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>> recently new york times columnist tom freeman at the california economic summit covered broad range of topics, including how to live not connected, but in a hyper connected world and what needs to be done to get america's economy back on track. i started by asking describe this fundamental thing, what

world are we living in? >> what world are we living in? well, the world has just in the last seven, eight years, gone from connected to hyper connected and my view is that this is changing everything. it is the biggest thing in the world affecting more other things, because it affects education, the workplace, and how we interact. in my own lingo, we've gone from flat world 1.0 to not world 2.0 but it's all been disguised by 9/11. i call this world from connected to hyper connected the great inflection, because it's a huge inflection. i believe it's the biggest inflection point over the last decade, this whole flattening process since the invention of the printing press, only when

the printing press was invented. we adjust justed over decades and centuries. we're having to adjust to the hyper connecting of the world in a period of years. so what do i think we need in the next president? three things, first and foremost, a plan to deal with these things at the real scale of the problem. at the real scale of the problem. for me, don't tell me that we're going to get all the money from warren buffet and his pals, ok because we're not. don't tell me that we're going to get out of this problem and 97% have americans won't have to pay a dime. if you tell me that, you've lost my attention. it doesn't mean to me that you have a problem, you have a solution to the problem, have the sail of the problem. that's the first thing we need. we do need a plan that is fair. ok, the rich have done very well

over the last few decades. i count myself as very fortunate. the wealthy have to pay more everybody has to pay something. we are all in this together. ok? we all have to be in this together. and lastly, i think we need a plan that is aspirational, that isn't just about balancing the budget. it's about making the country great again, insuring that we will pass on the american dream. i'm not a tax day guy, i'm a fourth of july guy. we want something that gets people out of their chair to sacrifice. lastly, we need a vision, and i'll end here. we need a vision of where we're going, so i think the vision for america is obvious. we want america of the 21st 21st century, we want america today, we want what cape canaveral was to america in the

1960's to be what america will be for the world today. what do i mean? cape canaveral was the place we launched our one big moon shot. we're not going to have one big moon shot today to propel us forward. i want america to be the launching pad where everyone in the world wants to come to launch their moon shot, to start their company. i want them to want to come here because we have the best education, the best infrastructure the best i want electual property and protection rules, the best rule of law, the best ports, the most open immigration property and best funded research. if everyone in the world wants to come here and launch their moon shoot, everything will flow through this. we want to be that launching pad. when we get wrapped around the axle of what we really need is

fairness or to cut taxes, ok, we are so giving people the ability to get out of their chair, and march forward. >> if you haven't yet, take time to read tom's latest book, how american fell behind in the world it in vented and how we >>there's not a problem that exists in america today that hasn't been solved by somebody somewhere. >>(narrator) share your views with gavin at politicallydirect.com, a direct line to the gavin newsom show. >>focus on the folks that are making a difference, that are not just dreamers, but doers. >>(narrator) join the conversation.

>> great he to have you on the show. this is a strange thing for both

of us. >> yes. >> we've known each other for too long, so this can't be a very serious interview. you wrote a book, i picked this up, i thought it was a business book. you're a business guy, you've got 40 plus hotels around the world, you're a business guy and here you are talking about emotion and i've got to say, this is more like a self-help book than it is a business book, or am i wrong? >> daniel goman wrote a book called emotional intelligence and proved that two thirds of the success of business leaders has to dohad has e.q., emotional intelligence. i went through emotional ability camp several years ago as the ceo of my company.

i didn't i was going to write this type of book, but i learned enough from it to learn that leaders are the emotional thermostats of the groups they lead. >> right. >> if we don't understand our own emotions and have some level of being able to regulate them then we create this contagious effect within the organizations we lead. >> you come out of stanford business school. you had sort of a framework of discipline as it relates to the education you received. you come out, and you start with the one small hotel, did you have this framework in mind? did you understand what you just said? >> what i did know in business school, i was the youngest guy in my class, straight from stanford and i talked with someone when i first came on campus, first day i was there and he had been to morgan stanley and had all the pedigree and i didn't. he said to me what do you know well? i said i think i know people well and he just started

laughing. he said what's that going to serve you in terms of m.b.a.? i said i think we manage people. he went on and talked to someone else. that was 28 years ago, actually 30 years ago when i went to business school when i first started. at that time, i guess i was at a place where i thought well emotional intelligence in the context of business wasn't very important. when i started my first little motel in the tenderloin, rough neighborhood, i learned quickly that people are drawn to a leader based upon not just the words and charisma which lots of us have and you have in spades but their trust in the person and their sense that they get the authenticity and heartbeat of a person. you want to follow someone or be part of what that person is creating. ultimately, i realized i was the

chief emotions officer, not just the chief executive officer, really, i was someone, it wasn't that everybody would come to me with their problems and talk, i did a certain amount of that, it was more i could walk into a room and within five minutes of talking to group of people on the staff, i could sort of diagnose what the emotional challenges were at that particular property. that's important. >> was that, i mean if you were going to define your strongest skill set, it's that, ability to read people intuitive sense? >> yeah, i would say two things, one would be the ability to read people, create trust and help people live up to their potential, which is sort of what my last book was about, and the other is i'm creative as a boutique hotelery of understanding concept hotels and doing something that hasn't been done before. >> you're own emotional equation, you have all this success, build this brand,

competing against really in many respects yourself. you've proven everything you can possibly prove to yourself. i don't want to overstate, but truly, you are inspirational figure, involved in the community, you've already written a couple books by this time. life from the outside seems fabulous, though we are in a downturn, 2008, you're struggling like everybody else but not just from a business framework, but emotional. >> i was in a place four years ago where it was very clear that me that i didn't want to go doing what i was doing anymore. in work, we have have a job, career or calling. hopefully in life, we find our opportunity to find our calling in the context of our work. sometimes our calling comes from outside our work. for me, i have a calling and it had deflated to a job. i knew in 2008 what we needed in this second time in a lifetime

downturn was a c.e.o. who absolutely wanted to be sitting in that chair and that wasn't me. that's one thing i was struggling with, running out of money, launches hotels around the state of california, difficult launches going on. i had a son going to prison wrongfully, i had a relationship ending that i didn't want to end. >> a friend that committed suicide. >> i had a friend that committed suicide, so i was really not making sense of my emotions. i felt there was a tical wave inside of me and i didn't know how surf it. man searching for meaning was a book i read and a guy who was a psychologist who believed that the fuel in life is meaning and that that's really what gives those people a sense of vitality.

on a bad day, read that book. he was living in a concentration camp. >> you hit that day and said i know about this book, i may have read it before. >> i didn't have it in the context of where i am now, because i felt i was in mental prison. >> it was that intense? >> i thought about that golden gate bridge. >> it was that bad? you were thinking those type of thoughts. >> i was, and i know lots of people who have. i was not close to actually taking those steps like my friend, chip, did. five friends of mine have taken their lives in the last four years. when i did know is i wanted to try to make practical that man search for meaning book, but the bottom line, it shifted me that man shift for meaning book, i want to turn it into something i can use as a mantra on a daily basis and i came up with despair equals suffering minus meaning

which is the equation that started me out. you can understand the logic of your emotions fund how they relate to each other. that equation, when you're going through a difficult time in life, concentration camp, doing whatever it is, bad recession, to suffer, if you're buddhist, it's the first noble truth of booedism that suffering is ever present. meaning is variable. what i really realized for myself is that i needed to actually use this equation on a daily basis. three or four months later, i top 80 executives because i saw a bunch of suffering in the room in 2009 and it was looking pretty you wilily in the hotel business. i started to realize that these equations are meaningful not just in a emotional base but to help leaders understand how to make sense of their own person.

>> were you developing the own framework of emotional equations as a framework for your book or your own personal receive actualization. >> i had no idea i would write a book. i knew for me personally, i am not a crook, i just knew that i needed something, and i didn't want to medicate myself and i chose not to do that and i just wanted something, and so the equation was the thing i would say to myself sometimes 60, 70 times a day as just a reminder where's the meaning, what's the lesson? actually at the end of the week i'd say ok, so what emotions did i learn? a great old study show women who actually had their teen years in the depression were much better able to handle being a widow later in life than widows that actually did not grow up during the depression. during the depression, they learned emotional skills that they were able to use later in

life, so that's what i started to ask myself, what emotional, i'm going through emotional boot camp, what are the emotional muscles i'm learning right now. the first week, courage, authenticity vulnerability, who you humility. that's how i started teaching emotions within the company. >> then you decided to sell the company. >> i knew i didn't want to be ceo. part of the reason i went into the deep dive is i realize this calling was no longer a calling. i really loved writing books and giving speeches. i wanted a simpler life. i worked joy de vivre and now wanted to live it. we could bring in a new great ceo,

john, whose father started hyatt. it was my get out of jail free card. >> now you spend time having consummated that deal writing. >> yep. >> giving speeches. >> yep. >> do you have curriculum you've designed? >> yeah, i've done a number of workshops and classes and leadership programs around both emotional equations as well as my last book. what's interesting is that in the last two downturns, a dot com bust in the bay area largest hotel in the bay area and we had this great recession. both times i didn't turn to my stanford m.b.a. books i learned, i turned to a psychologist. it worked for me. what i do now is i work an awful lot with people at this intersection of psychologist and, how to understand, how to create organization that has great psycho hygiene.

there is a phenomena that everybody's in unison and the leader is perfectly altogether. what happens is the boat actually lifts out of the water, they call that swing. for me, is how do you get everybody together in unison such that the boat comes out of the water. when it comes out of the water moving forward, there's less friction and it goes faster. that's what i try to do in helping other companies and organizations. >> just as you turned to mazlow and franco, i want to turn after if you weren't watching current this week, you missed: oliver stone on the gavin newsom show. >>war on poverty, war on drugs country. >>the young turks, jennifer granholm and eliot spitzer explore the wisconsin recall. >>republicans go in full-bore and democrats like tip-toeing, "should we go in, should we not go in?" >>that's just completely contrary to the american system. >>our democracy has been hacked!

>> we're talking during the break about men being disproportionately impacted during the downturn. i imagine for are men, i'm not going to suggest the one sitting right here asking you the questions, but emotional

equation, just the emotional side of things sometimes can be very difficult. >> generally speaking, self help emotions books are not popular sellers with men, but 60% of the reviews on his amazon for this book are for men. it's partly because men have had a tougher time of this downturn and haven't known what to do with their emotions. this book is about the logic of our emotions or finding the logic of our emotions. we need to be very careful about this. i've had five friends, all men who committed suicide, 16 months ago, in the downturn, and this what we need to do is actually try to help people understand the internal weather that's going on and the storm that happens isn't going to last forever. our internal weather is like the external weather except for when you're in the middle of that blizzard, it feels like it's never going to end. understanding what's going on inside is helping people and definitely helping men. >> so this is your fourth book.

>> it's noted new york time's best seller. how different is this work from your first book where you talked about rebels. you've got here you are, ready, fire, aim, sail forward fast. it's a sort of frame here. it's obviously by definition more reflective. >> no doubt a lot of wisdom has been built with a lot of skinned knees and some scar tissue. the first book was, you know definitely entrepreneurial let's get them kind of book and richard branson wrote the forward. i wrote marketing that matters, and peak about organizations. >> and the more personal side of leadership and life. >> and very self reflective. you talk about pretty much everything. >> i do. >> your father, almost the way i

read it, it's as if he gave you permission. >> he did. >> to be yourself. >> he did. he did that before when i came out as a gay man in my early 20's. he wanted me to be the 35-year-old approximates of the united states. he had high aspirations for me, but it took him a while to get used to me being a gay man because he thought i wouldn't be ambitious, and it turned out i would. he liked me and my company, and why would i want to move on and be a writer. i said when i was 12, i want to be a writer when i grow up and he said most writers are poor or sigh cottic or both. i got an idea that a writer isn't what i wanted to be. >> i imagine you've been marked as all of us approximate some failure. >> a bunch of them. >> give me examples of somewhere you had a profound impact or

that was a moment you learned something, moved on, turned the page and found a different course, different direction. >> i've had a lot of failures. one is the most noble experiment, experiment and experience have the same root. life is an experiment. if you think that way, you're more willing to have a failure. we created a luxury camp ground on highway one on the california coast in an area that has sort of odd weather, not great weather for camping, not your typical l.a. county kind of beautiful -- >> fog. >> a lot of wind. we decided to launch it and keep our prices pretty high, because nobody ever had a product like this, a luxury camp ground. it's a bunch of tents with mattresses in them and heated down comforters and bath robes. we also had a lodge.

we figured we were setting the price for what it's worth, so we set the price high. even though i think the experience was pretty good for people, by setting it high, we limited the market and bewent into the dot com bust and it made it harder. i decided with vitale, it was going to be a good product. >> this one you built from scratch. >> from across the street from the bay. i wanted to make sure people would have a phenomenal experience and say this is a great value and tell their friends. when they tell their friends they listen, a year later or five years later they come back and say it's a good value, they don't know the context anymore. the hotel was in the third or fourth month it was open had the

highest occupancy of any luxury hotel in san francisco screaming success for seven years. >> things that have served you or those failures that you continue to have deep regret and haven't provided the meaning. >> i'm still figuring out the meaning related to the last relationship, it was an eight year relationship that ended and single still now, and happily single, but trying to figure out what went wrong there, what was my part in. it i'd been in an 11 year relationship, an eight year relationship. i don't want a six month relationship. i'd like the next one to last the rest of my life. i'm still reflecting on what my part was. i think one of the pieces is i get so wrapped up in my work sometimes that it can mean i don't have much time to invest in the family life. >> best advice you've ever received? >> i think it was well, you

know, richard branson said something that was pretty good from a business perspective, i am the market should be your mantra. if you're not in love with the product you're creating, stop spending time on it. a lot of companies are creating products they don't care about. if you're an entrepreneur doing that stop today, and find something that makes you passionate. >> chip, thanks for coming on. >> it's great to be here. gaeme inc. thank gaemezilinsky, thank you for joining

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right? [ laughter ] >> 46 minutes after the hour, right back on the "stephanie miller show."

>> conviction's not a quality that comes easily to people and one that's harder to sustain particularly in the spotlight. all three of my guests have been standing firm on shaky ground. they support ideas that don't always make you popular, but it's some kind of conviction that ultimately leads to forward thinking that's essential for our ability to evolve. we have to take on controversial solutions. tom uses his books as a long

standing columnist as a megaphone for his ideas, expounding on globalization and energy independence, in ramifications of terrorism. these are heady issues you requiring a blends of open questions and potential solutions that inspire readers to continue the conversation well beyond the pages of "the new york times." and chip brings about his ideas on emotional intelligence to the business world. his theory of identifying and tapping into the psychological needs of customers and employees help make him one of the most respected hoteliera in our country. oliver stone heavy and controversial topics in films, and his latest work explores drug culture and the war on drugs. i've long been an advocate for the virtue of failing.

you can't move forward without the courage to take risk. i know this as a business owner and as mayor. you need to reward people for taking that occasional risk and not always succeeding. at the end of the day, mistakes are a portal of discovery. california and particularly the bay area are at its best when we i am brace the culture of entrepreneurialism and forward thinking. supporting gay marriage may not have won me many friends when i was mayor, but it was the right thing to do, and despite the political risk, it was president obama's conviction in supporting gay rights last month that brought us a step closer to that reality. it was the right thing to do. tom, chip, and oliver, well, by their own admissions of all made mistakes along their careers but would never have learned from those mistakes had they been afraid of criticism, being occasionally wrong. it's this kind of thought

leaders that i want front and center on this show. i hope you'll join me again next >> i want to focus on the folks that are making a difference. (vo) here's how you can connect with the gavin newsom show. >>i'm an outsider in the inside. ideas are the best politics.

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