>> stephanie: good friday. everybody. oh jacki schechner thank your lucky stars jim ward is late as usual, this will be your last grope-free day because starting monday jacki schechner will be joining us live here in studio. >> will i get the protective plexiglas? >> stephanie: yes. you will be the girl in the protective bubble. and then three hours later, they are airing us again. why? because we're wildly popular because of jacki schechner. >> that is not true.

>> stephanie: on today's show we have a friend of mr. and mrs. potus. here she is my bff winter spring summer and fall. [ bell chimes ] >> happy friday everybody. president obama is going to be sitting down with mtv's sway they will do that interview at 5:00 eastern, and air it three hours later so they can incorporate reaction. a harvard poll out earlier this month shows the number of likely young voters is down about 15% since 2008 but this only means the problems will problem bring be back where they were in 2000. the obama campaign get out the youth vote and women's vote is

getting a little help from the show of "girls." >> the consequences are huge. you want to do it with the guy who brought the troops out of iraq. >> she talks about how important it is to find a man who cares about your birth control. and here is tina faye. >> i wish we could have an honest and respectful dialogue about these complicated issues but it seems like we can't right now. and if i have to listen to one more gray-faced man with a $2 haircut explain to me what rape is, i'm going to lose my mind. [ laughter ] >> amen sister. we are back after the break. stay with us.

of sununu, you're wrong. mitt romney, you're wrong. we need more teachers, not fewer teachers and more cops and more firefighters that support our

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>> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> the "stephanie miller show" is brought to you in part by the last open road? where is the last open road? what is the last open road? go to lastopenroad.com. >> stephanie: yay, hooray. happy friday everybody. it is the "stephanie miller show." stephaniemiller.com, you are email us all there. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. actress comedienne julie brown,

the one with the fabulous cleavage -- >> she has a hilarious new video where she imitates victoria brown. >> stephanie: and also music legend james taylor. >> wow. >> stephanie: sometimes i impress myself. >> i understand he has seen fire and he has seen rain. [ applause ] >> stephanie: very very exciting. james taylor. his music makes me cry -- >> makes you cry? >> stephanie: because we all

have a james taylor memory. >> oh. did you kiss your high school boyfriend to this? >> stephanie: no, i dry humped bread, as we all know. haven't we all been paying attention -- >> i thought you said bread. >> yeah. >> stephanie: actual loaf of bread. there was no boyfriend involved just me and the bread. and it was wonder bread, and it was too soft to get any traction really. >> who needs a boy when you have bread. >> stephanie: right? >> yeah. >> stephanie: okay. >> james taylor just hung up -- he canceled. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: hey, guess what we do have we have a par-tay. new york city it's the big one tomorrow night at the beacon. i was just talking to roland

before the show. i used to live right there and the fact that i'm going to play at the beacon theater it's kind of exciting. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> stephanie: rachel says, hey we're coming to see you all the way from northwestern new hamster. new hamster-its are coming. hi, steph last year i had tickets to sexy liberal but ended up having an accident putting me in the hospital. despite that i'll be at the show tomorrow, oh, please grope me. i'll be in my wheelchair. can't wait to see you after all

of these years. >> stephanie: darren i can't wait to see you! [ applause ] >> stephanie: it is different all the time because the news changes. i woke up this morning and john sununu already said something stupid. it's like lucy andethel in the chocolate factory. >> tom hartman here and in my opinion there is nothing sexier than being a liberal. and when i say sexy liberal four names come to mind the stars of the most successful political comedy tour in history. new york this is comedy news that you need to know. these wildly popular progressives are coming to you live. >> do it live! ♪ hot child in the city ♪ >> right before the presidential

election the sexy liberal comedy tour will perform live on stage at the world famous beacon theater. new york don't miss your chance to experience political comedy history. kind of like fdr in a thong! well, maybe not like that. it's the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour live at the beacon theater. >> stephanie: thank you tom hartman. >> and just in time for the storm of the century. >> stephanie: i'm flying right into the storm. it is not supposed to hit until monday though. >> all right. >> stephanie: 2700 seats at the beacon beacon, and we are this close to a sellout.

[ applause ] >> stephanie: and then roland and i will be sharing a hotel again even though he lives there. >> that's weird. >> stephanie: i know we're like sexy liberal queerbates. >> you have pillow fights? >> stephanie: yes. >> does he wear like the 1950 man pajamas. >> man jamas. >> stephanie: as you recall no, because i saw his -- >> you saw his junk. >> stephanie: yeah, i have posttest posttestcall stress syndrome. so there's no difference now when official romney surrogates and completed right-wing lunatics like donald trump

and -- >> cuban born john sununu does not think that obama is american enough. >> stephanie: i heard that this morning. [ inaudible ] said someone was listening on bridge with headsets on and she screamed so loud she almost fell off the bridge when she won sexy liberal tickets. [ screaming ] >> stephanie: steph, yesterday i read the letter to ann coulter from the handicapped olympian i actually started to cry because of what this wonderful man has had to put up for the last four

years. i cried yesterday because i was shamed of the blatant racism these people spew out. i can't stand it anymore. [ applause ] >> stephanie: in the course of one day -- the -- and again there doesn't seem to be any daylight now between right-wing lunatics like ann coulter and -- >> and how is that not playing the race card? >> stephanie: all right. >> wait until you hear what rush limbaugh has to say about colin powell in the right-wing world. [ sighs ] >> stephanie: see, there is no difference between john sununu the top surrogate of mitt romney -- mitt romney will not disavow richard mourdock or

donald trump -- >> are you sure it's not the bottom instead of the top? [ buzzer ] >> excuse me? >> stephanie: john louise. the president on the campaign trail. >> i don't think any politician in washington, most of whom are male, should be making healthcare decisions for women. [ cheers and applause ] >> stephanie: by the by -- [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: i know everybody is frustrated with the polls at this point, but the national journal as romney' raced the gender gap? there is one poll -- some of these polls have to be outlayers. they just are, right? >> uh-huh. >> stephanie: i saw that one too, and i was like what?

either women will boost president obama or they are turning away in droves. both are possible if you are looking at the most recent polls. the new ap poll shows mitt romney tied with obama among women voter. and the newest "washington post" abc news pole shows obama with a 15-point advantage. gallup polls have him up 8. "wall street journal" shows him up 8 among women. the ppp polling has him up by 12. >> uh-huh. [ inaudible ]

>> stephanie: and her immediate family. >> her immediate gay family? >> stephanie: yeah. i don't know. >> they are the east german judge. you just have to throw that one out. >> stephanie: yes, the east german judge is always wrong. >> right. >> stephanie: lots to get to. seventeen minutes after the hour right back on the "stephanie miller show." >> well, i guess that makes our naughty parts tingle. >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪

smiles make more smiles. when the chocolate is hershey's. life is delicious.

[ music ]

♪ you got a piece of me [ inaudible ] ♪ ♪ my life would suck without -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> stephanie: jim is so utterly predictable. i said in a purely political sense, melissa fitzgerald said i have a bust with debbie wasserman schultz, blah blah blah, and love me. >> everybody does. >> stephanie: we are on the bus this morning. and we would like to talk to we or her -- and i said yes, t-bone get your not nuns on the bus. and jim makes the same sound every time he sees a picture of melissa fitzgerald.

>> ummm. >> stephanie: yeah. >> it is because she is so sweet and nice and wonderful -- >> stephanie: yeah roland said he has dinner once with julianna margales, and he said i'm gay and i wanted to have sex with her. he didn't -- >> no he didn't even show her his -- >> stephanie: no. no. he was like do you want to see my big gay -- junk. >> he would have to put her in the corner first. >> stephanie: yeah. hey, karl you are on the "stephanie miller show." >> caller: two things, we are very stupid as an electorate or

the hatred for this black man in the white house would be like okay. we're going to put a liar in because we hate him. >> stephanie: yeah, that's what i hear everybody say, how can this even be close? and there has to be a lot more obama derangement syndrome out there than we are aware of. because i don't know anyone that likes mitt romney. >> caller: no. they don't trust him. and i listened to the guy that came out and called mormonism a cult and everything. and he supported romney. and it is like dude you just called his religion a cult and you are going to go against god and vote him in anyway. so that lets me know right off of the top what this is all about. it's not about politics it's

about a black man in the white house. >> stephanie: yeah it's sad. >> and you have to question the methodology of pollsters if they are just calling old white men -- >> stephanie: right. obama is ahead 60 points among latinos, in post polls, about 15 among women -- literally -- what was it 98 percent to zero, among african-americans, you are saying how could they be close? you figure out why. that's what is making the polls seem tied nationally. >> uh-huh. >> stephanie: let's go to bill in michigan. >> caller: hi stephanie, if we buy into the stupid theory that mourdock has that rape is god's

intent then we have no need for courts. >> stephanie: yeah. why don't we just make it legal now. i love the way the president said it rape is rape period. it is a crime. >> yeah, pearl harbor was god's will. >> stephanie: yeah the holocaust was god's will. it is a crime. you don't inject god into -- >> no, you don't. >> stephanie: robert in fort wayne, indiana. hi, robert. >> caller: hi. two things right quick in indiana where i'm at in fort wayne, it seems like the polls is rigged to not allow minorities to vote. that's one thing here and the other thing is i just can't

understand why in god's earth would anybody want to go backwards to what we just came out of. >> stephanie: yeah, we covered all of the places and ways that they are trying to suppress the vote. do not let them. they are deliberately putting out misleading stuff. by the way if you just tuned in you can't vote by phone anywhere. they are trying that. >> right. you can find out all of that information by going to got tavote.com. >> stephanie: right. and they are putting up billboards, you can't even keep track -- and i'm like if you think mitt romney is such a great candidate, why so many dirty tricks in the end. >> yeah. >> stephanie: robert in illinois

you are on the "stephanie miller show." oh, robert. oh, dear. [ wah wah ] >> they got away with it in 2000 and 2004. >> stephanie: they didn't last time because there was such great turnout. the president on the campaign trail. >> obama: i told you i would end the war in iraq. i did. i said we would transition out of afghanistan, and we are. i said we would go after those who actually attacked us on 9/11. our heros are coming home. i kept those promises. [ applause ] >> stephanie: thank you, mr. president. oh, by the way, mr. in touch with the real people. top romney advisor has a new way of -- if you are poor. if you own a microwave you are

not really poor. >> wow. >> stephanie: he denied the income inequality gap, lower income americans are buying more consumer -- how much is a microwave now? >> a dollar. >> no you can get one for less than 50 bucks. >> stephanie: the percentage of low-income households with microwave ovens grow to 79.4%. slackers. if you are not cooking on a fire pit in the alley, you have too much money. right back on the "stephanie miller show." to miss my show is if that's the only time you can get to a polling place. make sure that voting is your highest priority on election day. besides, you can always dvr my

show. you really cant' dvr the future of the country. to help you make informed decisions, watch current tv's politically direct lineup. only on current tv. so vote and vote smart.

just tacos. yeah, it's our job to make you want it. but honestly... it's not that hard. old el paso. when you gotta have mexican. [ woman ] ring. ring. progresso. in what world do potatoes, bacon and cheese add up to 100 calories? your world. ♪ ♪ [ whispers ] real bacon... creamy cheese... 100 calories... [ chef ] ma'am [ male announcer ] progresso. you gotta taste this soup. then how'd i get this... [ voice of dennis ] ...allstate safe driving bonus check? what is that? so weird, right? my agent, tom, said... [ voice of dennis ] ...only allstate sends you a bonus check for every six months you're accident-free... ...but i'm a woman. maybe it's a misprint. does it look like a misprint? ok. what i was trying... [ voice of dennis ] silence. ♪ ♪ ask an allstate agent about the safe driving bonus check. are you in good hands?

[ ♪ music ♪ ]

>> sometimes stuff just happens, and there is nothing you can do about it, for example -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. . >> -- hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade because no matter how much you apologize, you can't go back and undry hump somebody's boyfriend. >> stephanie: i just used a microwave, which means i am not poor. a top romney advisor said there is no income inequality in the country, because the percentage of households having microwaves has increased. 75% of low-income americans now

have a cell phone. [♪ dramatic music ♪] >> and a tv with a remote. >> stephanie: seriously. google how much a microwave is. i can get one here in about 14 minutes for i don't know -- >> i'll pay you to take this off my hands. >> stephanie: everyone has a microwave they want to get rid of that they have had since college. >> it was only like three years ago i got rid of the microwave i had since college. >> wow. >> seriously. it was a kenmore it lasted. >> stephanie: i must be paying him too much if he can afford a microwave. janna, go ahead. >> caller: hi guys. love your show ever since this benghazi thing happened, i can't

let off of my feelings that we should follow the money here. cross roads, or the koch brothers gave the money to the libbians to start this mess to embarrass the president straight through -- >> stephanie: i think you might have lost me on that conspiracy theory. there is a few things going on. by the way we were joking yesterday -- [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: after colin powell endorsed the president, condoleezza rice might too. did you -- but you know what you have to give her -- she is not one of the wing-nut republicans. she pored cold water on benghazi-gate. i love when this happens on fox news and they are like -- >> that's when they start

calling her a liar. >> stephanie: condoleezza rice -- [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: party last night as she tried to hit the breaks on the recent attack in libya. the conservative media jumped on the emails as definitive proof that the obama administration has been lying. rice's response was likely not what was expected -- [ wah wah ] >> if someone is going to be going off of the reservation on fox news because usually do it on her show, because it on late at night. >> stephanie: right. when things are unfolding really, really quickly, it is hard to know what is really

going on on the ground. so there's a big picture to be examined here, but we don't have all of the pieces. it's probably better to let the relevant bodies do their work. >> thank you. >> stephanie: with multiple stories coming in which need to be processed and a verifies it is understanding what happened in benghazi. [ applause ] >> stephanie: thank you condy. just go all the way and endorse obama. you know she spent half of that foreign policy debate with her head in her hands. going oh my god. >> yeah. >> bleep stick.

>> i don't think she used the term bleep stick. >> stephanie: i think she did. >> all right. two against one. >> stephanie: there is not a former or current secretary of state that could not have called him a [ censor bleep ] stick. good morning [ inaudible ]. >> caller: good morning. i was thrilled to find out jacki schechner was my sore sorority sister. [overlapping speakers] >> caller: we would be so pleased and proud, stephanie if you were one of our sisters. but thank you for having them on together. the three of us are redeeming the good name of our sorority. i'll tell you why -- >> stephanie: why? >> caller: get in your preferred

barf position two of our members were elizabeth dole and lynn the dick's wife -- >> stephanie: oh, wow. >> caller: talk about doubling down with those two. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: all right. thank you. >> caller: you have a lovely morning. >> stephanie: all right. bye-bye. why is that demeaning? >> it implies that they are easy. it's -- >> stephanie: what? >> yeah, that song has never been complementary. >> stephanie: there could be other forms of help that they are offering. >> not in college. >> stephanie: let's ask jacki schechner. >> when you said that to them that day, i think jacki said -- yeah, we heard that before. >> the try-delts did not sing

that song. >> stephanie: oh well then that was horribly offensive of me. [ inaudible ] >> stephanie: he threw in some dorothy parker there. [♪ circus music ♪] >> stephanie: jacki schechner is throwing things at the current tv now. gail in syracuse good morning. >> caller: good morning. hi. as a rape survivor what these idiotic republican men are saying -- you know it's just doing a number on women like myself. now mind you i'm a christian, and also pro life but what they are doing is wrong and i can't get past it. >> stephanie: yeah. >> caller: it's evil and despicable and for them to say it's god's will. >> stephanie: i know. it's beyond dispicketable.

gail thank you for that. did you see tina faye? she said i wish we could have an honest and respectful dialogue about these complicated issues but it seems we can't. and if i have to listen to one more gray-faced man with a $2 haircut talk about birth control, i am going to lose my mind. now i can't even finish this sentence without getting dumber. it's something about the body not being able to get pregnant when it is under physical stress. i think you are confusing the phrase legitimate rape with competitive gymnastics. [ applause ] >> stephanie: the president yesterday. >> obama: we have to keep on

keeping on. [ cheers ] >> obama: until every single person out there who needs to vote is going to go vote. >> stephanie: yeah. get it. colin powell endorsing the president. >> i voted for him in 2008 and i plan to stick with him in 2012. >> he is just doing it because he's black. >> stephanie: shouldn't mitt romney have fired this guy. he said the president was not really american, he said he was stupid and lazy -- >> he is speaking to the racist base of the republican party. >> stephanie: colin powell. >> the governor who was speaking at the debate was saying things that were quite different from what he said earlier. >> yeah. >> stephanie: he has an elegant way --

>> elegant way of saying etch-a-sketch. >> obama: general powell is somebody who during course of these four years has come in occasionally and given me advice. he is somebody who people recognize as having a steady breadth of knowledge both foreign and domestic. so for him to provide an endorsement like that means a lot. >> imagine how different the world would be if colin powell would have been president instead of w. >> stephanie: yeah. you might have dust off your it's a wonderful life again. mike you are on the "stephanie miller show." >> caller: hi, stephanie pleasure to talk to you. >> stephanie: you too. >> bill: i know you guys talked about the last debate. what it really showed to me is

how unready mitt romney is to take office and lead this country. >> stephanie: yeah it was like he was reading briefing notes on something he doesn't really understand. >> caller: yeah, it seems like that on everything. what i think he tried to do was scare the american public with a nuclear iran. >> stephanie: yeah. he might need to figure out where it is first. >> that would help. by the way jacki schechner just tweeted, yeah, i'm fairly easy who are we kidding. [ applause ] >> wow, okay. >> stephanie: and i support her in that. >> so the song was accurate that you sang to her yesterday. >> i wouldn't be surprised.

>> stephanie: all right. forty-five minutes after the hour. right back on the "stephanie miller show." >> that happened and we all let it happen. >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ vote on november 6th but just as importantly to take the time to learn about each candidate's stance on the issues that matter to you. to help you make informed decisions, watch current tv's politically direct lineup. only on current tv. vote smart. our democracy depends on an informed electorate. from silver screens... to flat screens... twizzlerize your entertainment everyday with twizzlers the twist you can't resist.

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♪ ♪ roar past convention... ♪ ♪ shift every course... [ hawk cries ] defy the elements... ♪ ♪ and bring the world to its knees... ♪ ♪ it takes the new 2013 ram 1500 engineered to move heaven and earth. the road doesn't end here. this is only the beginning. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] guts. glory. ram. you've heard stephanie's views. >>no bs, authentic, the real thing. >>now, let's hear yours at the only online forum with a direct line to stephanie miller. >>the only thing that can save america now: current television. >>join the debate now.

(vo) john fugelsang sees what happens. >> you know, blaming this economy on barack obama is kinda like blaming your hangover on the guy making breakfast. i like mitt romney but i'm sorry. they guy has flipped more than a crack house mattress. this campaign has become so toxic, beverly hills housewives are now injecting it into their foreheads. (vo) so current gave him a weekly show. >> i love romney's debate style, but i tell you, if i could be that stiff for 90 minutes, i'd ... (vo) we probably won't regret it. [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie: it is the "stephanie miller show." producer chris has confirmed you can get a microwave for free on craigslist. >> yeah.

>> stephanie: you can get a lot of things free on craigslist. >> yeah? >> stephanie: a romney advisor said you are not poor if you have a microwave. >> sometimes that's the only method people have for cooking. >> stephanie: yes. you might have to go somewhere to pick up your free microwave though. >> some people might deliver it. >> stephanie: yeah, they are so desperate to get rid of their microwave. >> haven't you ever been desperate to get rid of your microwave -- >> stephanie: yes. >> after you tried to cook something in foil. >> stephanie: i did. i put it in the microwave in foil -- [ explosion ] >> stephanie: and that's why we're in a new studio because the old one is gone.

rachel in texas. >> caller: yes i'm just so upset the way they are going about libya -- i'm sorry, i'm nervous. >> stephanie: that's all right. there was talks of threats -- like the twin towers. they knew that possibly a plane would hit the twin towers. i watched the 9/11 heros, and that's one of the things they talked about. >> stephanie: right. >> caller: and it took two planes for bush to get off of his budget. >> stephanie: yeah exactly. >> caller: and then they said the -- i'm sorry i'm nervous. >> stephanie: that's right. [overlapping speakers] >> caller: and bush was told that could happen -- >> stephanie: exactly. it is clear they are giving us the best information that they had at the time.

>> the g-8 summit they put anti-aircraft missiles because they had warnings that al-qaeda might try to do that -- >> stephanie: which was on the paper that george bush barbecued at his ranch. >> stephanie: [ inaudible ] go ahead. >> caller: i have four daughters, and i understand what rape is about, and i am a mormon. my wife said if men could get pregnant abortion would be as easy to get as flu shots. >> stephanie: that's right. >> caller: if one of my

daughters got raped, stephanie, the bastard better hide. >> stephanie: exactly. mittens on the campaign trail. >> romney: the president has the same old answer. >> stephanie: apparently he hasn't read the pamphlet. >> stephanie: yeah. >> my plan is to make things better in a better way with freedom berries. >> stephanie: right. romney's budget math haunted. mitt romney promised again to get an balanced budget in eight to ten years as everybody has said over and over again, this math does not work. this guy is -- well, not a slick car salesman because he is not a

car guy. his running mate paul ryan who cut almost four times as much and still couldn't get his budget out of the red until 2040. >> was this before or after he ran the marathon in two seconds. >> stephanie: right. none of this math adds up. >> nope. >> stephanie: he literally thinks if he says it it must be true. let's go to deb. >> caller: hey lady. i am a little less angry than i was last week. i heard a tape of it later, and i went out and took a voice lesson. [ laughter ] >> caller: the reason i'm calling is to thank you so much. you, the other people on

current, jennifer granholm is just wondrous -- >> too bad about her looks. >> caller: and i go to wondering when i see jennifer granholm, and i don't even like blonds. the reason i'm calling is to thank mr. gore and his partner. because if -- there are emmys for cable -- >> stephanie: if there are, i smell one for us. >> can you imagine being mr. gore -- >> stephanie: no. i'm short several thousand brain cells -- >> caller: god. my husband and i have been talking to people who are republicans for the last few weeks, and we have told them about current and some of our neighbors -- this lady came over with a plate of cookies.

>> stephanie: that seems like a fair trade a plate of cookies for -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. thank you, honey. there is a whole [ censor bleep ] story in the "new york post" this morning. >> oh yes. >> stephanie: which says that current is up for sale which is not true. >> well you know, he owns another cable news network, so it is in his best interest to report false news about other cable news networks. good morning larry. >> caller: i was wondering why i should campaign at all the while the candidates won't even campaign down here in ignorant

land. >> there is only so much money to go around so they have to pick where it will matter the most. >> caller: when howard dean was dnc chairman they had a 50-state campaign policy that worked extremely well. >> stephanie: yeah. oh, i know. and i always gave him credit for that. but if you talk to any pollster the battle is going to be in the swing states. >> that's right. >> stephanie: we'll be back with julie brown and much more as we continue on the "stephanie miller show." ♪ ?d [♪ theme music ♪]

>> stephanie: no, jim. delta, delta, delta cannot help ya help ya help ya because they are not easy at all. good morning, jacki schechner. >> i'm easy but i'm not as easy as this guy. the guy who tattooed romney's logo on his phases. >> stephanie: that guy deserves mitt romney as president. >> he tattooed it on his forehead, but clearly he doesn't know where his forehead is because it's on his temple. >> stephanie: much like romney doesn't know where syria is. >> that's who is voting for mitt romney. >> stephanie: yeah, that's that guy. that's mitt romney's america.

in the meantime and news wise she can help ya help ya help ya. >> i can. good morning. president obama and president clinton with campaigning together on monk. they'll be in florida, ohio and virginia, and according to the obama campaign he'll go on to colorado and wisconsin and then swing back to you guessed it ohio and spend the day there on wednesday. mitt romney is in iowa today giving what he is calling a key economic speech at a company in aims iowa. think progress took a look at recovery.gov and look a look at the firms that benefit from stimulus money, and they are one of them. as thinkprogress points out there is a great hypocrisy in

romney giving this kind of speech at a business who got hundreds of thousands of dollars from the government. we have been talking about how this is going to be the most expensive presidential election in history and it is shaping up that way. president obama and the democrats have raised about $1.06 billion since the beginning of 2011. mitt romney and the republicans are at $954 million. according to the pew research senator, 10% of donations are being made via text message and cell phone app. this is fascinating since the campaigns have only been using this method since the end of august. we're back with more after the break. stay with us. ♪ to you. to help you make informed decisions, watch current tv's politically direct lineup.

only on current tv. vote smart. our democracy depends on an informed electorate. what we need are people prepared for the careers of our new economy. by 2025 we could have 20 million jobs without enough college graduates to fill them.

that's why at devry university we're teaming up with companies like cisco to help make sure everyone is ready with the know-how we need for a new tomorrow. [ male announcer ] make sure america's ready. make sure you're ready. at devry.edu/knowhow. ♪ ♪ rich, chewy caramel rolled up in smooth milk chocolate. don't forget about that payroll meeting.

rolo.get your smooth on. also in minis. [ ♪ theme music ♪ ]

>> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> the "stephanie miller show" is brought to you in part by our friend bert levi author of the last open road and other novels. go to lastopenroad.com. >> stephanie: starting monday they are repairing our show right after the original three hour hours. so we were saying it is more like a in the private sector or in massachusetts. he had the 47th worth job creation record. [ censor bleep ] block. kristin writes steph i was

talking to my coworker named bob. we were quietly discussing our love for obama, and how excited we were about the debate. out of nowhere he said have you heard of the stephanie miller show? if only i had known of our shared love? [ applause ] >> stephanie: get a ticket. and roland says can you say if you have a vip ticket when your ticket is scanned you'll get a fancy wristband. >> oh. >> stephanie: so there you go. cover your vip concerns. [ applause ] >> stephanie: and two huge surprise celebrity guests on panel. speaking of which, look who is here, actress comedian julie

brown. everybody pause and then they the funny one. how are you? >> i'm good. my son went to college for the first time so i'm like okay. i should start performing again. so my drag queen friend heckle-ina called me up and said how would you like to do this gay event. so i walk in and there is a guy dressed like a demon on a leash, and he jumped out at me and i was horrified, and i only made out with him like for a minute. and there were all of these heteros dressed in bondage gear. i'm looking for the stage.

and they go well the orgy room is up there, and i go no no no. so i finally did my act, but it was insane because there were three stages. [ applause ] >> stephanie: thank you for that story. and thank god i turned that gig down. she is having empty nest syndrome, she will do anything. >> anything. >> stephanie: you are the subject of internet buzz because you did the host hilarious video spoofing victoria jackson who you were saying did not used to be that crazy. >> she did not i did a show called strip mall about ten years ago. she was supposed to be a person who had a plate in her head, because she was perfect and things stuck to her head like a

magnet. but every so often she would don't a joke because jesus wouldn't like it. [ wah wah ] >> so it's like god, all right. but now -- now she has gone -- >> stephanie: yeah. >> into outer space. >> so does jesus like knock-knock jokes. >> stephanie: i told the story. i knew ann coulter and she was one of the many blond republican girls, and she would come to town and we would all go out to dinner, and at some point, she said i have to start saying crazier [ censor bleep ] to get on the air. >> yeah. >> stephanie: do we have the video? >> yes. >> stephanie: this is what has happened to victoria whether

she believes this thing or not -- >> yeah she said i would have the rape baby. like who would say that? >> stephanie: yes. >> is it on? oh, hi, this is victoria jackson spokes model for the tea party. the election is coming up, and do not vote for a obama for a multiplex of reasons. he is a communist, c, he is black, which you are not supposed to say, but it's obvious, and two he is all about gay rights gay this gay right, gay kissing on "glee." that's not to be every parent's worst nightmare for their kid to be gay. thank god i have daughters because they can't be gay. i would like to sing this song for you. i sat on a ukulele so i am going

to be playing a spatula. ♪ god made man he made woman too ♪ ♪ it was idea that every male should take a female for a meat ♪ ♪ at the bottom of the sea there's nothing funny going on between little boy clams ♪ ♪ don't make my child a homo ♪ ♪ don't let him be perverse ♪ ♪ don't like madonna ♪ ♪ or wear fransy frocks ♪ ♪ please god don't let him grow up to eat pop sickles ♪ ♪ because it seconds the wrong message ♪ >> oh, vote for mitt romney

spelled koenne. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: i remember when you did look out the girl has a gun. you said look out -- >> look out, the girl vp has got a gun! ♪ everybody run, the exbeauty queen has a gun ♪ ♪ and everybody run, the ex-beauty queen has got a gun ♪ ♪ is this really happening i don't believe it ♪ >> it goes on and on. >> you have to add the shucking and jiving quote. >> right. how can you say that? >> stephanie: i know. and you pretend like you never heard -- like we don't have that in alaska. >> is that a black thing? i didn't know that.

>> stephanie: it doesn't mean that in alaska. you know how many words we have for snow. [ laughter ] >> and she said that thing about him carrying a big stick like the penis joke. >> stephanie: oh, wow. >> she has gone crazy. >> gone crazy? >> stephanie: your comedy writing is so hilarious and dense with jokes that you have to hear it over and over to catch all of the things you wedge into one little comedy nugget. >> thank you. >> stephanie: so there. i love you. >> oh, i love you guys. >> stephanie: she is a little comedy confection. now i have to watch the video because i'm sure it's hilarious. >> oh, yeah. because she is playing a spatula. >> i couldn't find a ukulele, so

i thought who cares. >> stephanie: i don't mean to say we have better musicians on our side but in just a few minutes, james taylor will be on the show. >> bruce springsteen. >> stephanie: yes. >> and he is funny. >> stephanie: exactly. and also valerie jarrett, best friend of potus and floatus. >> are they coming on the show? >> on the phone. >> oh. >> stephanie: agency did i tell you everybody has an emotional reaction to james tailor. >> yeah, you remember making out to james tailor. ♪

>> okay. stop it. stop it. it is just too much. >> stephanie: that's a very sad song, you made out to -- >> stephanie: she was one of those gloomy teens. >> stephanie: at 17 i learned come on stick your tongue in my mouth. sixteen minutes after the hour. right back with james taylor next -- >> and julie brown. >> stephanie: well hello. >> try to behave for goodness sake. otherwise you are going to have all idiots listening to your program. >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ could result in you being denied

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♪ ♪ got to wear shades i got to wear shades ♪ >> stephanie: julie brown and i

are such best friends i put makeup on and she put makeup on -- >> i know. i saw her doing it and i had to do it. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: give me your lip gloss. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: say, kevin, hey, steph having a week from hell at work, but light at the end of the tunnel sexy liberal new york city baby. see you in the second row in the splash zone. i get my dna on most of the first two years -- >> how do you do that? like how? >> stephanie: you paid your money you take your chances. >> cool. >> stephanie: yeah and tomorrow

night will probably be sold out like all of the other ones. >> i wish i could go. >> stephanie: it's sexy liberal palooza. >> i can't travel two weeks in a row. >> stephanie: all right. mitt romney on the campaign trail. >> romney: we recognize this is the year with big choice and america wants to see big changes. >> stephanie: big, bold bad ideas. we were saying every bad idea it is a big one, right? >> yeah. >> stephanie: like that is a big idea. >> like when i got married and stuff. [ wah wah ] >> exactly. >> at the risk of sounding like jim, hitler had some big ideas.

>> big huge ideas. >> stephanie: how did you beat him -- >> i don't know. >> stephanie: all right. mitt romney on more bigness. >> romney: his challenges are big challenges, and america wants to see big changes and we're going to bring big changes to get america stronger again! >> well the economy is getting better. >> stephanie: john mccain, poor grampy. he said powell you disappoint us, and you have hung your legacy even further, by defending what is clearly the most feckless foreign policy in my lifetime. >> is he ever happy?

>> george w. bush that was pretty feckless. >> stephanie: yes, exactly. >> you want to see my angry crotch crotchy grandpa discount card. >> sir, this card is expired. >> stephanie: all right. joe in new york. >> caller: hey guys i love the estrogen surge. >> thank you. >> caller: we're about a thousand volunteers for the obama campaign short. so it's time to quit bitching and get off of your pink and whites and get in there this weekend, next week and next weekend, chicago says the best way to get people out is

face-to-face. spend two hours, and walk the neighbors. and you guys ought to be saying call your campaign headquarters and ask what you can do. >> stephanie: that's right. what are pink and whites? >> i think i had my waxed. >> yeah. >> you notice he said chicago, not shic-a-go. >> stephanie: what is that. >> it's like body parts. >> stephanie: oh i don't get out much. chelsea in georgia, hello. >> caller: hi. i would just like to impose the question to all of the men about the mourdock question how would they feel if their wife was raped and you were forced to

carry that rape with a baby and you are forced to watch that baby grow, how would you feel. >> stephanie: who is that behind you yelling? chatting with you live those are my grandchildren. >> stephanie: they are chatty. yeah, it is not just women offended. it is the guy with four daughter that called. you need to take care of your grandchildren. >> there is going to be a rebellion. >> stephanie: it's like an arab spring but with todayer will -- toddlers. >> i don't think they think through all that happens with rape. >> stephanie: oh know. barbara, hi, barbara.

>> caller: hi stephanie, love your show. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: why do they have the right to send people overseas to defend other people's rights when they are trying to take away our rights. >> stephanie: that is exactly right. we don't follow some of the rules they expect in other developing democracies. we'll be back with more on the "stephanie miller show."

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[ ♪ music ♪ ] bloc i mean two would you rather be -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. . >> -- or ditto. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: we are very honor to have valerie jerodd. >> hello stephanie. and julie. >> hi, how are you? i'm excited to talk to you. >> my pleasure. >> stephanie: i talked to already this morning, james taylor, and jan, and melissa fitzgerald and i sure don't

feel an enthusiasm gap for the president this time around do you? >> oh, no. and i have been traveling all over the battleground stateds. and visiting our campaign offices, and seeing these volunteers who are all ages all races, from all over the country, just working so hard on behalf of not just the president, but our country. it just makes me feel good. >> stephanie: i have to say, i have been -- we have talked to so many regular voters and people, and i think everybody understands what a stark choice it is this year, don't you think? >> i sure do. and in a sense it has crystallized for folks over the last few weeks, as we have come through the debates and seen some of the rhetoric coming out.

and it is so contrary to what we have always been as a country, and what the president is. i know the struggles they have had in the sense of -- our country is at its strongest when we're all working together and that's what the president has done for the last four years and is going to continue to do if he are reelected. >> stephanie: you hired the president back at your law firm didn't you? >> no, i recruited and hired the first lady. we had both been at law firms, we both left the law firms, and they weren't even married at the time. they were engaged and planning their life together. and we met to talk about what we

wanted to do with our lives, and we were all so lucky to have had these terrific educations and believe to those which much is given, much is expected. it's those core values his character, his integrity, and the fact that you can trust him. the president always tells you the truth. >> stephanie: can i just be a fan girl for a minute. how awesome is michelle obama? is she as awesome as she seems? >> she is so awesome. and she has always been awesome. and she was raised so humbly. it's the kind of values that she comes from and the president's mom -- you know, single mom who

struggled so hard to make ends meet, but also made great sacrifices so he could get this terrific education. and the two of them are really the american dream no matter what you are where you come from, and there is a level playing field, you can make it if you try in this country. and i'm so worried that that is at risk right now. >> stephanie: yeah you hear mitt romney talk about the american dream and then you look at the president and see the american dream. >> exactly. he has lived it. mitt romney says borrow the money from your parents. >> stephanie: yeah. >> and the president who has always been so committed with a

woman's rights, and mitt romney says one of the first things i'm going to do is defund planned parenthood. really? really? not move our economy forward, or improve our health care, you really think the first thing you should do is get rid of planned parenthood? >> stephanie: yeah. he has a very busy day one. >> day one he is going to do everything. >> stephanie: he is going to do everything george bush did wrong but apparently in one day. >> repeal obamacare. what is he saying? he is going to dump all of these children off of their parent's insurance and take away the money that will help seniors get prescription drugs or take away all of these preventive services that women so desperately need in order to be healthy. it has a real impact on people's

lives, and as i have traveled around the country, you all, i hear those stories every day, and stories about how the president has literally saved peoples lives because of obamacare, and we say that proudly obamacare. >> stephanie: yeah. it's just -- the problem is there is no difference between official romney campaign people and really what i consider lunatic fringe. i just -- i have never seen the level of political discourse. >> it is crazy. have you met republicans that are embarrassed about those people? >> yes, absolutely. i'll give you a good example. charlie crist who spoke at the democratic convention he said i didn't leave my party. my party left me.

are republicans out there who hunger for the days that just because you were a republican didn't mean you weren't willing to move your country forward. and when you have the leader of the republican party in the senate stand up at the beginning of the president's term and say his number one objective is what? to make sure this president doesn't get reelected? really? >> yeah, that was horrifying. >> that just means he is just prejudice. because obama hadn't done anything yet. so why would you say that? >> why would you say that? >> stephanie: i was saying earlier that my dad ran be barry goldwater, and i was saying i somehow can't imagine him on facebook after he lost the

election saying snarky racist things about the president. that was our last vice presidential candidate. sarah palin. john sununu came out and said colin powell only endorsed president obama because he is black. >> yeah, and what differentiates the president is he always appeals to what we have in common. there's no place for that nasty rhetoric in our country, particularly because we have so many challenges ahead, but they are all solvable if we come together and work together and i think -- i know when the president is reelected, it will send a strong message that

that's not where the american people are. they want their electived representatives to get in there and work hard just like they are trying to do. they want to make sure the people elected does. >> stephanie: and when he makes that point in a place like ohio -- i think the reason he is ahead in the battleground states is because they know he's not stupid. the president has enacted real policy in these states. correct? >> so correct. i woman came up to me and said she had kidney cancer, but her father owned a small business

and was not able to afford health insurance for her mom. and her mom got sick and died. and she said i'll never forget here. she said why am i alive and my mother is not, and if we had simply had obamacare, my mother would still be here. when the president and the first lady celebrated their 20th anniversary. same thing. a man came up and said his mom was alive today because she was able to get the prescriptions that he needed. my daughter was on my insurance. young people get sick too. they are in car accidents too. and that's who the president is looking outfor. >> stephanie: well, your daughter obviously comes from a long line of overachievers.

>> she worked very hard. i'm very proud of her. >> you have been to lunch with the first lady, right? is she a good tipper? >> yeah. of course she is. >> and i bet she never seconds anything back, right? >> she is decent to her core. she is a good tipper, because she knows what it is like to struggle, she has integrity, character, she is grounded and very funny. and you need that sense of balance in your life and she provides that to the president. >> i bring julie in for all of the policy questions. >> yeah. >> stephanie: before you go, obviously we have heard a lot about ground game and early voting but it seems like honestly things are going our way, and the momentum clearly is on the side of the president. how are you guys feeling? >> i'll just close by giving you

a few data points. the ground game is terrific. i was in cincinnati with the early vote with the first vote, and people were sleeping in the polls so they could be the first people to early vote and that momentum has continued, but let me just say this. in 2008 we won north carolina by 14,000 votes. that's five votes per precinct. every vote counts. the reason why the president voted early yesterday is because things come up on election day. we know that. you have a child that gets sick. >> the weather. >> the weather is terrible. you have a flat tire on the way to the polls. anything can come up, and for folks who live in states where you can early vote, why not do

it today. >> stephanie: by the way the two people voting on either side of the president they were cheating, weren't they? [ laughter ] >> i hope they didn't need to cheat. i hope they were pushing that button for barack obama if they want to move forward in this country. >> stephanie: oh that was smooth. you have to get off stage now, rock star cheers. [ cheers ] >> thanks, stephanie for letting me come on your show. >> stephanie: thank you, baby. >> she was awesome. [ applause ] >> stephanie: okay. forty-seven minutes after the hour. right back with julie brown. >> sweet lady gaga that was good. >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪

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(vo) cenk uygur is many things. >>oh really? >>"if you ever raise taxes on >>the rich, you're going to destroy our economy." not true! [ ♪ music ♪ ]

>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ oh ♪ ♪ everybody, everybody ♪ >> everybody. >> stephanie: everybody early vote if you can. everybody. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: fifty-two minutes after the hour. julie brown how delightful. valerie is the first lady a good tipper? >> does she get dressing on the side? >> stephanie: is she like sally when harry met sally? >> yeah, all of that. >> stephanie: you are just as cute as bugs teeth.

>> i bet romney is a lousy tipper. >> because he has never defended on little bits of money like that. >> stephanie: no. wow, we were just talk about the gay community. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: your people. >> my people. >> stephanie: jessica simpson's dad is gay. >> wow! that explains a lot. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: yes, it does. she has vowed to stand by him, she is just a little -- >> stephanie: yeah hello. like none of those brady kids new. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: elizabeth tailor has just overtakens he close friend michael jackson. she made $210,000 last year. i'm flying in to the eye of the

perfect storm, imagine what i can make next year. >> she made most of that by auctioning off her jewelry. well,er estate. >> she is dead by the way. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> the lindsay lohan movie is coming out next month. >> stephanie: i'm so sad for you. [ laughter ] >> i know. >> stephanie: and she plays liz. >> i can't wait. i'm sorry. >> it looks awful. >> i know but i'm excited. >> stephanie: she is a train wreck. >> all men are bad followed by bastard men. >> but at times elizabeth taylor was a train wreck. >> stephanie: not in my burning bed you don't you bastard man.

taylor swift and kennedy have broken up. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: oh, no! she bought a house next to the kennedy compound and started dressing like jackie too. >> she is a whole boat load of crazy. she has slept with every young guy -- >> stephanie: i am a mess but i have never bought a house next door to somebody. i just want to be a little closer. what time is dinner? [♪ mysterious music ♪] [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: another ceo has

threatened their employees if mitt loses. mike white sent his employees an email saying did they understand the impact of having their taxes raised dramatically if obama wins. he went on to say that right height -- that's it name right height -- if he is going to drop -- if he drops your health care, your boss is just a douche. by the way -- i know it was a tribute to our show your joe lieberman -- this is a southout to us. [ laughter ] >> i totally forgot about that. >> oh play that all the time.

>> stephanie: any time we play -- >> joe lieberman. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: romney said to ceos i hope you make it clear to your employees what is in the best interest of your enterprise. >> wow. >> stephanie: and by -- >> it's legal to do that. >> stephanie: because of citizens united, but corporate profits are at an all-time high so your boss is a douche. >> total douche. >> stephanie: and he is not going to know who you vote for. >> or he knows his company is going down because of mismanagement and he is looking for a scapegoat. >> stephanie: yeah he is just a jerk if -- >> something is going to happen to your health care. he's going to have an accident.

the benefits might fall down a flight of stairs with a knife in its back. >> stephanie: is there a julie brown dot-com? >> yes there is. >> stephanie: the video of you playing victoria jackson is up it is hi-lairous. don't mess the big show tomorrow right. sexyliberal.com. i love you julie brown! >> i love you too! >> stephanie: we'll see you monday on the "stephanie miller show." ♪