according to random house, becoming sold 10 million copies worldwide during the first six months. it was released november 2018 that june that she preview the book in a talk with the librarian of congress with his from the american library association meeting in new orleans. >> and now the person you all came to see. [cheers and applause] michelle robinson obama. [cheers and applause] a lawyer, author, and the wife of the 44th president of the united states, barack obama.

[cheers and applause] as first lady she has become a role model for women and girls. and an advocate for healthy families, servicemembers and families, higher education and international adolescent girls education. her much-anticipated memoir, becoming, will be published in the us and canada november 13, 2018 by crown, a division of penguin random house and really simultaneously in 24 languages. [applause] considered one of the most popular first lady's. [cheers and applause]

mrs. obama invites readers into her world to chronicle the experiences that have shaped her from her childhood on the south side of chicago , to her years as the executive balancing demands of motherhood and work to her time spent at the world's most famous address. warm, and wise, becoming is a deeply personal reckoning of a woman of substance who has defied expectation and who story inspires us to do the same. we are also fortunate to have librarian of congress carla hayden hosting a conversation with mrs. obama today. nominated for this position of library of congress by president barack obama

february 2016 and her nomination confirmed by the u.s. senate july 2016. sworn in as the 14th librarian of congress september 2016. carla hayden and first lady mrs. obama come together now for an in-depth conversation around her forthcoming memoir becoming and the experiences that have impacted her life, her family and her country. michelle obama. [cheers and applause] >> thank you so much there's a

lot of librarians here. [laughter] you guys are looking good. [laughter] hi carla. how are you? >> there have been many thrills but to be a librarian and sitting here with you is the most. here i am the interviewer. >> just remember our days. i have known carla since i was a baby, a baby professional. you shouldn't be nervous. >> what a professional you were because the public library to come back from pittsburgh the library was part of your portfolio. >> yes it was. >> it made such a difference to have somebody that understood libraries and read

and government. [laughter] >> that was her. [applause] that was not shade. not at all she was just making a point. >> because i was coming in from an academic teaching library. >> we go way back. >> and it's been a big part of your family. >> absolutely. we are readers, the obama's. we started reading to the girls when they were babies, infants because as a little kid i loved to read aloud and would set up the stuffed animals and the barbies and read to them and show them pictures and then go back i love the act of reading

aloud so when i had kids they were my real babies i could read two. i read to them all the time. all the time i know every word of any dr. seuss anything by heart still and as the girls grew up we continue to incorporate books as a form of family activities. when they got older we started to read more complex books together. barack and melia read all of the harry potter books aloud from cover to cover than she could see the movie after they read it that was their father daughter ritual. i stayed out of that because you want the father to have a thing. so i know anything about harry potter because i would not even get involved in that. that's their thing. when sasha got older i read

life of pi with her and then we saw the movie. we were big comic family readers. we love calvin and hobbes. yes. reading one is a part of the way we put our kids to sleep at night. i felt music reading culture was an important part of their development from very early on. we are big readers. >> one of the images from when you were in the white house during the holidays, you would be going to the bookstore. >> and give books as gifts. >> that's the only place he knew how to go as president. he could golfing it to the bookstore. those were the two things he felt comfortable doing outside

of the white house. that was an annual ritual of he and the girls to go to one of the bookstores for the holidays. in chicago you know that bookstore, that was our neighborhood store we like to go to. yes bookstores and libraries were a big part of our life early on. my first experience going to the library, i was for it was like the first official time i got identification you feel big time with your name on it prick i remember going to the library in the neighborhood three blocks from our house and my mom was a housewife at the time would take us.

that was my first major big girl thing i could do to get my library card and watch them put me into the official files. i felt important i didn't know what to do with it because i didn't have a wallet or purse. [laughter] but i felt special just to have it. it was a community space. like for all of you, it's a major part of any community and that was the place for our families to go to get the early books, dick and jane , you go to the children's corner and then it that one day i would graduate to go upstairs where the books were darker that is where the serious books were upstairs. >> did you ever get to go? >> yes. i graduated one day but that's when the library became work.

research papers, do we decimal system. only here when we get a shout out for the dewey decimal system. [laughter] i love you all. i do. [laughter] see you continued and went to school all of that and in your life got busier. how did you find time to read it just for pleasure? we all went to know could you read anything for pleasure? >> yes. there were moments of escape. today however i spent most of my time selfishly focused on my book. so that's what i am reading. [laughter] it's almost ready. it's coming i have been immersed in the process so this year has been tougher because i'm trying to stay in my voice.

but when i do have time my chief of staff melissa by the way is more excited to be here then she was to meet bruce springsteen. [laughter] melissa is my book recommend her and she loves you all. i may lose her here in this convention center tonight. she might leave me. she's been with me from the very beginning of the campaign that she is my book guru i usually read what she tells me i should read. she throw some books in my bag on a long trip. but lately? i have eclectic list. i have read commonwealth. i love a good story that takes me outside of myself. everything ladysmith has done. accidentally reread it. i read it two years ago it was

on my shelf and i have i read this? i started to read it and i thought i know what's going to happen. so this past decade i would forget what i have read and then i realized by the third chapter i read it already but i finished it. i love her storytelling in characters. may just finished reading very powerful the nightingale i read the other day shout outs for the nightingale. [laughter] so i love stories i love to escape. i needed that escape over the past ten years to get out of

my story and into somebody else's. >> were you able to do that? >> yes. i couldn't read in the white house there was too much going on. we were running so fast whenever i got a chance to sit down and pick up a book maybe i would get a sentence and i would fall asleep literally sitting down i don't know if i was napping or passed out i couldn't tell the difference i would wake up it would be an hour. that's how the white house years felt. so usually on a longer trip by kate get into a book, but it was a hectic eight years. >> you said pick up a book so that is a physical book? >> yes. im not in the reader i like to have a book in my hands. [cheers and applause]

even in my writing process come i like to hold it. i cannot edit things on the computer well. i feel that i have to write down my thoughts. i can jot down things on the iphone but that's hard have to feel it and touch it. i am old. sorry. [laughter] we still have a lot of books in our house and my husband who is an avid reader still loves books around everywhere we have gon gone, boxes and boxes i cannot get rid of he will not allow me to do it. we have books on shelves. >> as a library and i did some research and to understand you actually worked in a library bindery? >> yes. one summer bob goldman's book

bindery. this summer right before i went to college. friends mother worked they are in it was my first real job. before then i did the neighborhood job. the family paid me to do everything tutor, piano, train the dog, watch their kids, this mascot meter high school but then i graduated to a job downtown. our friends mother worked there. it entailed doing one thing 1000 times every day all day over and over. i put the little metal thing in a whole them pass the cardboard over to the guy who would slam it down. i would take the metal thing and put it in the hole and pass it. i was good with doing that for the first day even.

[laughter] i was aiming at finishing it i thought there would be an end there would be thousands and i would prove that i was so fast i could be done and then i realized it's never over. they just kept coming those little pieces of cardboard in the little things and that went on for weeks and weeks and weeks doing the same thing and i just thought my god i am ready for college. [laughter] i can do this. but it taught me great respect for the men and women who do that work every day. that thankless work that makes it possible to have books and folders and i learned work ethic at the bindery. the dozens of people in the plant who came there to do the same job every day for years and years and years.

it reminded me of my father. the blue-collar workers who didn't look for passion in their jobs or have the luxury like we did to think about the things that we love to put food on the table. that was my first experience shoulder to shoulder with men and women making a living for their families. >> you saw it first. >> my father, frazier robinson. every value i have in me came from my mother and father and watching them day today. my father was a blue-collar worker, working the same job his entire life. at the water filtration plant. he contracted at the time of his life so i never knew him

to be able to walk without the assistance of a cane. he got up every day. as a shift job some days he was days and sometimes nights sometimes evenings so the schedule changed. remember he put on his white t-shirt and his blue uniform to get his crutches to make his way out the back door to go to his job without complaint, without regret because he was proud he had a job that allowed him to invest in his children, me and my brother. he put two of us through college with that salary and princeton at that. [applause] we went to those schools long before they had the financial assistance that puts you completely through.

my parents had to pay a portion of our tuition and he made sure it was paid on time. we could never be late not register for classes. so who i am today is because of my parents and that hard work ethic and the values of your word is your bond. do what you say you're going to do. trust is important. honor. honesty. i saw my father behave in that way every single day regardless of race or station in life. that's who i think about when i read my book and how i carry myself in the world. i do what i think marian and frazier would expect me to do and i hope to be that person for them. [applause] >> my mom is here.

>> time on. - - hi mom. >> whenever anything happens she says mrs. robinson. . . . . >> those were jobs that had been away from home usually most of the week . and istill have a full-time job . i was at any point in time i was a professional with a big job of my own and we had two little kids. and we had, we could afford

health and we had a couple of great babysitters, but the time i lost that one good babysitter and that crushed me likenothing else . when glow, when she said she had to leave because she needed to make more money i thought i was losing an arm and barack was trying to consoleme and i said dude, just get out of here. you are of no help to me . i need glow, i don't need you . you do nothing for me. but i remember that pain andi thought how can i go to work every day and not know that my kids are good . at there with somebody who loves them which is not to get on a soapbox which is why affordable childcare is so important because so many having access to that kind of security, for all the families out there who don't have achoice.

they have to go to work . i know that pain of what it feels like when you don't know your kids are good good, not just being safe but they're in a place where somebody loves them and is going to instill values in them and read to them andtake them to the library is and is not going to plop them in front of the tv so i was about to quit working . and i thought i just can't do it. i can'tkeep up the balance and who stepped in but my mom . whowas not yet retired . what she would come over the crack of dawn. allow me to go to the gym. start getting the kids ready for school . she wake them up, fix breakfast. i come backand grab them, she go to work. she get off , she come and pick them up. get them home, start dinner. by that time i get home and we had our routine down and there's just something about having your mom in that place where you know she will kill someone for her grandchildren. so she was the grandmother at

the pickup line. she was going to be the first one of the pickup line cause she didn't want her littlest grandbabies walking around wondering where their ride was. she would get there and hour before pickup to be the first car. so that she'd see her babies and say bring them here. you don't, you can't pay for that. so we brought that energy with us to the white house. and we needed it, that kind of no-nonsense solid, tell it like it is, unimpressed with everything kind of personality that is marianne robertson. she did not want anybody doing her laundry at the white house. shecould do her adult laundry just fine . she was notorious. we had housekeepers and butlers and everything. at the whitehouse. she was like to touch my underwear. i've got . too old for that.

>> my moms role model. >> she thought the girls to do their laundry so they had laundry duty with grandma . >> so she helped keep them grounded. >> oh my god, yes. she kept the whole white house rounded. and everybody is to go up to her room. the butlers, the staff baby in their chitchatting and she was in shooting the breeze, telling their stories. she does have a whole little counseling session of their in her sweet area of rooms but she kept us humble. andfocus on what was important and she was my sounding board . anytime anything crazy happened over the course of the day,the first thing i would do , her suite of rooms were on the third floor above us and i go there and i sit onher couch . he had on msnbc or something and she be trying not to talk about what was on the news until i let her know i was

ready to talk about it and she would do what she always did. sit there and just listen. and then what. because my mother was not going to solve your problems for you. he was going to listen and she would say whatyou think about that . and then you figure it out and by the time you leave you figure out that's great. so so much of my ability to get out there again and again had to be with growing up with that little counseling room and sitting and having marianne robinson go you'll be fine. just go on back down there. can't stop now. >> did she ever tell you, you know you talked about that a lot, what are you going to do ? did she say you talked about that a lot, what are you going to do about it ? >> my mother and i write about this, about how my mother, my parents had a really advanced sense of

parenting at a very early age . they taught us how to advocate for ourselves very early. silver expectation was like you know how to fix your problems. you know what to do. and when you teach kids at an early age that they have a voice that's worth listening to number one and that their opinions actually matter and that's what they get day in and day out at their home at the dinner table, to adults listening intently and asking questions and you know, encouraging kids to contribute . those were our dinner tables . when you came home from school with a problem you could air but youhad to go back and solve it .so 40, 50 years old my mother wasn't assuming all that she needed to solve any problems i had as first lady. her expectations were you will do this and you will do

this well because you know how to do this so there was never any need to her to pretend like she had togive me directions . she knew she instill those values in me when i was four and five and seven so she had done the work . >> you mentioned to you almost thought about quitting because you did have and i don't know how many people realize what high-powered positions you had as a career woman. and balance that. >> before i was first lady? oh yes. i had a job before i was first lady, everyone . >> and a prettyhigh-powered one. executive vice president . >> i was smart, continue to be and sometimes that's why when i get the question how did you know what to do as first lady? okay, i went to princeton. harvard law, i was a lawyer. work in the city.

worked with carla, working on libraries and i worked at economic and planning development, was vice president hospital . maybe it was osmosis. i don't know. >> you were able to use some of those experiences. >> i didn't come to the position of first lady a blank slate and that's what happens in society. you become a spouse all of a sudden and i felt and i talk about this in the book of how i felt myself becoming a spouse. and i went from being an executive to becoming a spouse. where the first thing people would talk about is what chooses she wearing and it's like oh number people. you're not focusing on my shoes, right? i'm standingin front of a military family . we're doing important things but so yes, there were moments in my profession because the burden of child

rearing fell on me as a woman . there was a part of my trajectory as my husband ascend faster and higher and louder , there was a challenge of how do i make sure my kids are saying and i have a career. but yes, that started very early. those doubts, those questions of how do you balance it all and is it fair where on his rocketship ride.when i have one too. but that's something that i write about. that's what you learn, the balance in marriage and i tell young people this all the time, particularly young women is that what i've learned is that you can have it all but you usually can't have it all at the same time. and that's a myth that even having expectation of having it all. it's a self for young people, young couples, young men and women with children.

the notion that you're not successful if you don't have it all. well, it's hard to balance it all but i started to learn that life is long and there are trade-offs that you make and i think that the trade-off of stepping off of my path until at least i found a child care solution that worked for me which was my mom. entertained the notion of stepping off of my track because i felt like i had these two kids and is, i brought them here. so my first priority is to make sure they are okay. i can't save the world if i household isn't solid. so but the other thing i learned at that point in time when i was ready to jump off professional track , istarted not caring . what people thought about me professionally . so i felt more freedom to ask for what i needed .

so i wound up staying in my career because i had an opportunity to become the vice president of unity affair at the university of chicago, the president was looking for a new person to have that vision and i had just had tosha. she was four months old and i was like not doing really don't care. don'tcare about work . but one of my good friends said you should interview because this is different and i was like okay. i don't care. so i took, i was still breast-feeding so i had soffit in the grid and i said we're going to aninterview, baby , were going to see this man and meal care, so we're going and he needs to see all of me. had a baby and a husbandwhose us senator, whatever you was doing at the time . do you want to hire this? let me tell you what it will take you now need as much money. i'll need flexibility. i lay down a whole list of demands i do are going to have him running in the other

direction . because i really felt the freedom to be like if you can do this, this this to me and maybe i'll think about. and he said yes, to all of the whole list. of all the things i have for you and i thought wow. iguess i have to try this now . but what i learned there is that women as individuals, you have to ask for what you need. and not assume that people are going to give you what you need. and that taught me that i can define the terms of my professional life in a way that i didn't feel the freedom to do so i thought if i'm going to do this i'm going to do this in a way that provides balance and i told both there, don't expect me every meeting to come to meetings where not doing anything because i'm going to the halloween parade and

that's important. and i'm doing my job and i'm doing well this meeting isn't necessary so i stopped freedom for the first time in my professional life to ask for what i needed knowing that i was worthy of it. that i was valuable to them even in all my complicated miss, i was still giving them value but i had to learn to appreciate that value. before i can ask for whati needed . >> and not be afraid at all. >>which is easier said than done . so i understand, it is not easy to tell somebody that you're worth a lot. especially for women. we have a hard time saying that about ourselves that i know my work and i canput a monetary number on it to . there is a value to it. and those are the kind of things that i'm exploring in the book as well.

and i'm not really just trying to pump the book but these are things i've been thinking about for the last year. i've been reliving these things and figuring out what it's taught me . so i'm writing about all that . if i sound a little like therapy here. >> . >> and you're having the time to be able to step back cause you mentioned going and going. you didn't really have time to reflect area things were happening. >> was no time to reflectin eight years . we did so much so fast and we also knew we didn'thave the luxury to make mistakes . when you are the first, i mean, i've lived my life as the first, only one at the table and rock and i knew very early that we would be measured a different yardstick. making mistakes was not an option for us. not that we didn't make mistakes but we had to be good. we have to be outstanding at everything we did area and when you'reoperating at that level , and you are trying to

live up to the expectations of your ancestors, of your father. when you're the one that's laying the red carpet down forothers to follow . so yes, we were moving fast. i was starting an initiative almost every year during the eight yearsthat i was there . and when i started an initiative, there was a lot of work that went into before hand because coming from this work as a professional, i knew that strategic thing about it and an initiative had happened. the groundwork hadto be done . in fact when we started let's move before we even launched it, we spent a year meeting with every expert in the field. we had already developed partnerships before we had even announced it. we had focus groups. we were meeting with legislators and policymakers

know that when we stepped out into the arena we knew what the falls would be. we know where the partnerships needed to be and where the holes were and that was work we were doing at the same time that you're doing state visit and halloween parties and christmas decorations . so your life as one with the paddling legsunderneath . that was eight years of that. so that was time something major would happen at the beginning of the week, let's say you met the popeor something like that . let's just say that. you know, this is the weird thing. at the kind of stuff we did. i met the pope or i'm hanging out with the queen. that's my life. >> that was when we. >> it could be in one week. a state visit. my first trip to africa that

was my solo tripinvolved doing push-ups withbishop desmond tutu. literally and i was like , please get up . please don't and he said no i'm going to do push-ups. come down michelle. i just looked around and i said if something happens to him it's not me . so i was doing push-ups with bishop tutu. i gave aspeech to a group of young african women leaders . and nelson mandela. we went on a safari. i went to botswana, that's like 4 days all that kind of stuff would happen in 4 days and then you go to next week and i could literally forget everything that just happened the week before because something like that would be happening in the next week so to be able to remember it all, to keep it all in your head, i would find myself forgetting oh yeah , i went to prod.

i literally forgot that i've been to prod and i'm not, i mean, we had this conversation and somebody said what do you think of prod and i said i've never been to prod and my chief of staff said yes you have and i said i've never been to prague ever. he said yes andwe went back and forth and took a picture of me in prague going you're right . i forgot all about that. i was therefore 2 days. that's how, that's what the pace is. you can forget the major things not because they weren't important but theyget crowded out by the next series of issues and demands . so i don't know what the question was how we got on this . >> you forgot the question . >> when you think about all of that and then you have the twolittle ones .

>> oh, my kids. i never forgot about them. >> so when people are thinking about balance and how you do it, any advice for how people can try. >> there's a lot of advice for balance. my balance is crazy area because you're the first lady but you're also trying to go to the public and the soccer game and you know, i told the story of how iraq went to the parent-teacherconference and he's got a big motorcade. it's big . it's a lot of stuff. and then men with machine guns, black sniper gear. they follow him everywhere. their trucks and their leaning out looking at you like i will kill you because it's their job area but when there at goodwill, fourth grade on the roof of the, on the undergrad, of the elementary school, even melia was like dad,come on .

so everybody was sort of okay when dad didn't go. so sort of politely going you don't have to come to the fall winter concert . it's okay. will take a picture. >> you could take a pass. but i would be there and mom would be there and you're trying to be a normal parents in the midst of it . when you know, your kids invited over for sleepovers and you have to explain to them we will need your social security number and there will be dogs sweeping your house and they're going to ask you if you have guns and drugs and you'll have to tell them sorry miss julia's mom but this iswhat it means to have sasha over but it's going to be fine . >> they will have fun. >> but kids have fun. they learn how to work past all of that. but your balancing. at least i was balancing not just active being a mother

being the first lady of the first daughters who had their own detail. all the time. so imagine trying to go to prom with eight men with guns . and doing anything else that you're trying to do as a teenager . with eight menwith guns . iraq and i were very happy about it . >> but you even had to learn how to like disciplined them. without letting them think that their agents told on them. so all parents, you understand. i had to lie a little bit about where i gotmy information from . like ,how did i know that no parents was a party ? julia's mom called me and told me. not because i got a full report and detail. it's like, whyare they so

dumb not to know . how do you think i knew. that's our, those are some of our parenting scenarios . so my goal is as a parent was to try to make sure my kids had normalcy that's a different set of challenges for the average parents, but here's the thing that i learned. one of the things i learned living in the white house is that kids don't need that much. if they know you love them. unconditionally, you can live in the white house. you can live in, you can live in a littlebit apartment i grew up in . home is what you make of it inside. it's thatinteraction you have every day . and it doesn't have to be perfect. it can be broken and funny and odd in many ways. an hour on this was a level

of dysfunction that most families will never experience but it was odd area and kids are resilient. they make it through. which iswhy i think about all the kids that don't make it through . the cause it takesa lot to bring a kid . it takes a lot but there's so many broken kids which reminds us how bad we are doing. cause you got to do really messed up stuff the kids to send them off. they have to come from a brokenness that is so the and off . and we have to see that inour children and understand that when kids act out there's a reason for it . there is no such thing as bad kids . kids are born bad . [applause] they are not. they are products of their situation . so i learned to give myself a break because my kids are loved and they're going to be

fine and we make a lot of wrong calls as parents but we hold them to high standards as people. we don't measure them by things and grades. we measure them for how they interact in the world. how do they treat their friends, how do they treat each other . is like kindness and compassion and empathy. these are the things wehave tried to teach them over the years . and here's the thing. kids watch what you do, not what you say. so the biggest thing that barack and i could ever do me good parents to our kids is to be good people in theworld for them to see every day . and that is true whether you're the president andfirst lady or you are marrying and the fraserrobinson. those standards,they don't know titles .

they don't know income . that's just all that kids need . and as you librarians know who you're working in the communities and you're seeing these kids coming to your doors and they come with such promise and they just want somebody to love them . they just want somebody to tell them that they are okay and that's one of the things i've tried to do as first lady with kids, i did so much with kids because i always thought this is the interaction that could change a kids life. this one hug. you never know what can make a difference. >> all of this you're giving to the communities, you're giving to your children but you've also, i've heard you say it that sometimes you

have toput yourself first or not feel guilty about taking care of your self . >> yes ladies. men too but let's talk to the ladies a little bit on this one . because we do that, right? we put ourselves forth on our priority list after everybody else and sometimes we are not even on our own list at all. it's so filled with somany obligations and the guilt that we have . this is nothing new but that oxygen mask metaphor is real. if you can't save someone if you are dying inside. and that death can look like so many different things. it can be our sense of self-worth. our own physical health. our mental well-being. all of that is, if we let that go and we don't nurture it as women we are not good to anybody else.

and that is something to that you have to practice and that's what i had to learn. i had to learn that because i didn't even see that in my mother. my mother was one of thosewho didn't do anything for herself. my mother died herown hair until she turnedgreen. mom, it's green, it's not working. just go to the hairdresser and she said it's fine . >> i can relate to that . >> it's green, iremember that . so i grew up with women who didn't put themselves first . and i thought i want to show mygirls something else . and i want them to see that being a good woman out here in the world means that you're smart, you're educated . yes, you are gentle andkind and loving but you can do some push-ups .

you're going to think about what you put into your body, what you eat. you're going to take time out for yourself. you're going to invest in your relationships with your friends. i thought it was important for my girls to see me having strong friendships with women in my life so i have a posse of women who keep me sane . and the posse started early in my life. i always had a crew of women, crew of girls. i had my lunchtime girls that we went over to each other's house at lunchtime and play jacks and complained about the teacher and just analyze things and watched all my children thenwe got ourselves together and were fortified and could goback in . that was my early group . when my kids were young i had a strong group of women do these things and there are a

major part of my life and i couldn't have gotten through those early years without them because we were all at varying stages of our professional careers. somewere single parents . some had husbands who traveled but every saturday we would get together and we started when the babies were in those cradles and we set them downaround each other in a circle so they could look at each other . and then we talked about everything. as, are they walking yet? all those questions you have as a new mother and you don't know whether you're doing anything right. it was good to be aroundwomen who like you, they didn't know anything either. we were all just messing up and it was okay . but we became our most important confidants as mothers raising kids and our kids, all these kids who have come together are like cousins and their out in the world and they've all done well which was another lesson i learned.

you can parents all kinds of different ways. if there's love and consistency and a foundation and security they're going to be okay so we learned to let ourselves off the hook and then we started doing fun stuff together. those same women i would do a boot camp with at camp david . >> .. >> .. . >> we were getting healthy

together so as we got older we had sessions on menopause and other things that i cannot talk about here but that group was my crew throughout the white house years and that was part of that self-care that we all felt good about and got stronger over those eight years. we as a group of women got physically and mentally stronger together in ways that, i love my husband. he is my best friend but they are more fun sometimes. don't tell him. [laughter] he doesn't know that i have more fun with them sometimes but they gave me the kind of fortification that i needed. i encourage young mothers to understand we were not meant to parent in isolation.

and so many because of circumstances transferred are living away or a military family, the young military mom moves away and is alone and wonders why is this so hard? because you are not supposed to do this alone. children are met not meant to be raised in isolation. we need community. it does take a village i encourage young women to build their village if not at home then that will be your salvation to keep you in balance in a way we don't appreciate. >> what about the fun. >> i just told you a bunch of stuff we had. push-ups are fun. [laughter]

>> it would not enjoy working out with me? [laughter] you can tell she doesn't work out because she thinks you keep score. [laughter] yes we made fun. we made sure we had fun. we wanted the white house to be a place of find particularly in tough times. we went through tough times crisis, shootings, the amount of greece, i was gonna say the grief that we had to help the country get through. you cannot have all crisis the country needs a moment to feel they can celebrate even in the darkest time. we had halloween at the white

house. kids came in mostly military kids and families come around the south lawn it was all decorated and the house was orange everybody in costume. they could trick-or-treat at the white house. been a big act performing in the evening usually they agreed to do a separate performance or a workshop with young kids and we would fly the men from all over the country. >> and every major star came to the white house, we had the whole cast of hamilton come back and perform. [applause] it was a full circle moment for me because we first met

lynn manwell at the very first cultural event we did at the white house was a spoken word event. because that is rap if you don't know. cool poetry and had never been done in the white house in the east room with george and martha standing there we did that is a first event finding the hottest young voices and this young kid lynn manwell and said well you perform young man? he said i will do a rap about alexander hamilton. and we said. [laughter] that is when you remember your the president and first lady you cannot laugh in the face of your guess. what? are you kidding? and then he went on to perform the first number that he had prepared.

and obviously it was amazing. afterwords we said that is really good. he said yes i'm going to do a whole broadway show. and we. [laughter] good luck with that kid. and then it blew up. and we invited the whole cast back and they first did a full day of workshops for kids all over the country so lyric writing and you name it they were in the red room and wrapping in the blue room and dancing in the yellow oval. you name it. and then they did the performance and then all the least room they all knew the words but they never so the performance. are they always involved kids. they make everything better to

make sure that this white house belongs to them in kids of all backgrounds felt this is a place where kids were supposed to be. they were to experience everything going on in there. and everything that we could do the most fulfilling and impactful that we did in those eight years. then i'm wrapping in the blue room. >> we did a whole design workshop went to put it together we had the top designers come into all the american designers not make it about me.

so they all came for a day with all the young designers around the world making jewelry in different rooms. they came together for panel and they got to meet all the big names and spent the day with the kids. and the ways i tried to think about linking it to what was important you like my shoes but let's teach kids how to be designers. not just how you look but what you do. >> and the kids left feeling they were at the white house. >> that they were something special. >> we never publicized working every year they had some men

usually kids from the dc area. and those that are in the middle probably not a lot of programming to be paired up with the administration and valerie jarrett was a mentor and the first female executive chef they would meet with the kids all the time but they would come together once a month in the white house. it's interesting to see the transformation. they were shy and cannot look me in the eye. they were nervous. you are in the white house meeting michelle obama.

and we talk about everything by the time they completed two years with us by their graduation there was a shift and who they thought they were. they knew that they deserve that for themselves to say you are worthy. i don't care who are you as a person to being talk to and listen to and after a while they owned the place they never even noticed me. that's michelle obama. we are old friends. let me show you the blue room. and then introduced yourself there is no room you cannot go in after that. [applause]

>> right before we started there was a high schooler there she is. of course we hope she will be a librarian. but any advice you could give a high schooler? i don't know what i want to do. >> how old are you? you're going to college right? that's the first advice. go to college because you need a college education in this day and age to be competitive. [applause] but here is the thing there are so many different ways to get an education. we live in the united states of america. we have community colleges, four-year, so many ways to do it. no one right way to do it. you don't have to go to a four-year school and live in

the dorm if that's not your thing. it's an excellent experience if you can do it for you have to get a education beyond high school. that is a must. high school diploma is not enough anymore. and to have an education is the key to that. >> that's it in a nutshell. >> we don't have much time left. >> are you ready? we want to booktalk. [laughter] >> if i would describe the

boo book, a re- humanization effort because for me, a black woman from a working-class background to have the opportunity to tell her story is interestingly rare. how do you go from here to there? people think i am a unicorn. and there are so many people in this country and in this world that feel they don't exist because their stories are not told. so then we get to the point we think there is only a handful of legitimate stories that

make you a true american. so if you don't fall into that line, you don't belong. but we all belong. it is the ordinary part of a very extraordinary story. i hope that by telling it not just black women for those who feel faceless and invisible and deprived in their story the way i feel about mine. to grow up as a working-class kid with two parents who had values and not a lot of mone money, growing up with music and art and love and encouraged to get an education. i am not a unicorn. there are millions of kids like me out there it's just a

shame that people will see me and only my color and then make certain judgments about that. that is dangerous for us to dehumanize each other in that way we are all just people the stories to tell and we are fighting broken. we live life trying to do good and that is to this little girl is in becoming but the journey continues and i hope it starts the conversation because we need to know everyone story and over the course over the eight years and traveling around the country americans are good

people. and we just have to remember that about ourselves not just here but around the world. there are people who do bad things and if we do something horrible it usually because we were broken in some way and if we understand each other stories maybe we can be more empathetic or inclusive or forgiving and open. the book encourages conversation around those things and then you hear about china and my shoes and a couple of nice stories. bowl makes an appearance. they are still alive and doing

well by the way. [applause] >> we are glad you are michelle obama. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. keep doing the work in the community. we need you. [cheers and applause]

>> includes another look at the book tv archives. you can watch all the programs you saw by going to our website book tv.org. c-span published a book and a series on the first ladies which you can also access online. join us again next saturday night 8:00 o'clock p.m. when we look at programs from toni morrison.

>> welcome to politics and prose life we just have a few housekeeping notes the first thing i want to say is we encourage everyone to ask a question during the q&a portion