, and the rules apply to everybody but me? from a law-enforcement standpoint, it seems like unless the rules are straggly enforced from the top down, you get this attitude of impunity. notn do whatever i want and pay for it. how do deal with that? i will give the answer again. you stop talking about what i call these two things about leadership. you stop telling them they're going to be leaders, that you had made them leaders. is right up there. that i am for character. as soon as you start saying, here is your good housekeeping seal of approval you have good character, anything goes. we have to talk about what we actually want you to do. the job-specific things and what actions are pro. .

the answer to the question of, how do you get them to play by the same rules is, you talk in terms of rules, not the two concepts. >> how to the top brass respond to you? is a long tradition of them tried to slap me down. two years ago, they tried to take away -- give me an official reprimand and take away a paste step.pay i had to invoke the office of special counsel to come and investigate it. i am not allowed to say what the bottom line was, but i was willing to accept what they put in play said the offer, but

office was not allowed to attend a court. the answer is, they don't like it. they seem to have learned from that experience. now i have seen their official response to, what you think a prof. fleming, and they say -- what they say is my point. we're a long tradition of producing leaders for this country and i say, what you just said is the problem i'm trying to address. carolina line, republican. fleming, understand your position, sir, that he does continue to do a good job that you're doing. i know your opinion is very andted on a lot of things being a professor and where you are, but the pitching program and the compensation program needs to be revised veterans today simply cannot live off that kind of money monthly and support a family.

i would venture to say that is why we have some in the suicides at this present time. it is a shame. being a superpower as we are, in no, and we have an obligation, responsibility and duty to honor the position as best we can. we need a transition program for our veterans, returning veterans, from the war situation. there is no excuse for it. it would be nice to have a national lottery to be able to have americans helping americans to get the super power back on track again. host: let our guests respond. guest: we certainly have a responsibility. what is affordable, you indicate correctly, that is not my field. sometimes i am part of the bottom layer of that as well.

again, not winding, but i will be furloughed. i am a firm -- federal employee. those decisions are not decisions i made. equally the decisions of exactly what benefits. my father was retired from the army as a colonel and he has now passed away. i followed him through his it ventures with walter reed, with the system and so on. ed with thosekey things for years. he was not at all happy with what was done with the veterans. i'm sympathetic to the position, but have to say that is not what i'd do. host: what is the best way ahead as far as what the military does with future leaders, as far as changing the perspective as you see it? guest: i don't think any this service academies. i think they probably have a negative effect.

as i tell my students and they seem to agree, you have to be good despite those types of institutions rather than because of them. fifth we to keep them as institutions, they need to be much more open to the world. asif we keep them institutions, they need to be much more open to the world. they need to see what is on the other side. we need to bring that 20% much more in sync with the rest of the world. right now we just keep them off on their own little pen. the service academies are one tiny part. and all of the military institutions, we have to just lose -- you can say i am being high in the sky -- but we have voodoo education. we have to stop talking to them about being leaders and start talking about what is expected of them. at all levels, the service

academies, leavenworth, we have to produce people who are able to justify what it is they do. to a great degree, a lot of our colleagues have referenced that the perry, the less amenable easton to be at able to say what you're doing and why. fleming.ce thank you. coming up, we will take a look at what militaries face as veterans are deployed to places across the world. kathleen moakler will join us for that conversation next. from thearating military, he or she often it's a job. we will talk about employment options. at 11:00 today, a wreath laying ceremony at the tomb of the unknowns at arlington national cemetery live on c-span. we continue after this.

>> present arms. >> after president grover cleveland loses his bid for re- election 1888, his wife tells the staff -- >> i want you to take good care of the furniture and ornaments in the house, and let them not get lost or broken, for i want to find everything just as it is now when we come back for years from now. >> we continue our series on

first ladies tonight at 9:00 eastern on c-span, c-span3, c- span radio and c-span.org. >> i do not underestimate the difficulty of doing this option because it has ever been done before it is very complicated. there are a lot of moving parts. i know they're working diligently at the fcc to get it right. our job is to make sure they are adhering to the law, that we're in constant communication so our intent is clear. we want much of the spectrum to be available for sale and the auction as possible so we can bill that more wireless infrastructure. >> oregon congressman on the fcc spectrum auction and other communications issues in front of congress tonight on "the communicators" at 8:00 on c- span2. >> the tomb of the unknowns at

arlington national cemetery. we continue our conversation on veteran issues, looking at employment, especially how families are affected at times of diplomat. joining us is kathleen moakler of the national family association, serves as a government relations director. for those of you may not know your position, what is it? guest: the national military family association for over 40 years has served as an advocate for military families. we fight to afford the benefits and programs that strength and military families and make sure that they understand what these programs are by offering them different communications efforts. host: we're talking about how families are affected during times of deployment rid i want to talk about your time as a military mom. talk about your family situation. how are you as a family prepared for deployment? guest: my husband served in the

military and was never deployed, but it is very different when your children are deployed. by daughter, an army nurse, was deployed in 2003 and again i think in 2005. the last few years all run together. it was very different because i was a peripheral member of the support group, not right there at the installation, but trying to tie into what supports there were. it certainly has evolved in the past 11 years of war because people to stay more connected with the internet, with the online resources that were not necessarily a there at the beginning of the war. parents can get more connected, but it still can be difficult for them. the branch,ter what which is the military do to help folks, especially families, as deployment occurs? guest: there are programs for the families provided by the

unit that provide tools for the family to help them to deployment. they may address legal issues that need to be addressed before the service member deployed is, also financial issues and also self-help -- how to take care of yourself and provide the best care for your service member as their primary support when they are deployed. there are a lot of resources provided through the unit, military one source also is a great source, which is an employee advocacy program the military set up at the beginning of the war. there is it 800 number and a website. the website also makes it very easy for the parents to access that information. host: we will talk about how military families are affected with our guest, but if you want to ask questions or make comments, here's how you can do so --

if you're a member of a military family in their facing deployment or have faced deployment and want to share your perspective as well, you can do so at -- to get at the comprehensive nature of how these things work as far as pre diplomat, deployment and afterwards, what is happening with families and they're being prepared? guest: they will have unit of meetings. when you're looking at the national guard and reserve, the yellow ribbon program addresses all stages of deployment. they are offering resources for the families and giving them the tools to deal with that. called myve an app military life that is free

throughout itunes at google play that has a whole section on deployment. people can put in their profile and get information that is tailored to them on how to deal with deployment. there are other resources as well. host: are these meetings that let you know what your person is going to go through and what to expect what you're out there? those things other than technical issues like life insurance and things along that line? guest: yes, they do that as well. it is important to remember not everyone is in the same stage. you think, well, we have been going through some -- many diplomats everyone should be prepared. but we have new families every time and is the planet can be different. the first deployment may have just been the two of the. the next time, and a child and perhaps an elderly parent to care for. is a littleent different. you may need different resources

and need to be aware of them. >> as far as the pre diplomat preparation, is some assigned to a soldier to guide them through this kind of process, what forms need to be filled out, what needs to be taken care of before he or she leaves? guest: the unit will have a session for the service members to make sure all of their paperwork is up to date and to really fill them in on what is going on. families may or may not participate and that can be very difficult because the success of a deployment can depend on the amount of information you have armed yourself with. we encourage families to take advantage of the services offered through the unit, of yourself to services through the web and through the yellow wood and program for the guard and reserves so you know what to expect. host: doesn't matter if you live on or off base?

guest: it matters more what type of unit you have. cantary families assigned avail themselves easily. guard and reserve may have a harder time accessing these programs because they are so diverse. that is for the virtual port comes in. host: let's take some calls. pennsylvania, active duty. caller: good morning. host: are you there? caller: i am here, hello? host: go on. caller: i want to say thank you to mr. fleming for his comments. i want to say the military program, people are usually pretty passionate folks and some of their abilities are constrained by the military network itself, but there are great resources from the floor level, junior ranking and

spouses. military one source, it is not as great as described and it is because a lot of it is unfunded for the members and leads to a at reaches for help. there are programs out there. military one source really, really needs funding to make a better. host: so you have taken advantage of either one of those programs, collar? caller: i have used military one source in the past. as far as family advocacy, i certainly have worked with them but i don't have any dependents that utilize the services. i have been called to help it through my job. host: kathleen moakler, i know

you have mentioned it, but can you expand? guest: i want to distinguish between family advocacy and family support. a family support are the resources that are out there and each of these services has family service centers that provide different support to families, either army committed -- community service, family support, chairman and family support centers. family advocacy, and getting a little technical, are those services available to help families deal with crises as they may come up and to sort crises before they do. family advocacy really refers to those programs that are say new parent support or a victim advocates or communication programs that might help families -- couples communicate

better to kind of forestall any problems that may arise. family support i believe is what he is talking about. military one source has not had any reduction in funding and has many parts. the availability of the information on the website, a lot of information articles about different subjects. there is the 800 number which provides information but there's also a counseling part to that as well. family members and service members can have up to 12 , notons of counseling medical counseling either on the phone or in person, with counselors that are in their area. i have not heard of that funding going away. --t: we have of your ask the mostues are difficult to overcome? guest: i don't know the percentage, but communication

can be the toughest problem for families either encouraging the communication while the service member has been deployed or keeping that level of communication and try to surmount problems you may have had before the service member is deployed. host: how has text or skype change that? guest: that has been wonderful. it is wonderful in some aspects and hard and others. that line. you can see them face to face, especially wonderful if you have small children, but it can be tough because the service member now knows everything going on at home. sometimes that can prove to be a distraction. so it is finding that a fine line between keeping the service member involved without burdening them with too many of the aspects of what is going on. host: are other areas of deployment that don't apply to do either of those things?

guest: it depends on where you are. say in afghanistan if you are off base, your access may be less than if your station in kabul or somewhere that has greater access to the internet. --t: military families life for anked if officer's family is different as far as how they prepare for deployment or how they are prepared for deployment? guest: depending on your rank, i don't think the preparation for the planet is any difference. one of the things we have seen is the sharing of responsibilities through all ranks. always dependent on the commander's wife to the the

family readiness group leader. it has allowed for a lot more leadership opportunities for spouses of all ranks and everyone can get involved. host: north carolinajim has served in the navy, retired. good morning. caller: good morning. very greatme wish of memorial day to the families of to be remembered for those who have fallen in service. i did 26 years in the military. i retired in 1993. the technological improvements as far as communications to families were just coming on line about that time. the most important thing i was a to families who are faced with

eight, nine months or even longer deployment is the a is thel aspect -- emotional aspect, especially the young family members, it is important family members back with the children pay close attention to how they are reacting to this, especially for the first couple of months. the other very important thing is when the service member returns from deployment, he or she must realize the family over the course of your absence has learned to survive without him or her, believe it or not. that can cause problems and requires a slow integration back into the family for the head of the house. host: due to face that personally? caller: yes, i did. active was very, very

navy wife, officer's wife after i got my commission she was president of the wives club of some of the squadron's we were in. quicklyyes, i learned kidsthe dad and take the and swing and things like that. don't worry too much about picking up the other duties. she or he will let you know when it is time for that. host: thank you for your perspective. kathleen moakler? guest: i think things we have that were not available in 1993 are some wonderful outreach programs for our very small children. sesame workshop has done wonderful videos that really address the separation anxiety with our children. zero to three works with them.

there are programs available through military one source and information available on our website, militaryfamily.org. about prelked deployment, but the reinterpretation after the planet is so essential to lash reintegration after the deployment is so essential. we have our operation purple program that includes a camp program for kids but also another aspect of the program is our retreats for families where the families come back together in an outdoor environment and given the tools to communicate better. it allows them to get together in a different place without tv, without the distractions of video games, and learn to play together as a family. we use the resources of the military family life consultant or nonmedical counselors are

provided by the department of defense and also the folks from isc with the focus program, families overcoming stress that helps them develop communication skills and identify what their target funds might be when talking to each other. but for all members of the family. that really helps. we also have an aspect of our operation purple program for the wounded, healing and ranchers. we're having one of those this weekend that help when did families play together again with a wounded family member. >> one of those target buttons, is that the richer grisham progress -- process with a family learning to be together as a whole unit? guest: yes, it is very difficult. people -- children have taken on different responsibilities. the spouse may have really been or had a lot of stresses and

once the service member to have a different role when it comes back and kind of step in and partners a little bit more on the parenting or the household or whatever. it is a learning experience for everyone in the family. next call is spencer from west virginia on our independent line. i'm sorry, this is jeff. go ahead. are you there? we will try him one more time. caller: hello? is there a big correlation between active-duty and non-personnel military personnel, like the national guard units as far as being deployed in the affect on the family? it seems to me the guise of a

full-time military and the families have a lot more resources on base. they live on base, live military. the national guard families, these guys work it the hardware store, the bank, and all of a sudden they get called up to go to these places. is there a big difference between the two as far as what you have seen about the effects on the family? thank you. guest: there are a lot more challenges for our national guard and reserve families who are going through deployment. their lives are in upheaval. but early on in the war, this is being addressed. you have the resources that are available through the joint family assistance centers, to the national guard. those can be state-based. the resources are then pushed toward those units that are

deployed. but there is a baseline of resources that are available for the guard and reserve families. that is where the yellow ribbon program comes in said that that can provide the resources for the family so that the they are aware of them and they can use them when the challenge or crisis arises. or even just to check in and see how things are going. host: the lines on your screen -- if a family has someone deployed overseas, a situation occurs at home that requires immediate attention, does the military allow for a person to leave where he is or she is and come back and take care of that? guest: it depends on the crisis.

if there is a death in the family or a serious illness, they may come back but that is all made on an individual basis. host: we talked about pre enduring. a lot of we talk about when it comes to families is post deployment. you probably hear about ptsd and other things. can you give your perspective on how the military does in preparing a family for someone returning from the field and specifically what gets done? guest: with the units, there will be some attention paid to the reunion and resources are handed out or made available. many of the units will have military family life consultants come in and talk about communication or blending together, reintegration as a family for those families. the resources are available

online. families need to take advantage of that. they need to realize everything is not going to be a bed of roses after the honeymoon period. the family is going back to work together to realign roles and just to be aware that resources are out there, to reach out, put to military one source, go to our website and read and see what these resources are. take advantage. talk to a family life consultant if there is one available through your unit. sometimes there are counselors available to the family service center. host: we have someone on twitter -- host: we have a robust website, military family