that was not exactly true. >> uh-oh. >> peter: still very murky. a lot of details still coming out but the post stands by its story and "the daily caller" is standing by its story. we should find some clarity here in the next couple of days to find out exactly what happened and exactly what went wrong. but it is fascinating. thanks again to everybody who tuned in today. i'm peter ogborn sitting in for bill press today on the "full court press." exciting show tomorrow. assuming that we don't all get buried in snow. from the dnc brad woodhouse is here shoe -- hosting the show. thank you so much for tuning in. we'll see you tomorrow.

[♪ theme music ♪] >> stephanie: hello, kathleen madigan all three hours live in studio. a comedy confection. >> love her. >> stephanie: jacki schechner you know i'm a helper. >> what did you do? >> stephanie: well, i was trying to help the other member of our thruple, melissa fitzgerald, because she is moving near me -- >> as you rub it in go ahead. >> stephanie: i went to help her unpack, brought a battle of champagne as a house warming gift -- and guess how much

unpacking we gone done? >> not very much. >> stephanie: none. we started drinking and then crying about stuff chick talk and then i'm like okay. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: all right. here is the real helper on the show. jacki schechner in the current news center. >> good morning, everybody. north korea says it plans to violate the nearly 60-year-old ceasefire agreement that ended the korean war. the u.s. and china agreeing on a draft resolution on sanctions last month. this time the nation says because of u.s./south korea military drills that started march 1st it plans to launch surgical strikes at anytime beginning march 11th.

the u.s. is concerned that they are getting closer to developing nuclear missiles. and claims this is a response to u.s. hostility. the senate intelligence commit see the expected to vote on the nomination of john brennan as the new director of the cia. senate majority leader harry reid, is spectacle that republicans may or may not filibuster the confirmation vote. republican senator continue to cite lingering questions over the september attack on our consulate in benghazi. and secretary of state john kerry is speaking to cnn about his first step. we're back after the break.

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[♪ theme music ♪] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine, woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: of course it is. it is the "stephanie miller show." six minutes after the hour 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. [♪ magic wand ♪] >> stephanie: loooook! it's our delightful comedy confection, kathleen madigan. >> good morning. i was hoping this wasn't on television anymore.

because my hair looks weird. [ laughter ] >> and then i thought i would wear a hat, and then i thought i would look like my brother. >> stephanie: for get our careers, it's all about the weirdness of your hair kathleen. >> exactly. >> stephanie: i feel like we're in some sort of parallel universe, where you have quit smoking. [♪ dramatic music ♪] >> yes, the hammer. because i had to have teeth pulled and bone grafts or who knows what all they did, i was so high. >> so i have two spleens now. awesome. >> stephanie: yeah. my brother goes whatever you do don't smoke. i go why? and he goes dry socket. and he said it's the worst thing ever, i can't even talk about

it. so i thought it must be horrible. and then they gave me a little vicodin, and i was so high and nothing has scared me ever cancer, who cares, i had the whole thing planned out -- but dry socket. >> dry socket no. >> yeah and i also can kind of write with my right hand. i don't want to brag. so i no idea what it is. i imagined it. there is some sort of blood clot involved, and then you spit up blood -- >> oh! >> i made that part up and then i have to wear a veil from my nose down forever, but then if i'm more popular, because people go, oh look it's the lady in

the veil. i don't have to work so hard as to not be confused can kathy griffith. kathy do you still have your jaw? there's a difference. please book me on fallon. >> stephanie: only mitch mcconnell can understand you then. >> mitch mcconnell knows exactly what you are talking about. >> so many women have too much stuff shot into their lips. can we just get mitch out here for a week and help him out. i go, i can't listen to you lizard man. >> stephanie: they do whole face transplants. >> yes, get him a lip donor. >> stephanie: mick jagger.

>> yeah, he has a lot. >> stephanie: normally you go up on the roof at the top of every hour to smoke. >> now what are you going to say about me? awkward at the breaks. the lady is supposed to leave. what is happening. [ applause ] >> stephanie: that's the other weird aspect of our parallel universe is i have cut down on drinking. i have decided my solution is a little bit of a problem. >> it's a shift. >> stephanie: i didn't quit. let's not get all programy. >> have you apologized to everyone you have ever known for everything you have ever done. >> oh, god, don't you hate those phone calls? have you ever gotten one of those phone calls -- it's really awkward. >> i want to apologize for that time -- i don't even remember

what it was. >> and then you feel bad, because you are like dude i don't remember either. >> stephanie: i drink enough, that i didn't know what he was talking about. it was at a radio convention and he was like no, i really want to say i'm sorry. and i'm like okay. >> do i have chlamydia? what? >> stephanie: what did you give me? [ laughter ] >> i started drinking cudzu tea. to help cut down on the booze. it supposedly diminishes cravings for alcohol. we'll see. >> stephanie: just two days ago he came in and said i should not drink vodka it makes me angry. >> i broke some furniture. >> vodka makes me angry as well.

it has nothing to do with the internal anger we might be harboring. beer doesn't develop it. nothing. wine. nothing. >> beer makes me gassy. [ laughter ] [ farting sounds ] >> stephanie: and that makes us angry. jim, stop with the beer. >> there has to be something -- as a drinker, i would like to help you find your garden of eden. >> stephanie: i was telling, jacki schechner that i brought a bottle of champagne to welcome melissa fitzgerald into the neighborhood and we were going to unpack and guess how much unpacking we got done? [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> stephanie: we were drinking, crying, and then i was like all right. i wouldn't have been helpful

anyway, she would be like why did you put my shoes in the freezer. [ laughter ] [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: jim, this is in ohio, and i think the pressure of the sequestration has finally made john boner crack. drunken man cursed at bags of tobacco and then confessed his love for a urinal. that makes about as much sense as what he said to david gregory. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: his explanation for the sequester. >> stephanie: police officers arrested a man that was so drunk he not only was talking to tobacco bags and swearing at them, he confessed his love to a urinal. they were called to get an apparent drunk man under

control. it appears the man was trying to have a conversation with a bottle of vodka -- >> well, who does don't that. >> i don't speak russian. >> stephanie: did you speak to your bottle of vodka before it made you angry. >> you are breaking furniture and he is falling in love with urinals. don't blame it on the vodka. >> there are other issues. >> i feel the same way about vodka, though, it is evil. >> that's why stalin was so angry. >> yeah, three cosmos i have no idea what city i am in. and they made it look so good on sex in the city. >> stephanie: and you have a hard enough time knowing which city you are in anyway.

i send you invitations to parties, and you are always like no, but don't take me off of the list. >> that's right. >> stephanie: okay. officers say the man speech was tlured and the conversation he was having with the bottle made no sense. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> stephanie: during the stay in jail authorities say the man began confessing his love for a urinal. >> that's a lot of emotion in one evening for that guy. he had to be really tired the next day. there is a lot going on. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: somebody was saying we have been talking about if you saw meet the press the boner has that darting

lizard tongue, and jan from milwaukee said steph i worked in the drug and alcohol field for a long time and i suspect that john boner's lip smacking and slurring has to do with long term alcoholism. >> and he sweats a lot. >> stephanie: now there's the marco rubio rule no matter how cotton mouthy he was he was not going to drink water. >> what was that? >> dry socket. >> stephanie: right. maybe he had dry socket. >> no. [overlapping speakers] [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: jim louise ward i

knew you were eventually going to get to that joke. about dry socket. >> we used to have a sponsor that cure had in. >> stephanie: okay. let's get to the hate letter because this is exhibit, a why i drink. the subject line is wow, how does that normally end for me? >> not well at all. >> it starts with wow, that sounds like of happy. >> fun wow! >> fun wow! >> stephanie: because i'm not that bright, i am always sort of hopeful that that means, wow, you are -- >> great. >> stephanie: -- funny, pretty. but it never ends that way. this is from robert. wow! i just caught a few minutes of your show for the first and last time today, you are an idiot and

you prove that every day on your lame show. the only people listening to it are other idiots like you. spreading your liberal lies again with your head -- oh, bad grammar again -- with your head is so far up your ass, ass capitalized. god loves us all. david. >> oh, he ends with a prayer. >> stephanie: he doesn't say if liberal idiot are -- >> you know who is a liberal? jesus. >> i think that guy tweeted me. the fbi had all of these fan letters from whitney houston crazy people, and they kept track of them.

and i'm like oh, now. this person is saying they are coming to my house to kill me sorry, don't follow them. >> now a warning? >> at least he signed his name. >> stephanie: yeah. >> last name? >> uh-huh. >> did he really? >> i got to give him credit as a crazy person -- >> stephanie: yeah no matter how bad they are, i never say their last name. >> you could give out their email address? >> stephanie: right. but i don't. it's part of my new amends program. >> oh, god. we do expect a phone call. >> stephanie: i don't have enough time to call you. >> start calling everyone -- >> stephanie: i just have to count on your desperation for ememployment.

19 minutes after the hour. back with more kathleen live in studio on the "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: call stephanie now, she is easy. 1-800-steph-1-2. ♪ give them leg room, good. destroy boring car interiors forever. and that's how you do it. easy. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] it's red lobster's lobsterfest our largest selection of lobster entrees like lobster lover's dream or new grilled lobster and lobster tacos. come in now and sea food differently. visit redlobster.com now for an exclusive $10 coupon on two lobsterfest entrees.

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on current tv. ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ i got your number ♪ ♪ i need to make you mine ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ don't change your number ♪ >> stephanie: it is the "stephanie miller show." welcome to it. twenty-four minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-1-2. kathleen madigan you enjoy viking violence in >> yeah, old school all of a

sudden you are standing there, and there is a spear in your head for no reason. that's the type of shows i tape. i love doomsday tapers. >> oh god. >> they say i'm at costco right now stalking up. they are married. oh, my god. i can't believe the extremes -- where is the money coming from? i so many questions? >> stephanie: only god knows the exact level of your crazy. all right. let's see diane in tennessee you are on with kathleen. hi, diane, welcome. >> caller: thank you. i just wanted to say i discovered chattoe chocolate.

i just put it in a glass and walk around with mommy's chocolate milk all day. >> chocolate wine? you could have a chocolate lecure -- >> isn't there chocolate vodka. >> stephanie: yes. >> how about coffee vodka. >> they make that. >> it's espresso vodka. >> my friend gave me a bottle of birthday cake vodka. it tastes exactly like birthday cake. [ mumbling ] >> and if you mix it with pineapple juice it tastes like

pineapple upside down cake. >> stephanie: you are right it's better -- when you get fancy cake, it's not as good as the cheap cake. >> cheap cake is always the best. >> that's why i don't like to go to fancy weddings i like to call ahead and said, can i bring a cheap cake? you are going to spend $80,000 on a cake that is going to suck. look i can bring a birthday cake from the grocery store for $8.99. >> stephanie: linda in riverside. >> caller: good morning, how is everybody today? >> stephanie: we're good. >> caller: last year i got my husband tickets for his 60th birthday to see the sexy liberal show in los angeles.

this ends a little bit sad -- you might want to put on sad music. [ sad music ] >> caller: our three sexy liberal sons and their wives were very jealous. the big day came had the tickets taped to the refrigerator, we left extra early because we're about an hour and a half from l.a., and i -- i didn't eat -- and then went -- we got there so early that there was this cute little bar right next to the theater -- >> stephanie: all right. go ahead. >> caller: oh, my god -- oh my god, the bartender there was very friendly. i usually drink a little bit of beer, and i didn't want to pee all night, so i had a cocktail. i had a long island ice tea, and then some very, very friendly

people that were coming to your show as well came in and they decided to buy everybody drinks. and we got into the show and probably about ten minutes i made before the room started spinning -- >> stephanie: oh, dear. >> caller: oh, my god, i think i'm going to have to go to the bathroom. he walks me to the bathroom finally after about a half hour he had to send a nice cute little girl that works there to get my head out of toilet. anyway my husband held me up and walked me to the car. i cried. >> stephanie: oh. >> caller: i didn't believe i did this oh my god. and all the way home i was throwing up -- >> stephanie: i think the moral is, she stopped drinking and we'll get her tickets to the next one. young turks is that we're honest. they know that i'm not bs'ing them with some hidden

agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know that i'm going to be the first one to call them out. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

♪

>> announcer: stephanie miller. >> armed with nothing more than a great set of incisors mother beaver gets to lumber jacking. those teeth of hers never stop growing. if she didn't wear them down every day, they would soon outgrow her head. [ laughter ] >> oh boy. >> stephanie: that's as good of explanation as i have heard. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. all right. ♪ pundit ♪ ♪ bah bah bah, bah ♪ >> there he is. >> stephanie: good morning

rudeness. >> good morning. >> stephanie: how are you sir? >> i'm awake. >> stephanie: with you and kathleen madigan here at the same time i'm afraid of some rude cosmic comedy explosion. >> yeah. i saw you two years ago, and you did great with sweaty hippies and a tent. >> thank you. i was very concerned about these situations. i was like they are not here for comedy, they are here for air conditioning. >> yeah, it was just hippy sweat. >> stephanie: i love the smell of hippy sweat in the morning. rudeness a lot of people have written great stuff about the sequester. but no one writes better and more rudely than you in my personal opinion. >> well, thank you. >> stephanie: because you put it in a historical context as you

do as a himpy liberal professor. >> that's right. >> stephanie: you say there is a third part that thinks are you [ censor bleep ], are we really doing this [ censor bleep ] catastrophe dance again? oh [ censor bleep ] with a rake. >> which would be uncomfortable. >> stephanie: yes, one wonders what your weekends are like and your yard work? [ laughter ] >> stephanie: you say republicans crave crisis. it is their water, their air, their food. and i see exactly what you mean when you put it in historical context like that. >> yeah, there is crisis after crisis that they keep coming up with. you need us because there is this crisis that needs to be gotten through, and we're the

only ones that can do it. >> stephanie: even though we caused it. >> right >> stephanie: without crisis people would realize how about we spend some money on education or [ censor bleep ] we need. >> right. every time there is some distraction that is, again, manufactured, and these manufactured crises, first of all they enrich a lot of the donors of the gop and the democrats, but certainly the base donors of the gop, and it plays to sort of the basist instincts of the electorate and therefore we get people voting for the house of representatives we have now. >> stephanie: you say does it even need to be said that the bush years was one long crisis.

now the gop needs another crisis to extent its brand of politics so we have debt and the debt ceiling, and more. nearly every crisis in this country has been manufactured by the republican party as a means of -- and the current sequester and upcoming debt ceiling are part and parcel of that. and it's just going to keep happening. >> yeah, and we used to not have the debt ceiling fight like this. it used to not being brought -- not just being brought to the brink, but actually getting to the point where our credit rating is low erred, and the world feels threatened by our inability to get our finances in order, simply to say that there is not going to be interruption or constant crises. >> stephanie: yeah.

>> and now we're all -- and now the nation is -- is told we need to panic over this when it's just simply not true. >> i'm looking at an article right now, that says paul krugman is right for having the wrong conversation. >> stephanie: yeah. you point out the same thing i have been screaming about. the chyron on meet with press is are both parties to blame? and you say if someone sets a fire, are you going to complain the firefighters are yelling too loudly. republicans need to chill the [ censor bleep ] out. >> but as far as crisis go i don't think this is one of their

best ones. >> stephanie: yeah. rude that's the big -- that's the thank is pointed out in time magazine and elsewhere, people don't realize, the deficit has gone down under obama. >> right. and spending as a percentage of gop blah blah blah has gone down. and to kathleen's point that -- ing isn't it better to have a crisis that people don't understand, and -- but that you can tell people with a short like -- debt's bad. saddam hussein bad. certainly the complexities behind all of that are things that people either willfully ignore or they want to shut down and say you are right, we need to fight. >> or they get angry and turn it completely off. >> right. which benefits those who are manufacturing the crisis. >> one of the late night shows

said that did you hear that north korea is developing a sequester, and they were like oh, that sounds bad. >> that sounds bad. they clearly don't be to a catholic school. >> i thought maybe they were sequestering body parts there. >> stephanie: you of course -- >> the sequester belt. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: you give a nod to judge scalia's horrific thoughts on the voting rights act, clarence thomas can't talk right now, because he's [ censor bleep ] my meaty sauceage scalia. [ laughter ] >> we got to figure there's some reason that thomas never talks. >> he is drinking a coke. >> stephanie: yeah. it was pretty unbelievable wasn't it? what did he say exactly -- it's

an -- >> it's a racial entitlement. >> stephanie: yes. >> racial entitlement, that voting is a racial entitlement, that protecting your right to vote is -- >> and corporation are people and money is speech. >> right. so, you know, sometimes with scalia, i did love rachel maddow saying he is just a troll. he is just trying to get a reaction from feem -- people. which really if you are a judge and you are just so bored with everything and everybody, that at some point you just want to screw with people. >> stephanie: kathleen will understand what i mean he is the shock comic of the supreme court. [ laughter ] >> he has taken on that role and he likes it. [ gasping ] >> stephanie: kathleen and i sat in a comedy club and said that's just rude.

>> yeah. >> stephanie: that is just dirty -- >> how many years does this work in a row? that's my question. a lot. a lot is the answer. >> oh! >> yeah, he is working again. selling out. we sit here and laugh, and i'm going back to michigan. [ laughter ] >> a series of racist and sexist jokes that pretty much comprises anthony scalia's world view. >> stephanie: yep. and myth smith a bliterring [ censor bleep ]. there he was again, smiling laughing, horrid ann attached to his hip, mocking the mistake of not nominating him. >> right. fox news sunday. wow what a scintillating

interview that was. what a game changer. i love the idea that he -- you want to talk about somebody that hasn't left campaign mode. there is not a single friggin thing that he said that wasn't the same thing he said on the campaign trail. >> stephanie: yeah, he just sort of doubled down on the 47%. >> he doubled down on everything. and she blamed the media again. and it's like -- w won. what happens when a republican wins? do you still say that's the media? not gracious losers. >> and i know we're not supposed to talk about the wives, and all of that, but when you see michelle obama out there, and she's delightful and smart and do things for childhood new tradition issues and then you

see ann romney and you think -- >> stop it. >> stephanie: you think stop it. >> yeah, you think she makes barbara bush look warm. >> ann romney: stop it. [ laughter ] >> she was claiming we haven't seen the real mitt romney. yeah, we did. that's the real guy. >> and if you don't want to be talked about quit doing interviews. where is bes truman? >> stephanie: i wanted to hear more from her. >> yeah it's not fair to talk about the wives. then be quiet. >> not like that show i will whore eleanor roosevelt. >> exactly. >> stephanie: on that note, i think we have reached maximum rudeness. love you rude pundit. >> good night. >> on crooks and liars when do we stop playing on the republican side of the field. >> stephanie: thank you. and a republican inflicted wound

from time magazine. forty-five minutes after the hour. kathleen madigan live in studio. >> announcer: the only place in america where descent is still allowed. it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ joy behar: your mistake was writing a check jerry springer: she never cashed it (vo) the day's events. four very unique points of view. tonight starting

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>> only on current tv. ♪ ♪ listen to -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ -- on the location midway between the loud speakers ♪ ♪ one, two, three, four, hit it ♪ ♪ this sequence is repeated several times ♪ >> stephanie: okay. this hour brought to you by tre

rabreath mouthwash and toothpaste we love it. >> love it. >> stephanie: the president. >> obama: my agenda obviously is broader than just the sequester, because i laid out both in the inauguration and during the state of the union a very robust agenda to make sure we're doing everything we can to grow this economy and help families thrive and expand their opportunities. >> but instead we're having the sequester. >> stephanie: exactly. he ran on the same issues won on them. talked about them in the inauguration state of the union, and now here we are. katherine madigan said sequester not something bad that happens to you in catholic school. >> exactly. >> stephanie: the sequester is a

republican inflicted wound. >> yeah. >> well, i think that all -- i watched meet and press and all of that stuff, but i think they overestimate how much the average american is invested and/or understands any of this. so when time magazine puts that out, that is not going to sell that magazine. people are like, i don't care they are all fighting. that's what people think. >> that was actually buried in the got tom -- >> oh, really because usually they just put angels! [ laughter ] >> stephanie: like matt damon, really? >> yeah, and meet the press and all of these people to me keep buying into it by speaking as if it's real and we just keep going on and on and on.

and then people go what do you mean there is going to be a longer line at the airport? this is crap! hire more people! >> i am being inconvenienced what is going on? me! me! me! >> stephanie: i'm going to read the key fun facts for you. [♪ fun-facts music ♪] >> stephanie: the sequester is here with an additional $80 billion of haphazard spending cuts. let's be clear this is republican inflicted. it was the insistence that they would not raise the debt ceiling unless president obama agreed to spending cuts. the downgrade of the u.s. credit rating, and now this it's republican debt limit

brinkmanship. who moved the goal post, and the origin was created by the budget control act of 2011. >> obama needs to point all of this stuff out. >> stephanie: someone made the analogy that it's like someone put a gun to his head and said give us your watch, and then they go well it was the president's idea to give us his watch. >> i heard that. let's attack saddam hussein. people get that. bad man. >> stephanie: bad man. [ explosion ] >> stephanie: kill. >> but this because every talking point -- i feel like when you are listening to a sociopath go into details. they confuse you with details, because they go well you did ask me that but you didn't ask me that that. and i think that's what they are doing on every one of these talk

shows, and i can't believe that tom brokaw and people i used to focus on will sit around and keep talking about this -- >> jim what has happened to tom brokaw. okay. more fun facts. [♪ fun-facts music ♪] >> stephanie: traditionally the debt ceiling has been a symbolic cap. in obama's semidefense the irresponsibility of tax cutting republicans in the bush era was truly breathtaking. first of all he didn't vote to not raise the debt ceiling, he made a point about what bush was legitimately doing to the deficit. republicans say drastic measures

are needed to prevent us from becoming greece. i would point out the kind of austerity the republicans are trying to impose on the u.s. caused the recessions in greece and spain. it's also worth noting the deficit exploded under bush and declined under obama, and federal spending has declined. >> and the same thing happened in 1937 the -- >> that showy whore eleanor roosevelt. >> exactly. >> and it shut everything down. and fortunately he had the wherewithal to pull the plug and turn the ship around. >> stephanie: right.

and just in case news busters just tuned in, that was actually rude pundit that called eleanor roosevelt a showy whore. >> yes. >> stephanie: republicans had turned the debt ceiling into the -- anyway. that's where we are. that's where we are, paying the randsome the republicans demand demanded. and now calling it the obama-quester. if they really hate the sequester as much as they claim, they can always just cancel it, but they don't want to do that. this entire cycle of insanity could begin again in may. [ screaming ] >> oh, god, really? >> stephanie: yes. and i thought that was as good

of summation as i have read. but you are right, nobody will read that. >> right. if you tell the average person on the street our credit rating got lower, they will go what? i didn't know we had one. >> stephanie: yeah, people don't realize it has gone down under obama. >> right, but i don't think they would know the other way either because they make it so complicated, and people just quit -- they give up or they are confused. just stop fighting. that's what they are doing -- the republican party is presenting the picture that everyone is fighting. >> and kat reen just opened a beer. >> no it's an orange soda -- >> it's boner beer.

[♪ theme music ♪] >> stephanie: jacki schechner news woman extrordanaire, what the hell has happened to tom brokaw and the main stream media? you are the only newscaster i trust anymore. >> that's good to know. i'm not sure you should, considering i don't sleep but that's fine. it is infinitely frustrating, isn't it? that they seem to have this need for false equivalency at all times. >> stephanie: yeah. >> did you see john fugelsang's recreation of meet the press. >> stephanie: i did not.

>> it is very funny. if you get a chance check it out. he has the orange face paint and everything. >> where david gregory asked real questions and follow ups. >> yeah, he said now i'm going to pretend to follow up but i'm not going to. >> stephanie: all right. jacki schechner with the real news. >> good morning if you are joaning for a book written by someone in the bush family good news, you have two to choose from. george h.w. bush has written a book that is due out today. he say he was upset about how his son was treated in the wake of hurricane katrina, that he took heat for the government's slow response. the elder bush says his son actually felt deeply for the people suffering and ends up making a strange comparison saying his son was being

attacked by the press the wait a minute way he was attacked by the japanese as an navy officer. and he praises his own son, former governor jeb bush for the work he did to help his brother's campaign in florida. speaking of jeb, he has a book out today on immigration, and a lot of news organizations are pointing out today that he's a little contradictory -- a lot contradictory. he advocates legal residency for undocumented immigrants but in the u.s. backs away from path for citizenship. they made a serious miscalculation of how the gop was going to end up tacking to the center, and now he's going on a book tour promoting what is not in the book.

it's very complicated. think progress has a great piece on it take a look. laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. you would rather deal with ahmadinejad than me. >>absolutely. >> and so would mitt romney. (vo) she's joy behar. >>and the best part is that current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking?

[♪ theme music ♪] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel goods ♪ >> stephanie: yes, it is! we have a comedy confection known as kathleen madigan, all three hours live in studio. >> now can you see me? i have to sit up straight? >> no slouching in radio. >> i know. look at me. >> stephanie: look at you -- show people your little

elf elfinboots. they are pressure. [ bell chimes ] >> stephanie: okay. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. kids joyce in shamberg says steph i'll be three for three this april. she's a steph head. >> you as a drinky should think about moving that show over to the city winery where they make your own wine for you and give you your own label. >> >> stephanie: what? >> i have a case being shipped, and i'll bring you a bottle of baby madigan next time i roll in here. kathleen madigan will be appearing -- march 8th grove in anaheim. >> yes, i'll be leaving right after this for the traffic. >> stephanie: may 10th at the

barrymore theater in wisconsin. >> nice! [ applause ] >> stephanie: you have to see her live. >> may 4th, taping special in detroit, royal oak theater. >> and until then you can get gone madigan on net flex. >> stephanie: yes. >> and the next one is going to be called gone madigan again. because i'm tired of coming up with names. people will go which one is this? and i'll go i don't know. it's a crap shoot. buy it or don't. i'm tired of tricking you into it. >> stephanie: you are the best sales woman. >> i am the worse. that's why i don't sell merch after a show. i'm like i don't know which joke

is on which. just pick one. you'll have fun. >> stephanie: speaking of fun. the president. >> obama: we're going to make sure our agencies do have the support to make some very difficult decisions. this will slow our growth. it will mean lower employment in the united states than otherwise would have been, but we can manage through it. [ sighs ] >> stephanie: 750,000 jobs they think we're going to lose from this. and now republicans controlling the house move to ease the cuts to the pentagon. giving agencies more flexibility -- blah blah blah. i don't understand this is not

the way we normally govern america. you don't get to just make up your own plan. >> no. >> i don't even think it is going to work. i really believe the whole game is just keep fighting. just create chaos. and that's the goal, and then they don't -- after that, who cares. >> stephanie: yeah. the house measure denies money sought to immriment stuff like the health care law and financial regulations. just the stuff they don't like. it's like kids pulling out the vegetables they don't like. >> hiding the carrots -- >> stephanie: right. i used to throw the peas under the bench that i sat on. >> obama: it is an area of deep concern. i think everybody knows where i stand on this issue. we're going to manage it the best we can to try to minimize the effects on american families. >> stephanie: and then homeland security secretary. >> we are already seeing the big

airports for example. some had very long lines. >> stephanie: like you were saying, there is going to be inconvenience -- [ screaming ] >> what is happening? i'm personally being inconvenienced! this is serious now. >> stephanie: and there is shocking there may be delays at lax. [♪ dramatic music ♪] >> if i even start talking about airports i will never leave this room. because the anger in me -- if i had a little vodka in me i would pull a rock star violence on this studio. >> stephanie: yeah. >> and there's really no airports where i go -- sometimes

that's why i like to work in smaller cities it takes a lot to get there, but the whole thing -- i went to see my parents in florida, the sarasota airport, beautiful. and everybody is 100, so i just fly right through. >> stephanie: do you have the card? >> if you fly enough on american, you get to be fancy and they give you the card. but sometimes they don't even have those lines. that's where you are plutonium or diamond or whatever color you are. >> stephanie: i know what you mean. santa fe cutest little tur quoise airport ever. >> it's true. >> stephanie: i asked a lady one

time -- >> well, it's a huge harbor port. >> stephanie: yeah, >> mermaids. >> stephanie: it's like this big, the cutest little thing ever. >> like a fisher price my airport, you know? >> stephanie: right. and in like four seconds you get your bag, and they are like here is your bag, would you like some pie. >> gillette, wyoming, it's almost private. the plane is so small, i could pay the six other people to get off and i would have my own private airport. we would land and they would say did you have any bags? no, just this purse. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: we talked about with the rude the reappearance

of the romneys. >> romney: we weren't effective taking my message primarily to minority voters. we did very well with the majority population but not with minority populations, and that was a failing. that was a real mistake. >> why do you think that was? >> romney: i think the obamacare attractiveness was something we underestimated particularly among lower incomes. >> stephanie: yeah, that's was quite a shock. >> well, they heard your message, mitt, they didn't like it. it wasn't because you didn't tweet. >> i'm not very good with the twit. >> when you are so rich you are literally out of time -- i mean you can exist outside of time.

you are so rich you literally don't know what day or time it is. and i bet he doesn't even have a cell phone. i have hired this man to be my phone. i don't have to worry with the gadgets. >> he has several parody accounts that had more followering than he did. >> stephanie: mittens again. >> romney: obamacare was very attractive particularly to those without health insurance and they came out in large numbers to vote. >> stephanie: the little brown ones were really troublesome. >> i kind of feel sorry for a person that doesn't get it at the end. here is why i lost i went out on the field and played terribly, blah blah blah, or at least say that -- >> yes. it's because of brown people. >> he is still on the 47% they

got angry because somebody filmed me saying what i felt for reals. >> stephanie: right. romney like many republicans trusts his heart over reality. it comes to no surprise that romney seriously believed in his heart he would win the election. the republican math. >> the bubble. stay in the bubble yeah. >> stephanie: right. according to nate silver by november 5th he had only an 8.6% chance of winning, but they really were shocked. >> and i was shocked that they were shocked. i'm like there is shock all around. are you really shocked? like did you really -- but you can stay -- like sometimes after shows you have to do meet and greets with the richer people and stuff, and you feel like i just entered the bubble. in the real world you wouldn't

even want to talk to me but because funny pants in our elf books, we need to meet her -- [ laughter ] >> stephanie: is they how they announce you? >> yes the leaptry con has arrived with a pot of jokes. >> stephanie: his bubble boy dynamic, and misleading nature envelops a number of republican issues, they just trust their gut that it's not real. there is not one single sample of this gut trust happening. the deficit has dropped by $555 billion since obama has been president.

blah blah blah. compromise has no place in matter of faith is what the piece is. >> i think you are always going to believe everything he believes too, if you don't ever leave the bubble. like if i took mitt romney down to all of my casino gigs. this is america. that bubble up there, those last 12 people, they don't know what is going on down here. and trust me it's an entirely different makeup. they don't even know what obamacare is. they are trying to get 21, and they are focused on their next card and should i take it or not? this is the danger. you never get it. >> i can't imagine mitt romney at casino morongo. >> that's what i'm saying. no clue. >> stephanie: and you need quarters to play this machine. >> what are those? is the mint still making change?

>> what are these metal things? >> stephanie: eighteen minutes after the hour. kids carbonite we have it on every computer here on the "stephanie miller show," because we cannot afford to lose our stuff. what would we do if we lost kathleen kathleen madigan's phone number. >> exactly. >> stephanie: we can't say what have you done with my jingle? so backing up your computer files, it slips your mind. it is the hassle-freeway to back upall of your files. you don't have to remember to do it. carbonite has the right backup plan for you. unlimited backup space just $59 for the whole year. if mitt romney new about this, it would be like a caveman seeing fire for the first time. >> ahhhhh! hot. fire hot. >> then he wouldn't need a

valet? >> stephanie: right. go to carbonite.com, mitt. nineteen minutes after the hour. back with more kathleen madigan live in studio. >> announcer: she gets insulted by more right-wingers in one hour than most people do all day. it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ the chill of peppermint. the rich dark chocolate. york peppermint pattie get the sensation.

current tv is the place for true stories. with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. real, gripping, current. documentaries... on current tv. ♪ ♪ warm it up la la la, the boys are waiting ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ my milk shake brings all the boys to the yard and damn right it's better than yours, i could teach you, but i have to charge ♪ ♪ my milk shake brings all of the boys to the yard, and damn

right it's better than yours ♪ >> i don't think it's your milk shake. >> stephanie: yeah. kathleen madigan just came running back in here on her tiny elfen feet. you don't run, why? >> i heard it is bad for your knees. i will find the bad thing to anything that is good. how long do you want to live? seriously? i would take him off -- limit the role -- holy -- >> stephanie: okay. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. mark in texas, you are on with kathleen. hello, mark. >> caller: hi, steph. >> stephanie: hi. >> caller: i was just wondering, you know, the republicans are also jobs jobs jobs -- >> stephanie: uh-huh. >> caller: what happened to that? >> oh, man. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: okay. thank you.

>> i -- i -- [ mumbling ] i better ask the boner about that. >> stephanie: you know what he was into the chocolate vodka. >> you guys are on the same wavelength. >> stephanie: i think that was the boner. [ mumbling ] >> glug, glug glug glug. [ glugging sound ] >> i wish every call was like that. what happened to that? click. exactly, sir. >> [ mumbling ] >> stephanie: he could spice up meet the press, right? that man, hey -- hey you! [ laughter ] >> stephanie: that's the sound we heard in john boner's dressing room in meet the press this weekend. [ glugging sound ] >> stephanie: shelley in [ inaudible ]. hi shelley. >> caller: hi, steph.

i just wanted to let you know -- first i'll say hi to jim and chris, and kathleen you are the bomb. we saw you at the comedyfest a couple of weeks ago in traverse city. it was great. >> that was awesome. and the snow was beautiful until i had to drive in it. >> caller: it was awesome. and john fugelsang was great. >> stephanie: yay. >> caller: the hot rumor in the state of michigan if you are not aware, that governor snyder appointed an emergency manager for the city of detroit. so he is going to. they have ten days -- so they have about six days left on it. and the hot rumor from my sister and a few people that work down state is that it's going to be none other than the illustrious

rommy. >> stephanie: mitt romney? >> yes. >> stephanie: who better than the guy who wrote the op-ed, let detroit go bankrupt. >> they said he is going to be doing something big. so maybe that is it. i'm sure his offices won't be down there. >> yeah. >> that's a good inside rumor, though. >> stephanie: eric in new york. hi, eric in new york welcome. >> caller: hi stephanie. >> stephanie: hi you are on with kathleen, go ahead. >> caller: i was listening to the rude pundit and i was thinking what is the psychological label for the republican politic, and it's some weird blend of [ inaudible ] by proxy, you know where you inflict pain on somebody else to get sympathy

for -- >> yourself. >> caller: and there is this blend of narcissistic [ inaudible ] syndrome, that covers the part where you are the guy that comes in and fixes it. not that it is ever being fixed, but there might be some way to codify this weird disease -- >> stephanie: yeah, it's like think arsonist coming and putting out the fire and going look, i fixed it now. >> yeah, but it really started -- it was so obvious, i thought just ginning up the whole 9/11 thing, which was certainly serious, but to call it things that it wasn't and drag it off into threers that didn't have anything to do with it. >> stephanie: yeah. rudepundit.come. good stuff. that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they know that i'm not bs'ing them with some hidden agenda, actually supporting one

party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know that i'm going to be the first one to call them out. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

♪

>> announcer: stephanie miller. >> oh, don't worry, sweety i think i know how to whip up an audience just short of a frenzy. >> stephanie: kathleen madigan does. live in studio with us all three hours. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. it's our tuesday pal, everybody. >> oh okay. >> stephanie: thirty-four minutes after the hour as i stall. there is only one in america that understands -- ♪ pierce ♪ >> stephanie: charlie pierce political columnist for esquire.com. hi, charlie pierce.

>> i got whiplash i started doing my opening two minutes and then the music didn't start. >> i'm sorry. that's my fault. >> stephanie: charlie pierce -- >> chris has those big muscular fingers -- >> i know i smash three buttons at once. >> stephanie: yeah they are like oven mitts. you say it's not often that you see an entire philosophy drop from a sky scraper to splat. even david gregory asked sort of a question about this. >> yeah, somebody lit a fire under the dancing master. he pointed out that the people who are running the corporations seem to be doing extraordinarily well even though they aren't hiring anybody. >> stephanie: right. >> they can make more money not

creating jobs. >> stephanie: right. what did you think of the boner interview? just the chyron made me crazy about are both sides equally to blame for the sequester. >> yeah, one side came up with it as a desperate way to avoid the vandalism of the other side. >> stephanie: yeah. >> it's no question it was devised as a way to keep the government running. >> stephanie: and even david gregory lets boner get away with just lying, right? >> so an extent. the whole notion that there is no plan, and it's easily debunkable nonsense, but there are limits to the meet the press forum, unfortunately, and that bumped up against them. >> i'm guessing that boner stipulated there be no follow-up

questions. >> i don't know. that's -- i mean that's kind of a hard thing even for me to say about it. but there were follow-up questions, they just weren't very good. >> stephanie: the run of the romneys as you write -- >> how can we miss you if you won't go away? [ laughter ] >> stephanie: we were saying what was the point, right? >> i swear i was -- i think i said this when we were all in washington for the inauguration i was concerned he was going to show up at the capitol in a mourning quote his hand in the air. >> stephanie: yes, you say that lovely romney couple tossing coins off of the balconies to the peasants dropped by again, and fox news i believe did this on purpose so we can all judge

the caliber of the bullet we dodged last fall. >> the idea that you would have to look at these people for eight years while they explain to you that everything they were doing is really for your own good. and why are you complaining? the one thing that really got to me was the lovely mrs. romney saying we didn't really get to know mitt. has there been a presidential candidate in the last 20 years that we got to know better? >> stephanie: yes, she stamped her foot and got vexed in the media again. >> i'm sorely vexed. >> i'm trying to figure out why he is speaking at cpac. >> stephanie: yeah. >> i have one problem with cpac inviting him unless they just wanted to throw things at him. why would he go? >> stephanie: yeah. >> what does he stand to gain by

going in and talking to the monkey house? i don't get it. >> stephanie: and it is only good news for us that invited sarah palin to speak not chris christie. >> yeah, but sarah palin is one of them. i can't understand mitt romney. >> stephanie: right. >> i can even understand not inviting chris christie because he doesn't like you very much and why waste your time. but they didn't like mitt romney in 2008 they don't like him now, they are not going to like him now. >> stephanie: george bush's chief strategist said inviting sarah palin who wasn't competent enough to keep a fox news contract, is not a good idea. >> yeah. again, i think you are entitled if you are having your convention to invite speakers who are sympathetico with you.

>> stephanie: yeah. >> maybe he is going to put the band back together in four years and prove that the third sometime a charm. >> stephanie: yeah. jeb bush literally that stunned even republicans his flip flop on immigration. >> now he has flip flopped back again. which means he has flip flopped on his own book before it was even published. it's funny i just wrote about this. why are we surprised when any member of the bush family does something out of pure political expediency expediency. >> stephanie: yeah. for a guy who has been a luminary on this issue, his policy is deeply troubling. and then you think he needs to

get that tea party base and what does it mean that he flip flopped again who quickly? >> again, the bush family will do whatever the bush family needs to do, to get the offices to which the bush family think it is entitled because they are the bush family. >> stephanie: this is why i thought he has to be serious about running, because he literally is to the right of not just his brother but sean hannity on no path to citizenship. >> absolutely. because he thought -- i have a real personal axe to grind against jebby but this is what the bush family does. where does compassionate conservatism go as soon as w got in the white house? this is what they do. >> stephanie: i love an advisor to rommy -- where the hell was

this jeb bush during the campaign? he spent all this time criticizing romney and he has the same ideas. >> yeah, you got cream for talk about that because you used the phrase self deportation. >> stephanie: right. >> again, the romney people are surprised that a member of the bush family is acting in his own political self interest. i'm shocked by this. >> stephanie: what do you think kathleen about another bush running for president in 2016. >> i think mitt really is still running in his mind. and she says well, you haven't gotten to know him. if there is a fun mitt bring

him out. you ran away from saturday night live. so who's fault is it? >> stephanie: there you go. >> i can only imagine the monday for the writers of "saturday night live" when they realized they had to write jokes for mitt romney that week. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: did you hear this story, charlie, [ inaudible ] is engaged to the argentinian woman, while he approached his ex-wife to run his campaign. >> you talk about loud banging big ones. >> stephanie: yeah. i bet you heard clanging after that. according to jenny she already

told mark she would be taking a pass on the race the day before. he said since you are not running, would you run my campaign? we could put the team back together. and he said i could pay you this time. >> wow! >> yes, honey just leave the money on the [ inaudible ]. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: let's put the band back together? >> one man's family. i'm surprised he hasn't asked her to be like matron of honor at the next wedding. >> maybe wedding coordinator. >> if the family can't get up here from argentina in time would you stand in for them please? >> stephanie: all right. charlie thank you, honey. [ applause ] >> stephanie: we'll talk about the nurse who refused to do cpr

next on though "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: call steph now. she is easy. 1-800-steph-1-2. ♪ of my work happens by doing the things that i am given to doing anyway. joy behar: you can say anything here. jerry springer: i spent a couple of hours with a hooker joy behar: your mistake was writing a check jerry springer: she never cashed it (vo) the day's events. four very unique points of view. tonight starting at 6 eastern. you're invited to take the lysol wipes challenge. try lysol dual action wipes and see the cleaning power. lysol dual action wipes have two sides instead of one. a scrubbing side that cleans tough stains better than clorox. and a smooth side for everyday touchups. all while killing 99.9% of germs. now you can take the lysol wipes challenge for free.

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(vo) it's the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. on the next vanguard: it's a pretty, little town, with a pretty big problem. >> it's like an infection, and the longer they let it set in, get rid of it.

♪ ♪ dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life ♪ ♪ electric word life it means forever, but i'm here to tell you have there's something else -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ let's go crazy, let's get nuts, ♪ ♪ let's go ♪ >> stephanie: uh-huh. it is the "stephanie miller show." let's go. kathleen madigan live in studio

all three hours, hurray. i think you are sinking again. sit up straight. >> i hurt my back. what? oh, sitting up straight for this documentary thing. the next day i was like what is wrong with my back -- oh yeah i had to sit up straight. >> stephanie: kathleen madigan has quit smoking. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: because she was afraid of dry socket. >> exactly. just saying if you need a tooth pulled, look into it. >> stephanie: you sent me this story about the woman who called 911 for cigarettes. >> my hero. she knows she can't drink and drive, so she is a responsible citizen, and she said hey, if you are out on a run, could you bring me a cigarette. and clearly she is not a

long-time smoker because she would have known all she had to do is call the liquor store and order something, and they will bring you cigarettes. they are like angels. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: that's right. everybody has been talking about this horrible story, a nurse's refusal to give cpr to a dying woman despite desperate pleas from 911. this is in bakersfield. this is the 911 call. >> we need to get cpr started. >> yeah, we can't do cpr -- >> then hand the phone to the passerby. i'll have her do it -- or if you have any citizens there -- >> no. >> is there anybody that works there that is willing to do

it -- are we just going to let this lady die? >> well, that's why we're calling 911. >> she can't wait. anybody there who can give cpr give the phone to them, please. do you understand? >> i understand, i am a nurse, but i can't have our other senior citizens who don't know cpr give -- >> i don't understand why you are not willing to help this patient. >> aim -- >> great. i'm walk you through it all. ems takes the responsibility for it -- >> how does a nurse not know cpr? >> stephanie: yeah, and plus she was saying it -- yeah and she said i'll walk you through it -- >> it was against the poll soif the assisted living home. >> stephanie: yeah. >> call it the assisted dying

home. >> stephanie: right. independent living facilities should not have a policy that says you can stand there and watch somebody die. and that's the thing -- is anybody human in no sorry. no. >> but she said ems accepts all responsibility. >> stephanie: right. >> what was really bothersome was her tone. >> stephanie: right. >> yeah. >> that's the kind of people you want to punch in the face when they answer you like that. yeah, i'm sorry there are no planes leaving for anywhere today. sorry. >> stephanie: part of the story, they were talking about how a lot of times in situations like this passers by are afraid. they do have a hard time whether people are panicking or whatever -- but i think there is a statute in the law that you are not liable if you use your best judgment efforts -- >> it's the whole thing don't get involved.

>> stephanie: it's like the woman that got stabbed in new york in the 70s, and nobody did anything. >> you can break people's ribs if you do it improperly -- >> i would rather be alive with a couple of broken ribs than dead. >> right. >> it's pretty -- >> it's pretty final. >> yeah, i don't get it. >> that was horrifying. >> did she die? >> yeah. >> stephanie: she died at the hospital. >> haven't you ever seen it on tv, lady? i have. i don't know that i would do it right anymore, but i would try. i watched er a lot. [ laughter ] >> i took scuba lessons a million years ago and they teach you there. >> stephanie: yeah the story made me think i should learn that. >> we had to learn the heimlich

maneuver too just to be a server in a restaurant. we were expected to help people choking on our food. >> stephanie: yeah, a nurse in an elderly assisted living place? >> very bizarre. >> yeah. >> yeah, i don't know how to work a band aid. >> and there is nothing panicked about that lady's voice, too. >> stephanie: yeah. >> if she was like oh my god, i don't get it! >> no, it's against our policy. >> sorry everybody else is at bingo right now. >> yeah. >> wow. >> stephanie: tim in florida you are on the "stephanie miller show" with kathleen. hi, tim. >> caller: hey, how are you doing? i want to say something about the media as far as right wing. they have their little spoofs and they say their utter lies and then it seems like the main media follows through and goes a little bit more to the right, instead of being in the middle.

like in face the nation they -- the right-wing will say statements and then the regular media does not question it. like nobody has enough guts to tell the truth, and if somebody flip flops why not? and they just say oh well, that's the way it is. it's like they come on a right-wing program and say blah blah blah and then come on a regular program and say i didn't really mean this, i meant this. instead of being called up and say you lied. >> stephanie: yeah, right. >> like obama affordable health care -- i have always called it affordable health care and misinformation program right-wing will call it obamacare, but then the democrats and even obama himself will say it's okay. they went with the term obamacare which i thought was a mistake. >> stephanie: yeah he is like, you are right. i do care. when you watch meet the press

it's a perfect example of what we have been talking about. they present an alternate version of reality and make the pretense of asking questions about it -- >> because there's no facts anymore. >> stephanie: right. >> the fact is the sky, the base color is blue. and they will say no the sky is gray. well, no the base color is blue, but we can't continue on with the discussion as if there's fact -- we can't have a discussion or argument -- >> stephanie: yeah. people that think the sky is yellow. >> yeah, and we would be open to those calls. if you think it's purple -- this is not a matter of opinion. they go the sky is purple in his view, so it all becomes a non-conversation. >> i expected these people, they have an agenda, and say don't ask me this or this because i'll never come on again.

>> stephanie: yeah, john avalon hostage to his caucus washington has no idea how to get out of this mess with the sequester. this was one of the most stunning things he has said. i don't think anyone quite understands how it gets resolved. [ laughter ] >> cancel it then. >> yeah. boner doesn't seem to grasp the impact of the cuts. i don't know if it is going to hurt the economy or not. >> i can't even grasp my own caucus. >> stephanie: he cannot grasp his own caucus. that's the problem. [ laughter ] >> oh boy. . >> stephanie: all right. kathleen madigan, live in studio on the "stephanie miller show." ♪

[♪ theme music ♪] >> stephanie: jacki schechner? >> i feel like you kids are having too much fun in the fort this morning. >> stephanie:er i'm sorry. i know it. kathleen madigan is just a barrel of fun. >> yeah i was a fan before i realized show was a friend of yours. >> stephanie: oh. by the way because we're helpers here at the "stephanie miller show," as you know although i did not help our friend melissa fitzgerald unpack, but the republicans are trying to help with the sequester, they have their own plan now, and part of it involves not funding

obamacare. >> what is that 30-some times now? >> stephanie: yes. >> you are not helping the way you are trying to help. >> stephanie: exactly. someone is always helping jacki schechner in the current news center. >> nice segue. president obama talked about raising minimum wage during his state of the union address. well, today there is legislation being introduced to make it higher than that. they democrats want to raise it to $10.10 an hour and then tie it to inflation. right now minimum wage sits at $7.25. they have tried to raise the wage before and have run into opposition from republicans and business interests who say it kills jobs but miller explains that free enterprise advocates could support paying people a living wage, because they more

they make the less they need to rely on government subsidies. gabby giffords and her husband are news their new gun control group to ask two particular senator to support background checks. it debuted this ad last month. >> take it from me congress must act. let's get this done. >> starting today a variation on that ad is airing in iowa for two weeks, and it's mentioning senator chuck grassley by name because he is the ranking member on the senate judiciary committee. a second version is running in arizona, naming senator jeff flake who also sits on the commit committee. we're back after the break with more show. stay with us. ♪

very, very excited about that and very proud of that. >>beltway politics from inside >>we tackle the big issues here in our nation's capital, around the country and around the globe. >>dc columnist and four time emmy winner bill press opens current's morning news block. >>we'll do our best to carry the flag from 6 to 9 every morning.

[clucking]. everyone wants to be the cadbury bunny. cause only he brings delicious cadbury crème eggs, while others may keep trying. nobunny knows easter better than cadbury!

[♪ theme music ♪] >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "stephanie miller show"! ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ i'm walking on sunshine woe ho ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: yeah. this hour brought to you by go to my pc. i want do you try it go to my pc free for 45 days click on the try it free button and enter the promo code stephanie.

[ applause ] >> stephanie: kathleen madigan in live in studio with us all three years, and she hasn't left at all, because she stopped smoking. [ applause ] >> yes. >> stephanie: we just sat here in awkward silence. >> while you continue to work and i google asinining things. >> stephanie: have you gone done the screaming goat meme. >> i was reading about bieber being booed for showing up late. >> oh, yeah he showed up like two hours late. >> yeah, you are 19 years old. get to the show. you have no business being late. but they scream like people. >> stephanie: yeah, a lot of them sound shockingly like

andrew dice clay. >> oh, i missed that. >> stephanie: april 13th at the chicago theater for sexy liberal, go get your tickets now. going very fast. and speaking of tickets going fast, kathleen madigan will be at grove in anaheim, and barry more theater in madison, wisconsin may 10th, correct? >> that's correct. >> stephanie: you get around. yes you do. and you are going to tape "the view" this week. >> next week. and then i don't know when it is on. but they got to pick their favorite comedians and joy picked me. >> oh. >> i said are you telling me elizabeth did not choose me? why not?

>> oh god if she chose dennis miller. >> oh. >> stephanie: let us know and we'll plug it when it's on. this is today's oh [ censor bleep ] i just shot myself news. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: a lot of times gun control they make the case for us. a man accidentally shot himself when he was trying to teach his girlfriend how to handle a gun. which if you think about it, jim, that is a really good gun-safety course. honey do not do this whatever you do. >> oh son of a bitch! ♪ i just [ censor bleep ] shot myself, i just [ censor bleep ] shot myself ♪ ♪ i just [ censor bleep ] shot myself ♪ >> the first rule of gun safety

is don't have it loaded when you are teaching somebody. >> yeah. >> see this? do not do that. >> do not do that. >> stephanie: margaret in texas. welcome. >> caller: hello. hi. well, i wasn't going to start with this, but y'all were talking about the second coming of his majesty the great mitt. >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: and, you know, i heard the 47% thing when it first came out on tv. >> stephanie: right. >> caller: and it made me sick at my stomach, and it wasn't just the words he said that he thought he was saying just in private to his ultra rich friends. it was the way he said it's like they think they are entitled! >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: that said it all for

me. boy that was it. >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: i wouldn't have voted for him for dog catcher. >> stephanie: thank you. surprising the amount of people glug today. [ glugging sound ] >> there you go. >> stephanie: thank you. let's dive into the right-wing world. [♪ circus music ♪] >> stephanie: bill o'reilly. >> if mitt romney had defeated president obama we would not be in this mess. the president wants to raise taxes and redistribute income. everything else be damned. that's not leadership. and an honest media should be pounding the president. but it is not. instead it is defending him. >> stephanie: "the daily beast" piece, the talking point that the president has no plan just wants to raise taxes.

"the daily beast" saying you can spin language but not reality. both parties will need to give a little bit. this is just -- >> i got 98% of what i want. i'm pretty happy. >> stephanie: right. okay. we'll post that -- >> they say it like math is fact. but you can't sit here and say -- it's extra hard is what my barbie would have said. extra hard. avoid, avoid, avoid. >> stephanie: bill crystal. >> i had a flashback to an interview i saw with gerald ford. i voted for gerald ford he would have been much better than jimmy carter, but i remember watching the interview in grad school and thinking that is not

the future of the republican party, and with all due respect to governor romney i sort of had that feeling with him too. >> [ inaudible ]. >> stephanie: look at gerald ford. hogan grimly. >> the fact of the matter is there are two ways to really get something done if you are the president. one is to take it to the people. and he is wonderful to taking his issues to the people. however, if he -- if he is entering or leaving the room and the room is not chanting his name, it's like he is lost. he doesn't know what to do? >> what? see he is popular. >> stephanie: i see. i thought he made a pretty good case of it the other day. sean hannity. >> is it a fair game to say that maybe the president -- we would

save 341 federal workers if he didn't take that golf trip down in florida. the state department spent nearlynear nearly half a billion dollars on climate change. how many poor children could he have helped with that. >> stephanie: oh, man. yeah, that's it. if the president just hadn't taken that one golf trip -- >> if sean hannity got kicked in the head by a horse nobody would notice. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: jim luis -- jim ward. the >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show" does not hope for sean hannity to get kicked in the head -- >> i just said if he did. [overlapping speakers] [ buzzer ] >> that horse was a loser.

i'm sure that horse doesn't exist anymore because he lost so bad -- >> stephanie: that horse is currently sticking things together. >> it's a jumper -- >> i think he was in that sandwich i ate from the machine. >> i think i just crazy glued back a cup with that. rush limbaugh >> releasing illegal alien prisoners. these governors all know that. these governors all know they are dealing with hugo chavez. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: wow. wow. this is really how far off the rails we have gone. president obama, hugo chavez on the only days that he is not hitler. >> same thing guys different accents. >> stephanie: jim tony perkins. >> no mother no!

[♪ "psycho" scary music ♪] >> stephanie: no, from family research radio. >> maybe you think same-sex marriage won't infect you. it may take teenage boys invading girl's locker rooms to prove it -- >> go back to that. >> maybe you have faenl for the lie that same-sex marriage won't affect you. it may take teenage vows invading girl's locker rooms to prove it, but redefining -- >> if boys are raiding the girl's locker room they are not gay. >> right. [ laughter ] >> he lost me -- that sentence we -- what? is this your fantasy? >> stephanie: i remember my -- [♪ mysterious music ♪] >> stephanie: my high school best friend, tracy richards and i, i remember our boyfriends at the time give us pig give back

rides into the boy's locker room one time, and we got in a lot of trouble. i don't know what that means, but i ended up gay. [♪ dramatic music ♪] >> tony perkins is right! >> stephanie: yes. thought it would be fun and father bartenquest didn't. maybe that was his cruising spot. >> this is my bar. this is your bar. >> most people use the park. he uses the locker room. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: listen i'm just kidding -- >> looking at the catholic church these days, it's entirely possible. >> stephanie: okay. really? why we're popeless. [ buzzer ] >> i'm going to get hate tweets in about two seconds and i'm

forwarding them all if i knew how. >> stephanie: you know how she would know how? if she had go to my pc. we're all so busy that's why we use go to my pc by citrix you can securely access your office computer from anywhere. even if you are a lazy ass like chris lavoie, you can access from his couch. >> it has happened. >> stephanie: if you are too busy lifting buicks at the gym all day and you don't want to get off of your ass to get something that stephanie asks you for from your computer you can do it right from your smartphone. you can be at work from anywhere. coffee shops gyms restaurants -- >> couches. >> stephanie: right. try it free today for 45 days,

visit gotomypc.com enter the promo code stephanie and download the app to your device. eighteen minutes after the hour. back with more kathleen madigan on the "stephanie miller show." >> announcer: she puts the brood back in broadcasting. it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ check for coupons in this sunday's paper. (vo) brought to you by lysol. a mission for health. you're invited to take the lysol wipes challenge. try lysol dual action wipes and see the cleaning power. lysol dual action wipes have two sides instead of one. a scrubbing side that cleans tough stains better than clorox. and a smooth side for everyday touchups. all while killing 99.9% of germs. now you can take the lysol wipes challenge for free. check for coupons in this sunday's paper.

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>> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> with a distinctly satirical point of view. if you believe in state's rights but still believe in the drug war you must be high. >> only on current tv. ♪ ♪ oh, but ain't that america, for you and -- >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ ain't that america home of the free, ya ♪ ♪ no air traffic controllers for

you and me. >> stephanie: yeah, america. no regulation, nothing. twenty-three minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-1-2 the phone number toll free from anywhere. comedian kathleen madigan live in studio with us. >> live! >> stephanie: jim, i have sheldon adelson here. he has informed the sec his las vegas sands corporation likely violated the law against bribing foreign officials. late last year he reportedly head meetings to discuss possible changes to the foreign corrupt practices act arguing he has been under investigation. >> right. just change the law. >> stephanie: or for the fact that he actually did bribe foreign officials. >> yeah, that's pretty much an admission of guilt. but he's sheldon adleson.

[♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: okay. by the way i love this. daily coast writing republicans who say they didn't vote vote -- daily coast writing, let's say you are a republican you just voted against reauthorizing the violence against women act, which has always enjoyed brood bipartisan support, but since your party does hijacked by right-wing nuts, it finally passes anyway, what do you do? you just lie and say you voted for it anyway. representative bachmann recognizes the importance of giving organizations the resources they need which is why she supported the stronger house version. no, the stronger version was the

one that actually passed. the one that bachmann voted against. [ bell chimes ] [ applause ] >> so she lied. >> stephanie: and she's not the only one. republicans are explaining how they were really for the thing that they voted against. >> against. >> and no one will bring them on a show and call them out on it. >> they almost voted for the bitch had it coming act, which is almost the same. >> stephanie: pat in wisconsin. >> caller: oh, kathleen, it is turning white in wisconsin again. >> yeah, i see that. >> caller: what i called about, and i haven't talked a lot about it -- they talked about education funding being cut, but in wisconsin we're going to lose over $10 million to fund the

children who have special needs. now we picture a lot of different things that are under special needs, the kid in the wheelchair, the kid that has trouble learning, the kid that perhaps has some other issues -- i work with kids who possibly some day might turn out to be one of those criminals that will hurt someone and we try to teach them there are better ways to handle their anger management problems and things like that. and those are all of the people that, you know, they deserve the help of the government because otherwise some of them will end up in prison. >> stephanie: right. >> caller: and they'll make money off of them because of corporations of america love those people. >> stephanie: right. as the president was saying the people in the worse position to handle it are going to be hit by these cuts. >> caller: exactly. and it's going to cost hundreds

of teaching positions for the people who need it the most. i mean how can you take something away from a child in a wheelchair or a child that is from an abused home and has emotional problems i think they would prefer to put them out on the flat rock and let them die. >> stephanie: oh, dear. they probably won't name the bill that, but that's essentially what they were for. >> yeah. >> stephanie: ike in charleston. hi, ike. >> caller: i just have to say you both are incredibly sexy women but i have to give top tips to kathleen madigan because what makes y'all sexy is you are so smart and funny, and that's a sexy trait that anyone can have. i have a serious question, though. when it comes to the sequestration bill if president obama didn't sign it would not have gone into law. did he have to sign it? >> stephanie: yes, he did.

when they say this whole thing about why won't the president lead? they would have called him a dictator -- that's the way the law is set up. they both proposed it, and congress signed it. right? all of these house republicans voted for it. okay. >> no, i don't know -- >> maybe he didn't sign it. >> that's what i don't know. what is the penalty? >> stephanie: they call you a hitler again. >> well, they do that anyway -- >> stephanie: all right. twenty nine minutes after the hour. back with more kathleen madigan live in studio on the "stephanie miller show." ♪ to me now? you know the kind of guys that do reverse mortgage commercials? those types are coming on to me all the time now. (vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking.

>>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. you would rather deal with ahmadinejad than me. >>absolutely. >> and so would mitt romney. (vo) she's joy behar. >>and the best part is that current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking?

♪

>> announcer: >> is dangerous. why the hell doesn't the government step in and tell us what we can and can't watch. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: it is the "stephanie miller show." welcome to it. with kathleen madigan, comedienne extrordanaire live in studio. >> sitting up straight. >> stephanie: yes, you are. you are doing a great job. [ applause ] >> i have advil on stand by. >> or some leftover vicodin after having her tooth pulled. >> i passed that on to my parents. there is something going on with them. golf and backs. i had extra, better than selling it at a bar -- >> my mom uses vicodin when she

wants to clean the house because it gets her all amped up. >> stephanie: it is not a cleaning product. there is something about mary -- [ laughter ] >> stephanie: you were somehow obsessed with justin bieber news earlier -- [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> yeah, i just saw the story. >> he was two hours late for a concert. >> probably vicodin. >> probably. you get really comfortable on the couch, and get involved with the id channel and it's one murder after another. and people will kill one another for like $18. it's fascinating. >> stephanie: that's horrible. >> yeah. >> stephanie: you need at least 30. social media i don't get it and maybe it's because i'm old. a teen gets death threats after being retweeted by justin

bieber. all she said is not really a fan of justin bieber but his aucustic album is pretty good. he retweeted her and she started to get death threats. eventually demands that courtney kill herself, lead to the rumor that she was pregnant with his child. >> she tweeted something nice to begin with. usually if she would have written -- i think this album is horrible, then expect the attack, but she wrote something nice --

>> stephanie: yeah it's high tech bullying. >> and it's anonymous. >> that's the problem. and then i'll get caught up i'll tell you what monkey brain 16,048, i have got news for you -- >> yeah it's crazy out there. >> you are seeing how many crazy people there are. and usually it starts with all caps. >> yeah, check the yahoo! comment section -- >> and their picture is usually an egg. >> oh yeah. >> jim was trying to point out if you read yahoo! stories the comment section, all written by yahoos. >> do they eventually go into christ? nike driver aren't really good.

jesus would never have used the nike driver. what? >> stephanie: yeah, all of the comments are usually kenyan! >> nazi communist liberal. [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: this whitney houston story, it's really sad. fbi files claims someone bribed whitney houston for hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep quiet about her private life. an extorsion case that was closed without anyone being prosecuted. the author who whitney considered a friend demanded unless she paid $100,000 she would release details about her

private life. >> whitney clearly hadn't watched enough television. you can't get involved in the unofficial offer. once you start negotiating -- it's not going to end well. >> she should have stumbled upon the id channel. >> stephanie: you promise this will never come out even after i'm dead right. [♪ dramatic music ♪] >> i liked it back then if you had people doing weird things you could just call the fbi. now -- look how much -- i have probably gotten a hundred hate mails since i have been here. who are you going to call? does mark zuckerberg care? >> stephanie: yeah, someone said something mean about someone defriended me again. >> can i please speak to

mr. zuckerberg this is an emergency! i have been defriends by eight people. >> stephanie: lindsay lohan is rejecting charlie sheen as a mentor. >> that offer was on the table? >> stephanie: papershe knows her life is out of control, but does not think she needs the man to help her regain control. her lawyer said lindsay does not have a problem with alcohol or drugs. she is totally sober. [ phyllis diller laughter ] >> what is advice going to be?

>> stephanie: david copperfield, no imagine plane makes emergency landing. after the plane started making strange noises. >> so he couldn't just suspend the plane in midair. >> stephanie: he brought in denzel washington to land it. >> you can react quicker if you are doing cocaine. >> were there snakes on the plane. >> stephanie: no, they had all been asked to [ censor bleep ] leave. cd in missouri you are on with kathleen. >> caller: good morning, i have been watching you for a long time. good morning to the mooks, and kathleen hang in there on the cigarettes. i wish i would quit, but i love them too much. >> yeah, you can come over to my house and smoke them and i'll watch you, and wish i was you.

[ laughter ] >> caller: i want to state that the stock market is up there over what it's been in i'd say five-plus years -- >> stephanie: right. >> caller: i'm an investor and corporate america does -- [ explosion ] >> stephanie: i did not see that f-bomb coming. >> no. >> probably should not drink before he calls. >> we have had a lot of that this morning. >> well, it is 11:30 on the east coast. and he sounded a little rural. you don't know what can happen in rural america. >> stephanie: ozarks. sounded a little rural.

donald in illinois. [ laughter ] >> caller: are you calling from a rural area donald? >> caller: no. maybe it is a little rural but seeing as i was happening to notice what your comment was about meet the press. and i always felt the same way. it's like they never ask the hard questions. they just set up talking points. and when he was asking boehner the question about what obama has done, and he mentioned that obama hasn't done anything, and then the guy in white hair i don't remember his name, he said obama did bring something forward, blah blah blah -- >> stephanie: right. >> caller: obama didn't really do anything. and instead of going further with that. because he just set it up for boehner to say that is not true and he should have attacked boehner right there and then and told him -- there is facts that

59% of the democrats were all in favor of this -- this -- you know, this policy that they brought up, and these people -- they either go on filibusters or go on vacation and nothing ever gets done. >> stephanie: yep. >> caller: and what really kills me about this whole thing, the republicans will always get away with this because they don't have a media that holds them accountable for anything. and in 2014 we are going to lose the house. i don't think we're going to get it. we got the -- the cards are stacked up against the democrats. >> stephanie: yeah, but don't say that. we can't say that at this point. i understand about gery man der dering, but you can't give up before the fight. how much lower can their approval rating get, republicans? >> it is at the bottom. so it will just be new people.

>> stephanie: new people he hate as much. >> yes. >> stephanie: all right. we'll be right back with the remaining moments of the "stephanie miller show." >> more than our share of negativism -- >> announcer: it's the "stephanie miller show." ♪ his ability, is trying to look out for us.

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(vo) it's the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. on the next vanguard: it's a pretty, little town, with a pretty big problem. >> it's like an infection, and the longer they let it set in,

the harder it's going to be to get rid of it. ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ you can ring my bell bring my bell ♪ ♪ you can ring my bell ring my bell ♪ >> really? i can ring your bell? i don't have to buy you dinner first or anything? >> stephanie: na. this hour brought to you by go

to my pc. try it free for 45 days with this special offers enter the promo code stephanie. we were just looking at out our gray sky here in los angeles, and you said it is supposed to rain and kathleen madigan in her usual happy tone said that will be great for driving to anaheim. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: when you ask someone how long is it going to take to get somewhere, and they both laughed at me you know it's bad. >> i have had to do that before. it doesn't end well. >> if there is construction -- i had a gig in santa monica -- it look me two hours to get there. >> and boy, your listeners in

chicago really care. >> stephanie: he gave the best chicago driving tip ever and that is don't take the paul ryan expressway expressway. >> yeah, the paul ryan expressway is like segments that go nowhere. >> stephanie: but people will brave traffic to come see me april 13th. and kathleen madigan at the grove. and saturday night. >> in the less traffic destination, thousand oaks. maybe i'll just go straight from anaheim there after the show. i won't even wait until after the morning. >> stephanie: people that love kathleen madigan love kathleen madigan, like my boy toy jeff. >> yes he says he kind of wants to chain you up in his apartment so he can always come home to

you. >> that is lovely in a weird serial killer kind of way. >> stephanie: didn't boy george chain somebody -- >> yes, he did. you're going to listen to karma karma again. >> stephanie: if you want a laugh, you want kathleen madigan chained to one of your walls. >> yeah. >> stephanie: hey, funny pant elf shoes, tell a joke. >> i don't think lewis black would stand for being chained to a wall. >> no. >> what are you doing! >> stephanie: kathleen madigan was like i brought something with me and we were like oh my god, it is lewis black. and a right-wing caller decided to call in -- are you a moron?

what! >> i was glad you let that caller through because it only took an hour to calm down -- why do they do that! isn't there some kid that! can we get some coffee? nope, you can't! i can because i'm not having a stroke right now. >> stephanie: we're responsible for lewis black's mini stroke. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: let's go to rick in chicago. you are on the "stephanie miller show" with kathleen. hello, rick. >> caller: hi, kathleen how are you doing? >> good. >> caller: good. good. i wanted to comment on one of the comments i heard boehner say when he got out of meeting with obama. he made it very clear to the american people that well let's make it clear that obama already got a tax hike and that is just

the bush tax cuts expiring. >> stephanie: yeah, and we didn't even get back to where the rates were. >> exactly. that's the kind of thing that really upsets me, and i wanted to touch base on what your other caller said about the sequester, and asking why obama needed to sign it. that was an agreement between democrats and republicans to avoid the fiscal cliff. so republicans refuse to work together and they go look what we have already done. and you have done absolutely nothing. >> stephanie: exactly. exactly. >> i think lou should be obama's spokesperson. >> stephanie: i think so. his press secretary -- >> listen moron! >> yeah. he is a leader. it just depends on how you want to define one. but he is definitely a leader. >> stephanie: it's hard not to pay at attention when you have

someone screaming at you. >> yep. >> stephanie: are you pro we saw your boobs song or anti-? i loved it. i am old, and yet i'm immature. >> see -- >> i thought it was generational. >> i don't care about the part about jane fonda, but i would say can we raise the bar for the opening part and then sink into immature. >> stephanie: right. >> yeah, that is sort of a mid-show thing. >> yeah, there we go. mid-show, it's cute. but opening i'm like oh my -- i always think of steve martin and i thought he did it the best out of anyone, because he started and then he got silly -- >> stephanie: right. >> then he goes into now it's mid-show and i have an arrow back in my head, i get it. but i thought i don't know where we're going from here. >> stephanie: yeah.

that's why i was saying i don't know if it was generational -- >> in the case of jane fonda, she became a born-again christian sometime ago -- >> she has pulled back from that. >> oh, okay. >> stephanie: yeah. it's interesting because -- [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: ashley judd there is a theme -- ashley judd is being attacked now because she may run against mitch mcconnell for having done nude scenes, so i do get there's a sexist element of this -- >> we saw her boobs. >> stephanie: apparently. >> and we saw it was good. >> stephanie: the daily caller attacks ashley judd for nude scenes. the daily caller -- >> mitch once had a nude scene. i was seen without my shell. >> stephanie: arguing that judd because she has done nude scenes

for her work as an actress has literally nothing left to show us. she has bared her breasts in several films and had raunchy sex scenes in others -- you are right, seeing mitch topless -- [ screaming ] >> he probably has bigger boobs than she does. >> stephanie: yeah, not in a good way. >> i love that they are attacking people that haven't yet decided to run. save your money. what if she says no? you just wasted all of that money. that was karl rove's deallio. >> yeah. >> stephanie: okay. fine. at least let's not picture karl rove topless because that -- [ screaming ] [♪ "world news tonight" theme ♪] >> stephanie: let's end with a portly individual wearing a batm