better salary and bargain for better benefits. so this is anti-public employee anti-unions, against all working families. republicans have declared war on test test test test test test test test test test test test test test

the new slogan should be "we own wall street." that's my view.

and who doesn't want 50% more cash? ugh, the baby. huh! and then the baby bear said "i want 50% more cash in my bed!" phhht! 50% more cash is good ri... what's that. ♪ ♪ you can spell. [ male announcer ] the capital one cash rewards card. the card for people who want 50% more cash. what's in your wallet? ♪ ♪ "stephanie miller show."

♪ katrina and the waves ♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show" show. ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: jim did a

spectacular job shaving my tongue this morning. monday after a sexy liberal weekend. [ applause ] we love you, boston. happy monday everybody. six minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 toll free from anywhere. >> it goes on in boston. >> stephanie: wicked. i tell you what. wicked drinkers. gay pride weekend. stephaniemiller.com. you can e-mail us there. executive producer chris lavoie. my apple assistant siri calls him critical boy. >> no, stephanie! no! >> stephanie: yes, thank you, is iri he is critical boy siri. >> at least it is not chris la blat. >> stephanie: and voice man, jim ward. thank you, boston. [ applause ] we had a surprise celebrity guest on panel. a surprise to me i did not know

he was going to be there. alan grayson got a standing ovation for walking and sitting. he just walked into the theatre. [ cheering ] the crowd goes wild! karl frisch was there from net roots and opened up the show for us. [ applause ] it was -- and current was there. they were filming for the documentary on sexy liberal. we're a ramshackle operation normally. high-strung sexy little tour director has something on his iphone. it was a jib. it was not just cameramen. it was a big thing. >> they didn't put swag in every seat? >> everybody had the sexy liberal hat. >> did you just sit on your swag? i sure hope so. >> stephanie: i thought it was a pie. it was an incredible show. >> grandpa, are you sitting on the pie? >> i sure hope so.

[ laughter ] >> stephanie: some of the sexy liberal cause in boston elizabeth warren for senate. [ applause ] rock star cheers again. >> she's wicked smack! [ cheering ] that race tighter than a kat's ass. >> i have five cats. >> that's a production term. we don't use that in real life. we use that in the production industry. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: like a dan ratherrism. sorry. >> tighter than a cat's sphincter. >> stephanie: the new polls are showing people don't care about this bs. i wore my see-through green [ bleep ] t-shirt. >> pashmina?

>> no pashmina. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: in honor of my -- because i'm a quarter irish. it was in honor of my -- i'm 25% irish and 75% chardonnay. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] [ laughter ] >> stephanie: all right, yeah, the world's gone wild. for instance, did you guys know sports crazy boston, right did you guys know that l.a. has a hockey team? [ scooby-doo's "huh?" ] >> stephanie: apparently we're in the stanley cup and the bruins are not. >> he went to a kings game in 1979. >> i went to one in 1972. >> stephanie: good to know. >> there are no ice rinks anywhere in l.a. anymore. >> stephanie: we're all missing the sports gene. the mayor of sports crazy boston doesn't know what the [ bleep ] plays for the celtics. even i know the starting line-up is -- >> larry bird.

>> stephanie: apairnlg. >> sandy koufax. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: oh boy. all right. by the way the first -- well now technically be the second interracial three-way teabagging demonstration. >> wow. >> stephanie: with aisha tyler, john fuglesang and i. when aisha tyler starts improvising, all bets are off. she was dangling a microphone in my face. [ applause ] i'm guessing if that got on youtube, it is getting a lot of hits. >> while pegging john? >> stephanie: she was doing something to john and then he was teabagging me. suddenly the microphone came down. >> bonk. >> stephanie: like i was a shute minor. >> i think that's. >> stephanie: i don't know

what anything is until chris shows me. >> oh, that kind of salad. >> stephanie: oh, that's not the type i eat. >> sanchez isn't a guy. >> stephanie: wow! okay. >> stephanie: teabagging has nothing to do with tea okay. >> where's the hot water? >> stephanie: oh okay. quite different then. my good,. my good,. i was talking about the story we did last week. the guy in massachusetts. he was suing an emergency room because he said that nobody helped him with his disabled erection because they were watching baseball. wow! that's a big boner. shh shh, red sox. that's not going to last more than four hours, you'll be fine. we're in the seventh inning stretch. don't worry about it. all right. so, lots to talk about. obviously we were in mittens' backyard. mittens, of course, jumped all over the president -- it is like you know what? mittens would with have taken

him out of context even if he had said in the exact same sentence compared to the public sector, the private sector is doing fine. mittens knows that. he held a press conference because he knows the economy is not fine. he made a good point backed up by hard numbers. unemployment rate would be a full point lower if the public sector was keeping up. mittens made a bigger gaffe by going american people don't want more teachers. firefighters and cops. oh really? if your house is burning or someone just broke in, you probably -- >> the american people want me to get richer. >> stephanie: yeah. anyway. this is new to me. when did people start hating cops and teachers? >> they're not the american people. >> stephanie: yeah, i don't -- anyway, that whole thing. i love -- >> the america people, he means people like him. >> i like having firefighters

there just in case my house burns down. >> stephanie: i like them because they're hot. okay. >> and many of them are republican. >> stephanie: yes. >> but they're not americans according to mitt romney. >> i grew up in a firefighter household. >> stephanie: ken and barbie your parents. >> no kidding. actually named ken and barbie. >> it would be sad if it was klaas and barbie. >> stephanie: spasticchild that threw the lincoln logs and tinkertoys if you didn't get it perfect. >> if i didn't get it to look like on the box. >> stephanie: you did what? >> i threw them against the wall. >> he can bench press a fire truck. so that happened. >> stephanie: be a fly on the wall in the lavoie household when ken and barbie were discussing their strong little tot. oh, ken, oh, barbie, skipper is

just not turning out like we hoped. [ laughter ] >> doesn't seem to want to stay in the beach house. i can't understand. >> stephanie: all right. i'm still -- >> drunk. [ ding ding ] >> i'm assuming you drank some scotch with aisha. >> stephanie: no. >> that's her thing. >> stephanie: no, just all green beer. >> okay. >> stephanie: i was making a point. oh, my favorite part of that whole -- mitt romney actually got to call -- said president obama's out of touch. hard to be as in touch as mitt. having to make those tough choices in life. can i afford another dressage horse or another car elevator. lovey, what do you think? [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: we were once again in mitt's backyard. they know what -- crappy his record was. it is like when he keeps talking about the unemployment went down, that's because everyone is

self-deported. you were 47th in job creation. it is incredible. all right. >> you say that like it is a bad thing. >> stephanie: meanwhile, scott brown, he is -- he used to be a hand model. i don't know if you knew that. [ ding ding ] [ applause ] >> fabulous. >> and a leather shorts model. >> did he wear the pink leather shorts while he was hand modeling. >> stephanie: scott brown would be the one photographed in pink leather. [ applause ] >> stephanie: just saying. yeah, but he was -- i didn't realize that. he started as an actual hand model which i said was practice for all of the [ bleep ] he was going to give the banks. all of the watered down financial reform. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] they get smart and dirty at the same time in boston. >> be careful, don't get banned

in boston for stuff like that. >> stephanie: i have to say, it was an amazing weekend to be in boston for gay pride where you know, the president of the hanss just come out for marriage equality. you know barney -- when did we think a sitting congressman would announce he's going to marry his boyfriend? gay pride weekend. the first in the nation for gay pride. [ applause ] i was reading on the plane zack wahl, who so makes me go from gay to questioning wrote a book "my two moms." he's an eagle scout working to overturn the ban on gay scouts and leaders in the boy scouts. he's awesome. i'm just saying organization that already has men wearing scarves and they call each other weibls, how far is it away? [ ♪ circus ♪ ] it doesn't seem like they're that far. my point is that anyway, aisha

tyler, we had two things in common last week. we both got to see the president in person. however, she being a higher grade celebrity than i am, she got to actually talk to him in person. >> on "the talk"? >> stephanie: no. there was only like 20 of them. obama campaign surrogates. i was like i got to see the president. oh, so did she. 25 pictures of her talking to the president privately. >> got a picture of her with her tongue in his ear. >> did you show her your pictures? blurry blurry. here's mine. >> stephanie: how sad my life is compared to aisha. i got a blurry picture with this green pashmina on but i got half his face. >> rope line and the bouncer telling you. >> by the way -- >> stephanie: she was saying it doesn't matter who you are. she was trying to be cool. she walks in, bonus bonus, bonus, bonus. [ screaming ] by the way in heels the same height.

[ applause ] >> wow. >> stephanie: she's awesome. as is john fuglesang. thank you, boston. 18 minutes after the hour. let's continue on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: for a good time, call now. 1-800-steph-12.

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♪ ♪ get a ton of attention on friday, did it?

this was sort of the classic way, this is how we cover campaigns. we're going to take obama's fine comment from the press conference, prefend he wasn't talking about job growth. he was just talking about the economy. i mean some of the reporters -- let's face if. some of the people in the media were pushing that item before republicans even had a chance to push it. >> stephanie: yeah. >> they really see that as their job as sort of spying these gaffes and what are republicans going to go after and yet it makes it easier when you take it out of context. then a couple of hours later romney responds with this -- he wants more firefighters and cops and teachers. traditionally, when someone's running for the president of the united states and they suggest that america doesn't need cops or firefighters or teachers or sort of holds them in contempt that's kind of news. but on friday, it wasn't. >> stephanie: i know. so much for the media -- >> the american people don't

like these greedy cops, teachers and firefighters as if they weren't american people. >> yeah, right exactly. >> american taxpayers. >> stephanie: we've talked about this eric. it makes me crazy about wisconsin and elsewhere where they keep talking about the taxpayers versus the unions. people in unions are taxpayers! >> mitt romney is the only one not paying taxes. >> stephanie: the thing that kills me is the pensions. they earned it. it was part of the deal. here, will you take less in salary but we'll give it to you in pension. we go back on the deal, meaning walker. they're greedy, right? >> the deals are broken. unions are greedy. if union members didn't have to pay taxes, there would be a lot more. this idea that they're not doing -- it is kind of crazy. but also, you know, the right wing media was clearly trying to play down the extraordinary -- the money national money that was poured into wisconsin. i'm not saying that's the only

reason walker won. the idea that it was this grassroots tea party standing up to the man movement, let's not pretend -- let's not kid ourselves. these were billionaires writing massive checks. that's what the republican party has come to these days. >> stephanie: let's dive into the right-wing world. laura ingram in for o'reilly. >> there is a big game of pretend going on here, folks. he pretends that both he and the economy are working. and he hopes that voters don't catch on before november. i don't know what's worse. his pretending the economy is working when it's not or pretending that his working when he's not. >> here's the real story. the private sector is doing fine. u.s. corporations are holding a record 1.74 trillion dollars in liquid assets according to the quarter flow he of funds report released on thursday. >> stephanie: exactly. >> they're hoarding cash. they're choosing not to invest. >> fortune 500 companies broke

all of the profit records up 16% in one year. as obama says later, because this became a deal, you know, the economy obviously is not fine and 60,000 new jobs a month is not fine as far as he's concerned. but in that comment, he was clearly talking about job growth between public -- the public sector versus the private sector. >> stephanie: right. >> how does all of that get flushed down the memory hole and it is a lot easier to pretend he was saying the economy is fine. of course, that's what fox news is going to do. the depressing part is a pretty good chunk of the beltway press did that on friday and over the weekend as well. >> stephanie: because they don't want to get called liberal since when do we start rooting for cops and firefighters and teachers to lose their jobs and number two the point the president made is absolutely backed up by economists. it is four points lower. if the public sector were keeping up with the private. >> you've seen the charts over

the weekend. the government, the number of government jobs have disappeared in the last five years approximately. it is huge. and look that's what a lot of liberal economists were arguing saying we can't get rid of the government jobs. they're a crucial part of this economy. but you know, the republicans and i think the right wing won that debate and so all of these government jobs are being slashed. while at the same time the obama administration was being charged with -- you know, keeping too many people on the government payroll. they got rid of all of the jobs. now it is affecting the unemployment and the economy. everyone knew it would. it is sort of weird catch-22. getting blamed for having this bloated government when, in fact, obama administration has taken drastic steps to cut it and now he's getting blamed for cutting it because the jobs are gone. >> some catch-22. >> stephanie: eric bolling on the five. >> today when president obama took to the microphone and started in with the same stuff

private sector is fine. we need more government hiring i literally sent an e-mail to you guys, i think he just lost the re-election. right now on this day, mark your calendar. it is the way president obama won because he prove to the world he has no answers. he's just waiting this thing out and hoping -- come november, that unemployment starts to get a little bit better. that's what's going to save him. otherwise it doesn't. he's toast. he has no ideas. >> stephanie: wow. i guess we can all go home. hit the lights on your way out. >> this is the same eric bolling who couldn't decide if gas prices in may would be $5 or $6. he's sure -- we've talked about this before. if you look at the polling, it is still amazing. even to me that a majority of plurality of americans still blame george w. bush for the economic situation we're in. so it is sort of this fox news fantasy that you know, that obama is getting blamed and he just lost the election and everyone is blaming him for

unemployment, things like that. according to the polls they're not. but that's the alternate universe that the conservative press wants to live in that -- obama lost the election based on his one comment at a press conference. >> stephanie: dev ducey and gretchen carlson fox and friends. >> this poll, the president of the united states was better on education and foreign policy, terrorism, bringing the united states together and fighting special interests. than mitt romney. >> i'm stunned by that bringing the u.s. together. because the whole campaign of president obama four years ago was hope and change and bringing everyone together and a lot of people were looking forward to that. a lot of people also believe that hasn't been what's happened in the last two and a half years. so i'm stunned. >> you're stunned by air. >> stephanie: gretchen carlson, that should be on the chiron, "stunned by air." >> fox and friends has spent every weekday morning for the

last four years making sure america cannot come together. trying to stop anybody from doing it. now she's stunned. >> stephanie: her point is despite the extraordinary help from the republicans, it is amazing. i don't know how. >> shocked all of that gambling going on. >> stephanie: eric boehlert remains in the sidecar. we continue right-wing world after the commercial. >> it is a combination of low self-esteem, low blood sugar and missing red wine with my -- and mixing red wine with my painkillers. and everyone likes 50% more cash -- well, except her.

and everyone likes 50% more cash -- well, except her. and everyone likes 50% more cash -- well, except her.

in 2012 alone. go to our website, current.com. up next it's out to the campaign trail. a surprising new poll, and that's next right here inside "the war room." i have the most common type of atrial fibrillation, or afib. it's not caused by a heart valve problem. i was taking warfarin, but my doctor put me on pradaxa instead to reduce my risk of stroke. in a clinical trial, pradaxa® (dabigatran etexilate mesylate) reduced stroke risk 35% better than warfarin. and unlike warfarin, with pradaxa, there's no need for regular blood

tests. that's really important to me. pradaxa can cause serious, sometimes fatal, bleeding. don't take pradaxa if you have abnormal bleeding and seek immediate medical care for unexpected signs of bleeding, like unusual bruising. pradaxa may increase your bleeding risk if you're 75 or older, have a bleeding condition like stomach ulcers, or take aspirin, nsaids, or blood thinners, or if you have kidney problems especially if you take certain medicines. tell your doctor about all medicines you take any planned medical or dental procedures and don't stop taking pradaxa without your doctor's approval as stopping may increase your stroke risk. other side effects include indigestion, stomach pain, upset, or burning. pradaxa is progress. having afib not caused by a heart valve problem increases your risk of stroke. ask your doctor if you can reduce your risk with pradaxa. jennifer granholm, is politically direct on current tv >> what should women be doing? >> electing women to office.

[ whistle ]

>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ get this party started right ♪ ♪ get this part started quickly ♪ >> stephanie: yeah speaking of -- on the left, what was i doing during commercial break? i was talking about how handsome and romantic alex grayson is. i got to hang out with him in boston. he has a haircut. [ applause ] okay. speaking of cuteness on the left. he's back. eric boehlert from media matters to continue right-wing world. bill crystal who eric as we've said, there should be a chiron saying he's always been wrong about everything ever. here he is. >> i would like to see who bill clinton is really going to vote for. i think bill clinton will vote for mitt romney. >> you do? >> he probably thinks romney would be a better present. clinton is a grownup who didn't have a decent economic record.

barack obama is clueless about the economy. he's proud that he took the democratic party to the center. he rescued the democratic party from its failures from the dukakis/mon dale party. >> again, wrong about everything ever! >> stephanie: eric, your thoughts. >> obama is not a leftist by any stretch of the imagination. >> chris's source is inside the clinton camp. >> the larger issue was this clinton -- you know, something about the beltway press and bill clinton and they are just decades later, i mean it has been almost 15 years. they still go bonkers. the idea that his -- bill clinton's two comments last week that weren't completely on message. we're going to sway the election. voters in sacramento and dallas were listening for the next bill clinton comment. give me a break! this is such beltway nonsense. >> stephanie: they hated clinton. now they love him.

>> he's the wise of wise old man who concedes all of the faults of the democratic party. he led the party for ten years. yeah. painful. >> stephanie: rush limbaugh. >> he's a thin, wiry, can't even throw a baseball looking like a guy. the president. there's not a whole lot of masculinity there. in appearance. plus he's a liberal democrat. that means he's a dove. liberal democratic progressive means that in his mind, the u.s. military is the focus of the evil of the modern world. >> stephanie: he's commenting on someone's athleticism. and figure. okay. >> i would like to see a punt, pass and kick challenge between rush limbaugh and barack obama. i would put $100 on who's going to win. >> stephanie: what do you say on a one on one match on the basketball court? >> exactly.

>> nothing but net. >> stephanie: this is the play they always run. not manly. is that what he said? throws like a girl. he's not manly. >> limbaugh on the same day obviously had the whole sandra fluke fiasco. no one mixes creepy sexist language with american politics the way rush limbaugh -- we've talked about it. he is upset with certain parts of the anatomy that he won't stop talking about and thinks it has to do with the political discussion. it is crazy, creepy. he's got major issues. >> stephanie: thank you. ann coulter on red eye. >> i don't think it is a good image, not with the economy the way it is now. and he's hanging out with bimbos in hollywood. now he not only has to shore up vote in wisconsin but he is worried about hollywood. >> stephanie: is he talking about me? i was at the obama fund-raiser in hollywood last week.

i beg your pardon! >> hollywood bimbo. >> talk about an evergreen. democrats in hollywood. this is -- the funny part is republicans, who do they have? they have mitt romney, they have to hang out with people like -- >> charlie daniels. >> ted nugent. so sad when they try to buddy up to any sort of star then they complain when the actual ones are more democratic. >> stephanie: they're not because we have all of the cool kids. we have better celebrities than you do. >> they have janine turner. >> and chuck norris. >> stephanie: eric boehlert from media matters. always a pleasure, sir. see you next week. there he goes. [ applause ] >> i really do think ann coulter hangs out here in los angeles than she does wherever she -- >> stephanie: that's where the cool kids are. sorry. >> i want to see limbaugh in a 50-yard dash against obama.

>> stephanie: like he could throw. drop on the pitcher's mound. hi, ricky in st. paul. you're on "the stephanie miller show." good morning. >> caller: first time calling into a talk show but it is refreshing to see a true liberal show that's truly liberal. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i was calling in. i wanted to talk about i think a lot of the things about the election is overanalyzed and i feel that a lot of people, they're going to vote for who they're going to vote for. most of us already know who we're going to vote for. i don't believe a lot of the people who call themselves moderates or whatever are as moderate as they say they are because i consider myself to be a moderate but i look at a lot of conservative thoughts and ideals. i'm almost 60 years old. >> stephanie: we'll continue after the break. 29 minutes after the hour. "the stephanie miller show."

better salary and bargain for better benefits. so this is anti-public employee anti-unions, against all working families. republicans have declared war on you. >> this is the bill press show.

from silver screens... to flat screens... twizzlerize your entertainment everyday with twizzlers the twist you can't resist. very, very excited about that and very proud of that. >>beltway politics from inside the loop. >>we tackle the big issues here in our nation's capital, around the country and around the globe. >>dc columnist and four time emmy winner bill press opens current's morning news block. >>we'll do our best to carry the flag from 6 to 9 every morning.

>>liberal and proud of it. ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> they sit around in their underwear and fornicating in the stairwell. >> sounds like fun to me. >> stephanie: boston was fun. 34 minutes past the hour. >> the wilbur theatre stairwell will never be the same. >> stephanie: yikes. mark in newington. connecticut. there you go. was at sexy liberal. i was laughing so hard my cheeks still hurt. a lot of reports of that. in addition to the great show, i had the pleasure of sitting with -- he did get -- when he

walked in. >> in your butt checks hurt that's not from laughing. aisha tyler was probably -- aisha is beautiful and i can understand why women go goo goo over john. >> it makes me feel i may be a less by yang trapped in a -- a lesbian trapped in a man's body. [ applause ] >> stephanie: janice in houston, texas you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: good morning, stephanie. how are you? i want to say what if we allowed the g.o.p. to come -- they're a gang of thugs. they remind me of the taliban.

>> stephanie: i know the religious right, they have coosted this party. all right. i was talking -- look, my second article highlighted from the actual paper in "the new york times." [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> this one we were able to post up on your facebook page. >> stephanie: i did not overhighlight! you overhighlighted that. >> we got a tweet about that. >> stephanie: yeah? >> amy says as a special ed. teacher, i say we need to be affirming steph for using highlighting as a learning accommodation. >> stephanie: thank you, amy. [ applause ] >> since you highlight every single line of the article -- >> stephanie: it was that good in the "l.a. times." ronald brounstein did. okay. my timingness came in handy. you can't get it online. this one.

this was a disturbing -- speaking of the -- how racist are we? ask google. i don't know if anyone saw this in "the new york times" yesterday. in sunday's "new york times," interesting points. barack obama obviously won. there's no more rate racism. many nationally concluded that prejudice was not a major factor in modern times. my research, a comparison of american's google searches and their voting patterns found otherwise if my results are correct, it cost mr. obama many more votes than we may have realized. he's talking about a lot of headwinds going for him last time. mr. obama, blah, blah, blah. few people that -- got surveys. he makes a point there. i use a new tool, google insights. which tells researchers how often words are searched in different parts of the united states. google aggregating information from billions of searches has the tendency to reveal meaningful social patterns.

anyway, so the conditions under which people use google online, not participating in the official survey are ideal for capturing what they're really thinking and feeling. ideal for capturing -- ranking states and media based on the proportion of their google searches that included the word -- the n word. two were jokes about african-americans. i wanted to measure not directly -- he did data.

>> stephanie: he clearly politically targeted his political opponents. >> well it's still a riff in wisconsin and my main -- >> stephanie: dey, let me ask you something -- >> when you make comments about how it was all a wash because the democrats now can control the legislature, that's not true. there is one senate seat that was -- is still in jeopardy. they're going through a complete recount in wisconsin. >> stephanie: it looks like it is going -- >> that isn't going to matter anyway because the whole legislature is in summer session and there is another election in november where 16 seats are up for re-election again. >> stephanie: we'll see what happens with that. like you say -- >> as you pointed out, the whole thing was a wash. 125 million dollars later.

>> stephanie: how are you going to feel if he gets indicted? >> that's a whole different issue. that still has to be -- i don't think i would vote for him again if that does come to fruition. >> stephanie: dave, thank you. great call. nice to talk to you. [ applause ] >> when someone stumbles across the show, it usually doesn't end well. >> stephanie: it ended better for me than most relationships do. all right. just a truce. all right. 45 minutes -- it was a wash. 45 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." pacific. only on current tv. [ nervous ] i hope no one recognizes us... lieutenant governor of

california, and former mayor of san francisco is on current tv. >>every night on cable news networks everyone's focusing on what's wrong. i want this show to move past that. i love creative people, and with all the vexing problems we have we need creative thinking. >>(narrator) with interviews with notables from silicon valley, hollywood, and beyond. >>at the end of the day this show's simple. it's about ideas. ideas are the best politics. ideas can bring us together. >>(narrator) the gavin newsom show. friday at 11 eastern/8 pacific. only on current tv. [ nervous ] i hope no one recognizes us... lieutenant governor of california, and former mayor of san francisco is on current tv. really? no. it comes with a hat. see, airline credit cards promise flights for 25,000 miles, but... [ man ] there's never any seats for 25,000 miles. frustrating, isn't it? but that won't happen with the capital one venture card. you can book any airline, anytime. hey, i just said that.

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you've heard stephanie's views. >>no bs, authentic, the real thing. >>now, let's hear yours at the only online forum with a direct line to stephanie miller. >>the only thing that can save america now: current television. >>join the debate now.

♪ material girl ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ because the boy with the cold hard cash is always mr. right ♪ ♪ because we are living in a material world ♪ ♪ and i am a material girl ♪ ♪ you know that we are living in a material world ♪ ♪ and i am a material girl ♪ >> stephanie: "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. solar world has been making solar panels here in america since 1975. go to solarworld.com to find out more about the leader in american solar. all right. so the hubbub was all over this last week. >> we've created 4.3 million jobs over the last 27 months. over 800,000 just in year alone. the private sector is doing fine

>> it is. u.s. corporations are -- $1.74 trillion in liquid assets. but they're hoarding the cash instead of investing it in companies that might truly hire people. >> stephanie: the job creators are awfully tight-firsted aren't they? president obama clarified explaining it is clear the economy is not doing fine. that's why i had a press conference. duh! romney said the comment said obama was out of touch. >> no, it proves you're a moron. >> stephanie: thank you. >> if they were actually investing the assets they're sitting on in companies that actually hire people, the economy would be doing fine. >> stephanie: exactly. it would be -- as i've said many times this morning as economists say, a point lower if the public sector were keeping up with the private sector. since when is it bad -- who wants their kids to have 50 kids in the class? since when is it bad to have

more teachers? if your house is on fire, someone broke in, you could use a cop or a fireman or fireperson, pardon me. firefighter, pardon me. >> police officer. >> stephanie: mr. 1950s clip art, mr. romney called them policemen and firemen. >> i don't think there were any milk chicks. >> stephanie: they were to show his weakness in hiring. i think it was clear to anybody listening that's what he meant. >> my goodness gracious, there are police skirts? i had no idea. fire cames. fire dames. >> stephanie: i'm interested from hearing congress about what steps they're going to take to make a difference. so far all we've heard are additional tax cuts to the folks doing fine. and promote the kind of economic growth we would all like to see. it is election season. it is going to be gotcha.

i think that's a bigger gaffe that romney made in terms of saying -- what did he say? david axelrod. romney. >> instead, he wants to add more to government. he wants another stimulus and hire more government workers. he says we need more firemen more policemen, more teachers. did he not get the message in wisconsin? the american people did. it is time for us to cut back on government and help the american people. >> once again, teachers, firemen and policemen are the american people. >> stephanie: mitt romney is living on a different planet when it comes to the economy. >> he's living on colab. >> he's not allowed to drink it. >> stephanie: the american people are smarter than that. what's most interesting is how he reacted to the spirit because the statement was we don't need anymore teachers or firefighters. >> we don't need no stinking -- >> stephanie: i think we -- they skipped the headline the most important thing. we have created 4.3 million new

jobs in 27 months. [ applause ] >> so, what's your point? >> stephanie: over 800,000 just this year alone. he lost 800,000 jobs in the first month he took office under george bush. do the numbers. >> the economy is not doing fine. there are too many people out of work. the housing market is still weak and too many homes underwater. that's precisely why i asked congress to start taking some steps that can make a difference. >> stephanie: then he talked about layoffs. and congress. >> congress should pass a bill putting them back to work right now. giving help to the states so that those layoffs are not occurring. >> stephanie: steve in virginia on this very subject. hi steve. >> caller: good morning, stephanie. love your show. watch it every day. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i wanted to make three quick points on issues discussed earlier this morning. first, the republican attack on firefighters and police. i remember when bill clinton

implemented the more cops on the streets initiative republican mayors and state representatives had no problem taking credit for the reduction in declining primary. also, reduction in firefighter ems and police personnel increases their response time to emergencies. >> stephanie: yep. >> caller: second, regarding schoolteachers, the attack on schoolteachers, i campaigned for an assembly representative whose main issue was smaller class size to increase the quality of quality education. he was able to enact the legislation which resulted in an increase of quality of education and regardless of party made teachers proud that the effect was real. and finally, regarding the republican denial of science i worked many years in chemical research for the e.p.a. and understand the toxic effects of many chemicals on humans. however the right-wingbacked american council has repeatedly forwarded the concept most of the chemicals in food, for instance, pose no health problems upon ingestion. i just wonder in the twisted

republican agenda, if this is related to an attempt to reduce the size of the central safety net. >> stephanie: yeah. all great points. by the way the other -- we talked about this last week. it really is a dance they're trying to do. this whole -- you know, the kasichs of the world. everything is great in ohio because of me. but it is bad everywhere else. >> ever have a governor who is an idiot? >> stephanie: this is an interesting one. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] can i just say most of them because of obama's policies because of the auto rescue, i mean this complicates republican candidate mitt romney's claim the economy has been so mismanaged, obama needs to be ousted. in addition to cheap criticism that he's undermining jobs in ohio and pennsylvania.

again, jim, that's not a liberal thing. that's fracking which a lot of liberals, we have a lot of concerns about. so, in ohio, it is practically a must win for romney. tossup state. kasich tries to finesse the political dilemma by saying jobs have increased despite policies. this is the only thing david gregory stood up to him on. most of the jobs from from the auto rescue. romney was against. he said we fight like crazy to outperform the federal government. we're down to 7.4% unemployment. what? former governor ted strickland said the rescue of the auto industry was the biggest contributor to ohio's recent ohio growth. when romney -- pay off the labor unions showed a lack of understanding about this industry. >> stephanie: as the president said when he rescued the auto industry, they're also demanding it is the trickle down, the u.s. auto demanding more steel so ohio democrats, you know that's

another point against romney. all of the steel plants were doing nothing are working again. that's what the president was making the case when romney was making the case against it, all of the other industries are going to benefit if we save the american auto industry. anyway. yep. energy and automobile production are the two giants of the industrial section in ohio. so yeah. romney campaign must also cope with boasts by republicans and business leaders things are different. midwest has the economy on the right track said an update in the "columbus dispatch." it is leading the economic recovery. because of the president and the auto rescue! [ screaming ] nice try mittens. 58 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show."

i'm going to be on with the governor tomorrow night. she is awesome [ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: you caught me doing what i normally do during the break. that's feed jim ward grapes and fan him with my show prep. >> there's one grape on there. >> stephanie: he was hungry. all right. jacki schechner in the current news center. >> eww. >> stephanie: jacki, i count on you to bring the bad news and i bring the happy clappy news. i have mentioned the -- i haven't mentioned the hit and run. >> we've covered that a little bit over the past couple of hours. the latest news is he suffered a seizure.

it is a bizarre story. he hit two cars in three separate incidents and they said there was no drugs and alcohol involved. he has suffered a seizure. he's out of the hospital, has been given medication and is back in washington. >> stephanie: thanks for the update. in celebrity stack lindsay lohan hit a truck and there probably was something involved. shockingly, jacki schechner. i'll cover the hollywood beat. you cover the real stuff. >> you got it. it's deal. >> stephanie: it is the real jacki schechner in the current news center. >> good morning, everybody. as we've been talking about senior obama campaign advisor david axelrod continues to speak out on behalf of the president saying president obama knows there is more work to be done on the economy. that's why he held friday's press conference in the first place. it is the same excuse the president himself is giving as stephanie talked about putting forth the idea that the private sector is fine. a little bit of a misspeak there but of course, he understands it is not exactly where it needs to be. the romney campaign has wasted

no time latching on to the president's remark and putting out a web video today attaching the fine remark to the disappointing may jobs report and the spite uptick in unemployment. the obama campaign firing back pointing out romney's assault on public workers is nothing new for the man whose state ranked 47th out of 50th when he was governor of massachusetts. >> our cities were not safe. not as clean. larger class sizes. all all of the local services school, fire, police, all of the basic services we rely on are the poor for mitt romney's administration. in other news, voters in arizona are going to decide tomorrow who's going to fill gaby giffords' seat in congress. ron barber is up against kelly. giffords campaigning over the weekend in arizona on behalf of barber but only speaking briefly at a conference -- at a concert to say thank you to supporters. her husband, mark kelly calls

tomorrow's election a closure on her tenure in congress. democrats are hopeful. back with more after the break. so this is anti-public employee anti-unions, against all working families. republicans have declared war on you. >> this is the bill press show.

after the commercial. >> it is a combination of low self-esteem, low blood sugar and missing red wine with my -- and mixing red wine with my painkillers.

♪ katrina and the waves ♪ >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: i'm here. it is "the stephanie miller show." i'm here. i am startled to be here after sexy liberal weekend in boston. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] jim, i could have guessed what the entire audience -- someone

who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions someone who cares about the welfare of the people, new ideas. their housing health, civil rights, someone who believes we can break through the things that grip us. i'm a liberal. who said that? [ buzzer ] okay, that was john fitzgerald kennedy. great son of massachusetts. where are my rock star cheers? congressman alex grayson did a panel for us and got a standing ovation for walking and sitting. [ cheering ] >> did he get to guess the quote right? >> stephanie: the whole audience yelled. really smart audience. [ applause ] >> kennedy mispronounced the

word -- >> using the article which is not necessary. if you say you're from somewhere in germany it is -- berliner. obviously you're not seven berliners but it is also a jelly doughnut. >> kind of like i'm danish doesn't mean i'm a danish. >> i'm a cleese filled -- i'm a cheese-filled confection. >> stephanie: he brings all of the smart stuff. i bring the fart jokes. you know what i found about out boston? they can take a joke that was dirty and -- at the same time. that was practice for all of the [ bleep ] jobs he was going to give the big banks. the reform. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] whoa, ladies and gentlemen! >> stephanie: good time was had by all. current tv, we had a jib. we filmed it for the

documentary. >> i would like people to know what a jib is. it is an arm that carries a camera. >> stephanie: it sweeps over the audience. >> talking that tv terminology. >> i would like to go to your jib. that's what it is. >> stephanie: so we were there for history. it will be in the documentary on sexy liberal on current tv network. thank you, everybody. [ applause ] oh, that's right! up next, oh, my god. l.a. is crazy. the tickets are almost gone for the end of july. >> this is a special call out to all of you l.a. progressives out there. a short distance dedication. the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour is coming back to hollywood california. >> holy, hollywood! ♪ in the club ♪ >> on saturday, july 28th, the world famous pantages theatre will host our generation's greatest comedy trio with john fuglesang, hal sparks and featuring radio and television

star, stephanie miller. tickets are currently available online at ticketmaster.com. at the pan tables theatre box office or by calling 1-800-steph-12. a portion of the evening's proceeds will be donated to the trevor project. that's the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour, july 28th at the pantages theatre. the countdown to july 28th to the sexy liberal tour starts now! >> wow! >> get to see john fuglesang at the panty phages. >> stephanie: somebody mispronounceiated which is normally my job. speak of sexy liberals. because a lot of pictures up at sexy liberal facebook. one of all of us from behind. on panel. i saw it on the sexy liberal facebook. a lot of people are talking about the unfortunate pashmina

incident in which i was photographed with cher wearing a wrinkled green pashmina. victoria writes, like you i'm almost 60. [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] >> stephanie: by-och. i'm not almost 60. >> caller: the stills on the machine but i'm sure many of your talented sexy liberal members could do something with that unfortunate pashmina and the otherwise lovely photo of you and cher. remember when there were pictures of the interweb of people wearing aretha franklin's hat. just block out the green and photo shop dolly parton's body under your head. someone did. make the pashmina black. >> now it looks like a giant floating head. >> it is cher and the giant floating head. >> that's what it is.

unfortunate incident all the way around. really, you're going to wear that? woo. look away. >> love letters from republicans. new features. republican who loves my show. jeff writes steph, since i found you on a.m. 1480 in freaks -- hello! in phoenix. i'm becoming an everyday listenerring. i find you and the crew amusing. i disagree with 95% of the crap you talk about but i find it entertaining. >> two plus two equals four. >> bull! >> >> stephanie: keep up the work and hopefully you'll have a republican president in congress to kick around. [ applause ] >> well actually george w. bush did provide a lot of fodder for us. >> stephanie: please it's not worth it. maybe if there is a vice president bobby jindal which was breaking news because apparently

they're vetting him. please. we might have the first ever exorcism in the rose garden. we could have -- mrs. jindal, you know. hi, i'm the vice president's wife. >> no. >> what if he tried to like exorcise demons out of angela merkel. that would cause an international incident. >> stephanie: i know. her spin will be spin -- her head will be spinning around. not since george h. threw up on somebody has there been such comedy potential. peeing on the carpet. honey, come sit down. >> stephanie: i have a photographic memory for every scene in the exorcist. >> i've seen it once. [ applause ] >> stephanie: ron paul and

rand paul, it is all for rand then he hangs himself out a window. so rand. hey sexy, a quick note from a loyal listenerring who you would characterize a conservative republican. i connected you with your father in your interview with mark shriver last week. my dad ran for vice president with barry goldwater. your show makes me smile. even though i rarely agree with any of your political views. scott from los angeles who also enjoys the crap. >> i hope he jindal tries to exorcise bachmann. ♪ you'll be swell ♪ ♪ you'll be great ♪ ♪ going to have the whole world on a plate ♪ >> stephanie: okay. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] why do smart kids grow up to be heavier drinkers? because we're not smart enough

to know what's going on in the world. you gotta numb that. >> weren't you valedictorian? >> salutatorian all because of donna bider not that i care. >> i hit a nerve! wow! >> stephanie: not that i hang on to things from the past why? she beat me by like a tenth of a point. >> one of the girls you had drinks with in buffalo? >> stephanie: oh no, i've had a lifelong bitterness about her. suggested correlation between intelligence and a thirst for alcohol. the more intelligent children in both studies grew up to drink more alcohol frequently than less intelligent children according to the author of one of the studies. >> to deaden the pain. >> stephanie: great food writes smart people booze so we can tolerate everyone else. when sober, we take people's responses at liberal face value. we can response a bit.

[ applause ] take right wing callers like billy in texas. you would drink, too. like that guy last week. wrote to run slat in my wounds. >> we fixated on that. >> stephanie: over the walker win in wisconsin. >> we didn't let that little bit of semantics slide. >> stephanie: fortunately bad spelling and grammar and a little booze is what helps me get through the hate letters. [ applause ] remember that one? you took a licking and you -- run slat in your wounds and by the way you can lick this. roof, good one! [ applause ] ouch! >> that hurt. >> stephanie: that's going to sting even without slat. >> you can kiss my butte. >> are you from montana? >> stephanie: this is why i do not get invited to give commencement speeches. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] because i'm so bitter. gawker brings us this story. downer commencement speaker.

you're not special or exceptional. teacher gave the most depressing commencement speech ever reminding seniors they're not as special as they think they are. >> debbie downer. >> stephanie: he said contrary to what your soccer trophy suggests that nice mister rogers, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you, you're nothing special. somebody in the audience at boston asked for you know, career advice for their kid. i don't know. listen. all i know is every time in my career -- >> go back to when there were careers. >> no more room in radio. slam. [ laughter ] my advice is good luck. >> i think it was forbes or something did a survey about the worst jobs in the world. number ten was broadcaster. >> stephanie: don't i know it.

as god shuts a door, he shuts a window, too. good night, everybody! [ ♪ circus ♪ ] but at least i'm not this woman. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] oh i just -- what more stories from walmart? woman detained for shoplifting from walmart cooks meth in the holding room. she was making meth, eating some food and making some meth. they put her in the -- she was in the -- >> in the walmart holding room? they have a holding room at walmart? [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: yeah. well, you remember the story, they caught somebody making meth in the aisle for four hours at walmart which means it must be really hard to get service if they don't notice someone making meth. a south st. louis county walmart was evacuated after a woman detained for shoplifting was making meth in the loss prevention office. while she was detained, she had a 20 ounce soda bottle in her purse that was cooking meth while in the holding room

because meth is known to -- [ explosion ] >> explode. the store was immediately evacuated and the hazmat team had to clean up the holding room. that's spectacular story. [ applause ] she didn't have an iphone or anything. i think i'll make meth while i'm waiting. >> nothing else to do. >> stephanie: not since the meth lab grew up in the guy's pants. [ explosion ] i'm not sure if that was at walmart. >> must have been on meth to think that having a meth lab in your pants is a good idea. >> at least steam didn't come up through the urinal and burn your junk like it did at any an arby's in colorado. yikes. >> stephanie: i guess we do know where the beef is. [ buzzer ] >> that's wrong. >> wendy's from the '80s. >> stephanie: i think it is best i take a break now. >> this is all very strange. >> i agree. something's not right. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show."

effect of it unlimited corporate funds, 7 to 1 against them. it became a ground game versus money. we had 50,000 volunteers, knocked on $1.4 million, made 1.5 million phone calls and they effect of it unlimited corporate funds, 7 to 1 against them. it became a ground game versus money. we had 50,000 volunteers, knocked on $1.4 million, made 1.5 million phone calls and they

and who doesn't want 50% more cash? ugh, the baby. huh! and then the baby bear said "i want 50% more cash in my bed!" phhht! 50% more cash is good ri... what's that. ♪ ♪ you can spell. [ male announcer ] the capital one cash rewards card. the card for people who want 50% more cash. what's in your wallet? ha ha.

♪ ♪

it's go time! >>every weeknight cenk uygur calls out the mainstream media. >>overwhelming majority of the county says: "tax the rich don't go to war."

♪ the boys are waiting ♪ ♪ my milk shake brings all of the boys to the yard ♪ ♪ damn right, it's better than yours ♪ my milk shake brings all of the boys to the yard ♪ >> stephanie: this current tv show is like russian roulette. you never know when the cameras are on. did they just miss that? >> they just missed that. >> stephanie: you were talking about the 14-year-old right wing host. >> we played the radio last week. there were 31 known homosexuals in his county in high school or something like that. he's back and he says that the homosexuals are trying to shut him down and then he compared

himself to rush limbaugh and glenn beck. >> stephanie: i said oh please, grow some hair on your [ bleep ] shut up until then. 1-800-steph-12. toll free from anywhere. sheila in new york, you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: hi, i'm the official portable pole of "the stephanie miller show." >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i would like to ask you for a title change. i'm polish and my birthday is the first of may. i would prefer to be the official may pole of "the stephanie miller show." [ ding ding ] secondly, i was at the show in boston. i drove up to boston for the show saturday night. let me say that between you and john and aisha, there was so much gorgeousness on the stage the three of you are so beautiful that if hal had been there, i think the building would have exploded. >> stephanie: sexy liberal meth lab. [ explosion ] >> caller: it was fabulous. well worth the drive. >> stephanie: how about that

alan grayson for a bonus on panel. how about that? >> caller: oh, my gosh, what a great guy. he's wonderful and so funny. >> stephanie: i got special -- after the show, went out for drinks and i fell asleep on his big, cuddly arm. it was pure bliss. >> caller: karl frisch, i had my picture taken with karl frisch and he gave me his business card. i'm going to e-mail it to him. >> stephanie: awesome sexy liberal night. sheila, thanks for making the drive. >> caller: sure. [ applause ] >> stephanie: there she goes. >> kermit flail. >> stephanie: yea! proving our 14-year-olds are better than theirs 14-year-olds from -- >> tel aviv. brandon from michigan is 14. hi brandon. >> caller: hi, how are you? >> stephanie: fine. how are you? >> caller: everything you're saying, i'm a liberal, i agree with everything you're saying. >> everything?

>> stephanie: you aren't the dump truck kid right? >> no. >> stephanie: oh well, brandon, thanks. >> caller: i agree with everything. >> stephanie: do you have any adult supervision? >> caller: my grandpa and grandma watch your show every day. now i agree with you. i'm going to watch. >> stephanie: join us. thank you, brandon. you're the smartest boy in class. >> caller: thank you. >> stephanie: grandma and grandpa are too old to care about what the kids are doing. >> there are some right home schoolers saying you're abusing the child. [hypnotic music] >> stephanie: everybody at news busters just exploded. mike in madison, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi mike. >> caller: hi, guys. i would like to give a different perspective for dave who called in about wisconsin. i'm assuming, dave, you had to a chance to hear the fake phone

call with the coach. i'm assuming you had a chance to also see him with the billionaire talking about attacking the unions to divide and conquer and i'm also assuming you saw him in congress admitting that collective bargaining did nothing for the state to balance the budget. and i just want to say to dave and a lot of the others, you were duped by a weasel. once this weasel is in the trap we'll have our "i told you so" moment in wisconsin but it won't be to run your nose in it. it will be to rebuild wisconsin and become a beacon for the world. >> stephanie: yea for you what a nice little speech that was. >> a long awaited sequel to "touched by an angel." he still ticked off the badgers. >> if he's not already in prison. er yeah, somebody called that the power tool that called from wisconsin. 29 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show."

>> romney you can take it. >> a new ad we will play for you when we come back here with lynn sweet, chicago sun times methderr death shiner from row call and bill cress part full-court press. you are welcome to join our conversation at 866-55-press. we will be right back. >> this is the bill press show.

>> what are you going to do with my life story? >> something humiliating. >> stephanie: this is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. not my life story but the life story of the sexy liberal tour filmed at the theatre in boston for a documentary which will air on the current television network. >> do we know when? >> stephanie: in the fall before the election. susan writes we were at the wilbur. it was cool that current was filming. once they edit out inappropriate for tv, won't they end up with a minute and a half long? >> pretty much. [ applause ]

>> stephanie: the current executive did say that was dirty. >> and the if and maybe. >> stephanie: oh dear. guess should have sent the scouts out beforehand. a little preplanning. [whatever] >> we'll all be fix lated. >> jim in west virginia. hi, jim. >> hi, stephanie, good morning. >> i just wanted to ask a question. remember back in the '60s with richard nixon, the whole thing that everybody kept screaming was the war on crime. the war on crime. he was going to put more people more police out on the streets. whatever happened to that? or the thing about -- how can we, as a nation, survive by the way they're saying oh well, we are going farther and farther in

debt and our children are going to pay for it but then again we're not spending any money on education. that's our future. >> stephanie: you're right. >> caller: i don't understand this. >> stephanie: exactly, when did this start? when did the war on teachers and once and firemen start? you're right. the republicans used to be the tough on crime party. it is incredible. in fact yeah, mittens said america doesn't need anymore firemen, policemen or teachers. >> can you believe that? in the last three years, the worst on record for public job loss. 700,000 government jobs no longer exist remain a large drag on the american economy. our unemployment rate would be a full point later. here is mittens on friday. >> the president of the united states to stand up and say the private sector is doing fine is going to go down in history. it is an extraordinary miscalculation and misunderstanding by a president who's out of touch and we're going to take back this and get america working again. >> by what?

hoarding money like the private sector is doing now and not investing in companies that create jobs? >> stephanie: charlie in massachusetts points this out. while the republicans running around with their hair on fire over obama's remark about the private sector, somebody should point out the stock market is making new highs and corporate profits are setting records. they're doing fine. >> they aren't giving each other bonuses. >> stephanie: they aren't hiring because the republicans to commit actions that would increase demand. the two sectors in bad shape the public sector, teachers, cops firemen not being rehired because republicans refuse to provide more state aid in construction while the republicans refuse to permit infrastructure spending. [ applause ] thank you. and i have the flat tire on my bike to prove it. do you know how many potholes there are near me? thank god i had a government worker come to my rescue last week if you heard my story about gilbert, the l.a. parks employee

who had to pick me up before i was about to be eaten by a mountain lion. he used to run a crew of 20 and now it is just him in a 4,000 acre park. >> he was the only employee in the park or something. >> stephanie: yes. i was the only gay in the village. there was no rescuing me. little damsel in distress. >> burgess meredith after the catastrophe. >> so much time. >> i'm sure you weren't the only gay in the village. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: there are other separate ones? what? >> have you heard that connection? >> stephanie: no. >> the canadian cannibal may have been responsible for the severed head. >> stephanie: near my house? >> yes! [ ding ding ] >> there might be a connection. [ applause ] >> stephanie: a connection? might be connected.

okay. >> he caught his head in the wood chipper. >> stephanie: speaking of comedy. check this out from mittens. >> i think he's defining what it means to be detach and out of touch with the american people. >> look in the mirror, pal. >> stephanie: who could possibly be more in touch with the real person in america. all right. mitch. >> the president must be on another planet. we saw the jobs figures last friday. >> i don't think i heard a word he said, actually. can we play that again? >> the president must be on another planet. you just saw the jobs figures last friday. >> stephanie: you're right. we know what he was going to say. [ applause ]

i have 25% irish and 75% chardonnay blood. the point is the people there don't care, god bless them. it is not hurting her in the polling. it is still, as i said earlier, tighter than a cat's ass. >> don't use our super secret production -- >> stephanie: our sexy liberal plug money went to finance warren. that was our sexy liberal cause in boston. elizabeth warren actually she was saying scott brown wants to talk about anything except how he votes. he keeps talking about this stupid cherokee heritage thing which nobody cares about. scott brown knows if we talk about the economy, he's in big trouble in massachusetts. recent polls show it has not affected her favorability ratings. one of the tightest contests. at net roots romney wants to repeal financial reform. people concerned about incoming inequality claims they're people. she went on to say no, mitt, corporations aren't people. they have hearts, kids, they get

sick, they love, they cry they dance, they live, they die learn the difference. >> give me the rock star cheers for elizabeth warren. she said -- or not. she said progressives understand that markets are like footballs. every game needs rules and a referee with a whistle. without rules, it isn't football. it is a mugging. oh! bam! she jabbed scott brown for reportedly shielding banks after voting for wall street overhaul. it is time for the american people to reengage on this and say no more. >> by the way, the current chief of the cherokee nation, 1/32nd cherokee like elizabeth warren so shut the f up. >> stephanie: see how i queued you there to stop the music and it was coming out of my own box. >> music out of the box. >> call ripley's. >> stephanie: you know it is a hangover monday when i don't know what's coming out of my own box. >> you have applause coming out

of your box. >> stephanie: i do. i learned that in thailand if things are particularly good, i know how to applaud. i'm polite that way. >> there's the applause again. >> small audience. >> stephanie: out with the ping-pong ball. okay. speaking of no mass, latinos are saying no mass. according to a new poll, obama leads 66% to 23%. >> that's a large margin. no wonder they're making such unprecedented efforts to suppress the latino vote. i read a story this weekend that the other thing is in terms of turnout, latino turnout is notoriously low. part of it is because of the fear that gets instilled by republicans. even legal immigrants are going to somehow get in trouble. that's going to be a big battle in the race to get latino turnout. romney of course, hard right on immigration during the republican primary.

>> romney has picked up his outreach to latino voters. even discussing immigration at all. [ applause ] >> probably just by speaking awkward spanglish. hola. >> oh, pedro. >> dressage horses. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: oh, i love this! except marco rubio, his only answer. [ applause ] he's been putting out statements. in spanish and english. mitt romney will stop the attacks on job creators, blah, blah. he's ratcheting up the rhetoric for cuban voters. he recently bashed the white house for granting a travel visa to raoul castro's daughter. good job mittens. you're much more in touch. >> nim rod.

stop pretending all hispanic people are exactly alike. from guatemala and mexico and cuba. >> stephanie: alberto gonzales says rubio is unqualified to be vice president. >> i never thought i would hear that name again. >> stephanie: jillian in seattle said i guess it takes an appointee to spot a tokens appointee. >> stephanie: thanks, torture czar. >> alberto gonzalez, wow. >> stephanie: can you please take your organ out, vice president bobby jindal for comedy purposes. we lost all of our good comedy jinkies. i want him to be the pick just to hear chris matthews go oh, god. yeah, bobby jindal spoke in chicago. he said the private sector is so foreign to obama he criticized him for staying out of the wisconsin recall. which mitt romney also stayed

out of. the most liberal most incompetent since jimmy carter. >> huh? >> there's so much wrong with that. it is almost impossible to diagram it. >> stephanie: i know. the private sector is so foreign to him, he might need a passport to go visit. that's funny. >> that's crazy talk! [ explosion ] >> stephanie: what's that? what just happened behind me? >> liquid hot magma. >> stephanie: uh, yeah, he might need a translator to help him talk to folks in the private sector. [ applause ] >> stephanie: okay. >> the private sector is hoarding money. they're sitting on tons of money. >> stephanie: he could we could have exorcisms in the rose garden if we have bobby jindal. >> magic underwear and exorcisms, that will be great. >> stephanie: right back with celebrity stack on "the

stephanie miller show." [ whistle ] >> that's a lot of zeros. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show." better salary and bargain for better benefits. so this is anti-public employee anti-unions, against all working families. republicans have declared war on you. >> this is the bill press show. the new slogan should be "we own better salary and bargain for better benefits. so this is anti-public employee anti-unions, against all working families.

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what the current audience can expect from my show is the unexpected. >>stephanie miller challenges the system, now it's your turn.

>>it's a little bit of magic. >>connect with "talking liberally with stephanie miller" at facebook.com/stephaniemillershow and on twitter at smshow. ♪ my sherona ♪ >> stephanie miller. ♪ my, my, my, my, woo ♪ >> stephanie: 50 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. scott in madison you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi scott.

>> caller: hey, stephanie, how are you? >> stephanie: good, go ahead. >> caller: i called about security guard in downtown madison and i know that i sounded a little drunk in the past but i wanted to assure you before i make the commentary here that i'm sober so far. >> stephanie: that's good. >> caller: okay. you know, a lot of people have -- >> stephanie: did you just blow into the phone? so you can prove that? >> caller: can you hear me any better? >> stephanie: just blow into the phone. >> caller: i'm not going to do that. >> stephanie: trying to see if he was drunk. trying to get a breathalyzer. >> caller: the problem is i've already had a drink. >> stephanie: see? you're disqualified! see? because i knew if he did blow into the phone, he would be drunk. what kind of idiot does that? [ buzzer ] >> we can smell it. we have the technology. >> stephanie: all right, the latest scandal de jure is leaks from the intelligence.

okay, first of all righters that wrote it said it didn't come from the white house. the president yesterday. >> the notion that my white house would purposely release classified national security information is offensive. >> stephanie: yep. then he talked about mechanisms in place the president yesterday. >> obama: we have mechanisms in place where if we can root out folks who have leaked, they will suffer consequences. in some cases, it is criminal. >> stephanie: gee, jim i don't remember. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] didn't someone in some administration not only leak information but did it for partisan purposes out of the c.i.a. which would be treason if you were -- [ applause ] >> we've got -- what? commuted. >> stephanie: got the sentence commuted. scooter libby sadly for our jingle writers did not go to

jail. we were very -- we were disappointed on a number of levels, weren't we? >> maybe i don't have it. >> stephanie: maybe you don't have it anymore. ♪ libby libby, libby is going to jail, jail, jail ♪ ♪ he will take it in the tail tail, tail ♪ ♪ libby had some power, power power, power ♪ ♪ better hold on to the soap in the shower shower, shower ♪ >> stephanie: oh dear. probably best that you lost that. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> great. >> stephanie: here's more good ideas from mittens. romney energy plan includes drilling in every part of the united states including no protections for national parks. wow! >> eww! >> stephanie: yikes. he said he would open up virtually every part of u.s. lands and waters regardless whether they're national parks or national monuments or protected. >> they want to put an oil derrick right next to the statue of liberty. >> stephanie: oil behind

lincoln's face. >> behind katie roosevelt's face. >> stephanie: lincoln, they won't drill through. >> they'll drill another hole in lincoln's head. >> stephanie: hey, oh, no. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> there has been plenty of time. >> teddy roosevelt created the national parks. that is wrong on so many levels. >> stephanie: that's how partisan they are. only drill through the democrat's head. >> they were republicans both roosevelt and -- >> >> stephanie: republicans continue to be douches. republicans in the house yesterday attached an antiabortion rider to a homeland security spending bill. >> really? >> stephanie: the provisions do nothing to change existing policy. it is unlikely to pass the senate. it is seen as sending an election year message to the conservative constituents. >> it is a dog whistle. >> what do they do if they're nuclear missiles cause

spontaneous abortions in people. >> stephanie: the rider would prevent immigration ice from funding abortions for illegal immigrants in custody according to an ice spokesperson, they have never paid for abortion services. it is a completely -- i was talking about this earlier today. the breaking news over the weekend. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] mitt romney, i just came from massachusetts, he was more pro-choice than ted kennedy then, remember? so now he keeps calling the morning after pill, the abortion pill. the new science is it delays ovulation. so the egg can't be fertilized. so there's not even an embryo. >> what does science have to do with a medical procedure? >> stephanie: that's how anti-science and an toy choice they are. >> are you judging the sperm's intent? i saw the way you were look at that egg. close enough to abortion. >> bent over a pinball machine. [ applause ] >> where do you plug it in? >> stephanie: it is a wonder we can even continue today what

with the news here in hollywood. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] storekeeper sam drucker of the green acres has died at the age of 96. >> no relation to mort drucker of mad magazine. >> stephanie: no. that reminded us of my failed sitcom, mike and rocky mountain mike sent us. ♪ ♪ stephanie miller is the place to be ♪ ♪ charming liberals are the ones for me ♪ ♪ spreading out so far and wide ♪ ♪ just give me that box of wine ♪ ♪ right-wing world i would rather stay ♪ ♪ i get allergic around the gays ♪ ♪ i just enjoy to watch fox news ♪ ♪ darling, i love you but give me my narrow views ♪

♪ white folks ♪ ♪ white guys ♪ ♪ some lie ♪ ♪ you aren't my wifey ♪ ♪ good-bye bill o'reilly ♪ ♪ steph miller, we are there ♪ [ applause ] >> stephanie: you ready to say again? lindsay lohan got in a car accident. again! >> have you seen the pictures? >> she crashed her porsche into an 18-wheeler and she claimed the truck cut her off. >> uh, yeah, a lot of front end damage. >> trucks are notoriously more maneuverable than a porsche. >> really? >> stephanie: see, that made up for car talk getting canceled. >> i'm so upset about that. >> don't drive like lindsay. >> stephanie: that story does not mesh with events. the truck driver telling tmz, it looked like she was trying to

flee the scene. he tried to exchange information with lohan who he claimed i did not recognize. the driver intervened offering to go to a bank and withdraw money. the driver took me across the street and told me there was a famous person didn't want to be in the media. i already called 911 because they were trying to get away from the scene. they packed a bag and the limo driver told me don't mention the bag to the cops. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: all right. wow, we have celebrity stack. we didn't get to that we'll have to get to tomorrow on the big show. john that volta made his first appearance. he looked tense. maybe he could get a massage. [ buzzer ] that's it for us. we'll see you tomorrow on "the stephanie miller show."