievable journey to try and cope. because i had a 5 1/2-year-old son who was in kindergarten and i have to take from school that day and bring them to the hospital to say goodbye to his dad. and then pull the plug. it was probably the hardest thing i've ever done in my life . so that is one of a number of stories in the book that i use as a basis on which to talk about the kind of coping mechanisms that i've used in my life which i call the three f's. family, friends and faith. it's important for us to reach out and ask for what we need when we are traumatized because below are there for us but they just don't know what to do. >> thank you for your story.

is this working? i am fascinated with social movements and that cold thinking mentality and i used to be a campaign tracker so i got all the republican events for the democrats. but i would still in new hampshire at the time i go to all the trump rally and when i was there, i said this doesn't feel normal. this doesn't feel like a normal republican rally and it felt very cultlike to me. i was like, this doesn't feel like normal partisan politics . and i'm just wondering resin as lynn, he did talk about how he's concerned that from

itself has become a cold and away and i'm wondering if if your experience is at jonestown and whether that's kind of shape your views of you trump is aside from everything he is, but you know, adding theories to that? >> is definitely the first time that questions been posed to me. the parallels of individuals who are charismatic and compel an audience to listen and to follow them has certainly jim jones did and president from getting this campaign and even now, is telling, certainly. i don't know if that does as far as to say that trump supporters are part of a cold , but they certainly have coalesced into an entity that

is, that defies reason from time to time. and ask irrespective of what is fact. on their positions on issues. i don't know how much of that is shaped by cable news that people watch now: you only listen to one cable news station, you get a particular perspective area but with jim jones, he also played on vulnerable people. it was a whole universe of people that became attracted to the people couple that were down and out that were disassociated with family and work forlornly and were

looking for a father image, looking for that family. and the people simple created that environment for them. there was another group that got interested in the peoples temple because they saw it as the utopia that we could show on earth that blacks and whites could live happily together in a commune setting in a socialist way where we would pool all of our resources together and turn over all our earthly belongings and live this utopian life. >> jim jones was a fraudster. he was a man who twisted truth. he lied. he conducted sexual violence against people. men and women. he used physical abuse. he beat down the human being that we cherish.

the mind control that was at work in jonestown was sinister. was shocking. was unbelievable. and yet he had, through all those forms of abuse and by isolating them been able to do all of that. 911 people lost their lives in that jungle. it wasn't suicide. i hasten to add, it was murder. those people, many of them did not want to take their lives . >> thank you for sharing your story with us and i'm curious, you identify as a survivor of jonestown . there's not many of those but obviously your interest into that was different from most

of the people who want their lives there and i'm curious how you situate yourselves with some of the people who escape or the family members who mourn their loved ones who lost their lives there. how do you situate yourself with those people? you met with family and the other question, i'm just curious. in hindsight when you look back, was anything up with people acting suspicious to look back and say we should have noticed they were acting shifty oranything like that? so actually two questions . >> in answer to your first question, i have over the years engaged with many of the family members. we were successful in bringing some of the defectors out with us and they were able to survive and move on. many haddifficult lives . there is a trauma associated with having survived with others who have not. and i think that many of them also were broken. they had become broken by the

behavior that jones imposed upon so many of them.and in terms, the second question was? oh yes. >> i was in the purchase of purchasing a condominium and i had written into the contract that the contract would be no and void if i did not survive the trip to guyana. i did that because i thought if anything happened, i didn't want to might parents to be saddled with a piece of property 3000 miles away and people say why did you go? this is 1978. there were many women in legislative positions in

congress . i felt that if i didn't go, there was a staff member from the committee that was going but it would somehow set me back.i made the trip. i told congressman ryan that i was very concerned about our safety and he said come on. we have nothing to worry about and when you think about it from his perspective, there had never been a member of congress assassinated abroad in the line of duty. he was the first and hopefully the only one. but it was also a situation where we were duped in part by the state department. the state department gave us the impression that everything was great down there. that the people were very happy. even though there had been defectors that had left and had told their stories to the

embassy officials in georgetown. they still had this message that would suggest that there was no reason for us to go down there at all. so i still point the finger at the lack of duty to warn, duty to investigate, duty to protect by the state department as it related to those american citizens living abroad. >> thank you guys so much for coming and thank you so much to the staff. [applause] we have copies of her book in the back and she also would be more than happy to stay and talk with you a bit and sign them for you. thank you guys.

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