♪ [ theme music ] ♪ that music is a little loud this morning. >> yeah, turn it down over there jacki. >> our neighbors are so loud. we -- we're all recovering from my party. jacki can you hear us? >> i can hear you. >> thank god. >> lily tomlin marsha clark, and i walked into a bar at my house. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> and that did not end well. jim ward did an amazing thing on

harmonica. he doesn't have a harmonica so jacki schechner and i instead will reenact our dance to sexy lady. come on, jacki. >> you are not going to make me do this, are you? [ laughter ] >> come on. >> she is a serious news woman. >> not on sunday she wasn't. >> she's a party girl. >> jacki schechner recovering in the current news center. >> good morning, everyone. today mitt romney becomes the officially nominee, or likely will be. there's 152 delegates up for grabs, he needs just 58. the senate candidate in texas is one to watch as well. david dewhurst is the front runner at the moment. but he is not necessarily going

to win the nomination. if he doesn't he'll have a runoff on july 31st. cruz is a national conservative favorite. dewhurst gets the backing of governor rick perry and mike huckabee. whoever wins the nomination is expected to take kay bailey hutchison seat in november who is retiring. neither president obama nor mitt romney has served in the armed forces. romney got a draft deferment for being a mormon minister of religion, and the president turned 18 six years after the draft. the president and the first lady have spent a considerable effort making military families a

priority. we are back with more show after the break, join us online, current.com/stephaniemiller. we'll be right back. the system, now it's your turn. >>it's a little bit of magic. >>connect with "talking liberally with stephanie miller" at facebook.com/stephaniemillershow and on twitter at smshow. for the energy to keep you going. who wouldn't want to be a part of that? payday. the sweet taste of energy.

aft dorg.org. we will be right back.

♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ [ moaning ] >> are you okay? >> i'm fine everybody. it's 6 minutes after the hour. of course we'll all hungover from my memorial day party.

>> and that was on sunday. >> me lily tomlin and marsha clark walked into a bar in my house. [ somber music ] >> jim ward and rick overton. my favorite part was he and his lovely and talented mrs. ward. we did that part -- >> the bluegrass part. >> yeah. >> banjo. >> yeah, and then we ran out. we were the little dancing girls. [ applause ] >> all right. and i did dance with single ladies with jacki schechner, who remains a wild woman. we need bail money. it's the whole thing. >> shelby and i were sitting up on the hill watching all of you, and we were like that's not really dancing. that's jumping up and down.

>> current chicks i don't -- they can't dance. >> jacki can dance. >> yeah. >> she's -- >> okay. we're starting to perv out on jacki schechner this morning. [ laughter ] >> she can move it. [ laughter ] >> i'm sure she appreciates all of the help we're giving her journalistic integrity. you remember my friend famously was watching me dance and said what do you think she hears? it was a little aerobic. >> yeah, it was jumping. but it wasn't just you -- >> yeah, because i was leading the way. it's hard not to when you play "raise your glass." >> this is how we do it white people. [ laughter ] >> yeah, they were like what the

[ censor bleep ] is that? are they having seizures what is happening? i hope everybody had a good memorial day weekend. first of all you got your picture taken with lily tomlin? >> yes, i met her a few times because of this job. and she has always been a hero of mine. >> me too, and she and jane are so lovely, and it is always the biggest people in show business that email and say can we come last minute? >> and i'm like yes. >> and then they left a phone message, saying we're really embarrassed we stayed too cool. >> yeah, you can tell everybody was trying to be cool. >> and lilly hugged me. [ romantic music ] >> did you reach around? >> no, it would have been wasted effort. >> i'm sure she would have appreciated it.

jane wouldn't have -- >> there's that. >> marsha clark has a great new book out. it's based on some -- i don't know, l.a. prosecutor -- [ coo coo clock chimes ] >> and she looks great too. and i'm going to read her letter whether she wants me to or not. because we get free trial analysis. [ laughter ] >> a couple of people were so thrilled to meet her. and she goes all right. you want to talk about the trial. she writes i had a total blast, anyway we were talking about the edwards trial. i just have to ask have you been seriously following the edwards trial, the latest is one of the jurors has been flirting with him. and they wear up wearing the same color shirts. laughing harder now, so now you

know for sure gooky jurors are an inherent part of our justice system. they cannot be weeded out. their desire to review all of the exhibits, paper, which most jurors you don't want -- i just stole free trial analysis from marsha clark. [ applause ] >> i wrote her back and said my favorite was the o.j. juror that was interviewed afterwards that said i just didn't see think evidence. [ screaming ] >> what? >> you might have mentioned that you were legally blind! [ laughter ] >> all right. speaking of par-tays rowland the high-strung sexy liberal tour director a lot of people

with drive up to providence to see the three-way tae bagger presentation. >> after soldout performances in 2011, the emerald city is about to experience a any dose in 2012. the stephanie miller show returns to seattle. seattle welcomes the return of stephanie miller, john fugelsang and hal sparks. this time to the plush and historic paramount theater which has hosted live performances by the marks brothers. stephanie miller and her sexy brand of liberal comedy. ticket are available by calling

877-784-4849, saturday. this is the sexy liberal show at the historic paramount theater in seattle. >> good night seattle we love you! [ applause ] >> okay you can email us all at stephaniemiller.com. like this one my dog, mr. bee, and i watch your show every day. and he wants you to see his picture. [ applause ] >> look at how handsome he is. i'm so hung over i forgot to turn the tv on for max and fred. >> you picture them sitting in front of the tv all three hours don't you? >> is it me?

am i too self involved? and then i go home and say did you see what i said and then jim said -- >> at least you are not talking to the dead monkey. >> that's what i said to all of the guests. are you all here for the dead monkey funeral, come upstairs. had we been in japan, jim -- did you hear this story? >> no. >> you might want to cross your legs. >> oh, i saw this one. >> japanese future husband -- >> oh, no. >> this is just weird a self-described asexual cooked up and serve his genitalia to five diners. >> asexual now.

>> please retweet, he said i'm offering my gentles for a thousand yen. >> if it was one thing that -- >> announcer: stephanie miller -- . >> -- sure of, it was that her brand of tuna was bent. [ laughter ] >> i didn't want to blow my whole wad on that. >> oh! >> just fill in -- [ whacky comedy music ] >> will prepare and cook as the buyer requests. do you people that eat that are persnickety? know that's not the way i eat scrotum -- poached? who do you have to [ censor bleep ] to get -- okay.

never mind. just days after his 22nd birthday he underwent elective genital removal surgery. [ screaming ] >> does insurance cover that. >> i'm so which, could you say that one more time. >> this is a vas devrins between that and the other sauce. >> it was buttered with mushrooms and italian parsley. >> suddenly i'm a vegetarian. >> five of six diners sat down to the plate the sixth person was a no show. [ fun-facts music ] >> maybe i was drunk when i applied to that.

all right. >> did you see the other disturbing story over the weekend? police in florida shot and killed a naked man that was chewing the face off of another naked man on the freeway onramp. >> no! >> yes! >> it was in florida. >> okay. we taught the prance handcuffed naked to his steering wheel on the 405 was the weirdest story ever. we're out. we're out florida, you weirder. >> is that the zombie' apocalypse. [ mysterious music ] >> some mean just do not know how to kiss. too much teeth. [ laughter ] >> we should do this show drunk

more often. look at this unsolicited testimonial. greetings steph, shawn from seattle, been listening to your carbonite ads for a long time now, and i thought i should get that, but i would put it off and put it off. this testimonial does not end with a disaster. >> oh, good. >> after a year of putting it off, i finally say it is so much greater than anticipated to know i'm taken care of. love you love the product, love the show. [ applause ] >> yay! >> one of the great things in this -- >> this crazy world of ours. >> get carbonite do it now! plans start at $59 for the

entire year. >> yeah, what movie -- >> in this crazy world, yes! >> yes. >> carbonite is one of the few things that amounts to more than a hill of beans in this crazy world. [ coo coo clock chimes ] >> if you have letters of transit, you should make sure those are frozen in carbonite. go to carbonite.com right now, and use my promo code stephanie to try it free -- >> i was daily mixed form -- >> why don't we take a little break, let me sober up a little bit. >> yeah, good idea. >> we have a great show coming up, eric boehlert, and charlie pierce. >> yes. it's like monday and tuesday collided. >> all right. we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show."

>> it's really weird, but it's also the coolest thing i have heard in my whole life. >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪

>> we're not through just yet, mr. vice president. >> they're swimming against the tides.

♪ ♪ we got some places to be how about -- >> announcer: stephanie miller -- ♪ and me, jump in we're going riding on the freeway of love ♪ >> oh, dear god. 24 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. yeah, we cannot start with stories like that. now we're not going to get to anything serious because of the zombie face-eating guy. mike says -- >> naked face-eating guy

following an all-knew "young turks" tonight on current. [ whacky comedy music ] >> ah-ha. and there is an update -- >> yeah. >> wait, restart if you just tuned in. very weird story out of florida -- >> california has given up to florida now. >> police in florida shot and killed a naked man over the weekend, he was chewing the face off of another naked man on the off ramp in the miami area. the man who's face the guy was chewing is still alive and in extremely critical condition in the hospital. apparently not much of his face is there except for his goatee. >> hum. >> oh, my god! >> and the police say we are hoping that he pulls through for his well-being, but also so he can tell us what happened. >> i have to say -- that's

mostly -- i have got to hear this story. >> yeah. >> grandpa tell us again about the story about you ending up naked on the off ramp with your face being eaten by a guy -- >> will he get john travolta's face or nicolaus cage. >> those stories should be our kickers. because now how can you come back from that. naked face eating on freeway off-ramp, yes or no? well, you know, it was a holiday weekend. >> not much of a holiday for that guy. [ whacky comedy music ] >> all right.

wow wee. okay. >> why did i leave my face. >> keys wallet -- >> tickets money passport -- >> oh boy, what i was -- okay. [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> speaking of funny, jim, it's more mitt romney humor. [ affected laughter ] >> these are jokes. or are they pancakes? i don't know. i just know they are the right height. >> either way. have you ever noticed that everything mitt romney finds hilarious involves firing someone. [ whacky comedy music ] >> i remember the time i kicked a hobo in the head. [ affected laughter ] >> oh, my god. he loved -- remember he said he likes to be able to fire people, and he found the story about his father closing the factory and laying off workers in michigan. [ laughter ] [ affected laughter ] >> this leadings to the time i

kicked the homeless vagrant in the head. >> and then i foreclosed on his cardboard box. >> let's get on with moving this cardboard box. [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> his senior advisor -- >> etch-a-sketch guy. >> yeah, asked what the most fun moment he ever had with romney. >> oh, boy. >> he said i tell you, he is a closet prankster. i remember the trip he took has governor -- can i have some comedy music please? >> sure. [ whacky comedy music ] >> the governor sat down and composed a letter as if it had been written to the hospitalel, addressed it as though it was the governor, and informed them we had taken action to fire the

chamber maid. he was agas that something like that hand. the biggest misperception that he is stiff, he has a great sense of humor. >> yeah, if it involves firing somebody. >> oh, my god! [ applause ] >> that's another hilarious prank from mitt romney. >> hey, let's go skydiving. i packed our chute. there is monopoly money in there, instead of a parra chute. >> all right. real humor coming up next with the rude pundit on the "stephanie miller show." ♪

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♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller -- >> would, i would experiment with that girl. >> too small. >> that's me for two weeks in college. [ laughter ] >> it is the "stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 34 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. it is tuesday, but we missed yesterday because of memorial day, so let's just get it to. ♪ >> good morning, papa. >> good morning. 75 to 80% of the guy's face is gone. >> oh. >> wow.

>> yikes. >> it's hard to get off of that story on to anything else. >> sure. sure. i would be making romney's vice presidential candidates fight for the honor. [ applause ] >> see what you did there. i didn't even hear the sippy cupp story. s.e. cupp. i guess people are shocked to found there was vulgarity of hustler. >> stephanie was in hustler. >> fully clothed. >> it was one of their articles. >> yeah, i don't remember those. [ laughter ] >> they actually have a few good writers. >> they do. >> yes. particularly the one that wrote the story about

>> announcer: stephanie miller -- >> no, they had journalism in this story too. >> yeah. you said there is mutual outrage over hustler magazine depicting s.e. cupp with a [ censor bleep ] in her mouth. >> yeah. >> they ranked up the outrage machine to 11 again. >> right. because it gives them another chance to trot out all of the liberals -- >> yeah, bill maher said fill in blank one time about -- yes. >> he used the p word once and the c word once. >> yeah. and a comedian said a naughty word at a comedy show. >> i know a comedian said something really, really degrading. [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> oh, know. you go on to talk about a couple

of her choice writings. he said there are loads of reasons to condemn her that have nothing to do with her sex. to women and [ indiscernible ] in general [ censor bleep ]. >> the picture itself is -- i -- you know she -- i -- i guess -- they could have made her look a little more skilled. [ buzzer sounds ] >> oh, rudely pundit. but right on queue, of course breitbart.com blogger. did you see this. he was a romney campaign invitee, he hells joan walsh to suck it. so on if -- >> oh, yeah. yeah. >> dan reel. >> yeah, he went totally off on

joan walsh and made a couple of references to her doing something orally. >> if she was going to open her mouth, i would she might do something i might enjoy once. please no indignant attacks. >> yeah meanwhile women are completely silent about that. [ crickets chirping ] >> yeah nobody is condemning him remember when the john edwards bloggers, somebody dug up that at one point these two bloggers had said some mean things about catholics and warren donohue on got air and started yelling and screaming. we're not going to hear any of that on this guy. >> as usual on queue.

>> right. right. >> so rude one another radical proposition, let's take the word conservatism away from them. >> yeah. >> you were asked by a friend explain what happened to the south? please explain. >> what i said was -- reagan invited evangelicals to the white house and gave them power essentially and told them he would start listening to their agenda, and that built the power of the religious wright and because of reagan a lot of the conservative democrats switched parties, and took their voters with them. so -- although my friend this weekend called me and said you know what, i think i figured it out. it actually goes back to the civil war, and they want to be a separate nation again, but they

don't want to start a war to do it, they just want to keep doing stuff until we kick them out. >> yeah, you make an interesting point that we on the left have become the conservatives. this is part of what our whole thing is about the sexy liberal tour let's take that word back. let's not let them make that a dirty word anymore. >> right. deny them the word conservative. say no you are doing a radical transformation of long-term policies in this country. how does that make you conservative? >> yeah, the rumblings about health care. first of all this was bob dole's health care plan secondly, now it looks like conservatives are starting to realize, oh, i think

we're going to keep some parts of this. they were against it because obama was for it and oh, preexisting conditions and on your parents insurance too -- they are going to keep most of obamacare and then say it was their idea. >> they will keep everything that costs money and not have anything in there that pays for it. >> right. the insurance companies are like, great -- excuse me, they are going to go oh, no mandates, and we're going to start discriminating against, again. >> sorry, kids that just graduated from college and can't find jobs because of a crappy republicans won't support any job plans, but you don't have health insurance now either. america says screw you. >> yeah. the one guy that will be okay is tag romney. tell us this one.

>> tag, who's full name is tagert? >> really? >> yeah. >> that's a total douche bag name. >> yeah, you totally want to pants him and give him swirlies in the men's room at some prep school. actually hid dad would have given him swirlies -- >> you say, you say he goes by tag, because otherwise people would realize his parents were too stupid not to give him a name that rhymes with fart. >> he is one of the founding directors of a private equity venture club which was started

with seed money from mitt romney and ann romney. and policies like dodd-frank, and the voelker rule and other things could affect the bottom line of tag romney's business, so if his father becomes president, he wants to take back dodd-frank, and he will prevent anymore rules governing private equity firms to be put in place thus enriching tagg romney. >> yeah. beautiful. beautiful. >> and it's like nobody seems to care. oh, well, who -- you know we're used to this now. remember cheney and the oil companies. really does it matter anymore? >> yeah. >> it's line everybody is sitting there going i hope we don't get hurt too badly. >> it is also patriotic. because mitt romney said none of his sons are serving in the military because they are serving a higher purpose getting

him elected. and he is helping them get richer. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> it is touching. >> i don't know if i can say that on the radio -- >> if you are thinking it probably not. >> it is like this circle fond elling. >> yeah. >> of rich people it's like using the money to wipe themselves after. >> by the way you also cannot say cluster [ censor bleep ]. >> for once i'm going to give you your next column. i don't know if you know that the 1 million moms are busy again. denounce gay superheroes. >> after some x-man. >> dc comic said a character would return and come out as gay. and then there's the mutant hero north star. >> yeah. >> do you would think they would

be happy with that. the homo gays are mutants. >> yeah. he is getting married, right? >> yeah, he finally proposes to his girlfriend. and the wedding be taking place in an issue next month. >> the entire x-men universe is about discrimination about these mutants. >> yeah. one million moms an organization in need of a desperate headcount. [ laughter ] >> let's see blah blah, blah. can you imagine little boys saying i want a boyfriend like x-man. [ screaming ] [ eerie music ] >> oh, my god, and they wear tights.

huh? just saying. >> that's great, they will get a wolverine stiffing. [ buzzer sounds ] >> oh you are a scamp. you will remain in the penalty box until next week when we talk to you. [ applause ] >> all right. they do not like sweaty balls ice cream, ellen degeneres, or gay superheroes. [ applause ] >> what do you like? >> i still maintain one million moms is just one mom in her basement. >> i think so. >> all right. 46 minutes after the hour. we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: it's like a mensa meeting with fart jokes. it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪

unwrap your paradise. soft, sweet coconut covered in rich, creamy chocolate. almond joy and mounds. unwrap paradise.

pweingarten, aft dorg.org. we will be right back. ♪

♪ those hollywood nights, and those hollywood hills -- >> announcer: stephanie miller -- ♪ was looking so right, in her diamonds and frills ♪ >> uh-huh. it is the "stephanie miller show." nothing but left-over party food very sad. >> could you keep a close pin on the top of that so it stays relatively fresh, or it is like -- chewy. >> chewy [ somber music ] >> joel stein in hour about three. >> love him. >> one of my favorite

columnists. >> column um um um um um >> i know. >> he has a new book out called "how to be a man." >> yeah because he had a knew baby boy. so 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. hello, are these things working today? what is going on. [ applause ] >> help momma out here. >> face eating pro or con? 1-800-steph-1-2? >> we're getting the rust off after vacation. >> what goes with face. >> ciante apparently. yes. >> are republicans bending on obamacare? oh, really. >> now a warning? >> this is what we have been screaming about the whole debate. what are you going to replace it

with. >> and that are like uuuuummmmm. now what? first of all this is mitt romney's plan. it is bob dole's plan. and now you are like -- oh, there is actually a lot of good stuff in there, but just couldn't say so. >> the far right heritage foundation helped write that thing. [ dramatic music ] >> well, you know what socialists they are. >> yeah this is not just a campaign talking point. it is, aboutly the same as romney care. >> that's right. >> this is the story in the -- [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> -- it is in a couple of places. i am hearing rumblings on this. as the decision looms next

month, republicans have been planning to reinstate some popular provisions of obamacare if it is struck down. >> see what we did. [ mysterious music ] >> see the auto rescue was my idea, and so was this. what? >> the report sent conservative advocates who demand nothing but total repeal into a tizzy. there has been tizziness in right-wing world. >> yes. it forced boner to recommit to repealing obamacare in its entirety. i'll be in the tavern -- >> does obamacare cover liver transplants, because i may need one. >> representative allen west tea party darling -- this is the second thing in a row that he said that doesn't make sense.

>> yeah. >> he supports preserves three provisions of the health care act. you have to replace it with something, west said. we have to make sure no american gets turned down for preexisting conditions. >> that's the basis of obama's plan. >> wait, what about survival of the fittest and only if you can afford it, should you purchase it? >> what happened to communism, except these parts? >> why couldn't you just come to the table in the first place? >> yeah. >> the reason why it doesn't poll well is because they have dem my godded it non-stop. >> yeah. if they successful stop

obamacare -- i do think some republicans are finally starting to realize they could be the dog that caught the car -- >> i finally got the car. ow! >> ow! [ laughter ] >> deeper problem with the gops -- >> where did he go? >> which way did it go? which way did it go? >> the deeper problem is that guaranteeing coverage regardless of preexisting conditions is uneconomically feasible without the mandate. [ screaming ] >> to bring young and healthy people into the system -- >> communism! socialism! worst thing ever -- >> except for that -- >> no [ mumbling ] >> garg! >> as they said when they were trying to get this passed.

and other things that didn't make sense at all. and now they are realizing. [ romantic music ] >> there are pretty shiny things in here -- >> turns out they are popular. >> hum. ha. >> hum. >> awesome. mary in madison you are on the "stephanie miller show." hi, mar. >> hey stephanie i'm calling up with dates on ticket bits about the scott walker campaign and recall. >> next tuesday right? [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> next tuesday, and people can vote early right now. my husband and i voted and got that done so i would be free -- i'm going to be a poll worker because they needed help at the polls, so i decided to vote early and that was one way that was going to help. another way -- i don't know if anybody saw the debate between walker and barrett, but walker actually brought up during the debate that he was an eagle scout, which -- i don't know it

just floored me like that was really going to sway anybody in to thinking that he was very trustworthy -- >> i think he meant the hitler youth. >> oh, jim louise -- i'm still voting for you. that's why they are pouring so much money into this. and i know the polling has gotten very close, hasn't it? >> it is very close. and what could make or break it is if we get a big turn out in madison and milwaukee. and we have got to get people who really want this scott walker out. they actually have to get out and vote. >> yeah, it is ground zero it really is. you have got to get out in wisconsin a week from today. >> and what we found out too -- one of my people that is helping -- we truly are a grassroots effort. >> absolutely.

please support them in wisconsin. right back on the "stephanie miller show." ♪ ♪ [ theme music ] ♪ oh hello current tv fans. here we are getting ready for hour number 2, which jim totally spaced on. we made him leave, jacki so he doesn't say something pervy before your newscast. >> i met jim's wife at your party. and she is fabulous. jennifer is lovely. [ laughter ] >> absolutely. it must be hard for you to

continue with what with our story about naked guys eating each other's face off. >> that was my hometown pride. that's what we do. that's what we breed down in miami. [ laughter ] >> all right. i guess the minute you left, you are not there to supervise -- >> all hell breaks lose, yeah. i take off and it just goes away. >> eric boehlert coming up next, and now here is jacki with a full face. [ laughter ] >> good morning, everyone. we'll switch gears, talk about politics. donors on wall street are ditching the president and flocking to mitt romney. workers in the securities and investigate industries have given the romney campaign $8.5 million, and only given the president $3 million through the end of april. wall street has given more money romney's campaign than any other

candidates. for president obama's part financial firms don't even make up the top 20 and this is a big shift from 2008, when he raised almost $16 million from wall street. it's also a pretty good sign that wall street is not happy but new overnight and regulations. a spokesman told abc news that he is going to visit guantanamo bay to better understand the military operations. he is a member of the intelligence community and often considered a strong contender to be mitt romney's running mate running mate.

we're online, join us, current.com/stephaniemiller. we'll be right back. ♪ only online forum with a direct line to stephanie miller. >>the only thing that can save america now: current television. >>join the debate now. look, i don't play 'bout my facial hair. but if i grow this out a little bit i look too much like an english country gent... naaah. a little this way and i feel like i'm from outer space. this and i feel like a viking... [ roars ] not my style, man. [ male announcer ] master your style... even trimming, a close shave and accurate edging... with the new gillette fusion proglide styler. every inch of hair needs to be on point. ♪ ♪

vanguard: the documentary series that redefined tv journalism. >>we're going to places where few others are going. >>it doesn't get anymore real than this. >>occupy!

"vanguard" new episodes coming soon. only on current tv. ♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine, woe ho, i'm walking on sunshine, woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good hey, all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> it is the "stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 6 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. all right. you should not come in here and hand me more updates on the zombie face-eating guy in miami because one you get sucked into

this vortex there is no coming out. >> he is going with the travolta face. >> witness said the guy just kept eating the other guy away. in case you just tuned in there was a naked guy eating another naked guy's face off. >> all that is really left is the guy's goatee. >> and he is still alive, the guy who's face was being eaten. they shot the other guy dead. >> the naked man growled a police officer who told him to get off. oh, that will stop a zombie face either. >> everybody knows you hit a zombie with a rolled up newspaper on the nose. >> bad zombie! >> you are not going to survive a zombie apocalypse with that

kind of defense. the officer ordered the man to back away, but when the man continued the officer shot him. witnesses said he continued to eat his victim. oh, he is a zombie, i'm telling you. so the officer continued firing. one bullet that's a werewolf. that's a silver bullet. that's not going to stop a zombie. >> you have got to hit the someby in the head. >> right. the police officer told him several times to get off. the police officer climbed over the divider and said get off, and the guy just stood there with a piece of flesh in his mouth and growled. >> that's what zombies do. >> people have got to stop watching those vampire shows. >> like you have ever said no or stop to your dog. >> oh, they are so cute they

have a face in their mouth. >> your dogs are so well behaved. >> any dog puff she was running toward us, and it's like oh look it is a stick, and it was like a bloody deer leg. [ screaming ] >> you cannot get dogs to drop something they do not want to drop. >> they don't drop flesh readily. >> yeah. and then you have to do the jaws life pry. >> oh. >> okay. all right. well i don't know if he wants to follow that, but, you know eric boehlert from media matters for america doing the lord's work as usual. >> announcer: eric boehlert -- ♪ make it hurt so good ♪ >> i don't know what that means. >> eric boehlert from meadia matters. eric right-wing world is equally

gruesome in some ways, wouldn't you say? [ indiscernible ] >> there you go. [ indiscernible ] >> there you go. eric bringing it back around. >> there you go nicely done, sir, nicely done. [ applause ] >> i love your tweets paging dana lohse, will the right denounce this massageny. very quiet over there on this particular attack, right? >> yeah i mean a couple of the breitbart editors tweeted what a jerk this guy was being. but he also writed constantly at the breitbart site, and he tweeted some outrageous comments, and these are the same people that defended rush limbaugh, and thought there was nothing wrong with his creepy attack on sandra fluke. so of course they are going to

unroll this stuff on their own, and not think anything of it. there is this hatred of women that runs through these right-wing middle-aged bloggers. >> bill maher said he is not a surrogate for anybody. >> right. these are his editors his bosses. why is he still allowed to write at that site if he is going to be tweeting this insanely disgusting stuff on the weekend. >> yeah. >> just total silence because there is no standard over at those breitbart sites as far as i can tell. >> i love your tweet. romney at 39% versus obama to pundits rush to write obama is the one that is in trouble. >> we're obviously entering the

summer season, it is going to be painful to try to drum up news every day between now and september. >> yeah, how many more zombie face-eating incidents can we have. >> absolutely. the press is absolutely desperate to pitch this as a very close competitive race, and oh, my gosh obama is done. >> sure. >> buzzfeed did -- "politico" big story last week, was romney might win, followed by two days later, obama might lose. >> wow. >> those were the incites, and i point out on the most recent fox news poll had romney polling nationally at 39%, and the last couple of days it's romney embracing this trump birtherism but it's obama that is in trouble. could you imagine if he was at

39% and was embracing, you know, 9/11, you know conspiracies? >> yep. >> the press has their thumb on the scale. they want to keep this close. i understand where the republicans are doing it but the main stream press is absolutely committed to this it's a horse race, he might lose. >> yep. and i love when you quote fox news personalities directly which refuted roger ail's contention that they are really a news group. brighton killimmediate asked where obama is so determined to bring us down. >> right. and this came because roger ailes was out on the campus lecture tour. for some reason universities bring him in as a leading figure

in american journalism, and let him give these talks about journalism. i don't know why. but ailes claimed that they only have one conservative host on fox news. >> sure. sure. >> but that they employee 24 liberal contributors. >> he. >> anyone who thinks fox news leans right, they had it backwards. they are leaning a little bit to the left at this point. >> huh? all right. let's dig in to the right-wing world. here is on the five. >> here is the thing that irks me, and i don't know the word irk often, but president obama is only cutting spending in an area that gave him his one and only victory. it's like he is cutting the one

employ that saved his butt. >> that was that deep incite from the performer failed lad-mad editor. but right, so obama has only cut the military, right. why don't we talk about the tens of thousands of government workers who no longer work for the government since obama came in. a lot of people have talked about the stimulus and the economy, the obama administration drastically cut back the number of people who worked for the federal government. this idea that he is only cutting the military is a joke as also. >> tucker carlson in for hannity yesterday. >> what is it about this president that so commanded the slavish dog-like loyalty of your

average working journalist. >> wow. wow. >> and not to -- you know, put tucker carlson on the couch or anything, but if bill maher asked over the weekend what exactly has obama done that has driven these people insane? what are these policies that fox news has to devote every day of its life for the last three years to calling obama a monster? that to me is a far more interesting psychological question. >> and as you just pointed out and point out so well on a weekly basis. the slavish dog like media is to a story, and many times it's against -- >> yes. >> there is way more negative coverage of obama than any of the republican candidates. >> yeah, the pew has been doing the study week by week.

obama has not had a positive week of news coverage in more than a year. so romney's news coverage doubles obama and did so throughout the winter. >> yeah. >> but that study cannot be discussed on fox news. and anyone who mentioned, it for they will be fired. >> i remember when osama bin laden was killed the coverage was, well, george bush finally achieved his -- what? >> we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show." >> there is a tea party in her pants and you are invited. call now. 1-800-steph-1-2. ♪

25 >> we're not through just yet, mr. vice president. >> they're swimming against the tides. ♪

♪ i heard that -- >> announcer: stephanie miller -- ♪ and you didn't think that i would hear it, hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up ♪ ♪ because i ain't no holla back girl ♪ >> that's not what i hear. >> uh-huh. this zombie face-eating story in miami just gets worse and worse. miami zombie attacker may have been smoking bath salts. a naked man who chewed the face off of another man may have been under the influence of bath salts. it's the new lsd. [ bell chimes ] >> it is. an emergency room physician says the drug makes users delirious.

you think? you can snort it or smoke it -- >> or you put it in bath water. >> yes, and calm the [ censor bleep ] down. >> you put it in your bath it calms it down. you snort it -- [ screaming ] >> ahhhhh! >> the drug makes users delirious. i hope that noted that on the thing. they exexhibitel have itted temperatures and extreme strength. >> and face eating. >> who knew lavender can have such a -- >> so that's chris's secret at the gym. >> ahhhhh! >> somebody is snorting lavender bath salts. >> watch out i'll eat your face.

>> rush limbaugh. >> i have noted before that undoubtedly the two worst scourges of modern history have been the scourges of communism and naziism. naughtyism was an attempt to whip up a war between the races. we have a president who is promoting class war fair he does not mind at all this war between the racists. >> he is both a communist and a nazi. >> not to trivialize the death of so many jews. >> right. >> that goes back to the question what exactly has obama

done that drives his people insane. >> he is black and successful. >> they reach for the nazi rhetoric before obama had even filled out his cabinet. this has just been relentless and they can't point to anything -- just like they freaked out over centrist bill clinton. what did he do policy wise that drove him insane. >> he has sex. >> and when you hear limbaugh talk about communism and nazis it's insane. >> all right. >> it is time for the summer driving season that is almost year. down $0.20 since april. and they could drop another $0.13 by mid-june. those falling prices could be

the sign of a falling economy. >> oh, wow. when they were going up, it was obama's fault. i see. >> this is one of the worst u-turns in fox news history. you know and it was -- he could not be reelected with these gas prices and obama himself was personally setting the gas prices. >> yep. >> he was waking up in the west wing and picking a random number. he controlled the global marketplace in terms of crude oil, and obviously now it's falling gas prices are bad news for the american consumer because it all means the

apocalypse is coming. now they just sit there and watch bill say it's bad news that prices are falling. i'm so curious what goes on inside of the brain of though fox news viewer. how do they rationalize that they are pushing the exact opposite attack 90 days later. >> i don't think the words matter. it's just obama bad, obama bad, obama bad. [ eerie music ] >> yeah, exactly. >> and here is neil. >> the problem is kind of the -- hogs get slaughtered kind of concept. when it got too greedy and they are making more than the people who actually pay their salaries the taxpayers people don't want to support that for very long and now they are seeing it. if they can't pay for protesters

or buses, and they can't show up and put on a t-shirt, well you know, the real support just isn't there. >> wow, first of all union members are taxpayers. >> that's right. they are also americans although if you watch fox news you wouldn't see that. but this is one of the reasons where the right-wing media was so opposed to the bailout and they are so upset that it worked. the unions failed and took down gm and chrysler and now they are rebounded, a, with the help of the government and b, with the help of the unions. so the whole success of the detroit bailout drives them to distraction, because there was going to be their centerpiece of how the unions have destroyed

this iconic industry. >> eric we ran out of time but you heard that george will called trump a [ inaudible ] eating ignore ramous. >> mitt romney has become the official fox candidate. he embraces trump in birtherism. >> yep. eric great stuff. see you next week. >> all right. [ applause ] >> we will play that crunchy audio goodness and go to our good friend charlie pierce next on the "stephanie miller show." ♪

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♪ >> yeah well you can't make sense out of >> announcer: stephanie miller -- . >> -- they are like beautiful puzzles are missing pieces or like my old man used to say they are all freaking nuts. >> thank you. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. we didn't have time for this in right-wing world but you have to hear george will. >> i do not understand the cost benefits here. what voter is going to vote for him because he is seen with donald trump. the cost of appearing with this

ignore ray mouse is obvious to me. donald trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your iq can be very low. again, i don't understand what the benefit is. >> and that was our friend jennifer grandholm who whispered oh, my god in the background. >> yeah. second hill airty. >> now the author of media matters for america -- >> -- pierce. >> charlie pierce political columnist for esquire.com. >> why is everybody always laughing with me. >> good morning, charlie pierce. >> ignorerammouse is not a line

he throws around often. >> it's true. real, it is amazing that he doesn't have to distance himself from this ridiculousness. >> of course not. this is what he does. he chides his extremist supporters kind of gently, and then that is supposed to be the end of it. >> right. >> he did it with the anti-immigrant guy, and he is certainly do it with trump. and i have no idea why. >> yeah. trump -- >> i thought only layman brothers went brokering at a casino. >> it is amazing. because i thought what is he basing this on. the literary agency born and

raced -- it is amazing. the fox business person that was on, said this is a dangerous game because donald trump doesn't have a lot to lose by peopling this birthing issue alive. >> i don't see any indication of this doing romney any harm. this is part of the general republican, you know cloud over everything. he just happened to be a noisy bad haired part of the universe. george will has brought it up but i don't think it has cost him any votes. >> your piece was great on willard romney's accidental truth slips out during mark halperin's interview.

romney said if you take a trillion dollars for instance out of the first year of the general budget that would throw us into a recession or depression. >> stop, hold it! wait! what did you say? >> right. >> if we reduce government spending dramatically, the economy goes bad? >> yeah. >> and i give chris hayes a lot of credit because he spotted it first. then i went back and read the transcript, and i said he can't really be saying that and there it was. >> as you say no christmas cards from the ryan household this year. >> are you kidding? there will be an empty chair at the festival. >> i don't know if you read the political piece.

mitt not into the vision thing. romney has not gotten into specifics of any kind except obama bad. >> those of us who lived under his barely distinguishable leadership career know this is what this guy is about. he doesn't have any vision for anything, or where he wants to take the country. he wanted to be governor, in the course of which he hoped it would help him be president. >> yeah. >> this is a career plan not a vision for where the nation should go. >> we were talking about our infuriating the stories were -- >> i thought you were talking about canables. >> mostly. but rather than coming to the table in the first place republicans are trying to figure

out how to take credit for this -- you know and we said over and over again this was romney's plan. >> i was going to say you will know they have come full circle when he starts bragging about massachusetts. when he starts to brag about that -- although they are getting push back saying the entire devil's work. >> yeah. it is going to be incredible. he is going to go no this is my idea. >> yeah. the way they will do it of course, is they will say we'll keep the letting your kids stay on your insurance, and preexisting conditions but you have to give us like medicare vouchers. that's what they will do. >> yep. yep. absolutely. charlie pierce also great stuff

on memorial day obviously. it is interesting how we're big on paying tribute to the troops, but you were saying to do the real things that will help them. >> yeah chris hayes got into a trouble for saying something about heroism. and a terrific soldier historian had written a story about going to a baseball game at fenway. give these guys jobs health care -- >> yeah. give them a real tribute. >> be better citizens so you don't put them in harm's way. >> chris hayes said we should stop calling fallen soldiers

heros. >> yeah. he is probably right about that. i wouldn't have phrased it that way, and i certainly think anybody who goes to afghanistan is a hero in way. >> he will be referred to for the rest of the season as a obama surrogate. >> oh, absolutely. but i think the most important thing we can do is be better citizens, and not fall for nonsense anymore. >> exactly. >> the best thing you can do for veterans is to do your best to make sure there aren't more of them. >> well said. charlie pierce we'll see you on panel at sexy liberal. >> if i'm back from the belmont stakes at time. but in two weeks, just so you know, i will be calling in from

wisconsin. >> oh, yes. >> i'm going out the last weekend before the recall. >> the recall is a week from today -- >> oh that's right. so next tuesday? did i say two weeks? >> yes, you did. >> well i may just stay there. start a new recall petition. [ laughter ] >> all right. charlie pierce. 42 minutes after the hour. joel stein is next on the "stephanie miller show." >> it's a combination of low self-esteem, low blood sugar and mixes caffeine with my dog's painkillers. >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ >>the guys in the middle class the guys in the lower end got screwed again. >>i think you know which one we're talking about.

the overwhelming majority of the country says"tax the rich, don't go to war." >>just wanted to clarify that.

pweingarten, aft dorg.org. we will be right back. ♪ >> announcer: stephanie

miller -- ♪ she's a man eater ♪ ♪ she's a man eater ♪ >> uh-huh. i see because we didn't have men, men, men, men. >> right. >> i see. 47 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. that's because we have joel stein on with his new book. honestly, i have loved your stuff for so long -- not only is your writing so hilarious it is just such a hilarious idea. so you had a baby boy, so you panicked immediately how to pass on manly traits to your son.

>> i didn't think i cared at all, and then we got the sonogram, and he had this little smudge that i found out it was a penis. and the obgyn kept writing "wow" next to it. >> yeah. she thought he was well hung. >> yeah, she was like he can always work in the valley. [ laughter ] >> my son is not even born yet. what is going on? >> it begins joel's request to confront his afeet nature. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> you did 24-hour shift with

firefighters. >> as a kid i had a glass animal collection and an easy bake oven. i listened to show tunes only until i was in junior high. >> you could have ended up married to michele bachmann and yet you didn't. >> i know i find her more attractive than most men, i think. >> the 24-hour shift with the l.a. firefighters. >> yeah, firefighters are very cool, because they are kind of the opposite of cops, no offense to cops, but they don't like confrontation. like their only beef is with the elements. you only call a firefighter when you want to see him, unlike a cop. >> yeah, exactly. and the disturbing thing is mow good-looking they are.

>> yeah. >> i have always said firemen are hot. >> i think that's a horrible way to choose firefighters. it is okay to choose restaurant workers by hotness? >> yeah. >> chosen for the calendar basically. not for the firefighter skills. >> seriously my wife is never meeting my firefighting friends. >> yeah, i'll put the fire out mice i'm manly now. >> yeah. i'll let it burn. >> you rebuilt a house. how was that. >> my wife's dad is a manly man. it was miserable, i hated every second of it. but i now do stuff around the house which is absolutely crucial. if i could do one thing from this book, it would be fix things around the house. >> so writing this book did in

fact make your more manly. >> yeah that and youtube. i'm like 12% manlier. >> and driving a lamborghini -- >> that was cool. >> that was one super fun thing i did for the book. but as a liberal we are allowed to spend ridiculous amounts of money on hotels and vacations. i know a guy who can buy a lamborghini, but if he bought one all of his friends would think he is having a mid-life campus. >> yeah, there are liberals that pay a lot of money to go to boot

camps, like spas and sufficient. but i am guessing this was not as fun. >> it was a pretty amazing experience, but less fun. in the first three hours before i had done any physical activity whatsoever, it was very hot. i hadn't slept much. i was wearing a lot of layers and i locked my knees and fainted for the first time in my life. >> really? >> yeah, it's guys just yelling in your ear to like urinate softer, and don't look up when you eat, and your boots are on wrong and your hat is on wrong, and it's just screaming at you non-stop. >> it sounds like catholic school. >> if it was catholic school i would have been prepared. [ laughter ] >> you got in the ring with a famous wrestler. >> yeah. [ inaudible ] >> that's a veteran manly name,

couture. >> ultimate fighting, that's not wrestling. >> yeah, he is huge and imposing. >> did you actually fight? >> yeah, face beating is a completely legal move. you grab the guy by the back of the neck and knee him in the face like a rocket. [ laughter ] >> i can name off of man stuff now -- >> you sound more manly. >> i know. i can walk up to -- like when i see soldiers in the airport, i used to be afraid i didn't know if they didn't want to talk to me, or if i should offer them my feet, like i didn't know how to deal with them, and now i can talk to them about basic training and firing a tank, and using man terms, everything is much easier. >> exactly. it is great to be on the ship

with men. joel stein the book is great. it is so great to talk to you again, and good luck. >> thank you so much. >> all right. there he goes joel stein. >> great! [ applause ] >> hi-lairous. >> yeah. i'm going to fetch that and put it on my kendall. >> fetch not a manly word, but all right. >> yeah. >> you know what is manly, eating another man's face. cindy on this. >> i am the official black lab rescuer of the "stephanie miller show." [ bell chimes ] >> why are you so racist? >> because i only a black lab now. i live in humboldt there was a young man who dropped acid who cut his testicles off and flushed them down the toilet he

thought they were evil. and there was a warning in the newspaper saying the content may be disturbing to some readers. >> yeah, a bit. can you imagine when he finally came to be coherent. >> oh, dear. i did what? i just cut my [ censor bleep ] off. that is worse than the i just [ censor bleep ] shot myself. vicky in albuquerque new mexico. welcome. >> hey, it is my birthday! >> it's your birthday! >> i was wondering if you would sing happy birthday to me like marilyn monroe. i know you can do it.

you were stretching out earlier. >> yeah, my back -- i got to get to the chiropractor. ♪ happy birthday dear victory, happy birthday blllll ♪ >> how was that? >> yeah, that will work. >> the people on current saw you lay down and stretch your back out. >> yeah, that was something in the comma sutra. [ applause ] >> your ankles over your head thing that you do. >> as you do. well, for a back thing. >> sure. i'm sure many people are going to save this on their dvr. rewind. oooooooooh. rewind. oooooooooh. i sent jacki schechner an email from a guy and we were

realizing how many guys are pausing their dvrs during the toss. and it's like owe! [ buzzer sounds ] >> stop it. oh look at this. newt gingrich says romney will get more than 40% of the latino vote. >> really? he is just as dilutional when he is running as when he is not running. >> yeah. president obama at 61%. mitt not even the vision thing. >> can't sully his beautiful mind with a vision. >> all of that and celebrity stack as we continue on the "stephanie miller show." ♪

♪ [ theme music ] ♪ hello -- oh i'm here. hello current tv fans. here we are getting ready for hour number three of the big post memorial day weekend show. >> the best part of a long weekend is the four-day week that follows. >> yay more drinking! oh jim, listen to this how florida governor concealed election for mitt romney. that's crazy. >> whatever happened to kathleen

harris -- [ coo coo clock chimes ] >> hum. all right. jacki -- >> someone ate her face off -- >> jacki schechner who is from miami, and we're not sure how many face-eating zombies she has dated -- >> this week? [ laughter ] >> now from the current news center. here she is. >> good morning, everyone. celebrity apprentice is done for the season, and donald trump has found another way to thrust himself into to the spot light. there is a new web video that wonders why mitt romney is aligning himself with a man who continues to question whether or not the president was born in the united states. >> i have read about him, he is

an arab. >> no, ma'am, he is a decent family man, citizen, i just happen to have disagreements with. >> the video goes on to show the great extent to by donald trump will show to stick with the birther stance. a romney campaign aide is confirming that mitt romney will meet with sheldon adelson in las vegas today. he has yet to give any money to the romney super pack. a california church is putting up a billboard in north carolina offering an app -- apology for

amendment one. it says it is sorry for the action of those who denied equality in the name of god. we'll be right back after the break. "stephanie miller show."

the bundler. let's say you need home and auto insurance. you give us your information once, online... [ whirring and beeping ] [ ding! ] and we give you a discount on both. sort of like two in one. how did you guys think of that? it just came to us. what?

bundling and saving made easy. now, that's progressive. call or click today. jennifer granholm is politically direct on current tv. >>the dominoes are starting to fall. (vo) granholm is live in the war room. >> what should women be doing? >> electing women to office. (vo) she's a political trailblazer. >>republicans of course didn't let facts get in the way of spin.

>>do it, for america. ♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> whoo! it is the "stephanie miller show." barely surviving our post memorial day show. 6 minutes after the hour 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. pretty sure i threw my back out -- well as you call it not dancing, jumping. >> yeah jumping.

kelby of current tv watching you. >> that last one the single ladies with jacki schechner did it. will that stop me from going to spinning? why, no jim. you may wonder what am i hearing? well it's my yasst-shirt. check it out on stephaniemiller.com -- maybe i'll go to the yoga part. there is a yoga part spinning class or a section where you can do both. >> do they have a chiropractor maybe that would help. >> look at this. can i have love music? [ romantic music ] >> we have discovered my role in the weird. judy another you saved my marriage letter. just wanted to thank you for giving my husband and i

something to talk about. our 40th anniversary is tomorrow, and we are still happy. [ applause ] >> saved her marriage. that's my thing, my bag my roll. [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> oh, you know what, someone whom i have dated. >> what? >> you'll have to guess this one. >> greg brady. >> no. >> weird al. >> no. >> danny bonaduce? >> no. >> not donny oz bond. >> todd bridges. >> oh that's right. >> i went out with him just once. >> was it a successful date? >> no. >> i find it strange that he is getting a divorce after he breakup. [ dramatic music ] -- so maybe there is that.

a world of possibility awaits me. >> you could date other '80s sitcom stars. >> could you take out your organ for me. [ organ music. ] >> ten things the church wish they knew about homosexuality. number two you are not being prurs cuted when prevented from persecuting others. and number 4, you cannot call it special rights when season asks for the same rights you have. marriage is a civil ceremony, which means it is civil right, and now someone stimulates the nerve, you are the one who is lost. you must use parts of the bible you yourself do not obey. if we do not do the right thing

in our day, our grandparents will look at us with the same distent has our grandparents looked at us. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> eric on twitter has a new slogan for yas. >> what? >> yas away your ass. >> thank you. we'll look into that. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> i was a director of a women's clinic in fort worth when i was pregnant with my youngest daughter in 1987, and when i went to that conversion they talked about how the conservatives were going to do away with our birth control. >> yeah and now we're in 2012 talking about this, right? >> exactly. and it was my attitude then that

surely this isn't going to be taken away from us. >> right. >> you are kidding, men seem to have an interest in this too, right? >> exactly. and i met a marvellous man there who took birth control to low-income areas, and it was illegal. >> uh-huh. >> and there are a great many men and women interested in this issue, and i'm very very concerned that my daughter and my granddaughters are not going to have the same access i had. >> yeah, absolutely. >> and i would really like to know where you stand on this. >> well -- >> so we can move forward. >> funny you should say that because that's the obama sew gan. >> oh, my gosh look at that. >> yeah, one of many many reasons we have got to get obama reelected. that's why romney is losing

women by about a billion points. [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> i'm at 140% with latino voters quite frankly. >> he said well barack obama failed on immigration even when we had a democrat house and senate. [ screaming ] >> first of all we never had both houses because of the way they are abusing the filibuster and joe lieberman is a douche. so stop saying -- ♪ joe lieberman ♪ ♪ douche ♪ >> he was the most extreme of everybody in her to debates. he called arizona's immigration rule a dream rule. it goes on and on. go figure. ed gillespie a romney surrogate.

he defended romney only doing fox yesterday. he said do you ever think we're going to see him on one of these interview shows? and he said bob, we're going to take our message to american children. you saw him talking to school children last week. oh, i bet those were some tough questions. >> yeah. how come your hair wasn't gray like your dad's was. >> yeah, [ applause ] . >> just my little beat. >> romney will only go on fox news or fox news sunday. >> why? >> because he's yella. >> i heard -- was it "meet the press," yesterday. somebody was talking about how the bain ad isn't even fair. he wasn't even there -- it's like what? he put in to place all of the policies --

>> yeah, it's a red herring. >> it's like tim mcveigh going i wasn't in the building anymore. [ explosion ] >> that's right. i just said mitt romney is just like tim mcveigh in every way. just like last week i said mitt romney is just like hitler in every way. >> it's exactly the same. you see. >> it was a slow post holiday, so i just thought i would stir things up a little bit. sometimes i like to poke the right-wing hornet's nest with a stick. >> huh? >> what did stephanie miller just say? >> mitt romney is exactly like tim mcveigh and hitler -- >> in every way. >> so i stopped there to there could be a clean edit. [ applause ] >> all right. yes, it was a holiday weekend,

the president on memorial day yesterday. >> for the first time in nine years americans are not fighting and dying in iraq. [ applause ] >> we are winding down the war in afghanistan and our troops will continue to come home. >> that's the best thing we can do for soldiers is stop sending them into wars unnecessary in particular. >> for all of you who carry a heavy burden on your heart, we can make it a point of understanding as americans. came home and sometimes we're denigrated when you should have been celebrated. it was a national shame, a disgrace, it should never happen. that's why here today we resolve that it will not happen again. >> i heard that that was a myth.

>> again you read charlie pierce's piece in esquire he talks about it wasn't the couple of hippies yelling stuff. he was talking about institutionally not taking care of them. joe biden yesterday. >> they got him. >> bin laden. >> and in the process those warriors sent a message to the world, that if you harm america, we will follow you to the end of the earth. >> nobody gets me. er don't -- why don't they get me. oops they got me. >> for all of the talk about joe biden going off of the reservation sometimes -- >> uh-huh. >> i don't know if he was talking to the soldiers, but he was talking in really personal teamers about losing his wife and child and he understands suicide among ptsd. >> right. can you imagine romney making a speech like that --

>> i know. >> something with real human experience. >> yeah, he talks about a car accident that killed his wife and daughter and his sons were in critical -- >> yeah. >> can you imagine poll testing that saying i can understand thinking about suicide or whatever, but i thought -- you are right it was like a real moment. mitt romney must have been like -- >> once our car elevator broke down with my wife in it. >> a dressage horse nearly tripped. and we were horrified. thank god it didn't happen. okay. 17 minutes after the hour. >> rafalca lot the steps wrong once. >> we were agsa. you can imagine how unseemly that was in the dressage world. >> we were ashamed. >> may cause dizziness, sexual

nightmares and sleep crimes. >> announcer: it is the "stephanie miller show." >> we're still up live. >> hello. >> hi, current. good to talk to you this morning. >> you shouldn't mention that town in austria. >> no, please don't. thank you. [ show playing in background ] >> hal sparks tomorrow. >> oh, dear. what is that? [ show playing in background ]

>> we're not through just yet, mr. vice president. >> they're swimming against the tides. [ show playing in background ]

>> all right. we are back up live. ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller -- ♪ no need to leave so soon i been trying all night long just to talk to you ♪ >> i have been laying down with my legs over my head all morning, because my back is out. jim has been laying down because he is hungover. >> no, i'm just tired. the lights -- >> yeah, too much lights in here -- >> you should haven't to squint to do radio. >> yeah chris lavoie 2012. >> here we go. julie in portland, you are on

the "stephanie miller show" welcome. hi, jewels. >> hey stephanie great to hear you, great to see ya. >> thank you. >> when are we going to see mitt romney's birth certificate. his parents were on a mormon mission to take care of those wild, crazy mexicans and get them into their cultish behavior -- >> oh, dear. >> and that's where mittens was born. >> yeah, there was some confusion as to whether or not mitt romney was born in mexico or not. >> why don't donald trump get on that? [ dramatic music ] >> yeah. >> i want to see the long form. >> i have seen his birth certificate it is huge, and written in mexican -- >> i'm not a mitt romney birther, i'm just saying there is some confusion out there. >> i was born in test tube.

>> by the way, jeremiah wright is back in the spotlight. mormons flush with wealth. >> uh-huh. >> the white horse will rise and lead america back to greatness. [ dramatic music ] >> oh, dear. they were saying that it's caused a national mormonism 101 class, which we started last week. >> wow. if you want to ride, don't ride the white horse. >> okay. let's go to sarah in albuquerque. hi, sarah. >> good morning, stephanie. >> good morning. >> hi mooks. >> hello! >> i just wanted to let you know that my mother is going to be 72 this year and she has been campaigning for obama since his last campaign. and this month is gay pride, and we are going to be going to all

of the gay pride events. me and my partner and my 12-year-old daughter -- >> wow. >> to try to make sure that obama stays in office. >> good for you. and i just wanted to say good morning. >> well, good morning. >> and my partner told me that jim ward does geico gecko. that's his voice -- >> no, that's not me. i wish it were me. i wouldn't be here because i would be -- >> huh? >> that's what happened with karl zozrocci. >> hello. >> good morning, guys. >> welcome. >> just imagine if i'm running for small town usa, and the only thing i'm running on is a lawyer.

and you find out hey, he's not really a lawyer, wouldn't you use that? >> no, that would be impolite. of course i would. >> here is the whole premise that romney was a job creator, and come to find out venture -- excuse me -- vulture capitalism is about creating wealth. so if i was obama i would bang him upside unnatural white hair every day. >> all right. thank you honey. by the way. mitt might have wished he wouldn't have taken that hilarious picture with all of his dollars bills. having a cell phone photo of yourself holding drugs and cash, may prevent you from claiming you are not a drug dealer. a significant amount of drugs

and cash and guns was not because he was a drug dealer. >> cocaine for everybody! >> that does sound like mitt romney for sure. >> that guy is mitt romney's vice presidential candidate. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> here is mittens trying to fake some authenticity. >> greatness in a people is measured by the extent they will give themselves bigger to something than themselves. >> meaning? -- >> what, like what your sons did? or didn't do? >> pretty much. linda in connecticut on mitt romney. hi, linda. >> oh, hi, steph! >> hi. >> i have been trying to get through to you for so long. how are you doing? >> i'm popular, clearly. >> love your show. >> thank you. go ahead. >> to get back on mitt romney

and how he has been getting a free ride on interviews and all of the softball questions and stuff, and i think it stinks. >> yeah, i think he literally has only done fox. he hasn't done anything else. >> yeah, because he is scared you know whatless. >> he was grilled by school children which must have been terrifying. >> yes. >> we have more mitt romney audio. and david bender will be on with us tomorrow, because i think romney will actually have clenched the nomination by tomorrow. >> the texas primary is today. >> oh, it's so exciting. [ yawning ] >> okay. 29 minutes after the hour. right back on the "stephanie miller show." ♪

message created by a current tv viewer for allstate save 11 campaign. >>i was going to pick up my little brother from school today. >>i was actually going to clean my room today. >>my dad was finally going to make it to one of my basketball games. >>i was going to apply to college. >>i was going to go to work, on time. >>my mom was going to buy me a car. >>i was going to try out that new chinese restaurant. >>i was going to audition for the school play. >>today i was going to tell my girlfriend that i loved her. >>i was going to play cards with the guys. >>i was supposed to turn 18 today. >>join the movement to help prevent teen driving deaths at

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♪ >> what i warned you is god takes care of drunks trolls -- >> announcer: stephanie miller -- >> it is me. it is the "stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. ken my right-wing love muffin in new york. hi, ken. >> hey, stephanie. obama really isn't eligible to be president because he isn't a natural-born citizen. his father was a foreign national, which makes him a citizen of his father's country. >> no, that's not how it works. >> he is a natural-born citizen

under the supreme court. it defines a natural born citizen as an individual who is born in the united states with parents, two, who are citizens -- >> ken, do you believe he was born in hawaii? >> oh, yeah he could be born in hawaii, but -- >> that doesn't matter. >> -- he is not natural born. >> i see. that seems to be quite are faux pas on behalf of all of the security services of the united states to let him be president. >> yeah, they are dumb that way. >> there is really no [ inaudible ] in dividing, to determine the natural-born citizenship of a president. >> he was born in hawaii, so you are at national-born citizen -- >> no, you inherit from your father. that is natural law. you inherit your father's

name -- >> how does this slip by for the first time in the united states history? >> well, it's not the first time actually. >> oh? >> this is probably about the second-known time that this has occurred. >> what was the first? >> his name was chester arthur. he was born -- in his -- his father was a canadian citizen, and he actually was born in canada they found out later on. there's documented proof of that. >> so george washington's father was a british citizen -- >> yeah, but see the constitution made an exception for people who were not citizens -- >> what article is that in? >> it's in the constitution -- >> what article? >> article five i believe. >> okay. no, not article five -- >> all right. ken thanks -- >> it makes an exception for the people who -- when the constitution was created. >> well, awesome.

thanks for the head's up -- >> article five is the process by which the constitution could be altered. >> boy. >> 27.8. >> if the fbi and cia are listening now, they are mortified over this whole thing, we are -- thanks for the head's up -- >> what you just said was one of the most insanely idiotic thing i have ever heard. everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. >> so if you with are born in alaska you are part canadian and also russia because you can see it from your house. >> that guy was stupid. >> carson in ohio -- >> i'm still trying to get over that last caller. >> did you like that eighth grade conversation? >> yeah. i just wanted to say hi, steph. >> hi.

>> i met you at the sexy liberal tour in madison. >> oh, yay. >> but today is the birthday of john f. kennedy and he would be 95 today. >> oh, wow. >> i also wanted to mention that meeting you was one of the highlights of my life. >> oh, that is so sad for your life but thank you for that honey thank you. what a sad little story. let's go to chris in l.a. hi, chris welcome. >> hi stephanie, good morning. >> good morning. >> i heard this elderly woman who said if she fell down, she would be fearful for his life -- and i realized it was a

commercial. >> help! help! jim likes to mock that commercial, i fell and i got really manipulative. >> romney was saying that people feel like they need to give to something bigger than themselves. i realized that was his clever way of calling for higher corporate income taxes since as we all know corporations are people. >> yeah. >> and the only way they can give to someone bigger than themselves, they could give to the government. >> yeah. mittens yesterday -- >> i wish i could tell you that the world is a safe place today. it's not. >> no. >> iran is rushing to become a nuclear nation -- >> because of the black guy. >> -- the thought of the material in the hands of hamas or other terrorists is

unthinkable -- >> and you know our number one political foe is dolph lundgren. mittens yesterday. >> we dedicate ourselves to strength, and to preserving the freedom for which they gave their lives and walked in harm's way. >> that's heart felt. >> yeah. >> he has no personal question. >> walk in harm's way, blah blah, blah. >> yeah. >> the choose that course of america not so that we win wars, but so we can prevent wars because a strong america is the best deterrent to war than has ever been committed -- >> the implication that obama making the country weaker.

>> bitter party one. >> i take that thing back. >> i'm just cranky. i sat on a pie. >> he is an arab. >> cancel the apple pie on the seat. >> huh oh. >> grandpa are you sitting on the pie? >> i sure hope so. >> these are poo jokes. [ flatulence sound effect ] >> hi, ruth, welcome. >> good morning. >> good morning. >> i just had a comment about how the conservatives are going to fit the script if mitt romney wins the white house about the economy. i thought it had been proen that the president doesn't control the economy. it's global. but because the economy is so bad, it's obama, obama obama, but i believe if mitt romney wins the white house they are

going to say you know the president doesn't control the economy. so they will blame obama for it, but not mitt romney for it. >> yep exactly. >> would you like a chester a arthur fun fact. >> yes. >> he was born in fairfield, vermont his father was born in -- well ireland. [ dramatic music ] >> so that caller was so completely wrong -- >> that makes -- >> a leaptrecon. >> he is the biggest one ever. >> he ate several of them. >> he ate all of the lucky charms. >> yeah. pam in new hampshire you are on the "stephanie miller show." hi, pam. >> hi, steph, how are you? >> good, go ahead.

>> i'm starting to get afraid. i don't want a bunch of bigots running this country. and if you should see what was going on up here in the state house if these radical tea partiers, it's really, really scary. >> yeah, i know. >> i hope we all get out and vote, because this is getting scary. >> i think we were giving too much credit by calling them bigots, they are littleets. >> that's a new word. [ bell chimes ] >> mitt romney not into the [ indiscernible ] thing. this is what i was thinking. he has run such a relentlessly negative campaign -- >> whatever it is i'm against it. >> yeah, he is against -- the nominee has some republicans worried he lacks the vision

thing. there is that word again. hate it. some republican officials fear he has failed to articulate a plan for the country. they say romney must stop running solely defensive campaign -- >> i'm not defensive. you are the one that is defensive. >> yeah. wherever you want him to. at the end of the day, you can't be all anti-obama. oh, ken blackwell. >> wow. >> he can't just say the future is bleak follow me. [ laughter ] >> from the beginning romney's stump speech has been a mix of siraci americana and bad singing. >> well, there is that. >> replace the policies with --

[ crickets chirping ] >> anything? >> he had therapy panels -- >> tom cole republican he has essentially adopted the ryan budget. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> isn't that wonderful eddie? >> that's a wonderful plan eddie, my goodness. >> isn't that wonderful eddie? >> i won't go! i won't i won't i won't! you can't make me! you can't, you can't! >> he has been extraordinarily light on issues even on the economy in which he taughts his experience. he has been pressed to outline specific ways he will transfer that no-how. >> that's why bain is such fair game. >> uh-huh. >> how does that make you a job creator? seriously? >> the only thing it proves is

that it makes rich people like him richer. that is it. >> here is the part that has been stuck in my craw all morning. he has repeatedly called for repeal of the health care. but like house leaders who have begun to preserve some of the aspects -- all of which he thought of -- i'm telling you he is going to say this was always my idea that and saving the auto industry. he is also on record favoring parts of the law. he told jay leno he would let the preexisting thing -- that's the problem. in trying to make this workable you can't just cherry pick those parts. he has called for repeal of dodd-frank but has been vague about anything that will replace it. i guess no regulation at all.

[ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> as for reviving the economy, romney is vague on policies he would implement decides displacing obama as president. oh, see. magically no more black guy, everything will be fine. his plan points to a 59-point plan for improving the economy, and it spends more time criticizing the president. i wouldn't be black for sure. i'm the white horse. [ buzzer sounds ] >> 47 minutes after the hour. right back on the "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: you can't turn her off, not in the middle of turning her on. it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ >>just wanted to clarify that. it's go time. >>every weeknight cenk uygur calls out the mainstream media. >>the guys in the middle class the guys in the lower end got screwed again.

>>i think you know which one we're talking about. the overwhelming majority of the country says"tax the rich, don't go to war." >>just wanted to clarify that.

>> we're not through just yet, mr. vice president. >> they're swimming against the tides. ♪

♪ i like a good time in the city ♪ ♪ i never lost one minute of sleep ♪ big wheels keep on turning, turning -- >> announcer: stephfy! ♪ rolling on a river ♪ >> oh, it's billy in texas, everybody. good morning. >> good morning, guys. do y'all really think that everybody against obama in this election is against him because he is black. >> no, only people that say racist things. >> then why do you hammer that and hammer that. >> because people that say

racist things that is racist. >> like what? >> you can see tons of tea party rallies with bones in their noses and watermelons on the lawn. >> are you kidding me? yeah, there are some racist people -- >> there absolutely are -- >> but there are racists on both sides -- >> why haven't you denounced anybody like that. >> if somebody comes up with a poster of me or obama with a bone through his nose -- >> a bone -- >> i'll take it away from them because it is not right. >> billy there is a million examples -- >> that's the one you always point to. >> because that's the one that is most heinous. >> i agree -- >> who on fox news recently called him a skinny crack head? you don't think there is racial intent is to that --

>> we know he did drugs -- >> you think he did crack? >> i don't know if he did crack or not. i don't see anything racist about that either way. >> yeah. 30 years ago he admitted to smoking pot. >> and bill clinton inhaled. and george w. bush did cocaine, does that make him a crack head. >> jim who said someone who cares about the people their lives, and that we have break through the suspicions on the policies abroad. >> who said that? >> yes. >> chester arthurfield and the pips. >> president john f. kennedy. it is his 95th birthday today.

in honor of him go to sexy liberal right now and buy some steph crap -- >> how does that -- >> because i said so. >> and he was a capitalist. >> is this racist or just weird. a dominican dancer who said she made a lot of money testified that he made her dress up as a burlesque version of president obama and dance around. >> that's just weird. >> oh my god! >> that's just weird. [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> the abby -- oh the famous gay bar in west hollywood has banned parties until same-sex marriage is legal. >> that's right. >> and that affects me how? >> i don't know. >> well the owner of the abby

said he was tired of straight women shoving it in his patron's faces that they were getting married -- >> like sexist pigs -- >> well, i don't know if there were any go go dancers. >> ash and demi might be getting back together? hat? [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> i go all full team demi, and look at this. there is is a new report saying they might be headed for a shocking reconciliation. >> maybe he promised not to get nibbles in her hoo hah. >> no chance i'm going to roll around naked in creamed corn with a bunch of guys trying to stick nibblets up who hah.

>> the age of social media, it is too late once you have changed your twitter name from mrs. kucher, to just demi. >> no. >> once you defriends on facebookor changed your twitter name, it is just too embarrassing. that door has got to stay shut pal, because i would be humiliated. >> anything that is changed on twitter or facebook can be changed back. >> you speak from experience it sounds like. [ buzzer sounds ] >> that's why i don't do either. [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> okay, wow i mentioned this story earlier. how florida governor rick scott could steal the election from mitt romney. >> what? >> florida who has brought us face-eating naked zombies, with

little fanfare it's sloppy chaotic and possibly illegal, but here is how, he has created a mass list of republicans purged from the voting roll. >> this just in george w. bush has just won the election again. >> it includes hundreds of eligible u.s. citizens. scott's list is heavily targeted as hispanic and democratic voters. eligible voters will be removed from the polls if it is like a very close race. >> it's not even a conspiracy if it is all out in the open. >> he probably planted the face-eating zombies to distract us from the story today. >> he find of looks like a face-eating zombie.