matters worse. as of mid-april you still have to remove your shoes, but you'll now be allowed to bring on board pocketknives, as long as the blade is only two inches long, two golf clubs ski poles, lacrosse sticks and hockey sticks. i don't see how that is going to help matters at airport security. after all how many people play lacrosse? but we all wear shoes. here is my message, you can have my damn hockey stick, just let me keep on my shoes. tomorrow congressman chris van hallen, and father thomas reese live from rome on the chances of looking for a new pope. and congress woman grace napolitano.

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: hello. i'm here. hello current tv land. jacki schechner, good morning. >> good morning. >> stephanie: or not. >> i'm here. can you hear me? >> stephanie: or not. perhaps we didn't test the technical capabilities. >> can you hear me? >> culver city has been wiped off the map. >> stephanie: maybe there is a sinkhole in culver city. >> in culvert city. >> can you not hear me? >> stephanie: jacki schechner is this big. if you go like this on your television, that's actual size. >> we don't know if there is a black box next to you on the screen. >> stephanie: all right so here's the bad news. this is what -- be careful of the company you keep.

the president's approval ratings and democrats coming down with the republicans because they're dragging us down with them. isn't that awesome? >> that's the plan. we'll talk about all of that. sexy liberal hal sparks. first of all, jacki schechner we hope in the current news center. >> we'll figure out what's going on next time around. meanwhile, president obama has invited a group of republican senators to the white house tonight for dinner in an effort to continue to have some sort of reasonable conversation and maybe find a compromise that could end the sequester. the president's been making calls to republicans who might be willing to cut a bipartisan deal. he has spoken with senators lindsey graham, susan collins rob portman bob corker, among others. without revealing details of the conversations, there is an inned case he may have a window of opportunity to find some common ground. the president's outreach is a deliberate move to circumvent g.o.p. congressional leadership who is adamantly refusing to budge. the president's also expected to make a rare trip up to the hill

next week to meet separately with both the republican and democratic caucuses in both chambers. turns out the tea party is just not that into rick scott anymore. henry kelly has some creative words for the florida governor who, shockingly, decided to back the affordable care act expansion of medicaid for people making up to 133% of the poverty level. kelly writes on his blog "i'm trying to figure out how medicaid is going to pay to remove the knife in my back." scott is not shy about making a complete 180 after federal government granted florida a waiver to use private funds for plans. scott has a history of being cool with taxpayer money fund-raising private industry. they may win on killing the medicaid expansion anyway because a special committee in the republican-dominated state house has voted to get rid of it. we're back after the break. stay with us.

billy zane stars in barabbas. coming in march to reelz. to find reelz in your area, go to reelz.com the chill of peppermint. the rich dark chocolate. york peppermint pattie get the sensation. irene, drop the itch. we dropped the itch, you can too. maximum strength scalpicin® is not a shampoo so you can stop intense itch fast, wherever you are. i dropped the itch. drop the itch with scalpicin®.

>> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ >> stephanie: it is the "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. six minutes after the hour. sexy liberal hal sparks, hour number three. representative peter welch from the teeny tiny state of vermont. >> he's the only representative from vermont. >> stephanie: he's the regular sized representative from a very small state. >> it is a beautiful state. >> stephanie: stephaniemiller.com. you can e-mail us all there chris lavoie, voice deity jim

ward, or me, stephanie miller. we have lots to get to. let's see. jim writes guys the other day you were talking about a listener who was high while listening to the show. jim made the comment. i listen to you from tunisia. we could move to tunisia and do afternoon drive and not have to -- >> go to bed at stupid o'clock. >> that's a bit of a commute. >> i think you would have to wear a burka. >> stephanie: little afternoon drive. i'm back. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] looky here. stephanie miller journalistic oversight. first of all, it is hard when nobody uses journalism normally in the same sentence as stephanie miller. i guess this would be a complaint letter. chris in chicago writes dear ms. miller, i'm a small businessman who stumbled upon your show in 2004, 2005.

i'm hooked. i won't mention about miller and howell on wckg. now we're going back. good morning everybody. when was that? i'm too old to remember. >> in the '80s. late '80s. >> stephanie: that hair. the original nose. i left my nose in chicago. >> i left nigh -- i left my nose on lower wacker. >> there has been a dire journalistic oversight. i have not heard anybody say sweaty in the who for months now. >> sweaty in this who. >> stephanie: i apologize. i will see you at -- oh we have it? ♪ are we about to get sweaty in the who ♪ >> stephanie: i'll see you meet and grope, fourth row. i'll be the unreasonably excited guy laughing hard enough to cause damage to my own internal

organs which means i'll blend in with everybody else doing the same thing. chicago. it's time to stand up for your sexy amendment rights. >> a well intoxicated media being necessary for the sanity of sexy liberals the right of the people to laugh out loud shall not be infringed. >> the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour is coming to the windy city to fight for your right to keep and bear all. ♪ i'm making my way back to chicago ♪ >> if you haven't witnessed this epic record-breaking comedy tour before -- [ bleep ] and even if you have, do it again! because. ♪ you ain't seen nothing yet ♪ >> live at the chicago theatre. ♪ i'm sexy and i know it ♪ >> hal sparks, john fuglesang and the darling of progressive media, stephanie miller are bringing a whole new level of naughty comedy to chicago. tickets are available by going to ticketmaster.com. that's the stephanie miller sexy liberal comedy tour live at the chicago theatre.

for your tickets go to ticketmaster.com. >> no background check required. >> stephanie: i get why you played the 60 second people because people on tv could see you fixing my phone line. >> they messed it up. >> stephanie: thank you schneider. >> is it fixed? >> computer says no. >> stephanie: we might have to play a longer promo. these damn tv cameras, they can see what we're doing behind the scenes. >> there is no more behind the scenes. >> stephanie: we've lost our behind the scenes. damn you we've lost all of our privacy. okay. who agreed to this? oh, me, when i was drunk. all right. we have lots to get to including -- this was -- [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] president obama's approval rating has dropped to 42%. americans blame him and democrats almost as much as republicans for the fiscal mess. just what they were counting on. exactly. that's the thing. most people don't even -- watch the chiron on it. are both sides equally to blame?

>> i saw it on tv. it must be the case. >> they asked the question, that must be the answer. >> stephanie: the mainstream media is doing the fox question. you ever read fox chirons just the premise is ridiculous, however. that would make you, jim a well sequestered man. >> hmm? >> stephanie: that would make you, jim -- ♪ ♪ shuts us down by 9 ♪ ♪ help the helpless ♪ ♪ it's the same thing every time ♪ ♪ because the world is built on catastrophe ♪ ♪ he's not so fine ♪ ♪ he's oh, so selfish in his party and his mind ♪

>> stephanie: ha ha. rocky mountain mike. >> and that was by the kinks. >> stephanie: right, right. who doesn't know that. me. >> you were in rock n' roll radio for awhile. >> wkcg, actually. >> stephanie: late '80s. >> the kinks were a hit by then. >> the kinks were a hit in the '60s. >> they had a hit in the '80s. >> they had a lot of hits. >> stephanie: a little former radio deejay explosion there. everybody come back. [ explosion ] i started in oldies. when i was young, i was in oldies. what's the irony in that? i remember playing band of gold like 1,000 times. s. >> they play songs from the '80s on oldies stations now. >> stephanie: now i'm really old! >> the '90s are oldies now. >> nirvana "smells like teen spirit" is old now.

[ laughter ] >> stephanie: oh boy. senator john cornyn on the sequester. >> president obama reminds me of the little boy who cried wolf. his credibility has been strained by claims that his administration of pink slips for teachers that we find out weren't going to issue as a result of the sequester. >> stephanie: nice. drops little boy reference in. that's nice. >> great. >> stephanie: has the benefit of being patronizing condescending and a little bit tiny racist. nicely done, sir. >> stephanie: they're the ones saying these are going to be devastating and dumb cuts. they're trying to play gotcha with the president. they're trying to put forth bills to stop the military from being hurt. they know these are dumb cuts. by the way speaking of credibility and john cornyn, have you seen this story? [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] nearly two weeks have passed since john cornyn told tens of thousands of twitter followers that a trend is seeing -- a

friend is seeing border crossings on his property. there is a confession he's making stuff up. who is your mysterious friend, john cornyn? putting the spotlight on cornyn's as yet unsubstantiated claim. >> the sequester is hitting border security. >> stephanie: maybe that's why the friend is seeing hundreds of thousands a night. okay. janet napolitano. >> the sequestration is like a "rolling stone." picking up speed as it goes downhill. we could see a lot of misconnections. average wait times to clear customs can increase by a significant percentage. we'll not be able to pay tsa workers overtime. i'm not trying to alarm you it is just doing the math.

>> stephanie: just lay there. >> he wasn't into the speed. he was into the heroin. >> stephanie: couldn't gather speed technically. >> sit there when you're on heroin. you don't really move. >> stephanie: "rolling stone." get him to stand upright first. all right. you know, excuse me. paul our buddy, our pal wrote -- you'll be proud of me. there is a tad bit of obama -- >> there was. i was debating on whether to send it to you or not. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: no but i think -- the polling this is the problem. i think it comes from a place that the president's just -- he's better. he believes better of people and maybe he should because these republicans are awl!

awful! they're historically, unprecedentedly awful! this is the problem we were saying that they're trying to take the president and democrats down with him. >> he's letting them. >> stephanie: this is paul writes about barack's blunder. i'll take john boehner at his word. this is not supposed to happen, presuming the other party has some modicum of concern about the country. >> no, they don't. >> stephanie: right. yes. but because this happened in the first place because they would have let the united states default. first of all unprecedented. paul writes one reason the manufactured crisis of the sequester is because the white house somehow believed reason to triumph over partisanship. >> should know better by now. >> stephanie: president was questioned about this back then. i'll take john boehner at his word that nobody, democrat or republican, is willing to see the full faith and credit of the united states government. >> well, you're wrong. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: if you listen to

his original speech we all fell in love with him the red states and blue states, i think he does believe in that america. god bless him. this is a new breed of republicans. i've never even seen -- >> used to believe in santa claus, too. >> stephanie: that would not be a good thing to happen. i think there will be significant discussions on the debt limit vote. that's something no one wants to vote on. he will have responsibility to govern. he can't just stand on the sidelines and be a bomb thrower. wrong again unfortunately. about a gala writes barack obama is a remarkably gifted politician. at times he seems to lack the imagination to conceptualize how an highlistic and crazy his republican opponents are. the last democratic president saw republicans squander millions including taking 140 hours of sworn testimony investigating president clinton's christmas card list and drag the country through an impeachment process. despite that history and despite

that obama may be dealing with republicans who are more ideological and self-destructive, he's still expressed a blind faith in their reasonableness. our president is nothing if not smart. he has adapted. fortunately or our nation, the president seems to have hit upon a strategy that works. democrats seem to be more mainstreamed. this is the latest poll by a 3-1 margin, the latest "wall street journal" nbc poll, the g.o.p. prefers partisanship to unity. our president has conclude rather that try to reason with his adversaries, it is better to fight off the bad guys. he's talking about that he's been out at least on the road talking about this. that he's been -- what else can he do but try to bring public pressure to bear on these people. i was reading a headline today that now that they've gotten these cuts, it is like any hostage crisis, now they want more! now paul ryan is talking about privatizing medicare even more.

now that we have some cut let's really get -- what? >> going back on his promise to not change the age. >> stephanie: right, the age. >> how can trust that party? >> stephanie: yeah. literally, they're all on record as saying these are dumb, destructive. they're like this is good. let's do more! >> they'll say one thing to try to get elected during a campaign and then they'll just completely go back on those promises. >> stephanie: they're like well shooting a hostage it is like chinese food, you shoot one, you're hungry enough to shoot another one. even i didn't see this coming. >> but you should have expected it. >> stephanie: oh i should have. i shouldn't have. i'm a fart joke comedian. 19 minutes after the hour. kids i'm busy with the fart jokes. got a lot to do. places to go. business travel, appointments. >> fart jokes to tell.

>> right. >> two farts walk into a bar. >> stephanie: that's why i use go to my pc by citrix. you can securely access your entire office, computer or home computer from wherever you are from any mac pc or tablet. all the fancy options. the edit, send any file, that kind of stuff. just saying. >> i've done it. >> just as if you were sitting at your desk. you can be at your work, coffee shop airport hotel. >> your couch. >> chris's couch in case you're lazy. go to my pc. easy to use. especially if you're lazy. try go to my pc free today. it is awesome. get a special 45-day free trial just for my listeners. gotomypc.com. enter the promo code stephanie. download the free app to your mobile device. promo code, stephanie. 20 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: finally, talk radio you can dance to.

it's "the stephanie miller show." now find the most hard core driver in america. that guy, put him in it. what's this? [ male announcer ] tell him he's about to find out. you're about to find out. [ male announcer ] test it. highlight the european chassis 6 speed manual, dual exhaust wide stance, clean lines have him floor it, spin it punch it, drift it put it through its paces is he happy? oh ya, he's happy! [ male announcer ] and that's how you test your car for fun. easy. save them. woolite everyday cleans your jeans

and won't torture your tanks. woolite washed clothes look like new, longer. break the ice with breath-freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. [ lisa ] my name's lisa, and chantix helped me quit. i honestly loved smoking and i honestly didn't think i would ever quit. [ male announcer ] along with support chantix is proven to help people quit smoking. it reduces the urge to smoke. it put me at ease that you could smoke on the first week. [ male announcer ] some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood hostility, agitation depressed mood and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping chantix.

if you notice any of these stop taking chantix and call your doctor right away. tell your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems which could get worse while taking chantix. don't take chantix if you've had a serious allergic or skin reaction to it. if you develop these stop taking chantix and see your doctor right away as some can be life-threatening. if you have a history of heart or blood vessel problems tell your doctor if you have new or worse symptoms. get medical help right away if you have symptoms of a heart attack. use caution when driving or operating machinery. common side effects include nausea trouble sleeping and unusual dreams. with chantix and with the support system it worked. it worked for me. [ male announcer ] ask your doctor if chantix is right for you.

>> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> with a distinctly satirical point of view. if you believe in state's rights but still believe in the drug war you must be high. >> only on current tv.

>> caller: the dow jones was at 6,000. >> stephanie: the dow is at a record high and the president is a socialist. how do you pull that off? >> caller: that's my point. i keep repeating it, stephanie. larry kudlow is just as bad with the corporate profits hitting record highs and they don't hire anybody. >> stephanie: yep. absolutely. by the way, this just in. chris lavoie, really bad producer. he forgot to tell me that was an online poll. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> abc news. they're a bad news organization because they didn't mention it was an online poll? >> stephanie: all right. we're passing the buck to abc. >> yes! >> stephanie: so we take back even the skosh of obama saying

i -- i take it back now so do you! [ buzzer ] >> do i? >> stephanie: yes. >> i take it back or i'm fired. >> stephanie: democrats are coming down along with the republicans over the fiscal mess. that was an online poll, notoriously unreliable. paul did quote the actual poll, the wall street nbc news poll that shows americans view them as more partisan. even if you pay a skosh amount of attention, you would have to be able to pick up. >> most people don't pay a skosh amount of attention. >> stephanie: they obviously do because it is 3-1. >> obama keeps hoping the republicans would be reasonable and thoughtful and do the right thing and they won't. they want to destroy him. that's their sole goal and they've admitted it. >> obama is maybe too good of a guy. >> stephanie: let's get a crappier guy. >> not crapless. >> stephanie: anita in san antonio. welcome. >> caller: hi, steph.

good morning steph. good morning panel. >> stephanie: we should be named the nameless panel from now on. >> caller: okay, the nameless panel. steph, i'm sorry. first time caller. >> stephanie: that's okay. >> caller: i don't understand why the president is expecting these people to be reasonable. they wanted him they tried desperately to try him to make him a one-term president and now they seem determined to make him a failed two-term president. >> stephanie: right. >> which is what they tried to do with clinton. >> caller: exactly. they won't be reasonable. they'll never deal with him. they'll continue to try to find ways to destroy his place in history. >> stephanie: you know, that's the thing anita. paul does make some good, historical points because you think boy just when you think they couldn't get more partisan, as you said, they did shut the government down and drag the country through an impeachment process, that, as you recall, nobody wanted. 677% of the -- 77% of the

american people didn't think clinton should be impeached over his private life. >> caller: i remember that well. >> stephanie: the fact that we have an even more partisan brand of republicans it really is fairly stunning, isn't it? >> caller: it is. i don't understand why he's dealing with them. because it seems to me his popularity rises when he just -- when -- and he talks about how progressive -- >> stephanie: i got ya. unfortunately, the country is set up that he has to deal with them. you can't say why do you deal with them? right-wing world and by the way, bill o'reilly loses his [ bleep ] in right-wing world. we'll do it live! 29 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." criticizing, and holding policy to the fire. are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night? political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i am given to doing anyway. staying in

tough with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care about them, right? vo: the war room tonight at 6 eastern

>> announcer: stephanie miller. >> nothing feels like beaver. >> what? >> stephanie: okay what? it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 34 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. jodie in michigan on fox news. hi jodie. >> caller: hi. >> stephanie: go ahead. >> caller: i have a question. i understand first amendment right, right to free speech but i am extremely concerned and wonder why fox news is able to pass off -- am i on the air? >> stephanie: sadly perhaps

for both of us. go ahead. >> caller: okay. i understand my first amendment right but how does fox news get away with calling them news without some type of a disclaimer that they are not reporting facts? >> stephanie: you know what? that is a good question. that's a good question. how does that happen, chris? on a daily basis. >> the fcc doesn't worry about that kind of thing. they worry about dirty words. >> stephanie: like potato chips, some fact settling may have occurred. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] news should have quotation marks. >> news is packaged by weight, not volume. some settling may have occurred. >> stephanie: may cause gastrointestinal distress. [farting sounds] >> fun no! >> stephanie: all right. what's not fun. it is actually entertainment. it is not news, it's entertainment. what's more entertaining when bill o'reilly loses his

[ bleep ] on a liberal. in this case, alan combs. >> hold it. i'm getting teed off at you. give hee one damn program he said -- >> he said he would cut entitlements. >> entitlements! >> why are you yelling at me? >> because you're lying. >> i'm not lying. >> don't you sit there and call me a liar. >> you're lying! >> you're not a liar. >> don't sit there and call me a liar. >> we can have a disagreement without calling me a liar. that's not necessary. >> you are lying. >> i'm not lying. there is a difference between having a disagreement and calling me a liar. that's a personal attack. >> this is why i'm calling. >> liar. give me one example of one program he would cut. >> he would cut medicare and medicaid. >> that's not -- that is not a program. >> yes, it is, you ass. >> what a moron. >> that's not a program. >> oh, my god. >> medicaid is a program. >> stephanie: yes. this is the whole -- because you

know what the problem is, they won't let anyone puncture the story line. that's the republican lie. the president has not -- >> bending over backwards for them including a chain cpi and all of the means testing. >> wow! >> stephanie: if you have truth on your side -- >> shut up! you're a liar. truth is a lie. >> stephanie: my goodness. he kept his cool as much as he could but holy cow. >> stephanie: wow. bill o'reilly again. has he settled down now? >> we'll do it live. >> i'm getting very frustrated with president obama. it has nothing to do with ideology. it has to do with performance. mr. obama is not trying to solve the fiscal -- >> oh, shut up! >> will not cut spending and will not put forth any specific plan to do so. he wills not give his vision on entitlement reform.

which is hurting the treasury. the president is the leader of the country. it is his job to get the debate started with concrete proposals. mr. obama simply will not do it. >> stephanie: it is on his web site. >> whitehouse.gov. >> it is on his web site! look at the web site. he's asking for loopholes tax loopholes for the rich to be closed in order to get more revenue. >> shut up! liar! shut up! >> stephanie: he seemed much more comfortable with just his face to put the lies out directly. >> i think he needs to be in some kind of program. >> you think so? >> what are you suggesting? >> someplace with soft music playing and padded walls. >> stephanie: with pretty birds and you can see -- >> nice, comfortable jacket. >> stephanie: it makes you feel snugly. it makes you feel spooned. >> they're coming to take me away ha ha, ho ho, hee hee. >> stephanie: the jacket that

makes you feel spooned permanently. >> where you can't hurt yourself. >> spoon yourself. >> stephanie: where you can hold yourself. >> and rock gently. >> rock gently. >> back and forth. >> we're just helping. >> stephanie: this is why people are so cynical about government. and the presumption that we're so ignorant that the president of the united states, the commander in chief would not choose to cut nonessential positions, you just said there's 400 job postings over not -- not canceling deployment of an aircraft carrier to the persian gulf or to releasing illegal immigrants are we that stupid or is he that irresponsible? >> he's a demagogue which i think is the answer. >> that's your answer to everything because you're a pinhead. to quote your friend, bill o'reilly. who should be in a facility somewhere. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: jim is in a mood and we're only two sound bytes in. laura ingraham.

>> at some point the overreach does happen. obama is not invincible. he won a second term. that's all you need to know is he won. he did win. at some point they're going to look like they're not adults. they're campaigners, really good at that. but the country -- it is suffering. and it depends on how good the republicans are at actually setting the table here. in the past, they've been pretty abysmal at messaging and explaining this to the american people. are they going to be better this time around? we'll see. >> they would have to lie. >> stephanie: if only we had the adults like the romneys in charge. everyone saw that magical charm again. it just reappeared. >> ann: stop it! >> stephanie: there's no adults in charge now. okay. is it me or is it the congressional republicans that have been in a perpetual tantrum since -- okay. brian kilmeade, fox and friends. >> the president's real goal, it makes sense. this isn't a rumor.

he's getting money together. pick up the phone and called nancy pelosi. my goal is to make you speaker again so the next two years he will be spending campaigning raising money to the tune of $50 million. >> so. that's what politicians do. >> stephanie: you mean to get a reasonable congress back that he can work with? [ cuckoo clock chimes ] >> helping other people to -- position of power in the government! who does that! >> i don't think brian kilmeade quite understands -- >> i don't think he understands anything. >> how government works. >> stephanie: he's been hit -- >> why is there a box with a lens on it looking at me? >> stephanie: why is that red light still on? >> i think brian kilmeade was hit in the head. >> what is this thing in front of me? why is it there? >> stephanie: it was there yesterday. it's there again. okay. >> poor fella. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: every day is like a sick -- a new riceball. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ]

>> there is a bright thing coming up on the horizon. >> stephanie: honey it's the sun. we went over there. it went down. >> every day? >> stephanie: yes. >> brian kilmeade is a total slow loris. >> stephanie: children go in the other aren't. i need to explain to daddy about the sun again. >> honey it's dark! what happened? >> where did the bright thing go? >> stephanie: remember every night it goes down at the same time almost? children, do your homework. >> he shouldn't have changed his name from dill weed. >> stephanie: that was a little impromptu skit of the kilmeade family proud to you by the stephanie players. >> the panel. >> stephanie: in private life, i'm like oh, panel. >> we're particleboard to you. >> stephanie: hi, panel. rush limbaugh.

>> look at, if they're anything positive happening in the economy, a very positive numbers, they're faint. but beyond that, the regime is going to get credit for it. the republicans aren't going to get credit for anything. >> the stock market. >> stephanie: any good numbers -- like the dow. >> the dow is fake. >> stephanie: they're making up the dow now too? >> wall street is fake. >> you go to wall street, it is a village nobody is there. >> stephanie: we end with lou dobbs. [ laughter ] we end with lou dobbs on fox business channel. we're the first three people that heard this. >> we're watching inexplicably without any, any voice from the department of homeland security, we're watching another purchase of 7,000 ar-15-like rifles. we're watching two billion rounds of ammunition, principally 40 and .9

millimeter. what in the world is going on as the homeland department -- the department of homeland security seems to be arming up and the administration is trying to disarm american citizens. >> oh, come on. >> no. i saw a story about this. it wasn't the homeland security department. it was the marines that put in an order. >> stephanie: the marines are arming themselves? >> what! the marines have guns? the marines have guns! hold me! i'm scared. where is the bright thing? >> hold on, security! >> stephanie: honey, the sun. it's the sun it's the sun. >> oh god lou dobbs is an idiot. oh, my god. [ applause ] >> stephanie: marines are armed. >> they have guns! >> we don't have a basement. >> stephanie: okay. all right. >> our peek into the kilmeade household. >> is alex jones writing for him

now? >> stephanie: for brian kilmeade? for lou dobbs, wow, that was a little -- nice try at fearmongering, wasn't it? >> it was completely false. completely different part of the government. >> stephanie: all right. >> i think the onion. >> no wonder he's relegated to the fox business channel. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: we'll peek back in on the kilmeade family later and see what latest thing brian is startled by. 45 minutes after the hour. >> there's a light bulb rolling across the floor! >> stephanie: sorry, honey. ha minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> she gets insulted by more right-wingers before 6:00 a.m. than most people do all day. it's "the stephanie miller show." >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. you would rather deal with ahmadinejad than me. >>absolutely. >> and so would mitt romney. (vo) she's joy behar. >>and the best part is that

current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking?

i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ caribbean queen ♪ ♪ heart that is beat as one ♪ ♪ no more love on the run ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." i see what you're doing there. playing billy ocean because we were trying to think of another skit. brian kilmeade who we just played in fox news perpetually startled the president might fund raise try to get -- get other democrats in he thinks he can work with in congress. it is a whole new -- >> how does that happen? >> stephanie: startled by the sunrise. >> bright thing in the sky. what is that? >> stephanie: sun again remember? now we bring you the stephanie miller players, the kilmeade

family at the beach. >> that water is coming toward me. what am i going to do? where is it going? why does it do that? come back, water. there it is. ha, ha ha, ha. [ applause ] >> stephanie: thank you. another edition of the stephanie miller players. imagine the seasons in the kilmeade house. imagine every fall. ah! the leaves are coming off the trees! why are the trees bare again? >> are the trees sick? >> stephanie: no, honey the trees are not sick. remember this happens every year at this time? leaves fall. spring. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> what are the white things in the sky? >> it's cold. >> stephanie: snow again. snow. it is winter. winter on the east coast. all right. >> why are my hands so cold? >> stephanie: here's your mittens. remember, they're tached to your sleeves -- they're attached to

your sleeve. here's the hat with flaps. >> i want to put my tongue on a lamppost. i want to lick it. ahhhhh! >> stephanie: spring equally upsetting. why are there so many green things everywhere? >> what is that? >> stephanie: what are these bugs again? it is summer, mosquitoes. >> those are daffodils. >> stephanie: yellow makes him -- on his medication. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. feel free to chime in. things brian kilmeade is startled by. doug in jersey, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hello, doug. hello. hi doug. >> caller: hey hi. i'm calling about the -- hi, stephanie, chris and jim.

i'm calling the popularity drop in obama's polls. i don't think it is anything the republicans said because you know, they're always stupid. i don't think there is a change -- i think what obama is saying about medicare is scaring some of the progressives. we don't like him dealing with -- >> stephanie: you ought to take a listen to what paul ryan is saying. wowee! [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] he may update his medicare privatization plan. the handy dandy vouchers. we need to find that voucher hospital bit to include changes for americans older than 55. he said he would never ever touch anybody's anything -- [ ♪ hypnotic ♪ ] representative paul ryan facing speculation he may update his medicare privatization plan to include changes for americans older than 55. people his prior budget exempted from reforms in order to fulfill his republican leadership's promise to align revenues and

spending within ten years. he is probably not even answering his mother's calls. he used his mom as a campaign prop. you know now where she is. ♪ where good doctors have bold ideas ♪ ♪ voucher hospital ♪ ♪ voucher hospital brought to you by ace hardware ♪ >> dr. ryan. >> hello, mary. well, aye got good news and bad news. >> yes? >> first, the bad news. you need a bypass operation and it costs $167,000. >> the good news? >> the good news, i have a voucher here. >> this is for $2 off an extra value mean at wendy's. >> wrong voucher. >> here you go. this is for $2 off a $167,000 bypass operation. >> you're welcome. >> will mary get her bypass operation? will dr. ryan be able to use the voucher for 18 holes at pebble

beach? tune in tomorrow for voucher hospital. >> stephanie: that part of the road isn't finished! [crashing sounds] >> every direction is the wrong direction on the paul ryan expressway. >> stephanie: robbie, you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: how you doing? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: i'm always thinking about this. i know people always throw around the idea that obama is a socialist and all of that. but you know -- >> stephanie: people that are dumb will throw that around. >> caller: people without dictionaries. >> stephanie: right. >> caller: but they never, ever talk about how republicans are acting like fascists. you know, that's the word that never comes up. it is basically the same thing. they're working off capitalism and they're working off the people in control suppressing the people below them. what the republicans are seeming to try to do.

i just don't understand, why do they always call the word socialist but they never call out the word fascist? >> stephanie: because they're not name-callers like those idiots. >> it is a dog whistle. socialism, i don't know what it means but i think it's bad. >> by the way, there is already a hashtag on twitter. things brian kilmeade is startled by. so go ahead -- >> stephanie: by the stephanie miller players. >> go ahead and submit your own suggestions. >> stephanie: kilmeade at the beach in the last 20 seconds we just thought of that. >> the end of my fingers are growing. >> stephanie: fingernails. >> brian, just clip your nails. >> stephanie: honey, we talked about yesterday remember? >> okay, okay. >> stephanie: oh, my god, i have to get my haircut again! >> it is growing out of my head! >> it's growing! >> stephanie: remember, we talked about this. remember the polls?

remember. you get a lolly. >> i like lollipops. [ applause ] >> stephanie: hey is this a good idea? u.s. to allow small knives to be carried on a plane. >> that's not a good idea. >> stephanie: what's that all aboot? >> like pocket knives. >> stephanie: now we have the opportunity to get shivved on a plane. >> if we can't have butter knives, we shouldn't be able to have pocket knives. >> stephanie: what are they going to do? allow whittling on planes? >> why do you need a pocketknife on a plane? >> stephanie: to whittle. >> i think they frown upon that. it makes a mess. >> you can whittle in coach. >> stephanie: you know who likes to whittle on planes? barbara walters. i want to whittle. >> whittle me this, batman. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: wow, roger ailes, fox news chief called newt gingrich a -- well, a

[ bleep ], you know when you prick your finger on something. newt gingrich was a sore loser after he blamed fox news for supporting mitt romney during the primary. he also went on to say i have a soft spot for joe biden. i like him. he's dumb as an ashtray. really? you can say a lot of things about joe biden but not that he's dumb. >> he's not dumb. [ applause ] >> stephanie: no. roger ailes. hmm. >> i don't think they're going to get that joe biden booking now. >> stephanie: no. 58 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show."

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: hello current tv hour number two representative peter welch coming up. another edition of things brian kilmeade is startled by. >> where did the water go? will it ever come back? oh! [ laughter ] >> stephanie: oh, the perils of being mrs. kilmeade. >> is there a mrs. kilmeade? >> stephanie: i don't know. i could be -- >> she frightens him too. >> stephanie: what is this woman in my bed? honey, it's me. remember we turned the light out. >> it's dark. where did the light go? >> stephanie: switch, honey, here it is.

all right. they have clappers everywhere. easily startled. >> people will come up with clever things. >> hashtag things brian kilmeade is startled by. >> stephanie: jacki schechner is here at the top of the hour in the current news center. >> the white house has canceled its daily press briefing today because of snow. all federal offices are closed, too. while the national weather service has been able to track this current storm as usual "the washington post" reports the sequester could lead to less accurate weather reporting in the future. cuts could delay satellite launches which would lead to a gap in coverage which would impact the quality of forecast and warnings. and this may not be news to anyone who has been paying attention over the last decade but now it is official. we wasted a lot of money in iraq. fort bowen is the inspector general for iraq reconstruction and the final report is out

today. he is releasing it to congress. in it, he interviews prime minister nouri al-maliki who says u.s. money could have done a lot but was misspent and fell short and all in all had an unfavorable outcome. we spent $15 million a day to help iraq get back on its feet. the nation still suffers from corruption and infighting. its residents live in poverty with no guarantee of clean water or electricity and the fear of daily bombings. the report details the waste and fraud and failures and it is infuriating. senator susan collins said the bush administration should have made the money a loan to iraq instead of an outright gift. that would have helped keep expenditures in check. the hindsight is useful if we get smart about oversight in afghanistan and make sure the $90 billion we spent in the past 12 years there on reconstruction also isn't a giant waste once we leave. we're back after the break.

>> if you believe in state's rights but still support the drug war you must be high. >> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> do you think that there is any chance we'll see this president even say the words "carbon tax"? >> with an open mind... >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> ...and a distinctly satirical point of view. >> but you mentioned "great leadership" so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. >> (laughter). >> watch the show. >> only on current tv.

save them. woolite everyday cleans your jeans and won't torture your tanks. woolite washed clothes look like new, longer. [clucking]. everyone wants to be the cadbury bunny. cause only he brings delicious cadbury crème eggs, while others may keep trying. nobunny knows easter better than cadbury! [ male announcer ] it's red lobster's lobsterfest our largest selection of lobster entrees like lobster lover's dream or new grilled lobster and lobster tacos. come in now and sea food differently. visit redlobster.com now for an exclusive $10 coupon on two lobsterfest entrees.

>> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: this hour brought to you by go to my pc. access your entire work computer from your smart phone or tab lit like i do with the go to my pc mobile app. try go to my pc free for 45 days. for my special offer gotomypc.com. enter the promo code stephanie. we continue with our meme for this morning. things brian kilmeade is startled by. [toilet flushing] >> where is the water going?

there's the water, now it's gone. >> stephanie: it's back. look honey. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] remember? that happens every day. okay. all right. >> happens every day when you empty your bowels. she must be a saint. [ applause ] >> stephanie: all right. i was going to make a cable joke but -- [ buzzer ] he's on cable is my point. seems perpetually startled by everything. >> he was originally startled by the fact that sometimes presidents campaign for other people. >> there's money in politics? how does that work? >> stephanie: he's such a little lamb. he's a little lamb. >> he wakes up blinky as a new christmas morn. >> who are you? >> stephanie: every day is screaming goat day for mrs. kilmeade. brian, stop screaming. yes, the sun's up again. [ applause ] >> stephanie: children go get

mama more of her medicine. >> what are you suggesting about police station kilmeade? >> stephanie: nothing. nothing. >> brian where is my thorazine? what have you done with it? >> stephanie: children, could someone shoot mommy in the neck with the dart again? actually, it is for mr. kilmeade the tranquilizer dart. children shoot daddy. so he'll calm down. just so we can get through sundown. okay. okay. >> he acts like he's been shot with a dart before he goes on the air every morning. >> stephanie: he looks like he's been hit with a plane because his eyes are slightly -- you know a little googly. in three two -- >> welcome to fox and friends. andy in auburn -- >> what's that thing staring at me? >> stephanie: it is the camera again. remember, the red light's on? okay. andy in auburn.

i think everyone at fox news, like the staff is medicated everyone because of his overstartled response. okay. let's see. andy with the headline newsbusters -- [ bleep ] oh my. mama, yesterday i was listening to the -- last week, i make newsbusters every week. >> sure. >> stephanie: you also mentioned looking through the comment section. i was thrilled as i waded in there only a few hours before to defend mama but you didn't see anything i wrote. why? because the web master deleted them! [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] >> stephanie: see below. you can still find the responses to my snarky comments but the comments have been redacted. what a bunch of [ bleep ] no opposing views allowed. hoping the official grave digging guitarist of your show. oh we needed one! [ applause ] >> they don't allow anyone to defend mama in the

newsbusters comment section. >> they're thin-skinned over there, aren't they? [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] more bad news for ikea. if that's your favorite restaurant, more bad news for you. >> the furniture is made of horse meat? >> stephanie: right. i had problems with my stool there before. >> sorry what? >> stephanie: i bought a stool. >> i thought it was because you ate there. >> stephanie:, no i bought an actual stool. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] that was the story. it cost me more to get a handyman to put it together because it was this big and it came in 75 pieces. >> it comes with instructions. in swedish. >> and you're in the bathroom because you ate the horse meat meatballs. i think they're made of rafalca. i'm just guessing. >> they had to dispose of rafalca somehow. >> loser. >> stephanie: we do not -- the stephanie "the stephanie miller show" has no information as to what happened to campaign prop rafalca.

i'm sure she's grazing. doing lots of things. yikes. ikea recalls chocolate cakes after fecal bacteria. >> the help has been working at ikea apparently. >> stephanie: would you like pie? oh my god. in one magical degree of stephanie miller degrees separation, hot brie, melissa fitzgerald, good friends with octavia. yes! [ applause ] >> i did not know that. >> stephanie: from actress from "the help." week after pulling horse meat laden meatballs, the furniture maker is hit with another food scandal. jumpen jimny. there's pooh in our pies? this time around, the chain's chocolate almond cake which chinese authorities found contained excessive levels of

coloform bacteria which is present in -- [farting sounds] >> poop. >> only in china. not everywhere else. >> stephanie: right. >> that explains it. >> stephanie: sure. >> i think any level of fecal matter is probably -- >> stephanie: what is an acceptable level? >> there's led in melamine. >> if you're eating bottom feeding fish, you're pretty much guaranteed to be eating poop of some sort. >> i just think i'm gonna burst. >> you eat sushi. >> stephanie: incessantly. >> just sayin'. >> no wonder you're so thin. you've got all of those critters. >> stephanie: i eat a lot of fecal bacteria. >> parasites eating away at you. >> stephanie: okay. stanley in pennsylvania, you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: hi, steph and panel. i'm a new caller.

retired in december. this is one of the pluses is i met you guys. >> stephanie: oh, thank you. we're your new retirement friends. >> caller: i was one of those exploited part-time teachers at two schools no benis one third the salary. but anyway, my comment is the greatest republican stupidity my humble opinion which is to call president obama a traitor because he advocates socialism. even if he did where in the constitution does it say what economic system we should have? >> it doesn't. >> caller: it doesn't. >> you're right. >> caller: instituted it in the 1940s and voted it out in the '80s. i wish the american people were more aware. i wish the media would say more about that. >> stephanie: all right. we just did. >> let's ask brian kilmeade what he knows. >> what are these green things in my wallet? >> stephanie: money again. >> caller: good morning. >> stephanie: angela has more things brian kilmeade is

startled by. hi angela. >> caller: i put chocolate and peanut butter together. i think that startles him a lot. >> stephanie: all right. thank you. >> they're two great tastes that taste great together! >> stephanie: bill in madison you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: if you could actually guarantee that you could extricate yourself it might be interesting to spend a minute or two in that guy's head. >> oh, god no! nothing but swirly colors going on in there. >> stephanie: a lot of pinwheels. >> here's what we have since the quote of the ceiling crisis. over $2 trillion in cuts. we got a 0.4% increase in taxes for people making over $400,000 a year. and a 2% increase in taxes on the working poor and middle class. and last week, the president said at his press conference that he is open to changes in earned benefits and none of

those earned benefits have anything to do with the deficit that we're in right now. he's also said he's for the bowles simpson grand bargain. so i don't want -- >> stephanie: i don't know that he -- >> caller: while the other guys are playing checkers. >> stephanie: i don't think he's endorsed the bowles simpson just the way it is. i think -- >> caller: grand bargain. >> stephanie: so did boner. he came out and said i told boner not to do it. >> caller: before the debt ceiling crisis, both houses increased the debt ceiling twice. and they were ready to do it again. boehner and mcconnell are on record saying well, if we have to do it, we'll do it. and obama went for this sequester deal. he had the whip hand there. he didn't use it. he's got one more chance coming

up. >> stephanie: boehner was dealing with crazy tea party caucus. a lot of them were actively rooting for not raising the debt ceiling. i don't think it was a game. >> caller: we can't go back and say what would have happened. >> stephanie: we just did. >> caller: they did it twice. >> stephanie: all right. okay. coulda, woulda, should a. >> should not have even opened up -- >> stephanie: pam in new hampshire -- i just cut it off. pam in new hampshire. hello, pam. >> caller: hi, stephanie. how are you? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: good because i've been standing out in the cold so die lose my signal. i don't understand why we don't shut the government down. it's not working. maybe they'll come to revenue and wall street freaks out maybe they'll come to their senses because we're losing everything anyway. what do we have? what do we have? >> stephanie: i feel like we need to reboot. my iphone was acting up. you tell me just turn it off and

turn back on. it is all better. i just reboot. shut her down. okay. 17 minutes after the hour. you know what else works like magic on my computer? carbonite. i don't even understand it. i'm like a cave man seeing fire. i see a green dot and it means everything is safe. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] brian, it's fire. remember? we had a barbecue last week. fireplace. all right. anyway, my point is yeah, there is a green -- it means everything is safe up in the cloud. everything up in your computer. all of your financial documents your pictures, your music backing up your files, important but it is hard to remember to do it. you have stuff to do. carbonite does it for you automatically and continually whenever you're connected to the internet. set it up once and that's it. it will -- everything is in there. being backed up every time you're connected to the interweb. >> it is so easy, not even brian kilmeade would be startled by it. >> what's this green thing? >> stephanie: it's a dot. all of your stuff is being

backed up. plus you can access all of the files from any computer, tablet or smart phone. think about that. unlimited back-up space just $59 a year. carbonite has plans for the small business, for all of the computers. we have that here at the "the stephanie miller show." go to carbonite.com now. you'll get a free trial. no credit card required plus two free bonus months with your subscription carbonite.com. the offer code is stephanie. 18 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: for a good time, call now. 1-800-steph-12.

you're invited to take the lysol wipes challenge. try lysol dual action wipes and see the cleaning power. lysol dual action wipes have two sides instead of one. a scrubbing side that cleans tough stains better than clorox. and a smooth side for everyday touchups. all while killing 99.9% of germs. now you can take the lysol wipes challenge for free. check for coupons in this sunday's paper. the chill of peppermint. the rich dark chocolate. york peppermint pattie get the sensation.

you've heard stephanie's views. >>no bs, authentic, the real thing. >>now, let's hear yours at the only online forum with a direct line to stephanie miller. >>the only thing that can save america now: current television. >>join the debate now. >> announcer: stephanie miller.

♪ so bright i've got to wear shades ♪ ♪ i've got to wear shades ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 22 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. dale in georgia hi, dale, welcome. >> caller: morning y'all. >> stephanie: good morning. >> caller: the president is handling the sequester and the republicans in the correct way. he has learned they'll break every promise and deal that they make and then blame him for it. he's playing hardball with them. he knows the republicans are wholly owned and operated by their wealthy donors and that boner's -- senator boehner's looking glass -- alice in wonderland public statements are because he can't reveal the real agenda. we know what the agenda is. i don't need to go into all of that. >> stephanie: you don't.

we get it. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] we talked about this yesterday. it is like kids pulling out vegetables they like. we used to throw the peas under the bench in my kitchen. didn't like the peas. >> then the dog would eat them. >> stephanie: right. that analogy wobbles off into the ether. but so now they're trying to undo the sequester but you know, like a chinese menu, what they like and what they don't like. a republican measure to keep the government operating would ease the pain of automatic spending cuts slamming the defense department. i love this. the measure would fail to provide money to implement obama care or to overhaul financial regulations. so the things they don't like, any kind of financial -- or affordable care. this is no way to govern. >> it is maddening. that's why everyone's poll numbers are dropping, unfortunately. >> stephanie: thank you. except that poll you gave me was a bunch of [ bleep ] because it is an online poll. okay. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] "new york" magazine, jonathan, love him. he writes the g.o.p. budget

divide don't know versus don't care, the republican party's stance on the wars says president obama is to blame for using cuts for retirement programs. lie. okay, now it is sort of a tricky stance to maintain because obama has declared his willingness to cut spending on retirement programs and outlined his position. the interesting split is between those republicans who understand this fact but choose not to acknowledge it and those who don't really care. in the first category, the boner. i talked about this all week when he was on "meet the press." he said david gregory admirably confronted boehner with the existence of the white house proposal that boner won't acknowledge. boner declared there's no plan, senate democrats or the white house to replace the sequester. gregory reminded him obama does have such a proposal. boehner replied that's just nonsense. do you remember that part? >> then david pulled up his ipad whitehouse.gov. there you go. >> i don't see it.

oh, there's the plan. >> go ahead and pass it! >> brian kilmeade is startled by a plan. >> stephanie: that's an incredibly strange response. senate democrats have a plan but it won't pass because senate republicans are filibustered. even if they didn't have a plan, how would this negate the existence of obama's plan. >> a famous plan that doesn't exist. >> boehner segued into an unrelated talking point about how great tax reform would be. i love that point. republicans want tax reform. of course we do. gregory steered him back to the question why not trade tax deductions to cuts for retirement programs. boner said i worked with the president for two years to come to an agreement. unfortunately we haven't been able to do so. obama has a deficit plan but he told him house reppen cas won't -- republicans won't approve it. he said that obama refuses to get serious about spending. >> they're not serious about spending. >> it's despicable. >> gregory noted obama has a

proposal to cut spending. boner repeated his position. >> it is serious! >> stephanie: since my numbers are so crazy, they won't let me negotiate, it is not a strong message, bone ircan't say that. he's going with the method of saying a bunch of words until the interviewer gets tired and moves on. the republicans seem inclined to believe boner's version which is complete crap. thank you jonathan in "new york" magazine. that's where we are. michael in texas. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi mike. >> caller: good morning, lady. how are you? and your fine panel. >> stephanie: lady and the panel. thank you for calling. >> caller: i simply have a -- a bone to pick with you guys. >> stephanie: okay. >> caller: you view campaign as prerogative? because some of the -- president

is doing all of this kind of stuff. i think we should embrace campaign. that's what they've been doing is a campaign of terror. a campaign to undermine rights. on the opposite side with that. >> stephanie: we haven't said campaigning is bad. they accuse the president of campaigning as though no one has tried to sell his ideas and get the public on his side. >> caller: let him campaign. that's the only way he's going to get anything accomplished. campaign for women's rights. campaign for civil rights. we campaign for -- >> stephanie: that's right. it is fine for the president to campaign. as startled as it makes brian kilmeade. >> what? how does that man talk? why do they let him talk so much? who is he? >> stephanie: the president. >> why is they? >> stephanie: thank you for calling lady and the panel. >> what is going on? >> stephanie: i don't know. today's weird. jen in maryland. you're on "the stephanie miller show" real quick. hi jen. >> caller: hi, stephanie and

mooks. good, listen i'm on the steph cast timetable. i'm always a couple of days behind. >> stephanie: how much does that cost you in $4.95 a month. bling. >> caller: i have no fear of commitment when it comes to stephanie. >> stephanie: hello now. >> caller: hot brie was on and she was upset because she couldn't understand why in the world they wouldn't allow for sex education. then a couple of weeks ago, you talked about this lawmaker in texas, i cannot remember the details. this guy wanted to have firearm education in public schools. it occurred to me that these are the same people who like freak out if the kids have a condom on a cucumber and they want hem to handle firearms. >> stephanie: right back on "the stephanie miller show." to the fire. are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night? is this personal or is it political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i am given to doing anyway. staying in

tough with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care about them, right? vo: the war room tonight at 6 eastern

>> come here, quick! >> stephanie miller. >> on tv. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." this hour brought to you by therabreath mouthwash and toothpaste. nothing knocks out bad breath. available at target, walmart walgreens and other fine stores. it is not that sickly sweet toothpaste and the blue like -- >> it doesn't burn. >> stephanie: right. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. by the way so we've been talking about the -- how many times can you say unprecedented republican obstruction but so i believe john mccain and his southern bell lindsey graham -- >> i do declare. >> oh, my stars. >> stephanie: still having the vapors over benghazi.

in order to confirm brennan to the c.i.a. because he has absolutely nothing to do with it just like chuck hagel. [ applause ] i declare! i need some -- andy, i need some answers on benefit -- benghazi. >> he flashes his pearl necklace. >> stephanie: okay. here he is, jay carney, the press secretary. >> john brennan's nomination ought to be considered on is merits, on his qualifications, not on disputes about an issue that did not involve john brennan's nomination to be the c.i.a. director. >> he should have been involved. why wasn't he involved? >> stephanie: okay. let's go to shirley in -- >> why, i never. >> stephanie: why was there such a pause after pearl necklace? that would allow thought bubbles to be filled. shirley in phoenix. you're on the --

>> caller: good morning. good morning everybody. i just basically -- i want to say that every time bill o'reilly is quoted or fox news, why nobody has that clip about jon stewart and bill o'reilly having that debate and it came out that bill o'reilly pretty much admitted yeah, we did it for money. and when i go back, i'm going to go back. please have that clip. i want msnbc to do that. i want everybody to bring him down. this is what they're all about. propaganda. >> stephanie: what did he say? admitted he's paid to be nasty? >> an a-hole. >> stephanie: yikes. okay. i do that for free. nearly. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] jeb bush says it pains him mitt romney isn't residing in the white house. i'm sure it does.

but acknowledged his campaign wasn't the best. i must say. jeby is -- is he moonwalking back from his last immigration? >> if we want to create an immigration policy that's going to work, we can't continue to make illegal immigration an easier path that legal immigration. >> what? >> stephanie: he's flip-flopped all over the place on this. >> worse than a trout on a dock. >> so going forward we wrote this last year, going forward if there is a -- a difference, if you can craft that in law where you can have a path to citizenship where there isn't an incentive for people to come illegally, i'm for it. i don't have a problem with that. i don't see how you do it. i'm not smart enough to figure out every aspect of a really complex law. >> imagine that -- imagine admitting he's not smart. >> stephanie: i'm the smart one. >> thought jeby was the smart one. >> stephanie: he doesn't stand by what he wrote in his book

because he wrote that last year. >> last year is last year, come on! [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: george h.w. did it wrote a book. >> wrote a book. didn't. to do it but did it. >> stephanie: it offers intimate observations about the low points of his son's presidency. that's got to be quite a large volume. >> reames and reames. >> stephanie: discovering the low points would be -- what were the high points? i love this part. he writes my heart went out to him after hurricane katrina. oh, to his son. >> not to the people of new orleans! no. >> stephanie: because he was treated so unfairly. >> heck of a job. >> stephanie: he said the critics don't know what's in number 43's heart. weird they call each other by the number. don't know what's in 43's heart. how deeply he feels about the hurt, the anguish, the losses affecting so many people, most of them poor. >> now, watch it.

>> so poor and so -- >> stephanie: remember barbara bush? it is that compassion that runs through the bush family. >> so many of the people in the arenas here, you know, were underprivileged anyway. this is working very well for them. >> wow. >> stephanie: i'm sure he genetically understands the depths of the anguish there. wow! [ applause ] did not top wolf blitzer, you're right. >> i thought i had that in there. >> stephanie: the people here, look at them, jim. >> so poor. so black. >> stephanie: oh, perhaps i shouldn't have said that. okay. [ applause ] he really did. he said so poor, so poor. >> we'll have to leave it there. >> granted, it was an on-going breaking news situation he might have been there for a little while. might have been crazy in the head. >> stephanie: uh-oh. >> yeah. haven't you been like really, really tired. >> stephanie: one of the funniest bits aisha tyler does

on the sexy liberal tour. almost every day she says that to her husband. she comes in and says -- at lunchtime, i'm so hungry. so black. [ applause ]% okay. >> good job blacky. >> oh, god. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: raj in los angeles. >> let me say that -- newsbusters, that was jim ward. >> stephanie: raj in los angeles. hello. >> caller: hi, stephanie. the republicans for the elections number, a lot of fearmongering was going on for obama. one of them was the stock market will crash. but after three months of the election, stocks are at an all-time high. the economy cannot -- the democratic economy policies are the best. best democratic presidents, stock market as it is.

more than the republicans are president. so you know, there is lots going on now in washington, d.c. republicans are scared that the policies obama was put in will work. why don't they have the guts to let these policies -- if it doesn't work, republicans will -- but if it works they'll lose everything. >> stephanie: that's what we keep saying. the deficit has fallen under obama. the level of government spending at the lowest since the eisenhower years. >> stock market is near record high. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: okay. jim, who said i think conservatives in general got in a habit of talking to themselves. i think that they in a sense got isolated into their own world. so did our pollsters many of whom were wrong about turnout. degree we believe the other side was kidding themselves, it turned out to be the real world, part of what makes politics so fascinating. in the real world, we were

kidding ourselves. who said that? >> senator joe mccarthy. >> stephanie: newt gingrich. newt gingrich. [ applause ] stotterred into reality for a minute. >> maybe he was breathing air in coach for a minute. >> stephanie: same coach chair i did. >> robert in north carolina. hi robert. >> caller: hey. thank you for your show. you do a great job. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i've always wondered why you all don't show dick cheney on the sunday morning talk show saying deficit don't matter ronald reagan proved that. >> stephanie: that would be a helpful clip, you're right. >> caller: please do it every day and expand on it. >> stephanie: yes please. get that. do it every day. do it. >> there, i said it. well, there i go again. >> stephanie: deb in california. welcome. >> caller: hey there, you guys. >> stephanie: welcome to lady

and the panel. >> caller: i wanted to speak on behalf of the thousands and millions or whatever it is of us that just love you. >> stephanie: aww, thank you. >> caller: and t-bone's really great. this is my second attempt at getting a vocabulary. i'm calling for a couple different reasons. mainly we need to remember even though our eyes glaze over when we look at the front line pieces or we look at things, you know, that don't have ads and it is all factual anyway, i looked at one of these things the other day from just last week from -- it was a front line piece. and eric cantor is the reason that -- whoever gave eric cantor the idea to not raise the debt ceiling, he's the culprit in the congress that started all of this mess, what a year and a half ago whatever. and he's the one who said hey this is what we do to screw everything over that the democrats are trying to do. and it was mainly mr. obama.

the other thing i wanted to mention is that if the mr. bushes are referring to themselves by number, to be more accurate, they should really call themselves number one and number two. >> stephanie: see what you did there? you made a little joke. yea! [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> don't serve that at ikea. >> stephanie: richard that's close to something that you just contributed there. >> did you get that, news busters? >> stephanie: richard in north carolina, you're on "the stephanie miller show." welcome, richard. >> caller: hi, steph. i really enjoy your show. i watch it every morning. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i just got a point i need to get out. i'm a self-exile south carolinian. they have a bill on the floor right now or they're proposing a bill to allow anybody in the state of south carolina to carry a gun. concealed or not. licensed or not. registered or not.

this thing is getting a lot of backing. a big tourist state. i told everybody i know we're either going to become the deadliest state in the nation or the most polite. >> stephanie: richard, it seems to defy -- this is such an emotional issue that seems to defy logic. you can won't at statistics -- you can look at statistics anywhere around the world. the more guns, the more gun deaths. it is not hard to wrap your mind around this kind of logic. more guns is always the answer to the gun lobby and it is -- >> now they're putting guns in the hands of 4-year-olds. indoctrinating them early. >> stephanie: only thing that would make that better? alcohol. [ ding ding ] [ applause ] guns in the hands of drunken toddler. >> the kids can shoot each other. >> stephanie: there you go. okay. by the way gun comments, oscar

pistorius case, some gun issues in that, too. and some controversy. 45 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: making more people spit coffee on themselves than any other radio show in america. it's "the stephanie miller show." anything. what the hell were they thinking? they think this world isn't big enough for the both of them. but we assure you - it is.

bites. little greatness. irene, drop the itch. we dropped the itch, you can too. maximum strength scalpicin® is not a shampoo so you can stop intense itch fast, wherever you are. i dropped the itch. drop the itch with scalpicin®. lobsterfest is the king of all promotions. there's nothing like our grilled lobster and lobster tacos. the bar harbor bake is really worth trying. [ male announcer ] get more during red lobster's lobsterfest. with the year's largest selection of mouth-watering lobster entrees. like our delicious lobster lover's dream, featuring two kinds of lobster tails. or our savory, new grilled maine lobster and lobster tacos. my favorite entree is the lobster lover's dream. what's yours? come celebrate lobsterfest and sea food differently. [ male announcer ] visit redlobster.com now for an exclusive $10 coupon on two lobsterfest entrees.

he was a comedy genious. addicted to the spotlight and living too close to the edge. of all the hours in all his

days, these are the ones you'll never forget. >> stephanie miller. ♪

>> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 50 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. sexy liberal hal sparks on his way in for hump days with hal sparks next hour. let's go to martha in albuquerque. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi martha. >> caller: hi, how are you? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. i'm thinking that the benghazi thing was actually a republican october surprise. benghazi is a big oil depot and somebody like david koch is a big oil man. i think they just wanted to do it to put mr. obama in a losing position. >> didn't work. >> stephanie: all right. how is that working out for them? all right. chris writes steph, i don't know what brian kilmeade sees inside his head but i'll bet you can distract him with bright colors

andcism shapes. a baby's playful mobile will keep him busy for hours. >> ooh! it's a bunny. [ ♪ hypnotic ♪ ] >> stephanie: okay. just to calm him. >> i can't imagine what happens to him when they sit down at a restaurant where you can color with crayons on the paper -- on the table. you know. >> right. ooh! >> stephanie: by the way -- >> coloring outside the lines. >> stephanie: the genesis of this whole bit is brian kilmeade seemed startled by president's campaigning and fund-raising. >> the president's real goal, this isn't a rumor. he's getting money together, picks up the phone and calls nancy pelosi. my goal was to make you speaker again so the next two years, he's going to be spending campaigning, raising money to the tune of $50 million. >> huh? money? campaign?

and policies? >> oh, god! >> stephanie: you know what? some people have an overstartled response. that's okay. >> bless his heart. >> stephanie: just saying. sun up and sundown particularly. >> where did the bright thing go? >> stephanie: from mrs. kilmeade. remember, honey, that happened yesterday. >> every day. >> stephanie: yes, yes. yes. >> sometimes there are clouds though. >> stephanie: huh? >> clouds? >> stephanie: start screaming ball of fire back. >> okay, honey right. yes! warning again. remember? >> morning. look honey, over here. lucky charms. come here! [ ♪ hypnotic ♪ ] >> they're magically delicious. >> stephanie: yes, they are sweetie. all right. all right. >> sit him in the corner with the cootie game. put together mr. potato head. keep him busy for hours. >> stephanie: he's fascinated with the changing of the seasons. he probably -- yeah.

okay. so we were talking about -- [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] what? okay. were you finding the ocean again? jim, i'm sorry. >> the water's going away. it came back. oh, it's going away. it came back. >> right. remember we discussed that? last time we were at the beach. okay. all right. i'm sorry. bathroom break for you. >> where did the water go? >> stephanie: yep. >> it is coming back. >> stephanie: there it is again. >> poor little fella. >> stephanie: okay, kids, run and get mommy one of the orange pills, one of the green ones. >> get mommy's thorazine. >> we were talking about gun issue came up again. i was talking about interesting gun comments split the family of oscar pistorius. did you hear? a public feud erupted within the family of oscar pistorius the double amputee olympian charged with murdering his girlfriend. his father was talking about

needing guns because the government doesn't protect white africans or something -- i think he shot his girlfriend. i'm just saying. i think he did it on purpose but okay. >> i don't know. not enough. >> stephanie: really? his dad was -- in the pistorius family issued a statement saying they're deeply concerned about the father's interview that doesn't represent the views of oscar or the pistorius family. he's trying to bolster the story line he was afraid for his life because there's crime in south africa. the whole thing doesn't add up to me but okay. all right. we were talking yesterday about ashley judd. they're really scared of ashley judd. >> they are. >> which is awesome. because daily caller, people are calling it slut shaming. she's been neighbored in movies. >> they seem to have forgotten that scott brown showed his -- >> so has arnold schwarzenegger. >> stephanie: let me say the

roids -- little shrinky dinks. >> i thought you meant hemorrhoids. >> stephanie: no! [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] [ laughter ] >> stephanie: ross saying i think it is settled. the daily caller is run by a bunch of people who discovered yesterday that sex exists. they can't get over how disgusted they are by the entire thing. article shaming ashley judd running against mitch mcconnell in kentucky. she's been in films with nudity. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] daily caller -- clearly "the daily caller" staff does struggle to understand the mechanics of clothing. it is normal to assume because you haven't even the rest of the senate naked, it is safe to assume they're without genitals. long story short the amount of panic displayed the mere thought of ashley judd's run is

evidence they are concerned she has a chance. no genitals of any kind. some i just pictured and that was horrifying! [ screaming ] >> what does a turtle's genitals look like? >> stephanie: i don't know. they're always in the shell. >> always in the shell. no one knows. >> i've never seen it. >> i can't believe we're talking about mitch mcconnell's -- >> stephanie: do you have the thing about the thing? you do have the thing? look at this. playboy is launching hebrew language edition. >> so now playboy has been release in the hebrew. now i get to read all of the articles from right to left for a change. of course, this also means the center fold wills open from right to left which also means i'll have to use my left hand to pleasure my sha mechel. this is a bit of a learning curve. [ applause ]

>> we haven't checked in with him in a long time. >> stephanie: who his lovely wife? >> sadie flagelman. okay. let's hope the sinkhole has not gotten them. right? >> another sinkhole already. where are my water wings? >> stephanie: okay. all right. by the way, sexy liberal hal sparks on his way in. hump days with hal sparks and tickets i'm told going quickly for april 13th. it is like in a month. april 13th, chicago theatre sexy liberal with hal sparks, john fuglesang and i. get it. hal sparks live in just a second here on "the stephanie miller show."

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: yes brian kilmeade is an iron bird. it is an iron bird. >> iron bird. >> stephanie: it is a plane. hi, jacki schechner. >> good morning. >> stephanie: the third member of our truffle, hot brie in the city is watching us right now on directv in her new apartment here in los angeles. [ ding ding ] [ applause ] >> she was having trouble with cell phone reception. we spoke. it was one of those -- let me go outside. is this good? can you hear me now? i'm on the porch. >> stephanie: guess what i got her as a housewarming present? unpacking service. remember i tried to get that for you and you wouldn't do it. you wouldn't take it because you're too anal. grandma doesn't like people touching her things. >> i like the idea of organizing

everything in my own way. she doesn't have that way. >> i would probably turn down that gift as well. >> explain organizing. >> stephanie: you don't want people touching your persnickety like jacki? >> someone touched the lincoln logs. >> stephanie: hot brie is good with it. here's the persnicketiy jacki schechner. >> the senate could confirm john brennan to be our new c.i.a. director as early as tomorrow. brennan won the senate intelligence committee's approval yesterday by a vote of 12-3. after the white house agreed to give the committee access to some top-secret documents explaining the government's use of drone strikes. senators mccain and graham are still saying they'll oppose brennan's confirmation on the floor unless they get more information on benghazi. the white house already has turned over the bulk of that information and brennan is expected to make it through. the friendly poll but the league of conservation voters which is backing representative ed marquee for senate has found the massachusetts congressman has a

double digit lead over fellow representative stephen lynch in the upcoming primary. the poll shows marquee up 42-28 but at least half of the voters surveyed said they didn't know anything about either candidate so there is still plenty of room for movement. the primary is april 30th and whoever wins that is expected to win the general election to replace john kerry. assuming they don't get snowed out, cnn now has the name of the 11 senators invited to dine with the president at the white house tonight. it does include senators mccain and graham. some of the president's harshest critics. those two of course as we mentioned earlier, still pushing on benghazi. as the body of venezuelan president hugo chavez is being carried through the streets of caracas to lie in state at the academy, the nation is figuring out what is next. especially in the next few weeks between now and the election to choose his successor. we're back after the break. stay with us. (vo) next, current tv is the place for

compelling true stories. >> jack, how old are you? >> nine. >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines, way inside. (vo) from the underworld, to the world of privilege. >> everyone in michael jackson's life was out to use him. (vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current. break the ice with breath-freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers.

♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ >> stephanie: sexy liberal on the way in. the 101 is terrible in l.a. >> this is news? >> stephanie: he will be here shortly. he's going to talk flagelman -- what about jacki schechner? >> when is jacki schechner going to be in the hebrew playboy in the center fold? >> stephanie: we'll ask jacki about that. >> i'm sure she'll get right on

that. i'm thinking no. >> stephanie: 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. this hour brought to you by go to go to my pc. access your entire work computer from your smart phone or tablet. try go to my pc free for 45 days for my special over, visit go gotomypc.com. enter the promo code, stephanie. won't you? >> i already did. >> thank you. >> no, after you. >> stephanie: please, go ahead. all right. >> after you. >> oh, no, you first. >> thank you. >> stephanie: i would go ahead and get tickets to april 13th, sexy liberal chicago! very exciting. hal sparks on his way in. tickets going very fast. coming up in a month. very exciting. all right. we were talking about -- we've been talking about taylor swift. did you see the -- so tina fey and amy poehler made mild jokes about her dating history. >> which has been a little chaotic. >> rocky. >> stephanie: so she -- what did she say? she basically said they're going

to burn in hell. there is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. >> whatever! >> she's speed dating. >> stephanie: right. and buying houses next to guys she's dating. not that she's clingy or insane she wants you to know! [ cuckoo clock chimes ] >> but she's kind of clingy and insane. >> hi, what are you do? >> stephanie: like the neighbor on tim allen. >> listening for material for her next song. >> why would anybody in their right mind date her now? >> stephanie: amy poehler and tina fey have responded to taylor swift's quotes in "vanity fair" in which she -- that's what -- she talked about there being a special place in hell for them. tina fey said if anyone would get mad i thought it would be james cameron. it must have been torture for kathryn bigelow to be married to him. that was funny. she said as for swift's response, i did not see that one coming. it was a joke. it was meant to be lighthearted.

amy poehler said aw, i feel bad if she's upset. i'm a feminist and she's a young, talented girl. i do agree for going to hell but mainly for boring tax stuff. [ laughter ] >> that was funny. >> stephanie: geena davis weighed in on seth macfarlane. there is a big boob dispute. ♪ we saw your boobs ♪ >> it was a catchy song. >> stephanie: i'm old and yet immature so i thought it was funny. >> especially the kate winslet part. >> exactly. >> stephanie: right. academy award winner geena davis waded into the on-going controversy saying she thought the routine was disrespectful to women, particularly the performers being honored. >> i think she would feel better if she showed her boobs. [ buzzer ] >> is that not helping? [ laughter ] >> stephanie: i'm an old lady with a panel that i hang around with that are guys. ♪ we saw your boobs ♪

♪ on current tv ♪ >> stephanie: no. they're concave. >> not us. the boobs. >> stephanie: a panel of boobs. okay. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] i see. you see my boobs every day. got it. >> thank god! >> stephanie: barbara walters to maria shriver to replace me. no way! the 83-year-old "view" cohost who has had some mishaps a concussion and the chickenpox. itchy, itchy scratch scratch. i'm so itchy. she is livid that her abc bosses are already eyeing her replacement. >> she's livid. >> stephanie: maria shriver. i will give her chickenpox. >> did you see how she got it? >> from franklin. at first she wouldn't say who. >> she kissed frank and he had

the chickenpox. >> stephanie: actually, he had something like shingles. >> it is a version -- >> it is a lot more painful. >> stephanie: back on the view, after a lot of scratching -- scratch scratch scratch, scratch. >> it would have to be frank lan jell-o. >> that wouldn't work on shingles. >> stephanie: it works on my dog's itch. >> it gets rid of fleas. >> stephanie: do you think she's scootching her butt on the floor a lot? >> it would be different how? >> stephanie: anyways, she said -- first of all she wouldn't say who it was. a well-known actor who was nameless who then became frank. i gave him a new year's hug and kiss on the cheek. what i didn't know is he was about to develop a bad case of shingles. >> which is the same virus. >> stephanie: itchy itchy

itchy. harrison ford has signed on for anchorman 2. he will play a legendary newscaster. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> he's really excitable. sorry you had to see me like this. >> it is about time he poke fun at himself. he's taken himself too seriously for too long. >> stephanie: like a tom brokaw. >> for nbc nightly news. >> stephanie: that would be funny. jim's tom brokaw impression. >> stephanie: a shout out to carly rae jepsen. as the kids call her. she's the singer, "call me maybe." she won't be calling the boy scouts back. she canceled a performance over the scouts banning gay individuals. >> you know who also pulled out? train. seriously. they pulled out of the jamboree. >> stephanie: something weird about that. train going into a tunnel. train pulling out.

okay. ♪ ♪ hey i just met you ♪ ♪ this is crazy ♪ ♪ but here's my number ♪ ♪ so call me maybe ♪ >> all right. >> here comes -- >> stephanie: speak of -- [ screaming ] >> stephy. >> stephanie: what is that heavy breathing i hear? could it be? ♪ the humpty dance ♪ >> stephanie: hump days with hal sparks. >> yes, yes! >> good morning. sorry, i just came from a taylor swift recording session. we were up all night breaking up because i had a deadline at 2:00. >> it's hard to do. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: don't you feel like if you had a guy friend, ron, you're a song. >> be immortalized. certain point, if you're going to be immortalized in song, very rarely will it be in a good way.

the best you could hope for is you're so vain. >> stephanie: except for adele, she wishes the best for you. >> as you burn in hell. the subtext there. basically, you have the -- you ought to know to -- i hope you're doing well songs. i'm going 80% 92% all negative ex songs. unless you're dead which is the other part of it. there's like six songs decent songs i think about they were dead. they would be awesome to hang with still. >> you're right. alanis morissette is you're like wow. even the way she said -- you scream my name and [ bleep ] wow, that was like a really -- f bomb. >> i would like to know what theatre that is.

>> where can you get that? >> paul rubin -- >> stephanie: hey, now. hello, hal. >> on that note, good morning! that's the way i like to start my day. emotional devastation put into song and comedy. >> stephanie: speaking of -- let's bring it magically full circle because i needed you in the first hour. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] there is a poll but it is online. i think it is not as reliable saying the president's approval rating and democrats are being brought down with republicans. >> republicans are dropping as well according to the poll. >> yeah. it is an online poll. you can't -- there right now is no mechanic per se that can -- >> i'm really surprised that reuters even reported this as news. >> that i'm not surprised about. what is literally -- >> irresponsible to report an online poll. >> that i agree with. >> i agree with you completely.

my lack of surprise has nothing to do with your logic. with the journalism in our country. >> stephanie: we were reading a piece. echoing the thing about obama should have this, that, should have known the kind of republicans he was dealing with. he quoted him from back before this happened that oh, they're not going to let this happen. i believe that republicans are not going to let this -- >> yeah, well. >> stephanie: i think it is hard to underestimate -- overestimate the awfulness of this particular group of republicans. >> i would go so far as to say i don't think he is -- i don't think it is lost on him. i think he's very aware at the awfulness he's dealing with. i think the reality though is that's who he is dealing with. whether he would like it or not, whether he made a good deal or a bad deal, they're going to vote against it. to some degree, at this point, the difference in tactic is -- i used to make a reasonable deal with people who are evil. now i realize they're evil so i'm going to end up making a good deal and things that i know will make me look great because i met them more than halfway but they're going to vote against it

because i am who i am and it will end up helping and regardless of that particular online poll, polls are showing exactly that. the country is seeing -- the president as being someone really reasonable, trying to govern like an adult which is something there is a hunger for. republicans looking like they all call brian kilmeade in the middle of the night. >> huh? >> stephanie: honey it is that jangly thing again! what's this noise? [phone ringing] >> bill o'reilly to yell at him. >> stephanie: you know what brian kilmeade -- just occurred to me, chester my old st. bernard. jim would come over for years. [jim barking] >> squirrel! >> stephanie: for years it took the exact amount of time for chester to stop bark because he wouldn't recognize jim. >> i disagree. i think he did recognize jim. after awhile, they just -- he

gave up on the fact you were going to keep inviting him over. >> stephanie: perpetually -- >> i've told you many times. this man is evil! look at what he surfs for on the internet. get him! >> stephanie: i don't know why -- >> he searches "playboy" in hebrew. it was like a skit. chester, no, chester no. jim, jim jim no, no, no. [jim barking] >> trying to talk. >> stephanie: right back, more hump days with sexy liberal hal sparks. >> announcer: there's a tea party in her pants and you're invited. call now. 1-800-steph-12. [clucking]. everyone wants to be the cadbury bunny. cause only he brings delicious cadbury crème eggs, while others may keep trying. maximum strength scalpicin® is not a shampoo so you can stop intense itch fast, wherever you are.

i dropped the itch. drop the itch with scalpicin®. [clucking]. everyone wants to be the cadbury bunny. cause only he brings delicious cadbury crème eggs, while others may keep trying. nobunny knows easter better than cadbury!

he was a comedy genious. addicted to the spotlight and living too close to the edge. of all the hours in all his days, these are the ones you'll never forget.

♪ gonna make me lose my mind ♪ ♪ up in here ♪ ♪ up in here, up in here ♪ ♪ up in here, up in here ♪ make me lose my cool, up in here, up in here ♪ >> stephanie: here. it is "the stephanie miller show." 23 minutes after the hour up in here. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. hot brie in the city is watching us. she said we look good in hd. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: hal looks good in every light. >> current doesn't have -- >> hal definition. they don't have hd on current so we have hal definition. brings an extra cut to -- thank you. the camera finally drifted over to me. it took that long! [ laughter ]

how long do i have to hold that pose? >> stephanie: will the camera -- >> seriously i'm getting one of those pinchy tendons that stallone has permanently. >> stephanie: what's the thing? blue thunder? the male modeling movie? >> blue steel. >> it is arguably the first anti-drone movie even though it is a helicopter that's piloted by a human being. military weapons on -- with the public. remember when there was outrage about that enough to make a movie. >> stephanie: what was the male modeling movie i was thinking about? >> zoo lander. >> stephanie: "zoolander"! >> walking on eggshells, don't hop. >> all right. >> we're reminiscing about old rob schneider movies. >> stephanie: terrence howard, he said making love to oprah winfrey is a life changing experience so says terrence howard who said the best part of doing a sex scene with movie was

her tig old bitties. they had a scene in the butler slated for release later this year. she has -- >> you wonder why he didn't make it into "ironman 2". interviewer referred to jeff bridges as tig old bitties. >> stephanie: jeanie in ohio. not since james frey. has there been such an awkward encounter with awkward. jeanie from ohio, you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: hi, how are you guys doing? i was just -- i wanted to comment on the hypocrites that the republicans are. that they're going after ashley judd because of her posing nude in a movie. >> we saw her boobs. >> the fact that scott brown you know, did a nude -- >> he showed his bits. >> caller: i mean -- these people are unbelievable. >> stephanie: that is a double

standard. >> spectacular double standard. i'm glad it exists that we -- basically honor with discretion the female body more so than the male body. i think that's smart. otherwise, nothing would ever get done. >> stephanie: where do you fall on the we saw your boobs controversy. gina davis was offended. jane fonda was offended. >> think about the party we're dealing with. this is the party of john ash crofter who covered up a statute statute -- >> stephanie: i was talking about the oscars. >> in this situation they're so easily offended by the naked breast which by the way studies have shown off the charts that families that have -- homes that have art that has some mild nudity in it or whatever, old classic art, that kind of stuff there is less sexual dysfunction that families that grow up in a comfort around

normal nudity. >> stephanie: my mother did naked headstands. >> and you're messed up. >> stephanie: right. >> art on the walls simple stuff. >> stephanie: can i watch daddy shave? they were nude a little bit. >> his feet. the point is that you have -- very low levels of sexual dysfunction. in families that are wound up and no nudity, everything is so harsh, you have tremendous amounts of sexual dysfunction. that entire party is the most sex negative party that i think has ever existed. post-1200s. >> look at the phenomenon of preacher's kids. >> that's what i mean. >> stephanie: it has only made me aspire to that level of nakedness. i've just not achieved that. >> growing up, there was a girl who was like from one of the baptist families who couldn't dance, who had to wear a dress below her knees to school and stuff. that was the one you were going to get to sleep with if you wanted to give it a run. you know what i mean. the rest of them, you would have to talk to them.

>> stephanie: you grew up in the footloose barn, didn't you? ♪ let's hear it for the boy ♪ >> little hal out driving around looking for preacher's daughter. >> you were chris penn. >> totally. i beg your pardon! chris penn! did you hear that? i'll have you know, i was the break dancing kid at the end who got one little moment in the sun before the glitter was thrown! ♪ >> stephanie: hal is getting glitter bombed in kentucky. ♪ been workin' so hard ♪ ♪ i punch in my card ♪ >> stephanie: teenage hal doing some break dancing at the end. >> that's me. i even learned that chin push move. >> stephanie: awesome. [ laughter ] >> that you can only appreciate on current tv. >> stephanie: sue in rockville, maryland. hello, sue. >> caller: good morning. one is i used to work with a

photographer doing proms many moons ago. it was the catholic schools where there was the most crazy sex, drinking and acting out. >> i do college tours. i'll do stand-up at colleges and i did one show, it was kind of weird because at the last minute they went we're kind of a religious -- a religious school. we're kind of a religious school. we would appreciate it if you not, you know -- you can swear a little but keep it pg-13 and no f bombs. anybody who knows my special that's a big request. you have to do that a month in advance. did i my best. i walked up on stage. they were the drunkest, loudiest flashingest crowd. >> more hump days with hal on "the stephanie miller show." one thing viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. i think the audience gets that i actually mean it. michael shure: this show is about being up to date so a lot of my work happens by doing the

things that i am given to doing anyway. joy behar: you can say anything here. jerry springer: i spent a couple of hours with a hooker joy behar: your mistake was writing a check jerry springer: she never cashed it (vo) the day's events. four very unique points of view. tonight starting at 6 eastern.

>> oh, look. >> stephanie miller. >> hello mr. beaver. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: hello. it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 34 minutes after the hour. hump days with sexy liberal. >> that's mr. beaver to you. >> stephanie: hal sparks. thank you. let's go to phil in boston. you're on with hal. >> caller: hello mama. hello, panel. >> stephanie: lady and the panel. >> just call me siding actually. >> caller: two things. one serious, one just for fun. number one you know, when we got the rates on the top 1%

raised from 35% to 39% it really is window dressing without closing the loopholes. they weren't paying the 35% to begin with. number two my girlfriend just reminded me that the panel is part of a lady's underwear. and that if you're going to have a panel, make sure it is 100% cotton. >> stephanie: thank you. no chafing. >> we're an organic panel. >> we are. i can't speak for jim. this is an organic panel for the most part. >> stephanie: we've been talking about -- we saw your boobs thing ashley judd, sex ed. you know who wants to call in? ♪ hot brie on with stephy ♪ ♪ hot brie on with stephy ♪ ♪ hot brie on with stephy ♪ >> stephanie: here she is. melissa fitzgerald. >> caller: i have terrible cell phone reception.

>> stephanie: i know. you moved to my neighborhood. i told you have the wrong cell phone service. >> go atop the hollywood sign. >> stephanie: we were talking about sex ed. you just texted me a thought. >> caller: i did just text you a thought. i think the g.o.p. needs to wake up. sex education works to create abstinence. because i had extensive sex education in my school. in fact, it was very controversial at the time. and i never have sex. so it worked for me. >> stephanie: that's harsh. when you just said the word sex jim went hmm. >> when do you have it, it is of a high quality high caliber. >> stephanie: hot brie exploding everywhere. what? >> sounds like a french restaurant on fire. >> stephanie: her stripper name. so now hot brie, we were talking about -- first of all who is

it? gina davis -- gina davis. i qualify as a cracker so hot brie cracker. >> stephanie: hello. [ explosion ] >> we could break the streak is what i'm saying. >> stephanie: she meant at school she didn't have sex. she's had sex since then, i assume. >> no, no. >> she means now. i was listening. >> unlike you, i listen to women. >> stephanie: that was -- he was snapping on me. hot brie, we were talking about gina davis chimed in on she was also offended by the "i saw your boobs" thing. what was your take on it? >> at the time, i think i had a couple of glasses of wine -- >> stephanie: you were drunk at my house with me watching the oscars so we don't remember it. >> i think i had mixed feelings about it. i did think it was kind of funny but what made me sadder was i think it is a common in our

business. as women it is part of your -- the expectations. you're going to have a career, it seems like you have to do that. >> stephanie: right. well yeah, there is a double standard there. but you're somebody that you might run for -- obviously a lot of people in pennsylvania urging you to run for congress or whatever. you've gotta have a take on this ashley judd thing because they're really going after her and she hasn't declared yet. >> i think that's terrible. a same-sex couple years ago when we were just talking about the possibility of my running somewhere, you know, a picture of me from some movie premier and said the thought of her running is titillating. >> stephanie: oh, my. something jim would say. >> they would never put that up about a man. i think she's fantastic. she's done so many things on human rights and she's helped so many people and spoken out on issues. she's intelligent. she's capable. i think she would be great. i think she should go for it and call all of this stuff out! sister you better give jim the

bad news now, there are no naked photos of melissa fitzgerald. she's not been topples not even at my house drunk at the oscar party. trust me, i asked. >> the parliament had an actual porn star. >> stephanie: right exactly. we were saying the biggest thing that will hurt you. hot brie. let me say, news newsbusters, it is a joke. melissa fitzgerald has never been a stripper. me -- she made a hot brie dish. >> you're operating under the false assumption that once they're corrected newsbusters, once they're corrected, will fix it. >> stephanie: they're writing it down. melissa fitzgerald, not a stripper. let me write it down so we'll be accurate when she does run. >> i'm glad you're making fun of me for hot brie, they're probably looking at other stuff. >> stephanie: we'll be in charge of distracting them from your real dirt.

[ ♪ hypnotic ♪ ] oh hot brie, i'll stop by for your unpacking party later. love you. >> love you guys. >> bye! >> stephanie: i got her unpacking services as a housewarming gift. she just moved near me. >> so -- >> stephanie: jim offered to go unpack her unmentionables, just that box. >> don't spend a lot of time on that. >> stephanie: stop sniffing them. where do i put these? >> stephanie: not on your head jim. >> she has a lot of sexy underwear but i just don't care. i'm -- it is just in the way. it might as well be a suit of armor. you're so lovely under there. get it out of way. lace don't get me started. i can't breathe when i touch that nonsense. >> stephanie: things brian kilmeade is startled by. >> squirrel! >> stephanie: things that surprise brian kilmeade. dryer lint. pop-up toasters.

>> i did it again! >> math. did you hear that one? lovely kids at fox and friends got schooled by a bunch of kids on basic math. >> stephanie: how the refrigerator knows when to turn the light on when you open the door. >> ooh, look, it did it again! how did it know? >> hot water bottles. [ buzzer ] >> some other things. >> don't say it. >> stephanie: no. let's go to mike in atlanta. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi mike. >> good morning. i called mccain's office this morning. i spoke with a young guy named daniel. i said mccain is upset about the benghazi thing. he said yes he is. i said what was his outrage when there were 53 americans dying in foreign embassies under bush? his answer was hmm. >> i'll have to get back to you on that. >> stephanie: i'll have to gather that information and get it back to you.

>> i'll try to find you some and i'll bring them to you. >> to reagan's credit, did he invade grenada. there were two cubans there with pick axes. >> stephanie: tom in santa monica. you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: good morning, everyone. i just had a quick comment about the ashley judd versus all of the republican senators that are selling out almost as prostitution to the wealthy. and it just seems extremely hypocritical. >> stephanie: absolutely. >> wheel of right wing hypocrites. >> so rare. >> the reality is that -- you know, i'm from kentucky. this is -- >> stephanie: right. >> this is a state that masks as conservative and runs o completely -- runs on a completely -- '60s level liberal. i talked about this on larry king show. i've talked about it in the history of marijuana in the country. it was on the history channel.

kentucky would collapse without the cash crop of marijuana. the unfortunate reality -- >> stephanie: collapse like in an actual sinkhole? >> not florida style but the economy would take such a huge dive. >> like a model for the whole country. >> kind of exactly. if you fly over kentucky big parts of it, if you look at the fields from the air, all of the cornfields, bright green and then this dark green center. hmm. why does it look like a doughnut? >> stephanie: not right. >> why is it square? it's darker, the way the sun is hitting it? >> stephanie: mary in west virginia, you're on with hal. hi mary. >> caller: hi, stephanie. i'm so glad to talk to you. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i want to weigh in on this mitch mcconnell and the republicans and about ashley judd. >> stephanie: yep. >> caller: well, number one they're always bitching about wanting to see transparency.

well, you can't get much more transparent than that, can you? and the second thing is mitch mcconnell shows his ass every day so what's wrong with her showing her [ bleep ] >> stephanie: okay. wowee. salty. >> certainly to some degree, she's right. one of the problems we have as liberals and progressives is that when somebody says something like that, there's no -- the follow-up is offense as opposed to all right nut bag, explain to me what's dirty about the human body? explain to me why -- and in the context of how she did it, what's dirty about it. was it the fact that it was consensual sex shown on screen? because you don't have a problem with somebody having their brains blown all over a bathroom wall with a gun. >> stephanie: the one criticism some of the women that seth macfarlane mentioned they were in rape scenes. they showed their boobs. that part i understand.

>> the jodie foster one. >> i totally agree. i don't know if he followed up with it too soon on that one because it was '87? >> stephanie: we apologize "the stephanie miller show" apologizes for yesterday's joke that eleanor roosevelt is a -- >> showy whore. someone pointed out too soon. not our joke. rude pundit said it. too soon. >> as is to be expected from rude pundit. i think when it comes to certain -- especially the social arguments, we tend to back down when we're talk to the mitch mcconnells of the world or the fox and friends stand up and say -- this is for the children. explain to me what's horrible about this versus what you're cool with. >> stephanie: yeah. >> then my favorite part is we don't want the government to tell me what to do with my life. i'm free to live, nanny states or democrats always want a nanny state, first time gun violence. you know what we need to fix? movies and video games.

that's the first thing a nanny does is take away your video game. time-out republicans. is that what you're doing? you don't want to solve the actual problem. >> yet they're putting guns in the hands of 4-year-olds. >> stephanie: actual ones, not toy guns. >> why is somebody who is running for office who played -- they would have no problem with an actor who played a serial killer running for office if he killed people, shot them in the head and stuff. they would never bring that up as the reason not to vote for them. if a woman in a consensual sex scene or portraying a rape victim to show the aftermath of what happens when someone tries to report a rape, all of the story lines, that somehow is offensive. >> ooh, we saw her boobs. >> stephanie: 46 minutes after the hour. back with the remaining moments. hump days with hal sparks on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: she's your human happy pill. ♪ happy, happy, joy joy joy ♪ >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show."

(vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current. they think this world isn't big enough for the both of them. but we assure you - it is. bites. little greatness.

don't let it get to you. ♪ ♪ try mach3 sensitive, with three high-definition blades. a closer shave in a single stroke for less irritation, even on sensitive skin. ♪ ♪ get closer to the one you love. ♪ ♪ gillette mach3 sensitive. gillette. the best a man can get.

he was a comedy genious. addicted to the spotlight and living too close to the edge. of all the hours in all his days, these are the ones you'll never forget.

♪ boom, boom, acka lacka boom boom ♪ ♪ boom, boom, acka lacka boom boom ♪ ♪ acka lacka boom boom ♪ ♪ open the door, get on the floor everyone do the dinosaur ♪ ♪ open the door, get on the floor, do the dinosaur ♪ ♪ boom, boom ♪ >> stephanie: i see what you're doing because of hal's t-rex bit. 51 minutes after the hour. >> that's a reach. >> stephanie: because you believe in science. >> that's true. >> she's your human -- >> stephanie: pardon me? ♪ weird science ♪ >> why miss sukomot you're beautiful.

i love the insertion of stephanie miller into some of the songs. >> stephanie: this is huge, huge huge. baby with h.i.v. is deemed cured which we have not had a chance to talk about. >> 2 1/2 years old, first person functionally cured after the man in germany who had a giant oil change. >> stephanie: medically speaking. right. doctors announced on friday baby had had been cured of an h.i.v. development. it could change how infected newborns are treat and reduce the number of children living with the virus that causes a.i.d.s. we've talked about this before, hal. my high school boyfriend died of a.i.d.s. a lot of us grew up in the period where precocktail, preall of that, you brought up reagan earlier. just saying some people -- >> there he went again. >> may have ignored that whole -- >> they didn't ignore it. >> stephanie: if it made any

rich white's [ bleep ] fell off. >> it was cured by wednesday at noon. >> stephanie: oops there it goes. >> mildly contagious. >> stephanie: there goes my. okay cured. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> you have to give props to koop. he fought to urge people to put condoms on at least during the reagan administration. he fought reagan on that. in order to -- >> and clinton's -- you know, what is it? the surgeon general the clinton surgeon general who lost her job for mentioning masturbation. >> stephanie: jocelyn elders. we should teach children how to masturbate. >> she lost her job over that. >> stephanie: they freaked out over that. >> teach them about it. >> stephanie: not how. >> teach them. >> by the way, you should be allowed to develop your own technique. >> stephanie: that's a freestyle sport. there's no rules.

>> what do you know about that? >> stephanie: i've gotten a lot better at that. that's a revelation here on "the stephanie miller show." >> you don't think about yourself. >> stephanie: i'm not attracted to myself. >> so she couldn't. >> stephanie: i didn't think about myself. okay. >> you said you didn't find yourself attractive. >> so you weren't thinking about yourself. >> you're doing it wrong. >> stephanie: i'm saying -- it is different for chicks. >> it is hard to look up things on the internet and not come across video of her having sex. there is no nonsteph porn in her computer. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: i was saying it is different for chicks because you can't -- it is hard to -- you've been with and then you start crying because you're like -- >> think of a hot chick in a movie or something. >> stephanie: chicks don't

work that way. >> yeah, they do. >> stephanie: not really. >> you don't. >> that sounds like your hangup. >> stephanie: this has gotten ridiculous. >> i had a friend who was gay. when he came out he said i don't know if i want to be gay. i went dude, i'm actually not that sure you're gay because everybody you date looks exact lie like you. i think you're just self-involved and want to sleep with yourself. he just found a way to externalize it. because gay to me says you love that other person. i don't think that's what's going on. [ laughter ] >> looked like brian jones. had the same haircut. >> just different plumbing. >> right. >> stephanie: okay. commercial where the father is teaching the son how to throat ball. right. masturbation freestyle. no wrong way to do it. no rules. >> yes, there is. >> stephanie: okay. >> it only has to feel good to

one person. >> uh, yes. >> you're use agatha -- using a threshing machine. >> stephanie: now you ruined it. you know what? i like -- you're talking too dirty. [ buzzer ] >> could have done without filthy whore part. >> stephanie: we were good right up until there. now get out! get out! [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: a policy requiring all restroom seekers to be paying customers. also has a policy people pay $5 for the privilege. i'm guessing this restaurant owner is a republican. don't know. patricia barnes said the tennessee establishment -- >> tennessee. there you go. >> mailed a handwritten letter to her home address demanding she fork over the restaurant fee she neglected to pay, the $5 because she used the restroom without eating a meal. the restaurant's owner went in

full stalker mode, contacted the sheriff's office. he sent the letter requesting payment. despite repeated efforts to put the incident in the rear-view mirror, they refused to accept the money. it wasn't about the $5. it was about making a point he's a douche nozzle. considering what went into tracking barnes down was it likely cost taxpayers more to track her down and run her license plate. >> wow. >> yeah, well i would -- i mean there's options. of course, next time she can go outside the establishment perhaps. just any time you're going by there, just go outside. >> there was a dumpster. >> just go i did. i left $5 in the bowl. you didn't get it? >> stephanie: all right. one sad note before we go. very personal note for "the stephanie miller show." actress valerie harper who