[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: all right. current tv land, hour number one. jacki schechner. good morning. fellow spinning addiction -- you know cohort. >> what did you do? >> well, you know when your addiction spills over into your work, it is a sad thing. when you inflict your favorite spinning songs on your producer. ♪remember? from class? >> this must be like it's like to be on crystal meth. >> who plays that one?

>> stephanie: angela. our goddess. >> oh, okay. >> no wonder you start spinning? you want to get away from it as quickly as possible. >> stephanie: that's the can i get a woot woot, can i get a woot woot. >> i haven't been able to take her class for awhile. >> stephanie: come with me and get a woot woot. >> you're not getting a woot woot. that's final. >> stephanie: all right. here she is. in the current news center spinning rehab, jacki schechner. >> good morning, everybody. president obama is in germany today. he arrived last night and today met with president at the bellevue palace in berlin. later today he's going to give a speech at the brandenberg gate. he's expected to call for a reduction in the world's nuclear arsenal. he had a joint press conference with chancellor angela merkel in which he talked about some of the issues discussed at the g-8 in northern ireland including upcoming negotiations on the new trans-atlantic trade agreement winding down the war in afghanistan and finding a way

forward with regard to syria. >> obama: right now we need to see an end to the bloodshed. we have to make sure that chemical weapons aren't used on the ground. i thought we saw some progress at the g-8 in reaffirming the need for a transitional governing process and a u.n. investigation of the potential use of chemical weapons there. >> afghanistan's also posing a bit of a challenge. yesterday, the u.s. announced it would open talks with the taliban in. hamid said he won't send and a dalegation until it is in u.s. hands. he wants the u.s. to step out as well. he made announcement but this morning, president obama seemed confident the whole process will move forward. >> obama: president karzai himself recognizes the need for political reconciliation. the challenge is how do you get those things started?

while you're also at war. >> very good, solid point. more show after the break. stay with us. (vo) this afternoon, current tv is the place for compelling true stories. >> jack, how old are you? >> nine. >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines, way inside. (vo) from the underworld, to the world of privilege. >> everyone in michael jackson's life was out to use him. (vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current. >> if you believe in state's rights but still support the drug war you must be high. >> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> do you think that there is any chance we'll see this president even say the words "carbon tax"? >> with an open mind... >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> ...and a distinctly satirical point of view. >> but you mentioned "great leadership"

so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. >> (laughter). >> watch the show. >> only on current tv.

♪ it's a beautiful day ♪ ♪ don't let it get away ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. six minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. hump days with hal sparks. hour number three. very exciting. also very exciting, what are we? two, three days away from vacation. yea. >> the show is only going to get weirder. >> stephanie: right. if you thought it was weird now just you wait! all right. yeah, i am, as you know, all overexcitable because this is

what i do to you. this is what my addiction does to you. everybody knows people who drag their addictions into work. my spinning addiction this is a new song that i love in my spinning class. >> can i get a woot woot, can i get a woot woot. can i get a woot woot, can i get a woot woot. >> trying to sound more annoying than sarah palin. ♪ >> i don't know what's in that song so we're going to fade out of that. >> stephanie: right. that might get nasty who knows. >> can i get a [ bleep ] >> stephanie: i'm so close to death by the time i'm done, i can't process the words. >> if crystal meth had a sound that would be it. [ applause ] >> stephanie: okay. but it's good for spinning. >> what were you saying, jim? >> that's why you're spinning is to get away from it as fast as possible. god! >> stephanie: trying to be parental with me. no, you cannot get a woot woot and that's final. >> stephanie: what about a

what what? >> no. >> stephanie: i'm no edward snowden, father. i said no on the woot woot and the what what. hilarious. sound byte yesterday. all right edward but no more secrets. don't leak anymore. all right! you know what? you're not hanging around with that glen greenwald anymore. now you said the thing about russia. listen to me. don't make me get your mother. no, no! [ laughter ] someone thinks someone did not have enough time-outs as a child. hmm, that's just me. speaking of that whole case, looky, we have hate mail. >> when do we ever get hate mail? >> stephanie: you know. this is one of those issues. if you're not the right kind of liberal, you're not a liberal at all. you're not allowed to play in any of the liberal reindeer games anymore. if you might share some of al franken's thoughts on this.

>> all of a sudden, i'm getting e-mail saying al franken was never a liberal. >> stephanie: what? tell bill o'reilly that! [ laughter ] all right. yeah, people are all over the place on this. but i guess unless you -- what -- the party that allows a big tent that allows us to have different opinions on stuff. can't i get a woot woot on that. can i get a what what? >> no. >> stephanie: this is from paul. identifying liberals. he has a list, jim. bunch of people that are not liberals. guess who's on it. >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> stephanie: paul writes nun's greatest contribution to the national discussion is the pulling back of the liberal veil. ooh, there is a vh-1 special. behind the liberal veil. i can't think of any issue that has more definitively identified people that are the true liberals, those mainly concerned with human rights, you know me, i'm never concerned about those

pesky human rights, from people claiming to be liberal those only slightly left of center, mainly concerned with self-rights and corporate rights. also a big corporate as i am. >> this means rand paul is a liberal. >> stephanie: apparently. >> gotcha. thanks for that clarification guys. >> stephanie: i'm not sure -- what side we're on now. me randi rhodes, i don't know, dianne feinstein. i'm both surprised and saddened -- actually sadden -- normally, there is usual better spelling from liberals. i'm most surprise and sadden that stephanie falls into the latter carrying. this position conflicts with her greatest asset, her humor. now that i know where steph stands, i find myself laughing less and not entertained. [ applause ] >> the rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt.

>> stephanie: not laughing. disappointed. not laughing anymore. all right. >> disappointed! >> stephanie: come on you know you want to laugh again. [farting sounds] >> stephanie: oh, wait, there's more. >> he can join rand paul in the liberal pile. david, tuned into your show after a long absence and whoa! i thought this might end well. but it did not. what water carriers for obama you have become. become? now a warning? >> now a warning? >> stephanie: obama apologist train, why not. >> doke nothing wrong. i mean this whole nsa thing. there are a lot of caps in this one. you have become defenders of everything that is wrong also in caps. >> only liberals use all caps. >> stephanie: i'm defender of everything wrong with this country. i guess all of us. okay. you will be remembered -- >> not me. >> stephanie: you will be remembered as a sellout. >> don't drag me into this.

>> stephanie: oh, and for selling out the happy clappy sexy liberals, i heard it was a hoot. thank you. what do you mean was? >> was he being sarcastic there? >> other than that, nada. i will only remember the sexy liberal tour. which is not over. you will look back in 20 years and say geez, i was part of the problem. i could have stood up to total an airism, i've gone from a fascist to a totalitarian. instead, i carried the water up the hill for obama. well done. that was snarky. the well done probably wasn't sincere. david who has a rod -- the rod up the other guy's butt. >> the rod up that man's butt must have a rod uppity butt. >> that's record time i went from corporate to fascist to

totalitarian. trust me david i will not wake up in 20 years in rehab and remember anything so good luck to you for shaming me. >> i guess some liberals are intolerant. >> stephanie: that's very strange. jim, you're awfully quiet over there. >> uh-oh. do i sense a disturbance? >> what? >> stephanie: he's suddenly hard of hearing darth vader. wasn't listening to that whole thing. this is where sometimes -- you just implied chris. rand paul, elements of the left and the right come together. you know, to me, jim no offense, it gets to be the same, crazy anti-government stuff on both sides you know. i'm sorry. if you think the government was behind 9-11, that's the same thing -- >> it is more complicated than that. >> stephanie: thinking all government is bad no matter what. but my point is you have an inherent mistrust of government

it seems. any government. any time we play a sound byte, oh i don't believe that. i don't believe that. i get people. i get people mistrusting. but i'm sorry. i trust the government more. i trust the government more obama more than bush. i think it makes me a liberal. >> a lot of people that are in government are still left over from the bush government. >> stephanie: right. >> and obama can't keep a close eye on every single person in government. >> stephanie: i gotta say, you know, i don't know if somebody wrote a piece about the fascinating obama charlie rose interview. he said a lot of stuff he doesn't normally get stuff to talk -- get time to talk about. i do think you don't have to be an obama apologist to be gee it must be different sitting here in captain america's underpants as a talk radio host than to be leader of the free world and the intelligence and having to make the decisions about keeping an entire country safe that he has to make.

you know i thought this was -- actually, i'm trying to think here. i thought it was a really interesting -- he said -- he started by saying some people say you know, obama was this raving liberal before which jim always said. he never was. you weren't paying attention. obama said now he's dick cheney. dick cheney sometimes says yeah, he took the bush/cheney approach, all lock, stock and barrel. my concern has been are we setting up a system of checks and balances. whether it is adequate or not that's another discussion. but anyway, says they'll say when you start looking at meta data, you can match it up. all of that is true except for the fact for the government under the program right now to do that would be illegal. we would not be allowed to do that. i was reading another -- former nsa guy in one piece was saying that the snowden sturvetion he

basically said he doesn't know what he's talking about. he said -- i don't know how -- i think he said a quarter of what he's saying is true but that's the worst kind of truth because it is so misleading. most of it is not true. he was saying the essence of what he's saying. he said that's the -- whatever he called it. he said only a small part and so that makes -- a misleading big picture when -- that was another point. >> i get your point. >> stephanie: dick cheney. do we have that ready? did we have to dig back in the archives for this mother. most of us that barely survived through the bush administration, you see dick cheney on tv, you have this reflexive -- the obama administration has no credibility. oh god. almost everything he ever said was proved to be a lie. we put it to music as i recall. ♪nounce stephanie miller.

♪ lies, lie lies, lies ♪ >> i have not suggested there is a connection between iraq and 9-11. the first time i ever met you is when you walked down the stairs. ♪ lies, lie lies, lies ♪ >> stephanie: wasn't support of gay marriage. >> that was from the very first month we were on the air here. >> stephanie: very seldom, like when someone would call him on a lie to his face, he would say no you didn't. you said that -- >> no, i didn't. i did not say that. >> it was not me. it was somebody else. >> stephanie: no, it was on tape. >> it was chip daney. here you go. >> stephanie: all right. >> he put on a brunette wig like samantha in bewitched. >> he's my nonevil twin.

>> he becomes serena. [ laughter ] >> we'll refer to him as serena from now on. >> stephanie: 17 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: call the political party line now, 1-800-steph-12.

(vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. (vo) she's joy behar. >>current will let me say anything.

>> stephanie miller. ♪ are you gonna be my girl ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the

stephanie miller show." 22 minutes after the hour. always good to get a fresh set of eyes on an old problem, isn't it jim? >> sorry what? >> stephanie: sorry what, what? we seem to be having a little dead air problem. >> i don't know what you're -- >> stephanie: excuse me? >> talking about. >> stephanie: okay. >> okay, fine. >> stephanie: all right. okay. been going on for months. we have to explain it to someone new. the problem is there's a lot of time where there's no sound which generally we were taught, we're kind of old time radio people, that's not so good. >> that's the new thing. >> can i point out, i'm not the one causing it because i'm running the board here and it is not me. >> stephanie: much better quality of dead air than we've had. that's good. 1-800-steph-12. >> it is a computer issue. it freezes every morning. >> stephanie: got it. isn't there someone who can say move and fix it. 1-800-steph-12 the phone until toll free. this hour brought to you by gotomypc.com. summer is here!

the weather's great. kids are out of school. so many places you would rather be stuff you would rather be doing but you don't have to be at work. you can be productive and escape the office, use go to my pc. it turns any computer, smart phone or tablet into your office computer or o your home computer. which is a little more reliable -- >> than the giant servers. >> stephanie: you can be at the park or the pool. go to the gym where you spend 24 hours a day. go to my pc by citrix gives you secure access to your office mac or pc. you can use any program. even those you do not have on your mobile device. you can stay connected. plus go to my pc is so simple to use. i had a friend over that saw the creepy time when you take over my computer. with go to my pc to print my show prep. chris is routing around in my underthings. >> you didn't leave anything open that time. >> stephanie: i've learned my lesson. try go to my pc today with a special 45-day free trial.

visit gotomypc.com. click on that there try it free button and enter the promo code stephanie and download the free app. that's gotomypc.com. click on the try it free button. the promo code is stephanie. hola in alabama. >> caller: i watch you every day. i'm trying to figure out why is it that they're so up in the air about the surveillance that they have to do here in the united states when there are so many hate groups that just hate obama, that they want to kill him. so i guess they want them to go ahead on and kill him huh? >> stephanie: well, i mean, i guess what i don't like about the nsa thing is i feel like we're falling into -- i've heard so many people -- this seems like a right wing plot. first of all something doesn't smell right about it. it is dividing people on the left who knows if they're trying to depress turnout in 2014, i don't really know.

but again, bill maher is -- i guess he's not a classic liberal but he's pretty much the same as i am on this issue. a lot of people. i don't think it is such a cut-and-dried issue to know, for instance who wrote this? john, our good friend. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] >> air bose sis. >> stephanie: did i say that right? >> probably not. >> stephanie: he quotes charlie persson here. he wrote famed nsa leaker edward snowden almost had me convinced of sincerity until today when he released damaging information about the u.s. spying on russia's former president and offered up no such revelation with how it jives with helping the american people. snowden so far has given none for today's new leaks. liberal. then he's quoting charlie pierce. pierce's reaction was priceless.

just shut up now. every time you say stuff like this, you make it easier to marginalize you as the message message -- messenger. no more questions from greenwald. huddle with your legal advisers. the united states government is not interested in murdering you. if you have proof of the contrary, please provide it. all words al-awlaki will be disallowed by our judges. also points out that now snowden is saying direct access to tech giant servers isn't nsa policy but analysts like snowden have the capabilities to do it. yeah. so it is like -- jim, some of the stuff he says is suspect too. snowden. i'm not saying i totally disagree with all of his points but anyway -- >> can i read you something from beth in minneapolis? >> stephanie: yes, please. >> she says i was taught just because you think you're innocent, deep surveillance on americans won't affect you. this is a false and fernitious and dangerous -- pernicious and

dangerous way of thinking. a protestant pastor spent the last seven years in nazi ruling concentration camps. he's best remembered for the quotation that came for the socialist. i do not speak out because i was not a socialist then the trade unionists. i did not speak out. on and on. >> stephanie: i get it. >> there's no one left to speak for me. >> stephanie: any time there's someone left to speak. you and i have both said, that's a slippery slope. i get that that argument is not necessarily -- because you can't use -- >> there's not that in germany by any stretch of the imagination. >> stephanie: hello, dale. >> caller: good morning, y'all. i do not think that we can trust any policy or program that came out of the cheney/bush administration. whether it's medicare b or the nsa, i think that anything that they enacted, the very root of it is going to be evil. >> stephanie: well, you know,

i think the auto bailout was a good idea. there are some things that he did that the president -- >> caller: you're right. i'm thinking of things if they came up on their own. >> stephanie: i agree. we have to review things that we did in a panic right after 9-11. but the fact is it seems like from -- you know, from informed sources that we are doing it with more transparency and more oversight whether it is still enough maybe not. would i like to be able to redo the patriot act or tweak it? yeah. but i'm saying the fact is we are doing it again i don't want to say it again. bush did it without warrants at all. 29 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." to the fire. are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night? is this personal, or is it political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i'm given to doing anyway, by staying in touch with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it.

in reality it's not like they actually care. this is purely about political grandstanding. i've worn lots of hats, but i've always kept this going. i've been doing politics now for a dozen years. (vo) he's been called the epic politics man. he's michael shure and his arena is the war room. >> these republicans in congress that think the world ends at the atlantic ocean border and pacific ocean border. the bloggers and the people that are sort of compiling the best of the day. i do a lot of looking at those people as well. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people, but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care about them right?

>> if you believe in state's rights but still support the drug war you must be high. >> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> do you think that there is any chance we'll see this president even say the words "carbon tax"? >> with an open mind... >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> ...and a distinctly

satirical point of view. >> but you mentioned "great leadership" so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. >> (laughter). >> watch the show. >> only on current tv. (vo) this afternoon, current tv is the place for compelling true stories. >> jack, how old are you? >> nine. >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines, way inside. world of privilege. >> everyone in michael jackson's life was out to use him. (vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current.

>> i just found out that -- >> stephanie miller. >> i want to say that was the most brilliant performance ever in the history of everything. >> how much did you pay that guy? >> stephanie: awesome. thank you. 34 minutes after the hour. lora in l.a., you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi laura. >> caller: you're missing the point, you guys. this whole nsa subcontracting thing is a big boondoggle. they're just taking money and moving it. >> stephanie: what do you mean? >> caller: well, it costs us billions and what are we getting for it? what do we really know? these guys don't have any loyalty to the government. they only have loyalty to an employer. >> stephanie: right. we've said that repeatedly on the show, laura. we think the private contracting thing is a large -- >> that's what they should

investigate. really get rid of all of the subcontracting. >> stephanie: laura when they say -- because people have said that's because that's where the technology is. okay. maybe it is time to rethink things as a government. why do we not have money to build infrastructure or technology or whatever. so we're going to subcontract out our national security? >> caller: it's crazy. plus, i love you guys. >> stephanie: i love you back. thank you. the president talking about the nsa. >> obama: i'm not sure if you can characterize this as a new policy. this is consistent with the policy that i've had throughout. >> stephanie: i was telling you, jim, i don't know if you saw that bill maher but he was reading the whole story from "usa today." he said by the way this is dated 2006. exact same -- people just forget. same story. general keith alexander nsa director. >> these programs together with other intelligence have protected the u.s. and our allies from terrorist threats across the globe to include

helping prevent the potential terrorist events over 50 times since 9-11. >> yeah, i'm a little wary of that sort of thing. look at all of the things that didn't happen. >> stephanie: i know jim. i think the truth is somewhere in between. again, did i distrust it when dick cheney would say stuff like that? because some of those were proven to be blatantly untrue. this torture stopped this specific thing. it was bull crap. >> he wasn't czech republic when he was in florida. >> stephanie: you can't say this is not -- this has not foiled some terrorist plots. which specific ones in which parts of -- what kind of surveillance did what and could you have done it through other law enforcement means? maybe. but to say it hasn't foiled anything is probably ridiculous. just as ridiculous on the other side, i think. john inglis, nsa's deputy. >> only two, for a total of

2authorized to -- 22 are authorized to approve numbers to query the database. >> stephanie: they brought michele bachmann in. >> she's on the house intelligence committee. >> stephanie: jumbo shrimp. >> have you spied on american citizens? >> we do not target u.s. persons anywhere in the world without a specific court warrant. >> that was actually a good question. >> what? >> stephanie: now it's bad because the socialist is doing it. i'm quite sure we can go back and find tape of her with sean hannity about how very essential this program is back when it was under bush. fbi deputy director. >> we found through electronic surveillance, they were in the initial stages of plotting to bomb the new york stock exchange. sit here before you today humbly, and say these tools have helped us.

>> stephanie: okay. we have to take his word for it. >> stephanie: is there a way to make fisa less of a rubber stamp. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: did not mean to imply that anyone on wall street -- all right. i didn't repeat it so newsbusters had a harder edit there. jim heinz and joyce. >> i hope you'll elucidate for us specifically case by case, how many stopped terrorist attacks were those programs essential to? >> i think you ask an almost impossible question to say how important each dot was. >> stephanie: again chris we said this before. this is what's hard about talking about classified stuff or talking about national security stuff. obviously they can't tell you every part of every paris plot

because -- of every terrorist's plot because then -- i'm trying to remember -- i wish i could find the article i think it was the "l.a. times" about the former nsa guy talking about how he said -- i think he called it a half truth. he said that what snowden said, it is a quarter percent true. he said that's the most dangerous kind of half truth is what he said because it is misleading. and you know, any of us that have ever had a half truth told about us. there is some grain of truth in it. anybody of us ever had a half truth told about us -- >> google any of the three of us. >> stephanie: half truths, all of it. little bit yes. but the truth is -- [ laughter ] >> stephanie: i thought it was interesting. who posted this about the fascinating obama charlie rose interview. it doesn't matter the topic jim, i think we've been talking about syria. lindsey graham and -- what do you call it? john mccain. we were laughing because they

literally had green behind them. they're the senators from the green room. that's where they're from. but it is just everybody knows better. gotta go and should have gone -- and sooner with bigger guns and you gotta do no-fly zone. it was interesting because i don't think -- the president normally has time to get down in the weeds like this but he said some interesting stuff on syria and assad. he said this argument that somehow we had gone in earlier or heavier in some fashion that the tragedy and chaos taking place in syria wouldn't be taking place i think is wrong. the fact of the matter is the way the situations get resolved is politically. the people who are being suppressed inside of syria who develop into a military opposition, the folks are carpenters and black smiths and dentists. the notion there was some professional military inside syria for us to immediately support a year ago or two years ago is wrong. again, a lot of the people, they're only interested in making the president wrong and whatever he did was wrong or too soon or wasn't soon enough. too big or whatever, right? what's clear is assad at this

point in part because of his support from iran and russia believes he does not have to engage in a political transition. believes he can continue to violently suppress over half of the population. as long as he's got the mindset it will be difficult to resolve the situation there. i, for one am glad to have a president that understands situations are complex rather than george bush who didn't know there was a difference between sunnis and shiites when he invaded iraq. finally, he said what i'm saying is that if you haven't been in a situation room, pouring through intelligence and meeting directly with our military folks and asking what are all of our options, examining what are all of the consequences and understanding, for example, if you set up a no-fly zone, you may not be solving the problem on the zone or if you set up a humanitarian corridor, are you committed not only to stopping aircraft from going into the corridor but also missiles. if so, does that mean then that you have to take out the armaments in damascus. are you prepared to bomb damascus? whatwhat happens if there are

civilian casualties. make sure we don't drop a bomb on a facility that then kills civilians which is exactly what we're trying to prevent. unless you've been involved in those conversations, it is hard for you to understand the complexity of the situation and how we have to not rush into one more war in the middle east. to that, we say thank you. >> let's hear it for -- >> what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. >> stephanie: let's hear it for the man. that sound byte loses its -- ♪ let's hear it for the ♪ >> computer failure right before that word pops up. >> stephanie: right. because then news busters will see they're just as racist on the left. ♪ let's hear it for the ♪ >> man and -- [ laughter ] >> stephanie: all right. the president, in fact, on syria. the president. >> obama: we're not taking sides in a religious war between

shiite and sunni. really, what we're trying to do is take sides against extremists of all sorts. >> stephanie: as he explains, i was just reading complex you know. this is amazing to me. lindsey graham seems to know exactly inherently, he knows what to do in every situation. >> i know exactly what to do. i'm not gonna tell you but i know. i'll tell you when you're doing it wrong. >> over and over again. >> stephanie: you know, guns never big enough. >> war is never big enough. >> the troop size is never big enough. >> stephanie: the president. >> both of our governments have strong evidence that chemical weapons have been used in the past by the outside regime. but we are very comfortable with the approach taken by the g-8 that allows the u.n. the full powers it needs to investigate.

>> stephanie: right. as opposed to when john bolton was in power and thought we could lose several floors of the u.n. and it wouldn't make any -- >> you can't sell assad without ass. >> stephanie: that's important to point out as well. >> secretary building in new york has 38 stores. if you lost ten stories today it wouldn't make a bit of difference. >> stephanie: okay. he was a cool head. >> that was helpful. >> stephanie: one of the cooler heads that prevailed in the bush years. crazy mustache goes up. huh? 45 minutes. >> gigantic milk mustache. >> stephanie: speaking of which, we're going to blow the lid off the whole cap'n crunch controversy next. >> there's a controversy? >> stephanie: next on "the stephanie miller show." >> call the political party line now. 1-800-steph-12.

(vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. (vo) she's joy behar. >>current will let me say anything. (vo) next on current tv, vanguard, the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. >> wherever the story is, we will go to get it. >> we dive deep into the topics that we cover. doesn't get any more real than this. (vo) and on the next vanguard >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) it is mexico's largest cash crop, and as it heads north onto american soil, current tv follows the money. >> this industry is just huge.

♪ dancing in heaven ♪ ♪ i never thought ♪ >> stephanie: yep yep yep it is "the stephanie miller show." 49 minutes after the hour. hump days with hal sparks coming up live in studio in just a bit. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. we've been having some theme song issues. [ whatever! ] >> stephanie: rocky mountain mike reminds us we do have other spare theme songs. ♪

♪ it's time to start the music ♪ ♪ it's time to do the show ♪ ♪ it's time to get things started ♪ ♪ it's time to see who farted ♪ ♪ on the celebrational ♪ >> informational. ♪ this is "the stephanie miller show" ♪ thank you rocky mountain mike. >> under consideration. >> stephanie: put that in the hopper as they say. all right. speaking of kid's stuff who knew there was a controversy. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] cap'n crunch forced to refute claims he's not a cap'n. this may be the first signal that we have entirely too much free time in our society. someone has noticed cap'n crunch doesn't have the right number of

stripes. >> captain has four stripes. he has three. lower ranking officer can be the captain of the ship, for example, jack kennedy who was captain was a lieutenant jg which is the half stripe above an enson. >> stephanie: perhaps we should take a moment to point out he's the captain of a [ bleep ] box of cereal. >> his boat has a name. >> stephanie: i'm getting to it. hold on! i've got more details. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] >> i did not know his boat had a name. >> stephanie: i have free time for everything in the world. and by the way crunch berries pro or con. i think they're the devil's candy. that just made it more wrong. >> that's the only kind of cap'n crunch i eat is the crunchberry. >> it is a little too much sugar. >> you might as well drink a whole bottle of pancake syrup. >> stephanie: sugary evil adding more sugary evil. >> it adds a little color.

>> stephanie: right. with a little more artificial color. >> like cap'n crunch nuggets aren't artificially colored yellow. >> of course they are. >> stephanie: i still have some cap'n crunch in my teeth from the '70s. >> i still have wounds on the roof of my mouth. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] >> stephanie: like a bunch of cap'n crunch stalagmites. >> call it cap'n broken glass. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: gawker brings us the story. the internet has managed perhaps the greatest controversy. cap'n crunch is not in actuality a captain. while his uniform displays three stripes, a captain wears four stripes on his or her cuff. it wasn't too long before cnn uh-oh, is this what i'm going to have to talk about tonight? cnn unleashed the full force to get to the bottom of the soggy cereal bowl of lies. is childhood canceled? not quite.

in response to claims he's been lying about his rank, potentially making him a criminal and a traitor cap'n crunch -- >> he has a first and middle name? >> and a twitter account. >> stephanie: took to his official twitter account. i don't know. will he have to walk the plank with edward snowden? who can say. to refute the allegations he said all hearsay and misunderstandings, i captain the s. s. guppy which makes me an official cap'n. being in command of a seafaring vessel automatically entitles one to be addressed as cap'n. also one fark -- >> maybe the ranks of your breakfast cereal are different. another one added i find it alarming a navy would accept someone whose eyeball is

beyond -- who knew the ship was called the guppy. [ crickets chirping ] >> i thought it was the s. s. rust worthy was something. can someone tell me what it was? >> stephanie: you're thinking of the minnow? >> no, the s. s. rustworthy was something. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: we'll just wait. 1-800-steph-12 we need the answer now. okay. by the way we have a free brazilian power crystal if you call now with the s. s. rustworthy. >> call now to get six free -- this brazilian power crystal absolutely free. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> disney california adventure. >> is that it? >> stephanie: there you go. disney california adventure. i'll take fictional boats for $20, alex. the minnow. the minnow. >> the minnow would be lost. >> stephanie: right! "gilligan's island." the guppy. cap'n crunch's boat.

the rustworthy. the s. s. rustworthy, disney's california adventure. paradise pier section. >> stephanie: could it be long before jim has to sing the -- rack up the edmund fitzgerald. ♪ >> stephanie: the wordiest song in the history of songs. this is what happens when we get into the slow news summer. >> oh, yeah. >> stephanie: we're going to have a theme this morning of fictional boats. yep. that's the wordiest song. is it the longest song ever? >> no. shanty. long and short. >> stephanie: those long story songs from the '70s. >> gordon lightfoot was famous from those. >> stephanie: and also one time i remember when -- for god's sake. it is like the onion belt story set to music. oh, really? ♪ weather got rough and the seas they got high ♪

>> that's what they call the ferry to shellbyville. >> stephanie: for $20 alex! >> for my shoe. >> stephanie: all right. >> two bs for a quarter. >> five bs for a quarter. >> stephanie: everyone knows that. okay. all right. see, that's why i like my songs simple now because i burned out on the long story songs in the '70s. can i get a woot woot, can i get a what what. just one chorus. that's it. one thing repeated over and over again. not a lot to remember. ♪ [ ♪ rap ♪ ] ♪ can i get a woot woot ♪

♪ can i get a woot woot, can i get a what what ♪ >> can i get a defibrillator. >> that's what crystal meth sounds like. >> stephanie: i'm not crystal meth. >> are you crystal gayle? >> stephanie: wouldn't i like to be. how many times town she's said ow -- how many times do you think she's said ow, you're on my hair. she's got really long -- [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> really? okay. we warned you at the beginning of the hour it was going to get weird. >> stephanie: it's summer. and it's right before vacation. and this is where we go. you're going to laugh at that later. ow, you're on my hair. you have to be 1,000 years old to get that joke. >> someone in the chat room said can i get a herp derp, can i get a herp derp. >> stephanie: can i get an

irma gird. >> speaking of processed food like cap'n crunch, gawker brings us the story food engineers making processed food seem unprocessed involves more processing. >> of course it does. >> stephanie: responding to america's concern over overprocessed foods they're now increasingly tempting to give their products a real appearance. >> by adding carmel color to make it look like it has been charred. >> stephanie: the butter like looking on movie popcorn. kraft foods created a process for uneven turkey slabs for their carving board line so we can feel like it is more natural. >> it is not carved from an actual turkey? >> no. >> stephanie: it's turkey. ow, you're on crystal gayle's hair. right back on "the stephanie miller show."

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: okay. hour number two current tv, jacki schechner newswoman extraordinaire. you've never been with us for a summer when news starts to slow down. >> i was here last summer. >> stephanie: oh, were you? did we get into -- >> i've been here from the very beginning. how quickly you forget! >> stephanie: have you ever had to sing edmund fitzgerald with us? i don't think so. >> i don't sing. >> stephanie: lake superior has a hard time giving up her dead. >> i don't do sing. i don't do song. >> out how we go from tramp to this? hello, non sequitur. really? >> stephanie: good news for

everyone who wants relevant information, next week, jacki schechner will be here live in studio with hal sparks. >> i promise none of that. whatever that was. not happening! ♪ >> stephanie: okay. that's it. time for news. here she is. jacki schechner. >> good morning, everybody. president obama just wrapped up a speech at the brandenburg gate in berlin. this appearance comes one week shy of the 50 year anniversary of president kennedy's famous speech where he said if i'm a berliner, i'm a berliner. jfk gave remarks facing west. today president obama stood on the eastern side and faced what was once communist germany. he addressed a crowd of 200,000 but he wasn't allowed to speak at the gate itself because he wasn't yet a sitting president. the president opened a speech on a light note joking while michelle obama and sasha and malia are with him in berlin and send their best, the last thing they wanted to do was listen to him give yet another speech so they were out touring the city.

before today's crowd president obama spoke of peace with justice which includes reducing the threat of nuclear weapons the importance of equality for everyone regardless of sexual orientation, taking bold action to slow climate change and putting people back to work as our economies recover. >> obama: every person can enjoy the dignity that comes from work whether they live in chicago or cleveland or belfast or berlin, in athens or madrid, everybody deserves opportunity. we have to have economies that are working for all people, not just those at the very top. >> speaking of the economy a new cnn rsp poll asks if you're better economically now? >> conditions are somewhat good, 44% of americans say their personal financial situation worse off than a year ago. kind of a mixed bag. we're back after the break.

party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know i'm going to be the first one to call them out. cenk on air>> what's unacceptable is how washington continues to screw the middle class over. cenk off air i don't want the middle class taking the brunt of the spending cuts and all the different programs that wind up hurting the middle class. cenk on air you got to go to the local level, the state level and we have to fight hard to make sure they can't buy our politics anymore. cenk off air and they can question if i'm right about that. but i think the audience gets that, i actually mean it. cenk on air 3 trillion dollars in spending cuts! narrator uniquely progressive and always topical the worlds largest online news show is on current tv. cenk off air and i think the audience gets, "this guys to best of his abilities is trying to look out for us." only on current tv!

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♪ the legend lives on from the chippewa on down of the big lake they call -- ♪ >> we were looking for a new theme song. >> stephanie: take that, lawyers. gordon lightfoot for you. ♪kill some time this hour. ♪ the edmund fitzgerald ♪ ♪ that good ship and crew ♪ >> stephanie: going to take a nap. see if they notice. it is the "the stephanie miller show." six minutes after the hour. oh and rocky mountain mike reminds us that he did a parody of this one. we all remember the green pashmina cher incident when the one time i got to meet cher, i

was wearing wrinkly green pashmina. ♪ legend lives on of the chick they called ♪ she's had a good meal and her idea comes from "i love lucy" ♪ ♪ she went out for a bash fully loaded with her box of vino ♪ ♪ and later that night with cher's arm on her right wearing the green pashmina. >> stephanie: that's me. thank you rocky mountain mike. all right look, it is travis

bone. associate producer/phone screener. you brought your own hate letter in. >> apparently i'm a show killer, too. >> stephanie: we'll add to that your title. normally i'm perfectly capable of killing my own show but okay. who is this from? okay. i can't read who it's from. >> it is anonymous. >> stephanie: oh, you know who they are. >> oh, i've been trying to figure out for the last hour. >> stephanie: subject is fairness travis. let me start by saying i've been watching and listening to stephanie for five or six years. my loyalty has faded since you were hired i've noticed several things. >> oh! >> stephanie: snap! first, being a white woman i've noticed fewer minorities have been allowed to call in. >> stephanie: racist! [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] >> first of all i put a lot of angry callers through on a regular basis and second of all how does she know i'm not letting them through? especially the white woman. >> stephanie: guess you'll

have to sleep with your several. >> look at all of the things that didn't happen. >> stephanie: i've called the show five times and each time you claim the subject i'm calling about is not being discussed anymore. also, i'm offended my educated views aren't allowed but you permit some of the worst people to call and voice the dumbest things known to man. >> they're more entertaining. >> that's your fault for not spraying the troll be gone! >> stephanie: your fault for not being dumb enough. i don't understand why you have a nasty attitude. get your act and manners together because the show wouldn't be a show and you wouldn't be employed if it weren't for callers like myself. harumph! what do you have to say for yourself travis? >> can i highlight of the spelling errors? the lack of caps. >> and she calls herself educated. >> stephanie: i'm educabated. >> stephanie: i was already on a downward spiral.

you're like lindsay lohan's last aa sponsor. look, it was not my fault. i just got here late. like a bear running downhill. >> we started jumbling when i got here. just make a clear point or talk clearly or don't have birds squawking in the background when you call. >> stephanie: honey, we were already circling the drain but thank you for helping us down it. >> you're the best. >> you're the greatest. >> i do what i can. team player. >> stephanie: don't you love it like i was telling your screener the first thing you say is don't say as what i was saying to your screener like i just told travis. i can hear him through the soundproof thing. [ screaming ] because all due respect no one cares what you say to the screener. >> nope. >> i go no, no, no. don't tell me. save it for stephanie. >> that's what a good screener says. >> as i was saying to no one in particular. >> stephanie: you should be like charlie in charlie's

angels. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] you don't exist. >> thanks, t-bone. >> stephanie: bye t-bone, we love you. ♪ let's hear it for the boy ♪ ♪ let's give the boy a hand ♪ >> stephanie: all right. for some reason, because it is summer and it is ashow slow "newsweek," and it is right before vacation, what is our theme? alex, i'll take fictional boats for $20. this started with cap'n crunch's boat. the guppy. the minnow. >> "gilligan's island." >> stephanie: i don't know what my boat is called. ♪ go up and down the dial with stephanie, the producer, too the voice deity and his wife, shaniqua ♪ ♪ john fuglesang here on stephanie's show ♪ >> stephanie: thank you, rocky mountain mike. we have more themes than we

thought. >> the submarine in operation petticoat is the u.s.s. sea tiger. >> aren't submarines usually named after cities? [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] >> when i was in high school, i think we took a tour of the u.s.s. atlanta in norfolk virginia. >> there is one in san francisco and what's the one i saw in hawaii? >> stephanie: the point is -- we have stumbled on the topic crunch berries pro or con. i say the devil's candy. >> i say you can't have them without crunch berries. >> stephanie: that's why you have to marry this woman. judge of the u.s. district court in california has dismissed the case sugar over pepsico inc. janine hsu claimed she purchased the cereal cap'n crunch with crunch berries which she believed indicated she was eating real berries. >> there was a cereal where they had freeze-dried strawberries in

it. >> freeze-dried blueberries. >> stephanie: or alternatively, janine -- ♪ are you an idiot ha, ha, ha, ha ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ >> stephanie: after four years, it took her awhile of purchasing the product, she only recently discovered to her dismay that the quote-unquote berries were, in fact, simply brightly colored cereal balls. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] i know what it's like, janine, when another dream dies. i understand. >> buy a bag of glass cereal. >> stephanie: invite you over for some count chocula. we can get through this together. >> count chocula is not made out of real vampires. >> what? >> stephanie: i'm suing! we are done as a country. really? herp derp. irma gird.

i didn't realize for four years these are not real berries. you would have out in of thought before then, she might have injured herself with a rubber spoon. >> grape newt nuts has neither -- grape nuts has neither grapes or nuts in them. >> i've been lied to. >> stephanie: that's the day i turned gay. >> grape nuts. >> that was the cereal that broke your teeth. >> stephanie: that was like gravel. like driveway gravel. >> some parts are edible. ow. >> stephanie: cap'n crunch is like a bag of glass and grape nuts is like a box of rocks. >> grape nuts -- you had to pour sugar on it. >> stephanie: they got it like on -- >> you had to pour enough sugar on to leave that sand -- the sand dune of sugar at the bottom of the bowl. >> stephanie: i think there is a conspiracy. somehow dentists are behind the invention of grape nuts. oh, you broke your tooth on

grape nuts again. >> sugar is rotting your teeth too. cha-ching. >> stephanie: got a lot of sugar on there too. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. yep, it's summer. tim in nashville you're on "the stephanie miller show". >> caller: good morning. >> stephanie: good morning. >> caller: i couldn't tell i was on. hey, you know, the edmund fitzgerald actually was a real boat. it wasn't fiction. >> stephanie: oh, okay. >> caller: also, he wrote a previous song, he has a list of writing songs about boats and boats that sink. i actually think it was a better song called the armath castle. that's back when he was just a canadian artist. as jim probably knows jay ward -- jay ward, of course, was known for really great scripting but his animation or at least his pictures were not actually

the best. >> stephanie: okay. >> it was the characters -- and the writing. the writing is brilliant. >> stephanie: speaking of everything old that's new again. birtherism. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] republican representatives said congress should revisit questions about obama's validity because, you see appearing on true news talk radio that must be where you get the true news. jeff duncan, republican of south carolina. agreed with host rick wild that congress ought to revisit questions about president obama's birth certificate in light of the recent scandals involving the i.r.s. and the department of revenue. because -- >> there's no there. there's no scandal. >> stephanie: if we know they're lying about all of the other things, why not go back and say maybe the first scandal was a lie too. there you go, duncan agreed. i'm all with you. so let's go back and revisit some of the things because americans have questions about

not only the i.r.s. scandal but also about the president's validity. and so that happened. [ applause ] maybe he should marry crunch berry woman. but the president isn't really the president. >> stephanie: herp derp. they could have kids and name them herp and derp. okay. i need a nap. okay. 17 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: join the party. 1-800-steph-12.

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♪ last flight i had a crazy dream about a chick in a black bikini ♪ while she looked so good, she couldn't be real, she must be -- >> stephanie miller. ♪ chicka boom ♪ >> you listened to this on a.m. radio while eating your crunch berries. >> stephanie: yes, did i. 1-800-steph-12 toll free from anywhere. while laying on crystal gayle's hair. >> everybody was laying on crystal gayle's hair. >> stephanie: ow, you're on my hair. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: how many times did crystal gayle say that? ow, you're on my hair. ow, you're still on it. >> a mile away from her and you would be on her hair. like the wax vac guy.

sorry. am i on your hair again? >> stephanie: i really need a vacation! i'm going to do that later. okay. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. all right. so the boner did you see someone asked him after a meeting about whether he could lose his job over highlighting the hastert rule. he said maybe. >> i don't care. i need to go back to the tavern. >> stephanie: let's see, speaker john boehner tried to assure conservatives in a closed door meeting he wouldn't advance an immigration bill through the house without the support of the majority of republicans. they'll bone up this immigration bill. i can feel it. boner acknowledged he's better -- >> who better to bone it up. >> stephanie: right. acknowledged he's violated this principle called the hastert rule. on a only when there is a bad alternative. >> the hastert rule is you must consume a certain amount of pork products in cooke county.

>> stephanie: let me be clear. we have plenty of leverage. i'm no intention of putting a bill on the floor that will divide our conference. i've no intention of putting a bill on the floor the people in this room do not believe secures our borders. it won't happen. guess what. they're never going to think the borders are secure. it doesn't matter what we do. even if they bring herman cain in and put him in charge. okay. representative zoe lofgren. >> this bill were to become law we would expect, as we saw eight years ago millions of american citizens taking to the street to demonstrate, to protect members of their family and members of their community from the wrong things that this bill would incur. >> stephanie: okay. representative luis gutierrez democrat of illinois. >> part of our community we sit in the same pews with them. we pay in the same play lots with them.

we work in the same communities with them. don't criminalize them. >> stephanie: thank you. the boner talking about boning it up. here he is. john boner. >> any immigration reform bill that is going to go into law majority of both parties support -- if we're really serious about making that happen. >> stephanie: how many times does he say serious? serious. serious. if you're serious. people aren't being serious. >> stephanie: representative trey gowdy republican of south carolina. >> we trust them to enforce laws ranging from capital murder to shoplifting. and everything in between. surely, we can trust them to enforce immigration laws. >> that's the guy whose head looks like an a-frame because of the way he parts his hair. >> stephanie: he looks like an a-frame house. >> he's not just gowdy. he's trey gowdy. staff gratuitous shot. >> he deserves it. >> stephanie: google him. sue in rockville you're on "the stephanie miller show."

hi sue. >> caller: good morning. i wish you guys a fabulous vacation next week. >> stephanie: thank you. >> we obviously need it. >> stephanie: really. >> caller: i believe after the few weeks i've had, can i come with you please? >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: i'll pay my own way wherever you're going. >> stephanie: okey-dokey. >> caller: we need to do a woot woot to representative elijah cummings for releasing the full transcripts and embarrassing the hell out of the lying sack of crap darrell issa. >> stephanie: exactly. completely exonerates the white house. >> stephanie: i know. yes. i have the headline in front of me. i.r.s. official, white house was not involved in targeting of conservative groups. >> it is so weird because i mean why wouldn't you trust someone who lied about his military record is an arsonist and a convicted car never? >> stephanie: yeah, what's -- >> if you can't trust him, who can you trust? >> you know did he lie about his military record. he said he was guarding richard

nixon in san francisco when nixon was president at the world series even though nixon wasn't actually there. and he lied about -- he was there only for five years in the military. he got bad conduct discharges. no one ever talks about that. they just let this guy's money buy, you know -- i want to see -- >> stephanie: i love the fact if he were with nixon nixon would have been the person with more credibility. i think we should think about that for a moment. >> caller: exactly. >> i'm not a crook. that guy is a crook. >> stephanie: seriously. car thief. okay. yes, what sue refers to is -- in rebuke to house oversight committee chairman darrell issa, elijah cummings released a full transcript, a full transcript of a key interview with an i.r.s. employee at the heart of the agencies. scandal, air quotes, republican and democratic committee staffers interviewed john share on june 6th about the agency's decision to scrutinize the

tax-exempt status. schaefer identified himself as a conservative republican, identified himself, by the way said he'd worked for the i.r.s. since 1992. he and a fellow screener flagged a tea party group and continued to do so with subsequent applications in order to maintain consistency in the process. his team flagged the first tea party application because it appeared to be a high profile case. he wanted to make sure all high profile cases received similar attention. do you have any reason to believe anyone in the white house was involved in the decision to screen tea party cases, shaver replied, i have no reason to believe that. >> what do you really mean by that? >> stephanie: do you have any reason to believe anyone in the white house was involved in the decision to centralize the review of tea party cases he was asked. i have no reason to believe that. he replied. asked if he had ever communicated with them, then i.r.s. commissioner shulman about the screening of tea party cases, he replied i have not.

[ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] end scene. hmm. okay. >> yeah, but benghazi -- >> stephanie: looking for the there, there still stumbling around looking for the there. >> acorn. >> stumbling around. >> stephanie: okay. 29 minutes. >> walking through glass doors. 29 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." to the fire. are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night? is this personal, or is it political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i'm given to doing anyway, by staying in touch with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it.

in reality it's not like they actually care. this is purely about political grandstanding. i've worn lots of hats, but i've always kept this going. i've been doing politics now for a dozen years. (vo) he's been called the epic politics man. he's michael shure and his arena is the war room. >> these republicans in congress that think the world ends at the atlantic ocean border and pacific ocean border. the bloggers and the people that are sort of compiling the best of the day. i do a lot of looking at those people as well. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people, but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do

cenk off air alright in 15 minutes we're going to do the young turks! i think the number 1 thing than viewers like about the young turks is that were honest. they know that i'm not bsing them for some hidden agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know i'm going to be the first one to

call them out. cenk on air>> what's unacceptable is how washington continues to screw the middle class over. cenk off air i don't want the middle class taking the brunt of the spending cuts and all the different programs that wind up hurting the middle class. cenk on air you got to go to the local level, the state level and we have to fight hard to make sure they can't buy our politics anymore. cenk off air and they can question if i'm right about that. but i think the audience gets that, i actually mean it. cenk on air 3 trillion dollars in spending cuts! narrator uniquely progressive and always topical the worlds largest online news show is on current tv. cenk off air and i think the audience gets, "this guys to best of his abilities is trying to look out for us." only on current tv!

>> you don't look like the kind of guy who does this. >> my wife thinks stephanie miller is too crazy for me. i'm going to prove her wrong. >> stephanie: welcome to "the stephanie miller show." this hour brought to you by carbonite. i've been reminding you how important it is to back up your computer files with carbonite. photos contacts, business documents, maybe you're working on a book, on a movie script, on a song, on a something. if you have not signed up carbonite online back-up, do it today. the back-up has an incredible offer. sign up for a subscription. you receive an additional six months free. >> remember that dick cheney lies thing we played earlier? you know how i found that in the archives? >> stephanie: carbonite. for your business, you can get 18 months for the price of 12.

carbonite backs up your computer files to the cloud whenever you're connected to the internet. don't have to remember to do anything. don't wait. keep your important computer files safe before it is too late. and your boss fires you for not being able to find the dick cheney lies montage. go to carbonite.com. type in stephanie for a free trial, no credit card required. plus, for a limited time you get six months free when you subscribe. that's carbonite.com. the offer code is stephanie. let's go to buddy in columbus. >> caller: until miss utah said it, i never knew how to describe your program. you figure out how to create more education. >> stephanie: right. i create edumacation better. i don't want to know who's fired. i want to know who's going to jail. do you think he's going to demand an investigation into issa selectively leaking these -- just parts of those transcripts? >> stephanie: maybe they still

have a cozy from his car thief days. >> i mean, all of the attention and everything on it, i want to see the media pay the attention to the fact that issa is a clown. >> stephanie: darryl, that would be my guess as to who should go to jail. just saying for misrepresenting testimony before congress. okay. >> i want someone to get me another drink because i don't want to go to jail. >> stephanie: okay. all right. >> i don't think the bar is open in jail. >> stephanie: before i get to my next hate letter, i want to know that some people are going to miss us. including audra. by the way because i've been spinning every day, getting ready for my vacation because i will be doing bike riding among other things, audra will miss me. at least somebody will. ♪ we wish you well ♪ ♪ wherever you are heading we know you have to go ♪

♪ we know you're going somewhere to ride your fancy bike ♪ ♪ you've been training for weeks now and it's time for steph to fly ♪ ♪ even though it kills us to go a week without ♪ >> stephanie: i know. be strong. ♪ you on radio or tv, we will survive so farewell ♪ ♪ we're gonna miss you ♪ ♪ miss you miss you ♪ ♪ farewell ♪ >> stephanie: all right bye-bye. ♪ we're all gonna miss you ♪ ♪ but we will survive ♪ >> stephanie: wow. now we can't leave for vacation without an overwrought vacation good-bye song from audra or without you playing vacation. >> that will be coming.

>> stephanie: remember that time you forgot and jim and i sat there for a week. we're like pavlov's dogs. we're like what? >> oh, now i can go. >> stephanie: another hate letter from dean. looks like he copied pretty much every liberal. rachel is on here. i'm sure she'll get right to this as well. dear friends okay, why shouldn't we americans know where obama was and what he was doing on the night of the benghazi talks on our consulate. >> was he in turkey? >> stephanie: aren't you interested in who gave the standdown order to stop rescue of our people that night? why has congress been denied speaking to the survivors there that night. they all testified. >> numerous times. >> stephanie: we also know now that the i.r.s. scandal targeted conservatives began with i.r.s. conspiracy in d.c. >> computer says no.

>> stephanie: everything he said before is a -- said so far is a lie. >> lies and cover-ups are the mode by this operation. i hear democrats decry the house, the vote to stop abortions after 20 weeks. what is wrong with you people? do you want more kermit gosnells to kill babies? [ buzzer ] okay. >> kermit goss nell was a monster. >> stephanie: murderer. how can you my liberal friends support the killing of babies after 20 wreaks. sincerely, dean. [ applause ] i do think he probably is sincere. he's sincerely dopey. okay. for instance, this guy. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] he's on this guy's side. representative michael burgess republican of texas. the look on rachel's face was priceless. the guy with the masturbating --

tiny male baby -- representative michael burgess republican texas, that guy we talked about who believes abortion should be banned earlier than the supreme court says because he knows fetuses feel pain. he knows this because he's seen male fetuses begin masturbating in the womb around 15 weeks of pregnancy. >> oh, my god. >> stephanie: he says, if a male baby has their hand between their legs, if they can feel pleasure is it so hard to -- could be floating in fluid and your limbs could -- okay. >> but he interpreted it to be -- of course, as you do. >> stephanie: where do you find good porn down there at that age? although, i guess it is porn because you're literally inside a woman. so this member -- >> member? >> stephanie: member. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] of congress. the atlanta wire writing this

member of the u.s. congress has said on the congressional record that male fetuses at 15 weeks in the development are consciously touching their tiny fetal penises to give themselves pleasure. >> rubbing one out. >> stephanie: as it were. according to the g.o.p. doctor's caucus web site, he practiced as a ob/gyn. 20 years of tiny masturbating fetuses. that guy is leading the debate. [ applause ] on their side. >> wow. >> stephanie: okay. all right. >> really nothing. >> stephanie: john boehner. speaking of which. totally unrelated story. john boehner says the abortion bill will not affect republicans popularity with women. oh really? >> of course not. >> because he knows what the chicks are thinking. >> despite recent controversy over g.o.p. sponsored ban on abortion the bill will not

affect his party's relationship with women. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] extremely popular across gender lines. >> not really. >> the cames love me. >> stephanie: boehner replied no, it won't turn off women voters. after this kermit gosnell trial -- for the love of god really? has nothing do do with the abortion debates right. the vast majority of the american people believe in the substance of this bill. >> blah, blah, blah. >> stephanie: broad bipartisan majority. >> computer says no. >> stephanie: in fact, every democrat on the house judiciary committee voted against the bill and a republican congressman slammed him for bringing it up. he said the stupidity is staggering. representative charlie of pennsylvania said last week the house rules committee quietly inserted rape and incest exceptions to make the bill seem palatable despite the fact that the house had rejected those

exceptions. the whole rapey caucus. marsha blackburn, she was like magically -- the trent frank you know, he was replaced with marsha blackburn crystals magically while we weren't looking. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> she's as crazy as trent franks. >> maybe he got senator collins to -- wait a minute, it is a woman? >> she's in the senate. not the house. >> stephanie: i know. >> just saying. >> stephanie: she could do it. because they could do that and be in the house. >> stephanie: senator esmeralda could do whatever she wants. >> she could be in the house and senate at the same time. >> just wearing a wig in one or the other. >> a serena wig. >> stephanie: after many democrats complained an all male panel had advanced the bill, democrat of new york said she believes the g.o.p. is make blackburn the -- in order to appeal less hostile to women. that will work. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] >> a chick on your side. that changes everything.

>> stephanie: yes, they're the feminist party. alan west. women in combat will destroy the american warrior culture and allow more sexual assaults. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] >> because men just can't control themselves. at all. >> stephanie: former representative -- former representative alan west, republican of florida believes women have no place in elite military units. i guess he did not watch that demi moore movie. he said tuesday in a facebook post accusing president obama and defense department of enacting a policy change that did not take combat roles seriously enough. he said being in close quarters special operation combat is not a social gathering. reacting to the news that women will be able to start training as army rangers and navy seals there is no equality in close combat, the goal is simple. you physically overpower the enemy and kill them. don't tell me about technology. war is about fighting and fighting is about killing. man know a man know. >> maybe he should go into the ring with rhonda and see how he

does. >> stephanie: military officials believe -- >> you're just a chick. you can't -- ow! ow! ow! >> stephanie: little gal. >> crying like the wax vac guy. >> stephanie: who is that ali daughter? military officials believe expanding the role of women could help address the gorge of sexual assault in the military. the joint chief of staffs chairman said the sexual assaults might be linked to the outstanding ban on women because of the roles which create separate classes of personnel. the sexual assault problem is more complicated than that, he said the disparity has created a psychology that lends itself to disrespect women. west had a different take. >> of course. >> stephanie: suggesting putting women in combat roles would encourage such aggressive behavior because male would feel their warrior status was being compromised by their female counterparts.

>> so you attack your fellow soldier because -- >> does he think the troops are made up of nothing but children who can't control themselves? >> stephanie: he wrote and said it is obvious the secretary of defense is nothing more than a social eag altarian lackey and obama's yes boy. >> that's insulting. [ whatever! ] >> stephanie: okay. holes in his shirt still as he sits from the military -- from the shrapnel. by the way women have to pass the exact same tests. okay. 46 minutes after -- what is the demi moore movie i'm thinking of? >> "g.i. jane." rent it this weekend. surprised you didn't come up with "private benjamin" or something a little older. >> stephanie: proof women can serve. "wildcats" is a different movie. 46 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> i got her number off the

men's room stall! 1-800-steph-12

you've heard stephanie's views. >>no bs, authentic, the real thing. >>now, let's hear yours at the only online forum with a direct line to stephanie miller. >>the only thing that can save america now: current television. >>join the debate now. (vo) next on current tv, vanguard, the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. >> wherever the story is, we will go to get it. >> we dive deep into the topics that we cover. doesn't get any more real than this. (vo) and on the next vanguard >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) it is mexico's largest cash crop, and as it heads north onto american soil, current tv follows the money. >> this industry is just huge.

♪ somebody turn on stephanie miller ♪ ♪ we're going to have a party it's starting tonight ♪ ♪ oh, what a feeling ♪ ♪ when we're dancin' on the ceiling ♪ >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 51 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. ken in fort worth on the immigration bill. hi ken. >> caller: good morning sexy liberals.

>> stephanie: hello. >> caller: my question comment is john boehner does not want to even bring up debate on the house floor unless he has the votes already. my comment is if you don't bring it up for debate, how can change someone's mind? especially since they won't go to each other's offices to discuss it. >> stephanie: right. >> caller: if you don't bring it up for debate, how can you change someone's mind? >> stephanie: that's right. thank you. if that were -- a radio tape, i would have had to edit, there were too many pauses. >> break out your china marker and razor blade. >> stephanie: his point is well-taken. >> well-taken. however. >> stephanie: too many pauses. gayle in sacramento.

you're on the "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: hi, it's gayle, your gas passer. >> stephanie: hi. how are you? >> caller: fine. let's talk about fetuses that does not masturbate. my husband and i ran a family planning clinic. literally have seen thousands of developing fetuses. the governance of probes that talked about this which is the new name for the g.o.p., fetuses touch everything. their noses their umbilical cords, their toes, other fetuses. >> stephanie: you mean to imply they're not consciously masturbating? really? >> caller: correct, correct! and this has been witness for decades as long as we've had sonograms. this is not new. and it is quite fascinating how someone will make a subjective point of view. based on science and the pain and pleasure tracks in the spinal cord are on different levels. they're not carried by the same

fibers. >> stephanie: of all of the science we've seen from men in the republican caucus, gayle, it was almost like being hit with a stun gun of stupid, wasn't it? >> the body has a way of shutting that down. >> stephanie: right. with our magical who-has. it makes me feel more insecure about mine. i'm lacking in superpowers. >> lacking in secretions. >> stephanie: i was not good at masturbating in the womb. >> stephanie: i used to suck at it. i've gotten better. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] my point is -- practice, practice practice. >> apparently. >> stephanie: only way to get to carnegie hall. >> that's what it takes to carnegie hall? >> stephanie: reince priebus jim. >> reince priebus! >> stephanie: yeah, i was talking about this piece yesterday. >> dogs were a little late. >> stephanie: where were they?

give you a snausage if you get there on time when i say reince priebus. >> reince priebus! >> stephanie: we were talking about his speech to the faith and freedom coalition. there is just -- it is just a paltry little bunch on the right. tomasky says i love the way he started. i'm a christian. i'm a believer. god lives in my heart and i'm for changing minds not changing values. to be so kind as to be irresponsible. >> really? wow. >> stephanie: tomasky goes right to the point. he wants to change other people's minds about the g.o.p. he doesn't want to change values. doing those things simultaneously is impossible. modernizing the position on which the g.o.p. needs to change its rage against most black people. latino people, gay people and so on requires changing values, going from having terrible and mean-spirited to having decent ones. conservative reformers and some others seem to think he can

broaden the appeal without having a painful conversation but he and they cannot. i like the line about the next cycle's primary debates. we need to control the moderators. even the crowds pleased reactions tell us something important. they ate up the message of the last third of priebus' speech because it said they could stop alienating americans with just a few procedural fixes. so close to perfect. [ applause ] >> stephanie: all good to go. >> same bad ideas. >> stephanie: right. >> steph would be good at that. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: karen in florida, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi karen. >> caller: makes me so proud to be a german-american. i work -- i volunteer for patrick murphy and i just want to talk about alan west. first of all he got a less than honorable discharge from the military. >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: he's not authorized

as a less than honorable discharge to wear the military garb on his clothing which he does anyway in violation of the law so he really should shut up about anything that has to do with the military. >> stephanie: yep. exactly. good points. thank you. stacy in l.a. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi stacy. >> caller: good morning, mama. you're holding out on me. are you going to make the announcement about the sexy liberal in l.a. before you go on vacation? >> stephanie: we don't know where it's going to be or when. >> sure! >> caller: anyway, i just want to make the point that the observation that do you think marsha blackburn to soften women's approach will have a great effect seeing as she voted against equal pay and against the violence against women act. i actually wrote her a letter. she's willing to give up 1/3 of her salary because women earn 70 cents on the dollar for what men earn. one thing in defense of john boehner because we beat him up all the time. he is an excellent source of

beta carotene. >> stephanie: see what you did there? [ ♪ circus ♪ ] that's funny. thank you, honey. marsha blackburn women don't want equal pay. that's ridiculous! all right. by the way, we have lots to get to. hump days with sexy liberal hal sparks. a lot of people talking about melissa etheridge's comments about angelina jolie. i sense she's seen -- the official rock star of "the stephanie miller show." a lot of controversy about that. we'll talk about that with hal sparks and much more as we continue on "the stephanie miller show."

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[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: all right, hour number three. bff jacki schechner, i feel like it's your birthday and the chippendale's stripper is late. i'm so sorry. your eye candy is on his way up, hal sparks. >> can i eat the cake anyway? >> stephanie: yes, you can go ahead and jacki schechner will be baby-sitting next week live in studio here in captain america's underpants with hal sparks. >> i will be off on monday so nobody panic. and then i'll be back the rest of the week with hal. >> stephanie: all right. exactly. don't forget pot roast in the freezer this time. >> can i have a popsicle? >> stephanie: one popsicle a piece if you're good. don't get all hopped up in sugar. don't want to find you in a sugar coma when we get back. no crunch berries. all right. here she is. jacki schechner, we love her in the current news center.

>> love you, too. good morning everybody. think progress reporting that alaska senator lisa murkowski has come out in support of marriage equality. making her now the third republican senator to do so. the first rob portman of ohio and then mark kirk of illinois. according to a "huffington post" followup senator murkowski says her decision to support same-sex marriage comes after spending time with a gay couple with four adopted children. murkowski laid the ground work for the declaration back in march when she said at the time that her stance on gay marriage was evolving. the timing on this likely not such an accident. the supreme court's going to rule on the constitutionality of the defense of marriage act and california's prop 8 before the end of this month. meanwhile president obama gave a speech at the brandenburg gate in berlin this morning one week shy of the 50th anniversary of president kennedy's speech in which he famously said -- the famous address covered a range of topics including a call for

reducing the world's stockpile of nuclear weapons. >> obama: after a comprehensive review, i determine that we can ensure the security of america and our allies and maintain a strong incredible strategic deterrent while losing our deployed strategic nuclear weapons by up to 1/3. i intend to seek negotiated cuts with russia to move beyond cold war nuclear postures. >> the new stark treaty ratified by the u.s. senate in december of 2010 put our current limit of nuclear weapons at 1,550 so reducing that by a third means both sides would have between 1,000 and 1100 still. other things that he talked about in the speech including rights for same-sex couples and making some bold moves when it comes to climate change. we're back with more show after the break. (vo) next, current tv is the place for compelling true stories. >> jack, how old are you? >> nine. >> this is what 27 tons of

marijuana looks like. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines, way inside. (vo) from the underworld, to the world of privilege. >> everyone in michael jackson's life was out to use him. (vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current. >> if you believe in state's rights but still support the drug war you must be high. >> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> do you think that there is any chance we'll see this president even say the words "carbon tax"? >> with an open mind... >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> ...and a distinctly satirical point of view. >> but you mentioned "great leadership" so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. >> (laughter). >> watch the show. >> only on current tv.

this show is about analyzing criticizing, and holding policy

to the fire. are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night? is this personal, or is it political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i'm given to doing anyway, by staying in touch with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. in reality it's not like they actually care. this is purely about political grandstanding. i've worn lotsways kept this going. i've been doing politics now for a dozen years. (vo) he's been called the epic politics man. he's michael shure and his arena is the war room. >> these republicans in congress that think the world ends at the atlantic ocean border and pacific ocean border. the bloggers and the people that are sort of compiling the best of the day. i do a lot of looking at those people as well. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people, but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care about them right?

♪ it's a beautiful day ♪ don't let it get away ♪ >> stephanie: it is the "the stephanie miller show." six minutes after the hour. it is a beautiful day because guess who the obamas had lunch with. bono in ireland. the chef there said they were lovely, friendly people. all three of them. all three requested fish and chips while mrs. obama chose the lobster starter. that will be a whole new cycle on fox news as to how uppity she is. lobster. who does she think she is? the taxpayers. all right. hey, look who's here! >> stephy. >> stephanie: what's that heavy breathing i hear? could it be? ♪ the humpty dance ♪ >> the guy from lab rats.

>> yes, yes! >> stephanie: guess who brought the lab rats poster for mel melissa fitzgerald's nephew? omg. >> i was almost late today because i left the white house without it and i had to turn around. >> stephanie: hi. >> hi. i think -- in ireland lobster. that's what i have. >> a lobster starter. >> stephanie: why is there a lobster -- lobster not strong finishers. >> they start well. >> stephanie: they're not closers. >> they get a set of steak knives. >> i don't really care. they're bottom feeders to me. they're sea bugs which i don't have a problem with. >> stephanie: probably not a good insult. yeah so. they're a bottom feeder. >> cousins to cockroaches.

>> why don't we just eat cockroaches? >> stephanie: mike writes steph, i feel the same way about edward snowden that i do about rod stewart. he released way more material than was helpful. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] that's the whole story. >> hal: to some degree, snowden's continual release of material almost as a dump of info is softening the impact of what he initially did in taking the entire attention off the valuable parts of what he was doing and the unfortunate part is he keeps -- >> stephanie: why are you undermining with us allies if you're trying to say you're trying to fight for americans. did you see father yesterday? he was like edward, that's enough now. okay! all right. >> zip it. zip it good! >> stephanie: stuff about russia. i'm not kidding now. oh, okay! >> when a problem comes along be you must zip it. >> zip it good! yeah. it's interesting that basically

just is -- >> at a certain point you move from oh, my god maybe this is a huge overreaching program that's grabbing the information of americans and going against -- it is grabbing everybody's information. everybody is grabbing everybody's information. china and essential land is grabbing -- and england is grabbing everybody's information. >> stephanie: this woman was saying with him talking about the nsa gathering information on foreigners. that's what they do. >> hal: they exist to do. i got news for you. there's a lot of strategic interest the united states has. and not our allies. >> stephanie: national security administration is gathering information? >> not everyone would consider an ally is always on board. pakistan. so the idea that somehow -- we were spying on our allies. we're also technically bombing inside our ally's country with agreement in the case of pakistan, for example.

they're technically an ally. that's really the rough part. and like i said, the more he does it, the more it sounds like he's talking about spying as if it is something you should clutch the pearls over, you know. what are you telling me that there is a scottish man pretending to be british working for mi-6 who is sleeping with women all over this globe and has a pen that shoots dust darts to make you sleep? >> stephanie: whatever, jason bourne. there is going to be murder. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] they'll murder me. for god's sake, really? >> like alex jones on the british tv show where he goes if they have all of this information and you know all of this stuff and you're going to release all of this information why are you still alive? if they're making people dis appear, wouldn't you be first? how is that you have evaded capture? >> waiting for ply guard to be down. >> stephanie: fellow happy clappy fellow obama apologist

we read our hate mail already this morning. here we go again. like so and so is not the right kind of liberal. you agree with al franken on this. we're allowed to have diverging opinions on certain -- subjects. >> my favorite part of this whole thing is that we need open hearings on the secret workings of the nsa. no, we don't. we need representatives we can trust so the problem is when you elect like these tea party psychopaths and everything like frees the border, spy on everybody kind of thing. you've got this -- kind of bush administration holdover about seek cresse and -- about secrecy and spying, they're going to shrug off stuff the vast majority of the american public would go wait a minute, that shouldn't be in there. by the time you get up the administrative chain you're just defending the whole program. when programs in it should have been removed.

should have been be stopped. but not all of it. the idea that we're going to go -- i mean go watch "mission impossible," the whole thing is about the nock list getting out. every spy in the world. where are these people? what are they doing? [ explosion ] at a certain point al franken, what they're saying is that the release of valerie plame's information and the release that -- what the nsa program might be oversifting, you know, grabbing like meta data is the same thing and it's not. we should release all of it. and it isn't. that's -- i think that's why you have al franken and people coming out going wait a second. we should go after the parts that don't work. we should repeal chunks of the patriot act and create new laws that are more easily administered. easily monitored. >> stephanie: but we elected a president and a congress.

we have a supreme court. not this guy. it is up to him to decide you know, what should be release and what shouldn't. i think that's what -- that's what i'm saying. you can have some opinions. people are like stop attacking him. i'm not attacking him. somebody said isn't it possible he can be a hero and a traitor i guess. >> that's the thing. if anything, there's two conversations i hope come from this. one is the patriot act's gotta go. we've got to do -- there are programs that can be -- that have already existed in intelligence that cross bridge that was built between intelligence that needs to be maintained can actually stay there. that's great but the rest of it can go. if you want other parts of it, litigate them. litigate the existence of the constitutionality of them and then the programs themselves can be built. secondly why do government contractors have higher paychecks -- >> stephanie: access to our national security. >> and they take no oath. there's no guarantee.

they've got -- they have clearance but that's it. >> stephanie: i took on oath to booze allen. -- to booz allen. >> obama: you can characterize this as a new policy. this is consistent with the policy that i've had throughout. >> stephanie: i was saying -- i was saying bill maher read this story last week. reading through the story nsa mayes data gathering from 2006. panel, your move. >> there's nothing new here. >> hal: like i said, if you have a concern about that, it is legitimate but it needs to be done in the context of the law that is passed and sitting there like this -- people were -- >> hanging over our heads. yes. what a reference. well done. >> damn you. >> stephanie: i was reading a former nsa guy was saying he said a quarter of what snowden said, you know, is true. he said but that's the most

dangerous kind of half truth because it doesn't -- you know, he said he doesn't know what he's talking about in terms of the big picture. >> also, a quarter of what darrell issa said is true if you don't read the other stuff. >> stephanie: that's his lifetime average. >> that's what i mean. in generic terms like $50 on pump number two. that's included in there. in darrell issa's average. >> stephanie: glenda in ohio. you're on with hal. hi glenda. >> caller: hi, how you doing? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: i really enjoy your show. every day. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: my husband tunes it in. you're a lovely lady. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: i compliment your parents for that. anyways -- >> stephanie: my mother is hugely disappointed but okay. >> caller: here in ohio, i pray that we're smarter than the people in the south. because we know that portman knew for two years that his son was gay. yet he did not reverse his

position until it comes up close to the time that the jackasses are supposed to vote for him. >> stephanie: political winds meet wet finger. >> caller: in the south they'll re-elect those people that change their positions in the south because they can forgive anything in the south except being black. >> stephanie: yeah. >> hal: gay is right up there. you can be david vitter. you can wear a diaper and get caught with a hooker at the same time. >> stephanie: but not another dude. that would be gross. >> but it was a female prostitute. and you were a male wearing a diaper. not weird at all. >> stephanie: jacki said murkowski has announced -- republican senator from alaska has announced her support of gay marriage. >> odd thing about portman was

he was on a bullet train to being romney's vice president. and basically, you can take from the fact that he came out in support of equality because of his son. it is not like -- he knew for a couple of years therefore he knew during the vetting process. and they knew during the vetting process. i guarantee -- i can't have gays. i'm running for office. that had to be part of the reasoning. >> stephanie: senator mark kirk. that's the other one. people on tv, hold up the cue sheet. not like i just came up with that. >> i'm a producer. i produce. >> stephanie: see, that's what i hate about tv. i used to appear a little bit smarter. like i just thought of it. now you hold up -- hey dummy mark kirk. >> holds a big piece of blue paper. james lipton holds a little blue card. what's the difference? size. >> stephanie: blue. >> mine is bigger. >> there you go. your blue notes are bigger than james lipton's blue notes.

>> that's exactly right. >> in the realm of blue things -- >> stephanie: 18 minutes after the hour. >> what shade of blue? >> stephanie: right back on -- wow, this is just getting weird. >> wait until we come back and i explain the i.r.s. scandal! i figured it out. sorry it took mow so long. >> stephanie: hump days with hal sparks. >> as it turns out the revolution lnt -- will not be televised. it is on "the stephanie miller show."

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(vo)the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. (vo) and on the next vanguard >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) follow mexico's largest cash crop as it heads north onto american soil.

♪ hot legs ♪ ♪ you can scream and shout ♪ ♪ i love you ♪ >> rod stewart material. >> stephanie: right. way too much. >> that was the good stuff. >> stephanie: somebody get the stomach pump. >> easy. >> really? >> not true. >> stephanie: 1-800-steph-12. >> i think it was david bowie. >> stephanie: that was the gerb -- gerbil. hal, explain the i.r.s. scandal to us. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] >> i'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. i was clouded by the obvious lie front coming out of darrell issa's committee and why it was just kind of a standard. i believed it was a standard kind of witch-hunt they found a little bit of red meat they could turn into a million gallons of hamburger helper. >> turns out it was pig slime. >> it was. >> hal: i think it is an example of not only is it not

the president or the administration involved or democratic administration involved, i think it is just plain old republican on republican crime. i take you back to american crossroads conservative victory project which karl rove put in place to stop tea party candidates because they were ruining the chances of them getting national election and these daft prone candidates -- >> stephanie: the rapey republicans -- >> were making a lot of ground. there was an entire group of republicans who went we have to put a stop to this. the gaming ground of the tea party movement is ruining our chance of ever winning a national election again. and it is horrifying. who was in charge of the i.r.s. during all of this? >> stephanie: a conservative republican. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] >> hal: exactly. a man who refers to himself as a conservative republican. it is my belief that this guy

was actually acting on behalf of the republican party. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] he thought he was doing good by stopping the obviously political -- within the confines -- within the scope of his job. he has the absolute right to scrutinize organizations that are clearly obviously political. everybody who had tea party were attacked. it was by a republican, under a republican -- >> stephanie: that a spectacular theory. >> thanks. because i think it is legitimate. i really do think that's how it wagged out because these guys are worried about their political future. really badly. the march -- there were 2,000 more of these organizations popping up during that election cycle and they were panicking. i mean how many came through that were straight up regular super pacs? >> stephanie: hilarious if hal parks is proven right. >> hal: i have to back that up, all of the transcripts that were released by darrell issa,

not the censored chunks that he was tossing out. red meat. but the actual transcripts. >> stephanie: thank you elijah cummings. >> just saying. >> stephanie: nicely done, sir. christine in cleveland you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi christine. >> caller: good morning, all. spoiler alert. men don't have vaginas. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] well, this whole thing with marsha blackburn and the whole issue with this abortion bill. >> stephanie: by the way, who would be born female by the way if you had a penis, you could start masturbating in the womb. i mean really. >> how does that become a gender-based ability? that's really odd. >> stephanie: why has he never seen a female fetus masturbating? >> is that child porn? is he downloading child porn? is it a fetus? >> caller: i can't help but think that that's kind of

pornographic. >> it is super creepy. >> caller: it's creepy. the whole issue of this bill being brought up again and again. it is like the repeal of the affordable care act but 40 years ago, the supreme court of the united states affirmed, you know, that a woman's constitutional right to privacy includes the right to choice. and this bill is a direct challenge, you know, to roe v. wade and it shows contempt. pretty much shows contempt. >> hal: you did make us eat the apple. i would like to let you off the hook. >> stephanie: republican congressman is right about the tiny masturbating fetuses if sandusky asks for sonograms. just saying. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> stephanie: whatever kind of material you got in here? sonograms? >> got any sonograms? >> hal: suddenly, i've been overwhelmed with this desire to support the life of the unborn.

thanks jerry. >> stephanie: okay. >> need a lot of internet access for that. >> stephanie: bobby in tennessee for hal from kentucky. >> caller: hello stephanie. first time i've managed to get through. >> hal: congratulations. >> caller: i hate that i'm calling because i was highly offended at what that lady from ohio said. i'm from east tennessee. i'm very liberal. i have a gay son that i love and support and his partner is a half black man. now, you cannot lump us all into one group. we may be outnumbered but we're not all prejudice and we're not all bigots. >> hal: that is absolutely true. but the rarity of it unfortunately makes mass generalizations fit a lot better. that's the unfortunate part. you know, there are so many people like yourself that are -- and it is growing. that's a shift that's actually happening. i have family in the tennessee valley. i have family on just the other side in dry counties in

kentucky. >> stephanie: you should go see hal's comedy routine about how they walk. >> yeah. but i would say that you don't help her -- you know, like i guess dismiss her argument by saying half black. i would use the term mixed race. that might help. [ laughter ] just saying. i get -- i really appreciate where you're coming from. use the term mixed race. that would help. >> stephanie: all right. as we evolve. 29 minutes after the hour. right back. more hump days with hal on "the stephanie miller show." compelling true stories. >> jack, how old are you? >> nine. >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines, way inside.

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>> if you believe in state's rights but still support the drug war you must be high. >> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> do you think that there is any chance we'll see this president even say the words "carbon tax"? >> with an open mind... >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> ...and a distinctly satirical point of view.

>> but you mentioned "great leadership" so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. >> (laughter). >> watch the show. >> only on current tv. (vo) next on current tv, vanguard, the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. >> wherever the story is, we will go to get it. >> we dive deep into the topics that we cover. doesn't get any more real than this. (vo) and on the next vanguard >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) it is mexico's largest cash crop, and as it heads north onto american soil, current tv follows the money. >> this industry is just huge.

>> stephanie miller. >> radio contact is sufficient. no need to extend your middle finger. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." hump days with hal sparks. hal will be filling in for us all next week while we're on vacation. >> so true. >> stephanie: this weekend. >> i'm at johnny dee's in somerville maryland -- sorry massachusetts. right outside of boston. the treehouse comedy clubs which are spread all over the state of connecticut. so like in trumbull, connecticut mohegan sun casino friday and saturday. i'm all over the east coast. >> stephanie: covering the entire seaboard. >> hal: follow me on twitter for all of the information if you're in massachusetts or connecticut, get in your car and drive through the woods to see me. >> stephanie: it looks like --

chris, what are we hearing the latest? prop 8 and doma rulings will come down when? >> possibly tomorrow if not tomorrow then monday. >> stephanie: okay. >> while i'm on the air filling in for you which is how it always works out because every time you go on vacation -- >> we're hoping tomorrow. >> stephanie: no offense. >> that's okay. i hope for you, as well. i think it would be a beautiful thing if you both got to discuss it. i would hate for this to be the straight guy gets to discuss gay marriage and the gay people are away. it is a little too republican white man discussing vagina issues. >> stephanie: thank you. thank you. appreciate it. >> not that i'm not capable of doing it. i think i have a little more qualifying -- qualifiers and standing. >> you've had gay sex on camera. >> i've simulated it. >> but to the viewer, they thought it was real. >> i've had teen gay sex which is just the rubbing part. before you -- dry humping. >> stephanie: i simulated great sex in high school. >> on your way back from band

camp. it might look like it from a distance but when you get up close, you're like we still have our pants on. >> stephanie: i did that in high school. to the soundtrack many times. [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] hal, the fight over legalizing gay marriage in california may go back to the ballot box in 2014. california voters asked once again to settle the matter. the experts, i don't know what you think. experts are saying that court is unlikely to proclaim a national right to marriage equality. >> hal: yeah. they won't put that over on -- it is too broad a thing for them to fix totally. but i will say that -- i think the dumbest solution you can come up with for hey we made the mistake of putting individual human rights up for a vote the majority last time is to do it again. the reality is people are either protected and deserve equal protection under the law or they

are not. and if you don't believe -- that this -- that that's the kind of country we live in, there are tons of theocratic countries and homophobic countries like russia and iran and syria that all are very happy to house your anti-gay government legislated anti-gay thought. if you want to pass a law simply because gay people make you feel icky, you might have to have a conversation, you think it is a moral behavior, then at some point, you want the government policing your religious beliefs and that's not what it's for. >> right. >> stephanie: exactly. by the way -- >> should live in afghanistan. >> stephanie: there you go. good luck. good-bye. >> no gay marriage there. there never will be. >> stephanie: i shall come help you pack for uganda. somalia is nice this time of year. rand paul could do eye surgery without regulations at all where some people may want to be

operated on with a rusty spoon. >> there's no law that you can't. >> stephanie: that's right. >> no hand to big government there. >> just pop the eye out with the rusty spoon. >> insert it by yourself. >> that will be $1 billion. >> $1 billion. >> stephanie: so, hal everybody's talking about melissa etheridge's comments about angelina jolie. >> did you hear about this? >> hal: i did not. >> stephanie: i smell team jen. interesting. the official rock star of "the stephanie miller show," angelina jolie's decision to get a double mastectomy after learning she had the breast cancer gene mutation has been lauded by others as heroic. melissa etheridge things is opposite. she said she wouldn't make the same decision for herself or others without properly researching their options. i feel differently. i have that gene mutation, too. it is not something i would

believe in for myself. i wouldn't call it the brave choice. i think it is the most fearful choice when confronting anything with cancer. my belief is cancer comes from inside you and so much of it has to do with the environment of your body. it is stress that will turn the gene on or not. plenty of people have the gene mutation but it never comes to cancer. noting that the surgical removal of one's breast is way down the line of spectrum of what you can do to lessen risk of the disease. she said i've been cancer free for nine years. i can understand. there was so much acidity in everything. i encourage people to go a lot longer and further before coming to that conclusion. >> she kind of saying that sitting back with some chamomile tea and relaxing -- >> stephanie: i don't think she's saying that but this is a tough one don't you think hal? i think that angelina jolie made the choice she wanted to make for herself. >> hal: right. i think that's the issue is that the mystery around cancer and our inability to kind of compartmentalize it into a single source disease like we like to do in the medical

establishment in this country leaves it open for all kinds of responses to it. in this country and thanks to the obamacare that might be less and less, cancer diagnosis is the guarantee of bankruptcy for most people. especially if it's beyond you know small incidence of breast cancer. everything else that will wipe you out. so the stress level on it is so high, before you even get to the medical possibilities, will it kill me? will i be able to fight back against it? >> stephanie: that was one of the reasons -- that was one of the things angelina jolie says. she recognizes some people may not have the financial wherewithal. she wants to get mother of the education out there. i think it was a little out of line for melissa etheridge to judge her choice as fearful and not brave. that's the point is everybody should have the information that they -- all of the information out there then make their own

choice. to judge people's choice of brave or fearful -- >> hal: i do think this -- that when somebody as high profile as angelina jolie has both breasts removed out of fear that a gene will produce cancer, the thought might be from melissa's point of view that that might cause an overreaction in other people who have this gene and are automatically going oh, my god, is that my only solution to keep from dying from cancer. she may have been answering that part of it. there is a breadth of thought in this that's not simple. so people should consult with their doctor but they should also look at the lifestyle points. this is where she brings it up. the lifestyle editions to genetic predisposition for cancer which all of us have in some capacity down the line which behavioral patterns -- >> better to be more alkaline than acidic. >> more acidic blood p.

had will raise your chances of having a myriad of diseases. mitigating that factor which is why meditation has been shown to lower that. that's where she's going. >> it is a factor but it won't prevent you from getting cancer. >> stephanie: you saw her mother and her aunt died of the same mutation. i'm saying i think everybody's calculus is different. >> i agree. i think what i would say to chris is it is the same -- same is true of say smoking, it is not a guarantee you will get cancer but the vast -- majority of people will be helped by not smoking and changing their lifestyle and attitude and their diet. >> stephanie: epidemiologists will tell you smoking is the number one thing that causes cancer. >> but it is not a guarantee you will get cancer nor is it -- >> but you can't make your medical decisions based on that fact. i'm not going to meditate because some people meditate and get cancer and i'm not going to stop smoking because i have a 98-year-old grandma who smoked. >> i know a guy who meditate who

had got hit by a truck. >> don't meditate in the street. >> exactly. >> hal: in a bus lane. all about location, location, location. big rule of meditation. >> stephanie: the 405 no. >> computer says no. >> hal: the 405 is so slow, you probably could. >> stephanie: for hours. >> north of the 10. >> just go around you. another meditator. >> stephanie: someone moving three miles an hour might tap you. >> hey, might tap you. easy. sure. >> stephanie: my point is you're right. you have to allow for individual choice and i personally, the holistic stuff i think is mostly hooey. i kind of call bull [ bleep ] on most of it. would you like some -- sacro cranial rebalancing. [ whatever! ] >> that stuff is crap.

>> that's like going you know, phrenology buddhism, all of that stuff is wacky. >> it is outside of my -- coming from the woman whose blood alcohol content is like 80% grapes. >> stephanie: 97% chardonnay. little oaky. >> has mystery illnesses. i don't know why my limbs stopped moving. i mean, yeah. >> stephanie: i beg your pardon. my last test had a nice finish. a little oaky. >> hal: pour wine on a cut. that's your medical background on it. get it in there. >> stephanie: i beg your pardon. i hardly ever get sick. i can show. >> stack of wine-related studies. how often can i find those studies? >> it is interesting they say that ver trol, the anti-aging chemical found in red wine grapes which i take as a supplement myself, but i take it as a supplement --

>> stephanie: just have a drink. >> you have to drink 10,000 -- that's what i mean. you've got enough of it in your system because you're actually consuming enough wine to meet the standard. the rest of us humans cannot. >> stephanie: 45 minutes. that man needs a drink to kill the bug up his ass. >> i think that's hooey but that's just me. >> stephanie: right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> red, white and steph. it's "the stephanie miller show." >> the impact of phillip morris in indonesia is devastating. >> hard news, no agenda. this is "vanguard". next, only on current tv.

(vo) next on current tv, vanguard, the documentary series that raised the bar for excellence. >> wherever the story is, we will go to get it. >> we dive deep into the topics that we cover. doesn't get any more real than this. (vo) and on the next vanguard >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) it is mexico's largest cash crop, and as it heads north onto american soil, current tv follows the money.

>> this industry is just huge. (vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. (vo) she's joy behar. >>current will let me say anything.

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all right. hey, jim look! [ ♪ "nbc nightly news" ♪ ] this confirms your theory that russell brand is kind of a -- >> kind of a what? >> not a fan. we're not a fan. >> okay. >> right word, i can't say on the radio. >> stephanie: katy perry -- she says initially she blamed herself for their break-up until she found out the real truth which she cannot necessarily disclose. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] i can think of the wild guesses. she also opened up about her on-again, off-again relationship with john mayer saying she was in love with him. he has a beautiful mind and a tortured soul and a white supremacist [ bleep ] which might have been a little too chatty. >> her body is a wonderland. >> he sang about her before he met her.

>> body is a wonderland. >> i parent he wrote that song according to his twitter feed, naked with his guitar in front of him in front of a mirror. he writes all of his songs on stage that way. maybe it was just about himself. >> i hope he didn't write daughters like that. >> stephanie: we've been talking about technology, hal. tech guy. about the nsa and all of that. rihanna, a man was arrested for tiptoeing around her roof the other night. he said he did not know it was rihanna's house but the cops say he had a google map of the area. >> was it tiny tim? >> stephanie: google maps. little creepy. >> yeah. >> stephanie: look at this. internet connected cars. seriously cool. serious threat to privacy. internet-connected cars, wave of the future. mercedes-benz, lincoln have some version of g4 connection. they're saying the trend isn't about hooking up your tablet, it is the move toward self-driving cars. yikes.

concerted effort to get cars to talk to other cars. >> then you could text all you want. >> stephanie: they want google maps in every car and for the car to be directly connected to google. >> what could possibly go wrong? >> this could have cars drive themselves. they could be a foot apart from each other. reduce congestion. >> google did this big study. dod has been working on this. everybody has been working on different ways to make autonomous cars that can actually sense collision. of all of the studies the overwhelming commonality was that -- what's the big thing you took away from the study on automating cars and that kind of stuff. he said humans have no business driving. statistically speaking, they were able to -- to fix most of the -- especially the fatal crash and incidental crashes through minor adjustments in the ability of a car to sense somebody coming close and move a little bit. >> why do you even need a car

then? why not high-speed rail? >> hal: it is called a train people! at a certain point -- and if you're going to tie a car to the internet, it should be about you know, displaying information, mapping and that kind of stuff as opposed to sort of this generic control over it, you know. there's got tab a kill switch on that thing. switch to manual. i'm sorry i can't do that. >> sorry, dave, i can't do that. >> stephanie: jennifer in fresno, you're on with hal. >> caller: how are you? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: i'm actually continuing on what christine was talking about with cap'n carrot and his friends in congress. >> stephanie: boehner. captain carrot. >> caller: what bothers me is they're so into restricting women's choice but once that baby is there they don't want anything to do with it. republican steve stockman from texas is talking about how they want to cut the snap benefits and he's saying that this is a publicity stunt by democrats

intended to make it appear like they're cutting things when we're deliberately overspending. seriously? >> stephanie: yeah. >> that's what we did. >> stephanie: love the fetus hate the child. 55 after. >> we're trying to raise the poverty level to a genuine expression of what it is like to live impoverished in this country and to be able to feed you and your family. >> interest rate on student loans will go through the roof. >> republicans think that's an artificial inflation to make them look bad. >> stephanie: yeah right. >> how self-involved can you be? >> stephanie: danette in portland oregon. >> caller: hi, stephanie. i know there's not much time. love you all. i wanted to expand on what hal was saying on the i.r.s. scandal for republicans. i believe he's right. totally. i'm a 20-year tax professional. the big scandal is that they looked at these groups. they gave them the text designation of the 5034c and now all of the people who donate to the tea party can write that off

on their taxes in full. where if you're donated to a political, making a political contribution, you can only write off $100. if you're making a charitable contribution, you can write off as much as you want. >> absolutely. >> that's what these people are doing. >> that's what we're trying to do. this astroturf movement. i think this i.r.s. conservative republican was right in line with sort of the rove bush crap. >> stephanie: someone said karl rove plan. now i get what you're saying. karl rove and the tea party are at odds. >> conservative victory project was put in place to stop tea party candidates. and stop the tea party movement. and this sounds right in line with that. and it's -- that's why -- by the way, they knew about this before the election. darrell issa was aware of what was going on. they were all aware of it before the election. they just knew they needed it. they were actually using it

before the election. they were hoping it would hamstring some of the people who were going to be up for election at that point. it was actually helping them stop tea partiers. now that it's past that point obama got back in, they're like we'll use it as a weapon against them as long as we can trickle out the info. >> stephanie: karl in vegas on the tea party. >> caller: how are you today? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: i have a problem with people calling these little religious group tea partiers. what i calls called them is that they're constitutionalists. their plan is to overthrow the government, burn the constitution and the bill of rights, replace it with the ten commandments and the holy bible and enforce that. that's their whole plan. don't these people take an oath to uphold the constitution? >> hal: yeah but they interpret the constitution as the same way they hand out i.r.s. transcripts. in pieces to support.

>> stephanie: to make them look good. >> hal: to support whatever belief system they want to have or show. >> second amendment is the whole constitution. >> hal: first of all look at the first amendment and look at the first commandment. they are absolutely at odds. the first amendment makes unconstitutional the first commandment. thou shall not have any other gods before me. freedom of religion. that's an exact erasing of the first commandment. >> stephanie: chew on that all day. >> until monday. >> stephanie: you don't get packing material here. you'll get that full time. >> no filler. >> stephanie: yeah, bam! thank you hal. love you. see you tomorrow on "the stephanie miller show."

ç] i'm jacki schechner. it is noon eastern. and here's what's current.

president obama is in germany today. he arrived last night and today met with president at the bellevue palace in berlin. he held a joint press conference with chancellor angela merkel in which he discussed the upcoming negotiations on a new trans-atlantic trade agreement. winding down the war in afghanistan and finding a way forward with regard to syria. he also jumped in on a question posed to merkel about the recently publicized nsa surveillance tactics. >> obama: this is a circumstance up scribed narrow system, directed at us being able to protect our people. and all of it is done under the oversight of the courts.