positive present so many people of a certain age remember. >> to view the rest of this talk visit our website, booktv.org. type his name for the title of his book presidential leadership in crisis into the search box at the top of the page. >> so excited and so cool thing all these names pop up. how cool is this? >> i'm so pumped since only people we know something we don't but so excited we are here. [inaudible] >> we decided to poster we will have wine because i feel like that's what you do during quarantine. everybody else feel free to settle in with your wine with a beer or in germany's case a margarita. talk about this amazing book tou put it in the world which us congratulation, i'm so excited for you. >> thank you so much. it's really an exciting, very strange time to be putting a book out but as you're you areo

find out because you are also working on a book and you're about to go through the process and the pain and getting birth to something like this. we'll do this again in a couple of years of whenever this comes out. very interesting time to read the book. >> i'm really excited and excited to do this on the day your book is launching because you and i have friends in real life. we covered the trump campaign together. we covered the marco rubio campaign together. remember that? burke very briefly. >> can we like jump into this book? this is strange. i know you but but i don't else knows you from msnbc. you are like my sister. we spent more time to togethern year and half like just hanging

out than -- it's weird to talk to you like this, to be honest with you. >> i know. it's special. just to see people. i feel like part of the time we spent together when we were on the road, i vividly remember you i think in ohio and a bar somewhere and you first told me i don't talk to my mom, i don't talk to my dad. we got deeper into why you said my dad went back to india and didn't tell me when i was in college and i just -- remember not wanting to cry but also having so many questions. i also felt like you had -- now this project exist and i guess i want to take a step back, and one who i've talked about this is what an exercise in journalism this was.

did you feel like two different people bring this? >> yeah, definitely. i would say being a journalist is what allow this to happen. when i went to nctc my father and that is hard conversation with him and when he went to see my mother who i hadn't spoken to in several years or seen her in several years, i have to go as a journalist because i had to be passionate -- dispassion otherwise i could look inward. if i was like this agreed child of immigrants, we would've argued and we litigated and the conversations would not -- but because it was a journalist in these conversations i was able to interrogate them, then interrogate me come and ask hard questions. as the kid, as a child of parents it's hard to ask a parent difficult questions. it really is.

in my case being a journalist come look on you and i both been held up by trump in press conferences. you and and i both been in the situations. being able to but you can't have fear is that's happening. you bring that mentality to talking to your parents. there's nothing as afraid to ask. >> you bring the same kind of critical that you bring to questioning a a presidential candidate or a president to talking with your parents. -- [inaudible] >> when you're at a press conference, two totally different mindsets. i had to bring both those mindsets to my parents and sometimes it worked really welcome of the times they got very contentious. by the end of it i think the dispassionate site and he was

gone. it was an interesting process that i don't know i would do it the same with if i did the book today. but the book captured a year of my life that it was when i was turning 30. it was an interesting process. i'm glad we did it the way we did it. >> i sort of feel like it's funny because all of us i talked a lot of other journalists who read this book and they say this is an exercise in journalism breaks the number one rule of journalism which is you are the center of this. square that with exercising the journalistic building up of also being the center point of this story. >> you have to have a huge ego. >> right, i think that helps. >> you know, in the answer. i'm good. no. no, i actually do have real answer, which is the reason i thought i had a good story to share and the reason i made it myself the centerpiece or whatever, is whenever i tell

people as i told you when we were sitting back in 2016 that i hadn't see my mother so views come at hadn't seen my dad in more than tinges, that i don't know when to birthdays are, how they met, how they came to this country. i don't know anything about them. what my friends taste -- city, that's weird, my come is everything. i talked to my mom everyday. when you think about how unusual that is, i'm like okay, clearly reconnecting is also unusual. i might as well go out of my way to document this in some way. people might find the journey interesting. to your point of whether journalists should put themselves in the middle of something, sometimes if it's worthy of the story, if the story makes it worth it, but otherwise i think it should be sparingly used. i don't know there's another way to do this story though. >> no, i fully agree.

i think the other thing that was striking and perhaps surprising because i covered the trump campaign with you so that's the part i was really drawn to, but hearing you relive the moment where some ask you are you here shooting for isis? i remember you called me i was in the car is only time i was like i could publish step on the gas. i think he might needs a person with them. whether it was that moment forgetting arrested in chicago which was another insane moment, like those things or confront your brown this which is something you otherwise said you shunned. >> such as to back up, my parents were married in the '60s or 70s and they stayed married for 30 years. they had -- the reason they didn't get divorced because

divorces stigmatized in south asian society. i rejected my brown this because i saw it as an impediment to my life. i saw all my white friends around me were having great lies. their families were having dinner together. dads were coaching thin in the league and all the stuff. i always wanted to be white. i loved whiteness. i had this irrational, conflating of safety and whiteness. and then when i covered the trump campaign, like if you york county because as you mentioned you being asked asked if your member of isis. you're being thrown to the ground and arrested. you're being told to go back to iraq where you came from. after the election i was like okay, you are not white, man. yet embraced the you are, you get out who exactly you are. whatever you are, you are not white. i'm sorry?

[inaudible] >> a lot of it, , yet. it was a very strange thing. it shouldn't have. it shouldn't have come to that but it did. i'm glad -- i was one of benefits of having covered the trump campaign. i'll let you know if i think of any others, you know. >> me. >> yeah, right. i would say that's the case. >> i also sort of feel like it made you or i guess i wondered didn't making more connected to the part of your identity? seeing it through in-your-face in a really negative way on betrayal, did it bring you to a more positive place? >> i would say in the grand scheme of things, yes. but in the moment when you get asked if you're a number of isis, like, the guy just sized f the look to me and reduce me to

a terrorist. i didn't even say word to him. seeing that, at rally after rally, you know, that was a very strange experience. i don't know if ultimately it was a positive one but it taught me a lot about who i am and how i can't run from it anymore. >> i feel like when i i look bk at the part of my life and i'm doing that a lot because i kept a journal drink that and it's hard me to think about politics without going back to that place and those moments with the ten people we live with for 18 months. i wonder, i know this book teases out a bad experience, , t i wonder when you look back on that time with the moment that you think of that you like, this is emblematic of the 18 months for me? >> oh, man. so my favorite memory of being under campaign trail was being

on the plane. i'll tell you why. because the wireless never worked. we couldn't do any work on the plane, okay? we were all just hanging out because you can do anything else. for those brief moments were on the plane, five-hour ride, it could be a five-minute ride, we are, jenna, were hanging out. we're friends, family on the streets. that's when picture of me, you and jeremy sleeping on top of each other. >> so emblematic. >> from arizona. was that the whole campaign trail right there, like we're exhausted, were sleeping on top of each other and were on a plane and i was like and that's a whole campaign right there. i don't miss much about covering the campaign come to be honest with you. i know a lot of people -- [inaudible] >> sake in.

>> moved on to the dream beat. >> a lot of people were on this right now, they are politics reporters, politic junkies. for me i don't miss that light at all because it's exhausting. it's time-consuming. you don't get to really have a personal life or whatever. i do miss these relationships you make. because even since that time we are still close friends. we still talk often. that is the best part about being at a campaign event because they become your family and this to your family. that's really nice benefit. actual a change that. the points would be great. [inaudible] >> that's right. >> for everyone who's watching i want to remind you there's a a chat in the corner of the screen that i'll be keeping an eye on while her time of this. any questions you might have anything you might be wondering,

please feel free to just put in there and i'm going to circle back. nick, no, you did not pick that photo. it's an original. nick was in that tidy the steeple of the with us. i think that's 90% there. anyone else is cometary or questions, please in the corner of the screen, we are all eyes on it. i think another thing in your book that i was really drawn to was the talk about document this journey and if you like we got to go on the journey with you. i did know how this is going to turn out at the end. i'm so thrilled it turned out in a way that if you like you got a lot of closure and also some, i would call it a new relationship with your parents, which is great. one of the things that struck me was there's a a video of you in airports when you guys land in

india, and you are not sure if this guy was excited walking toward you was actually my dad. that's crazy. >> i'd not see my dad's face in 11 years. literally we never facetime. there was never a skype session. last time i saw my dad before that expense was i was 18. we had lunch on the campus when i was a freshman at boston university, and he looked old. he looked frail, kind of like life beat him up and whatever. of course i did not usually for india. he later in the and is something buddy and i don't see again for 11 years. what i expected was that except 11 years worse. we get to the airport, my fianée and i, and receive is confident guy striding towards us. i'm like, i'm expecting a guy in a walker, maybe he's remarried, you know, who knew?

i did know what he looked like. i remember i see them and his arms looked toned. he had as much air as i do, so far. you know, he's well-dressed. just think of flowers in his hands for wesley. he looked vibrant and full of life in a way that was really shocking to me. i just was not expecting that. two of the point about document this and not knowing how it ended, that was true for me as i was writing this book. a lot of what you see in the book is really writing as the journey goes on. even by chapters ten and 12 i did not know what chapters 15 and 16 were going to look like. so the plot twist, there are plot twist for me as i'm writing the book. it very much captured a a specc

time in my life. if i started writing the book to be a totally different book. i saw my debt and unlike what happened here? how do someone dh themselves. my dad managed to do it. [inaudible] >> i sort of feel like in talking to you but also in reading it that they really took to wesley so quickly. your dad not even knowing her and bring her flowers. your mom, the story i heard and are written in the book, they really seemed seem to bond quie want to bond with her. was that surprising to you? >> no. because for any of you here who knows wesley, wesley is not someone that takes no for an answer here like she's very aggressive. she's very defensive of me. she's a big advocate me,

apartments whole process. i think my parents since how much she was with me and, therefore, they were interested in her. that's how that came about. >> did help she was alone for this ride? >> she was the one who encourage me to reconnect with my parents. she's the one who helped with the book proposal, came up with the marketing plan. she's a recent office -- i dedicated the book to her alike that's almost underselling her contributions to this whole thing. may be easier, the great thing about wesley is because it has been to india before we were experiencing everything the same way. we were seeing evident for the first time. because i've not seen my mom in a while, need i wesley really, she was experiencing it for the first time as well. we were on this journey together and expensing if the same weight

and it took a big load off my shoulders shoulder to do that. it was really nice. >> i feel like a subplot of the book is your relationship with wesley. we were watching you guys, you're engaged now and i hope, i mean you and i talk a lot, not this way and hope it's okay i say this but i remember last summer you talk to me about wesley morgan before this, she had given you kind of a sense of home and a support structure that you said you had not experienced before. and i wonder -- go ahead. >> you're right, 100% right. i was telling wesley this last night. right before he went to sleep and i was telling wesley that she is my family, she is on for me and that's really great. i had to keep saying nice things about it because at some point she's going to realize how much i'm reaching your company how much i will and like i'm at the ladder and she's going to figure out the scan before we get married and i to run out the

clock. we're supposed to get married in a year. i want corona to go with for many reasons but obviously for will help in all this but because the longer waiting gets delayed, the higher chance there is wesley realizes that this is not, she can do much better. let's stay socially distanced please, for my weddings sake. >> i will make sure she is bolted down. >> please. >> but i sort of wonder if you needed that sort of sense of home as your foundation in order to be able to then go back and try to create new branches with your parents in with your immediate family? >> it's a great question. i don't know if i didn't meet wesley if i could do this. look, wesley has been very supportive and she's been so loving, and yes, that gave me a

model to go hang out with my parents. i don't know if this would've looked like a feistiness as a single dude that going to india. but i don't know if i would've done this without her. i didn't want to go on this journey alone and thankfully wesley was totally willing to go on it with me. i'm very fortunate for many reasons, and wesley is one of them. >> i feel a lot of people are crying. and you yet some love coming fm your future in-laws. >> that's nice. >> i also sort of feel like, and i'm classing cleansing done bei have some questions abound to you guys feel to copulate your own. i feel like this book also presents some question about -- one of the conclusion to come to that is frightening is you say may become what to make sure get this kind of right, but your dad

did everything in his capacity as a parent but that also might have been enough. how did you resolve that conflict as you trying to get back closer with him? >> i don't know that it got resolved. i think you have to kind of give effort points. i think my dad was a a perfect parent? no. he clearly wasn't, but i don't know that a necessary have the capacity to be because of our cultural differences, our generational differences and he never assimilated well to the united states. so we came from very different places, and so i think i'm not sure that my dad and the ever could've been on on the same page growing up. not after decades and decades of being in this country and him not totally understanding the world in which i was going up in. he did the best he could, and as i said, i don't know -- ever

good enough for me. i think if i spent more time as a child growing up whatever trying to understand where he's coming from would've been difficult process of how life worked out. when i was 30 and we started doing this, we were finally in the same space enough where we had the emotional capacity to do this with each other. i don't know we could've done this at 16 in the place i was, or 25 people. it's not like this was -- this was the only time this could've happened, or the earliest time it could've happened. >> what do you think about that in relation to your mom? she had to make choices that were maybe good for her but not for you as her child. how did you reconcile that? >> again, i don't know that i have reconciled it. at the end of the day i think the book, something my brother brother said to me, you know if

this book is about, this book is about forgiveness. and whatever flaws my parents had, i was flawed as well as a son. and my parents were flawed as mother and father, but it's never titian mother and father. it's also you, you bring things to the dynamic, and part of forgiveness is looking past shortcomings and looking at what they did bring to the table. that's how i've tried to come to terms with it is looking at what my parents did you and why they did it and what i did and why i did it, and say okay, this is -- you can either choose to hold on to crutches, just hold onto resentment, or you can choose to move on. you can choose to bridge the gap. i have tried to bridge the gap. has that worked perfectly? no. unfortunately this is not like hallmark movie where things get

resolved in a tidy manner. this is an ongoing process. there are good days, that is. especially now that this book is out. but at the end of a parent understood what i was trying to do and i think they respect that. >> that's one of the questions, too, right? being on a platform like this talking with friends and strangers alike about really intimate parts of your life, about your family, those things that i'm not supposed to cry but when we talk about in a bar in ohio. what's the reaction been to the fact that this is all out there in the open now? >> well, my parents with the manuscript a year ago, and i told them up front what i was doing like there was never any -- they knew i'm doing a book the whole time. they knew i was documenting everything. so they had the reaction to the book a year ago, and it was a complicated reaction. they both reacted very

differently. they both disagree with many different things in the book. i also think that all four of us, if we all wrote our own version of the book it would be four totally different books. this is my truth as best as i can say. the other thing is south asian families, they don't talk about feelings and emotions. they certainly don't write them down. so for them and seeing all this in print and sing how unhappy things were going up, it wasn't a comfortable thing for them. it disagree on many things but at the end of the day they both kind of came to terms like okay, we get what you're trying to do. i'm learning more about you, vice versa. my parents had a funny reaction to the book. my dad come once he was like my gosh, you wrote a book, how amazing. he said i'm going to write my own book now. >> that feels very and character

for the person -- >> it's a bit autobiography. you are very good with english. i shall seek your help. and so my dad has spent the last year writing an autobiography about himself called the untold story of my life, and he said he going to see me the nose and you like me to type them up. so i'm going to ghostwrite his autobiography. he's like, hey, i'm trying to get your book on amazon and i'm like, dad, why are you ordering my book on amazon? i can send you a copy. he just like all, it didn't occur to them i would send him a copy of the book in which he was the central figure in. they both had very funny,, look at reactions to it. ultimately i think they both understood what i was trying to do. >> do you feel like, i mean, i feel like there's so much forgiveness packed into these pages. the thing that i kept coming

back to as i was reading it was how much you're willing to take on yourself and even talk to me right now, you like they did things wrong on but i also dids wrong. i feel like this one of those uncomfortable questions but you were a kid. is it any sense in your mind of that was a power imbalance in terms of who had the power to affect these relationships early on? i was surprised how much of it you are willing to take on yourself. [inaudible] >> my brother said the same thing. you know, you're taking a lot of this. yeah, i don't, i think for a process like this to work you have to be willing to look inward and you have to be willing -- because it wasn't just come remember, it's not like we rejected at 20. we were rejected at 30. in that time i didn't reach out to my parents in the way i should have, you know. i didn't check in my dad asked me to should i or my mom asked

me i should appear relationships are a two way street. if it's not working, if there's estrangement it usually isn't a one side estrangement. is not how it works. do i take like full responsibility for the way our family dynamics were when i was six? no. that would be unreasonable. but there are other things i could have done that i think i wish i was a bit more empathetic towards my parents grew up. i wish i was a bit more understanding of the world and culture which a big up in. unfortunately, i could never, i never was. that's something i will carry with me forever because i think our lives, our family would've turned out much differently if i did. do i feel great about the journey with god on? i'm glad we did this the last couple of years, but it shouldn't have had to wait until i was 30 to do that.

that's kind of where, that's where taking it on myself comes from. >> it's obvious you were talking with your brother throughout this might he is noticeably absent throughout the book and obviously that's by design haven't spoken about that. talk about going on this journey alone without the only of the person who could will access what it's up in your house. >> i've always had a good relationship with my brother. my road is more than nine years older than me so always been an age difference between us and we'll never in the same period of life. when i was five he was entering high school. when i was in high school he was 25 when i was 25 he was married with two kids living in the suburbs of new jersey. the reason i bring that up, so for for a good portion of my childhood my brother wasn't in the house. his story and his connection to my parents are much different than my connection. in his case in some cases there

was much worse. in other cases it was maybe a little better. we have two totally different story. so inviting the story i did a conscious choice or under i didn't want to co-opt my brother story or pressure him into cooperating, point them into something that maybe he didn't want to get pulled into. if he -- [inaudible] what was his reaction when her you were writing this? >> he didn't really have one. not in a derogatory way. he was like that's great, , good for you you're doing this. maybe knew the end of the process i went to him and sent him the manuscript. he provides when the most profound moments in the book which is when he reads the manuscript, or a partially finished many scripts and said this book is not what you say this book is about. this book is about forgiveness. this book is not about reconnection with your culture. i didn't fully agree with them, but the notion of forgiveness i didn't really think of it in those terms until he said that to me.

he sent this long e-mail and it is really always stayed with me. the reason my brother is not as ttip in the book is not added any sort of malice or any sort of intentional -- are like ice nothing. this is my story and i want to call it my way. i didn't want to co-opt his and he didn't ask. he always respected my choice and he always kept his distance, and is always good about, he's on his about this, very respectful. >> if you have questions please put them there and also the little blinking thing that's in our video is purchase the book and if you have done that you definitely should. i think one of the things as jeremy will refill my wine glass, wesley should come back and refill your wine glass.

don't ask too much. great point. i wonder, knowing what you know now, knowing the way your parents responded to you reaching out, knowing the way to respond to this book, this project, what would you do differently? >> i don't know. i don't know i would've done anything carefully. i'm not a person that come like, i've made mistakes in life and those mistakes have made me into the person that i am come for better or for worse and there are a lot of character flaws i have. i totally, i acknowledge exists. but -- all, you didn't have to do that. oh, there is wine. excellent. [inaudible] >> don't know that i necessarily would have done anything different.

the only thing i would have done differently is i would've done it earlier. did it go perfectly? no. if you read the book you'll see there are pickups. but i would not have -- that's part of the process. the book was, i aim to capture the process exactly how it happened, whether it was the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do. it's a very genuine capture of the year. so my hope is, doing it differently is almost cheating in a way. i did it that way for a recent. >> i feel the only thing we know for sure in the book, like the journey was of reflection market. we knew your parents were playing ball with this. you knew you got the big interview. when you were reaching out before this book began, when you think about it and molding a book proposal was a part of you i was afraid your parent would just not be interested in going down this road?

>> it actually goes farther than that. when i reached at to my mom i hadn't spoken to her in so years and didn't have a phone number for her. i had used my e-mail. my fear went i called my mother was that she would no longer apply. because it didn't even know like where she was. and then i think that, i i nevr really had a fear, maybe a little, that they were like no, no, we don't want to take this on. but they were pretty game pretty early on. i think you're so excited to hear from me that any, i think a lot of parents would be, that they were excited to take part until, and then there were bumps along the road as the conversations that contentious and whatnot. i think they're excited to hear from me. >> because i remember when we're

on the campaign trail your dad would e-mail you and it always felt like he was excited to learn more about your life but you always a little bit reticent about going there. i felt like you weren't ready. >> i wasn't. i wasn't. he would reach out to our conversations, we talked once every couple of weeks. the conversations would last two or three minutes. it would be very, they would be tilted, really, they wouldn't talk about any substantive. i was always weary of being close to him and because it dit think you understand anything about my life. it wasn't until a couple years ago, okay, they might die, , if you haven't already, so if you want to anything about your parents, now is the time to reach out to them. >> such a stark, that's really the big moment. it's not like you feel like you're missing something in your life like well, they're going to die. that's a really, those are high-stakes to set up for yourself.

>> yes. i did know exactly how old they were when he first started this. when you reach a certain age, like when you're 75, like you don't have, this was very grim or whatever but look, you don't have half your life left at that time. in the case my parents, look, if they pass away, i might not even know about it, and it's not like totally out of the realm of possibility, 75, 80 years old. i knew that and i didn't want to go longer. because if i did i would regret it and carry it with me forever. like, that's a burden i would not want. >> what's a conversation -- harder conversation for you to have with them? >> i confronted my father about leaving the country without

telling anyone. i'll never forget this because it was the most ashamed i've ever been in my life. he was 18 -- i was 18 when he left, and it didn't ask him where he went. i didn't ask him why he left until 11, 12 years later. i remember asking at the kitchen table, this kitchen table in this apartment he has in salt lake, calcutta. it's kind of like the brooklyn of calcutta. he tells me after he visited me at bu he got into a car crash, a serious car crash, and that he went to the hospital, comes back to his apartment after. he like, he's in the apartment and then he kind of wakes up and he has, this is what he tells. he says i am going to die here in this country.

he never told us about the car crash. he felt that we did not care enough about him to tell us about the car crash. he felt we wouldn't care, wouldn't do anything about it. so we left. he said have to go home, go back to where i grew up. isolate them either. i. i have to rebuild my life. when i go there i will be the best father i can be to my kids. when i heard that, i was so shocked by it. this notion that my dad, my own father left the country to go back to a country he hadn't been to in 40, 50 years, whatever the number is, because he felt like his children wouldn't care if he died in a car accident. and that was a very difficult conversation to have. and this leads me to another really -- before we left calcutta after having this conversation we put an iphone camera on and were asked him to take a message to his

grandchildren in case they never get to meet. my dad says, you have to teach them about india. teach them about india? okay. but can you give them a lesson about advice like now to live the lives? kindest, whatever. no, that's all it got. teach them about india. really, that's what you're going to go with? then i realized something in that, is that what he meant was he wanted to pass on himself. when he met in the site but himself but he was too proud to say that because he didn't think that i would tell my children about him, you know, when he passed away, which look, who knows how many years he has left, that that would be the end of kind of his legacy on this plan because he wasn't close to us. that moment has stayed with me

for, since those two conversations. those were the two probably most memorable conversations i've had with my father. >> do you think that also stems from him watching you try to distance yourself, whatever he could do to be less indian, that he thought you wouldn't except that part of it, he wouldn't want that? >> is that like california and new york, distance themselves from each other. we were never close to each other. [inaudible] >> yeah, no, he's never observed it, right? that said something ever understood. he never understood that. he would never even think that way. because we never thought about that, about motives, he never noticed whether i distance myself because he had never

known what i was brown or not to begin with, you know? so i don't know. i truly think he was like i'm not close to my son so if yes kids are not going to know that i exist. >> jeremy is sitting here was observing and drinking wine. >> hey, jeremy. speaking of family members. if you have questions, please let me know of what i would give you by 15 minute monologue. >> either question. i guess, you know, two things. first of all i felt like some of the most emotional moment in the book were like a very simple moments. like you were just talked about a conversation with your mom, the first conversation you had, and like that was i think the moment that made me tear up the

most. >> you cut out. which moment? >> when you had your first conversation with your mom. >> mother's day, yeah, yeah. it's interesting and conversation happen after i get fighter will number. in that conversation we're saying nothing that were saying a lot. the lidar stands out, the think about the book is all the conversations you see happened exactly or on the page exactly as happened in real life. they are from recordings, videos, from copious notes. it's all very -- oftentimes the transcriptions are exactly correct. >> which makes sense, because it's from you. >> one of the lines my mom said to me, we will have lunch or something. yeah, i have nothing, come down. when she said i have nothing, she did mean i have nothing on the calendar. i know what she meant. she met i have nothing like in my life. so yes, we would. wesley has a question.

[inaudible] >> anyway, like the moment with my mom that got to me actually is we went to see a broadway show, chicago actually. because she'd never in her life really been out, you know? she never had someone take her out on a date. i took her to go see chicago. i remember, you consent kind of a jack ass. i know she's really into wholesome and like -- like 42nd street or lion king or latin. i'm a jokester sites like let's take her to the raunchy asked, you know -- >> she had it coming. >> raunchy as, you know, i think she would definitely disapprove of. i take her to go see chicago, and she was thrilled. she loved chicago so much. so with asking, mosher moms favorite song?

actually know the answer to that. -- the store at chicago and seven. this is like pre-need to allegations. [inaudible] >> -- comes out and what is billy flints first big number? [inaudible] >> yes, razzle-dazzle, thank you. comes out and cuba is an attractive got my mom is like, oh, okay. you know? look, my mother and i never talked about men she found attractive. but she was in the cuba. i just remember her like -- okay, i like this. it was razzle-dazzle. and then she said out of the

theater and she said i've never seen anything like this. it was good. with a great time and she enjoyed the show and i'm glad that we got to share that together. >> all right here here's my question. i feel like the moment especially when you're talking with your dad where you guys reached an impasse and you kind of decided a couple points sometime you brought it back up again but the couple points we just decided, you know what, we're going to leave it there, right? ..

i want to be a baseball player, to do this or whatever. and when i asked my parents, they couldn't even understand the question. when you grow up the generation before us when you grow up you don't think about the choices . you don't think about maybe i'll be anastronaut one day . my parents never thought that way as they were brought up okay, you're going to be an engineer or we're going to marry off to a man of our choosing and that will be your life and then you're going to have kids and you will raised those kids and people will take care of you and that is how your life will go and i wish i could have gotten abetter answer of what my parents thought their liveswere supposed to be . nick as a question here . if this book was a dmz font,

what would it beit's an unserious question but i have a serious answer .jake tapper when he read the book and blurred it, he sent me an email as he's reading the book and i swear it's not a name drop,it's a legitimate answer to the question . he says this book or this chapter is dancing whimsy and the opening of this, i'm going to butcher his words. could i have been anyone other than me because so much of my parents did not understand the concept of choice and i wonder what they would have been like if they were born into another situation? i wonder if i were born into that situation or my parents met someone else i wouldn't exist so jake says your book it is a dave matthews song and i said i appreciate it so that's your answer. i hope you don't mind >> i think megan had a good

question that i think about which is how did you know how to end the book? when did you decide now isthe time for the book to stop writing ? >> wow. that's a great question. i've never thought aboutthat . when did i knew it was timeto end the book ? the best answer i can give is i felt like we had made enough progress as in attorney but i started the book with acomedy show . and without giving anything away about plot or whatever, there's no comedy show about two years later or a year later and i think i always planned on some level the book ends, the book would end with the comedy because there's so much sadness in the book i didn'twant it to be an inherently sad book . i didn't want that to happen so i didn't, i wanted to end on an uplifting know and i

couldn't think of a better way to do it with ben with comedy so i think always on some level i subconsciously and on starting and ending it with comedy. >> i wonder if you feel like right now. >> on the campaign trail i did a couple, i did some open mics in burlington vermont and in des moines iowa. that's a story, westmore iowa. we were comics and we had a bunch of campaign reporters rolling in and saying are these yahoos walking inhere right now ? >> i think that was one of the best moments of the campaign trail because we always for the people who are in this chat have never covered a campaign, it is the most all-consuming thing which is why when i first started this talk and i asked what your memory that's emblematic, to me it's hard to unwind those 18 a month that basically two-year

period from the campaign because it was everything. it was completely immersive. though i feel like we were able to see you as aperson that you would be when you weren't at work . >> because i no longer am in that world, there's a lotmore of me now . a lot more of that. and i think that has coincided with a precipitous increase in my mental health . i sleep, it's so nice to sleep. i don't know how else you sleep but. >> i haven't stopped covering campaigns since that one. >> when i wake up in the morning , it's like 6 am, the first thing i do is not have to go to a twitter feed or watch oxen friends. it's just like the first thing i would do in the morning, i don't want to be watching cable news. with all due respect allmy

cable news friends . . give me a second day by day here. >> have you become a better driver ? >> number that's a question, do you drive any better or are you not allowed to drive ever at all ? >> one of the best stories, i don't know if ashley parker . >> they're lucky to be alive. >> i don't know if ashley harper is on this, i love you, whatever. we were driving in scotland went from was doing, he was doing a promotionalevent for his golf courses during the campaign . >> actually is here. by thegrace of god she is here . >> we went in a car to drive four hours between the two

golf courses and ashley parker, janet johnson of the washington post and john stanton of buzzfeed for some reason didn't want to drive or could not drive so i offered to drive us all. >> on the other side of the road. >> i'm such a bad driver i got pulled over for drunk driving even though i did not drive, even though i did not drink at all. i got breathalyzer and everything and it was the most harrowingmoment of our lives . >> i wasn't even there and i tell this story to people who don't even know you. it is so unbelievable and so amazing. >> no one's going to believe me but actually refused to drive with me the next day. and i don't blame her. it's so totally reasonable. >> i horrified myself that 4 and a half hour drive and it was slow and great.

we did not swerve. i'm like, ashley parker almost caused an accident and i hope she apologizes to me for her behavior for that. [laughter] i miss you all. >> that was another weird moment if we're taking a brief tour down memory lane because i do have one more question about the book after this but remember when you and me and i think noah walked across the golf course and it looked like we were characters in lord of the rings area there's this picture of us wheeling our camera here, tripod camera. it was. >> we have one more question. >> i have one morequestion . time is a concept these days i think the thing that i have been thinking about is i read

this book 6 months ago but now in light of the coronavirusand the pandemic that we find ourselves in , i think a lot of people are looking forconnection . there thinking about maybe people who they aren't connecting with that they feel they should be. i think that moment, this is a book moment for abook about forgiveness even if you don't think about your book that way . is the key to forgiveness for you someone who's gone on this journey, to just except that maybe there's going to be things not everyone agrees on but that you all want to moveforward and that's how you do it ? >> it's interesting. i think one thing i want to make clear is a lot of people are like, not a lot of people but i've gotten a question like if i'm not brown, will i understand this book. i think this book is for anyone who has a relationship withsomeone that should be better . and we're all like, we having

our relationship tested in some way. a lot of us are maybe the kind of people we're not used for spending alot of time with and i contest a relationship . iwould say this . empathy is really important. really important in anything whether it's connection or forgiveness or whatever so having empathy is the starting point and looking inward. truly looking in themirror and saying what did i bring to this dynamic ? because often times we like okay, this person wasmean to me . this person broke up with me or whatever. the waiter didn't treat me well and we all can think aboutwhat did you do picture to contribute ? looking in the mirror i think is really important. especially with many of your own with people that you're notused to spending a lot of time with . i don't know, i really don't like i'm definitely more aware ofit as a result .

>> i think it's so important in this moment where were all reaching out for connection to think about how we connect with people and what we are willing to give and take in these relationships that is so important that it's something i come back to a lot in thinking about your book and for those of you keeping an eye on the chat ashley parker, it is the time when jerry and i ditched the three of you go to dinner on our own and we you walked in on us at the restaurant read our relationship was still a secret. >> we bought for days we were somad at each other . >> you began this thought process, best of luck and i hope that you document every single part of it because you will never get tohave as much fun or in as much pain as you're about to have . i can't wait to read it and thank you so much for doing this. i love you dearly and all

that. i wouldn't want to do this with anyone but you. >> it's true and cheers. as we wrap up i want to remind you there is that bright green shiny amazing thing that says purchase this translation by sopan deb. click it, buy it, do all the things if you haven't read it and then we can look back on this conversation and say how illuminating this conversation was. >> at an event at the atlantic history museum historian liana keith discussed the origins of the republican party . here's a portion of the program . >> so first they believed campus should be a priest state and they were willing to organize themselves and innocence, they were willing to take up arms as necessary to defend the idea of a three camp and campus went to resist the slave act

operation in the north and in the west. to organize these committees to solve courthouses with battering rams to rescue people caught up in what they saw as an unjust system, to be a radical, to be a john brown in the 1850s and the republican party was home to a number of people, radical factions who were deeply engaged with john brown as conspirators, as fundraisers and it's notalways a secret six , brown bought a lot of rank-and-file republicans to make donations, who argued and apotheosis radical heroes, and brown had been executed as a traitor. to be a radical, to lean into that idea and when shortly

afterharpers ferry was taken down , to be a radical republican meant to be in favor of a hard war, to be in favor of a war that was not in and to be resolved quickly with demand so much of the nation that people became willing to confront slavery and to terminate it and so for the radical republicans in the words of ralph waldo emerson who was a radical, it's a good doctor but bad is sometimes better and the anatomy of the nation was the only way that we were going to address these on themental issues . >> to view the rest of this talk visit our website, booktv.org and type liana keith or the title of herbook when it was grand into the search box at the top of the page .

>> of next, we take a look at books by political satirist pj or work and then booker prize-winning author arundhati roy and what president trump and winston churchill have in common beginning now on the book tv . >> now we like to highlight some programs from our archives with a equals arrest pj o'rourke. over the past 20 years he's appeared on both ddclose to 20 times . first up, in 2007 on a monthly call in program in-depth. pj o'rourke discussed his politics, writing and why he uses humor to address political and social issues . >> this picture on the left, isthat a real picture ? >> oh yeah. not a way. that was i would guess 71. not quite positive