may. >> we did not get too much. the house bill is very different. there is an issue with one large part of it, which is what they would create in the event of appalled. another one is a commission that would oversee these closures. they have very different proposals from the senate. a lot of things to work out between the two chambers. we have a lot ahead. >> the first part that he does not like or objects to, explained that. >> the subcommittee hearing at the end of march, he was there. the whole idea behind this is that if the postal service reaches a default, there would be a board that could take over general management of their financial situation. he sees that as an encroachment on postal service authority. >> $15 billion -- that is the debt ceiling. >> right.

>> what is interesting is you are seeing some of the same issues that play in the house. there are rural republicans concerned about the house bill. people say they're not sure they have the votes. >> house government and oversight chairman. thank you for being here. appreciate it. [captioning performed by national captioning institute] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2012] >> born in north korean work camp, it's the only world he knew and he is the only one to escape from camp 14. >> his first memory is the age of around four and going with his mom to a place where he grew up in the camp to watch someone gets shot. public executions in the camp were held every few weeks. they were a way of punishing

people who violated camp rules and it of terrorizing the 20,000 to 40,000 people lived at the camp to obeyed the rules from the non. >> tonight, at 8:00 on c-span. on may 6, look for our interview with robert caro. it it coincides with "the passage of power, a volume for." >> it during question time this week, the irish prime minister david cameron talked about germy hunt and his former relationship with james murdoch. the opposition has called for hunt's resignation.

that's tonight at 9:00 eastern on c-span. if cn fluent can by the way of public services and publicly provided goods, don't they lose a stake in the public sphere and the quality of those goods? >> mercenaries can be fade to -- tammy faye -- can be paid to fight wars and students can be paid to make great. tonight, a conversation on what money cannot buy. >> president obama pokes fun at himself and his republicans rivals at last night's correspondents' dinner. remarks included passages about his autobiography in which he said he had eaten dog as a boy living inland -- living in indonesia. he also said mitt romney would

consider the washington hilton a fixer upper. comedian jimmy kimmel took the stage and joked about president's years and the first lady's fitness campaign. first, a look at these liberties and just as they arrived for last night's dinner. [interesting conversations] -- in distinct conversations

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we went through a long process.

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>> i decided to move on.

>> thank you.

>> are you going to give it to her? >> all right.

>> especially the republican primaries. and you go, "what are you talking about?" a little bit of free time. >> hi, sweetheart. >> the red carpet arrival.

>> i know. it is one night. >> wolf blitzer your. >> i love it. i loved it. >> could someone back there please turn off the president's microphone? please turn it off. thank you. thank you. >> great. i have to get warmed up. by jm so in love. what am i doing here? i am the president of the united

states, and why am i telling knock-knock joks to tim kardashian. that is it. next year. you are right. that is way too risky. let at my hair. it really went great. do you think anyone would notice if i just went a little darker? right now, i am 85 on the men's scale. i could do to basics, and no one would tell. what do you expect me to do out there? i could really use a cigarette right now.

>> ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the president of the united states. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. thank you. good evening, everybody. good evening. i could not be more thrilled to be here tonight at the white house correspondents' dinner. what a great crowd. they're already laughing. terrific. chiukc, -- chuck, love you, brother. i am delighted to see that some of the members of "glee" are here. and jimmy kimmel. [laughter] what's so funny? my fellow americans, we gather during the historic anniversary.

last year at this time, in fact on this very weekend, we finally delivered just as to one notoriousld's most individuals. [cheers and applause] [laughter] now, this year -- we gather in the midst of a heated election season. and i'm told the should never miss a chance to reintroduce myself to the american people. so tonight, this is how i would like to begin. my name is barack obama. my mother was born in kansas. my father was born in kenya. and i was born, of course, in

hawaii. [laughter] [applause] in 2009, i took office in the face of some enormous challenges. some said i blamed too many problems on my predecessor. but let's not forget that the practice that was initiated by george w. bush. [laughter] since then, congress and i have certainly had our differences. and i have tried to be civil. not take any cheap shots. and that is why i want to especially thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight.

applause. [applause] despite many obstacles, it is changed during my time in office. four years ago, is locked in a battle with hillary clinton and she started drunk texting me from cartagena. [laughter] four years ago, i was a washington outsider and four years later, i am at this dinner. [laughter] this. today i look like this. [laughter]

and four years from now i will look like this. [laughter] that's not even funny. [laughter] anyway, it is great to be here it this evening in the best, magnificent, hilton ballroom or what mitt romney would call a fixer upper. [applause] look at this party. we have men in tuxes, women in entertainment.

conference. unbelievable not even a mind thinking. [laughter] the white house correspondents' dinner is known as the prom of washington, d.c., a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had a chance to go to a prom. [applause] our chaperone for the evening is jimmy kimmel who is perfect for the job since most of tonight's audience is in his key asleep during "nightline."

[laughter] i promise you. >> the irish prime minister was -- jimmy got his start on the man show. that is what we call a program on contraception. [cheers and applause] and plenty of journalists are here tonight. i would be remiss if i did not congratulate the huffington post on their pulitzer prize. you deserve it. there is no one cows -- out there linking to what you are every day. [cheers and applause] and is a great business model.

even sarah palin is getting back into the game. guest hosting on the today show. which reminds me of an old sailor -- an old saying. what is the difference between a hot dog and a pit bull? a pit bull is delicious. now, and in many of you are looking for me to go answer my

opponent, newt gingrich. but i am not going to do that. i am not going to attack any of the republican candidates. take mitt romney. he and i actually have a lot in common. we both think of our wives as are better half. and the american people agree. we also both have degrees from harvard. i have one. i hat -- he has two. what a snob. of course, we have had our differences.

the campaign accused may. i understand governor romney was so incensed, he wanted to have equal time on "the merv griffin show." against governor romney is hunger gamwes." -- games." court wealthy sponsors and burly is left standing. i'm sure this was a change of pace for him. [laughter] i have not seen "the hunger games."

not enough class warfare for me. [laughter] predicting a nasty election and thankfully we all agree that families are off limits. dogs, however, are fair game. [laughter] the other day, i saw a new>> now, i would like to introduce a -- anyone that i think it crossed the line. i know mitt romney says he has no control over what they do. but let me show you real quick. >> back in 1983, you took your irish etc. on a 12-hour road trip. >> he climbed of their regularly and enjoyed himself. he would like it better. >> a cannon with a courage to

fight for the dogs right to feel the wind in his fur, but what about barack obama? under his failed leadership, man's best friend has been forced into a government controlled automobiles. just imagine a european-style dog socialism that obama has planned for the next four years. more government handouts. government dependency. indoctrinating our children, and left-wing socialist agenda, leading from behind. in the arms of an angel ♪ >> dogs cannot afford four more years of barack obama's. for them, that is 28 years. this guy. and that is why we need to join mitt romney in sending a mission

-- message. i am an american, and doggone it, i ride outside. [cheers and applause] >> that is pretty rough. but i can take it, because i was told it was -- eat dog world out there. now, if i do win a second term as president, but me just say something to all of the -- that we just say something to all of my conspiracy oriented friends on the right and think i am planning to unleash some secret agenda. you are absolutely right. allow me to close with a quick

preview of the secret agenda you can expect any second obama administration. in my first term, i sang and al green. in my second term, i am going with al jeezy. i sing that to her sometimes. in my first term, we ended the war in iraq. in my second term, i will win the war on christmas. in my first term, which repealed a policy known as do not ask, do not sell. in my second term, we will

replace it with a policy known as it is raining men. in my first term, we pass health care reform. in my second term, i guess i will pass it again. [applause] i do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note. whoever takes the oath of office next january will face some great challenges, but there in the traditions that make as greater than the challenges we face, and one of those traditions is represented here tonight, a free press, asking questions to examine and criticize, and in service of the nation, all make sacrifices.

tonight, we remember some journalists. [applause] who made the altman sacrifice. they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our time, so whether you are a blogger or a broadcaster or you have partial interests here at home or put yourself in harm's way overseas, i have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do. and is sometimes you like to give me a hard time, and i certainly like to return the favor, but i never forget that our country depends on you. you help protect our freedom, our democracy, and our way of life. and just to set the record straight, i really do enjoy these dinners. in fact, i have a lot more

material prepared, but i have to get the secret service home in time for their new curfew. thank you. [applause] >> hi, i am jimmy kimmel. this is something we do every weeks, to keep the fcc clean. please enjoy our dinner version of this week in unnecessary censorship.

>> president obama says it is [beep] kicking time. >> it is like children trying to [beep] corns. >> i have [beep] , sexual. >> harry reid just wants to put his finger -- >> look, these are gigantic packages. >> i understand what pork barrel politics is all about. i [beep] >> it was a great interview. >> even though you [beep]

>> the only thing about this particular one is she happened to be female. >> i promise you, the president has a big [beep]. >> he was introducing the president. they had a wonderful time. >> i am ready to go. after about a minute or two. i am starting to feel [beep] too. [cheers and applause] >> and now, i would like to introduce a canadian who i think will be a particular hit with journalists in this room. jimmy kimmel is known for his work ethic and his tenacity. for those of us familiar with the ups and downs of the media

business, what is not to like about a guy who has been fired from four radio stations? [laughter] ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce jimmy kimmel, host of "jimmy kimmel [applause] >> thank you and good evening president. salaam. [laughter] it is wonderful to be here. they told me it would be a high- profile event with some of the most powerful people in the world. they did not tell me i would be looking directly at sophia vergara's cleavage. [laughter] i saw you texting. this is what women look like in colombia. what do you expect the secret service to do?

[laughter] mr. president, i know you will not be able to the secret service. cover your ears if that is physically possible. [laughter] i do have a lot of jokes about the secret service. you know,i told them for $300 i would not tell them but they only offered 30. [laughter] i am happy to see thatcongress is taking this seriously. daivd vitter is taking this seriously, personally. [applause] i know the a administration has been cracking down, but if this happened on president clinton's watch, you can damn well bet they would have been disciplined with a very serious high five. [laughter] palms would be red. has tickets to the gsa after party, the plane is leaving for the four seasons in dubai at

midnight on the dot. [laughter] don't be late or you will miss out on your complimentary white tiger cubs. [laughter] i want to thank the washington hilton for hosting us today. you know,president obama wanted to move the dinner to the kennedy center but the republicans wanted to keep at the hilton. so they compromised and here we are at the hilton. [laughter] [applause] i am staying at the hotel. i will be honest, it is not great. i had to change rooms last night because there was a leak in the room above me. peter orszag left his mouth on. [laughter] he told me you guys would likehe told me a lot of stuff. [laughter] if you told me when i was a kid i would be sitting on the same stage with president barack obama -- i would have said, the[laughter]

- the presiden'ts name is barack obama? mr. president, remember when the country rallied around you in hopes of a better tomorrow? that was hilarious. [laughter] [applause] that was the best one yet. but honestly, it is a thrill for me to be here with the president, a man who has done his best to guide us through some difficult times and paid a heavy price for it. there is a term for guys like president obama. probably not two terms, but -- [laughter] there is. even some of your fellow democrats think you are a pushover. mr. president. they would like to see you stick to your guns. if you do not have any guns they would like to ask eric holder to get some for you. [laughter] jake tapper wrote that. it is hard to be funny with the president of the united states

sitting right there, looking at you. and yet day in and day out joe biden manages to do it. [laughter] [applause] i wish he was here. i wish he were here so he could sit behind me and fake clap like he does during the state of the union address. [laughter] are you enjoying this? is this fun for you? this is the first meal he has had in months. they say disk -- diplomacy is a matter of carrots and sticks and since mrs. obama got to the white house, so is dinner. you are very skinny. she does not let you eat. i never have left untouched before. the reason people say you are from kenya has nothing to do with your birth certificate. [laughter] you lost so much weight we thought you were the guy who won the boston marathon. [laughter] this is how you know the country is in bad shape. the president is starving. [laughter] north korea is sending him food aid. [laughter] i had the opportunity to sit next to the first lady.

she's very, very nice. no matter what side of the fence you are on you have to admit she has done a lot of good work. she just wants us to be healthy. really is all. mrs. obama, i thank you for that. [applause] look, it is chris christie, get him. [laughter] you know, they say that inside every american governor is a president struggling to get out. in chris christie's case it is the only when you can still hear him screaming. [laughter] you might be misunderstanding new jersey's slogan. it is not the olive garden[laughter] -- the olive garden state. [laughter] the truth is, the first lady is right. americans are in terrible shape. are by the way we protest.

we used to march. now we occupy. i want to say a quick congratulations to them. it took months of hackie sack and patchoulie oil, but finally wall street is not greedy anymore. [laughter] white house press secretary jay carney is with us today. you also know him as the white guy from every lens crafters commercial. [laughter] one of his jobs is to keep track of all the hillary rosens. [laughter] for those of you not familiar with this story, hillary rosen is a woman who said ann romney never worked a day in her life. even the mrs. romney raised five kids. the administration tried to distance from that comment. they said she is not an adviser even though we found out her name appeared on the visitor lot -- log 35 times.

when reporters asked why, this is where it's hilarious, he said he was not sure it was the same hillary rosen. he said, i personally know 3 hillary rosens. [laughter] you personally know 3 hillary rosens? where did they all come from? the pick them in the hillary rosen guarding? [laughter] i would bet you $10,000 he did not know three, but i am not running for president. [laughter] 3 hillarys. that sounds like president clinton's worst nightmare. [laughter] is that slut rush limbaugh here? people are still upset with rush limbaugh because of comments he made about sandra. but the you know what? there is a reason he said what he said, and that reason is percocet. [laughter] just to clear things up for the extreme right wingers. here is the difference between bill maher and rush limbaugh. the people who watch bill know he is an asshole.

[laughter] [applause] this is my first time here. every news organization has its own table. we have numerous members of the print media in attendance. sacripps is here. thank god, just in case and spelling breaks out. it reminds me of a riddle. what is black and white and read all over? nothing anymore. [laughter] really. the christie jokes are ok but no? where is the cnn table? are those real tables or virtual tables? there you are. every election cnn comes up with new and amazing technology. they had the magic wall and then they have a hologram years ago. they still have not figured out a way to make james carville look less like a hairless boiled cat. [laughter]

quite a few cable newsman wrote books this year. chris matthews wrote a biography of jfk. it is 400 pages long. poor rick santorum was throwing up all night. [laughter] bill o'reilly wrote a book about another great president, called killing lincoln. i think john wilkes booth was innocent. i do not even think it was an assassination. i believe abraham lincoln had a vision about what the republican party would become in 50 years -- 150 years, and he shot himself. [laughter] [applause] is the fox table laughing? or did rupert murdoch hack into all of my jokes already? some people think rupert murdoch was intentionally trying to appear to be confused when he testified in front of the british government. but i do not know. the man is 81-years old. i think you have to figure out how to use a cell phone before you can hack into one. he paid $500 million for -- $580

million for myspace. clearly he knows nothing about technology. fox news, they are the old grumpy man of cable. loud, stubborn, a little out of touch with reality,is the fox mole here by the way? just had a mole removed. of like to salute the fox small. -- the fox mole. were it not for his brave never known that the bathrooms at fox were overdue for renovation. leaking two videos and getting caught right away does not make you a mole. it makes you a freckle. as a result, msnbc has moved a bit to the left of hugo chavez lately. [laughter] msnbc has a big star in rachel maddow. she hosts her own show. she is a best-selling author, and yet, somehow she still finds time to cut her own hair. [laughter] the rachel was a different hairstyle when jennifer anniston had it. [laughter]

she also wrote a book and argues that unchecked expansion of executive powers has resulted in a country that is perpetually at war. which comes at disaster's cause, not just financially but for the very ideals on which country was founded. women-nag, nag, nag. you know? there are a lot of big celebrities here with us tonight. there is a dog here. he is the dog from the moviehe can roll over on command. he is a democrat. [laughter] you can ask him advice. if mitt romney ever invites you to go for a ride, call shotgun. [laughter] if the president tries to butter you, run. last week we learned his favorite two steaks are rib-eye and seeing eyes. you know you can leave some things out of a biography. right?

full of lobsters? the president was very candid a couple of weeks ago when he called kanye west a jack guess. -- jackass. alan. george clooney is here tonight. tomorrow he wants to appear before alan west. george is hosting a fund raiser for $3 you can enter a raffle dinner with the president at george clooney's house. i have always dreamed of eating a hot pocket with the president and batman and now i can do it a perfect body. sully sullenberger, where is he?

[laughter] goose. especially a grey goose. george stephanopoulos is here. the today show for the first time in 15 years. -- 16 years. pleased. 16 years ago there was no facebook or google. a tweet was something barbara walters gave her dog. [laughter] what a collection of people here. in one room we have members of the media, politicians, advertisers, lobbyists, and celebrities. everything wrong with america is[applause] unfortunately, the speaker of

the house john boehner is not. apparently yours are not the only invitations he declines. he's probably afraid someone will ask him to pass the salt and he won't have the votes. eric cantor cannot be here he is at the gym working out his gavel arm. this feud fascinates me. as most of you know,it started during the debt ceiling negotiations when they could not agree on the wording of the ransom note. it went down from there. interesting thing fact about speaker boehner, the reason he smokes so many cigarettes is his tears keep putting them out. [laughter] nancy pelosi is not here but her lipstick is. it is on my glass from last year. she believes in lipstick the same way as government. too much is never enough. jake tapper also wrote that one. i have to say i have been having a lot of fun and washington. it is a great city with history and monuments.

i was at the lincoln memorial last night. i was standing there saying, back in the 1960's on the spot, forest gump reunited with jenny. [laughter] the people are interesting, too. it is fun to have conversations with people so passionate about politics. i spoke with a guy who was a big supporter of obamacare and a guy who said it is a disaster. that it should be killed immediately. it was interesting because i had never met mitt romney before. [laughter] mitt romney is the inevitable republican candidate for president. they picked him out of a lands' end catalog. that is how he was discovered. some people say he will not be elected president because he is mormon. i thinkthat is ignorant. this country is more open-minded than that. we elected an african-americanwe would absolutely elect a mormon president, just not mitt president?

we heard the mitt romney campaign compared to an etch-a- sketch. speaking of we have elected anwe heard him compare thei think twister. when i think of mitt romney. 1 foot on red, 1 foot on blue, and both hands on green. he has trouble connecting with regular people. you cannot have a beer with them because he does not drink, you do not have coffee with them because he does i have caffeine, you do not play monopoly with them because he keeps trying to put the dog on the car. not much choice. rick santorum is out. it was just not his year. his year is 1954. it is one thing to oppose gayit is another thing altogether to do it in a sweater vest. not have won the nomination but he succeeded in getting his message out not to americans but sticking with it.

to me he looks like the guy that every scooby doo episode. [laughter] it is good to see newt gingrichi guess that means the check cleared. [laughter] newt, i have a question. how can you be against gay marriage would you have two gay parents? the michelin man and the state puft marshmallow man. [laughter] understand politicians who are against gay marriage. i do not understand anybody against gay marriage. are all marriages not gay? essentially what you are saying is i will never touch another woman as long as i live. eachet's put jewelry on other and dance. not that it's any of my business, but why are you waiting until tuesday to will drop out? just do it now.

it's time to mitt or get off the pot. the election process has changed a lot over the years. the president gave in and agreed to a super pac that initially vice president joe biden was excited about until he found out it is not one of the big boxes with all the different kinds of chips. [laughter] let's get rid of super committees. super committees are to committees what super cuts are to cuts. it's time for the fun part of the evening. i would like everyone to look under your seats. under each one you will have a copy of keith olbermann's resume. [laughter] is he here tonight? the thing about keith is, he is so likable. [laughter] al gore launched current tv in 2005 and it took off like a north korean rocket. [laughter] to be honest, i did not even know it was still on the air, but i do not get channel 1 million. [laughter]

he burns more bridges that the arsonist of madison county. he has more pink slips then marcus -- bachmann. too soon? if you are not familiar with him, he plays cameron on "modern family." stand up. where are you, marcus? there he is. [cheers and applause] i do have one question for you, mr. president. what is the marijuana crackdown? what is the concern? we will deeply the nation's funyun supply? you know, election. but they vote. let's take a quick poll. [laughter] your hand if you have never smoked pot. [laughter] look at britt hume. he is high right now. he is on his fourth almond

macaroon. i hope you do not think i am out of line but marijuana is about. the fact you believe speaker control of his own party leads me to believe you must bewoody harrelson just woke up. [laughter] as you know, last year president obama had his team on the way to kill osama bin laden. who will it be this year? [laughter] if you are looking for the biggest threat to america, she is right there. her name is kim kardashian. [laughter] she was captured by greta van susteren and brought right to your front door. you know, when you took office, the kardashians had one reality show. now, they get four. this is not a good trend. right now navy seal team 6 is outside of the compound of beverly hills disguised as the denver nuggets so they can sneak in undetected. [laughter]

[laughter] [applause] i have a question. who are these people who think it would be a good idea to attack iran? i hear people saying bomb them, knew them. -- nuke them. just do them now. they are a big bunch of yahoos. and netanyahus. there is only one way to have peace between the israelis and the arabs. they should focus on what they have in common. that is a mutual love of falafel and terrible dance music. [laughter] i do not understand the anger directed at the president. even if you disagree with his politics, he is funny, athletic, a beautiful singing voice, devoted to his family. even with all of his responsibilities, he still finds time to go to his kids soccer games and move the goalposts. [laughter] i think that is commendable. he wants everyone in america to [laughter] you are not from kenya. it is even worse. you are from canada. [laughter] this health care reform thing

has a lot of people angry. there seems to be anger in general. ladies and gentlemen, if i can get serious for a moment. i believe if we truly want to overcome the problems we face we have to do it together. we cannot forget this is a great country. thisis a land of liberty and justice for all. it does not matter if you are black like president obama or white like president obama or red like president obama's agenda, or orange light speaker boehner, america will always be a place where a man is judged not by the color of his skin but by the number of his twitter followers. [laughter] it has been an honor for me to be here before so many members of the washington and national media. you are here because as journalists you care about freedom, free speech, a free press, and most importantly free dinner. [laughter] some people say journalism is in decline. they sayyou have become too politicized, too focused on sensationalism. you no longer honor your duty

to inform america but actively try to divide us so your corporate overloads can profit off of us. i do not have a joke for this. i am letting you know what some people say. [laughter] [applause] in conclusion it has been an honor for me to be here tonight. i would like to think jay for -- jake not like. i would also like to thank my 10th grade history teacher who said i would never amount to anything he said if i kept screwing around in class. mr. millis, i am about to high five the president of the united states. [applause] [cheers and applause] thank you, everybody. national captioning institute] cable satellite corp. 2012] >> coming up on c-span, next, "q&a," and then