>> laura bush, what was your initial reaction the first time your husband said, i think i'm going to run for president? >> i can't really remember exactly what my initial reaction was. i think it was a little bit slower than just all of a sudden saying i'm going to run for president. he was governor. he had been governor roy interim and reelected and slowly i think we just both started talking about it. he talked about it and of course other people were talking to him about it and i knew what it was like. now, i knew already what it will be like this. and it wouldn't be like to live in the white house. george and i had an advantage

that so far only one other family has said before, john quincy adams family. we had visited very often. we moved to washington back in 1986, or 87, rather, to work on president bush's campaign. and so i saw them when they were campaigning nationwide, and they still have time to babysit barbara angela on a saturday night when george and i would want to go out to dinner. really, that year and a half that we lived in washington until president bush was elected in november of 1988 was a wonderful time for our family. it was the only time i ever lived with my in laws, and my mother-in-law and i really had a chance to bond. our little girls had a chance to get another grandparent in a way that they had not really, because their grandfather had been vice president for the whole part of their life, 1981,

right after he was elected vice president. so i knew, really, what it would be like. and my hesitation was because i knew what it would be like. i noted in politics to be defined in a way that you're not. that's what we saw with president bush and it was too distressing for us in 1992, we lost, because we saw characterized in a way that we knew he was not. and that's just the run. and that's also what you know it's going to be like, i think, which makes all the difficulty of it, the difficulty of being defined in a way that you're not are being criticized by your opponents or even by your friends, you know, something that you can live with, because you know that's just how it is in america and one of the really great things about our country is that we can say whatever we want about the people who ran for office, and even about our presidents, when they were serving.

>> is it tough to develop that thick skin? >> it, is it is. and of course it always bothers you but on the other hand, i know george, and i know what he's like, just like we knew his dad and we know what he's like as well so, the criticisms, in a lot of ways just, you know, our criticisms from people who don't know, and who are with you every day, of course, like i was with george every day. >> how do you grow into the first lady role? >> i think it took me a long time to grow into it. i knew already, i watch my mother-in-law, which was a huge advantage as well. i knew a lot of things that were just minor things. under the need to pick a christmas theme in march should be ready with christmas decorations. i knew that for the white house christmas card you needed to start quite early, especially if you wanted to use an american artist to do the art

for the christmas card. i mean, those who just things i already knew it was a huge help to know those, but not only did i know how to do those things, the first lady, or at, least i wanted to be evolved, in but i also knew everyone the work there. georgia die due to potlucks, we do the assurance, we need the white house florist, we knew all the people who served there for president after president and that was a huge advantage for us when we moved in the very first day, there were lots of hugs with the butlers and ushers that we already knew and of course barbara bush was there with us at the white house and all of us were in the house together that very first night and we all knew the people there. in fact, in 1981, or rather, 1998, president bush was inaugurated january 1989, the

white house florist met little barbara and jenner, who were seven, and when they got to close the parade and they wanted to come into the white house before we had left the parade and president bush barbara had left the parade, nancy clark, the white house for us met them out the door and took them down into the florist shop and help the make a little bouquet for their bedrooms where they were staying at the white house so, really, for us, it was a wonderful sense of security to already know everyone who work their, to already have a friendship with them. >> mrs. ben bush, growing up as laura welch in midland, texas in the 19 fifties, did you ever imagine the life that you've had? >> never, never, we have never thought that i would ever live in the white house. or are expected to marry someone who would become president. you know, i think that's what happens to a lot of people. things happen in your life that

you don't expect and a lot of them are great and wonderful and of course some or not, but i would have never expected to live at the white house. and i will have to say. i was a teacher, i was elaborate -- librarian. that is all we want to do. when i was in the second grade, i truly wanted to make my favorite thing to do, reading, it in my career and i did expect that and that is what i went to undergraduate cool for an education degree and then graduate school for library science. and that is what i would not have thought would have helped when my husband became governor but actually it was really great to have worked in public schools, to have taught in public schools and even have

been a public librarian. it was a great advantage to know what it was like working schools because education is such an important issue, both for governor but also for a president and so that was very helpful to me and then of course, having read 1 million stories to kids in all those years was good experience, i think, for speech giving. >> in your book, spoken from the heart, talk about your grandmother well, or your grandmother and your mother, janet, well and their talent and their abilities. >> my mother and grandmother were both naturalist. my mother is 94. she is alive and she lives in midland, texas. she's doing very well. i try to go out there every few weeks and see her. she is not traveling, really, anymore, but she's doing great. but my mother and my grandmother were both

naturalist. they were very interested in gardening. they're interested in plants. my mother became a bird-watcher when she was my girl scout leader, and we got up, a lifelong interest in bird-watching and that was something that informed my life, that level of outdoors, the whole idea of how beautiful the natural world is and especially in that he plans and the use of that he plants in the landscape and so when lady project was first lady of the united states, i was always proud that we had a texas first lady who saw the beauty of the natural world and wanted and encourage people in all parts of our country to plant wild flowers on the highways both because they do the best there, because it is their natural habitat, but also because they are beautiful and every year in washington, when

the daffodils bloom on the george washington park, i am reminded of ladybird johnson because i know she wanted to be that way, and then we plant bush library, we wanted our 15 acre park that surrounds the bush center to be like and that he prairie that would've been exactly with the settlers of this part of north texas would have found when that came through here and so we worked with the lady bridges in wildflower center to develop the turf grass that we planted all around the bush library. it's a mixture of five native texas grasses, mainly buffalo grass, but others as well, early mesquite and this is the first big application of it as the native turf grass. it should be able to stand up to the use that a college

campus lawn would get and also not need to be watered. >> how do you get to sme you from midland, texas? >> well, i want to look at a number of schools with my mother. i looked at texas tech, which is where my dad went, and his mother, not far from midland, where i grew up, and i look at the university of texas and then with one of my really good high school friends, we both said, let's go to s&p, and that's what we decided to do. i watched a lot of sme football players as a high school student, and i knew about the school, really, from its football program, and also i was a methodist in this was a methodist school. >> what was it like growing up in midland, texas in the 19 fifties? >> it was a wonderful place to grow up. midland is very safe. it is safe and very loving community, a community where

you knew if you did anything wrong and never saw you they would tell on you. we were free to go everywhere in midland. we went on bikes to a little shopping center to eat lunch at the drug counter there, at the pharmacy, drugstore, i had lots of really good friends that i was with for all of those years, and i was still very close to all the people in midland. in fact, i hike all years, with a group of four other middle and friends of mine. it is really terrific now to be with them because now it takes five of us to remember somebody's name, but we also know each other's history, we know all of our old boyfriends, we knew all the same things about each other because we all went elementary and junior high school together and there is great security alliance in

having friends that were your friends when you were a child and having that kind of history of friendship. george also grew up in midland. the bushes lived there until we were in the eighth grade in a new move to houston. mr. bush took his oil company offshore and then moved to houston. so, from elementary school, those same great friends of mine, and his friends, that he played little league baseball with were my friends and we used to invite all of them to the white house, all those friends, we had a festive valentine dinner once with those friends of ours and one of my friends who came that dinner address cancer and she was dying, and we knew, she died in april after that, so it was really wonderful to have the chance to be with those friends and to know that they were our friends for a whole life. they are friends for the rest of our life. >> you even what hiking without your friends when your first

lady. >> that's right. we had four years before george became president we had entered the lottery, the concession lottery to hide in the camps of yosemite, for about three years while george was governor, but our names were never drawn so soon as he was elected, i call them and said, guess what? you won the lottery. so, in 2001, we hiked in yosemite, which is one of our most beautiful national parks. we height from camp to camp and we did not really displace anybody, because we were always a day ahead of the other people that came into the camp. we had one day before them. when day before the upper camps opened, so that was really fun. we have to tell the big national park, yosemite, and, glacier yellowstone, and the grand canyon, that grand canyon was the first national park we have had in together in many

years, and when george was president we all took our girls, barbara, and my daughter, one of my daughters was in africa working in a hospital so she did not get to go, but janet did in that was a lot of fun. and we have to yellowstone this summer. we had been back to glacier and back to yellowstone and probably not yosemite because it's just too hard for us now at our age. >> do people, have been stopped and recognized? >> yes, we always do. we have one party is a fund-raiser, a lot of the big western parks have friends groups and so this summer we have a big park in the superintendents house for all the supporters of yellowstone national park to come. that was fun. >> and what did you enjoy most of it being texas first lady?

>> i love being texas first lady because i love my state, and i know my state so well, having always lived here. the times that i visited when george was governor, and have traveled all over our state. i don't think i made it every single county. i think there are 253 of them but i did make it almost everyone, and in many cases it was nostalgic, being a part of the state that i visited with my parents, and we would go on summer vacations, and we would be in a part of the state where my grandmother lived, in el paso, for instance, or where my dad's mother lived and so, i love that. i also love getting to see, like you do get to see in the state, that every governor, every governor spouse gets to see, and that is the very best of your state, and in the most like, unlikely corners of the state, the most terrific programs that texans have founded. a lot of literacy programs, and

that was a particular interest, but a lot of really great programs, just groups, women's clubs had started to support, either child protective services protection of children who were abused, or who were in foster families that need special care, literacy programs that were founded so that anyone can come in and be taught how to read. of course, in our state, we have a lot of people who don't read in english and want to speak english and read in english and so those programs were great to see. i saw west texas where people live very rural lies because you're a long way away from the biggest city that's in that part of the state, i saw a terrific programs see of units

that go around to test people see if they have breast cancer because just to get people into the biggest hospital that is close to them is a long drive. >> would you consider yourself a natural campaign or? a natural public person? >> i think i would. now after, all i am a librarian and i would say that i'm an introvert. i am married to an extrovert, which i like. i mean, one of the things i love most about george was both that he loved to talk, and his sense of humor, i like that a lot. i wanted to be married to someone who could entertain me for the rest of my life, and he has for sure. but what i think it's there is a place for this in politics, and it also made me grow in a lot of ways, to not be the kind of shy person that i thought of myself as. >> do you remember the first time we had to give a public

speech? >> george and, the great job is that we had the prune up. he had promised i would never have to give a political speech. about three weeks, three months into our marriage, there i was on the steps of the courthouse giving a speech, because he couldn't come. with all the other candidates for the congressional race that he was running for, to democrats and republicans, and george had some obligation. course, the candidates themselves were the ones shaking their hands to me, you know, you can do it. that was sweet. all the people in the front row. people are very kind, especially to the specific candidate, in our state. >> you still get nervous for a speech? >> not that, nervous but i also have to know that i'm prepared and running for the top witness

long as i have a speech that i think is a good speech. >> laura bush, doesn't only, child that was it like marrying into the bush family? >> it was terrific. i wish on a star, always, exist when i was a little girl, i want to brothers and sisters. my mother, and father, i knew that was a great desire, that the really wanted to love children so, i do too, i want to this president sisters, but then that's what i felt like i got one i married georges and got his brothers and sister, and their spouses, of course, and his sister and her family, and one of his brothers, sons with live in the washington, d.c. area, and there is great emotional support, really, and having a family members around when you live in the white house and i would notice it his brother, one time for tough would call and say, let's watch

the game this weekend. they would not talk about politics, it's the george and martin could sit and watch a game and they could relax in a way that only you can with your brother with your sister. and then, i worked out several times a week with my sister-in-law, barbara, and she would drive into alexandria to the white house, early in the morning, for a get-together, and that was really a lot of fun, and also great emotional support for me and that all came with their children. and, so many times we were going to camp david for the weekend, they would come. and that was a lot of fun. we went to church their, and they would be there with us. >> how important during your presidency was kennebunkport, the ranch there? >> well, the ranch was very important to us and of course

we didn't go to kennebunkport that often. you i think we went almost every year that george was president and then i was going to meet with them, with president bush and barbara, where they were, we did not go into thousand five after hurricane katrina. we were schedule in a way that we could not go but after hurricane katrina we did not go. what part of going there in the summer was just shoot meet with, them with president bush and barr, and you get that kind of emotional support that you get from being with your parents and especially being in such a familiar location, the georgia -- but this whole life. but the ranch is very important. that is where we vacation, when we took the weeks off that we would take off in august, when the congress had gone home for the vacation, we went to our ranch and also for us, that was

our homes, that was the house we had built. that was our property and there was something also really i think in a way it was a break from living at the white house, to be in our own homes, but we also use it to entertain a lot. i think we asked more than a dozen world leaders, and it gave us a chance to show them what our life was like, it also give us a chance to entertain them in a way that was very personal, not that entertaining at the white house was not also personal and of course people, world leaders wanted to come to the white house but many of them visited the president at the white house. some had already visited president clinton at the white house and, so to come to our ranch was a special thing that we had, i think, to offer them, and they appreciated. we are doing a big prayer

restoration at our ranch. we started in 2000 when we bought the property, and that is one of the reasons we want to do that here in the bush center. before it was plowed in graced and built-in repaved here, and here, at the bush center, we read by central expressway, a big freeway, and be able to see what this part of the state would have been like and that's what we've done there at the ranch, and so we had a chance to show our guests, heads of state, what a central texas prairie would have been like, and for the australian prime minister the shame, the whole aussie party became more to talk about it with him, because they are the same way. they had this very large wide

open country like ours was and they talk about how they restored their grasslands as well. >> what was your approach to entertaining in the white house, and how do you go from one day being the first lady of texas to entertaining foreign leaders? >> well, that was really a very enjoyable part. this huge team that work on entertaining. obviously the state department, the recommendation first a dinners comes in the state department, in many cases, and so, you're working with them on the plans for the state, dinner on the invitation that goes out the world leader, and the white house social office, social secretary gets involved as well, and the white house florist, and the white house chef. everyone's involved in trying

to plan a dinner, the most american, -- it was really fun to work on those, to make all those plant. we always did a tasting of the food, of the menu that the chef i propose. meantime she would ask members of congress come to the tasting, they were guinea pigs for the state dinner that we were hosting but of course they would be very forthright and say, that would be, could you this. i don't know if this dishes that tasty. they would be more forthcoming, really, i think, then our friends would be, and we just, say that's great, whatever you've got. and that is really what little spread that pleasure of the state dinner over a number of notes.

and then, of course, we will try to pick entertainment represented the united states in a wonderful way, like the new orleans jazz ban, for instance, that we invited, that came to play. that was, in a way, to try to actually show these heads of state what was important to us, and what american music was important to us, and then for the whole state visit, we would use the travel after the state visit with the head of state, with our very first state dinner, september 6th, 2001. so, it was right before september 11th. and it was in mexico with president fox, and that was the relationship we expect to spend most time on. we had a long border with mexico, it was a particular

issue, and it just asked to work with all the border states. to after that, we travel to chicago, we went to a show, is of mexican american art at a museum. we invited all the artists to come for a luncheon afterwards, which is interesting, it will show both our art, american art that originated in her country, to that first lady. louise jimenez, the artist from el paso, and then you flew with us to because he had work in that show. i think george took, i forget where george took the president next day, but then with the prime minister from japan, who

have and have a great love for elvis pressley, so for our state dinner,, we gave him a box full of elvis pressley 45, and then exit need to come to graceland and i was waiting on the front porch to welcome the prime minister and it was so much fun, we wore our gold framed elvis pressley sunglasses, and then we ate at the restaurant there and they had a little elvis impersonating band that prime minister koizumi saying with and saying love me tender with them. it was really fun. >> mrs. bush, besides barbara bush, what other first ladies have you studied and either adapted their style or not

adapted it? >> well, i think you really do study all the first ladies, and you live with their decorating choices, you live with their furniture. you live with them. the effects, really, of their lives and certainly in times that are tough like hours after september 11. when you think the other families, likely you cook what what is happening then it certainly length is the when you think about the most, but the worst time in our country's history and of course, mary todd lincoln was very unhappy with. her brothers fought for the confederacy and she wished them dead and they did die and then they lost a child. they lived there as well. you can imagine what it was

like for her to have those tragedies, and then you knew it was like for him as well, the president, at a time when -- and one of the things that is comforting about living there with all the history, is that you see how we've overcome in our country the challenges that we face, when you think about the long years, world war ii, and other times in our history, and how difficult it was for people and how we overcame those challenges. and, so there's a certain comfort in knowing that while piece is not forever, neither is war, and we will be able to overcome these times of terrorism, and time passes, things change, and really i do think it's in our country, things get better, and that's a reassuring idea.

>> you write, in spoke from the heart, about growing up in the era of civil rights development. what was that like for you? >> i was involved, really, emotionally, in the civil rights movement. i graduated from college in 1968 and was asked to teach, when i got a job in dallas, in houston, it, austin university schools because i wanted to work in intercity schools because of the way i thought especially african american children had been left out and that's what i did in houston, i was in a predominantly african american school, nearly every one of my children that our gun american, and i thought that was one way i could be involved in the civil rights movement, but also grew up in a town in texas that named their new high school that was new, i was in

the first sophomore class in high school named robert e. lee and i remember thinking at the time to that was not appropriate and it never occurred to me go to the school board and say anything, and i was a child,, at the time, i discussed it with my mother, all of our other schools that we went to, but we've read elementary school running for texas heroes. george went to sam houston. there is davie crosscut. travis. they were all named for heroes of the alamo, really, and then our junior highs will name for the battles that led to, the battles of the texas revolution which led to texas being a country, the republic of texas,

for ten, years and then finally being annex estate, so somehow i did not think robert easily fit in that group of texas here although, i'm sure they could've been reprobate's. who knows. but anyway, that is what the school was named and we were segregated. george washington carver was the name of the high school, and we host the reunion at the white house six we had kids, six-year-old people back then from midland high school and robert e. lee high school, and really that was the first time we've ever met the students who are our age. >> laura bush, this surprise you at first when you first became first lady, the platform

that you were given and the voice you have? >> i, know i knew that of course, i knew it intellectually because i'd see my mother-in-law and a platform that she had, or particular interest, i'd seen ladybird jean stun you, and here at home in texas, because of her interest in native plants but i did not really know it until i made the presidents radio address, the presidential radio address in fall of 2001 after the terrorist attack to talk about the way women and children were treated by the taliban, afghanistan. >> good morning, i am laura bush and i'm delivering this week's radio address to kick off a worldwide effort to focus on the brutality against women and children shall be allocated terrorist network and the regime it supports in afghanistan, the taliban. that regime is now on retreat

across much of the country, and the people of afghanistan, especially women, are rejoicing. afghan women know through hard experience what the rest of the world is discovering this, the brutal oppression of women is a central goal of the terrorist. >> i'm right after, that i did the radio address from our ranch, we were at our range that we can see and jen and i went shopping together at a department store and the lady she sold cosmetics at the department store says, thank you so much, miss bush. thank you for speaking for the women of afghanistan. >> not only because our heartbreak for the women and children in afghanistan, but also because in afghanistan we see the world the terrorist would like to impose on the rest of us. all of us have an obligation to speak out. we may come from different backgrounds and faiths, but

parents the world over love their children. we respect our mothers, our sisters and daughters. fighting brutality against women and children is not the expression of a specific culture. it is the acceptance of our common humanity. >> and that is the first time i really realize that people heard me and that what i said, people listened to so and so, then i knew, from then on, although i don't think you ever really know it intellectually, until after you'll even see what the platform is. but ladybird johnson had that same wrote, that she had that debate, she was going to use. >> do you think you use yours? >> i hope so, i tried to use it. i talked a lot about women in afghanistan. i still do. i'm worried now. >> i've been there three times while george was president.

i love to go again but i'm worried that as we draw our troops down the their rights, which are fragile, would be jeopardized. >> another issue during the white house, you start of the national book festival. the first was on september 8th, 2001. >> that's right. really that balls when i felt like what i was working on was getting going, really. it's the first dinner, september six, for mexico. it's and then the national book festival. i sort of the textbook festival when i was governor, any that it was a natural to have a national book festival, on the national mall, and it still goes on, and still draws lots and lots of people, still hugely popular. and so, that was that weekend. the weekend before tuesday

morning of september 11th and even on that morning i was on my way to capitol hill to brief the senate education committee on early childhood education wanted a summit on early childhood education that summer and i was gonna brief that committee on early childhood education and i was getting into the car and a secret service agent plea delivered to me and said a plan is just planted the world trade center and we went ahead to the capital, we got the car, which is soon as we started driving the day it was some strange, you know, accident, but at the time we got to the capital we knew the second plane had hit, and we knew what it was so i join senator kennedy who is the chair of the senate education committee in his office and then in just a few minutes, chant senator judge gray from new hampshire was one of our closest friends, joined me.

he was the minority chairman of the committee. and so it he talked the whole time and told stories about things that were in his office. he left, he had a letter, a friend of his brother jack had written to his mother that said, teddy is getting fat, and he thought that was funny. and i've often wondered, if that was just his reaction to something is shocking, horrible, because of, course you've had many shots in his life. before, if you thought i would fall apart, if you can keep things, going which is to keep small talk and talking and keeping things going, in a few minutes, i left and went to a secure location. >> how did you leave?

>> the secret service, it is time, at first they were thinking that would take me back to the white house and so they had to regroup and figure out where i could go because obviously the people at the white house are getting, the staff of the white house was getting the word to run. i'm people in my office, young women who work for me we're kicking off the high heels and running for the white house, and i know they expected to have glamorous, really interesting jobs at the white house and no one ever thought they would have to run from the white house like they did. so, anyway, secret service came to get me and senator greg and senator candy walk me through the door, and i drove, really where i went was a secret service building which had been reinforced after the terrorist

attacks in our embassies and really i guess after the oklahoma city bombing. a lot of them have been reinforced, and that one has been, so that's where i went and spent the day. >> have you talk to your husband here girls at that point? >> i can't remember ever brought this up in the book, because i had the loss for the day but i did talk to george once i got there, and the girls, and then of course my mother was the one i really wanted to call because i wanted my mother to say everything is going to be all right, and of course i called her and said, i think it's gonna be all right, and i wanted her to say well, certainly, yes. >> you have been first lady about seven months, 9/11 had just happened, as you described. you are here in dallas, 50 years ago, jfk was shot in the city. where were you that day, and what do you remember about jackie kennedy?

>> well, i was my class of robert e. lee high school. i was senior in high school. i was a classical history of western thought there was a philosophy class that you had have certain scores, certain grades, to be able to take, just one class, that history professor taught, and he came in and told us that president kennedy had been shot. i went home for lunch that day and i went home to where my parents were and was with them then and then after that, the funeral for that that followed, wherever just lying on the coach in my dad with my mother and dad in the room where they were watching and you know, i was amazed, really, at her strengths, and she was very young, really young, i think she was only 30 to refined

mistaken and she really had such strength. not only did she have the strength to be able to withstand it with such grace and with such poise, but she also was able to plan a state funeral at the most unexpected saying that whatever happened to a first lady anyway, that i think -- so beautifully and so memorably planned and i think it has been a lot of ways. and she did to, not really, but her strength. >> did you find yourself becoming a role model or somebody the people that after 9/11? >> i don't know, that really. i guess so. i think we've got letters from people. i did not expect it, really, i

am sure it is just like she was, you did not expect to be a role model. you did not expect we would what you do that. we might expect people would look at your clothes, or how you entertain, but you didn't. i think it had not occurred first ladies, really, that you're going to be a role model in that way, the grace you have, the strength we, had, really to be able to handle and lived through in a way that gives other people strength, the sharks in our history. >> mrs. bush, you write unspoken from the heart about it difficult period in november 1963 and a loss of face, and your face. why? >> well, i was in a car wreck, which i read about extensively in my book and the whole time i was in the hospital, not injured and then i had a cut on my leg and a broken ankle, i

was praying that the other person in the car would be okay and the other person in the car was one of my best friend, which i did not know, i did not recognize that at the side of the crash. his father came up. we are just past the corner where the car wreck was, and i recognize his father but i did not understand that was mike that was there and i think because i prayed over and over him to be okay and then he wasn't, i thought, well, nobody listened. god was not listening. my prayer was not answered so i went through really a very long time of not believing, not believing that prayers could be answered and it took me a long time, really, and a lot of growing up to come back to phase. >> and have you recovered your

face? >> and i have recovered my faith and my faith is very helpful to me in those years. i can't imagine actually living there without a strong face. it's debate really in the goodness of, obviously have the lord, but in the goodness of life and that was the quote that i used in my christmas card that first year, and it was the one when we want to camp david after september 11th, with that we, wind really it was a war counsel, everybody came by, the cabinet was there with us as well and conte and they were all there that weekend and our chaplains who also happen to be a methodist minister had chosen, i believe i shall see the goodness of the lord in the land of living as

the, that was in the little program from camp david that week. and so, i used that because that part of the bible and our first christmas card and that is what i think we saw. we saw america and literally lining up after september 11th. >> laura bush, how do you think you grew or changed the role of first lady after 9/11? >> well, i think, i know, i guess, what happens to a lot of people is you row just because you are strong, and you already were strong and i was and george is, and i didn't know that, i don't know the kind of strength i had, the kind of emotional strength and physical, really, physical strength that i had, and stamina that i had,

that i knew george had, when i wasn't so sure did, but the way i found out really that i did have that kind of