>> good evening, everyone. welcome to the white house correspondents association annual dinner. we have a terrific program i had of us. for now, please enjoy your dinner.

>> there is now being served at the washington hilton hotel. while everyone is eating, we are going to show you some footage from this morning. chris matthews' producer and is

now in public relations. each year, she throws a brunch on saturday for a lot of the celebrities and politicos who attend this dinner. we want to show you about 20 minutes of that branch while everyone is eating dinner and our live coverage will continue after that. >> tell me what you are looking

forward to this evening or what are you not looking forward to? >> [unintelligible] >> how many of these debtors have you been to. >> 4 or 5. >> if you like them? >> if yes, they are fun. >> is this better any different for you? quite more star power than there was. [unintelligible]

>> can we have a couple seconds of your tie? -- of your time? [unintelligible] >> do you want to get some

photos? >> hi. how are you? good to see you.

[talking over each other]

>> how are you? >> nice to see you. >> it's certainly helps to recognize we have a lot of good things going on. >> have you done a lot of these things in the past? >> [unintelligible]

>> hi there. i am christina. >> hi there, christina. >> have you been to one of these before? >> [unintelligible]

>> how are you? >> i am from politico. one of the most important men in washington.

>> hi. i am christina. nice to meet you. have you been to one of these before? >> i have been. this is my other home away from home. [unintelligible] it may be my fourth or fifth. this does not compare. >> thank you.

>> hi, . how are you? >> what is this weekend about for you? >> we have spent the last two days around the white house. [unintelligible] >> is everything going well? >> it has been going surprisingly well-prepared if

nothing else, we successfully defused the partnership without splitting the ark.

>> i used to be on the other side of the camera from sarah. i do -- you do not want to know how many of these i have been too. how do i keep them fresh pumpkin everybody is busy working. they do not get to see each other very much. they do not talk to each other on the phone anymore because nobody talks on the phone.

but e-mail each other, tweet, or text. it is a chance to spend five minutes with a real, personal, not political scenario. >> [unintelligible] >> yes and no. the get a sense of what they are thinking about. this goes on in terms of lobbying and image projection. last night to mcdougal had a party. i do not know that google or any of the other big webb players have done this before.

that is a statement by eric schmitt of google and the other big internet players who are, of course, in a gigantic battle with hollywood, the music industry, and everyone else over copyright protection those kind of agendas are underneath some of these parties that are happening. >> i would like to tell you, especially you in the back, a story. i would like to tell you a story about a mom who 30 years ago took her newborn baby home. .er first child a after the imam embraced the child for seven months, the child had a seizure and another seizure and another seizure. and they did not stop. and the doctor said, there is

nothing that can be done. the seizures went on for 20 years. that is the pain of a parent. i cannot imagine a greater one. there is a disease in this country that kills as many people as breast cancer. there is a disease that affects as many people as alzheimer's, muscular dystrophy, and it's terrible policy combined, and we do not talk about it much. it sits silently without a lot of support. a lot of us are indistinguishable here, but in a wonderful way, we are not in distinguishable. some people with us today are braver and stronger and have bigger engines in their hearts. one mom, the one we are talking about today, said at the world did not have to be this way. out of her sorrow, and she

lifted herself up and said this is going to change. she got some parents like herself are around the kitchen table and started an organization called cure -- citizens united for research in epilepsy. it has become a powerful force that has transformed research, raised the level of awareness and the level of support. i can tell you now that 2/3 of the people afflicted with epilepsy do it now find relief.

>> now on your screen again alive as the ballroom at the washington hilton hotel where the 2012 washington -- white house correspondents' dinner is underway. dinner is being served. we will be live there again when the speeches start, but we want -- one of the features of google + is to go hang out. people can establish and video links and talk to each other. we invited two reporters who do not happen to be in the room tonight to join us -- two political reporters. patrick gavin of politico. first of all, where are you? >> i am in the safe confines of

my home in upper northwest d.c. i spent the early day covering the brunch you have just shown. we went to the headquarters in roslyn, va. to preview our own lives stream and then come back here. the speeches get started pretty late. i will be covering the speeches tonight, but since they bleed into the 11:00 hour, i would rather be doing it here. >> mr. gavin, where did they at brunch come from? where did it started and it is an official event? >> is started and grew into its own sort of separate thing. she had it for years at her home or in the palisades, which is not that far from georgetown. it actually became bigger and bigger. security became an issue the more celebrities she got, say nothing of the fact she destroyed her lawn every year.

she moved it to the former house of the late publisher of the washington post. it is a lot more appropriate. security is easier. more people can get in there. managing traffic is better. as a result, once you make things bigger, the get bigger names. >> patrick gavin, what kind of resources does politico give up to this weekend? >> i think that anytime the president is involved, we put a lot of resources into it. obviously, this is more of a light hearted thing. there is a handful of reporters -- 10-15 -- that cover this. the more trivial things, like party coverage, the relationship between hollywood and b.c. -- a

lot of democrats think hollywood is sort of their atm machine at that sort of true. the refund raiser at george clooney's house. the hollywood-bc connection and not just -- hollywood-bc connection is not just trivial. we kind of cover a lot of the serious stuff. obviously, a lot of the more lighthearted stuff as well. >> also joining us, another politico reporter -- rachel squire. tell us who you are? >> i am in my hotel room at the hilton. we have c-span on right now. i should note that i had my first taste -- brush with politico today. >> your of the publication is what? >> i am actually covering the dinner this evening for

mashable, which focuses on tech and social media coverage. it is reaching a reflection. here in 2012. >> rachel sklar is at the washington hilton. here is the ballroom at the hilton. you can see live coverage. the answer is being served. we are waiting for -- waiting for speeches to begin. rachel, did you attend any of the receptions in the labyrinth of the reception hall of the help and? >> i did, indeed. it is a tradition to go downstairs to a windowless networks ballroom with fluorescent light and conversed with politicos, hollywood stars, and media. >> any surprises? any fine meets for you? >> it was fun to come face-to-

face with newt gingrich. i was really excited when i was covering the primary to see him every time i was out there and see him be very active with his social media seconds. i asked him about that. he got a little tense and said he did not want to discuss it. diane keaton was there, which was amazing. ashley, i met one of the two guys who argued a case. i am a putt -- former lawyer. quite you also wrote a piece for politico today. was it about? >> if it was about the fact that this year there are more and more tech people involved and that it would make sense our people because this is their big event.

i also paid attention to the nerds in attendance from the tax side of things. in our room, we have someone from a social network that allows you to connect with other voters. the future is here and if you talk to some of these people and find out what they are doing, you never know -- you might found out what the next instagram is before it is sold for about -- $1 billion. >> patrick gavin, i want to read this tweaked to you and see if you can give an answer. "do any actual news correspondents actually go to the white house correspondents' dinner anymore?" >> the new york times is the

only organization officially that is black listed. they said two or three years ago that they felt uncomfortable with what they see as a tide of a "too close for comfort" relationship between supporters, their sources, celebrities. some people do not like it. it is a violation of what reporters are supposed to do. on the other hand, a lot of reporters say -- also taking a night off, having a cheap drunk, and enjoying it all. this really used to be about the white house correspondents. it really is not anymore. if you look at the coverage that c-span is providing, you hear the proper r.o.t.c. screen for

kim parnassian -- paparazzi scream for kim kardashian. that is obviously the state of things in our world today. the correspondents do go. they love this event. they like meeting celebrities. they like feeling they are celebrities themselves to a small degree. it did a very prestigious ticket. they do go, but the largest. is this dinner has ceased to be about what white house correspondents. >> do you regret not being there? >> not at all i probably stopped going to that dinner at three or four years ago. not only is it a debacle slate and quite exhausting, but covering the event from the dinner is almost impossible. the wifi is not so great.

the line out of there is not so long. seasoned party travelers know it the best thing is to hang out of the hilton and not go to the dinner. yeah the easiest way out of the way to the after party. i will be going to bed after this. >> politico as a special edition devoted to the white house correspondents a better. patrick gavin went out to hollywood and entered the jimmy kimmel, tonight's entertainment, before the dinner about a week or so to go -- ago. mr. gavin, the queue for joining us from your home on google +. rachel, what does a room at the hilton cost this weekend? >> the first night was under $19, but in a book on one night. the other day i realized i had not booked it. it turned out it was $250. otherwise, it would have been

$299. go on line to be cost-effective. i stay here every year whether or not i go to dinner because it is so efficient. it is the easiest commute for any event. >> finally, what is your changed to ratio project? >> [no audio] it is a project that focuses on advancing, elevating, and increasing visibility for women. there are a number of people who do not get the at advantage or the attention that white men get. there are other members of the population who deserve some attention. >> rachel sklar is joining us

on the google hang out. thank you for your time this evening. here is another live picture, seven floors down below rachel, the ballroom at the hilton. people seem to be eating. they are walking around and doing a little bit of networking. rachel sklar talked about the fact she wants to change the ratio of white men, women, other minorities. helen thomas, the longtime white house correspondent, talked to as this week. it was a little over 50 years ago that women for the first time were allowed into this dinner. helen thomas of talks about how that happened. >> helen thomas. it has been 50 years that women have been allowed to attend the white house correspondents' dinner. what was your role in making that happen? kabal.as part of the

if you were allowed to be a member of the white house correspondents association, but we were not allowed to go to the dinner. we were shocked. we went to president kennedy the next year -- 1961 when he became president. we were not allowed. we went to kennedy and he agreed it was very unfair. he decided he would not go unless we were allowed. it opened the doors for us. women today do not understand that kind of discrimination, but it was there for 50 years before us. >> what is the importance of this 50th anniversary to you? >> the 50th anniversary since we were allowed in. people should remember the past.

they should remember we were denied. we had to fight to get in. many of the men fought for us and some did not. many later told me they realized how discriminating they were, but they changed. i am sure they are very happy now to have women. >> helen thomas is one of the logging schweitzer -- august serving white house correspondents in history. 50 years since women were allowed to the white house correspondents' dinner. thank you, ms. thomas. >> thank you. >> earlier this week here at c- span, live coverage at the white house correspondents' dinner continues. back at the washington hilton. caren bohan, the president of

the white house correspondents association this year, having dinner with president obama. president obama will be speaking a little bit later. here is a quick and dirty look at the schedule. there is jimmy kimmel and michelle obama, of course. here is a quick look at the schedule of events are tonight that are happening at about 9:45 p.m. eastern time. the announcement of scholarships and awards. kennecott 20, the president is due to speak. 10:45 p.m., jimmy kimmel will be the entertainment at the end of the evening. there is mr. kramer from cnbc chatting around the table. we will continue to show you the room and will continue to read some tweets.

elaine tweets, " this is not a nerd prom, it is a nerd parade." "what level of nerdiness is it to be watching the red carpet of the white house correspondents' dinner on c-span?" "this just in, nobody looks glamorous on an escalator." "nerd prom, everybody looks lighke harry potter." here is a picture taken by some neighbors of the washington hilton. this is the traffic in front of his house. the hilton hotel is there in the background. you can see the white building

there. not sure if we are showing that or not. whotweet is nadine = -- " wants to crash the white house correspondents' dinner with me? if the salhis can do it, it must be easy." this is from colin hanks, one of the celebrities. "apparently there are only three types of people in washington, d.c. -- republicans, democrats, and joggers." a little before 6:30, a lot of the guests were arriving for the reception. we want to show you some of those arrivals at the washington hilton now.

>> what are you wearing? you look ravishing. >> i had a very exciting day. [unintelligible]

>> those arrivals were from about 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. eastern time this evening. we're back live. that is the washington hilton ballroom. about two thousand journalists and they are invited guests are there. you can see people milling about. dinner has been served. the program itself is about to start in 10 minutes. they are a little bit late tonight. so it may be a little later. about 9:40 p.m. eastern time, the program is about to start. scholarships and awards. president obama will speak. and jimmy kimmel will wrap up the evening as the entertainment. c-span spoke with jimmy chemo at the white house earlier this week. we want to assure you that. jimmy kimmel, the washington hilton, tough room, quirky crowd -- how do you prepare for this?

>> every time people say that, it makes me nervous. if the room is tough, you have to fight your way out of it. maybe i just want shoa. maybe i will have a moment of silence for like 40 minutes. it will give everybody time to collect their thoughts. >> it will be an exciting moment on c-span. otherwise, how you prepare for this? >> we write a lot of jokes. we tried to determine if there to offensive for the room. we debate that's sort of thing a lot. ultimately, we come up with a bunch of jokes in a certain order that we feel will work. when i say we, i mean me and my writers at the show. and then i read them to people, yes. and we see how it goes. >> where do you draw the line when it comes to cinch and not to burn? >> there are a lot of lines. there seems to be lined with everything.

you do not want to harp on one topic. obviously, the secret service thing is something i will talk about, but i will not necessarily do 30 jokes about it. probably stop at 20. >> have you ever had an experience to have the president of the united states this into jokes? have it good is he for a comedian? >> the president does not great for comedians because he could probably be a comedian himself if he wanted to. it is more fun when you have a bill clinton or george bush, andle who are more cartooniny do different things. the president kind of keeps to himself. if you throw him the best of all, he makes the shot. it is really annoying. -- if you throw him a basketball, he makes the shot. it is really annoying. >> are you a political comedian?

>> not really. i probably talk about the kardashian family more than i do about politics. >> how long have you been out on this trip? " what kind of interaction have you had with washington? >> we got in this morning. i let washington. the fact that you can do to these monuments under the lincoln memorial in the middle of the night is really fantastic. it is something that, when i came here, i did not think we would be looking at a statue. just to see the moral, the white house -- we are in love with us. i have never been in the white house before. i probably will never be asked again. it is very cool. >> what do you think about the attention that the washington press corps gives to this dinner? >> it makes sense that the press would give a lot of attention to a dinner that they host or put

on. yes, there is a lot of attention. but it is an unusual thing. you have a very unusual mix of people sitting in a room -- the president and all the top people in media and you hire some buffoon to come in and entertain. in a little way, you feel like you have been commanded by the king to be the court jester or something. >> seth meyers has done this, don imus, rich little -- have consulted with them or watched their performances? eth. spoke to sou i spoke to steven colbert as well. frank sinatra posted this thing, i found. there's so much history here. it really is an honor. i know it is a cliche, but it is an honor to be asked to do something like this. >> when were you asked and what was your initial reaction?

>> secret service agents broke into my bedroom in the middle of the night -- [laughter] this.id, you're doing i said, cannot we relax, maybe go out and have a few drinks. they called my agent who called me and i thought, oh, great. then i realized that actually had to do it. >> what is your background? where are you from? >> i grew up in brooklyn. i'm from las vegas. i did not graduate college. i was in radio for a long time before wound up on television. somehow, i wound up here. >> jimmy kimmel, tonight's entertainment at the white house correspondents' dinner. >> the program has just started at the hilton and this is a video that they are showing. enjoy your evening. [captioning performed by national captioning institute] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2012]

>> please welcome the first lady of the united states of america. [applause] >> will you please sit down? please sit down. the first and most important job of the white house correspondents association is to promote journalism education this year, we will give away

$332,000 to worthy college students while funding programs to local dc high schools through our partnership with time-warner media. to start off, we're pleased to welcome three students from howard university, one of our longtime partners, they are shaquille brewster of connecticut, christina downs of washington, d.c., and saraya wintersmith of washington, d.c.. [applause] our next award made in memory of devore orin who served as the white house correspondent, she lost her battle with cancer in 2007. we reward her $5,000 in

her memory. they are jenna barnes of norfolk, va. and benjamin kesling of lexington, ky. [applause] we're also honored to award $5,000 to ship to a mall of the luck azeez -- $5,000 scholarship to amul abdulla azeez. ryann rakowski of pennsylvania, site who of china, jessica to , joseph -- of china.

at northwestern university, we are proud to award $5,000 to david steiner of evanston, illinois. at the university of california berkeley, and jamie goldberg will receive a $5,000 scholarship. this year, the board also created a one-time memorial scholarship for jack donaldson, an actor in a baseball player who died in 2011 as the result of a storm-related accident. the recipient of $24,000 --

24,000 two hundred dollars, chosen from a talented pool of applicants from mckinley technology high school in washington, d.c. additionally, the internship of mass media has been awarded. let me conclude by saying thank you from the white house correspondents association. to the first lady, to the president, your presence here tonight allows us to find these important programs. thank you very much. [applause]

>> thank you. first lady michelle obama and michael and congratulations to the winners of this year's scholarships. [applause] as part of our mission to help pave the way for the next group of journalists, the white house correspondents association has partners with prime movers media in washington, d.c. here's a look at this unique mentor ship program. >> journalists contribute to the social good. it is cultural. college interns learn from the students. the students learn from the journalists. it gives media companies an opportunity to share with young people.

these are young people with dreams. >> i am a prime mover. >> prime movers is an intensive mentoring journalism program that targets young people. >> i go to school at the george washington university. >> you work with these kids who are so interested in so interested in the possibilities. it is great to see them. some of them to really want to become journalists. some of them are just becoming better riders along the way. -- better writers along the way. >> they help us with the beginning stages. without prime movers, we would not be where we are today. >> it has fundamentally changed the way politics in this country -- in ways that we have yet to figure this out. >> prime movers media is a fantastic program that gives us

the chance to connect with these talented and promising young people who walk into the classroom. >> when these journalists come into their schools to touch and develop them, to help them understand what it means to be a citizen and what it means to have the rights of the first amendment, the freedom of the press means -- these are life changing experiences. so many of these kids are at a crossroads between progress and danger. >> growing up in d.c., it is hard down the street. everywhere you can go is a bad choice. having the right people having your back helps me succeed.

>> hi, come on in. >> without prime movers, i would not be here in now. >> it is so important that kids have access to programs like this. this is a program that really works. and it really has a big impact on their lives. >> it was inspiring to see someone who is not the much older than me at the white house doing what they want to do and doing what they love to do. >> oh, my goodness. we were really close to the oval office. guy and ast a standing between me and the door. >> one day, i would like to work in the white house. or just be a journalist. >> this is the west wing, the heart beat, not just of this nation, but the world.

>> we are covering the white house, just a few miles from here. so often, her past do not cross with people who live just a few miles from us. prime movers media brings the city closer together. it gives us a chance to learn from each other and be inspired by each other. everyone wins. >> many kids face a tough choice. we want them to make directors. prime movers needs to help them make the right choice. [applause] >> please join me in welcoming david gregory, host of nbc's's "meet the press." [applause]

>> myerlee do not think any distinction to get another one? [laughter] i will leave -- i really do not think i need this. should i get another one? [laughter] good evening, everyone. it is hard to see what an intimate dinner this is with all these lights. it is my honor to present all of these awards. this one honors excellence in news coverage of subjects and events of significant national or regional importance, written with fairness and object .ommittee pared it it is in honor of their distinguished correspondent edgar a. poe. adam goldman, eileen sullivan, anchors collier the associated press. [applause]

>> i will not move it. i cannot think it is a good idea. the marion smith memorial award for excellence in presidential news coverage under deadline treasure originated in 1970 in memory of marion smith of the united press international white house correspondents for more than 30 years. that is getting into bill plante territory, right, bill? the award for 2012 and it's

great category goes to lunch rush, carry better frown, and john press and of politico. [applause] and the $2,500 marion smith memorial award for 2012 in the

broadcast category goes to jake tapper of abc news. [applause] [laughter] are we ready?

this award recognizes journalistic excellence and personal qualities of the former president of the white house correspondents association and correspond 4 "the chicago tribune,." this year, the award goes to scott wilson of "the washington post." [applause]

>> thank you, david. and congratulations to the winners of the 2012 white house correspondents association awards. [applause] this year marks the 90th anniversary of the white house correspondents association. [applause] this dinner is known for its red carpet movie stars and high- profile news makers. but it is the journalists who cover the white house day in and day out who are at the core of the correspondents association. i would like to take a minute to recognize their hard work. with social media and blogging, the white house beat has become a 24/7 corporation like never before. reporters, photographers, and producers work long hours in the

briefing room and on the road with the president. they are fulfilling an important mission. please give them a big round of applause. [applause] now, ladies and gentlemen, before i introduce the president, i would like to make a few acknowledgments. i would like to think reuters for giving me the incredible privilege of covering the white house and being part of the 20 -- of the 2008 campaign team. [applause] i am so glad my family is here and i would like to thank them for all of their support. [applause] and i would like to recognize the journalists appear on this stage who serve on the white house correspondents association board with me. you have done a fabulous work on

behalf of our members and i have been so proud to work alongside you. [applause] finally, i would like to thank a woman whose professionalism and grace under pressure are the reasons for this dinners success. this is julia with its 20th year as executive director of the correspondent association awards. [applause] she brings warmth and finesse to an incredibly difficult job and i have learned so much from her. please give julia winston a big round of applause. [applause] it has been the tradition of the

correspondents association to offer a toast to the president of united states. i would like to include first lady michelle obama in his toast. [applause] the president is a busy man. last year, on the weekend of the correspondents' dinner, he was especially busy. [laughter] [applause] but he still found time to come to our dinner. so we appreciate his presence here tonight and we appreciate the first lady making time to be here, too. [applause] ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to president barack obama and first lady

michelle obama. [cheers and applause] thank you. >> will someone back there please turn off the president's mike? [laughter] .he president's mike is hot thank you. >> great, i have to get warmed up. love -- in

god, i totally have that. since the coming as, what am i doing here? i am the president of united states and i am opening for jimmy camelbacks why am i -- jimmy chemo? why am i telling not not just to kim kardashian? why is she famous anyway? that's it. next year, we stand by. no, you're right. that is way too risky. wow, look at my hair and do you think anybody would notice if i went a little darker? right now, i am a five on the just for men scale. is the teleprompter working? are you kidding? what you expect me to do out there? i literally have no idea what i'm saying tonight. [toilet flush] man, i could really use a

cigarette break now. [laughter] ok, i'm going. god for gatt -- god forbid we keep chuck and the cast from "glee" waiting. [laughter] >> ladies and gentlemen, the president of united states. [applause] >> thank you! good evening, everybody. i cannot be more thrilled to be here tonight. at the white house correspondents' dinner. [laughter] what a great crowd. they're already laughing. terrific. i am delighted to see that some of the members of "glee"

are here. [laughter] what's so funny? my fellow americans, we gather during the historic anniversary. last year at this time, in fact on this very weekend, we finally delivered just as to one of the world's most notorious individuals. [cheers and applause] [laughter] now, this year -- we gather in the midst of a heated election season. and i'm told the should never miss a chance to reintroduce

myself to the american people. so tonight, this is how i would like to begin. my name is barack obama. my mother was born in kansas. my father was born in kenya. and i was born, of course, in hawaii. [laughter] [applause] in 2009, i took office in the face of some enormous challenges. some said i blamed too many problems on my predecessor. but let's not forget that the practice that was initiated by george w. bush. [laughter] since then, congress and i have certainly had our differences. and i have tried to be civil. not take any cheap shots.

and that is why i want to especially thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight. let's >> and let's give them a big round of applause. [laughter] >> despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office. four years ago, i was locked in a brutal primary battle. four years later hillary won't stop drunk texting me.

>> four years ago i was a washington outsider. four years later i am at this dinner. four years ago i looked like this. today, i look like this. for years from now, i will look like this. [laughter] that is not even funny. >> is great to be here this evening in the vast magnificent ballroom.

mitt romney would call it a fixer upper. look at this party. we have men in the taxes and women in and downs. fine wine and first class entertainment. i was relieved of this was not a gsa conference. unbelievable. not even the mind reader knew what they were thinking. of course the correspondents' dinner is known as the promise of a washington, d.c.. a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had a chance to go to an actual problem.

prom. our chaperone for the evening is jimmy kimmel. he is perfect for the job because most of the audience is in his key demographic, people who fall asleep during "nightline." [laughter] he got his start years ago on "the man that show." in washington, that is what we call a congressional hearing on contraception. plenty of journalists are here tonight, and i would be remiss if i did not congratulate "the huntington post," on their a pulitzer prize.

no one else out there is at linking it to the hard-hitting journalism that they are every single day. give them a round of applause. and you do not pay them? that is a great business model. [laughter] even at sara pailin is getting back into the game. it reminds me of an old saying, what is the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? a pit bull is delicious. [laughter] a little soy sauce. [laughter]

now, i know at this. many of you are expecting me to go after my opponent, newt gingrich. there is still time a man. i am not going to do that. i will not attack any of the republican candidates. take mitt romney. he and i have a lot in common. we both think of our wives as are better hats. -- better halves. an alarming rate of the american people agree. it we both also have degrees from harvard. i have one, and he has a two.

what a snub. snob. we have also had our differences. the campaign criticized me for slwow jamming the news. apparently romney was so incensed that he asked for equal time on the merv griffin show. [laughter] i would guess he is feeling good about things because it's of a few hours of the other day to see "the hunkered games."

it is a movie about people who court wealthy sponsors and savage each other until only one contestant was left standing. i am sure it was a great change of pace for him. i have not seen the "the hunger games." not enough class warfare for me. everyone is predicting a nasty election, and we have all agreed that families are off-limits. dogs are apparently fair game. while both campaigns have had some fund from this, the other day i saw a new ad from one of these outside groups that frankly i think crossed the line. i know governor romney says he has no control over what his super pacs do, but can we shall

be added? >> you took your irish setter on a 12 hour road trip tied to the roof of your car. >> he climbed up there regularly and my guess is he like it better of their then inside. >> finally, a candidate who can fight for his dogs freedom to feel the wind in his fur. what about president obama? under his leadership, man's best friend has been forced into automobiles. imagine the european style socialism that he has planned for the next four years. more government handouts, a life of government dependencies, indoctrinating our children, a left wing social agenda, a leading from behind. ♪

>> americas dogs cannot afford four more years of obama. that is 28 years for them. that they need a leadership now. that is why we need to join mitt romney in sending a message this november. i am a america and ended i run outside. [applause] >> that is pretty rough. but i cannot take it, because my step father always told me it is a boy eat dog world out there. if i do win a second term as

president, let me just say something to all of my conspiracy oriented friends on the internet who think i am planning to unleash some secret agenda. you are absolutely right. allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda of that you can expect it in a second obama administration. in my first term, i sang al green that, in my second term i am going with young jeezy. michelle likes that. i sing that to her sometimes. in my first term, we ended the war in iraq, in my second term i

will win the war on the christmas. in my first term, we repealed the policy known as "don't ask, don't tell," in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as "it is raining men of." in my first term, we passed health care reform. in my second term, i guess i will pass it again. [applause] i do want to and tonight on a slightly more serious note. whoever takes the oath of office next january will face some great challenges, but he will

also inherit traditions that make us greater than the challenges we face. one of those traditions is represented here tonight. the free press who is not afraid to ask questions, to examine, and to criticize. in service of that mission, all of you make sacrifices. to night we remembered journalists such as anthony and marty. -- marie. they made the ultimate sacrifice as they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our times. whether you are a logger or a broadcaster, or you take on powerful interests in home or put yourself in harm's way overseas, i have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do. i know that you like to give me a hard time, and i like to return the favor. but i never forget that our

country depends on you. you help protect our freedom, democracy, and our way of life. just to set the record straight, i really do enjoy attending these dinners. in fact, i had a lot more material prepared, but i need to get this secret service home in time for their new curfew. thank you very much everybody. [laughter] [applause] >> before i begin my

presentation tonight, have put something special together. we pitched in to help the sec to keep the public airwaves clean by bleeding and learn things. please enjoyed a special white house correspondents association dinner version of this week in it "unnecessary censorship." >> good afternoon ladies and gentlemen -- >> i've told leaders of both parties that they must come up with a fair compromise in the old days -- trying to find bipartisan health care reform in capitol hill -- >> i am a regular guy with a big -- >> he just wants to put his

finger in his -- these are gigantic package is -- >> i understand what these politics are about -- >> she is not the only person i have -- i have -- a lot of people. >> i promise you that the president has a big -- >> weekend and the whole day, and i said are you --? after about a minute or two, i started to feel pretty --

>> and now, i would like to introduce a comedian who i think will be at a particular hit with the journalists in this room. jimmy kimmel is known in the world of comedy not only for his sense of humor, but for his work ethic and tenacity. for those of us familiar with the ups and downs of the media business, what is not to like about a guy who has been fired from four radio stations? it is my pleasure to introduce jimmy kimmel, host of a meat -- abc's "jimmy kimmel live." [applause] >> thank you and good evening ladies and gentlemen and distinguished guests. mr. president shalam. [laughter]

i was told this would be a high profile of and with some of the most high-profile people and the world. they did not tell me i would be looking directly into sofia avage.a's clevag this is what women look like in colombia. what you expect the secret service to do? mr. president cover your ears if that is physically possible. i do have a lot of jokes about the secret service. i told them for $800 they wouldn't -- i wouldn't tell them, but they only offered $30. i am happy to see that congress is taking this very seriously. he went so far as to fly back to colombia to investigate personally.

i know the administration has been cracking down, but it is that happened on president clinton's watch, you can be sure those agents would have banned discipline with a very serious high fives. palms would be read. the plane is leaving for the after party in the four seasons in dubai. he will miss out on your complimentary white tiger cub. i want to thank the washington hilton for hosting us tonight. president obama wanted to move the dinner to the kennedy center, but republicans want to keep it here, so they compromised and here we are at the hilton. [laughter] i am staying at the hotel, and i will be honest, it is not great. i had to change rooms last night

because there was a huge leak in the room above me. i guess peter left his mouth on the -- he told me you guys would like that one. [laughter] mr. president, do you remember when the country rallied around you in hopes of a better tomorrow? that was hilarious. that was your best one yet. but honestly, it is a thrill to be here with the president, a man who was done his best to guide us through difficult times and paid a heavy price for a. there is a term for guys like him, probably not two terms, but there is.

even some of your fellow democrats think you are a push over, and would like to see you stick to your guns. if you do not have any it would like to see you ask eric holder to get some to you. [laughter] it is kind of hard to be funny with the president sitting right next to you and looking at you. somehow, joe biden and manages to do it. i wish he was here. i wish he was here so he could sit behind me and fake clap during the state of the union address. are you enjoying this? this is the first mail he has had in months. they say that diplomacy is a matter of carrots and sticks, and since the first lady has done to the white house, so is dinner. you are very skinny. i felt weird about eating dessert. the reason people like you were

from kenya had nothing to do with your birth certificate. it is because you lost so much weight we thought you were the guy who won the boston marathon. this is i you know we are in bad shape, our president is starting. north is sending an aide. -- north korea is sending him adie. ide. mrs. obama just wanted to be happy. ie, gett is chris christ him. they say that inside of every american governor is a president struggling to get out, and in his case is the only one where you can still hear him screaming. he maybe miss understanding of

new jersey's slocum, it is not the olive garden state. the truth is, the first lady is right, americans are in terrible shape. you can tell how out of shape we are by the way we protest. we used to march, now we occupy. i want to quickly congratulate the protesters. it's a months and months of hackensack and oil, but wall street is no longer greedy. congratulations. white house press secretary is here with us. you also know him as the white guy from every lens crafters commercial. one of his jobs is to keep track of all the hilary rosen said. for all of you unfamiliar, cam, lindsay, she is the woman who

said that can run may never worked a day in her life. the administration tried to distance herself from those comments. her name appeared in the white house visitor lot of 35 times. this is where it gets hilarious. he said it wasn't sure it was the same hillary rosen, i perosnally know there of them. where did they all come from? did you put them in the rose in the garden of -- rosen garden? that sounds like president clinton's worst nightmare. is that slut rush limbaugh

here? there is a reason he said what he said, and it is percocet. to clear things up, here is the difference between him and bill maher. the people who watch him know he is a -- just in case a spelling bee breaks out, we are covered. numerous members of the print media in attendance. it reminds me of a riddle. what is a black and white and red all over? nothing anymore. really, but not ok?

are the cnn and tables and real tables or virtual tables? every election year they come up with new and more increasingly amazing technology. they had a magic wall and a hologram, but with all their technical wizardry, they have not come up with a way to make james carville look less like a hair less oil the cat. chris matthews of ms nbc wrote a biography of jfk. it is 476 pages long. rick santorum was throwing up all night. i have my own theory about lincoln's death. i think he was innocent. i do not think it was an assassination. i think he had a vision of what the republican party would become, and he shot himself. is the foxtail laughing?

did rupert murdoch hack into all of my jokes already? some people think he was intentionally trying to appear to be confused when he was testifying, but he is 81 years old. i think he not help -- have to know how to use a cell phone book for you can hack into one. he paid five under and $85 million for my space, clearly he knows nothing about technology. fox news is the grumpy old men of cable. loud and stubborn, and just had a mole removed. is the thought small here? i would like to salute him. without his braves sacrifice, we would never know the bathrooms were overdue for renovation. licking two videos does not make you a mall, it makes you a freckle. fox has moved a bit to the left

of hugo job as a lately. rachel mandel is a big star -- rachel maddow is a big star but manages to find time to cut her own hair. the rachel was a very different hairstyle when jennifer anniston had it. her book says that the world is under different circumstances than the world was founded. women always nag. the artist dog is here. he can roll over on command. he is a democrat. if mitt romney ever invites you to go for a ride, called shotgunned.

if the president tries to butter you, run. you do not have to reveal everything in an autobiography. you can leave some things out. when you go to a dog park, is it the same as when we look at a tankful of lobsters? the president was very candid in an interview with the atlantic a couple of weeks ago, calling conde west -- kanye west. he got the wrong west. it should have been allen west. george clooney is here. the winner gets to have dinner with the president at george clooney is housed. i've always dreamed of having a

hot pocket with the president and batman. if you do not win the raffle, you can still win a dinner with george himself if you are a blonde with a perfect body. where is sully sullenberger? would you mind driving lindsay low hand at home? run into aou don't grey goose. good morning america just be the today show for the first time in 16 years. he is writing a, a high is not the word. he is very pleased. 16 years ago, there wasa book or googol.

what a collection of people we have in the room. advertisers, lobbyists, celebrities -- everything that is wrong with america is here in this room tonight. unfortunately, speaker of the house john boehner is not. yours are the only ones that he declines, mrs. obama. don't worry, he is probably just afraid somebody will ask him to pass the salt and he will not have the votes. eric cantor cannot be here tonight. it started during the debt ceiling negotiations, when they could not agree on the wording of the ransom note, and it went downhill from there. interesting fact about speaker boehner, the reason he smokes nominee cigarettes is his tears keep putting them out. minority leader nancy pelosi is not here either, but her lipstick is. it is on my glass from last year. it's a policy believes in lipstick the same way that she

believed -- nancy pelosi believes in lipstick the same way that she believes in government -- too much is never enough. i am having a lot of fun and washington, agreed city with all of the history and monuments. i was at the lincoln memorial last night. back in the 1960's, on this very spot, forest gump reunited with jenny. it is fun to have conversations with people who are so passionate about politics. i talked with a guy who was a huge supporter of obama-care at a guy who said it was a disaster. it is interesting because i had never met mitt romney before. mitt romney is the inevitable republican candidate for president. they picked him out of the lands and catalog. that is how he was discovered. some people think he will be elected president because he is mormon. this country is more open-minded than that.

we elected african-american president. we would absolutely elect a mormon president, just not mitt romney. stevie wonder just said, we elected african-american president? we heard him compare the campaign to win at a sketch. when i don't think at a sketch, i think twister. one foot on red, one foot on blue, both hands on green. you cannot have a beer with him because he does not strike, you cannot have coffee with him because he cannot have caffeine, you cannot play monopoly with him because he will put the dog on the car. rick santorum is out. it was not his year. his year is 1954. it is fun at opposing gay marriage. it is something altogether to oppose it in a sweater vest. [laughter] [applause]

in the end, rick santorum may not have won the nomination, but he succeeded in getting his message out not to just americans but people all flats of the world. ron paul is still in there, sticking with it. to me, he looks like the guy who gets unhooded at the end of every "scoobie doo" episode. it is great that newt gingrich is here tonight. but i guess that means the check cleared. newt, how can you be against gay marriage when you are the son of two gay parents, the michelin man and the stay-puff marshmallow man? when you think about it, art all marriages kind of day? essentially what you get married as a man you are saying i will never touch another woman as

long as i live. now let's put jewelry on each other and dance. [laughter] [applause] not that it is any of my business, but why are you waiting until tuesday to drop out? it is time to mitt or get off the pot. the president finally gave in and agreed to a super pak, which initially vice president biden was excited about, until he found out a super pak was not one of those boxes with all the different chips. let's get rid of super committees. super committees or to committees what the super cuts is to cuts. all right, for the fun part of the evening. look under your seats. but under each you'll find a copy of keith olberman's resume. is he here tonight? the limo would not pick him up? the thing about keith is he a so likable. [laughter] al gore launched current tv in

2005 and it took off like a north korean rocket. [laughter] to be honest, i did not know court tv was still on the air, but then i don't get channel a million. keith burned more bridges than the arsonist of madison county, he has more pink slips that than marthbogman. too soon? standup, markets. i have a real question for you mr. president, what is what the marijuana and crack down? what is the concern, we will complete the nation's blood and supply? pot smokers a vote, too, sometimes a week after the election, but the vote.

let's take a poll. raise your hand if you have never smoked pot. there we go. look at brit hume. he has high right now. he is on his fourth allman the macaroon. i hope you don't think i am out of line, but marijuana is something that people care about. if you believe speaker boehner when he tells you that he still has control of his party, it leads me to believe that you are smoking crazy great wheat it yourself. woody harrelson just woke up. last year at this dinner, president obama had his way out -- had his team on the way to kill osama bin laden. who will be this year? [laughter] if your looking for the biggest threat to america right now, she is right there, her name is kim kardashian. when you took office, they had one reality show. now i have four.

this is not a good trend. right now, navy teelseal team 6 is outside their house disguised as the denver nuggets' so they can sneak in. i have a question, who are these people think it would be a good idea to attack iran? i hear people say nuke them, do it now. they are a bunch of yahoos and netanyahus. they should focus on what they have in common, which is a mutual love of falaful and terrible dance music. i did not understand all of the anger directed at the president. he is funny, athletic, beautiful singing voice, devoted to his family. even with all of his responsibilities, he still finds time to go to his kids' soccer

games and move the goalposts. i think that is commendable. president obama wants everybody in america to have health care, whether we want it or not. i have figured that out, you are not from kenya. it is even worse, you are from canada. this health care reform plan has everybody angry. there seems to be a lot of anger. if i could get serious for a moment, i believe that we truly want to overcome the problems that we face, we have to do it together. we have to get this country, this great country, a land of liberty and justice for all, and it does not matter if you are black but president obama or white like president obama or red light president obama's agenda, or orange like speaker boehner, america is and always will be, as a great man once put it, a place where a man is not judged by the color of his skin but the number of twitter followers. it has been an honor for me to be here before summoning members of the washington and national media. you are here because as drug

lists you care about freedom, free speech, freedom of pressure, and free dinner. some say journalism as a decline, you are too politicized, too focused on sensationalism, that you no longer under your duty to inform america but try to divide us so that your appropriate overboard to rake in profits. i don't have a joke for this. i am just letting you know what some people say. [laughter] in conclusion, it has been an honor for me to be here tonight, and i would like to thank them for inviting me and jake for writing all of the jokes that you did not like. i also want to thank mr. mills, my 10th grade high school history teacher, who said i would never amount to anything if i kept scoring around in class. mr. mills, i am about to high 5 the president of the united states. [laughter] [applause] eat it, mills. thank you, everybody.

>> ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the next president of the white house correspondents association, ed henry of fox news. [applause] >> thank you, everyone. i know that i am standing between the president getting home and all of you getting to parties, so i will be brief. even though i am the vice president of this organization. just kidding. i respect the vice president, the president. everybody asks, what is the

relationship like now that you are at fox. i say it is great, except one time a couple months ago i got really excited around christmas, when the holiday card came from the first family. i looked at the envelope and said, to whom it may concern. i said, really? all i wanta say is thank you, mr. president, for showing our profession and the respect of being here every year have been in office. i want to thank the first lady. you have honored us with your presence every year the president has been in office. and i want to thank the two other ladies who are here, one of whom is celebrating her birthday this week. [applause] my first lady, surely, who is here. -- shirley. and finally, this dinner would be nothing without karen, who is

not just a wonderful journalist, but a wonderful human being. and i am honored to follow her. and so i have a gavel to give you. [applause] >> ed will escort the president and mrs. obama off the stage. please remain in your seat until the president and first lady have departed. thank you for coming, and have a great evening. [applause] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2012] [captioning performed by national captioning institute]

>> the crowd is thinning out at the white house correspondents'

dinner. it was attended by political figures and celebrities. president obama made remarks earlier today at the dinner. the main entertainment of the evening was by jimmy kimmel. we will show you the remarks again. we will show the entire event, including the red carpet event. >> can someone please turn off the president's mic. thank you. >> great. i need to get warmed up. ♪ i am so in love ♪ i totally have that. what am i doing wrong here? i am the president of the united states. why am i opening up for kimmy

kimmkimmy kimmel? right.'re that's too risky. what happened to my hair? it is all gray. i think i am a five on the mne's scale. is the teleprompter working? are you kidding? what do you expect me to do out there? i have no idea what i am saying tonight. [toilet flush] man, i could use a cigarette. good thing we have the cast of "glee" waiting. >> ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the president of the

united states. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. good evening, everybody. good evening. i cannot be more thrilled to be here tonight. i venture of the white house correspondents' dinner. great crowd. chuck, love your brother. delighted to see cast members of "glee" and jimmy kimmel. it is an honor. [laughter] my fellow americans, we gather during a historic anniversary.

last year at this time, we finally delivered justice to one of the world's most the tories individuals. -- notorious individuals. [cheers and applause] [laughter] now this year, we gather in the midst of a heated election season. some say i should never missed a chance to reintroduce myself to the american people. this is how i will begin. my name is barack obama. my mother was born in kansas. my father was born in kenya. i was born in hawaii.

[laughter] [applause] in 2009, i took office in the face of some enormous challenges. some say i blame too many problems of my predecessor. let's not forget the practices that were initiated by george w. bush. [laughter] since then, congress and i have had our differences. i try not to take cheap shots. that is why i want to thank all of the members who took a break from their exhausting schedules of not passing any laws to be here tonight. let's give them a round of

applause. [laughter] [applause] despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office. four years ago, i was in a primary battle with hillary clinton. four years later, she will not stop texting me. [laughter] four years ago, i was a washington outsider. four years later, i am at this dinner. four years ago, i looked like this. today i look like this. [laughter]

four years from now, i will look like this. [laughter] that is not even funny. [laughter] it is great to be here this evening in the vast and magnificent ballroom, or mitt romney would call a fixer upper. [laughter] [applause] look at this party. we have men in tuxedos. women in downs. fine wine. great entertainment.

-- women in gowns. [applause] of course the white house correspondents' dinner is known as the prime of washington d.c. a turning point for reporters who never have a chance to go to a prom. [laughter] our chaperone for the evening is kimmel.my he is perfect for the job. people who watch a show and fall asleep during "nightline."

jimmy had his start years ago. in washington recall it a congressional hearing on contraception. [applause] plenty of journalists are here tonight. i must congratulate the huffington post on their pulitzer prize. you deserve it. [cheers and applause] give them a round of applause. a great business model. [laughter]

even sarah palin is getting back into the game. she is guest hosting on the "today" show. what is the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? a pit bull is delicious. [applause] [laughter] now, i know at this point, many argue are expecting me to go out there might likely opponent -- newt gingrinch.

yes, there is still time, man. [laughter] but i am not going to do that. i am not going to attack any other republican candidates. romney. romnmitt we have a lot of things in common. we think of our wives as our better hats. -- better halves. we also will have degrees. i have one. he has two. what a snob. [laughter] [applause] of course, we have had our differences. recently his campaign criticizing for slanting the

news with jimmy. i understand romney was so upset, he asked his staff if he could get equal time on another show. [laughter] i guess he is feeling pretty good about things. he took a few hours off the other day to see "the hunger games." some of you have seen it. it is about people brutally hurting each other until only one contestant is standing. i'm sure that is a great pace of change for him. [laughter] i have not seen "the hunger games." not enough class warfare for me.

[laughter] of course, i know everyone is predicting the election. we all agree that families are off limits. dogs are fair game. [laughter] both campaigns will have fun with this. the other day, i saw a new ad from one of these outside groups. frankly i think it crossed the line. i know romney he says he has no control over what his super pac to do, but can we should add really quick? >> back in 1983, you took your dog on the road tied to the topd of your car? >> he liked it a lot. >> finally, a candidate willing to work for a dog who wants the

wind under his fur. under president obama, dogma's travel inside. -- dogs must travel inside. where government handouts. indoctrinating average children a left wing social agenda. leading from behind. ♪n the arms of the angel afford's dogs cannot four years more of obama. for them, that is 28 years. our dogs need leadership now. this guy. we need to join it romney in sending a message this november that i am an american.

i ride outside. [cheers and applause] >> that is pretty rough. i have to say this. it is a boy eat dog world out there. [laughter] now, if i do win a second term, let me say something to all of my friends who think i am planning some secret agenda. you are absolutely right. [laughter] i will close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you

can expect in a second obama administration. in my first term, i same al green. in my second term, i am going with something different. michelle says, yeah. i seen that to her sometimes. -- sing that to her sometimes. [laughter] in my first term, we end the war in europe. in my second term, i will win the war on christmas. repealed at term, reveale policy known as a don't ask, don't tell. in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as it is raining men. [laughter]

in in a first term, we passed health care reform. in my second term, i guess i will pass it again. [laughter] i want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note. whoever takes the oath of office next january will face some great challenges, but he will also inherit traditions them is greater than the challenges that we face. one of those traditions is represented here tonight. a free press that is not afraid to ask questions, to examine, and to criticize. to service that mission, all of you make sacrifices. tonight we are adjoujoined by

esteemed journalists. [applause] they make the ultimate sacrifice as they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our time. whether you are a broadcaster or yourself in or put harm's way overseas, i have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do. i know sometimes you like to give me a hard time. i certainly like to return the favor. but i never forget that our country depends on you. you help protect our freedom, democracy, and our way of life. just to set the record check, i really do enjoy attending these dinners. i had a lot more material prepared, but i needed to get to good service home in time for the new curfew. -- secret service home in time

for their new curfew. thank you. [laughter] [applause] >> hello. i am jimmy kimmel. i put something special together. we pitch in to make sure our show is squeaky clean. with that said, please enjoy the special whitehouse correspondents' dinner show. >> good afternoon, ladies and

gentlemen. thank you for coming to the white house for the [bleep] >> i told them they must make a compromise and a [bleep] that i can [bleep] sign. >> they are like children trying to [bleep] unicorns. >> i am a regular guy with bl[bleep] >> are you not getting enough [bleep] >> i can understand what pork barrel politics is all about. >> even though he touched his [bleep] [bleep]