>> stephanie: oh, hello current tv audience. jim ward has something to say to you, north carolina. >> what did i tell you about amendment one? >> stephanie: thank you, jim. that's all. >> that helps. >> stephanie: hey, look, comedian extraordinaire alan. thank you, jim. carlos comedian extraordinaire. >> me and a can of soda pop. delicious, hola. >> need to put it in a current cup for you.

>> stephanie: there you go. gling. we have democratic party to talk about the recall results for who's going up against scott wanker. >> walker. >> sure. >> stephanie: we'll talk to david bender i believe at some point about everything that happened yesterday. in the meantime, can you say now here's jacki schechner as the taco bell chihuahua. >> and now, here's jacki schechner. i shall pay ms. miller. >> love to make it as challenging for me as humanly possible. good morning, stephanie and everyone. only 27% of americans support the war in afghanistan. that according to a new poll out from "the associated press." the apgfk poll shows 66% of people are opposed to the war in afghanistan with 40% saying they're strongly opposed. president obama has said that he will keep combat forces in afghanistan through the end of 2014. no real surprises across the board when it comes to election

results from last night. mitt romney swept all three primary states, indiana, north carolina, west virginia, taking about 100 delegates. still leaving him about 210 short of the official nomination. in indiana state treasurer richard murdoch bit senator dick lugar 60-40. big win for conservatives and the tea party. murdoch will face democratic challenger representative joe donnelly in november. president obama released a statement praising the long-term republican senator dick lugar last night. praising him specifically for his tendency to reach across the aisle and work with colleagues on a bipartisan basis. for his part lugar himself endorsed the need for more bipartisan in a statement he released after his concession speech last evening. gay rights advocates are going to look up all possible legal and political options to overturn amendment one in north carolina. it did pass 61-39 yesterday. but a poll showed that 46% of voters didn't understand the extent of what they were voting

for. in wisconsin, tom barrett will face off against governor scott walker. that recall election is june 5th. we'll be right back.

>>(narrator) gavin newsom, lieutenant governor of california, and former mayor of san francisco is coming to current tv. >>every night on cable news networks everyone's focusing on what's wrong. i want this show to move past that. i love creative people, and with all the vexing problems we have we need creative thinking. >>(narrator) with interviews with notables from silicon valley, hollywood, and beyond. >>at the end of the day this

show's simple. it's about ideas. ideas are the best politics. ideas can bring us together. >>(narrator) the gavin newsom show. coming to current tv. >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good, hey, all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: mm-hmm. it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 6 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 toll free from anywhere. check it out. you can e-mail us, chris lavoie, jim ward or me stephanie miller. why looky, who is that shiny comedic toy? >> that's good coffee.

>> coffee from carlos aldroby. >> you never have a second cup of coffee. >> mountain grown coffee. >> i was going to make espresso. >> juan valdez. >> good to the last drop. >> mm-hmm. >> stephanie: good morning carlos. >> good morning, stephanie miller. this might be decaf coffee with carlos but i'm coming around. world's most interesting man look this morning. i don't always do talk radio. >> stephanie: do you remember what -- producer chris lavoie you were the original voice guy for "the stephanie miller show." he was your buddy you introduced us to. remember when we used to preproduce comedy bits back when we gave a flying [ bleep ] about the show. remember he used to be asleep in the production room. you would wake him up to go do comedy bits. what would you say? >> wakey wakey hands up,

nakey. >> it was comforting. when i didn't hear it anymore i miss the good ole days. >> wakey wakey. >> sleepy, sleepy, hands on pee pee. >> comedy with carlos on current. >> stephanie: all right, jim i think it bears repeating north carolina, people, people what did we say yesterday? for god's sakes, we had the professional voice guy and the blow horn. >> what did i say about amendment one? hey! hello? >> stephanie: never mind. >> anybody home? >> they're trying in an ironic sort of bit of information they're trying so hard to prevent gay marriage. they're acting like gay men. >> it was mainly the people in the rural area. the people in the cities where we broadcast --

>> stephanie: i was looking at polling yesterday, obviously rural voters but also suburban voters. they're saying this election, carlos will be so tight. you look at all of the gallup polls are neck and neck. when gay activists get upset with the president, you have to look at whether it is black voters or suburban voters, it will be so tight in some areas in some states he can't afford to lose. >> gay voters must understand the president is being expedient at this point in time. basically, if he gets elected we hope that he does. he's going to pull a genie as chris matthews says. i want the gays to get married. ha, ha ha. >> stephanie: i feel a wink. i feel a yeah. >> the president is -- >> stephanie: i might see him in person. there is a big gala here june 6th. with pink. i'm going to try to -- with my general subtlety mr. president. >> gotta make the sound effect. >> stephanie: second term. >> how do you feel about gay marriage mr. president?

>> gotta make the flintstone sound. >> stephanie: fabulous new tv show in north carolina. >> the handy bigot show starring handy bigot starring virginia fox. brought to you by general fools makers of lack of reason brand. >> andy? andy. i saw her. she was with another woman. aunt bea. come on. >> i saw her at home depot andy. >> aunt bea was a spinster. >> stephanie: she was a lonely old spinster like me. [bell ringing] >> stephanie: oh andy, oh, dear. >> andy was well-groomed. >> stephanie: who was in my pie, andy. >> surprise, surprise, surprise! >> stephanie: oh dear.

well, but you know this is what we knew the headlines would be this morning. north carolina votes to ban gay marriage, a warning for obama and democrats. >> danger, danger. >> that is better than the robot did in the series. >> you bumbling booby. >> stephanie: we get complacent here in l.a., you know in places where -- >> in cozy little l.a. >> of course everyone agrees with us. >> stephanie: oh, my god. >> good heavens. >> stephanie: i don't talk to anyone outside of hollywood really? >> boogida boogida boogida. >> your sexy liberal tour. audiences that are generally of the same accord. i on the other hand go to regular comedy clubs in rural parts of the country where everybody is not of the same accord. >> al's rocky. that's a muslim neighborhood. >> stephanie: the only heckle i get is we love you mama.

stop interrupting me with your adoration. i'm trying to do the show. [wind howling] [crickets chirping] >> barn door. >> you know that in the rural population of this country that they're fed fox news. that's basically what they're drawing their information on. people in the cities tend to be more higher-educated. >> stephanie: for us city slickers, that was a horrifying thing about the anti-gay preacher we were playing. it wasn't even what he was saying, the audience going amen. that's right. punch your kid in the face! yeah! >> punch the gay out of him. >> stephanie: yeah, the "national journal" story is the overwhelming vote is legal between a man and a woman is an unequivocal reminder that gay marriage remains unappealing in many parts of the country. obama is between supporters of

gay marriage and resistant voters to helped pass it. >> it was already illegal. >> stephanie: i know. s. >> i didn't even think about it. >> it is more less legal. this is what i remind people about when i travel to these parts of the country. >> stephanie: it is a lot hotter when it is more illegal. boom chicka boom, north carolina. [ applause ] >> i live in los angeles. during the four months that gay marriage was legal. there was no rain of frogs. there was no lava pouring down the streets. i think i said this before the show. i have no problem with people getting married who are gay or straight because i don't think about my neighbors having sex. in some weird, twisted marty mcfly doc brown thing about marty, i have a new machine. they can see in our neighbor's houses to see whether or not they're having gay sex. take it easy, doc brown. >> no, marty. this gay marriage, we'll go back in time to stop gay people from

ever being born. we'll go in front of abortion clinics and find out which babies will be gay! look, there's the miller family. they're about to have a daughter who will play softball and later on have her own radio show. we have to stop this birth marty. we gotta stop it. you see where i'm going with this? >> stephanie: this is not decaf coffee with carlos. >> people that are pro-life -- are you prostraight life or progay life. i haven't thought about that. they could be gay if you let them be born. i don't know. why are you confusing me? you're going into a planned parenthood. you want to be egged. if you're going into planned parenthood and you want to do whatever procedure, just go in with a flannel shirt with your wife and say we're going to have this baby. we're so excited. oh, my gosh. he's going to be -- he's going

to watch glee. and he's just going to watch smash. >> see how fast abortion becomes legal. >> stephanie: whoo! yeah! i don't know. we'll talk to david bender among others today but you know, richard lugar, of course, got tea bagged. i don't know what this means for 2012 but you go wow! orrin hatch has 99% conservative rates and he's getting tea bagged. he will probably get primaried out in utah. >> that murdoch guy is a little frightening. looks like herman munster. >> support for the tea party. >> herman. >> lily. >> stephanie: we'll talk about that. i was surprised -- chris, were you surprised by how much it won by, the north carolina -- i thought it would be closer. >> 61-39. >> stephanie: it is extralegal with another layer of legal. so everybody is safe in north carolina this morning. whoo!

from the gays. >> they stopped evolution for another year. >> we're going to stop evolution from happening. >> we can't let it happen. >> i'm not though. i'm going to the middle of the country. i'm going to minneapolis. >> right you are. >> stephanie: i'm going to minnesota. >> downtown at one of the theatres. >> stephanie: you know what? everybody likes to bring a dish to pass when we do sexy liberal in minneapolis. kate and rad made their own promo. let's see, my lovely talented girlfriend asked me to send you the attached promo. >> hello. high ya, sandy. oh, yeah, i'm ready for the sexy liberal show. i even shaved my legs this month. ya! because you know i got the v.i.p. meet and grope tickets. ya, you betcha i did! oh, did you hear that stephanie is single now? ya! ya! ya! i don't think she would be interested sandy. i hear she likes them real

young. like lindsay lohan young and pretty. okay then. i'll see you about noon on saturday. we gotta get that sexy on early. whoop whoop. stephanie miller sexy liberal at states theatre. let's party with john fuglesang and aisha tyler and stephanie miller. ♪ ♪ sexy liberal ♪ >> stephanie: look at that. there's a bunch of marge henderson type conversations. this saturday, ya, state theatre. >> kind of funny looking. >> is there a buffet in the area? is it reasonable? >> i betcha there are a lot of reasonable buffets. >> asian guy goes oh, gee stephanie, you're such a super lady. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: all right. 17 minutes after the hour. kids big commerce.com, do it

get it. if you're not selling whatever you sell online, you're missing out. someone sent me this baseball cap. they didn't tell plea who it is. >> what does it say? >> all of my children have paws which is true. [magical sound] >> stephanie: i don't know who sent it so i can't plug it. but here's what you do. you go to ecommerce. it sets you up and gets your business online successfully. it helps you build your business online and make it successful in driving sales for your company. you get everything you need. you get web design, they create payment options for customers. they guide your marketing efforts and theyage rise results and -- they analyze your results and more. >> it sounds like it couldn't be easier. >> stephanie: thank you, chris. then you don't have to do cheesy infomercials. >> no, you do not. >> comes right in conversation. >> stephanie: i highly recommend big commerce to anybody looking to generate or increase sales online. i have a great limited time offer. when you sign up for any paid plan, you get $500 worth of google advertising to drive traffic to your site for free.

an hour of consultation plus an exclusive sales performance guarantee. get started with big commerce today. get started at the site. type in my name, stephanie. big commerce.com and type in stephanie. also a rollicking start on coffee with carlos. on "the stephanie miller show." >> it is the happening spot. >> announcer: it is "the stephanie miller show."

we have a big, big hour and the iq will go way up. you are welcome current tv audience for the visual candy. thanks current fans. awesome! ♪

>> stephanie: it is the "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 23 minutes after the hour. that was almost like a vampire movie. don't look into the light! we have shades down for tv lighting. >> we have no marine layer this morning so it is very bright out there. >> no marine layer. >> let the right one in. they open the blinds. >> stephanie: it is already not over 40 lighting in here. >> ironically, it is coffee with carlos and there's no coffee. i had to go make some. >> i have my own coffee. >> stephanie: gee, shouldn't i be doing that? getting over there and making you some coffee myself? with the war on women? wisconsin with wisconsin -- wisconsin -- >> it won't happen again. i'll make sure there is coffee ready tomorrow. >> ever since that bitch had it coming act passed. don't make me sandwich your whore amendment.

>> stephanie: 1-800-steph-12. toll free from anywhere. dana in maryland on amendment one. hey, dana. >> caller: hey, stephanie, how are you? >> stephanie: good. >> caller: twice in one week. i'm so excited. i read your bit about don't blame all of north carolina. i have friends there and i agree. but i didn't know if you had seen about this pastor sean harris beat the gay out of your children. >> stephanie: the beat your gay out of your children. >> that's part of the problem. people like him have a full church and really just a sad day for us. >> amen! >> stephanie: dana that's what was horrifying to a lot of us. it wasn't just how he was saying, people were saying amen. that was blatant -- it was blatant promoting child abuse. >> caller: it is despicable. i feel like we've taken a giant leap toward ignorance. >> stephanie: yeah. >> caller: that's how i feel. i have one more thing. why don't you come to washington, d.c.? >> stephanie: we'll see if there are any sexy liberal elves

working on that. >> caller: i'm sorry to miss you. >> stephanie: move back. >> caller: come to the capital. >> stephanie: we're work on it. >> there was one gay member of the church. they were like beat him. slap him! scratch him. scratch his eyes out. >> scratch him! smack it out. >> that one happened to be in the choir. >> hit your pillow with a tennis racket. smother. >> why did you do this to me? >> hilarious. pastor gene, you beat your children? kill that boy? stop it. if he starts to reach for the barbie instead of the ken, kill him! >> stephanie: you hook up electrodes to the barbie. [ buzzer ]

>> his life. >> stephanie: john in arizona you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi john. >> caller: hi, stephanie. my son and i watch your show every morning. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i'm a gay buddhist teacher in arizona. romney reminds me of like one of those bosses that takes all of the -- all the credit for your good ideas. he disagrees with them until finally he goes to the board meeting and they say it was a good idea. oh, that was my idea. >> stephanie: yeah exactly. >> caller: say hi to my son jeshua. you need a baseball cap that says "forward." >> i'll have the president send us one. >> stephanie: article on mitt romney it is horrifying. i hope they spotlight what he did at bing capital because it was absolutely the opposite of creating jobs. they were saying every meeting before they went to take over a

company, it was about how many jobs they're going to cut. it is not about creating jobs. it was -- you read it and you go shouldn't this be illegal? sort of looting companies and taking money out and leaving them with debt? >> cutting and creating have some of the same letters in it. >> the exponential version of george clooney and "up in the air." i have come to give you some news. we're creating jobs but it is elsewhere. see ya later. >> stephanie: not yours. billy in texas. hi, billy in texas. you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> watch your language this time billy. >> caller: good morning, guys. >> stephanie: you shush, buckwheat. >> caller: say again? >> stephanie: go ahead. >> caller: i have been listening about this proposition i guess that was passed in north carolina with regards to the gay marriage thing. i've been kind of following the history of this a little bit trying to figure out just what the gays problems is --

>> stephanie: i want to give you a regular feature now. billy from texas knows what the gays problem is. >> caller: going back to the day when they were like stay out of our bedrooms then it got to the point where they were yelling out we're here, we're queer get used to it. now they want to get married. i've maintained all along that the gays, they just want to -- >> stephanie: they want to get married just like you can, isn't that something? >> that's horrifying. >> caller: that's not the point. >> stephanie: oh, it's not? >> that's the point. >> stephanie: that's the point. >> caller: but they're the same sex. >> stephanie: billy, we'll have to explore that after the break. that has not occurred to me. they're the same sex. >> i didn't know my neighbors that were gay were the same sex. tell me more billy. >> stephanie: we will, after the break. right back on "the stephanie miller show."

we're the idea nobody wants to hear. until the truth reveals itself. and there's only one place you'll find us. planned parenthood. anna talked to a conservative and it got a little contentious. drama, when we return.

vaccinations save lives. >>we are very committed to the safety of our products. >>but are mandatory shots doing more harm than good? >>i see children injured every day. >>the controversy has gone viral. >>how many are being sacrificed? >>see "the greater good" on current tv. >>and while you watch, join the live chat at current.com/greatergood.

>>our system is not working. >>there are always some risks. >>i don't think it's that back and white. the science is not there. >>only on current tv. >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> armed with nothing more than a great set of incisors, mother beaver her teeth never stop growing. if she didn't wear them down every day, they would soon outgrow her head. >> stephanie: what? okay. enough about life on the road. 34 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. witdz just come from -- from madison, wisconsin. gave money to the recall efforts against walker and let's see. >> boots are made for walker. >> stephanie: democratic mayor

barrett is set to face walker in next month's recall. graham zielinski joins us now. hey, graham. >> thank you for having me. >> stephanie: thanks for coming on. so first, what's your first take on this? was this the candidate you think is strongest that you were hoping for? tell us what's happening in wisconsin. >> we had four great candidates. kathleen faulk did so much to start the recall movement. mayor barrett is very strong. you'll see all four candidates that ran at a unity event. unlike the republican primary where they couldn't keep enough acid on each other our primary was very unified. everybody knows the stakes. everybody knows that to combat this mountain of corporate cash that is going to flood in here to buy our state again we're going to have to be unified. all of the candidates understand that all would have been great

nominees. we have a very great nominee in my mayor tom barrett who i'm proud to have him here as mayor in milwaukee and he's done a great job as mayor and will do a great job as governor. >> stephanie: gaaeme, you bring up the money there. i was reading a story. the group is stupid enough to say we're swift voting him. these are koch brothers. it is koch brothers money. the name of the ad. >> this coward, the coward who ran the swift vote ads is one of scott walker's main donors. he wrote a half million or million dollars in checks. so the same creepy-crawly swamp creatures from around the country who are giving money to the other groups are right here trying to put their fist up wisconsin again. >> stephanie: by the way interesting that scott walker has to go somewhere else to get money. it doesn't seem like the people in wisconsin are very supportive. >> he had a victory party last night. i was surprised he didn't do that in texas. it was really grateful to have

him in our state for a little bit. we get so little look at him nowadays. he's on this kind of fox news rock star tour. where he goes around, kind of sneering at folks in new york and texas and california. the amount of money -- wisconsin is a little itty-bitty state. you've been to our state. >> stephanie: yeah. >> this money is going to represent like three elections combined because we have $1 and they have $20. the media says it is even steven because labor unions that represent some thousands and thousands of members here coming in to try to help their members beat back this attack but we're not going to have anywhere near the amount of money. the good thing is at the end of the day, even though scott walker can't make it. we have an incredible ground game. >> stephanie: i've never felt such -- you know, energy and excitement as i did as the couple of times i've been in madison. it really is ground zero for the

99% movement. you have people like mitt romney when he says i saved the auto industry. you know, people aren't stupid. you had the head of the uaw yesterday going no you didn't! >> what's good for the goose -- i wanted to work that in there. in wisconsin, it is not just madison. that's one thing you have to remember. scott walker wants to make it all about the bongo -- god bless them. i went to school in madison. this is from all parts of the state. the protests, the action, the organization is in little places like spooner wisconsin superior, wisconsin. when this first started, the actual first reality was in a little town called horricon, it was working folks, it was tradesmen and women who came out on a cold sunday after the packers won the super bowl. so you gotta remember scott walker wants to limit it. he wants to make it about all of

the big labor unions and make it about madison. they're an important part of our coalition but this movement extends to every single corner of the state. you can drive the length of the state and you'll see little farmhouses with recall walker signs. you'll see places all over our state because he's just offended our values in a way that offends the good midwestern decency. >> stephanie: i hear you get free ice cream on recall day. free cheese. an appreciation day or something? >> we call it custard here. >> yeah. >> stephanie: i'm going to take your benefits and give you ice cream instead, how's that? >> right. >> they've given just the shaft to public employees here but what's coming next is right to work for less. you hear it -- scott walker himself introduced right to work for less legislation in '93. and the same kind of bs rhetoric where we're -- oh, we don't know if we're going to do this. where scott walker is not denying it. the private sector unions are

also under attack and you have to remember that in 2010, about 35% of private sector -- of all union households voted for scott walker. i don't think they'll be fooled again come june 5th. >> stephanie: as we've said over and over again i think most economists i've heard have said more like 7% if we didn't have these egregious cutbacks of public workers because obviously the private sector has been doing great. it is these republican governors like walker that are cutting all of the teachers and firefighters and policemen, correct? >> kind of -- wisconsin is the republican fantasy world of budget cuts, corporate tax cuts, of giveaways to special interests. they did everything that they wanted, that they want to do on a national scale with the romney ryan budget. wisconsin led the nation in job loss. we led the nation in job loss. we're near the top of the nation

in diminished property values. now we have a whooping cough outbreak that may be directly tied to public health, cutting public health here in wisconsin. so this kind of right wing fantasy world that they wanted, they did here in wisconsin. it just doesn't work. it doesn't work. >> stephanie: wow. there's a bumper sticker. thanks for the whooping cough governor walker. >> but yeah, wisconsin has never led the nation in job loss before. we've been pretty recession-proof, we've had a strong manufacturing sector. scott walker somehow manages to lose jobs. i would think that he would by accident, create a job one of these months. states like illinois and minnesota keep adding jobs and one thing he does, he does a lot of slogans and bumper stickers, he keeps badmouthing illinois even though illinois is adding jobs and even though his criminal defense lawyer is from chicago. that's one job he did create was for a criminal defense lawyer. >> stephanie: graeme, i know

you're focused on wisconsin. when you see people like richard lugar getting tea bagged, what do you think is going to happen in 2012 politically? you thought oh, that's what happened in 2010. certainly the republican party has gone farther and farther to the right. >> i think when people vote their economic interest and when the question comes down to the economic security of the middle class and whether they want to throw grandmas into the streets whether they think they're going to be protected in their own retirement or they think their healthcare costs will put them in the poorhouse, i think that conversation is happening here in wisconsin. you see people rejecting it. it is not going to be easy because we're going to be badly outspent. the amount of money -- you can't turn on the tv, you can't watch your cooking shows or your ball games without having to see scott walker on it. and that's going to be the model for the rest of the country. they're going to spend so much money to pervert the agenda and sell it to the american people. we'll see. we think we're writing the blueprint on how to fight back

the money. we'll be out 20-1. money doesn't vote. people vote at the end of the day. >> stephanie: to me, the more you see that doofy cross-eyed face of his, the better. >> you may see it in a police line-up. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: there he goes. graeme zielinski, thank you. >> thanks for having me. >> people vote. but other people count the votes. machines count the votes. >> machines. these machines are 100% accurate. why question the results. >> stephanie: you heard him. throwing grandmothers out of the street, carlos. grandmothers making their poodles dance for their food. >> i want to see the packer game. >> get outside grandma. >> oh, my spine! >> i hope barrett can get one of the guys like clay matthews and aaron rogers to endorse him. get some packers behind him. >> stephanie: get some of them socialist packers. >> things i don't get about

citizens united is we're going to spend billions on electing a candidate who will not take taxes on our billions of dollars. >> stephanie: yes. >> it makes sense. >> stephanie: it does make sense. >> why didn't you say you had billions of dollars. >> stephanie: mary in detroit. you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: hi, how are you? >> stephanie: good. >> caller: i'm really hoping that you don't yet have an official child age middle age loser raised by republicans straight girl of "the stephanie miller show" show. >> stephanie: you're in. >> caller: i need to be an official something. i've always wanted to be an official something. >> stephanie: there you go. >> caller: my husband is from minnesota. tomorrow we are leaving from detroit to drive to minneapolis to celebrate his birthday on sunday. and i convinced him to come with me to your show saturday night. >> stephanie: whoop, whoop whoop! >> caller: mostly by showing him that picture of aisha. >> stephanie: that works.

>> caller: that did it. i'm a little bit concerned. i'm huge fan of your show -- >> stephanie: i'm outraged of who keeps putting nearly naked pictures of aisha tyler that exploits her in this way that makes us sell out shows everywhere we go. >> caller: it is terrible. he looked at it and he said oh, my god, she's almost naked. >> stephanie: i have launched an internal investigation here at the "the stephanie miller show." i'm horrified by it. >> if you look closer at the internet, you could find pictures that are more than nearly naked. >> hello. >> caller: well, yeah but you know, he is my husband come on. anyway, i'm a huge fan. but he's not listened to your show even once. >> stephanie: oh dear. >> caller: he's a former republican. and he doesn't like frat jokes. this is like me buying a present that's really for me and saying it is for him. >> stephanie: it is like when guys buy you a negligee. you're like i live in

minneapolis in the winter. i don't want a negligee. >> caller: you're right. give me the flannels. >> stephanie: we've had lots of right wing spouses dragged along that have enjoyed the show immensely. you just tell him to grin and bear it. >> surprisingly, at sexy liberal, the fart jokes are kept to a minimum. >> you don't have to worry about him looking at aisha tyler. just worry when they look at house sparks. >> i didn't do the meet and grope. i made sure we're back so we're not going to take part in exchange of body fluids. we're in seats 13 and 14. >> stephanie: back with more coffee with carlos on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show" show. >> we don't stop until we get

answers that are truthful, serious, and not based on simplistic answers. >>we're here because we're independent. we will not settle for easy answers. (vo) the former governor of ny eliot spitzer, joins the new news network. >>every night we will drill down on the days top stories in search of facts that inform. >> we don't stop until we get answers that are truthful, serious, and not based on simplistic answers. >>we're here because we're independent.

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♪ hey, now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller -- ♪ you're a rock star, go on and get paid ♪ ♪ all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold ♪ of it it is "the stephanie miller show." what are you guys watching over there? >> hilarious information porn piece on the coal industry. wind power -- solar -- >> blow the planet out of its orbit. >> stephanie: what's your point? what's incorrect about that? >> it is dangerous. >> stephanie: are you going to blind us with science again,

jim? 51 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. carlos alazraqui in studio with us. comedian extraordinaire. let's go to vicky in north carolina. welcome. >> caller: hey, stephanie. as a resident of north carolina, i wish i could say good morning but i'm still sick to my stomach. so many of us worked so hard against this amendment. i'm just worried about what's next for us. going to have to start donning pink tattoos. >> stephanie: vicky, i have a question for you. where did this come from being that gay marriage is already illegal in north carolina. what was supposed to be the point of this? >> caller: your guess is as good as mine. it is just pure hatred. i have no other explanation. >> fear. >> it is the bible belt.

what can i say? >> stephanie: interesting. i was surprised about billy graham. were you? >> caller: i was. i think he's bordering a puppet at this point. >> franklin graham is pulling all of the strings. billy hasn't spoken for himself in a couple of years now. >> it is a ban on a ban. it is like killing an ant with an iron. it is dead dead! >> you're not dead enough. >> bury it, freeze it, chop it up. still not dead enough. >> kill it. >> stephanie: matthew in asheville, north carolina. hi matt. >> caller: hey mama. calling from the cesspool of sin. >> stephanie: doing the backstroke in that cesspool of sin in asheville north carolina. >> caller: i figured you needed to hear from some of us redneck hillbillies on this issue. it is ridiculous. i've told you i'm straight but i don't hate. that's the motto we should have adopted here. and the sad thing is that i'm

sure that a lot of democrats voted for the amendment as well which you know just purely out of ignorance. >> stephanie: matt, can you answer that question i just asked vicky. the proponents, what was the point of it? i don't understand. gay marriage is already illegal. this is now taking away protections from unmarried straight couples. it is taking away protection from victims of domestic violence. i'm not sure -- what were they saying you needed this for? >> caller: well, the main point is it was a republican primary year and they figured hey, well the republicans are the only ones who have a reason to come out. let's throw this on the ballot. by the time it came voting time, romney already had it locked up. but you know, that's the only thing -- >> stephanie: that's a pretty simple bill booyah -- no taxes for the rich then a little gratuitous gay bashing. that's the same play every time, right? >> caller: that's the way -- i am straight but i don't hate and

die understand why anyone else would. it is not affecting me. >> bad parenting. >> stephanie: you speak for all straight men that -- >> that ban. don't even think about parking here if you're gay. >> stephanie: exactly. >> keep it moving. >> you clearly don't hate enough. >> it is called charlotte north carolina not har let north carolina. >> stephanie: we've come a long way on gay rights and in the polling nationally since 2004. this is what they ran in 2004 against john kerry two grooms on a wedding cake. [whatever! >> i'm wondering if this is going to affect bank of america's decision to maintain its corporate headquarters in charlotte. >> hmm. >> stephanie: a democratic pollster says it is clearly giving the white house and those in the campaign pause. i don't think it is just north carolina causing them concern. every time this has come to a

vote with the exception of one case, it has not turned out well for the pro marriage equality side. the problems for obama "national journal" reporting man test across his entire elect oral map. human rights campaign did a round of states. he would be on the wrong side of majority in all of those states. he would create the perception he's trampling over residents to decide what's best for themselves. i'm surprised about it, carlos but i think it is a volatile issue. >> it is a nice wedge issue for an election year when the issues are supposed to be about jobs. it is a good political play. >> stephanie: in iowa, for instance, another swing state that obama's counting on, voters, as you know, ousted three justices who had ruled the gay marriage ban unconstitutional. interesting, they broke it down further beyond swing state sensitivities, he's negotiating cross currents with social liberals, young people to

support gay marriage. african-american voters are divided. we talked about the suburban vote, same thing. north carolina results underscore what democrats could pay for their success on the road toward gay marriage. we've made so much progress on gay rights. the biggest tragedy would be president mitt romney because then -- he literally has signed this -- what is it called, chris? nom? >> pledge to do a federal amendment to ban gay marriage. >> which is what the states really don't want. >> trampling on states' rights. >> you can trample on states' rights as long as they go our way. >> stephanie: there you go. >> jesus wants you to be who we want you to be. >> stephanie: lynn in north carolina, hi lynn. >> caller: hey, there. i was there voting yesterday and you know, i'm disappointed. what can i say. i'm not surprised but i'm disappointed. i've been here 11 years. i've lived in new york city.

i've lived in baltimore. i've lived in atlanta. this is my first experience moving out of a big city and i'm living here in hangin' dog in the smoky mountains of western north carolina. and it was a culture shock. it really was. but on the other hand in the 11 years i've been here, i've noticed there are more and more people that are moving here. things are getting better, for instance yesterday hey we also voted on whether we can have beer and wine outside the city of murphy. that's big for us. >> stephanie: wow. >> caller: ya know. >> stephanie: they're letting you have moonshine now? >> caller: we can have beer and wine outside the city limits if it passes. >> stephanie: well, ya know, progress. >> hey y'all, we can get the blood of christ outside the city now! woo, doggy. >> stephanie: back with more carlos alazraqui on "the stephanie miller show."

g ready for hour number three of the big "the stephanie miller show." carlos alazraqui comedian extraordinaire over there. the queen, we have some comments from the queen. she had comments about iran. i guess she is in charge of england. the queen up there. >> where is my crown? >> stephanie: we have right wing world and celebrity stack.

jacki schechner just moved here from florida. i think mayor todd from santa cruz should welcome her. >> hi, jacki. >> welcome. enjoy the sun. for everybody it is 4:20: >> thank you for that welcome. good morning everyone. neither side is wasting any time getting television ads up on the air in wisconsin. democrats just found out last night that their nominee to face off against governor scott walkner the recall election is going to be milwaukee mayor tom barrett. and the progressive change campaign committee is already up on the air with this spot. >> he doesn't care about wisconsin. >> i wish we could recall him right now. >> democrats only have 27 days now to rally around their candidate. they've gotta harness the power that brought out tens of thousands to protest at the skate capitol last year and to gather some 900,000 signatures that trigger the recall

election, that was twice as many as they actually needed. the republican governor's association is also on the air in wisconsin this morning in an ad attacking tom barrett on everything from taxes to spending to unemployment. we are still waiting to find out who's going to win dinner at george clooney's house at tomorrow night's fund-raiser. he is doing a fund-raiser for the obama campaign and each ticket is $40,000 but the campaign is using it as a small donor fund-raiser online. one person is going to win two seats at the head table. wolfgang puck is going to do the food. the neighbors in clooney's studio city area are bracing for gridlock. we thought we would know who won it by now but i guess who is going to turn down george clooney's house dinner anyway. michelle obama just became a citizen of switzerland. her husband is swiss. at least his parents are so that gives her the option of dual citizenship. she's had the option since 1978 but the two of them only applied for it last month.

this allows her to run for office in switzerland. i say we ship her over there and let her do it. we'll be right back after the break.

we will not settle for easy answers. (vo) the former governor of ny eliot spitzer, joins the new news network. >>every night we will drill down on the days top stories in search of facts that inform. >> we don't stop until we get answers that are truthful, serious, and not based on

simplistic answers. >>we're here because we're independent. >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. six minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. comedian extraordinaire carlos alazraqui live in studio. steph, we've been talking about

why amendment one in north carolina? steph, i think i know why they did it. yes, north carolina already has a law banning gay marriage but the g.o.p. knows a time is coming when g yarks marriage will be accepted. it create another hurdle down the road. now you have to amend the state constitution again. they're doing whatever they can to slow it down. they know their time is coming to an end so they're burning the oil fields like saddam hussein did at the end of the gulf war. make a huge mess. it will take years to clean up. thanks. [ applause ] thanks, north carolina! awesome! >> michele bachmann claims swiss citizenship. i'm guessing so marcus can borrow the swiss miss dress. all things considered, can you get a swiss miss dress in white? >> i don't think they have them in his size. ♪ everything is super when don't you think i look cute in this dress ♪ >> instant marshmallows.

>> go roger federer. >> stephanie: okay. talk about what happened in north carolina and dick lugar and everything politically in wisconsin. let's return, shall we. ♪ return to sender ♪ >> stephanie: david bender, everybody, our pal. ♪ return to sender ♪ >> this means a lot doesn't it? >> yeah, david bender. >> stephanie: hello, david bender. >> i'm changing planes because i have to rush off and trim hedges in north hollywood. i'm going to make this really brief. here's what happened yesterday. this is not your father's republican party. dick lugar, dick lugar who is a statesman, one of the few left in the republican party lost by 20 points. to a guy who would -- he lost three times running for congress. in indiana. and he won by 20 points because

this is all about the fact that -- let your mind wander back. do we have wander music that time travel music. [magical sounds] >> the way back machine. >> it was only three years ago that when barack obama was running for president he showed a photograph of him reaching across the aisle to work with dick lugar on nuclear weapons. >> stephanie: in case you hadn't noticed, that hand was black. [screaming] >> across the aisle. a black hand. and that is what the voters of indiana said. we can't have this! >> stephanie: maybe they use that like the old jesse helms ad. you needed that job and that black hand took it away from you. >> you do remember your father's republican party! the jesse helms and these folks these are the people now they are all that is left.

if bob bennett in utah andorran hatch by the way who still has a primary. orrin hatch has not survived. >> stephanie: no, he's not conservative enough. that's right, we said that orrin hatch is not conservative enough in 2012. >> if you can wrap your mind around that, then you understand how bad the situation is. >> stephanie: what does this portend for 2012 between now and what happened in north carolina. >> north carolina is an outlier. what was going on was the kind of demagoguing -- it is 33 out of 34 times when gay marriage has been defeated. didn't matter if bill clinton did robo calls and explained it had nothing to do -- how many times can you say something is illegal? it was already illegal. but that's never the point. this is about what karl rove said in 2004. you put these things on the ballot, they were on 12 ballots in 2004. that tipped the vote in ohio.

you had a caller a minute ago who points out the president may say that he's evolving on this and he's struggling with it. but count on the fact that if this does depress african-american turnout, even by a couple of points, if he were to come out before the election and do what joe biden did on sunday and say it doesn't matter to me, then that's a problem for a potential mitt romney presidency. that's what we're dealing with. >> stephanie: so david if you were advising the president as you have campaigned since rutherford b. hayes, what would you tell him on the issue of marriage equality? >> i told rutherford b. hayes to shave. he didn't listen to me. on the issue of marriage equality, i say to the president keep doing what you're doing talking about civil rights for all. realize that what happened in north carolina, it took away civil unions. it took away the recognition of some of the things that everybody now -- and we're seeing the numbers. 67% of democrats are in favor of gay marriage.

the future is with us. and the future is with progressive thinking people everywhere. that's a generational shift. the question is will it shift in time for november? and you know what we've seen is the motivation for these folks when they feel under attack, when they feel their principles of you know, god and family are under attack, they turn out. that's what happened in 2010. that's what the president's trying to avoid. he's trying to increase that and you've been talking about student loans. there is an issue that's going to get them riled up. >> stephanie: i love an rnc official said romney is still deciding on immigration. he hasn't quite figured out what his stance is yet. meanwhile, he's getting dropped among hispanics. honestly, do you worry about the polls being neck and neck. he's pathetic to me. he really is. >> here's the thing. it will come down to these seven, eight, nine states, one

of which is indiana. which the president won by half a point last time. so if we're looking at these numbers, north carolina was another one of those states. so is virginia. we're talking about an election that isn't happening in california and new york or illinois. it is happening in those eight or nine states. and they are very close. and they can tip on almost anything. so the single most important election, the bellwether, the thing that you and i have been talking about for months will happen in a month now. it will happen june 5th in wisconsin. >> stephanie: what is your take on that? on what's happening there? obviously democratic milwaukee mayor tom barrett won. yesterday, the democrat primary. >> he's got the rematch. i will tell you as i walk on to this plane and fly off into the flight -- or wait a minute, it is day. here's the thing. people beat money. it took a million signatures to

recall scott walker. a million people signed petitions. that was so many more than they needed to get. but there's probably $13 million of koch money. >> stephanie: 20 to 1 outspent. >> but you can't do it. we saw it with meg woodman in california. you can spend all of the money in the world but if the people aren't on your side and the people are not on scott walker's side. our friends listening in madison right now, do not be disheartened. this is the chance to send a message in. this vote is not just about wisconsin. it is about all of this. >> stephanie: it is my hope with mitt romney, the more we see of him the less we like him. air the scott walker ads every 20 seconds. >> please. more mitt. >> stephanie: david before you get on the plane, are you in fact a double agent wearing a gay underwear bomb by any chance?

>> it is entirely possible. the sparkly pants and they can't check them for religious purposes. love you guys. >> stephanie: love you too honey. [ applause ] >> how about that double agent? >> stephanie: that's pretty nifty, right? seems like a double win for president obama. that's all i'm saying. >> my name is bond. james sparkly underwear bond. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: representative adam schiff of california, our friend. >> without going into the specifics, we have to assume with what we have seen of al-qaeda in the past that they do train others to take up where they leave off because they have seen the succession of their top leadership attack successfully taken off the battlefield for good. >> stephanie: a double underwear agent. >> i thought we had an expert on underwear. my ass was once a guest there. >> stephanie: representative peter king of new york. >> since the killing of the

leader over the weekend, so this is more than just one person, one bomb. this is a larger scale operation. >> you can tell when they get the name wrong. what are you wearing? fruit of the loom. >> stephanie: fruit of the boom. that's not what i meant. i do not have a bomb. oh, god, these headlines. they will keep on coming. romney is still deciding on immigration. why? what do you guys think? >> building defense all the way. >> stephanie: oh flipper. flipper. ♪ they call him flipper ♪ >> that's enough of that. >> stephanie: okay. mitt romney -- ♪ we know flipper ♪ >> mitt romney found himself in a difficult position on the receiving end of an attack by president obama's attack. an official suggested he was still deciding his position on immigration. >> i haven't made up my mind.

yes, i have. no, i haven't. >> stephanie: the adviser later tweeted she had misspoken. yeah. romney has promised, as you know -- he was the farthest to the right on -- immigration issues in the primary. >> wasn't tom wilson one of his supporters? >> stephanie: chris was his advisor. they flip-flopped on that. he's an advisor. not an advisor just a guy a friend supporter advisor. >> just some dude. >> sometimes i etch and sometimes i sketch. >> he promentsed to veto the dream act. he famously said that people would self-deport. >> which is based on a joke. >> how does that work? >> stephanie: because he will make things so bad here. now he's become -- softening his position as he begins to -- ♪ they call him flipper ♪ >> shaking that etch-a-sketch. keep shaking that etch-a-sketch

boss. >> stephanie: he's looking at the republican version of the dream act which i think, jim you said is to make them into mulch. >> silent. >> stephanie: all right. 18 minutes after the hour. kids, i've talked to you about go to my pc. i couldn't live without it. could i, chris? we use it for an array of magical things here on "the stephanie miller show." [magical sound] >> stephanie: chris prints from ply computer at his house. >> i have it installed on my ipad so if i'm too lazy to get my ass up off the couch i can access my computer from my couch via the go to my pc app on my ipad. >> stephanie: if my dog is laying on me, i won't move. that's the only rule in my house. you cannot move the dog. if max or fred are comfortable. so now i have go to my pc on my ipad, on my iphone. on my laptop, on my desktop. it is magic. it is magic. go to my pc by citrix.

connects you directly to your mac or pc. from your ipad or iphone. you can access the computer from anywhere. your kid's soccer game, the airport. go to my pc. gives you mobility, simp licit and freedom. >> your eye fad? who among us has a kid in soccer? >> stephanie: hypothetically, people with lives. not bitter, childless losers like me. >> stephanie: kids pay attention. try my pc today. just for my listeners visit go to my pc.com. enter the promo code stephanie. pc.com. try it free. the promo code is stephanie. 19 minutes after the hour. back with more carlos alazraqui in "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: i got her number off the men's room stall. 1-800-steph-12.

[ dennis ] dollar for dollar, nobody protects you from mayhem like allstate.

what the current audience can expect from my show is the unexpected. >>stephanie miller challenges the system, now it's your turn. >>it's a little bit of magic. >>connect with "talking liberally with stephanie miller" at facebook.com/stephaniemillershow and on twitter at smshow.

>> stephanie: hash tag mitt's idea. for which he has or will be taking credit for bailing out g.m. to the invention of staplers to eisenhower's envision of europe to the hash tag, mitt's idea. perfect place to tweet. >> i was the one who introduced the two blank letters to scrabble. because then you can go anyway

you want. >> stephanie: kristin in madison, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi kristin. >> caller: hello steph. i've got two things. first of all, it is not unconstitutional to be gay in montana. i'm from montana. they have -- they were ruled unconstitutional in '97 so they're still on the books. >> by the actual big supreme court. wasn't it? >> no. by the state one. that one was in 2003. we were six years before. >> okay, good. >> caller: there are a few things which montana does correctly. one was that. second of all, since voters are screwed up in places, i think the thing to do which is what my fiancee and i are doing. we're only using gay friendly businesses, gay friendly businesses people should use only officials to do the wedding who would be willing to do a gay wedding or civil union and maybe even use the wedding planning services online or around that

specialize in gay marriages. >> stephanie: i think that's -- >> caller: it is 30 somethings like me getting married and we're the ones who have no problem with it. >> stephanie: i think that's why california went bankrupt is melissa etheridge refused to pay her taxes. if i don't have the same rights, i refuse to pay my scratch. >> you refuse to pay your taxes. >> stephanie: we need that to keep afloat. let's type into the right wing world. alex on the situation room. >> barack obama has done a lot to solve the immigration problem in this country. he's created the economy. now more people want to leave than want to come. that's the thing we need to do to get the country back on track again. >> stephanie: no need for mitt romney and his self-deportation programs. >> stephanie: steve ducey. >> it is almost like the right is rooting for the economy.

>> stephanie: they're so subtle. i hadn't figured that out. >> steve ducey fox and friends. >> if you've got america's top schools not teaching the federalist papers, kyle, that would explain why this administration didn't think that obama care was unconstitutional because they don't know so much about the constitution. >> stephanie: yeah. he's a constitutional law professor. he's not steve ducey or anything. >> see, there's these guys with wigs and they had -- >> obama got his start at the harvard law review. steve ducey got his start on water skiing squirrels on local television. >> stephanie: don't bring twiggy into this. >> you got your start. >> stephanie: don't bring the water skiing squirrel into this. some of us journalists, we started, you know -- all right. neil cavuto on fox news. >> they want to go in reverse. lower the retirement age. rescind a lot of the cuts. he wants to reverse all of that.

what if this is a worldwide push to tax rich folks. it will be high. >> stephanie: wow. that was an international conspiracy sausage. wowee. >> they try to make us poorer. how dare they. i claim this economy in the name of mars. >> neil cavuto sounds like a muppet. what's wrong with him? >> stephanie: rush limbaugh on the president. >> what are your thoughts on the fact that obama's social security number is from connecticut and he's never been there? want to see what the term papers actually were about. nor do they want us to see the grades. they don't want us to see the grades. >> yo, idiot before 1972, they didn't give out social security numbers based on state. they just gave them out. >> from the state of. >> stephanie: they give you that for nothing. grades, we don't need to see

that. >> cut through the crackerjack box. >> anyone can go to harvard. sure. okay. >> stephanie: we don't have time for this. we're going to have to wait for dana loesch. there is a tease. >> you're trying to get people stick around by teasing dana loesch? >> stephanie: because it is long which is nice when you hear her voice. it is soothing. >> stephanie: that and we still have celebrity stack. we have news from the queen for god's sakes. exactly. so much more to come. and comedian carlos alazraqui we're still in the midst of coffee with carlos. >> speaking of the throne -- >> stephanie: 29 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show."

vaccinations save lives. >>we are very committed to the safety of our products. >>but are mandatory shots doing more harm than good? >>i see children injured every day. >>the controversy has gone viral. >>how many are being sacrificed? >>see "the greater good" on current tv. >>and while you watch, join the live chat at current.com/greatergood. >>our system is not working. >>there are always some risks. >>i don't think it's that back and white. the science is not there. >>only on current tv.

it's go time. >>every weeknight cenk uygur calls out the mainstream media. >>the guys in the middle class the guys in the lower end got screwed again. >>i think you know which one we're talking about. the overwhelming majority of the country says"tax the rich, don't go to war."

>>just wanted to clarify that. >> this is a journey that many young beavers do not survive. [ laughter ] >> really? tragic. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 34 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 toll free from anywhere. we didn't finish right wing world. i'm sorry to do this to you carlos. dana loesch from the dana show. >> it may be somewhere along those lines medically speaking because apparently progressive women have an inability to get up on their two legs and walk with their two legs to the target or to the costco or to a

nonplanned parenthood clinic and buy for themselves birth control that is as cheap it can be as cheap as $9 a month. i don't understand why everyone's premiums have to be jacked up so we can pretend they're getting something for free. >> stephanie: i can just walk on my two slutty legs to target myself. >> here is your birth control, you whore. >> isn't that clever. >> no. >> i don't understand why we have to have poor people with unwanted pregnancies by helping them prevent unwanted pregnancies. i don't understand it. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: steve in chicago. >> why doesn't somebody do something about the problems. >> stephanie: steve from chicago on amendment one. >> caller: hi, there. i've got three stats for you real fast. the first one billy you're my -- i don't want him to freak out that -- the radio. apparently north carolina has a

higher divorce rate or higher than the national average. >> see what the gays are doing? >> i don't know if this will play into the election at all but utah has the highest subscription of pornography sites. and also the highest antidepressant usage. >> interesting. >> stephanie: oh dear. you would think the porn would be able to ameliorate that. they got a good tv show out of what happened yesterday in north carolina. >> the handy bigot show starring handy bigot and virginia fox brought to you by general fools makers of lack of reason brand. [ applause ] >> stephanie: mike is going to go move to vail now. it was not hard to quit north carolina after yesterday. mike in raleigh will be mike in vail. >> he got a new job in vail. ♪ i'm leaving the state of

carolina ♪ >> stephanie: shane got a job as a producer. >> yea! >> so he and danielle are moving up to d.c. to work with tom hartman. >> stephanie: mama's so proud. [magical sound] >> stephanie: see, now i'm going to have to use homemade promo because shane got a real job. kate and andra put together their own promo for the sexy liberal show on saturday. >> hi ya sandy. i'm ready for the sexy liberal show. i even shaved my legs this month. ya! because you know i got the v.i.p. meet and grope tickets. yeah, you betcha i did! oh! did you hear that stephanie is single now? ya! ya! ya! oh, i don't think she would be interested, sandy. i hear she likes them real young like lindsay lohan young and pretty. okay then, i'll meet you at the bar around noon on saturday.

we gotta get that sexy on early. whoop, whoop! the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour is this saturday may 12th at the state theatre in minneapolis. let's party with john fuglesang aisha tyler and stephanie miller. ♪ sexy liberal ♪ ♪ sexy liberal ♪ thank you, girls. >> greatest words in the english language. i'll meet you at the bar. >> stephanie: at noon. in time for the 8:00 show. >> watered down my drink with that gay drink. >> stephanie: we see carlos alazraqui. >> may 16th. may 18th, may 23rd doing the uncle joe show. carlos alazraqui.com or facebook or i may even tweet where i'm going to be. >> you haven't tweeted in a little while. >> i'm going to tweet.

>> i'll bet he's tweeted more than i've tweeted. >> stephanie: all right. queen elizabeth, ladies and gentlemen, she's always keen to make sure she can be seen in a crowd of people. asks those who design her clothes to keep that in mind. also a secret to why her hat has never blown off. >> get me cinna from hunger games. >> it has been noticed that our hats never blows off in a stiff breeze. which is basically when charles is talking. strategically placed hat pins. the same cannot be said for our knickers which have been known to fly off at the speed of light if the first shooter appears of which we mean anyone standing at attention at which case we of course are powerfully amused. >> stephanie: the queen remains a bit of a skank biscuit chris in st. louis you're on

"the stephanie miller show." welcome, chris. >> caller: steph, i'm wondering why in north carolina and some of the other states, they don't tax amendments to solve the real problems like the divorce rate seems like that's kind of hurting the institution of marriage in north carolina. >> stephanie: they need to get on that in north carolina. things like voter fraud that don't exist. they're all about passing those laws then they have the multiple divorces like rush limbaugh who are giving us advice on how to have a good marriage. seems like they have everything backwards. >> stephanie: billy says your marriage will be diluted if you let the gays in. >> caller: i guess billy knows what he's talking about. i'll be listening to him a lot more. >> stephanie: yes, of course. >> billy seems to care a little bit too much about what goes on with the gays. >> i'm going to investigate what's going on with them. >> stephanie: jamie in tennessee.

hi jamie. >> caller: hi, steph. thank you. first time i've watched your show. i was intrigued by your panel. >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: in 1979 through 1987 i was a white supremacist skinhead. i liked nobody. as my life changed, i became born-again christian. i live that life. got married young and now have four children from ages of 4 to 23. i'm hoping to attend seminary. and perhaps even lead a flock of my own at some point. gay marriage, look, god gave us a thing called free will. >> stephanie: uh-huh. >> caller: and also the gays that want to be married are also taxpayers. >> stephanie: that's right. >> caller: they live in america.

they pay taxes on everything that we pay taxes on. they get up, they go to work. >> stephanie: that's right. >> caller: they take care of their children. they should have the same rights. >> stephanie: wow, thank you jamie. ♪ let's hear it for the boy ♪ ♪ let's give the boy a hand ♪ >> stephanie: wow, we'll take it. okay. >> that's wonderful. that is a wonderful story. >> stephanie: those are evolving views there. evolved considerably. >> that took a little while for him to get there. sounds like a true christian. >> stephanie: clamps clear. >> larry merchant seemed fast if you guys know boxing. larry merchant reference. you'll get it. look it up. >> stephanie: speaking of taxes, will smith is happy to pay higher taxes. he's supporting president obama's call for higher taxes on the country's top earners. he said i'm supportive of that idea. america has been fantastic to me. i have no problem paying whatever i need to keep my country growing. there is a switch!

just sayin'. >> that's because he's black. black thing with the president. >> stephanie: let's go to -- let's see. norma in arizona. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hello, norma. >> caller: hi, stephanie, how you doing? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: well, i wanted to say as one of the few liberals in the state of arizona and i am in the exact geographic center which is terribly frightening it is very nice to hear that there are a couple -- >> stephanie: as jim always says, it is a dry hate though. >> caller: it is. also as a female who if i was ever to question, you're exactly the person i would go for but i'm a little older than you so don't worry about that. what i was going to say was that as a woman who's had a double mastectomy and a history ect riv rectomy, i'm pretty sure i couldn't male my male fiancee in

north carolina now. >> stephanie: exactly. all right. speaking of parts. a couple of masseurs. >> oh. >> i know where this is going. >> face-off. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: those are male masseuses. >> sweat hog. >> stephanie: they're suing john travolta for allegedly trying to have sex with them. tmz -- i don't know. >> this is what's being reported. >> stephanie: tmz posted documents from the suit. wanted to hear about travolta -- >> i want to test your personality. it is a personality tester. >> stephanie: travolta reportedly picking up a masseur in a car filled with condoms check. want to hear -- how he began attempting to touch their genitals. he apparently told the guy he

[ bleep ] him off in return. want to hear a detailed description of his pubic hair. that's where i'm out. >> a detailed description? >> just like gay kotter. >> welcome back. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: denied. he nighs all of this. -- he denies all of this. "the stephanie miller show" has no information requesting to touch anybody's rubber hose. >> we have no idea whether his pubes look like -- >> who knows. >> stephanie: or shaq. that's not enough grooming. mamie in wyoming real quick. hey, mamie. >> caller: good morning. i just want to let you know i'm a 78-year-old grandmother and i watch your show and it gets me vibed up for the day. >> stephanie: vibing out there in wyoming. thank you, mamie. >> caller: listen, romney, he's kind of like a big ole chill pickle every time you bite in him, you never know which way

he's going to squirt. [ laughter ] [circus music] >> every time you bite into him you don't know which end is going to squirt. >> stephanie: mamie is my favorite new character. >> i want mamie to call in every day! >> we want more mamie. >> stephanie: awesome. 45 minutes past the hour. back with the remaining moments of coffee with carlos. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show." valley, hollywood, and beyond. >>at the end of the day this show's simple. it's about ideas. ideas are the best politics. ideas can bring us together. >>(narrator) the gavin newsom show. coming to current tv. lieutenant governor of california, and former mayor of san francisco is coming to current tv. >>every night on cable news what's wrong. i want this show to move past that. i love creative people, and with all

the vexing problems we have we need creative thinking. >>(narrator) with interviews with notables from silicon valley, hollywood, and beyond. >>at the end of the day this show's simple. it's about ideas. ideas are the best politics. ideas can bring us together. >>(narrator) the gavin newsom show. coming to current tv.

we have a big, big hour and the iq will go way up. you are welcome current tv audience for the visual candy. thanks current fans. awesome! ♪ ♪ i'm gonna soak up the --

stephanie miller ♪ ♪ gonna tell everyone to lighten up ♪ >> stephanie: 50 minutes after the hour. poor sheryl crow forgot the lyrics on stage. i don't know what that's like. i never misspeak. ask a san diego jew. she said i'm 50. what can i say? my brain has gone to [ bleep ] girlfriend girlfriend. >> she was singing soak up the sun, too. ♪ i wanna ♪ >> la, la, la. >> used to date lance armstrong. >> stephanie: okay. all right. by the way this hour brought to you by go to my pc. it is what we use. we love it. try it. go to my pc free for 45 days for our exclusive offer go to my pc.com, enter the promo code stephanie. go to my pc.com. carlos alazraqui comedian

extraordinaire live! >> nothing to talk about. >> stephanie: oh, my god. was that carl from the sling blade? >> mechanic on john denver's airplane? >> all right, ready to go. put the propeller on there. >> stephanie: we have carlos comedy stuck in our head from 15 years ago. >> should be good to go. >> stephanie: that was highly inappropriate. we did carlos the mechanic. >> we were a nighttime show. edgy back then. >> stephanie: now we're completely appropriate. let's go to -- oh, boy rex in ohio. you're on "the stephanie miller show" with carlos. >> caller: hi, there. i'm the official ohio physician for "the stephanie miller show." >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: amendment one to go beyond the obvious bigotry it is a testimony to absolute ignorance of human biology. there is more to sexuality than a man and a woman and not just

in terms of -- >> stephanie: don't i know it. >> caller: what they're calling for is genetic testing. i started thinking this through. these guys don't believe in genetics of course. but if they start testing people, they will find people who have genetic disorders that are neither male nor female or both or who have developmental disorders and so on and so forth. so i think this begs for our court challenge but it is just a giant sign saying that these people don't have a clue about human biology. >> stephanie: i always say that. hem mow sexuality -- homosexuality exists in every. i don't think bulls say look at felipe. what a stem. let's gore him. i could be wrong. i've never been a farmer. jim, you know how the clear channel -- our san francisco station made a business decision to replace me with glenn beck

and move my show to nighttime. since february 1st the ratings have gone down 90%. [ applause ] detroit moved our show from 10:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. and apparently have received an avalanche of complaints about moving the show. if you would like to respectfully let them know how you feel about that in detroit it is 1310wdpw.com. >> i'm marcus bachmann. i will become a bull whisperer and turn the gay bulls back into straight bulls. >> watch out you cute little mexican. >> you look fabulous in red. >> i'm coming after you. >> stephanie: all right. wow. sylvester stallone is doing rambo five. no way! >> you took my walker! it was my walker! you took my walker. >> hello, this is ziggy. >> he hinted the fifth series will be set in mexico.

i'm dying to do more rambo. it will involve him going into mexico. i don't think rambo likes mexicans. >> get those drug cartel people. [wawa] >> you are still in l.a. >> governor crypt keeper will love that. [evil cackle] >> stephanie: charlie sheen threatens to sue a strip club for naming a room after him. his lawyer sent a cease and desist claiming the charlie sheen room could damage his reputation. >> it is called the -- you don't use that name anymore. >> stephanie: speaking of class. octomom has filed for bankruptcy. she's ready to do porn now. >> she already did the porn. >> stephanie: she had turned down the offer. now she's rethought it. >> stephanie: imagine what -- imagine what could fit up there. >> eight kids. >> too much attention to her nether regions.

>> stephanie: her r area. buddy in columbus, you're on "the stephanie miller show". >> caller: hey mama, jacki. >> stephanie: stop perving out over jacki schechner for god's sakes. >> caller: in the big picture, this thing in north carolina it is stupid, sad but it won't stop the change. as a straight man i know it is coming. it is not a question of if there will be gay marriage. it is when. the 14th amendment. it is there in a second. this action reminds me of in the '50s and '60s, all seven states when civil rights laws were coming, the confederate flag on the state flag. thinking that would stop civil rights laws from coming. this is not going to stop it or change it. >> stephanie: they're like the grinch. they're trying to stop gay christmas from coming. thank you, buddy.

let's go to -- >> the who beast. >> the grinch's pen grew three sizes that day. >> stephanie: andrei in fort worth. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi andre. >> caller: love your show. love your crew. i'm a straight guy down here. i support gay rights, gay marriage. people should do their own thing. people like us you know, we gotta deal with the billies every day down here. we got them every day. texas public schools. carlos, could i see your special t-shirt? >> stephanie: very nice. very nice. there you go. >> mini skank. >> stephanie: kathy in california. hey. >> caller: hey, girl. >> stephanie: hello. >> caller: what are we going to do about these village idiots in office in congress? and the republican party my god!

are they all on crack? this is stupid! i live in california, the central part. this is the most anal retentive i've ever seen. there are so many christian people here that don't get it. we gotta keep church and state separate. >> stephanie: open your stinker. [ applause ] what? >> exactly what john travolta said. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: now, we have to go because you said that. >> i'm being suppressive. >> stephanie: that's it for us. i would like to thank carlos alazraqui. carlos alazraqui.com for more information. >> we have a link to that at stephaniemiller.com if case you can't spell it out. >> stephanie: we'll see you tomorrow on "the stephanie miller show."