empreor and you were makes up hill conversation. everything was yes or no. >> did your grandchildren go there? no. and he is a very sweet little man and so finally i said, sir, we -- when we drove in we saw the old palace and i guess it was so old, that it just fell down. and he said, i hate to tell you, you bombed it. >> that is kind of a conversation killer, isn't it? >> i looked to the man on the other side. >> did you ever have, can you think of anything like that? >> not exactly like that. >> speak up. >> anything. >> frying to think.

>> be honest. >> anything truly awkward. >> i'm telling you, she was perfect. >> i am sure there's something i can just not think of it right now. >> make up something. >> last question, if you were advising future first ladies, what would you tell them? ? >> be yourself and for heaven's sake, take advantage of it, you have the best of everything in the world. every now and then george and i okay, i can't believe we did that. you see the worst too. i mean, we had dinner with cheska and his wife and we could not believe we did all these things. best artists and best people, i don't care who you are, whether you are good or bad, head of state, you had to be the best of something, how you got there i

do not know. certainly george and i had advantages that very few others, except for first ladies and presidents have. and you ought to take advantage of it and have a good time and do a good thing every day. >> in the house itself it's unbelievable to life in, with the beautiful hard and flowers, the white house owns seven cessans and since they determined at one point to have all the paintings to state floo all up stairs, those are the ones you live with. including the monets that were given. you are living with museum quality art and furniture. >> you have scleen sheets every night. >> yeah. >> change the sheets every day. that is really a luxury. >> i once said to the head usher, you know you can change

ours every other night, and he said please don't break the tradition, that would be terrible and i said well okay. >> you see, i promise, in is the last. tell me about that permanent family, they make the white house function. >> a lot of them have been there for a long time. they never say a word about your successor. or predecessor. and i think that is extraordinary, so it makes you very comfortable. >> they are very, very disconcrete. >> if i throw a shoe at george, nobody is going to know it. i mean, they are nice and we loved them. we stay in touch with many of them. and they certainly stay in touch with us. but they are, they have nonpartisan, supposedly, and they literally never say an ugly word about --

>> about anybody. >> anybody. which is extraordinary. >> do they make life possible? >> yeah. i mean, they are unbelievable. it's terrific. everyone that works at the white house, everything they do is to make a life for the president and the family great. and they are all really terrific, very, very professional. >> i tell you a funny story. i really don'tys i do not mind being 86, nor do i mind being 87 when i am. i hate the big to do, and people that do not know you sing happy birthday to you. they don't give a darn about you, i had a birthday where i had six cakes. and the white house knows that i did not anyone to say anything. and i mean they were so sweet, i would come in from playing tennis and they would say how did you do? are you great? i came in on my birthday one day

and i had lunch alone -- where were you? well anyway. i was going to have a very nice dinner. but i had lunch alone, when the desert came it was a cake and i who cannot sing am smart enough to know it goes, da, da, da, do, do. they had notes on the cake, without saying it. >> without saying it. >> pretty cute, they are very thoughtful. >> we have a few minutes for a few questions i believe we have microphones in the aisle. so if you want to form a line, behind those, we will do our best to get -- >> gracious. >> go ahead. >> sir? >> my name is dan, back in the 1960s i was teaching in wisconsin, and a young man came

from western north dakota to do his master's work with me, his name is marvin johnsonroot? do you remember his wife? i think she served as a volunteer as first lady for several first ladies. >> i did not remember, but i was not there in 1960s. >> they were there twice in washington. merrill johnsroot. >> i really don't remember. but i cannot remember the 17 grandchildren's names. >> anyway, we hosted them a couple of weeks ago and they interacted informally with the faculty in our department and i think her skill was addressing the christmas cards or anything. >> that is a real skill too. >> there are a lot of volunteers in correspondence, people may not know.

that >> she was quite willing to rank mrs. carter on to the president, first ladies with which the niceness with which they were treated as a volunteer. >> yes? i don't blame you don't go any further. >> my name is shyanne, how is life different after your husbands are out of office. >> i'm going let her answer it after me p people treat the former president's wife so nice. they are seriously nice, you have to stop people from saying, let me buy you dinner and george says, no, no, i do not do that. life is wonderful, plus, you literally can raise money for

kmarts you are interested in by just showing up. so, i mean, that is very nice. i mean, i've done three or four just this last couple of weeks for children in distress and different groups, just by showing up. we are a great country to former presidents and wives. >> we are. that is great too. >> go ahead. >> we have a very normal life now, no more cessans in the living room. but p it's terrific to, i mean, i think you know when you are inaugurated that four years later you move out and i think there's a certain anticipation really at the end where you start looking at the next part of your life. it's not like you stay, i wish i could stay one more day. it's nice to be in a normal situation again and go for walks and do this things that i did not do that often when i lived

there. >> president carter and president ford as some people know became good friends in later years and at president ford's funeral, president carter was giving the eulogy and they talked about a cartoon that they got a laugh over. it showed a little boy that was pulling on his mother's arm and said, mommy, mommy, when i grow up i want to be au former president. >> he is right. >> young man? >> howdy first ladies. >> howdy. >> i came here to get some advice about finding my future first lady. i currently work wall street serving the teachers of texas. one area where i find myself struggling is finding like how much to value a woman's

political sense, or business sense, rather than find a woman that loves a traditional family setting. what advice do you give to a young man of finding the traits of a first lady. >> if we have to tell you -- >> and i might add, do you know any? >> yes, we have quite a few beautiful grandchildren. if someone has to tell you this is the person for you, then -- >> they are not the person. >> move on. because you'll know. i mean, i took one look at george bush, and george bush, jr., literally took one look at laura and he knew he was in love with her. >> love at first sight. >> it was. and george bush certainly, i could not breathe when i was in the room with him. >> so that is what you ought to

guys felt when you found out that the terrorists were trying attack the white house? >> well, which time? >> terrible, terrible. >> you mean on september 11th? that was one of the questions i had seen before, what were the best days and what were the worst days in the white house and of course september 11th was the worst day that, and really when i thought about taall the days at the white house, the bad days were days when something bad happened in our country. not when something bad happened to us personally. but when something bad happened to people in our country. and certainly that was one of those days that punish know we

will never forget. but also, when i was think background your question, richard, on the best and the worst also on knows days when bad things happen, we see the best of our people. after september 11th, there was a blood donation spot set up in the old executive building and people lined up around the block because they wanted to give something and they could give their blood. something so literal. and so, i think that you know, it was a terrible, terrible day. but also, i think we saw the good of a lot of people. including those firemen and other people that went into the buildings. >> what was it like, i'll never forget, a year later when you went up to new york and went down into the pit and met with the families, obviously you met

with families before. but, is that the hardest part of the job? >> i think that is a really hard part, but i think especially those people that lost people on september 11th, it's hard and terrible. but there's something inspiring bit, a meeting with families that lost their family and child and wife in overseas in iraq or afghanistan, usually we ended up being very inspired by those families themselves. the, there was one family that lost their son on september 11th, he was on the plane that flew into the pentagon and he was a public health doctor in the public health service, he was a rising star in public health and they lived in west virginia, a lot of those new

jersey and connecticut towns outside of new york had groups of people that they knew, maybe they did not know them before, but they knew each other after they lost somebody on september 11th. this couple, wrote me and said can we come to the white house because we don't know anyone else that lost somebody on september 11th, so they came. i had already heard from a close friend of mine, who is an admiral, and i had been told about paul ambrose and what a loss it was, he was such a great public health doctor and then his parents called and came. i have met them a lot of times since. they were one of the big contributors to the memorial at the pentagon. but, my friend, penny, who told me the story about it, i told them when i met them that

somebody, a friend of mine had told me about paul already. and recently they have started, the ambroses have started a scholorship for public health doctors in paul's honor. they were at the ceremony where they were giving the scholarship, and my friend penny was in and she said i went up to sharon and said i'm penny. i'm the penny that told laura about paul. knows are the times i remember the most. they are hard, no doubt about it. any tragedy is difficult and any loss is difficult, but there's something babout it that is ver, very moving to me still. and i think to all americans really, when we get to hear the stories. and the other thing is how people want to tell the stories, they want you to know about what

they lost and they want you to know what their personality was like. and that is both people that died on september 11th and people who have been killed in iraq and afghanistan. that is what their families want to tell george and me when we meet them. >> were you at the 10th anniversary? and the memorial? >> yes. >> what do you think of the memorial? >> it's magnificent. it's a huge hole in the ground and it's a big fountain with water, huge, it's so huge that you, it's as big as the loss. there are two of them early, where the two twin tour towers the names of the people that died are in bronz on the water's

edge, they look -- the sound forthwith -- the sound of the water is moving. they are magnificent monuments. >> last question over here, hi, my name is victoria and my dad wanted know say hi, and our question is -- >> we wanted to ask how is -- were like the children of the -- the president's children did they go to regular school or did they have a tutor? >> you mean in history? my girls were in college when we moved in. so they were, barbara was at yale and they went to college like all other kids. they were very fortunate to have a lot of really good friends, because there was at times, sort of especially at the first when the press would try to call their friends to find out things or get them to say things about

them, and their friends were always very, very supportive of them. and i appreciate that a lot. so were their schools and professors. >> this has been a remarkable day capped by, i guess you could, it's obvious we save the best for last. i want to say, thank you to everyone, everyone at the bush school, the bush library, texas a&m, lks at american university who organized the original conference, all of the participants in today's programs and above all, anita, whose brain storm this is. >> and thank you richard. and thank you. >> so, would you please join me in thanking our guests. thank you.

thank you. [ applause ] >> all day today, american history tv is featuring america's first lady. facebook.com/cspan. facebook, youtube, twitter and four square. follow us online at cspan.org/history. american history tv will continue this week in prime time. our focus on tuesday night is black history month. at 8:00 eastern with the ground

breaking of the new museum of african american history and culture taking place wednesday on the national mall. the founding director will take us through the storage facility to show the items that will be on display and on thursday, the relationship between martin luther king, jr. and his mentors. and then we will tour the national civil rights museum. and at 10:30 from waterbury connecticut, professor william foster will teach about the history of the "n" word. and a focus on "uncle tom's cabin," this is american history tv on c-span 3. former first lady betty ford and roselyn carter became friends and partners after

leaving the white house, as did their husbands. last summer, ms. carter traveled to california and delivered a eulogy for betty ford following her death in july. sitting in the front row was michelle obama, nancy reagan and former president george w. bush. >> betty ford was my friend and i'm honored to be here today to help celebrate the life of this truly remarkable woman. i never imagined when we first met 40 years ago that we would

develop such a close personal friendship. at that time betty was the wife of the vice president of the united states. she had danced with the dance company and performed in carnegie hall. she was the leader in the fight for women's rights and she had come to georgia request the michigan art train, taking cars filled with art to rural communities across the country. jimmy was the governor and we invited her to stay at the governor's mansion. i was nervous. she was so warm and friendly when she arrived that she immediately put me at ease and we had a good time together. of course, did i not tell her -- i did not tell her then that my husband was thinking of running for president. the next time i met betty was at the white house shortly the 1976

election. it might have been a very awkward moment, i know from personal experience p that it was a difficult time for her. yet, she was just betty, as gracious as always. as i assumed the responsibilities of first lady. i had an excellent role model and a tough act to follow. betty broke new ground in speaking out on women's issues, and her public disclosure of her own battle with breast cancer lifted the veil of secrets on this disease, millions of women are in her debt today, and she was never afraid to speak the truth. even about the most sensitive subjects, including her own struggles with alcohol and pain killers. she got some criticisms, i

thought she was wonderful and her honesty gave hope to others every single day. by her example also helped me recover from jimmy's loss in 1980. having embraced the cause of better treatment tore men and women recovering from alcoholism and chemical dependence, she worked tirelessly as former first lady, to establish the betty ford center. and showed me that there's life the white house. and it can be a very full life. in 1984, we both participated in a panel at the ford presidential library on the role of first ladies. we found that our interests in addictive diseases and mental health came together in many ways and that we could be a stronger force if we worked as partners. and we did. for many years. sometimes, traveling to

washington to lobby for our causes. especial lly support for mental health and substance abuse problems in health insurance plans. we did not get everything that we wanted, but we got a good start, and pit made her as happy as it made me. we talk besided about it. we would go to the washington and i would round up the democrats and she would round up the republicans and we were successful for the most part. she wrote about women who had the convictions and did what others were too sorry to attempt. isn't that the most appropriate description of betty? someone who was willing to do things differently than they were done before r someone who are the courage and grace to fight fear, stigma and

prejudice, wherever she encountered it, and today it's almost impossible a time to a imagine of a time when they speak publically with alcohol addiction, she was a supporter of those that were struggling. some struggling alone, those afraid to seek help, it was a privilege to bring addiction and mental health problems into the light. historians have said that jimmy and and -- had a close relationship. in closing i just want to add that betty and i shared another passion, our husbands and our families. her partnership with jerry both public and private helped heel the nation and strengthen the family unit in its many varied

forms. her love of her children, michael, jack, steven and suzanne, was unbounded. and her grandchildren were a source of constant pleasure. when we got together late their life, we talked about hopes and dreams for our children. for those of you that mourn the loss of your mother, grandmother, and great grandmother today, we extends our most sincere sympathies and want you to know the deep love and respect that we had for this extraordinary woman. it was my privilege to know her.

all day today p american history tv is featuring america's first lady. who do you think was the nation's most influential first lady? >> as we observe president's day on c-span 3's american history tv, up next is former first lady and then senator hillary clinton holding her final rally of her presidential campaign, she is now serving as secretary of state in the obama administration. [ applause ]

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