[ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> stephanie: well, good morning current tv fans. hello hal sparks. hello, chris lavoie. i'm not talking to jacki schechner since i was beaten so badly at the danceoff at my party. talk to the hand. >> i said you got extra points for originality and enthusiasm. >> ouch. >> enthusiasm. >> stephanie: that's like every kid gets a tee ball trophy [ wah wah ] >> another adorable story about jacki schechner.

she brought a pie. how mayberry is that? she makes a mean key lime pie. >> where was this pie that i seem to have missed? >> stephanie: we all ate it before you could get to it. it was delicious. >> wait, she baked a pie and she outdanced you. she's turning into like the nemesis in a romantic comedy. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: that's right. she's the aunt bea of stephanie miller's mayberry. andy, i brought a pie. you're not from l.a., are you? that's so cute. here she is. all of that and she cooks too. jacki schechner in the current news center. >> good morning, everybody. i'm not sure why mitt romney allowed donald trump to completely overshadow his day yesterday. but he did. and he overshadowed the big news that mitt romney is now the official g.o.p. nominee. he needed 58 delegates to clinch the nomination and he got at least 97 in yesterday's texas primary. he's going to spend the day now fund raising in bakersfield california and in silicon valley. playing off of the facebook

theme, the democratic national committee is out with a new video. they're calling not a lot to like about mitt romney. >> bain capital acquired a company in essence, looted it and then laid off 1700 people. >> when people can point to where you made a quick profit and kicked people out of their jobs, that is an issue that's got to be addressed. >> i like being able to fire people. >> it's got a catchy tune. it goes down the time line, the theme of the whole video. there is a big oops for the romney campaign this morning. they tried to get into the iphone app space, releasing a new app last night called with mitt. it lets you take a photo add one of 14 banners and share it with friends and facebook and twitter. somebody forgot to spell check and one reads a better amercia rather than a better america. it took little time to make fun and surprisingly, it is still not fixed in spite of all of the attention and the articles and the top trend on twitter!

we took this photo the last one just 20 minutes ago. we'll be right back after the break. [ train whistle blows ] [ ball hitting paddle ] [ orbit girl ] don't let food hang around. yeah! [ orbit trumpet ] clean it up with orbit! [ orbit glint ] fabulous! for a good clean feeling. ♪ eat, drink, chew orbit! ♪

right? [ laughter ] >> 46 minutes after the hour, right back on the "stephanie miller show."

♪ katrina and the waves ♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: why, yes it is because i'm drinking from my new current mug! boy, they get very persnickety. apparently they don't like travel mugs without a logo. i got it current executives! >> travel mug. >> stephanie: i can only use

that once a week. i can only wash it so maybe times. -- so many times. who is that sultry voice? >> what's that heavy breathing i hear? ♪ the humpty dance do the hump ♪ >> announcer: tuesdays with hal sparks. >> yes yes! >> stephanie: let's just get rid of this. get rid of that travel mug. i'm so sorry. drink something without a logo. hal sparks, you tried warn us. >> did i. >> stephanie: at sexy liberal which is an entertaining and instructive and also prophetic hal sparks warns of the dangers of smoking or snorting bath salts. now, what has happened, the naked zombie aycock lips is here -- apocalypse is here. why? hal sparks comedy bit. >> apparently the overheating zam by man chewing the guy's face off in miami on an overpass

or off-ramp was high on bath salts at the time. unfortunate for some of my friends i went to high school with, attribute it to a new form of lsd which is bananas. not even close. >> stephanie: in kentucky. >> come anything actually. i went to grade school in income income -- in kentucky. >> stephanie: you were doing the story -- >> absolutely. it was overwhelmingly taking over the state. they had to pass a law. one of the first states to pass a law against this. there's another story. man hospitalized after throwing own intestines at police. >> stephanie: the zombie apocalypse is clearly here. >> that's a passive aggressive zombie, isn't it? >> stephanie: because we are -- >> forget chewing the face off. >> that's walking dead type stuff. >> absolutely. >> stephanie: you know what? i've got a spleen and i'm not afraid to use it.

what else do i have? wow. >> that's on a different -- >> stephanie: what else does dick cheney need? >> zombie way of saying oh no, i'm fine. thank you very much. yeah. what about my needs? >> right. >> the most giving zombie ever. >> stephanie: someone need a rope for rescue? use my intestine. >> if we had one of the ?rom bies for every five psycho face chewing zombies, it might cancel them out. >> stephanie: the face chewing and the zombies -- they could be lassoed by a lot of extra long intestines. >> have you not read the -- >> the walking dead explains it all. >> the zombie survival guide. >> stephanie: funny you should mention that. we're not just going to cover it. we're going to help you. steph, because the goal of your show is to instruct and delight thank you -- [moaning]

>> you should an wear of the zombie of the guide by brooks. -- >> mel brooks' son. >> stephanie: be prepared for the zombie apocalypse. [ applause ] >> if you look at the state most likely to be overwhelmed with zombies, not saying it is full of old people on the verge at all times -- >> but it is surrounded by water on three sides. >> they would all march north. as my grandmother said, do you have any idea how hard it is to get a body out of florida. she said this at the thanksgiving dinner table. they don't want you to leave. but what it sounded like was -- >> stephanie: how can you come help me move a body. that's a friend. that's a real friend. >> that's grandma. >> stephanie: sure, grandma. >> she was not on bath salts at the time for the record. >> stephanie: i'm confused. i've never seen smoked pot. do you snort it or smoke it?

>> you can do both. >> people can even consume it in pill form. you can get it probably even at the mobile station right down here. >> stephanie: golds to know. -- good to know. if things should get that bad. if the boxed wine should stop sufficing. >> if you need to put on weight. i don't have much of an appetite. >> stephanie: chris will be interviewed later. >> 85% of my face gone. >> chews off the face. >> stephanie: after we did naked zombie story, she seems overly interested in bath salts. and then i came out one day and found rebecca face-lift. [ screaming ] just one insult too many and i ate her face. >> yum yum. >> the upside of this whole thing -- the whole upside of

this is it is still news. if we were at the point where another zombie chewing somebody's face off. to the point we would even bother talking about it, that would be a problem. it is still shocking and frightening. >> stephanie: you didn't know -- hal sparks didn't know it was an overpass. it was an off-ramp. >> i figured as much. i don't think the actual victim got so far. >> i wanted to know if they knew each other. >> stephanie: they were both naked. >> no, the other one wasn't naked. >> they were both naked. >> oh then this is turning into a different kind of story. maybe bath salts -- >> stephanie: you might want the kids to leave. >> who hasn't been in the middle of a -- a relationship. >> stephanie: i said yesterday, some guys just aren't good kissers. from my experience. >> little too much teeth. they start out in high school with that full facial lick.

just the lips. oh, for god's sake. >> the girl -- they were taught to kiss by a dentist. wider, wider wider. >> stephanie: i dated a guy in high school that -- snap my neck. traction yes. >> count your blessings because you could have had your face chewed off. once they start gnawing, the game's over. >> although there are graphic pictures of the victim going around the internet that gawker is trying to hoist upon people. don't want to see that. >> thanks a lot gawker. the publics need to know. there it is. >> stephanie: it is a new media world. in fact, apparently naked face eating guy did talk to suri. >> i feel like finding some faces. >> i can't help with you facebook. >> not facebook. faces. >> searching for faces.

i found 16 faces fairly close to you. >> that sounds good. >> put on some music. >> now playing. ♪ face in the crowd ♪ >> from now on call me naked face eating guy. >> from now on, i'll call you naked face eating guy. ♪ face in the crowd ♪ ♪ out in the street ♪ >> stephanie: formerly mike in raleigh, that's just wrong. >> rocky mountain mike. >> stephanie: he's not out of moving boxes yet. wow, that was just wrong. hal sparks i think the main question we did not resolve yesterday because we needed you -- we hope you survived. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] should he choose nicolas cage or john travolta's face? >> i would go with nicolas cage. currently. viewed as weird but not. [ applause ] or john travolta playing nicolas cage. >> stephanie: or john

travolta's masseuse. what? we don't know for sure. >> you went there immediately? >> which one? there were seven. >> stephanie: whoever is cutest. >> somebody needs a new agency. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: can i tell you -- >> it is 924 not 524. >> sending people to the house for six months. they didn't get the memo. >> stephanie: best hollywood story ever. a lot of people yesterday took screen shots of me with my legs over my head. >> because people can pause dvrs now. >> stephanie: i threw my back out being old standing in the kitchen or losing in the danceoff to jacki schechner. it is my best friend's wedding. she's the romantic bride. [ applause ] we're going to claw each other's eyes out over hal sparks. look, hal, i know how to make key lime pie. whatever, jacki!

[ whatever! ] >> stephanie: carmen i'm ooh-ing and ahh-ing over this. she sent a screen shot of me on the floor with my legs behind my ears because i was stretching. >> she sent you one? >> stephanie: i found the greatest chiropractor in l.a. his name, i swear to god is dr. phil. [ applause ] i was like really, the noted [ bleep ] i see you're having daddy issues with your lower back. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: the activator is like magic for me. >> the little compression. >> it doesn't feel like it is doing nothing at all. >> stephanie: you might be getting, you know, ripped off with a bic pen but you're not. it is an implement that fixes your back. look, i have my catholic school posture back. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> i have one of those hang

upside down lost boy things. >> stephanie: tell me when that is happening, i could so take advantage of you. the magic hour of hal sparks strapped into -- >> my back feels -- zip! hey! >> stephanie: hi, hal. what you doing out here? >> i just put it out in the yard put on a blindfold. whatever is clever. >> stephanie: i think i'll practice my dive. look at that dyeing. >> what zipper is that? sounds like one of michael jackson's from bad. [ laughter ] like a record scratch. >> stephanie: 17 minutes after the hour. how did i know almost the whole first segment would be taken up with face eating zombie guy. >> i agree. something is not right. >> it is "the stephanie miller show."

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kill as many as we can... >>the story of the american born jihadist on the run for his life. an exclusive new interview only on "viewpoint with eliot spitzer."

>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ >> stephanie: it is the -- get it -- "the stephanie miller show." he's a little too on the nose. how come i'm talking over me? i hate when i interrupt me. >> yeah. i would just play a fine young cannibal song and see if people got it. >> i like to be a little more direct. >> apparently.

>> stephanie: captain subtlety. >> writes his jokes with crayons and hammers. >> smash! look like a house. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: we're getting caught in the trap this morning. also talking smack about my dancing during the break. whatever it is. >> that was me. >> you jump up and down in one spot. >> there's also this weird trap you move that's like you can't escape. >> stephanie: i dance with him on stage at sexy liberal. >> and booty drop. which looks like a baby hearing music for the first time. people are like -- he's dancing. his legs can't hold him up. >> stephanie: same reason for me wine. for him, no exoskeleton. >> that would be weird.

>> just as a public service announcement, if your baby does start to form an exoskeleton you're probably high on bath salts and you should get away from your children immediately. >> stephanie: it is too late for you. guess what. look who's here. our listeners are the only ones who have listeners make jingles for them. john and pam in ohio. ♪ ♪ from ohio, it's the john and pam show ♪ ♪ it's the john and pam john and pam ♪ >> stephanie: all right. hello, john and pam. >> good morning! good morning stephanie and everybody. >> stephanie: audra in minneapolis made that jingle. >> caller: i appreciate that. you'll get a kiss out of that. >> what is the screaming going on? >> okay, pam. >> caller: this morning or yesterday morning -- >> stephanie: pam has not been jingled in awhile. >> caller: she's over here going to town giggling.

yesterday morning, you had the guy calling in and said about obama has to go to his nationality where his father was born and everything. >> stephanie: he said that he's not eligible to be president because his father wasn't born here well with then mitt romney isn't eligible either because his father was born in mexico. >> that's right. >> the thing is it states if you're born in the u.s. or in any territory of the u.s., are you a natural citizen. >> stephanie: john, the point is the right wing caller was a complete dope. it doesn't matter where your father was born. it matters where you were. what to tell you before i give you to pam. we found your channel on sirius radio in our truck so when we're out on the road traveling and everything, we can still stay in touch. >> stephanie: we'll need a jingle for john and pam in their truck. pam, are you there? >> caller: yes, aim, sweetheart. i got something to tell y'all. we got tickets to the columbus show!

>> stephanie: sexy liberal! [ cheering ] >> you're going to have to pull them up on stage. >> no. you can't do that to me. i'll be so embarrassed. >> not just for being pulled up there. once you get up there, then you'll be embarrassed. then you'll really go to work. >> i do think i embarrass myself anyway so it ain't no big who-ha to me. i'm not going to keep you on now long because i know you have other callers but i'm so excited because we're going to be at the show. >> stephanie: you sound freshly jingled. that was exciting. >> caller: well, i get jingled every now and then at my age. >> stephanie: i love you and john. >> i love you guys, too. >> caller: i'm so glad you come to tv because you make our mornings. >> stephanie: thank you, john and thank you, pam. you're a hoot. [ applause ] >> stephanie: you know what

they pin the meter from hoot after panic. >> lord of mercy you y'all are a hoot. slash panic. >> stephanie: do we want to hear the donald trump wolf blitzer? >> many people do not think it was authentic. his mother was not in the hospital. there were many other things that came out and frankly if you would report it accurately i think it would probably get better ratings than you're getting. >> donald, have you seen the actual newspaper announcements within days of his the birth in honolulu? for example, the honolulu star bulletin, we'll put it up there. you see the birth announcement back in 1961? listen to me, donald. can i ask -- can i ask the question? donald, you're beginning to sound a little ridiculous. i have to tell you. >> i think you are wolf. let me tell you something, i think you sound ridiculous and if you would ask me a question and let me answer it --

>> here is a question did conspiracy start in 1961 when the honolulu star bulletin and the hon will you advertiser contemporaneously published announcements he was born in hawaii. >> that's right. many people put those announcements in because they wanted to get the benefits of being so-called born in this country. >> stephanie: many people did. did he go on to explain -- the gist of that? the many people that could fake birth announcements in papers? >> i don't know if you know this. it is an epidemic across the country. people showing up at dmvs with birth announcements from old newspapers trying to use them as i.d.s. horrible! >> stephanie: you know where they come from? dead, naked zombies faceless dead naked zombies. >> stephanie: 29 minutes after the hour. right back with hal. "the stephanie miller show."

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facebook.com/save11 >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> we need you around for a long time. without you, we would have to find some other to entertain us. >> stephanie: i don't remember dragging him on the dance floor. [ applause ] >> i've been in that experience before. come on! >> i've been a victim of that. >> stephanie: hal made a very good point. some fun facts about bath salts because you were saying we got tweets yesterday saying it is too soon to talk about naked zombie guy.

>> he was messed up a a massive hal use know general. the problem is there's no dosage for it. >> stephanie: there's not a correct amount of bath salts. >> no. the news story was that -- >> stephanie: this is mitt romney republican world. no regulation at all. [cuckoo clock] >> they're saying at a certain point, people overdose on it. they get hallucinations. >> stephanie: you're not supposed to smoke bath salts. >> you can't have an overdose without a dosage. >> human beings have been using opiates and pot for millennia. this is brand new! you're turning these monitor --

monsters loose in your head. don't be the first. >> there is a reason why the monsters are locked behind the door! don't insert a key! we all want to chew someone's face o we are able to turn it off because we have the flesh eating zombie cage that keeps it from reaching the surface when the guy at jamba juice doesn't get his order together. >> stephanie: we all have some bitchy drinking boss -- slam. i'm sorry. did i say that out loud? >> oh, the peace has reached us again. i'm ok. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> keep the zombie behind the door! >> stephanie: i told you i don't have that sound effect! [ laughter ] >> stephanie: teresa in

massachusetts. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi teresa. >> caller: hi, how are you? >> stephanie: good. >> caller: i'm so pissed that our democrats in washington aren't in wisconsin. you know our party is looking weaker and weak. >> debbie wasserman schultz was there. >> they should be there in droves. >> i totally agree. >> there is a bit of this theory that the quickening is happening around this it particular election and it is super tight like it is a presidential election slows into five weeks and that they're waiting -- >> caller: this has been going on for months. >> in so far as barrett's introduction and where the democrats can pour in and do ground game on a specific person. >> caller: i don't know. our party is looking weaker and weaker. at least the republicans stick together. >> stephanie: i've heard all of this. obviously debbie is distracted with the presidential race but i agree it is important what's happening in wisconsin. we ought to -- it ought to be all hands on deck. i'm told it is tightening today.

i think it is all about turnout. and i agree that this thing again with democrats being afraid like oh well, if he loses, we'll look bad. who cares! s i think it is because it is emblematic, the koch brothers, it is emblematic of everything that's going on. republican overreach all over the country. >> 7-1 outspending him? this is a necessary race and she's absolutely right and needs to be all hands on deck. the more attention that comes to it nationally, the more it starts to sway toward barrett. but the press is laying off of it. the dnc is pretending it is not happening. everybody's saying barrett is within -- he has a gap, he could close it. it is 4%, 5%, 2%. the problem is the way they've been messing with the voting machines and the way -- >> stephanie: like in florida. the purging. >> you have to win by 3% to 5%

over because they're going to erase some of the -- rachel did a great expose they're purging over 170,000 voters from florida right now. and. >> stephanie: this is the problem when you get republicans in governorships. >> they don't want you to vote. republicans -- for all of this talk of freedom and what the founding fathers wanted. >> stephanie: i don't mind losing a fair fight, halibut if you're so right on the issues, why do you have to make sure as many people as possible -- i'm sure everybody saw the same people highlighted on tv yesterday. world war ii vet woman voted -- they make it exponentially harder because now you have to go prove to them, you have to do something proactive to be able to get your right to vote back which you shouldn't have lost in the first place. >> i'm beginning to think when they say they want to go back to what the founding fathers intended, they are talking about the part where only landowners could vote. that was code for rich people. if you had land, you were rich. >> rich people.

>> rich, white men because women couldn't own land back then. >> exactly. i think they mean it. again. a lot of people are saying this is terrible. don't they realize -- of course they realize. >> stephanie: of course they realize. >> that's the whole point. this isn't an accident. they scooped up a bunch of republicans in there as well. they get two or three and it becomes news. the thousands of libertarians and liberals and independents and democrats that -- latinos specifically, they're targeted latinos across the country. to keep them from voting. they almost don't even report on that. >> stephanie: it is time for another mitt romney profile. here he is. strongly disavowing donald trump. >> i don't agree with all of the people who support me and i disagree -- they don't agree with everything i believe in. >> wow. [crickets chirping] >> a guy who put together a $2 million fund-raiser for you.

and doing 50 robo calls. >> stephanie: he needs to denounce a rick perry supporter who calls mormonism a cult. this is a person who calls the president a kenyan. >> a lot of people have questions about this. >> stephanie: on the day -- by the way, did you realize that mitt romney -- >> romney didn't even make a speech in texas last night. >> stephanie: it has reached a fever pitch. >> it is exciting. it is overwhelming. >> stephanie: on that day, here's trump again hogging the spotlight with this birtherrism nonsense. it is on the very day. it is incredible. this was before the wolf blitzer thing. i've not changed. you have a huge huge group of

people. i walk down the street. that's his polling when he walks down the street. the nut cakes that yell. you have a huge group of people, i walk down the street, people are screaming please don't give that up meaning the birtherrism. >> trump does not walk down the street. he gets driven everywhere! >> stephanie: i walk down the street in new york. >> chris walks down the street more than donald trump. >> a lot of people screaming at you on the street. i just [ bleep ] on your shoe. seriously? people in new york scream at you? let's see. obama when he was doing a book as a young man blah, blah, blah he's referring to the promotional material in which they said it was a typo. it was a mistake. that's his new proof of birtherrism. whrarchl. >> are you okay over there? [ whatever! ] >> stephanie: i'm this close to throwing my intestines at you.

>> is that a piece of face on the table? did you just cough up a piece of face? >> stephanie: i'm coughing up part of rebecca's face. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] carol in florida you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi carol. >> caller: hi there, stephanie. good morning. >> stephanie: good morning. >> caller: i'm he's from st. petersburg and our tampa bay times paper today, jeb bush now states he would consider being selected as a v.p. for romney. we need another bush ad nauseam. furthermore if romney can produce his birth certificate, why not his tax form. >> stephanie: did you see the birth certificate he released is the kind that donald trump says is not a real birth certificate. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: try again, mittens. let's go to omar in columbus. you're on "the stephanie miller show". >> caller: funny guy. i have to bring up something.

if your mother your father was born in america, no matter where you're born, you're still an american citizen so it wouldn't make a difference hypothetically speaking if president barack obama was born in kenya. his mother is an american citizen. it makes him an american citizen. >> it doesn't matter who your parents were. it is if you were born in the united states. that's what the whole anchor baby thing is about. >> but your citizenship does pass on. you don't have to be born -- he's right in that if your mother is an american citizen and you're born -- let's say she goes into labor while she's on a trip someplace, you're not automatically a citizen of france because she happened to be vacationing there and went into labor early. you're still an american citizen. because your mother is an american citizen. she still has her citizenship. you're an american. end of conversation. >> stephanie: that's a good point.

because that's the other thing, it doesn't matter the father, where your father was born or as so many people pointed out, mitt romney's father was born in mexico where they went to -- because they wanted -- anyway, that part is true. >> yeah. >> exactly. >> and again, his dad was born in mexico. and -- >> it says right on that certificate. >> ran for president. was born in mexico and obviously so, not hidden. some sort of fakey birth announcement. >> stephanie: so what was the deal with that? >> questions were raised then, too. >> but that's no question. he was born in mexico. you know what i mean? >> stephanie: was his mother an american citizen? >> his mother was born in america, yes. >> they had left -- oh, here's the thing. the wedding, the marriage would have been nullified in so far as the united states. it wouldn't have been counted.

because their wedding, their marriage would have been nullified -- it wouldn't have recognized in the united states because they had multiple wives. so no. >> stephanie: i need to finish coughing up the rest of rebecca's face. 45 minutes past after the hour. we're going to need something. >> you been rifling through j. r. ewing's pockets? came in that tin. >> stephanie: i have a werther's. don't worry. >> right in my lap. >> stephanie: right back on "the stephanie miller show". >> announcer: kid tested. john conyers approved. it is "the stephanie miller show."

>> we're not through just yet, mr. vice president. >> they're swimming against the tides.

>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ drives me crazy ♪ ♪ she drives me crazy i can't help myself ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." hump days with hal sparks. you okay? 50 minutes after the hour. >> i requested this song. >> stephanie: we're all about the naked face-eating zombies. >> stephanie: is there any update on the guy's condition? >> no. >> stephanie: i love the police said we hope that he recovers for his own sake but also so we know what happens. i gotta say -- what the hell. i've gotta hear this story. [ applause ] >> from his point of view, i don't know what insight he's going to get. >> stephanie: for instance how did you end up getting your face eaten?

>> he started gnawing my face. he kind of looked up and to the right. it is just a warning. tell everybody. anybody who looks crazy looks slightly up to the right like they're getting instructions, cover your face. go into a fetal position and call 911. >> stephanie: i don't know what the stand your ground law is. >> you got a lot more meat there. >> yeah, yeah. >> not going to be able to get to your spinal bone that quickly. >> stephanie: there is a morbid theme to today's show in that he just pulled up a picture of rob portman who is on the short list apparently. republican from ohio. >> who does look like a corpse photo like from 1840. they used to show the -- uncle jeb. >> almost everybody there floating as a v.p., as a potential v.p. >> stephanie: looks like the undead. >> looks like a zombie. they look vaguely zombiesque.

the zombie from 28 days later who was laying in the road. that's a plus in the republican field these days. >> stephanie: in the vice presidential debate. biden will go on and on and on. >> and bite his face. that will be the debate. joe bind walks out and goes hello! hello! >> stephanie: that was a big [ bleep ] deal. half my face is gone. lorie in connecticut you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: i love you guys so much. i called to stay on the line mostly because my internet is being worked on by the cable guy. >> you want to hear the guy. >> i didn't want to miss a minute. you guys are killing me. >> caller: i have a question for donald trump and all of the idiot birthers. how did two poor college kids get the resources to go to kenya to give birth to their child? how did they manage to pull that off and what 18 or 19-year-old flies halfway across the world to give birth to her child far

away from her family. >> and simultaneously have the money to pay off two local papers in hawaii to plant fake announcements. >> and the imposter appear in the hospital on her behalf so that some people see her and others don't. >> stephanie: newt gingrich. >> i think donald trump said what he said because he thinks it is the right thing for him to say. i think that obama creates very powerful emotions about him. largely because the radicalism of his youth. >> stephanie: it makes it okay. >> all of that born and -- if he were smart, he would have been born white like me and have a whippany the pooh voice. you wouldn't believe the stuff people will let me get away with. >> frankly, all you have to do is look like a bloated campbell soup can with diabetes and you can get five wives and. [ buzzer ]

>> stephanie: hal sparks! >> well! >> frankly -- >> look like a macy's parade float. >> newt gingrich and pat buchanan both float on the same thing which is that they're bloaty white guys who seem to get by saying amazingly crazy stuff simply because they sound like a disney like -- >> kermit the frog -- >> character. >> fraggle rock or something. >> rainbow connection at any moment. >> exactly. pat buchanan has the same thing. >> stephanie: this is -- the punch line yesterday. donald trump actually said on cnbc, i've been known as being a smart guy for a long time. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> stephanie: a bloviating ignoramus. >> how many times did he declare bankruptcy? >> i've been known to be a smart guy for a very long time.

>> in who? the circle of yes men you have following you around that have agreed to that haircut for the last 25 years? >> stephanie: you know? ♪ you're a lying sack of crap ♪ >> you're a lying sack of crap ♪ >> without the bootyliciousness. >> stephanie: can i have some nostalgia music? i lived in new york when i was a baby deejay in new york. everybody, good morning. stephanie in the morning. so way back then, late '80s early '90s, he was always a liemplet i remember him on tv going marla maples is just a friend. these are totally untrue rumors. ivana and i are fine. you are a giant dirt bag liar! [ applause ] moments later, he dumps his hand. oh yes, i was [ bleep ] marla maples and now we're married and now they're not.

he's always been a -- >> douche. >> stephanie: hi dale. >> caller: hi, stephanie. i am a long-time watcher first-time caller. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: you guys are great! >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i think i figured out mitt romney. are you ready? okay. none of the republicans can figure out why he's hanging around with donald trump. i think it is kind of like that book, men are from mars, women are from venus. it is like the hollywood thing. >> stephanie: donald trump is from uranus. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> caller: in mitt romney's world, there's no such thing as having another rich friend. there's no downside. >> you're absolutely right. when people -- when he came out in the whole elevator for his cars thing and expanding his house and people were going what kind of a -- isn't he aware how

out of touch that makes him seem? in an economic downturn we have a certain group of specifically white middle class voters who are losing ground. not been able to find work in the recovery, are all leaning toward mitt romney. this is a strategy that's working because this is a group of people who don't care how you make your money. just that you make money. rich guys, nascar comment buddies who have nascar teams and all of that, this is all part of this strategy. to look like a success. >> stephanie: this was a story in the "l.a. times" when he moved into the la jolla house one of the neighbors saying mitch jumped out of the of the car and said i drove here myself because i have a lot of fine art i don't feel comfortable shipping. it is something out of terms of endearment. be careful with that. that's worth more than you'll make in your entire lifetime. >> he's like jack nicholson in the witches of east which can. >> stephanie: right back on "the stephanie miller show."

the governor tomorrow night. she is awesome. "stephanie miller show." [ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> stephanie: hello current tv fans. jacki schechner -- hal sparks is right. you've become my romantic rival like in my best friend's wedding. julia roberts and cameron diaz. >> whose attention are we vying for? >> stephanie: hal's. >> it would help if i met him first! >> i would agree. >> hard to vie for someone's attention that you've never met. >> stephanie: whatever key lime pie maker. >> it was key lime?

>> stephanie: florida key limes pie. it was delicious. all right. we have david bender political strategist extraordinaire coming up. we're all overwhelmed. having some insomnia. now it is cured. >> sleep number. >> stephanie: hal with some stimulating news. now, with more news, it is jacki schechner. >> my mother is going to be so proud. good morning, everybody. it isn't getting much attention but the texas primary did set up a milestone in u.s. history with mitt romney becoming the first mormon presidential nominee of a major political party. with just 200 years ago that joseph smith founded mormonism, a relatively quick turnaround to have a major presidential candidate. smith did run for president but as an independent and it was to draw attention to persecution. leading mormon scholar bushman says the milestone is

"absolutely incredible in overcoming a history of prejudice against the religion" but romney has been keeping quiet about the whole thing. choosing instead to turn his attention to the economy. it is less than a week now until governor scott walker faces his recall election in wisconsin. and state officials there predict voter turnout going to be high. higher in fact than the actual election in november 2010 that gave walker his post in the first place. according to the wisconsin state journal, 60% to 65% of eligible voters are expected to turn out to cast regular or absent yes ballots. under 50% voted in november of 2010 when walker beat milwaukee mayor. bear set the democratic challenger this time around. however, there is no precedent for a statewide recall election in wisconsin so officials are doing their best to predict what they think the turnout will be. as for the money numbers they've just been shown that walker raised $5 million last month to barrett's $3.1 million

but both campaigns have about a million and a half cash on hand to spend. we're back with more after the break. stay with us.

>>(narrator) we are the trailblazers, the truth seekers. we are the idea no one wants to hear until it grabs you and won't let go. we push, we prod until the truth reveals itself. we are fearless, independent trendsetters, problem solvers, and above all, we are politically direct. the young turks with cenk uygur at 7, viewpoint with eliot spitzer at 8, the war room with jennifer granholm at 9, the

gavin newsom show fridays at 11. and there's only one place you'll find us: weeknights on current tv. ♪ katrina and the waves ♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." that's right, jim ward got eliminated on so you can dance so we brought hal in because jim won't dance. jim has an audition today. he'll be back tomorrow. >> i think it is more than an audition. >> stephanie: it is a gig. >> it is a motion capture thing.

he'ses to wear that rubber suit with the ping-pong balls. >> really? that's awesome! >> for a video game. >> stephanie: i'm sorry. i forgot to mention -- we didn't disappear jim ward to the cornfield. he has a job. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> that's fantastic. >> we need pictures of jim on the web site in his ping-pong outfit. >> stephanie: right? we should text him. take a picture of himself. >> okay. >> stephanie: 1-800-steph-12. stephaniemiller.com. sexy liberal.com. sexy liberal on facebook and twitter. sexy liberal, hal sparks. >> stephanie: hal sparks. next show aisha and john and hal and then hal back for the big one. >> in a world where everyone is going gaga for sexy liberal laughs, one tour is crossing the nation to bring intelligent

progressive comedy to you. nominated for four best touring awards including best lead comedy performer, the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour is returning to los angeles. on saturday july 28th stephanie miller and her band of sexy liberal players will perform live at the pantages theatre in hollywood, california. tickets are available online at ticketmaster.com. at all ticketmaster retail outlets or by calling. a portion of the proceeds from the evening's events will be donated to the trevor project. >> be swift and get your tickets now. that's the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour. don't miss your chance to experience history in the making. >> stephanie: seattle at the end of september. already over 80% sold. seattle is crazy. better hurry. get your tickets. somebody asked me, this on

the -- i'm too sexy to vote republican caps. speaking of which, hal, who said [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] if a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. who said that? >> leona hemsley. >> stephanie: that was such a bad guess. thanks for filling in for jim. the original sexy liberal. >> many people found himselfy. [ buzzer ] >> what? what did i say? i don't know why she's upset. >> still do. >> stephanie: couple of requests. chris, now that steph sang happy birthday to someone in the style of marilyn monroe, i have more requests. baby got back and ferg licious sung by nancy culp. [ applause ] >> stephanie: i think those are all i'm old and obscure jokes. i don't know. >> those jokes have mitt mentum too.

>> who doesn't enjoy that? >> nancy culp. >> robert culp reference maybe. would you put on the pajamas and fight crime? >> stephanie: i think we need to have ruth gordon sing something. do the clover song. ♪ roll me in the cloweer ♪ ♪ roll me in the clover ♪ [ applause ] >> stephanie: all right. one more request for me. ruth and john in fort myers, steph, wanted to send. >> picture of our handsome and romantic chow chow our sweet puppy. he is handsome and romantic. astaz man chew. [ applause ] >> stephanie: my friend named

her dogma barker. >> i have a pomeranian belongs to a friend named barbara walters. she will cover her face with one paw if you say peekaboo. it is adorable. it is like being bludgeoned. >> stephanie: she was lost one day and you had to run through the neighborhood yelling barbara walters. >> she used to run out the front door, rachel who lived in my house would go barbara walters no. no, barbara walters. barbara walters is a bad girl. no barbara walters. my neighbors thought i was in this weird threesome orb something. >> stephanie: if you read her autobiography, she's a bad girl. somebody needs to hit her with a newspaper at some point. >> on the nose. >> stephanie: or something. buddy in columbus you're on "the stephanie miller show." welcome. >> caller: hey mama.

>> stephanie: for god's sakes all right. >> caller: great jacki schechner poems. >> caller: mama. this birther stuff is so crazy because not only like the letters or the announcements in the papers the paper it says these -- came from the depth of health. -- from the department of health. someone would have had to get in a time machine, gone back and gone to two hospitals in hawaii, called the department of health and give them the phony obama announcement along with all of the original correct birth -- >> stephanie: don't you think a lot of the new wave of birtherrism is coming from sheer desperation? how they see the polls in the swing states. look at the guy in -- romney's chairing in arizona. he went through this, asked for proof. hawaii gave it.

[ wah wah ] hawaii gaves him the proof. then colorado, representative mike coffman said he was unsure then he apologized. i don't know what it is other than desperation. >> i think -- >> caller: i think it is also, it might be because he's a black man. >> stephanie: ya think? >> it is the other. it is the strategy of the other. so you don't expect this to win but you hope it's 2% in the 10% edge you're trying to get. and they're doing it. like i said, the other part of it is that they know he won't be palling around with millionaires right now and wall street. he can't be seen. >> stephanie: mike coughman is my favorite from colorado. he said he apologized. he said he's not american in his heart. >> what? >> he's an other. >> caller: socialist communist. >> stephanie: exactly. let's go to jodie in chicago.

hi, you're on with hal. hi jodie. >> caller: i researched this a few years ago just because i couldn't figure out why anybody would even argue if one of your parents is an american citizen, doesn't matter where you're born, you're an american citizen. the problem is that his mother in 1961 was not quite 20 when she had him and the age for majority was 21 and if you were not 21 when you had a child your child was not automatically a u.s. citizen if they were born outside of the united states. so that's the only thing they have. nowadays, it was today. it would make a difference. and that's their argument. it is so stupid. they have to try to prove he's born in some other country and it is insanity. i wonder how old mitt romney's grandmother -- whatever, his dad's -- how old was he when they had his dad. i would be interested to know because i'm assuming possibly the law -- i don't know what year he was born, i didn't look

at that year. it is just -- i'm so sick of this. >> stephanie: jodie, i hate to say it but we're a part of their victory because we're talking about this nonsense. hawaii has said that is the birth certificate for the state of hawaii. this is authentic. >> basically, the arizona -- the secretary of state there was -- are you going to nullify every driver's license from everybody who lives in hawaii who has moved to your state because that's what you're going to have to do. if you don't believe the president's is legit, you can't think everybody's is legit and you've got 60,000 drivers going through your state that are vacationing and according to you, they're i.d.'d. >> stephanie: chris, you said something earlier. by the way is it going to be you have to be a landowner eventually to vote. mitt romney yesterday. >> i was thinking with one of these business owners who owns a couple of restaurants in town

and he said you know, i would like to change the constitution. i'm not sure i can do it, he said but i would like to have a provision in the constitution that in addition to the age of the president and the citizenship of the president and the birthplace of the president being set by the constitution, i would like it also to say that the president has to spend at least three years working in business before he can become president of the united states. >> stephanie: hmm. really? we would like to change -- i thought you were the one that was going to protect the constitution. you would like to change it to make sure the president should be a business owner? [ applause ] that would seem to narrow it down. >> that seems to be a bit of a test to be president. >> stephanie: hmm. interesting. he went on to say -- >> we need to have presidents who understand how this economy works. >> i think president obama understands how the economy works because it has been improving steadily since he took office. >> incredibly since he took office. for all of you straight up

market guys, the market should rule everything. when the president came into office, the market was at 6500. now it is at 12,000. i think the doubling of the market after the recession like after the dip we went through after the absolute -- hank paulson came out and looked like someone had just electrocuted him and thrown a bucket of water in his face and shaking and -- >> wasn't it a former business owner that was president when -- took a complete dump in the toilet? >> stephanie: i don't know. wiley coyote. they got out on this rickety bridge. they thought here's my record. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] governor of massachusetts. it is just like -- [ wah wah ] >> the other thing is -- [ explosion ] >> they want to run his record at bain when bain is the villain in the new batman movie? that's the name of the villain in the new batman movie just for

the record. >> stephanie: just fyi. all right. 17 minutes after the hour. we continue more hump days with hal as we continue on "the stephanie miller show." >> that happened and we all let it happen.

kill as many as we can... >>the story of the american born jihadist on the run for his life. an exclusive new interview only on "viewpoint with eliot spitzer."

♪ ♪ oh, my god ♪ ♪ becky, look at her butt ♪ ♪ it is so big ♪ she looks like a total prostitute ♪ >> i like big butts and i cannot lie ♪ ♪ baby got bad ♪ >> stephanie: look at that ass cam going wild. it is "the stephanie miller show." 23 minutes after the hour.

1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. hump days with sexy liberal hal sparks. look at this. so mitt romney just -- mitt romney. >> don't say that. i'm trying to stay awake. >> stephanie: the mitt mentum has reached a fever pitch. he has reached the nomination after winning texas yesterday. top of the hour. the new -- mitt's iphone app misspells america. i'm with mitt app for the iphone. >> amercia. >> stephanie: he's out of the gate with his sneakers tied together. maybe it is spelled like that because his dad was born in mexico. >> or maybe because it ends with c.i.a. >> or maybe because of his three years in france during the vietnam war. >> stephanie: we're just throwing this out. we don't know.

>> amercia! >> stephanie: lowell in oklahoma. hello, lowell. >> caller: sure, absolutely. hey, i have a question. i'm not one to denounce religion to go against anyone's belief but i have a problem understanding mormonism. and its core values. i do not understand how you could be radically against women and radically against people of color and call it a religion and i'm trying to get a little insight on that. >> i'll give you some. almost every religion on the planet feels that way about some group of people. let's start in the abrahamic traditions, judaism, christianity and islam all have an incredible history of

anti-woman -- they're all based on the same doctrine as far as women go. if anybody's not in your tribe is -- god's just waiting around to give you a little lift when you need to wipe them off the face of the earth. that's true of all three of them. [wheel of right wing hypocrites] >> stephanie: mitt romney refused to directly repeat donald trump's claim that the president was born in kenya. a candidate can't be responsible for everything that their supporter says. romney aggressively confronted robert jeff ris who claimed romney is not christian. and is part of a mormon cult. romney called on perry to denounce jefferis. >> it worked for him. maybe mitt romney learned a valuable lesson as far as republican voters go. they don't care.

get it through your head. there's nobody on the republican side, they're going to vote for scott walker. they don't care. they're going to vote for mitt romney. they don't care. all their principles, all of their freedom talk and small government baloney, they don't care! >> stephanie: speaking of morals, who said mitt romney's continued embrace of donald trump is complete lack of moral leadership. he's standing by as trump assails john mccain's courage in order to raise money for himself. mitt romney lacks the backbone to stand up to his charlatan like donald trump because he's so concerned about lining his pockets. what would that say about what kind of president he would be. who said that? [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> i'm going to go with fizz gig. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: that was a good guess but no. stephanie tutter.

>> she's very smart. >> stephanie: indeed she is. she's no fizz gig though. >> stephanie: that was obscure. [ applause ] >> i tried. gotta go back. >> stephanie: okay. peggy in bake ca -- in boca raton. >> caller: how are you? i wanted to talk to you about the birther movement. i happen to work in a call center where i talk to a lot of evangelical christians older people every day of the week and they are convinced -- one person told me per their pastor that barack obama was not born barack obama. this is why the birth certificate they don't believe is truthful because he went to kenya. that he disavowed the united states. he was 10 or 11 years old.

disavowed the united states and took a pledge with the muslims. >> stephanie: so in the words of the immortal ting tings, that's not his name. that's why they're all convinced this is a bunch of hocus-pocus. when people tell me this, i have a hard time controlling him. can you really believe that? >> the premise is based on a complete falsehood! you really can't argue with -- >> stephanie: that's not his name. they call him stacy. i'm sorry. i was just listening to the ting tings yesterday. i'm sorry. >> that would nullify moses existed as well. >> stephanie: it gets beyond crazy. oh. by the way, speaking of renouncing your citizenship iú gotta wheel of hypocrites next as we continue hump days with hal on "the stephanie miller show."

>> we're not through just yet, mr. vice president. >> they're swimming against the tides. (vo) brought to you by pradaxa.

[ nervous ] i hope no one recognizes us... you...you think these disguises will... no. [ male announcer ] salty. sweet. and impossible to resist.

on the next gavin newsom show: google's sergey brin and anne wojcicki give gavin a hands on look at google's glasses. >>that's facinating. jennifer granholm is politically direct on current tv. >>the dominoes are starting to fall. (vo) granholm is live in the war room. >> what should women be doing? >> electing women to office. (vo) she's a political

trailblazer. >>republicans of course didn't let facts get in the way of spin. >>do it, for america. ♪ there she goes ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." 34 minutes after the hour. hutch days with hal sparks continues. mittens yesterday on the campaign trail. >> we're not the enemy. some of these liberals say they like a strong economy. but then they act like they don't like business. i want our government to support small business. middle-size business, big business. i want jobs. i want government that's an ally of business, not an enemy of business. >> stephanie: mmm, mm-hmm. >> then you're voting for barack

obama i'm assuming. because business has done extraordinarily well under barack obama. >> stephanie: 2012, he's in! awesome. >> about $2.1 trillion just in the united states, maybe another trillion outside the country. >> stephanie: by the way -- >> sounds like mitt is going forward. >> stephanie: we welcome him. welcome aboard. >> unlike trump though, i think barack obama will probably disavow mitt romney's endorsement. >> stephanie: media has a good piece about he should drop more than birtherism. he's a crony capitalist. businessman who's made much of his wealth by utilizing the power of government. [ screaming ] for instance, one of the things in the piece, a history of avoiding the free market and getting in bed with the state. last year they wrote that trump became partners the city of, in to build a hotel in the '70s that involved a tax abatement that saved him tens of millions of dollars which is essential a

government subsidy. >> a little bit of a handout. >> i don't know anybody on welfare who's gotten $40 million from -- by the way, for a failed business -- >> stephanie: about four times or something. >> state lets him build a building tax-free and then it fails. he sells it at -- losing money on it technically but gaining money himself. no wonder he's in bed with mitt romney. that's what mitt romney did with companies. they're both bankrupt guys who gorge on the carcasses of -- buildings and other companies. >> stephanie: they're capitalist zombies. sue from rockville maryland, you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: guess who couldn't have been president if there is a constitutional amendment saying you have to have three years of business experience. ronald reagan.

>> ruh-roh. >> not to mention eisenhower. but since he's their patron saint. we have all became wifers. we're not birthers but we're wifers. we would like to see mitt romney's marriage certificates. we don't have any proof that he won't release his tax returns. >> stephanie: some say he has more than one. >> caller: exactly. tax return would show maybe that's why he has all of the houses. he has a wife installed each of them. all of those kids. the mormons are known for their secrets. >> exactly. >> stephanie: we can play the some say game too. >> i'm not a wifer per se but just saying we believe -- >> stephanie: frankly, if he has one wife -- i'm just saying. >> a lot of people think it sounds fishy and even though i don't want to sound ridiculous in the words of wolf blitzer but it is entirely possible that mitt romney has over 50 wives.

>> i just hope that the right wing hears this and sees what bull [ bleep ] this whole thing is. >> really? you think that will do it? >> stephanie: it will be on news busters later. socialist stephanie miller says mitt romney has 50 wives. >> we believe he only has one wife. but there is a lot out there. a lot of people are concerned that he comes from a polygamist line in the mormon church and he has a lot of republicans -- >> stephanie: canada nis chicago, when did you stop beating your husband? which husband was it? >> caller: certainly wouldn't be mitt romney. >> stephanie: go ahead. >> caller: so i know you talked about the hustler cartoon photo shop thing yesterday. but i saw a video and it was amazing. it was like christmas came early. glenn beck was talking on his radio show and she was going on first of all about i'm not going

to wait for the call from obama from the president apologizing. really? relax. >> stephanie: yes, because hustler, a big part of the obama white house -- the fact that there is something obscene in hustler and people are going oh my god. >> everyone's shocked and appalled. so they were talking about how this is going to be around forever and glen saying eventually she's going to have -- she went on for three or four minutes about how he completely understands how she feels because of all of the pictures of him crying. >> stephanie: oh. because he cries a lot and people take pictures of it. >> caller: it has been used against him. >> stephanie: right. make him look like an unhinged lunatic. [cuckoo clock] >> did you say po pornography and hustler clutch the pearl necklace? >> i said clutch the pearls.

>> you didn't say the necklace part. >> crayons and hammers. >> i made a joke for you. >> stephanie: subtlety not our strong suit here. [ laughter ] >> so everyone can see it from space. all jokes must be visible from space. [ laughter ] >> i can't. >> stephanie: marie in atlanta, you're on with hal sparks. hi marie. >> caller: hey, mama. i gotta tell you i gotta make sure i got this straight. so last republican president was a guy who had failed at business at least four times and proceeded to fail at governing the united states. >> stephanie: right. the largest surplice in history and leave us with the largest deficit, yes. >> caller: okay so now we have the republican candidate who says that there should be a business experience requirement and his business experience is going to combine with the same failed policies that drove us

into this ditch and that's going to equal success? have i got that right? >> yeah except you're missing one point. mitt romney was on the front lines of the failed policies and george bush was driving from the back. he agreed with the idea of it but mitt romney was -- if you're talking about an outsourcer in chief, mitt romney is your guy! i mean, if you want to talk about failed business policies -- >> stephanie: his ideas are bush on steroids. it is bush administration policies, only worse. mittens yesterday. >> that stimulus he put in place, it didn't help private sector jobs. it helped preserve government jobs. the one place we should have cut back was on government jobs. we have 145,000 more government workers into this president. let's send them home and put you back to work. >> stephanie: i sigh. it is an either/or. go home, firefighters, cops, teachers! go home. you're not real people. [ applause ] >> fixing bridges and roads and infrastructure and a smart grid

and all of the things that make us a country as opposed to a series of states frankenstitched together. >> stephanie: would you like to hear republican comedy? this is mitt romney. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] he was at a campaign stop in craig, colorado. he's an improviser. >> sure. off-the-cuff. extemporaneous. >> stephanie: his microphone batteries began to fizz out. he said i think the obama administration worked on it. [crickets chirping] >> stephanie: the saddest thing about the stories is -- >> the crowd laughed. >> stephanie: i'm losing sound again. these batteries were made by washington, d.c. bureaucrats, i can tell. later he picked up a microphone with better batteries there is a republican microphone there he quipped. you see, he's just like this. so fast. it just happened. there he is.

>> talk about putting together a joke. [ wah wah ] >> lighting it on fire so you can see it from space. >> first of all i won't say there aren't any accidents in a presidential campaign because that's certainly not true but there are very few. even the ones that you come across as accidents, little slips of the lip, little strange moments, those are actually largely fabricated. there are a lot of people working on a lot of these things. the strategy session where they're coming up with okay if your mic ever goes bad if you ever have a problem with the microphone, here's the game we're going to play. we'll get you one. here is your go-to gag. it will be great. mitt, i think that will be wonderful. >> stephanie: i think that's more manufacture louse than paul ryan's plan. it is a republican microphone. okay. >> seriously, what grown man since 1950 has used the word marvelous? >> government sees small business and big business as the

enemy. we're not the enemy. >> stephanie: oh, dear god. >> no, they don't. liberals haven't. we don't have a problem with business. we have a -- stephanie owns a business. >> right. >> stephanie: as sultry as it is. >> we have a problem with poisoning our rivers and streams. kind of having a problem with calling a business american when you've shipped all of the jobs oversea and you house the corporate headquarters in the cayman islands, i've got a problem with that. i've got a problem with us pretending multinational corporations have any stake in the viability of people's legal defense or environment or safety or health or happiness in the united states if they thought they could make a profit off the destruction of it which they absolutely could. i don't have a problem with business in the general eric. i have a problem with a german business, we'll set up an office in new york city and -- >> stephanie: or business the way bain practiced which was all for their benefit, not for the benefit -- honestly, it was incidental if the company

survived. that was -- that was not the point. the point was to make money for bain. >> hal sparks international does not destroy wetlands. >> stephanie: no, not one wetland has been destroyed in the making of these shows. >> did you see that one from outer space? >> did i. >> it was lit on fire. >> leave the subtlety at the door. james from illinois. >> dragon from planet x. >> stephanie: hi james. >> caller: hello, steph. >> stephanie: hi. >> caller: just following up on mitch's proposal to -- to amend the constitution to have the president's have at least three years of business experience. couple of notes. that would probably exclude a lot of the existing republican leadership as well. but it would also -- show that herman cain is a front-runner in that aspect. >> stephanie: sure. >> caller: how about this one --

>> stephanie: kentucky cheese still jump in the race? is it too late? >> caller: he did suspend his campaign. he didn't end it. so i guess he could jump back in. >> stephanie: oh, goody. we need a ball jump. i would vote for anyone who gives me a ball jump. >> that's just a bacteria soup. that's what that is. you don't want to go near a ball crawl. >> stephanie: more as we continue hump days with -- >> what? >> stephanie: hump days with hal. >> lick the balls. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: for a good time call now, 1-800-steph-12. look, i don't play 'bout my facial hair. but if i grow this out a little bit >> 46 minutes after the hour, right back on the "stephanie miller show."

look, i don't play 'bout my facial hair. but if i grow this out a little bit i look too much like an english country gent... naaah. a little this way and i feel like i'm from outer space. this and i feel like a viking... [ roars ] not my style, man. [ male announcer ] master your style... even trimming, a close shave and accurate edging... with the new gillette fusion proglide styler. every inch of hair needs to be on point. ♪ ♪

on the next gavin newsom show: google's sergey brin and anne wojcicki give gavin a hands on look at google's glasses. >>that's facinating.

♪ they call me hal ♪ ♪ they call me -- >> announcer: steffey. ♪ that's not my name ♪ ♪ that's not my name ♪ that's not my name ♪ ♪ they call me -- ♪ >> stephanie: it certainly is catchy. it is right. >> stephanie: 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. someone tweeted us we're not saying we're wifers. we don't -- we believe mitt romney only has one wife. >> but the story is out there he may have up to five weis. >> stephanie: someone tweeted how do you explain -- that explains why all of his kids are the same age. [ applause ] >> there is some evidence maybe out there. like -- >> stephanie: right. like on eight is enough. was that the show? all the kids -- they all lived at home until they were like 42. >> they were all the same age and then there was little

nicholas. >> stephanie: yeah. >> who may have been a neighbor's kid at that point. we don't know. >> stephanie: wandered in somehow. >> who are you? >> stephanie: i forgot to do the story. i was talking about -- came up about -- memorial day, all of this debate all the time about who's patriotic and who's american and blah, blah, and who supports the troops. why -- you know sheldon adelson this billionaire who single-handedly financed newt gingrich and will probably -- he was just meeting with mitt romney yesterday. did you hear that clip where he said i unfortunately wore the american uniform. i wish it had been the israeli army uniform? >> well then, you know what? become an israeli citizen. >> stephanie: i wore the uniform unfortunately. can you imagine if a liberal said something like that? he's a hard core right-winger. that's kind of dangerous. and now -- now he's getting into the romney camp.

that's kind of scary. >> the problem that they really do run into is the mormonism is a big factor for adelson. it is going to be hard for him to stomach. he will probably do it because he will think long-term there's some sort of pro-israel stance. it makes romney malleable. >> stephanie: let's go to -- >> as a marionette, you have multiple groups pulling the strings. there will be a snap at one point. that might be adelson's concern. >> stephanie: keith in milwaukee. you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: could mitt afford another ann romney? >> stephanie: oh probably not >> good point. >> stephanie: that shoots our whole wifer theory there. >> the rest could live in a compound in utah. [ wah wah ] >> like the sister wives show. >> they may be kept sequestered. >> we don't believe that.

but some people are saying that. >> stephanie: no dressage horses for you! >> story is out there. we're just saying. >> we're reporting on it. >> stephanie: you decide. hi, john in florida. >> caller: hello, stephanie. how are you? >> stephanie: go ahead. >> caller: i have a couple of items to talk about. dick cheney is going to have a big fund-raiser in wyoming at his home. >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: that's going to be a real good one there. then romney talking about these nascar -- he knows a lot of the nascar owners. like the people to note the money that they're giving to the pentagon for armed forces and everything, all of that money is going to the nascar owners. that's why when you watch these races on tv, you see national guard, you see army. navy, air force. all of these sports, they're giving that money to all of the sports. we're paying for it. all of our tax money is going on

all of the sports. >> yeah, there is a definite ad campaign they target the nascar viewers because they tend to be demographically speaking, exactly who they target for military service so that's not surprising. they also do it on saturday morning cartoons and video games. but you're right in that there's money to be had there. but it is not surprising. they'll do it across the board. regardless. >> stephanie: we were talking about the birtherism. >> wifers. >> stephanie: no, we're not. >> we're not wifers. >> stephanie: "the stephanie miller show," we're not wifers. we believe -- >> wifers exist. >> stephanie: mitt romney says he only has one wife we take him at his word. >> fill out the forms like everybody else. >> just have to see the marriage certificate. >> stephanie: stop the tape. did you say -- plural? >> the story is out there. >> if there are multiple marriage certificates, shouldn't we see them? if there is only one --

>> stephanie: what's not great about this whole sentence here? world net daily corresponded in leading birther jerome kersey appeared on alex jones radio show via skype from hawaii where he's working with the cold case posse organized by arizona sheriff joe arpaio to investigate barack obama's birth certificate. just that whole mishmash of world net daily birther joe arpaio, jones radio show. of course, he explained he was desperately working on the stories because if obama wins, we won't have a fourth amendment, won't have a bill of rights. we'll be in education camps if they allow us to live. our family will be destroyed. private property will become confiscated. all of the plans are signed in executive orders. so that is -- apparently obama has already signed all of the orders. [ applause ] >> that's amazing.

>> stephanie: of course, he told jones he had uncovered tons of news. >> why hasn't he released the news. >> stephanie: if he was dying to get published. >> why hasn't he published it? >> stephanie: wait a minute. there will be an extra dollop of conspiracy theory, conspiracy lasagna. he urged him to get the information out, don't let them bright bart you. claiming that andrew bright bart was -- >> really? >> stephanie: because of his knowledge of the obama administration. >> really? >> stephanie: that was that whole conversation you missed. >> you know what? taxpayers of arizona are paying for that search. >> stephanie: yes, indeed. >> how do you like that, arizona? >> stephanie: that was just a whole dollop. >> compare that to your crowded classrooms and your bad roads.

>> having to mortgage the state capitol building. >> stephanie: cliff in virginia. hi, cliff, welcome. >> caller: how are you doing today, steph? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: are the republicans engaging in short-term gains or eventually long-term pain? they've basically declared war on minorities when the gay community, pretty much anybody that is an evolved human being with all of these antics, with the voter suppression, the war on women opposing same-sex marriage and they have to see this demographic number that people of color people of younger population are trending toward the more progressive mindset. are we seeing the end of conservatism as we know it? >> stephanie: that's why they have to purge voters because they're out of idea. david bender, right-wing world coming up on "the stephanie miller show." governor tomorrow night.

she is awesome. we'll be right back on the "stephanie miller show." [ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> stephanie: oh! why hello current tv fans. here we are. sexy liberal hal sparks getting ready for hour number three of the big show. >> oh, yes. >> stephanie: you're too sexy. we have david bender coming up, political strategist extraordinaire to talk about the mitt mentum and right-wing world and celebrity stack. if it can get any more unbearable hal sparks, introduce jacki schechner as prince. please. >> jacki schechner.

>> that's supposed to be prince? >> well, his multiple levels. >> okay. >> stephanie: we're sorry. >> does it come with a decoder ring? >> it does. >> stephanie: nobody stepped on a poodle. it is our queue that it is time for jacki schechner in the current news center. here she is. >> good morning, everybody. abc is reporting this morning that the obama campaign is shifting its assault on mitt romney spending less time on his experience with bain capital now and more on his time as governor of massachusetts. the attacks are set to start this week and will point to romney's stance on everything from job creation to education size of government, deficit and taxes, comparing his 2002 stance to his time now. the goal was to show that romney has made the same promises before with little results. for example, romney said he could write the economy after the tech bauble in 2002 but massachusetts ended up 47th out of 50th for job creation. romney has become the official

g.o.p. nominee today. planned parenthood fund is launching a new campaign calling romney out of touch and wrong for women. >> when mitt romney says -- >> planned parenthood, going to get rid of that. >> he will deny women the birth control and cancer screenings they depend on. >> while romney is saying he would stop federal funding for planned parenthood, not eliminate the organization itself because he can't do that. the action fund is spending $1.4 million to run the ad in florida, iowa and northern virginia and d.c. also today planned parenthood endorsed president obama. opponents to same-sex marriage which is legal in maryland have turned in twice the number of signatures needed in order to put the issue on the ballot in november. the maryland marriage alliance is leading the effort to overturn the law and they say that president obama's support for same-sex marriage has not only enthused supporters but galvanized opponents. if the law comes to a referendum in november, most recent polls show the issue is too close to

call. join us in chat. current.com/stephaniemiller. we'll see you there.

it's go time. >>every weeknight cenk uygur calls out the mainstream media. >>the guys in the middle class the guys in the lower end got screwed again. >>i think you know which one we're talking about. the overwhelming majority of the country says"tax the rich, don't go to war."

>>just wanted to clarify that. ♪ katrina and the waves ♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. six minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. stephaniemiller.com the web site. executive producer chris lavoie, e-mail him. jim ward is on assignment today. >> doing motion capture for a video game.

wearing a rubber suit with ping-pong balls on it. >> stephanie: we're going to try to get a picture. sexy liberal hal sparks live in studio. [ applause ] >> mama, where is the -- i'm too sexy to vote republican cap. >> it is on sexyliberal.com under merch. you can buy volume one as well. the physical cd right there. it is available to download. you can hear -- well, hal sparks -- thank you. on tv is modeling the album. >> you would make a great hand model. you have a face for hand modeling. >> stephanie: we might have avoided zombie face eating had you listened to hal sparks bath salts at the sexy liberal show. >> i warned you. you're next. >> stephanie: smoking or snorting bath salts. >> stay in the truck. you're next. >> stephanie: exactly.

p.s., come into father tommy's confessional and i can pray the gay out of you and we can live happily ever after. [ applause ] this pastor, the anti-gay pastor in north carolina, there was a big protest yesterday. about 2,000 protestors demonstrated the north carolina pastor who gave the disturbing anti-gay sermon in which he suggested rounding up all of the queers and home me sexuals and quarantining them inside the electric fence. >> i figured a way to get rid of all lesbians and queers. build a great big large fence. put all the lesbians in it. ♪ there is a lot of work to be done ♪ >> do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals. ♪ and we'll still have to feed everyone ♪ ♪ we're going to lock all of you

electric, make the fences higher ♪ ♪ fences 100 miles long. ♪ we're going to trap all of you with electric fences, too it's all here in our flier ♪ >> great, big large fence. and have that fence electrified so they can't get out. >> you know, i just recognized like how many gay people he thinks there are. 150 miles long. >> that would be the circumference. >> if you're penning them in, it would have to be a circle. >> stephanie: that's more food aid than we give north korea. some lesbians are good eaters. >> he think he's outnumbered in the world. >> stephanie: kids the mitt mentum, has reached fever pitch. ♪ return to sender ♪ >> stephanie: david bender, our pal! ♪ return to sender ♪ >> it means a lot doesn't it, bender.

♪ return to bender ♪ >> stephanie: i can barely contain myself. good morning. >> jim ward! someone ate his face. >> stephanie: he's having a face transplant and getting nicolas cage's face attached. >> it is a cover-up! just like the birther thing. you're making this stuff up. you can't keep this a secret. eventually jim ward's face will be found. >> jim is actually the motion capture is for baby films of barack obama. jim is actually playing -- >> stephanie: what are the chances. the conspirist theorist, jim ward happens to mysteriously be missing today. >> next week new video of the moon landing. >> narrated by christopher lloyd. >> stephanie: david bender wowee, mitt romney. [crickets chirping] >> there's something you can light on fire and see from space

here's the problem -- >> stephanie: it was buried under a mountain of bad hair and birtherisms. >> it will continue to be. there is no spontaneity to mitt. everything is poll-tested and focus-grouped to death which is why if you take every position on every side, you never really do tell a lie because the truth is whatever you need it to be at any given moment so the problem is not whether people are ever going to grow to like mitt. this isn't going to be about that. it will be about how much they can be told that they don't like barack obama. that's what the campaign is going to be about. the reason why -- what we're really looking at now is the laboratory tests. hal, you said wasserman schultz was in wisconsin yesterday.

laboratory experiment. it is the scott brown of this cycle. and all the money that is pouring in from around the country, the koch brothers, our good israeli friend, adelson all putting money into this race, they're using this to test how destructive they can be to democratic efforts around the country. if this works, if they can prove that ending collective bargaining is a winning strategy, they're going to take that national. that's going to be mitt romney's solution to why obama has ruined the economy. it is because he's helped workers. that's going to be -- that's why this election is so important. a week from today. and i gotta just -- shout out to people who are anywhere near wisconsin and particularly if you're in wisconsin do everything you can! what is it? united wisconsin.com. >> stephanie: yeah. >> we've got one week.

>> stephanie: by the way, here's -- god forbid we lose that, julie has sent us a walker is going to jail fun fact. he's already in for a few hundred thousand for his criminal defense fund. now another 100k. that's some serious money. sounds like indictment money to me. how hilarious would that be. he squeaks by and wins the election then he coasts to jail -- then he goes to jail. >> this is what's funny about that, steph. in fact, where that money is coming from, he has a legal defense fund but is all coming from campaign contributions. under the law, he has to go to the donors so someone, a koch brother has written a check for the recall campaign. he's gotta call him up and say if he turns out to be the real david koch and say can i use this money for my legal defense. they have to get the approval of the donor. he's been making those calls. >> stephanie: by the way david, did i hear a fact yesterday that mitt romney as we know, 47th in job creation when he was governor of

massachusetts. the other three states hit by hurricane katrina. scott walker is 50th. isn't he dead last in job creation? >> i can't speak to that. i'll look up the numbers. i'll tell you something. one of the things we know is he has not been focusing on job creation. he's been focusing on saving his hiney. that's all he has done for the last 18 months. he's actually an incredibly effective candidate. he's a terrible governor. you'll hear this from people who are his critics. this is what makes this such an important election. these tactics have to be beaten back. >> stephanie: what's happening on a larger scale nationally would you say with the tea party because in texas where mitt romney effectively clinched the nomination yesterday, the senate race is the most expensive in this election cycle. some $25 million has been spent on behalf candidates looking to replace kay bailey hutchison. you have a tea party guy and an establishment guy. there is going to be a prunoff.

>> the runoff is in july. here's what's so interesting about this. guy cruise is backed with sarah palin. perry is backed by dewhurst. >> stephanie: both of those brain trusts together. this is what's happening. what they did to richard lugar they are -- we've gotta say a little thank you to the tea party. because it looked almost absolutely like the democrats were going to lose the senate this year. there were twice as many democratic seats up but the republicans are far eating their own faces devouring their own. if this guy ted cruise should be an upset winner in texas, he could lose statewide. even in texas. that's likely to happen.

indiana is now in play in the senate. that republican candidate could lose statewide. >> stephanie: what do you make -- obama ahead in the swing states right now which i know it is early but he's looking good, right? >> if the election were held today. i'm worried about the electrified fences. what just happened. the president and you know hal interested to know how people are reacting to it. the president put that 2% or 3% of swing votes in play, in places like north carolina and florida and virginia and indiana, all states he carried. by supporting same-sex marriage. and that is a big -- he did the right thing for the country and for history. are those states in play now? is ohio in play? does that help or hurt?

we're going to find out. >> stephanie: my favorite thing about the polling is people don't care. which is what -- what you hope for in real progress. >> it depends on who shows up. in a 2010 style election, it would hurt him. in a presidential election where the youth vote comes out and the general vote is much higher, it helps him. if the polling is any indication and the thing is -- i guess the thing to track is the fact that it didn't make his poll numbers dip significantly with any major group. they're already well ahead. >> stephanie: david, i feel like it is pretty astonishing in polling history what's happened with african-americans and how quickly those numbers have started shifting since the president's announcement. >> they have. and it is getting better. day by day. i want to be -- >> stephanie: are you going to sing a song? do it! day by day. >> you can be leaving on a jet

plane. >> stephanie: that's the only song i can play on guitar. thank you for bringing it up. david bender, we've gotta break. we'll check in with you as this rolls along. on this really exciting day. >> wisconsin, wisconsin. on wisconsin. that's what we need. >> stephanie: yeah, they have put the [ bleep ] honey badgers. talk to you soon. love you too. 18 minutes after the hour. looky here, another unsolicited testimonial from carbonite. it is from hunter in chicago. steph, carbonite, the number one ingredient for rebuilding civilization after the zombie apocalypse. [ applause ] we try to rebuild. where will we find all of ourselves? >> carbonite. >> using manual methods to back up business files, it takes time, it is risky. there is a better way. do it automatically online with carbonite. >> zombies can't reach the cloud. >> stephanie: exactly. >> just saying. >> stephanie: set carbonite up

once and all of the files will be backed up continually when you're connected to the internet. if you have to leave the house quickly because of incoming zombies, it is just -- >> people throwing their intestines at you. >> stephanie: carbonite is already there. you have a little green dot. everything is backed up. plans start at $59 for the entire year. i use carbonite to back up everything on my computer. you should do it too. don't wait. because you never know. you know what i'm saying? in the zombie apocalypse. use offer code stephanie. you get two bonus months with purchase. that's carbonite.com. enter the promo code stephanie. 19 minutes after the hour. more hump days with hal sparks on "the stephanie miller show." >> can you positively guarantee it will give me an orgasm? >> yeah! >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show."

>> we're not through just yet, mr. vice president. >> they're swimming against the tides.

♪ i'm super bad ♪ >> stephanie miller. ♪ i'm super bad ♪ >> stephanie: it is the -- >> ow! >> stephanie: last sound you hear before you see a naked face-eating zombie. >> in the recording studio while they were making that the flesh eating zombie did come in. hopefully the horn section was able to take them out. >> the original conga player in james brown's band. >> stephanie: hal knows all of that stuff. cliff in miami with an update.

according to this morning's "miami herald," the face eating naked zombie was last seen on south beach. there you go. on friday night attending the wild memorial day hip-hop weekend party where his car was towed for illegal parking. >> he went to a hip-hop barbecue. >> but there's no direct linkage between going to a barbecue and chewing someone's face off. >> stephanie: there will be an obama connection. president obama had barbecue. >> some people calling him the hip-hop -- >> stephanie: naked face eating be legal? >> obama proface eating. >> stephanie: how eugene ended up on the causeway is a mystery. he was passed by a biker who said eugene grabbed toward him and spun around in circles so he -- being on a bike is a good way to escape a flesh eating

zombie. thank god i'm a bicyclist. eugene -- >> you're a spinner. you're in spinning. stationary bike trying to get away from the zombie who would get caught on the treadmill. get caught on the treadmill at the gym. >> stephanie: plus you're clipped in on the spinning bike so you're screwed. spin as fast as you want you're not getting away. he apparently came upon a homeless man sleeping underneath an elevated train track. the victim. eugene attacked -- stripped and ate the victim's face. there was no known relationship between the two men. >> it kind of makes it scary. >> stephanie: earlier when you say there was two naked men, you think that they might have known each other. >> it might have gone badly. >> regular relationships. all have ups and downs. >> hip-hop party on south beach and his car was towed which made me think he was walking home from -- >> stephanie: the relationship thing --

>> and smoking bath salts on the way. >> stephanie: sure. >> kind of scary. >> stephanie: we thought it was a relationship thing. the important thing is did he defriend him? he didn't. >> it is complicated. >> stephanie: it is a bad night. we were naked on the off-ramp. i ate your face but listen -- remember that time when you -- you know what i'm saying? that's how it goes. >> the status of it's complicated opens it to up to so much. >> stephanie: craig in boca raton near south beach sort of. >> caller: originally from -- i have a connection with you in some remote way. >> stephanie: up the transit. go ahead. >> caller: hey and i'm going to tell you something. in boca raton, we have so much money we smoke organic bath salts. >> stephanie: good for you. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> stephanie: mmm lavender.

>> caller: love watching your show because i cannot believe how many sleepwalking floridians we have when you're talking about like rick scott. when you talk about someone who is a private sector person that is in government and you look at how he is destroying this beautiful state we have here. >> stephanie: private sector person you mean was behind the biggest medicare scam in history and somehow ended up as governor and went to jail? >> he made money for himself and nobody cares how he made it. the big republican thing. they're for a total free market including theft. they're protheft. >> stephanie: he's purging the voter rules. >> did you see what he did with -- he had to file for unemployment. the department of labor is saying you're insane. the guy is crazy. >> what do you have to do when you file for -- >> you have to answer 45 questions. you can only do it via computer. it is stuff like that.

>> stephanie: he didn't have any problem taking any of that government money when he was scamming medicare, did he? >> no. >> yeah. hey, since jim's not there. can i do an impression? >> stephanie: sure. very quickly. >> caller: this is my impression of floyd the barber after pastor worley's service talking to andy. >> ooh, andy, i think we have to worry about this pastor worley. gomer is gay. >> stephanie: that was very good. [ applause ] >> you gotta start somewhere. >> preferably not on national radio. >> simmer down. jim, come home. >> stephanie: okay. 29 minutes after the hour. right back with right-wing world on "the stephanie miller show." >> don't listen to them.

>> the most talented beautiful, sexy woman ever. >> stephanie: 34 minutes after the hour. >> not at 4:00 in the morning! >> stephanie: no! >> tell hal you can pick on him dancing when he gets over the surprise face. >> i'm dancing funny on purpose. >> he's a comedian. >> i'm intending to get laughter from the dancing. when i really dance that's not what i look like. you know that perfectly well. >> stephanie: third hour brought to you by sherwin williams. make the most of your color with the best paint. ask sherwin williams.

>> i have a lot of questions for sherwin. >> stephanie: all right. >> do you know sherwin on a first-name basis? >> we go way back to trying to figure out what color my bathroom should be. >> stephanie: president george w. bush and herbert hoover. case closed. let's dive into the right-wing world. shall we? [ ♪ circus ♪ ] mike huckabee on his little radio show about birtherism. >> cnn just would not let go. this whole thing about donald trump doing an event tonight in vegas for mitt romney and i mean every three minutes, the anchors were breathlessly talking about how could mitt romney be on the same stage with donald trump who had raised the question a year ago about obama's birth certificate? and we can start with reverend jeremiah wright. if that's where they want to go, this stuff is never going to

end. >> stephanie: see what he did there? >> mike huckabee. it was not every three minutes. they were reporting -- >> stephanie: it was yesterday. he wasn't bringing it up a year ago. >> mike huckabee. >> jiminy christmas. >> huckster at it again. >> governor romney has a very good chance to unseat president obama because the economy is bad and the president is governing at least domestically as a far left guy. america is a centrist country so romney has two big advantages but he must, must bring the challenge right to the president very personal ways. >> stephanie: did you hear bill mahers rant -- he's so far left, how come i'm not happy. the whole far left thing is such a crock. it really is. >> again, it is part of a -- like 10-point strategy of differentism. birther is part of that.

it appeals to a certain group. the anti-israel idea, the bad for business. that he's anti-american or he doesn't love america or he doesn't believe in american exceptionalism. 80% of preme don't believe that but the 10% who do get on board then the 10% who believe he is anti-business, they get on board with the birther crowd and you stack up a margin in certain states of crazy people that they can guarantee go to the polls. that's what this is all about. it is a strategy about like just corralling this cat herd of psychopaths who believe you know 10% -- >> stephanie: republican psychopaths. >> 10% of the story. that's all you need. >> stephanie: stuart barney on hannity. >> i think the president is digging himself a hole with the claim he is not a big spender. that's an indefensible claim. it is fuzzy math. it has been exposed by using accounting tricks to work their numbers. >> stephanie: no. pretty straightforward. >> pretty direct actually.

>> better than bush did. >> nobody on fox can start screaming about fuzzy math when a, they do what they do with polls and b, their graphics half the time have the wrong numbers. they'll have 100% like -- 30% of people believe this and 30% believe this and 50% believe this. 100% of people -- >> stephanie: all right. rush limbaugh. >> i have created more jobs than obama and romney put together. damn right. and for a longer period, for 23 years. i have a greater record of job creation than romney or obama. and in the process of creating all of those jobs, i still have mine. >> stephanie: so we have the one fictional producer who absolutely -- [ applause ] >> um, okay. here's a group of people that he's never actually -- >> stephanie: i've heard the rant. no. still -- >> every a.m. station that is

still in existence today, he says he's responsible for the jobs. >> for all of radio, he's responsible for all of it. it would be gone if it weren't for him. >> okay. well, you know, he will need to believe that as his advertisers dwindle and his influence -- he's now -- he really is the a.m. radio version of donald trump at this point. the two of them are basically the same. >> stephanie: keith the fox -- pop psychologist on the mike huckabee show. >> it is dispeterring to have women come home in body bags, 15 50, how many ever women they were mentioned. 50,000 american women in body bags, some of them pregnant. are we ready for that? that's preposterous. this is narcissism at its height because some women feel they would like to tote guns to the front lines, they're going to shoot holes in our culture. >> it is narcissism for women to

want to serve their country and it -- >> it will result in because women i guess in this guy's estimation are inferior at war and will die in larger numbers 50,000 women are going to come home in body bags because they're not capable of serving? >> stephanie: what moron thinks like what an eight-month pregnant woman will be on the front lines? you're an idiot. >> fox news pays this guy to spout facts. >> stephanie: brit hume. >> democrats won't say they don't like capitalism but they like it better when it is heavily tax and regulated better to keep it from exploiting workers and spoiling thate. that's why the top 10% pay 70% of the income taxes in this country and why we have a large entitlement state to redistribute the wealth. that's why we have a regulatory growing apparatus. >> actually, we don't. >> regulation is added under this president.

>> stephanie: wow. okay. okay. all right. thanks to people like scott brown, they kind of took a piece out of that -- out of dodd frank. >> in an effort to i guess build a bridge, i do agree with him on one point. as a democrat i do favor business that is fairly taxed and does not spoil thate. that would be a good idea. because here's the thing. i don't know why exxon mobil or a huge corporation can get away with wiping out people either being tied to militia groups in foreign countries that are killing villagers so they can run a pipeline, those kind of things. if i opened a coffee shop and i said to be profitable, i have to shoot three people a year. it is just going to be -- i can't make money unless i shoot three people a year. the people -- >> do you want your latte or not? >> the people at fox would say -- are you ready for a $9 latte?

he has to shoot three people. you want a $3 latte? >> caller: hi, everybody. >> stephanie: lee, go ahead. >> caller: okay. you know, mitt romney, george bush, the businessman were responsible for outsourcing greater number of jobs in the history of america. now what they want to do seems like to me is outsource the american government. they come in. they're going to fire everybody. these jobs still have to be done. what are they going to do? bring in workers or hire people at minimum wage to do jobs they should be paying more. who will be able to afford the products coming in from overseas if you kill the middle class? >> stephanie: lee, we've said it. that's what henry ford's idea was, pay your workers enough so they can buy your product.

everybody wins. >> keep in mind also these are people who look at the history of this country and go well, the white house was built with slave labor. and it is a lovely structure. >> stephanie: dan in columbus, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi dan. >> caller: hey, steph, really great to have you guys back on in columbus. >> stephanie: come to sexy liberal, august 18th. sexy liberal. >> caller: i will be there. if romney gets his wish to amend the constitution so you have to have three years of business experience, i was sitting here thinking that would have eliminated dwight eisenhower from the presidency. >> stephanie: yeah. >> caller: when i was a kid -- i'm 52. clam howard taft was -- william howard taft was a career politician. that would have eliminated him from the white house. >> stephanie: right. >> caller: i'm just trying to figure out -- >> someone else said earlier ronald reagan. >> caller: ronald reagan, yes. an actor.

>> then a career politician. >> caller: exactly. >> stephanie: we would still have herbert hoover and george w. bush. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: how much better off would we be? >> this abstract that all business is good business. if you're going to accuse liberals and democrats of being super anti-business, then stop at the same time being pro any business whatsoever. like you know, at a certain point -- >> probath salts. >> if people want to sell them and -- wear a mask if you're worried. know what i mean? mask making business. >> stephanie: john in texas. >> zombie helmets. >> stephanie: zombie face mask. that's a business. hi john. >> caller: good morning, stephanie. >> stephanie: good morning. >> caller: how are you doing? >> stephanie: good, go ahead. >> caller: first, i'm a proud liberal from tennessee.

the thing is this attack on obama being anti-business and anti-investment when this guy has done more for the financial sector than any president in my lifetime as far as the stock market going up. but anyway, what i wanted to do is i'm a working class guy and i think -- i'm going to go with a bain capital business model for the little guy. what i'm going to do is take my four credit cards, max them out flat screens everything. file bankruptcy and then get four more credit cards and do it again. >> stephanie: there you go. exactly. >> you could actually be donald trump on a lower scale. >> stephanie: there you go. all right. >> but you also have to use your credit cards to open a business that fails when every other

version of the business in the area is doing well. so you know, in his case he opened a casino which always makes money and didn't. so you've gotta find a way if you're -- >> stephanie: he found a way to create the only casino where the house loses. [ wah wah ] back with the remaining moments hump days with hal sparks on "the stephanie miller show." >> it is really weird but it's also the coolest thing i've heard in my whole life. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show." right back on the "stephanie miller show."

kill as many as we can... >>the story of the american born jihadist on the run for his life. an exclusive new interview only on "viewpoint with eliot spitzer." ♪ american woman, stay away from me ♪ ♪ american woman ♪

>> stephanie miller. ♪ let me be ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 51 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number to join the part. halsparks.com. the hal sparks web site. on the road with his band zero one. >> you can follow him on twitter, too. >> it is the zero one nation on twitter. you can follow me at hal sparks and you'll get all of the info and entertainment, throughout to be had and you can join the hump chat. >> stephanie: hello, doll. >> every wednesday. >> stephanie: you can see live with mama at sexy liberal.com. we've got los angeles in july. columbus in august. we've got the seattle in september and then -- [ applause ] >> when? >> stephanie: joe in tucson. >> what? >> i don't even know this. >> stephanie: hello joe. >> caller: hey, this is our second time talking stephanie. i'm hoping i can make it to first base.

what do somali pirates, barack obama and radical right wing douche bags all have in common? >> caller: president obama makes all of their heads explode. >> did he have to hammer that with crayons? >> that was well-crafted. >> stephanie: homemade joke. jill in ithaca on hal sparks prophetic bath salts comedy routine. >> caller: congratulations, hal. i was there and i remember clearly -- that was the sexiest reading of an article i ever saw or heard. >> stephanie: he read the article about the phenomenon of people snorting and smoking bath salts that face eating zombie did in miami. >> caller: i kept hearing about the zombie apocalypse but i didn't know it would be all of the vice presidential runners up. >> the veeps for the republicans. all got a vaguely skeletorry

skin hue. >> stephanie: snowy in michigan. >> caller: how you doing? >> official truck driving geek. >> stephanie: i think i'll name my next great peerny snowy. >> that poor victim of the face-eating guy. is he now disqualified to be on facebook now? >> stephanie: i see what you did. everybody with the jokes. >> that's awful. >> stephanie: meat in madison you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: how do i get into this gay thing? we have a pastor down here somewhere what wants to give away a 150 mile radius piece of land and put all of the gays lesbians and queers in there. you're a woman, you can't do math. >> stephanie: math is hard. >> that's 128 feet on a side plot of land for each of the roughly 30 million alternative lifestyle people in our country.

i mean go for it. i don't have a lot that big. just think how nice the lots would look. with all of the tending. >> stephanie: all right, marty. >> stephanie: tending and things. >> everybody would want to move in. >> stephanie: speaking of wisconsin, have you heard the latest dirty trick? if you're winning why do you have to do dirty tricks. >> anyone with any sense would want to live on the gay side of the electric fence away from the pastor. anybody would. gay or straight. it would be the real estate move. keep your value high. >> stephanie: nondouche side. one week before wisconsin votes on whether or not to recall scott walker, a conservative group has engaged in dirty tricks that shut down the democratic challenger's campaign phones. a spam text that barrett is a union puppet. call and ask why.

it is the number for tom barrett's campaign headquarters. it shut down the phones just seven days before election day. they're trying to do the get out the vote efforts. nice try! [booing] >> stephanie: dirty tricksters. >> again, each one of these things is about chipping away. we get a .5% gain on this one activity and a .7% gain on another, they're going to start stacking all of these things. that's what the trump birtherism is about. this is what the -- pal around with marco rubio to take the edge off. mitt romney doing this olive branch to the black community last week. had nothing to do -- because his policies are still going to negatively affect the black community disproportionately. it was meant for middle of the road white voters who go see he's not a racist. he doesn't believe the racist policies. he's doing an outreach even though it is completely fabricated. isn't going to lead to any benefits at all for anybody

involved. >> according to politico, here is the next thing they're trying. solyndra is worse than bain. hmm. >> he's admitting bain is bad. that's what it sounds like. >> stephanie: they're giving solyndra a try on the campaign trail, unveiling ads -- boy, oh boy. obama campaign spokesmen, ben labolt said the president is happy to debate energy policy with romney. mitt romney has made abundantly clear is he would send jobs to china. he's been attacking investments in clean energy while other countries are racing to capitalize on that market. house republicans did this whole investigation that didn't unearth any evidence that there was a core you want quid pro quo that helped the company land -- this started under the bush administration. >> the other thing too is new technology investment over time apple, microsoft, every company has major r&d outputs that go nowhere because you're trying to find the best one.

>> stephanie: i was just going to say the energy department, according to this article has stressed the program is aimed at fostering high-risk ventures that could advance green energy even if not all of the projects would succeed. it is just -- to me, it is not at all analogous to what bain did as a rule. >> what bain did was evil. >> stephanie: so they return to solyndra in april with an ad mocking obama with spending money on green projects in foreign countries but it included points that basically lies is the point i'm making. for example, the ad complained sun power was building a solar plant in mexico even though the loan guarantee was for a different project in california. it helps when you're willing to lie. [ applause ] >> these are people who ridiculed the train from vegas to irvine to disneyland down here in california. and it actually turns out that the plan was so -- was so i

guess profitable that a chinese investment firm has moved in. they're going to build it. it will be built on american soil with chinese investment money because they know it is going to make money over the long-term. >> stephanie: one quick celebrity stack before we go. justin bieber is wanted for questioning by los angeles county sheriff's investigator. he complained of being roughed up by the pop star. >> this is my favorite part. >> stephanie: he's justin bieber. i think right away -- he would be -- >> the guy was complaining of chest pains when he went to the hospital. he didn't have a fat lip or anything. i think getting your ass kicked by justin bieber would -- >> stephanie: is he trying to look like rachel maddow? is he trying that hard? seriously. i don't understand it. hal sparks.com for all things. we'll see you tomorrow on "the stephanie miller show."