to think more deeply about the meaning perk i hope you get the book. thinks. [applause] hello everybody. welcome. i have the honor of introducing two real-life entrepreneurial women moms we think there are some other moms in this audience that are as excited as i am to learn from these two. welcome i am a senior program

officer of tonight's sponsor we believe the most important thing you can do is to give others the opportunity to succeed is make sure they have a high quality education tonight you will hear from a career educator who has done the thing that those of us who are educators always wanted to do to become a teacher and build the school you want to send your child to. her son is a senior and will graduate from her school this year. which is pretty amazing starting with one school and has built 11 of the most innovative public school serving 4400 students and also the way that her work has spread with curriculum and teachers it is remarkable.

in her book she shares her journey as a leader is one of the most public school networks she took a roadmap and those that thrive in today's workplace to have a fulfilled life. welcome and thank you for coming. [applause] diane is joined by angela duckworth founder and ceo of the character lab which introduces sciences as character and with the end of getting science into the people that are shepherding the next generation of parents and educators in a way that makes a meaningful difference. she has advised the world ban bank, nfl and fortune 500 when

dwayne the rock johnson wants to talk good he calls angela we are incredibly excited to hear the conversation please welcome them again. thank you. >> thank you for a warm introduction the plan is that we get to have a conversation and then there is a card in the book if the question occurs to you during the conversation then at about 715 or 710 we will collect them and then we can take as many of those as we have time for.

thank you for listening to our conversations we really do want to be inclusive. i will start off by asking diane about the story of writing this book. so why did you carve out the time? i think it's a fabulous book. >> thank you so much. for many years people told me i should write a book. when you start a school people just tell you that you should start those stories because they are noteworthy that that was never enough to get me to write a book. what got me to write the book as i spent the last number of years and a lot of towns and cities across the country talking to a lot of parents and teachers and educators. what i heard was a very common conversation about people having the same vision for their kids and being frustrated it wasn't happening

for them and their community. a lot of them felt alone. so i wanted to have this conversation with everyone and a good friend of mine who is an author said a book is a six hour conversation what can you do? so i thought i can do a lot. so that's what put me over the edge. >> i'm sure you were very intentional to call the title prepared. so tell me more about what these words mean and what it means to be prepared to lead a fulfilled life. >> the theme that i heard from parents of what i believe as a mom is that at the end of the day i wanted my child to be happy and have a good life with friends and family for

quite out when him to live in my basement. but i don't need for him to be the most powerful or wealthy in the world perk i want him to be happy and that is fulfillment which is living your life with purpose so we really believe that is ever job as the k-12 education system in america is to prepare kids to go into adult hood so they are prepared and equipped. >> not everybody would identify as educator professionally. so the other half are doing things that could be considered educationally but not formally.

so then have excellence to success. is happy to you to have terrible test scores or talk about fulfillment and achievement and how that plays out as a mother or educators. >> the way that i think about them for my life and what i have come to learn it comes down to where you live so a lot of people chase success and then they can pursue fulfillment so you see people going hard and crazy weather money or position and then to think after that that i can have a good life.

but what we have learned from science and experience but the way to chase that success is to pursue fulfillment which is weird paradox because if you go look at successful people and how they got there you can be happy and fulfilled along the way and you are more likely to be successful if you are happy and fulfilled along the way but the way we think about success not so narrow that more abroad which to the benefit of that is actually a win-win in society because not everybody goes for the same few titles or positions they are present on - - pursuing what makes them happy i have

an 18 -year-old and 16 -year-old so when i go home tonight what can i communicate to my kids because what you say makes total sense for a lot of young people it is either or. you get into the best college possible and it's very hard to think of them together and also how does this play out in your school quex. >> we are in a simpler position and our kids like all kids are getting these intents messages other job is to get into the best college and certainly as an opportunity

for your child so i do not want to in any way suggestive not supportive of that. but not in the best college and the stacked rank list but college is the best fit if it's the right fit. so this is where they are married together. harvard, stanford and they are at the top of the list. like the vast majority of kids that can define their success in is not there are not the right fit because they're not good enough but they have a specific culture that is only a fit for certain kids. 2000 other institutions in the

country have very specific offerings that would be much better matches for all different kids. really what our kids should be doing is figuring out who they are so they can be a consumer of college. what worries me most is how people who are going and applying to college and pay $80000 a year. think about that. that is an expensive car. i think we would be expect a lot we would be choosy we would be shopping around is that good enough for my money? now were begging colleges to take us the hoping that they think we are good enough. my advice is that's a lot of

money with your most precious child you should be asking them really hard questions do they deserve you and your child. some of those at the top maybe don't. >> at summit if i was at summit in 15 years old what messages would i be hearing? how does this play out in my routine? how do you get purpose quex. >> a couple of ways but the first what our kids are doing everyday is engaging in project -based learning it's a way of learning math and science and history and english in a engaging way. project -based learning starting with the big question that they care about and asks them to go deep and figure it

out. one project my son is doing right now with a government project where the kids pick a live legislator they figure who the person is then they figure out a piece of legislation the legislator would oppose and draft legislation on the policy proposal and then try to get the other fellow legislators to build a coalition to pass it. hard and challenging stuff. you have to know yourself and your values and beliefs to write this legislation and you are discovering who you are along the way. but the kids have spent years getting to that place that helps them to figure out who

am i and why do i believe in and what do i care about? it is super relevant people who think this generation does not care could not be more wrong. they have a lot of thoughts about the laws we should be passing. that is the core curriculum. that a whole part is dedicated to explore and pursue interests. this is a lot of trial and error in failure and try again we carve out time for them to choose between 70 different choices to explore different things tested for four or six or eight weeks and then reflect. what did i like? what did i not like to i want to try that again or is that not a good fit all grade

levels. >> if you do that over and over year after year then you know who you are. >> so i no longer teach high school i teach university students as you already know there's plenty of 18 to 22 -year-olds on the planet who don't know where they are going when they are 22. >> because we did not prepare them so i love what you said about having kids exposed to new things i never thought about literary agent or high school principal and then to explore them and pursue them. so what does it look like? how do they do that? is at all on the internet? what if on the second day you say i don't want to be a

gynecologist anymore. [laughter] >> i will take you through a couple of different stories. one student is a good example. he's a freshman at summit this ninth grade kid who really loves movies so he gets this opportunity to do filmmaking. it's over eight weeks over the course of the year he does have to stick it out which i think he will appreciate because you stick it out even if it's not the ultimate thing. but he discover this is his thing so the next year in his sophomore year he wants to go deeper so he goes to the next level of filmmaking so now he starts to pursue it so now he

starts to do this outside, connections , research, by his junior year he's ready to design his own experience. we work with him and he built eight weeks that includes an internship and by his senior year he's actually going for himself that's when it works beautiful it doesn't always work that way. so we have lots of kids another good example we are in silicon valley in the hub of technology we have kids to do short experiences and local technology companies their first start is coding we have a group of them who went and did that and then they went to

the company and here's a really good example of a conversation coming out of that one student said i learned don't want to be a software engineer i don't like the solidarity of it. i don't get into the flow the way other people do. but the part he did like when they would come together in the meetings and there is a role to bring the people together to be the go-between between the engineer and those using the software and managing the project and communicating and he was interested in that role so we unpacked of what he did not like being alone or ten hours of coding all at one time but he did like the collaborating and translating and he started

to understand what he wanted being a project manager will he be? i don't know that he discover the pieces that he will put together to do something passionate for him. >> for all the educators in the room if they are not lucky enough to be directly at this time is that continuing part of that exposure if your student said horseback riding or astronaut or is it a choice of many wonderful options quex. >> we really enter this with activities or extracurricular activities we help them to engage and there are as much

choices as possible. one of the unintended consequences of this narrow focus on creating kids for the best college application as we have internalized the message to be deep in one area as an expert and that's how they stand out so now you go back to little kids pick one thing and then stay with it forever and now i will be excellent at that so now it is closed off opportunities to explore. so i would suggest the best way to get to expertise is to have a multiple-choice opportunity you don't have to start when you are three but if you hit on what is your particular area of passion so i would encourage you to think

about the limitations so how can you expose your kids to as much as you can for as long as you can that they are as learning as much when they don't like something as when they do. is not a failure sometimes that's a hugely valuable piece of information for you as the parent and for your child. >> we feel you have to see it through to the end of the period that once that active choice if you go for it is very appropriate. >> one of the things i love about this book and it really is a great book. you put vulnerable and honest

of your not ideal childhood so what you are describing like it sounds great but tell me about your childhood and where you are from. >> one of the reasons i became an educator in school because a lot of what we are talking about was not happening in my home as a child school was the one place i could and a significant number of kids we have the privilege of serving that's true for them as well and despite parents best intentions is not the circumstances i grew up in a very chaotic home it was physically and emotionally upsetting. what schools don't know and

understand or equipped to deal with it when you come from a home that is chaotic into the school setting you're not ready to learn. you are bringing a lot with you into the space that is difficult to communicate and convey so as a learner i felt very misunderstood and not seen. that was just the reality. what my school thought of me. >> what kind of student were you quex. >> i grew up in lake tahoe which at that time was a very small poor mountain town it

was for people who didn't live there but if you live there is not your experience. it was a hard life whether dictated it sounds ridiculous but i literally learn how to build a fire our heat source was the fireplace i built a family fire since age four. but i literally learn how to build a fire our heat source was the fireplace i built a family fire since age four. a good student quex. >> no. was put into special ad in elementary school. >> because you're coming to school thinking about other things. >> yes. i spent most of my childhood afraid because i had no idea what i would walk into at night. what we know and what you know when your mind is in that

state it's hard to learn so once in school you are labeled as a delayed reader then you start to take that on yourself. and then it falls further and further behind. >> so that you are not a good student. and a conference table with bill and melinda gates. and diane was one. that was the best fried chicken i ever had. [laughter] but also and then said oh my

god i want to meet you i want to be with you all the time. [laughter] so it seems if i did just that. so tell me about what happened and at what point did you think i am a smarter capable person quex. >> i will be honest when i walk on campuses i now have the honor to go to harvard and stanford actually went to stanford. i still have the syndrome where i walk into those places and think i don't know if i belong here are. so it stays.

and then my mom finally divorced my dad something started to stabilize when i was eight and that was helpful. and for all the challengers she was dealing with and then to leave me behind. and in her own ways and eventually i don't know in eighth grade winning this award to be self infused. i don't know how it's possible i winning this award i don't

know if i see myself like that. so it goes something like this. aerodynamically but the bumblebee does not know that so it just goes on flying brick i feel like i am the bumblebee pic i don't know how i do it. >> i won't forget how to go back but during that particular moment in gestation of summit there was a crisis but i undermine no big promises i can't keep and then you say more about what's going on i feel undermined and unsupported don't tell me that

i can't do something i thought i will prove you wrong and i underlined that the causes i have heard that exact language. i will show you. into the people that i study. so where does this come from? it's not the typical response and when confronted with the real crisis not the i will show you i feel determined where does this come from quex. >> one is that i got really lucky with the key moments in my life for whatever reason this is why.

and are lucky but those people literally helped me get out. and i stuttered psychology literally to figure myself out. [laughter] somehow i learned and then to figure out how to become myself once i started to figure that out i got angry quite frankly because the deck is so stacked against kids like me, women and be clear that i am super fortunate i look like this.

i am not a person of color. people of color have 100 times harder than i do. so i just got angry and said this is it right and it's not smart in our society. this is our job as an education system. >> so at summit do you have anything that you say can you give us a sense so here is a day in the life and the way that my kids go to school. >> what's interesting a lot of times people walk into school and think it will be a good

school a few things happen. some schools are beautiful but then they also think it's really orderly and they seem to be studiously doing their work. that's not what you will see at summit. that is not my version but here's the commonality in what i'm looking for. one the kids are really nice to you when you walk in the door they will stop and ask you can i help you? do you need something? if you asked them a question what they are doing they will talk to you. and when you start talking to them you asked them what are you working on they can tell you. why are you working on that? they can tell you. how does that connect to who you are?

they can tell you. they are not common answers they're very different depending on the student but every student you encounter at a summit school will do that. that is the hallmark that kids literally might be on the floor with headphones and their hood up but if you tap them on the shoulder they can engage with you. and to me that's the most important things. >> is there a magic wand that it is so radical that if there is one thing i could make happen and/or spring one - - wrinkle fairy dust another schools if they are in charge of their own learning or what would that be quex. >> i could pick three.

>> since you wrote a whole book. >> one is we are teaching in the project -based way. that's for sure one thing the second is the school has organized itself to really believe that kids should be developing the skills to have their own agency and make their own decisions and when you have that as a belief you really reorganize how the school looks and that they have a mentor. someone on campus, on-site and adult advocate they can connect to who knows about them and sees them and cares about them. >> every kid has a mentor don't you run out of grown-ups? [laughter] >> every mentor works with about 18 or 20 kids the

original design was the relationship between the student and the mentor but when you have a group they become a community. one of the most beautiful outcomes of mentoring is the actual mentor group. one of the favorite parts of the school is at graduation the kids graduate in their mentor groups they come from totally different backgrounds summit schools are diverse by design they don't know each other they are unlikely in a traditional school track they would never be in classes together. and by the time they are graduating they are truly a family and that's it you will hear from them at graduation and how they see each other.

it adult is part of that it really is a community. >> if you have questions now is a good time to jot them down. >> as i asked my final questions i am curious about your son and i wondered what is he doing now? is there something that surprised you? >> he is a senior at one of our scotland - - schools he started there in sixth grade so he is a long-running summit

student. and i think it's important for me to say when he entered sixth grade in fifth grade his teher recommended we test him for special education and was very concerned he would have dyslexia his writing is hard to read, he may have a processing having problems getting thoughts onto paper or things like that because he was really struggling in a fairly traditional elementary setting. i was worried as a former english teacher i wasn't sure he could ever wear one - - write a coherent paragraph i can look at my journal where i was beside myself how can an english teacher son not know how to write a paragraph? this is a problem and i don't know what to do.

fast-forward to his senior year. his expedition or his explorer this year is one he has crafted for himself and has developed an interest in history and geography with maps and is obsessed with current events and the world so he has this theory about politics and power he is very reflective and he is spending his expedition this year doing research on that writing up a theory and reaching out to people to help them with this. so interesting you ask me with my view of myself to be smart. >> do you thank you are smart and now?

>> not in the conventional way not the way he has confidence like he is calling professors to help him. i never would have done that. [laughter] that he is passionate and confident and determined he will not go to a traditional university. here spent a lot of time researching and is really excited about a new university called minerva. it's four years old is designed to be completely different it is self-directed and project -based they are in san francisco then the next six semesters in a different

world city they travel as a cohort the curriculum is in the city they go to. professors live around the worl world. that's very different. >> now we will turn this back to see how many we can get answered before we go to book signing. >> my apologies if we don't get to your questions there are some good ones. we have two how do you get more parents involved and how do schools support and listen to parents about disadvantaging those if they cannot be as involved? >> that is a good and

important question. i do think we as educators and professionals over the last couple years educators have taken a beating in a lot of ways and the reality is i believe deeply in teachers and educators it's our job to create and design experiences for all kids that are based in science and experience with the knowledge that we have for all kids. so we need to be given the respect and space to do that. when we do that we have to thoughtfully include the parents in whatever form they can engage with us. so some it's very active engagement for others it is minimal you cannot

disadvantage the student either way. i know that sounds hard to do but that is our challenge and it's possible. >> back to the college question supporting every child should find the best college for them but there are different opportunities for some of the graduates from harvard especially for job candidates of color how do you reconcile this when it comes to opening pathways for students? >> completely true i think one of the reasons people will pay a price tag for the top 50 colleges and put everything to get into that college because you buy into a network and you buy the brand.

it is valuable. no doubt about that. and the potential he comes at a cost as well. and then i'm not sure you end up living a fulfilled life. so there is as many stories not the top 50 but one of the other 2000 who really know who they are and what they want and care about to be successful without that outside brand because they know what they want and successful on their terms the way they want to live. so to me that's the ultimate. i don't see harvard and stanford anytime soon decide they will serve 10000 more kids they are actively working

to constrain and i think we can decide we will play into that per se we will pursue fulfillment collectively as a society putting pressure on them. >> so two connected questions when you provide a child with agency what happens if they waste time or how do i keep my child from outside influences? >> the most important about agency is to recognize that the set of skills and they are teachable. the way honestly we don't teach it as wasting time that is part of the learning process you have to understand

you teach them skills not to do that eventually you have to give them the freedom to make mistakes and learn from that and then move forward. so to recognize that will happen understanding the skills they need to build as well and then having a curriculum and the approach that leads them to build those schools over time and having tolerance for that to happen from those moments when they do waste time. also i don't know how many of you in this room literally work through your work day without ever getting distracted or peaking on your phone for a moment or two or to go on amazon and buy what you need. i don't think us as adults are perfect and completely engage the entire time we are there. so there is some realism around this as well that we

embrace. the second part is at home how do we protect our kids to not to be susceptible to these influences? but knowing yourself if you are confident about who they are and feel good about that and they have an outlet to know who they are they are far less susceptible than what other people think of them or influences or potentially ask on - - dangerous experimentation so that's the anecdote. >> not only do you have a book you have the website and i was on it on my way here from philadelphia it does field a lot of these types of

questions like prepare for success. and the other thing when you come to summit school you will see students who greet you or shake your hand if you are nice or if you're lost if you need help. i do think intentional as a parent about picking your school because during adolescence just naturally mammals including human beings turn to their peers as opposed to parents it's hard to describe but they care what their friends are doing and thinking so as a parent you think i have a 14 -year-old what can i do? that's why parent should be intentional and thoughtful to help their student if those

influences will be positive. it's not like every school is great for every kid but don't you say my kids have to go to this school. it really matters. >> how do you find on - - support a student that find school and athletics easy? what you do to support them? ff. >> i cannot think of a human being that something isn't challenging to them. one of the five behaviors of the self-directed learner is

challenge seeking. we have a lot of kids who come to summit and it comes easily and naturally and they do well in school but what we teach them self-directed learners they just don't sit back and rest and say i'm better than the rest of you but it's about me and my internal bar. that's where i focus. what is interesting and challenge and spark that in the child and get them to go after it. >> what do you look for when you hire educators? >> so that last question makes me think about growth mindset and the orientation that

learning comes from hard work not something i'm just bored with her or not good at so that growth mindset is critical for taking a role at summit is different than a lot of other places. so we look for teachers who want to learn different skills and do different things. and to care very much about the whole human being and that comes first and the subject becomes second not that we don't want people who don't care whether biology or math not because the passion is not important but what they care about in and of itself that other people get excited and care about it. those are the pieces that we look for. >> what would you say to a

parent who looks what they get at their school or talk to a parent about a mindset that they might bring in? >> i definitely think there are more that are orientating to the project based learning so i would certainly be looking at that and second in this mindset maybe i should say that compliant type of environment versus more ownership type so as the school talking about orderly i'm not opposed to order but if they are more focused on telling can show up at this time do this assignment follow

these directions or are they more interested in kids figuring out and driving their own experiences? so to the extent you can find that that is what i would look for. >> why is it so hard for schools to do some of these things systemically? >> one of the hardest parts of this middle and high school are organized where teachers are independent contractors. so we organize around the adults so i do this course. so now you have to put the pieces together and make it coherent for you. on the flipside is to say we should think about the experience because then we

have to collaborate to have a coherent experience because right now time is organized and the jobs are organized there is no opportunity for that. and at 9:00 o'clock at night to see that quite frankly. how do those ideas about summit dissect and diverge? >> i will check my notes. [laughter]

>> here is what i would say. so much of what we do at summit is using people like angela or other incredible researchers and we are so grateful to them. >> everybody will answer your call. >> because we do something. >> yes. that's why we love you. we did this because you told us. >> there really is a relationship. people always ask me i don't know if it is innovative we didn't make it up we brought it together in a coherent model. we didn't do any of this original.

so so much of what we are talking about here intersects with many other researchers. and grit shows up even though we use it differently. >> katie read the small things that i marked up on page 241 and this captures. >> whatever it takes you will find the word or the acronym with teachers and students the stories that we tell ourselves one another it is our culture and the mindset of how we

approach our work and what has driven us your after year unlike everything we have done whatever it takes a falls that doesn't mean we do everything as a work longer and harder to overcome that when we get stuck we don't lower our standards or give up whatever it takes we find our way. there's always a way to open a locked door. [applause] >> thank you both for coming we hope you enjoy that conversation as much as i did. and learning as much as i can.

>> give you didn't have a chance before and the other note is if you want to have a book club or discussion group with your school or parent network and would like extra copies of the book we would be happy to arrange for that and we can find ways to continue the conversation beyond tonight. thank you. [applause] ♪

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