[ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> hello tv world u we have will mccormick of ""will & grace"." and jacki schechner. >> can you tell jen her name came up over the weekend? >> yes, she did the hilarious line about the friends you call kids. i have stage seven cancer, hold on wait a minute, billy.

put that down. >> we were talking about people who talk to you on the phone and talk to their kids in the background. >> you know how jim mocks our fitness session? i was eating an apple and he he said he said, how are you going to burn off that apple. here she is, the current news center. >> good morning, everybody, the battles to restrict abortion continue in texas and former senator and former presidential candidate rick santorum is jumping into the fray. santorum will go to texas and hold a press conference in austin. his spokesman said he's joining those giving a voice to the unborn seriously and backing a bill that would ban abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy.

remember this is a state bill and rick santorum is from pennsylvania. anyway thousands of activists both anti-abortion and pro-choice have been swarming the capitol to weigh in on the bill. the state committee has determined to vote today. the bill is requesting that doctors have admitting privileges to hospitals and would effectively shut down abortion clinics to five in texas. a new law that bans doctors from performing abortion it is they don't have admitting privileges at hospitals. planned parenthood the of

wisconsin will said judges said there is no medical purpose. >> (laughter). >> she gets the comedians laughing. >> that's the best! >> that's hilarious. >> ... and the thinkers thinking. >> okay, so there is wiggle room in the ten commandments is what you're telling me. >> she's joy behar. >> ya, i consider you jew-talian. >> okay, whatever you want. >> who plays kafka? >> who saw kafka? >> who ever saw kafka? >> (laughter). >> asking the tough questions. wouldn't let one of your daughters go out with him. >> absolutely not. >> you would rather deal with ahmadinejad then me? >> absolutely! >> (singing) >> i take lipitor, thats it. >> are you improving your lips? >> (laughter). >> when she's talking, you never know where the conversation is going to go. >> it looks like anthony wiener is throwing his hat in the ring. >> his what in the ring? >> his hat. >> always outspoken, joy behar.

>> and the best part is that current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking? >> only on current tv.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] >> it is "the stephanie miller show," welcome to it. i got a tweet from god. >> oh? >> no, you cannot get what what, stop asking. >> are you promoting south carolina with your shirt? >> no, soul cycle.

it's the gym. >> where you're exercising to burn off that apple. >> right, we ran into each other in the parking structure. i normally take the stairs and he takes the elevator, but we were chatting with him so i took the elevator. he said how are you going to burn off that apple. am i apple fat already? >> mispaltrow in that jack black movie. >> yes. >> shallow hal." >> in the flabber cast. she had to way that fat suit. just because i know more than you, you don't to talk to me in that tone. eric mccormack coming up. >> who is not wearing a flabber cast. >> no, at the bottom of the hour. and marriage equality, and a lot of people have decided that ""will & grace"" is a turning point, and straight guy.

>> yes and he just might be canadian. >> yes, he is canadian. >> he's from toronto. >> another episode of" gay are canadian." no, it's called acting as it turns out. >> oh, pat robertson wants to strom glit we'll get to that. pat robertson urges you not to hit the light button. i would like a vomit button. do we have that? >> i'm not one who switches on likes and facebooks, but what you say, yes i like this kind of thing. you got a couple of same sex guys kissing well, that makes me want to throw up. but to me i would push vomit not "like." they don't give me that option

on facebook. >> that is part of my exercise routine punching vomit. >> on the facebooks? oh boy. ♪ you are an idiot ♪ >> what facebooks were you reading. >> that's like george bush internets. same sex guys, what does that mean? you see a couple of same sex guys. >> same sex guys. >> that is redundant. >> a couple of same sex guys. all right. >> i just think i'm going to vomit. >> facebook, get on that, get a vomit button for all the facebooks. >> that is a good idea, not for gays but other stuff. there i would specifically like not to like this thing. >> for the yahoo.

>> particularly for people who show off on facebook as they tend to, stop showing off vomit, splat. >> to a picture of two chicks. >> is there a lick button? [ laughing ] >> that spells like, well. >> is there a really like button. >> i like it a lot. >> all right charlie pierce, esquire.com and comedian jen kirkman from "chelsy lately." we did site her over over over the weekend who does not have children. that's jen's line. oh, i have stage seven cancer, oh billy put that down. there is no such thing as stage seven cancer, you're just trying to get your friend's attention.

>> it's always so much more funnier if you have to explain it. >> so much to get to. rick perry will not run for re-election of governor. oh no, say it's not so. it looks like he's setting up a presidential run despite how disastrous the last one was. >> wow. >> if you remember history. >> howdy from texas. this is governor rick perry and this is today's history lesson about the american revolution. ♪ in 1540 we took a trip ♪ on the mighty ♪ mississip. ♪ we fired our guns ♪ and the nazi kept coming ♪ that's how it all happen ♪ he road through the russians

♪ he rode through the germans ♪ he rode so fast ♪ he surrendered to ♪ benjamin franklin ♪ to win the alamo ♪ >> i forgot about that one. he'll get back in and michele bachmann will come back in. >> and marcus can become first lady. >> and then the election can go to the republican party just like it went last year. >> we could have a whole debate when paul revere was ringing them clang, clang, clang clang. michele bachmann is bring in fun facts ♪facts. [ whatever ] >> and bringing in history of all kind but doesn't remember

american history. >> i'm really excited about the future and challenges ahead. >> sure. >> like walking in a straight line. >> about injuring yourself would be a challenge for him. every day is a challenge. >> a. >> time has come to pass the hasn't. >> well, texas is and will remain a strong pro-life, pro-family freedom state. >> yes, like all the other states that does not believe in freedom. [ whatever ] he said he would make his decision at the end of the year and he made a bleak mention of another run. he said any future considerations i will announce in due time and i'll make announce those decisions appropriately. >> i'll make those decisions-- decisions--oops. >> that's great. >> that gas, that particular gas. those of us in radio appreciate

it the most. dead air is the most terrified thing in life. i think there was 50 seconds which is eternity. >> i don't think it was that long. >> if you go to radio hell, that's what it is, dead air. >> that's what it was for january brew--jan brewer. >> yes she got very blinky. >> she did. >> that was doubly good that was her opening prepared statement. she prepared that dead air. >> it was written down for her. >> da, da, junk, um. [ mumbling ] >> she planned it that way. >> yes. >> ha, ha, ha, ha. >> look at your paper, jan, come on. >> so he was trying to remember the three things he would

abolish. that he would abolish. >> there is the department of remembering things. i'll shut that one done. >> he apparently did. that had been shut down without his knowledge. >> oops. >> friends andallies say perry is energized by the abortion battle that propelled filibustering wendy davis that made him look like a bigger douche and then came back and said she made it personal. and saying if her mother--whatever. she's a rock star, wendy davis. so we will stay her with baited breath waiting for his announcement. [ crickets ] >> i'm here to, um, to do um,

shh, oops. >> sorry, i can't do it. [ laughing ] >> one of my favorite moments in presidential debates, sorry, i can't, bye. all right so lots to get to. as i say, eric mccormack coming up at the bottom of the hour. and jim and i got talking about the zimmerman trial in the elevator. we'll talk more about that. we'll try to get marsha clark or lisa bloom. you were saying yesterday that you think he's going to walk. lisa bloom said she thinks the defense had a couple of disastrous days. >> how can you miss it, every cable channel is running it 24/7. >> it's incredible to me is the screaming thing. yes, the guy with the gun is screaming. >> help, i got a gun. >> and then stops immediately after the gunshot. it's hard to figure out who that could have been. then they tried to put trayvon's father on the stand. that's what lisa bloom was

talking about to make it--literally he's grief stricken. he's hearing tape for the first time of his son's last moments of course he's like--he didn't say definitively that's his son. they said he put his head down, and i guess the cop took that as a no, that's not my son. but that's ridiculous to have that and to introduce that he had marijuana in his bloodstream. how is that relevant? >> he had a little bit of thc. it's not pcp. it doesn't make you crazy. >> the whole thing to me, it's so counter intuitive. he clearly racially profiled this kid. >> followed him with a gun. >> the dispatcher said, we don't need you to do that. he does, the kid ends up dead and all this stuff that is completely irrelevant. stuck in my craw. >> apparently. >> right back on "the stephanie

miller show." >> call stephanie now. she's easy. 1-800-steph-12. while making no sense... hey, so can i. once again friends, this is live tv and sometimes these things happen. >> watch the show. >> only on current tv.

i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> announcer: stephanie miller. [ ♪ music ♪ ] this is "the stephanie miller show"."

the entire show yesterday became plane talk. jim, of course knows about planes. it's really incredible. here are some of the things they were talking about why nobody noticed the plane was coming in too slow. i don't know anything about planes. why would that be bad. >> no, if you come in too slow. you stall and drop. >> because there is not enough air providing lift over the air. >> it's called the area of reverse command. you use the throttles to apply power because if if you pull back on the yoke at that low speed and you'll stall like a rock. which is what happened to this plane. >> right the other thing seemed to be that he left the first guyish the first captain let the first officer land the plane. he was the one with the less experience, it seems that that was not-- >> they were also just a little

behind the curve because they flight powered too late and then they asked to for a go around too late. >> and then there was a crash accident where no one died. the one that crashed on water but the first thing the captain let the first officer land the plane, then it was too late. maybe the training thing maybe without the people in the plane something. >> that might help. >> first of all you spend a lot of time in the simulator before you fly the actual plane. >> and you can fly into specific airports like sfo on the simulator air. >> was in training the this account saying the mystery deepens, how is the pilot flying misjudged their approach so seriously.

the details imply a serious lack of airmanship. that's what it seems like. >> my first thought is fatigue because they're flying in from seoul. they should have a backup crew. >> how long is that flight. >> it's pretty long. >> i'll google that. a distress of a stick shaker warning. the stick shakes. >> on a plane like that, it's a warning on a plane like that. >> it's also the name of a wreck and effects song. a zoom zoom, zoom, shake your stick. >> and also a warning when porn filming has gone awry. you're coming in too low. >> you're about to lose altitude. >> going in too slow. that's when the i airplane

itself senses it's on the brink of a dynamic stall. when the altitude provokes a stick a shake the idea is to put the nose down and reach speed as quickly as possible. and it was too late, and it seems it would go without saying. >> i thought of wind shear which is what happened in texas all those years ago. but they didn't have the word for it, when the wind suddenly chases and you have no lift, and you drop out of the sky. >> we also learned chris, we have the largest pool of amateur or professional pilots that listen to the show than in the country. someone wrote in and said you're wrong. the francisco airport is not a difficult airport to land, and you're not even an amateur pilot and they think you should close

your pie hole. they were speaking in pig latin and only jim could understand. >> stop agreeing, you know nothing. >> right, that's the only thing everybody could agree on. you should shut your pie hole. >> i'll just be over here. >> i've never gotten a pilots license, but i have flown small aircraft. >> and i cleaned small aircraft, in college i cleaned small planes. >> i was just in a small plane over the holiday. >> being in it does not qualify. i had to clean it and i backed the small plane into a hanger after which i was fired. >> the hanger door was closed. >> i ripped wires and instruments out of a small plane. >> i cleaned bugs and windshields off the small plane and they do in the look like bugs any more. and i had to check out the

instruments saying it was okay to go up. >> and you didn't know what you were doing. >> no. >> you didn't know the difference between an indicator andandand a veloceraptor. >> and i had to guide the planes in, and i didn't know what i was doing either. it was more like cheerleading. >> wow. >> the first officer handled the landing, he was in training on the 777--saturday was his first attempt to land the plane at san francisco airport. >> that would have been nice. >> in a plane he didn't have experience flying. >> the captain who assisted in the landing had over 3,000 hours of experience on the 777 and they were saying a lot of times

even bad conditions, plane 214 was coming in with no other challenges other than flying competently. maybe that's why the captain thought this is fine. >> oops. captain rick perry thought everything was going really well. >> that's probably what he said. it's customary for pilots to build their experience when there are no other unusually circumstances involved, it's part of their routine. the investigation is to find out what happened, why and all that there. 29 minutes after the hour. eric mccormack to talk about his new series on tnt "perception"," which sounds hilarious. it sounds really interesting. we'll talk to eric as we continue on "the stephanie miller show." [ ♪ music ♪ ]

(kaj) jack, how old are you? >> nine. (adam) this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. way inside. (christoff) we're patrolling the area looking for guns, drugs bodies ... (adam) we're going to places where few others are going. [lady] you have to get out now. >> lots of terrible things happen to people growing marijuana. >> this crop to me is my livelihood. >> i'm being violated by the health care system. (christoff) we go and spend a considerable amount of time getting to know the people and the characters that are actually living these stories. (vo) from the underworld to the world of privilege. >> everyone in michael jackson's life was out to use him. (vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current. >> occupy! >> we will have class warfare. (vo) true stories, current perspective. documentaries. on current tv.

this show is about analyzing criticizing, and holding policy to the fire. are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night? is this personal, or is it political? doing the things that i'm given to doing anyway, by staying in touch with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. in reality it's not like they actually care. this is purely about political grandstanding. i've worn lots of hats, but i've always kept this going. i've been doing politics now for a dozen years. (vo) he's been called the epic politics man. he's michael shure and his arena is the war room. >> these republicans in congress that think the world ends at the atlantic ocean border and pacific ocean border. the bloggers and the people that are sort of compiling the best of the day. i do a lot of looking at those people as well. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people, but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care about them right?

[ ♪ music ♪ ] >> fantastic. >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> you're the kind of person the network cannot get enough of. >> right. it's "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. 34 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll-free from anywhere. you know, how many times has ""will & grace"" been cited with all this stuff hooping happening with gay rights and then who pops up eric mccormack. eric mccormack of ""will & grace"" with his new series "perception."

>> imagine our surprise to find out you're straight. >> it's crazy in the last year or two from biden to santorum people keep bringing this show up that was so long ago, it's kind of amazing. >> it must make you feel proud. it really is--it is interesting how many cultureal things are turning points in this country. and will "will & grace" was. >> it wasn't the agenda. the agenda was to be funny. we have aware of young guys and girls coming up and saying, i didn't have the courage to tell my parents, they were watching you every week, and that made it easier. but to be constantly mentioned in political change is amazing. >> do you watch modern family and think hikers, you're late

to the party. >> ellen could have done the same. she came out on her program, and that brought that little peek in the door brought us in the door. it's got to keep growing and growing until it's not an issue any more. >> if you talk politics any more like i do, you look at the polling and that's why this civil rights has moved so fast because you know somebody. people feel like they know characters on tv. it makes it oh, it's that couple i really like, or that guy that i like. >> totally. totally. you can always--it's more like something with milk and monty honey than vinegar. you can do all the guy rights speeches, but people will turn to the programming and that

change will happen naturally rather than having to be forced. >> i think it's catch more flies is what you're thinking. >> catch more flies with honey than vinegar. >> you're excused. you're from canada. >> you were born in toronto. >> i found it's being completely flooded. >> they're having bad flooding problems. >> crazy. i was 30 years in toronto always in the theater before i came west through vancouver and down through l.a. but i was in my 30s before i hit l.a. and was trying out for sitcoms and things. >> i'm not saying that you're overcompensating playing a gay guy, but your new film is macho

barricade and night flight. >> don't they. but the next one is called, i'm going to kill you. >> with my bare hands. >> they're not particularly macho, but the new series is a 180 from will, which was intentional, and it's fun to see people tune in and go, i didn't think i was going to be able to see anything but will, but very quickly i couldn't remember will. >> i heard it's amazing. it's on tnt "perception." a schizophrenic neuropsychiatrist that assists the fbi. >> not only is he paranoid schizophrenic, he's off his medicine by choice. he has enough hubris to believe he can take care of this himself. he's a brain guy. he lives with his hallucinations, the voices in hi

head. and then on crime scenes is expected to be the biggest brain in the room. it's a crime zoning show but the heart of it is a very unlikely crime solver. >> i love the description is pierce's hallucination enable to pick up subtle clues in solving crimes. >> well, the fun that we can have we're really careful. we've been working with the mental health community to make sure that we're accurate, and that we're empathetic, but within that, because you have a guy that you believe--if i'm doing it right, you believe he's going to be okay, you can enjoy the fact that he takes advantage of his own psychosis and occasionally hallucinates and he hallucinated the joan of arc who was whisper things in my

ear. sometimes you don't know if the character he's talking to is there, but, in fact, is not. it's another element to be surprised by. >> oh it's like the sixth sense. >> it's a beautiful mind if john nash solved crimes. >> and talking about split personality. he sang both national anthems. >> i'm not like a sports guy. i'm not a hockey guy, but to stand there and do that, that was ten years ago and that was hard to believe. >> you can be executed in canada for that, not being a hockey guy. >> that's why i was thrown out. >> get out eeh. i love the liner of the notes. you're a professor of the which is university.

wisconsin university, is that fictional. >> we couldn't get up the rights to anything bigger. chicago of lake michigan. clmu. and who would be the mascot? the clans. the fighting clans. not a big team. >> it sounds amazing and like a 180 from "will & grace." >> yes, and yet there is a lot of--at the heart of it is there is fun that i can with it, but it's also quite dramatic, and i think for those who just shows a lot of surprises, a lot of crime solving twists and turns. our writers come up with amazing stuff. just the way that "er" used to have some disease you never heard of we get to play with neurological conditions that you think we make up. people think we're literally

making this stuff up. they're not. it's out of the books and some of the latest discovers and they make for really interesting crime stories. >> please, all those anti-depressant commercials. i have that. i have that. >> yes it's another prozac episode. >> well, eric, i've always been a big fan. i can see where you were casted as will. you're entirely too good looking to be straight even though you are. "perception" on tnt. thank you so much for taking time for us. >> okay. >> there he goes. he's adore adorable. i have been told that, and there he is. the original head writers of "will & grace," we had been talking about this, and how much he had been cited in the gay rights movement. >> and they're in your living room.

>> and civilization is here? i don't have to hit a vomit button on facebook? >> you don't have to be disciplined like a barbarian? >> yes, you can remain undisciplined. >> i'm good at that. >> we have to understand barbarians need to be educated. they need to be disciplineed. >> mm-hmm. so i was on the cnn last night talking about the spitzer comeback. spitzer and weiner. i said i want to move to new york and run both of their campaigns and say i'm calling from weiner spitzer. or spitzer weiner. >> i bet she does. >> i bet she does. jim, don't make me go there. >> jim don't. [ buzzer ] >> it does sound like a choice spits or weiner. i don't know which is depends on my mood.

okay see i'm bias. i love eliot. we know him. he's our colleague here at current. >> great man. >> i ran into him at msnbc i found him incredibly smart and just funny. >> just because he did that one dalliance does not make him unsmart. >> well, there is a new bar for sex scandals, let me just say between schwarzenegger and sandford, pick one edwards you know. anyway, and he's funny about it. he has a sense of humor about it he has humility, and as jim said he's really smart and he's right on all this wall street stuff and comptroller, i think he's very well-qualified for that job. >> he will make that position into the second most powerful position in new york city. >> yes our friend at the daily beast write about that. his run for new york city comptroller.

eliot spitzer is throwing his hat in for the comptroller race, and why spitzer is smarter than weiner. spitzer or weiner. he's saying what i just said. that's what i sensed when i met him. he has a humility to him and the way he handled the whole scandal, and the way--they were just saying of course weiner has to go with the biggest, the mayor thing. >> not hubris. >> no, where eliot is taking the approach you know, doing time, doing penance, public service who knew. we'll talk about what his plan is. we'll continue the spitzer weiner choose, spits or weiner. >> really? you will think we were going on vacation soon, no. >> you would think politics is just a big joke. we'll be right back on stephanie miller.

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[ ♪ music ♪ ] . [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> announcer: stephanie miller. [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie: you're right. that is the new insult of the stephanie miller. stop being a weiner spitzer. 50 minutes after the hour, 1-800-steph-12 from anywhere. >> the spitzer sausage isn't that a terrier?

>> stephanie: marvin in chicago on spitzer weiner. good morning. >> caller: good morning. i wanted to call in when you start hearing about weiner. there is a big difference. i just can't past weiner. there is something the creepiness in terms of sending photographs of himself. i think we can overlook prostitution and spitzer's body of work, no pun intended. >> stephanie: marvin, the weiner thing, of all sex scandals in some ways is the weirdest because there was no sex involved. >> the fact that he's taking photographs of himself and send to a drastically younger woman and he has no credibility with the voters of new york. >> i'm going to guess if i were a wife if i had to choose between 15 years of unprotected sex with prostitutes or sending

a picture to someone. >> he should have sent a wienerschnitzel. >> it doesn't look provocative something in the viennese style. >> from my friend at the daily beast, eliot spitzer, and weiner, that's his job. it looks like that the sex scandal is dead. weiner whose crotch shots seems to only have added to his street cred. >> people high fiving him everywhere. >> stephanie: and pointing out it should be said that bubba set the poll on credible claims of

confidence. that is true. mark san fed set it earlier this year for running for his congressional seat. i'm just saying if i were a wife, which is a stretch but my point is ♪ if i were a rich man ♪ >> would you choose your husband falling in love with someone else and having a mistress, and some people might take hookers or crotch shots. just saying. >> i wouldn't like either. i wouldn't like either. >> no, i wouldn't neither. i'm just saying for comparing relative sex scandals. anthony weiner said it was time to run for new york city mayor. it must be said that spitzer is smarter than weiner. weiner could not help himself. he had to run for the highest office in the land, city hall. as i've argued before. a far smarter modest move would be to run for for public

advocate for comptroller work hard, put your head down, four years later an electoral redemption would have been earned and that's spitzer's game plan and he's likely going to be successful. we'll see a comeback from a driven man who want to be taken seriously in a position of power. i wish him well. i like eliot spitzer. [applause] >> pincher, i just met her. [ laughing ] >> wow, blow me down. >> stephanie: dear god. we were talking about the san francisco plane crash. we turned to another episode of plane talk. >> good. >> what did we learn? what is this called? the stick shaker? >> it's warning, the stall warning. >> the stick shaker warning. which is entirely different than the spitzer weiner story.

>> it drives me nuts when there is a crash and people say the engine stalling. it's like they're talking about cars. the stall is an aerodynamic issue. >> they said it was not the engines at all. the chair woman yesterday. >> they were clear to land by the tower, and then there was the accident sequence, and the subsequent launch of the emergency responders on the airport property. >> i'm wondering if they set the flaps and all the leading edge slats, that pops out automatically at a certain angle of attack. but the. >> the black box will tell us. >> stephanie: right. >> one of the two black boxes which are really orange. >> stephanie: see, there is another plane fact did i not know. did you know that? >> i did know that. >> black boxes they're-- >> so they're easier to find. >> but black box you can't tell from the outside what is going on in therish but technically

they're orange. >> stephanie: as many people speculated why don't they make the plane out of what is made for the black box. >> because it would not get off the ground. >> well, you solved that problem. >> we're in cleveland. woe, we're here. >> you would be a very big expensive bus with tiny bathrooms. >> you can't make bathrooms out that have material. >> sound byte: the lower portion of the tail come was was at the rocks of the sea wall, and there was a significant portion of the plane in the water. >> stephanie: yes, so the investigation continues. that is standard procedure about letting the first officer land in order to get experience. >> he wasn't ready for it. >> stephanie: yeah, it seems like that's where that is going but who knows until he completes the investigation.

speaking of mishaps. the flight attend denies snugging a pet rat in her underwear. >> hmm. >> stephanie: and files suit. american airlines flight attend accused by her colleagues of smuggling a pet rat in her underwear. >> they smell cats in her underwear. >> really. >> stephanie: if you do not stop being such a weiner spitzer. >> oh, my god. >> stephanie: okay she is filed lawsuit against the airline claiming the accusations results in increased custom screenings and now there is dress stress disorder. they're going to ask not only did you pack your bag but did you pack a rat in your who ha. >> don't rats have teeth? they could chew through

anything. >> it's a pet rat. >> they still chew. >> two employees made the rail allegation. one of the accusers told a pilot that they saw a bulge in her pocket. apparently not happy to see her. it looked like a live pet as he helped her exit a van during a layover. that's got to go startling. another flight attend felt that she pet her pet rat during one flight. >> oh dear lord. >> stephanie: the flight attend attendant saw her eating a dinner roll out of a cup. >> why would you eat a dinner roll out of a cup. >> stephanie: i don't know. it's not willard that's the point. >> was it ben? >> stephanie: 58 minutes after the hour right back on "the stephanie miller show"." [ ♪ music ♪ ]

[ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie: all right hour number two current tv land. charlie pierce of esquire.com coming up at the bottom of hour. jacki schechner. >> yes. >> you know how you're my bff in addition to being my news lady. >> yes. >> stephanie: i think i would have told you i wanted to do a news corner. >> that would be nice. >> stephanie: we should talk because the war has begun pretty

much is what michael tomasky is saying about the next election. >> isn't it amazing they spent all that money giving people affordable healthcare rather than fighting it? >> stephanie: that's crazy you and your notions. we have jacki schechner health corner right after jayy jacki's news. working her. >> endorseing frank palone for senate yesterday it looks like corey booker is going to one to run away with the primary. booker at 52% and palone at 10%. the nominee is likely going to be steve lonagin. edward snowden may be on his way to south america.

venezuela president has offer snowden asylum in his country. it's up to snowden if he wants to head to venezuela and when. ecuador said they would consider asylum as well. but it's unclear if he has the papers he needs to move elsewhere. snowden is wanted here on felony charges, and if he's going to do additional travel it should be back here to face those charges. >> he's been charged with a felony or with felonies, and as such he should not be allowed to proceed in any further international travel other than travel that would result in him returning to the united states. >> and u.s. and china are going to meet this week to discuss among other things china's alleged stealing of trade secrets worth hundreds of billions of dollars a year and

its likely that snowden's revelation will make it harder to draw distinct between cyberspying. we'll be back after the break. the young turks is that were honest. they know that i'm not bsing them for some hidden agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know i'm going to be the first one to call them out. cenk on air>> what's unacceptable is how washington continues to screw the middle class over. cenk off air i don't want the middle class taking the brunt of the spending cuts and all the different programs that wind up hurting the middle class. cenk on air you got to go to the local level, the state level and we have to fight hard to make sure they can't buy our politics cenk off air and they can question if i'm right about that. but i think the audience gets that, i actually mean it. cenk on air 3 trillion dollars in spending cuts! narrator uniquely progressive and always topical the worlds largest online news show is on current tv. cenk off air and i think the audience

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gripping, current. >> occupy! >> we will have class warfare. (vo) true stories, current perspective. documentaries. on current tv. you. [ ♪ music ♪ ] [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show," welcome to it. it is six minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 toll-free from anywhere. we have charlie pierce from esquire.com. and then we have jen kirkman from chelsea lately.

and some people have sent me future husband meat stacks. cops dui eat the patrol car. >> not just the bumpers. >> stephanie: the entire car. >> some parts are edible. >> stephanie: right? that's the plan. he had a plan. he's accused of resisting arrest on charges of drunk driving and more legal trouble to chew on after eating part of the patrol car. in his defense he made it clear he did not want to be taken in by sheriff deputy so he started gnawing on the patrol car because he didn't want to be taken to jail. >> nobody wants to be taken to jail. >> stephanie: well, i'm just saying. in more time he could have eaten the entire car. all right this is--because that's car stack meets future

husband stack. here the future corner. [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> are you holding out on the future husbands? where is my future husband stack? >> i'm doing a new show called "future husband hoarder." >> stephanie: so charlie pierce, he sums it up as he often does. he said obamacare is bad because irs and benghazi benghazi, benghazi. it's important to know that no victory will be a permanent one. there is too much money unleashed on the other side. >> you should throw abortion in there, too. they're very key on abortion. >> stephanie: exactly. and michaelel tomasky has written about this new koch brothers ad. and it begins airing, it's

smart, savvy, and likely to be effective. >> we're talking about the one where it's a mom saying i don't know what i'm going to get for higher premiums, smaller paycheck, and i can't pick my doctors, that one? >> stephanie: right. >> all lies. >> oh, there is that. >> stephanie: that's what he said. are democrats ready to respond. we're going to do a corner a day if we have to because i don't know--when you were helping to get healthcare passed did you see this coming? that this was going to be this even after it was passed? >> yeah, they've been attacking all along. they're going to do everything. we haven't tried to repeal it in the house now of 37 times because they're willing to give up. if anything they're proving that no matter what they're going to fight this to the bitter end because there is so much money at stake. that's what is behind all of this. it's the lobbyists and insurance companies and the medical drug manufacturers and the device manufacturers. it's such an industrial complex. >> stephanie: yeah, in speaking,

you actually happened to bring up abortion. charlie has written a lot about what the coke brothers are doing with scott walker and wisconsin. this is a sliver of good news. the courts have blocked on the ban of reproduction rights with what with in wisconsin with what scott walker has done there. >> yes. >> stephanie: michael tomasky writes they'll run an ad, one of several that is planned to attack obamacare. this opens the 2014 campaign. it doesn't matter, the results of the last election, the supreme court ruling, they're just marching forward on this. >> i would argue from a p.r. perspective. a lot of people are discussing whether or not it was the right thing to do for the administration to say they were going to delay the employer responsibility part of the law for a year.

now we found out kind of buried in the news friday is that they're going to layoff kind of checking on your salary reporting if you want to participate in the exchange, they're also going to hold out on whether or not you get health insurance from your employer they're not going to check that as vehemently as they normally would. basically they're making sacrifices in the short term to get this all implemented. and there are some questions on the p.r. front. i would argue, and i was thinking about this yesterday because this is what i do in my free time. the administration would be better suited to be incredibly transparent about all this. to have the president get up there with catherine sebelius making a speak and saying we know there is a huge list and there may be trade-offs in the short term. they're not going to affect how many people get health insurance and all the good things happening, but there there are

going to be trade-offs and this is what they're going to be. getting in front of this is a much better strategy than admitting that you have to take some bad press and try to bury it in the news cycle. i think from media communications perspective there is a better way to go about this. >> stephanie: let's do that. tomasky writes with no accomplishments and possibly killing immigration reform and admitting themselves and the benghazi and the irs are not going to be barack obama's undoing, they're grasping at their final straw frightening people about healthcare reform. the sad thing it has a decent chance of succeeding. michael writes the ad by the koch brothers is very smart, we have a young mother, pretty y julie, mother of two. [ dinging bell ] her son caleb has health issues, she's also pregnant, and she

voices her concerns about obamacare. if we can't pick our own doctor. >> oh, boy. >> stephanie: as michael writes. >> no restrictions. no restrictions on the doctor that you can choose. that doesn't change. you're restricted now if you think about it. you have health insurance your shines companyinsurance company tells you who is in-network and out of network. there are doctors who don't take private insurance because it's too red tape and cost prohibitive for them and their staff spends more time on the phone arguing with insurance companies than not helping patients. if you want to talk about not seeing the doctor you want, that's happening now. >> stephanie: and then higher premiums and a smaller paycheck. >> not true. if you get the exchanges up and running, the premiums are lower and you're going to get more for the money you're paying because there are standard benefits.

a lot of employers are being forced to push premiums on their employees because the insurance companies are raising them arbitraryily. >> yes can you muzzle nazi benghazi. >> i will say the organization that came out of president obama's campaign arm is out with their new organizing for action now. that's what it's called. they have a counter an ad that's going up that talks about how the healthcare re reform law eliminates lifetime caps. if you have a sick child there is no limit on how much the insurance company pays out. it shows another young mother who has a child who basically hit halfway to her cap by her first birthday because she was born with an illness or ailment of some sort. you know, if you want to make that argument is that if you have a child who is ill the problem used to be, a, the kid

could not get cover because of pre-existing conditions down the line. but also the insurance company had a limitation of how much it would pay out and if you have a sick kid that could be hit by the first or second birthday. >> michael tomasky speaks about stacey lind, the mother of a two-year-old girl whose life was saved by obamacare because her two previous heart surgeries had pushed her up against the cap that obamacare made unlawful. shedemocrats being democrats always second guessing themselves if the emotional approach wreaks of blackmail. we never heard of her the entire election season. we need to fight fire with fire in terms of real stories. >> the real stories are tricky. this is something that i learned very early on.

it's very difficult when you tell people, i hate to call them sob stories, but that's the best way to describe them. it makes me sound incentive, and that's not what i mean. but when you tell people's personal stories. we have a weird reaction. we don't get angry. we want to blame the victim or solve the problem but it doesn't incite anger. it's a way that we react to those stories. and so i think that there is a different tack to take. people don't say i'm scared as hell and i'm not going to take it any more. you need to get angry. and sometimes those personal stories don't resonate other than to make people feel sad or find a reason to blame the person suffering. >> stephanie: react to this part of tomasky's piece. he said, talking about all that is explaining, which is what we're saying. not emoting. so emoting julie gets the job

done. but it makes the usually rail mistake that people will listen to an argument rather than responding to earnest pleas to pretty blonds. >> i'm not a guy so i don't understand the earnest plea from a pretty blond. >> stephanie: i do, trust me. >> i'm sure i've been that blond. >> stephanie: interestingly, he talks about what you said. the implementation of the law is going to be complicated and there is going to be--it's going to be frustrating for some people. as you said, it's a big left. it's a big part of the economy. he's saying they're going to have an easier time finding horror stories. that's where this trench warfare is going to fought, on the end of the anecdote. >> i don't know, the anecdote is rough because people don't relate to the anecdote as much. and i think that-- >> stephanie: he says as opposed--we're not going to get very far with statistics. >> no, no, people can't relate to statistics at all. but i think you need to take a

higher level tactic. generate anger and make people realize where this is coming from. get angry at the insurance companies and employer who is are cutting jobs. get angry at the people who are responsible and not just defer to democrats or the president and you kind of have to--i don't know how we do this in this day and age. but some how get past the politics of this and get to the substantial policy of it. again, i like to say this, disease does not discriminate. cancer does not ask if you're a republican or democrat. republicans just don't want to pay for the treatment. >> stephanie: can you hang on? >> are you going to produce the news? >> stephanie: yes. >> you just wait there missy. we'll take a couple of questions from jacki healthcare corner as we continue on "the stephanie miller show"." >> announcer: call stephanie now.

she's easy. call 1-800-steph-12. [ ♪ music ♪ ]

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(vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. (vo) she's joy behar. >>current will let me say anything.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] [ ♪ music ♪ ] stephanie miller [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> it is "the stephanie miller show," welcome to it. 23 minutes after the hour.1-800-steph-12 toll-free from anywhere. jacki schechner, nurse jacki is with us for "jacki's corner." steve is with us. hi steve. >> caller: good morning. i was hoping that jacki might be able to help me out on this question. i haven't been able to find information on it.

it pertains to chronic diseases. i've had lyme disease for ten years, and it wasn't diagnosed until four years after i got it. since that time i've been diagnosed with half a dozen brain lesions. >> stephanie: oh my goodness. >> caller: the competently internationally renown physicians infectious disease physician who is suggest more powerful drugs for the symptoms of the lyme disease and the co-infections are being turned down by insurance companies because they say well, that drug is not recommended for that type of treatment. and is there any provision to enforce insurance companies to allow physician-patient approval to use a drug allow them to get that type of medication from an

insurance company? >> that's a really good question. to be perfectly honest with you i would have to research if there is any requirement within the law, but i do know one thing that is important that the law is paying attention to is comparative effectiveness research. to figure out what procedures and drug are tricky because they cut a deal with farm fharma to figure out drugs and treatment relative to cost. we're used to pay attention to the newest, shiniest and brightest without paying attention to research, and it ends up costing us more. what the law calls for is effectiveness to see if we're spending money on the most effective and cost effective at the same time.

>> stephanie: alan in chicago. go ahead. >> caller: jacki, my question for you is the implementation of the healthcare law and the states that are refusing the additional funds from medicaid. won't this result in a two-tiered level of service? >> yep. i mean. >> in a word. >> it's going to be president bushproblematicbecause you'll end up with a lot of people who don't have access to healthcare. >> caller: the states are refusing to abide by the intent of law correct? >> it's unfortunate, but with when the supreme court made it's ruling it said that the states had the ability to opt out of those expansion. it ultimately is their decision, and it's not going to put burden on the state because the federal government picks up the tab for the first three years.

>> and the consistent impact of the law nationwide is just going to add fuel to the fire of the ardent foes of it. >> it's part of the effort to sabotage it in its entirety because if you don't expand access to any sort of healthcare for those who make under is is 130% of the poverty level, they're without access. >> stephanie: that's why michael tomasky's piece is so important. this is all that the g.o.p. has. they've lost every fight with the president. this is what they're going to do for the next three and a half years is to reverse the biggest law. they're going to actively work against this. >> it's personal and scary. people don't like big changes. it's something that they can inherently tap into. there is an inherent fear that they can tap in to. but people need to be strong and

brave and say big changes come with big--i don't even say it's risk because at this point it's not really a risk. it's a big change that will do us good. it's not perfect. >> stephanie: he's basically saying they better be ready because we long ago past logic. when the supreme court ruling came down, it will be over, but they're unprecedented. they're going to try to impede and continue to misinform. >> to have being afraid to fight. that's the argument that i would make. for people who are worried they don't have the details and the facts stop being afraid. people are making too much money and too much profit on other people's pain. this is one step in the right direction, and we're going to take more steps down the road. >> stephanie: let's get one more in. cory, go ahead. >> caller: it's funny you

mentioned people paying. i'm currently dealing with--i had a back injury and dealing with chronic back pain, but i was wondering if you had advice for somebody that doesn't have any insurance. currently unemployed due to recent layoff, and i need to deal with this some how. immediately. it's getting to the point where it's affecting my daily life. to the point, it's like, i just--i'm trying to get something done now. >> i would say what you need to do is take a look at what your state has to offer because a lot of states--it's not well publicized in a lot of states but they do have programs that are available either high-risk pools that are not terribly effective but a stop-gap measure or state-funded coverage and take a look to see what your state offers, go online and make some phone calls. >> stephanie: okay, we're out of

time. "the stephanie miller show."

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[ ♪ music ♪ ] [vo] stephanie miller. >> i think sometimes people are really mean, the hot popular girl. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show," welcome to it. 34 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll-free from anywhere. charlie pierce stuck in traffic. henry, well to the show. >> caller: my thing is this, we could talk about medicare, voting act, anything like that, but nothing is ever going to change until our attorney general gets off his behind and

stops putting handcuffs on governor who are doing nothing more than circumvent federal law. the states have the right to make it difficult in some areas but they can't circumvent the law. now this thing about women's rights birth control you know, abortions, things of that nature, that's out of their league. truthfully, i don't see how come our attorney general has not got off his tail and go and kick the door in and say you know you guys you actually are violating federal law, and its time to pay the price. they're making it so hard for average, every day people to get healthcare to go to planned parenthood, to get breast ma'am

glance, things of that nature, they're making these things so hard, and to me it's like at what point you're going to make it so hard that people are going to start fighting back, and i don't think it will be a pretty case when the end result is when people have no choice but to fight back because it will be a life-and-death situation. >> stephanie: yes, yes, you know, i got to say thank got for the courts. [ nightly news music ] they're suing to get women's rights back. on friday when he hoped that no one was looking wisconsin governor scott walker approved reinstructionsrerestrictions. >> what authority does the attorney general have? >> stephanie: that i'm not entirely sure. this is state by state is the way that this is being fought. you literally you're second

you're saying what are they doing in texas? and what did they just do in ohio. this is scott walk center walker in wisconsin. requiring women to have an ultrasound here we go again. virginia virginia started this. this is the same kind of thing that they're doing in texas. the state had one passed the law but the courts had another idea. the laws that require women to undergo ultrasounds blah-blah-blah, so they entered a restraining order. it's literally like they've lost every fight so they're--with the president. this is what he said. in any case this is all the

g.o.p. has. they tried to beat obama on every front from the economy terrorism to the environment to the recent scandals. they have lost most of those fights and even the 2011 debt ceiling, the only win was a loss because while obama lost standing the congress lost more standing and they lost the big fight. the world's historical state versus anti-state fight the one over obamacare. maybe a lot of us, charlie pierce writes about this. you lost, now what we do in a democracy this is the law of the land. this is different this time. >> they want to break up the union again and just have--well. >> they're going to spend the next three and a half years to reverse that law. they'll start in mostly red states where senators face toughites next year or where retiring the seat might swing and they'll never stop.

the house has tried to repeal obamacare 38 times and they'll try to destroy his legacy and talking obamacare and the president and it's defenders better be ready. >> they're losing like iraqi lost. they lost and so they burn all the oil fields on their way out. >> stephanie: yes, good analogy. >> we have made clear all along when it comes working with states that we're flexible with the way that they implement the affordable care act. >> stephanie: yeah, and of course as jacki was saying they're going to turn flexibility into, oh, it's weakness, failure, blah-blah. senator jack reed of rhode island. >> the vast majority of companies provide healthcare already and will continue to do so. but give the potential confusion postponing it, not eliminating

it, but postponing it makes sense. >> stephanie: because there were so many questions for jacki did i not take down the right wing troll that said are you going to sign up for obamacare. yes. i'll just answer that yes. >> the computer says yes. >> stephanie: first of all we're of the 98% of companies that already have healthcare. people don't--they want to resist stuff that even is just affecting this much of the population but positively. the exchange is for people who don't get insurance at work like 98% of us do. really you want to make this much--or our caller was talking about people who need medicaid, and you have the misfortune of being in a red state where the governor has refused the money for. senator bob corker, the republican of tennessee. >> what it's doing is keeping employers from bringing on any kind of employees.

and it's very damaging. pushing it back a year is not going to undue the uncertainty. >> stephanie: the obamacare that has already been enacted has killed all these jobs. >> but it will have had destroyed jobs. >> stephanie: it won't undo the damage that's it's already undone by not being done yet. i can see that logic. >> and it will be pushed back by a million years that ought to take care of it. fix it. >> stephanie: hi don. >> hi, i was just wondering if you were going to sign up for affordable healthcare act. >> stephanie: yes. >> and if not, i was wonder goingwonderingif al-jazeera. >> we're not going to be working for al-jazeera. >> stephanie: he was not listening. >> to answer your question, yes. >> stephanie: he was not listening.

he was wait to go troll. >> those of you who are not going to do it, then you must not like it. >> stephanie: he didn't get to go to reception under his bridge. he didn't realize i already answered the question. claire in massachusetts. >> caller: thanks so much for doing what you're doing. i know the american league of women's league of massachusetts they're working very hard to get expanded medicare just here in massachusetts. we've had mass health for children for over a decade, and its worked beautifully. we cover it just fine, and all the children in the state are covered. it really comes down to economics, and this is all the numbers have been done. in 2054 it's expected what we spend on healthcare will equal the gdp of the country.

there will be nothing left if we continue on this course. i agree the individual stories they don't have the impact that they could but the politicians are asking for this. we have bills in the senate ready to be passed to get it just in massachusetts. i think that's the way to go. to do it state by state. that's how canada did it, but the politicians are saying we're not hearing enough from the people. as i walk around, i live in northampton, a very progressive area i talk about it, and people say oh, yeah, i'm all for it then they change the subject. there is just no energy behind it. >> stephanie: i hear you. it's really hard to know how to push it forward. >> all you can do is doing what you're doing speaking the truth. >> stephanie: 43 minutes after the hour, we come back with charlie pierce. >> holy cow, you just blew my mind. [vo] it's "the stephanie miller show."

young turks! i think the number 1 thing than viewers like about the young turks is that were honest. they know that i'm not bsing them for some hidden agenda, actually supporting one party or the other. when the democrats are wrong, they know i'm going to be the first one to call them out. cenk on air>> what's unacceptable is how washington continues to screw the middle class over. cenk off air i don't want the middle class taking the brunt of the spending cuts and all the different programs that wind up hurting the middle class. cenk on air you got to go to the local level, the state level and we have to fight hard to make sure they can't buy our politics anymore. cenk off air and they can question if i'm right about that. but i think the audience gets that, i actually mean it. cenk on air 3 trillion dollars in spending cuts! narrator uniquely progressive and always topical the worlds largest online news show is on current tv. cenk off air and i think the audience gets, "this guys to best of his abilities is trying to look out for us."

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(vo) this afternoon, current tv is the place for compelling true stories. >> jack, how old are you? >> nine. >> this is what 27 tons of marijuana looks like. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines, way inside. (vo) from the underworld, to the world of privilege. >> everyone in michael jackson's life was out to use him. (vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current. this show is about being up to date, staying in touch with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. in reality it's not like they actually care. this is purely about political grandstanding.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] [vo] stephanie miller. [ ♪ music ♪ ] [vo] you say that like it's a bad thing. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it, 48 minutes after the hour. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll-free from anywhere. we have jen kirkman from chelsea lately.in her own hill layerty. there is only one man who understands. [ ♪ music ♪ ]

>> stephanie: good morning charlie pierce. >> good morning, good morning jim ward is back with all of his many personalities. >> we're they arizing that your car was stuck in a stack of moneymoney canmonkey pus. can you get insurance coverage for that? >> someone has been reading my articles. >> stephanie: scott walker is selling off wisconsin piece by piece to koch brothers. this is a sliver of good news that the court has blocked scott walker's new restrictions on reproductive rights. >> it's the first one of those state laws that the federal judges looked at it and said no. >> stephanie: he noted in the ruling that the provision of the

republican measures serves no medical purpose and was rushed into law for no reason. but the reason that you point out every week. it's what's the koch brothers want. >> it's not just what them. it's what the entire republican base want. there is a reason why they rushed it into law. it's very apparently there is no apparent medical reason for it. >> stephanie: anyway, it's stuff that you've been warning us about. let's get on to what. >> distopian stack of monkey pus also known as the ryan budget. >> stephanie: oh, this is why i love you mostest. you said that the tinhorns in the republican caucus sell to the american people that the sack of monkey pus known as the economic plan, the most by paul ryan, the granny starver from the state of wisconsin. right there is why charlie

pierce is charlie pierce. >> it's a serious plan and they need support. >> not only that they're saying to the president you don't have to do it all at once. just do it piecemeal. who are these people when they're at home. >> then enact the monkey pus all at once or a little bit at a time otherwise they're going to. [ bleep ] with the debt ceiling again. it really--it is incredible because you talk about the ryan budget. they know it. it's nonsense. >> doesn't add up. every serious economist has looked at it and it's a complete vehicle to shove the nation's wealth upward even faster and demolish the social safety net. paul ryan usedded to say it was but now he said it wasn't because he's on the "i'm with the poor people" kick. but the notion was that it would fail, and then someone would run on it for vice president and then it would fail again.

it's the hill on which the republicans are going to die. it's hilarious. nobody in the senate is going to vote for this. the president is never going to sign it. it's exactly the same thing as voting to repeal obamacare 37 times. it's something that you can put on your door-to-door hand bills when you run for re-election. >> stephanie: yes, you have few real ideas. you cling to the few ideas you have even the bad ones. but holding the full faith of and credit of the united states hostage. you just lost an election on this. >> this has been soundly rejected not only by the national electorate, but a lot of--a great number of republicans in the house hide behind the drapes when this guy comes down the hall. they know. steve scalise and others, but

you have enough penthol that you inject into john boehner he knows it's crazy. >> this is enough. >> i love it when you cue up jim ward. that's the funnest thing about this show. and you can do it on become anything. jim, who killed michael hastings hastings. >> fred flrgenhiden. >> no, it was lee harry oswald. >> in the parlor with the candlestick. >> colonel mustard in the book depository. >> stephanie: we were just talking to jacki will healthcare. >> jacki schechner? >> stephanie: yeah, jacki schechner. >> she's not there? >> stephanie: she's somewhere in the cloud. >> the cloud. >> hey get off of her cloud. >> stephanie: you write every thinking american knew that the american healthcare system was

dying from hunger. the president decided hell's bells somebody ought to do something like "b" that. he did and some have made mistakes along the way. some saying saying the opposition is somewhat sane and reasonable, and this ad. here we go. they're not going to stop fighting this. >> they're not going to stop fighting anything. anything that they've put money behind, they're not going to stop until they get their way. and, quite honestly, unless people smarten up as we used to say around here. i don't know how they lose because they have enough money to come back and come back and come back. nothing--we saw this at the voting rights act. nothing that you thought was permanent is permanent any more. >> stephanie: that's what i read that line to jacki of yours because you say it's important that every progressive know that no victory will permanently be won. there is too much money unleashed on the other side. as we were talking about this, this is the first val salvo of 2014

for the koch brothers. >> this is to make the koch brothers as toxic as the republicans may acorn in a month and a half. that will take a lot of work because they have a lot of money to push back with. but you have to show the environmental damage their industries do, and the political damage that they do. and you have to do it over and over again. you have to play provincial baseball what are you doing coming into our state. >> stephanie: it's the corporate goal to demolish any rule of law of which the kochs do not approve. >> they're not alone. they're the biggest and most obvious examples of this, but i mean, there is this unbridled corporate money, the center of power that doesn't respond to anyone. it truly doesn't respond to the

republicans. do you think reince priebus will respond. >> reince priebus. >> if only he sounded like that. >> ooh. >> stephanie: fighting the political debate of the day. you sum it up best because you say the irs benghazi, benghazi, benghazi, benghazi, it does not matter. it's not logical. >> that's the argument going on and now we hear that immigration reform is going to fail because of obamacare. >> stephanie: what, what now? >> that's going to be out there. that's what they're going to argue one way or another you're going to hear it. >> stephanie: david brooks on "meet the press" talking about how this achieves every conservative goal. you raise more tax money reduce the deficit it creates jobs, right? >> then they were talking about how obamacare was doomed to failure because it was an

organized mess but without pointing out the reason why it was because idiots that they have to cut deals with. when you call something a the ruk gold brick device do the work. they accomplish the task that you want it to. anybody using that until is using it historically and scientifically incorrect. >> so goldberg was not a reuben at all. >> no, not at all. it took an hour and a half to light your cigar but they work. >> stephanie: you make that point, that's the problem you need all these parts to make affordable care work, but they're going to do their best to make sure that it doesn't. like you say whether it's republican governors or them having a relentless p.r.

campaign to keep spreading misinformation. >> there will be problems, people will complain to their local newspapers, and you'll get five or six anecdotes from around the country that will start the trend and that's where we'll be. >> stephanie: the new koch brother ad features the pretty blond who looks like she could be liberal she reads and her son is named liberal. >> i don't know what's going to happen to caleb and i. >> stephanie: exactly. it is like the small business owners. [ magic wand music ] >> i wish it was back to the days that caleb could not be insured because he had a pre-existing condition. things were so much better then. the sparkle ponies in the backyard were so much prettier. >> stephanie: you and jim ward just did a skit. at esquire.com. see you honey. jen kirkman next on stephanie

miller. [ ♪ music ♪ ]

>> stephanie: all right hour number three, jen kirkman comedian extraordinary joins us live in studio. jacki schechner. >> jen kirkman owes me a drink. the company of a drink. once it got to be margarita season it was time for a drink. i think we're deep in margarita season. >> stephanie: people who have kids say it's rewarding margaritas are the adults only pool to which i say cers. all rig, jacki schechner, a spectacular healthcare corner. >> the patrols are fun. >> stephanie: right. >> they're small, you can bat them around, they're fun.

>> stephanie: i'll get a troll doll next time, the next healthcare corner. in the meantime, jacki schechner with the news. >> house speaker john boehner and his colleagues. as expected they're going to attack healthcare reform again. boehner went after the administration's announcement that it's not going to enforce the employer responsibility provision for big business until until 2015 asking the president to justify his decision via letter. he's also concerned about the just-released rule that allows some states to by pass theiral application in the first year. >> the president's decision to use the honor system to hand out subsidies i think exposes taxpayers to massive fraud and abuse. this is our job on behalf of the american people to protect and to spend their tax money wisely. >> boehner is not entirely wrong here, but this is the only

sliver he's got any ground on. the comical remarks is a affordable care act is something that nobody has read. it's been three years now, you would think they would read it by now. more than 50 protesters were killed yesterday. the white house has been very deliberate in not referring to the up rising that ousted former president mohamed morsi so it does not cut off the $1.5 billion in aid. according to politico senator carl levin who heads up the senate services committee would like that money suspended until the army takes action in the right political direction. we're back after the break. >> did anyone tell the pilgrims they should self-deport? >> no, they said "make us a turkey and make it fast".

>> (laughter). >> she gets the comedians laughing. >> that's the best! >> that's hilarious. >> ... and the thinkers thinking. >> okay, so there is wiggle room in the ten commandments is what you're telling me. >> she's joy behar. >> ya, i consider you jew-talian. >> okay, whatever you want. >> who plays kafka? >> who saw kafka? >> who ever saw kafka? >> (laughter). >> asking the tough questions. >> chris brown, i mean you wouldn't let one of your daughters go out with him. >> absolutely not. >> you would rather deal with ahmadinejad then me? >> absolutely! >> (singing) >> i take lipitor, thats it. >> are you improving your lips? >> (laughter). >> when she's talking, you never know where the conversation is going to go. >> it looks like anthony wiener is throwing his hat in the ring. >> his what in the ring? >> his hat. >> always outspoken, joy behar. >> and the best part is that current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking? >> only on current tv.

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that raised the bar for excellence. >> where ever the story is we will go there to get it. >> we dive deep into the topics that we cover. >> it doesn't get anymore real than this. >> and on the next vanguard: as over fishing takes it's toll, these central american divers are relying on an even riskier industry - the white lobster. >> all these boats were being used to transport cocaine. >> if you believe in state's rights but still support the drug war you must be high. >> "viewpoint" digs deep into the issues of the day. >> do you think that there is any chance we'll see this president even say the words "carbon tax"? >> with an open mind... >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> ...and a distinctly satirical point of view. >> but you mentioned "great leadership" so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. >> (laughter). >> watch the show. >> only on current tv.

[ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. six minutes after the hour. pretty girl in studio jim ward will not make sense the entire hour. jen kirkman joins us. >> thank you guys. >> stephanie: you're such a radio geek. you were taking pictures of the radio. >> i took pictures of the buttons. i love radio. i took pictures before it goes away. that's depressing right off the bat. i brought a present. i know you like the boxed one but i wanted to introduce you to a good bottle. >> she brought swag. >> i don't want you to open it

yet. >> we'll hide it in the garbage can. i'll take care of this for you. >> stephanie: thankthank you for your tweet. you tweeted to tune in while you pretended to make since while change the subject to george clooney. >> yes yes. >> stephanie: let's talk about george clooney. >> i have some hot scoops. a week ago i got in a cab in studio city, california, which is the home of george clooney and i found a purse in the backseat. and i opened it. it was a little chanel clutch purse, and inside there was a license that said stacey keibler. they must have broken up because no woman of george clooney would be in a cab. i told everybody, and i called it. >> yes you should work for tmz. >> stephanie: you already knew. >> i don't know what compelled me to open it. you normally say to the cabbie, someone left their purse.

she didn't have her phone in it, she was on the phone crying, let me in, and left her purse. or even if he was in europe, she wouldn't be out with her friends. she would be hope saying i'm george clooney's girlfriend. >> stephanie: what are you doing? >> just thinking how i'm george clooney's girlfriend. >> i'm on a national media blitz saying i called it. i feel like it means that i feel psychic. >> stephanie: you are psyching comedian. >> and people will hire you to do remote viewing. >> stephanie: that's your next book. i saw that coming. i saw that coming. >> that's great, right? >> stephanie: by the way here is the magical one-degree george clooney. i know where he lives because i used to hike up around there. and i used to climb up his fence

to watch him play basketball with all of his friends. >> all of his shirtless friends. >> stephanie: right, and i have the gay on me, but i have a friend who grabbed me my pants and pulled me off the fence. >> you were scared shirtless. >> stephanie: right. so we magically connected through george clooney. and you said you love--you're a radio geek like we are. every story in the history of story of radio take pictures of the meters. the cough button the little red lights. >> stephanie: and then the phone lines that go to the phones. and what are people saying about blah-blah. >> and then the "on air" light. >> it's so exciting. it's like the hollywood sign. i get a thrill when i see it. >> stephanie: you said you would rather be here than talking to local bob. >> i was doing a media thing for my book. after i hung up the phone on the

wonderful stephanie miller, i had to talk to someone somewhere, and i called him wild bob and his sidekick. i wrote about not having kids. so you can't have kids? and i said no, this is a funny book about that. she said, well that seems rude about people who wants kids and can't have them. she said, i have a friend who can't have kids. should i give that to her? i said probably not. >> stephanie: the premise of your book is bull. >> i never have had fertility tests so maybe i'm not. >> stephanie: i can barely take care of myself. the aforementioned book by jen kirkman. >> thank you. >> stephanie: hilarious stuff. jim, who said it's hard to be an adult. you have to dress yourself, pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts drive to annual

physicals, some people take on the added burden of caring for a little person who has no bladder control. who said that? >> ken jerkman. >> stephanie: no, jen kirkman. >> it's a karl rove quote that i lifted. i'm coming clean. that's my political contribution. >> stephanie: i don't think that's true. >> no, it's not true. >> stephanie: it says here in my notes that you're completely happy and fulfilled by your decision not to pro create. >> wow how rude. >> i guess i'm happy. i never thought about it. i never wanted them. >> stephanie: me neither. >> it's a non-urge. oh, people are doing this? >> that's what nephews and nieces are for. >> my nieces and nephews are in their 20s and they don't like

children. we're all in it together. >> stephanie: i was talking to my friend eileen who has two kids, and i realized i never had a conversation with her or if i i would say, bo, stop, it will be longer if you don't leave it alone. >> how is your mom she's dying--can you get your fingers out--she's like, forget it. i nod and smile. >> do not electrocute the dog. >> by the way, are you seeing anyone? i'm so glad we can talk like this. i need an adult relationship. >> stephanie: right, you just wait for it. you just assume this will be part of the conversation, then you think why did they ever think that it would change. the kid clearly did not get it the last time you said not while i'm on the phone. >> oh, no, they don't listen. my friend is taking a parenting

class, and they're taught to think of their kids as scientists so they don't get so uncontrollably angry at them and they don't scream. you just think they're scientists and scientists have to experiment over and over, and that's what they're doing. it calms their blood pressure. i don't want to have to think about all these kinds of things. i don't want to trick myself into not throwing someone against the wall. [ laughing ] >> stephanie: exactly. nicely said. now you've had your essays published i'm told in my lighter notes, and rejected tales of the failed. i could write that essay. >> how many times have you been canceled. >> stephanie: canceled dumped, failed. >> this morning. just kidding. >> stephanie: also bad sex, we did it so you don't have to. you wrote essays for that. >> put your hand back on the table.

>> had a are you talking about? >> stephanie: i think it's different for guys. guys always say, sex is like pizza. >> yeah, it's fine as long as it's good. >> cold in the mornings. >> stephanie: when it's good it's really good. when it's bad, it's still pretty good. it's not the same for women. >> no, when it's bad you might as well be gay. when it's bad its time to be a lesbian. >> stephanie: now you're speaking my language. come on down. i didn't mean it like that. >> no. >> sure you did. >> stephanie: what? >> stephanie: jen, you have been married. >> i have been married yes speaking of failed, dumped and canceled. >> ooh. >> don't be sad. i'm the leaver. people always say, ooh excuse me, i have hair extensions and lost 40 pounds. things are going great. >> congratulations. >> i have been married and i've been unmarried--i think i'm still married acting like i'm

not married for two years. we also didn't want kids as an unit. >> stephanie: people ask that. was it because he wanted kids. >> that's what everybody asks me. no, do you think i would marry someone who wants kids? i'm not that stupid. but i think i was so focused on that i didn't bother to think ask if we had anything else in common. oh, no kids? okay, let's get married. >> stephanie: that's what happens when you're gay. oh, your gay? i know someone who is gay and you would like. my friend who is black say people say i know somebody you would like. what they're black like me? how long were you married? >> we were together five years all in all i gave it six and a half years. >> that's a valiant effort. >> valiant effort of monogamy.

>> why is on the floor in a fetal position. >> exercising some demons there. >> stephanie: hi, jim, okay. okay, it says here you're stand up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids, masturbation and johnny depp. and does the masturbation have to do with johnny depp? >> they do. i have a lit about how women masturbate different than men. i need to have a story to think about. i'm not going to look at a picture and then, blah, be done. i have to have a fantasy. >> stephanie: i have to explain it to you two. >> i have a fantasy that makes sense. every time i have a fantasy i don't have one prepared. it's home work. okay i'm at a bar. i don't have that outfit.

then you fall asleep and you're in a bad mood. >> stephanie: see, i try to explain this to you two. masturbation is more implicated than women. >> you have to think about. >> you have to have a third act. >> i think about johnny depp because i think he's really cute. >> he does these things in entire movies. >> i have to figure out how i met him and he has kids, i don't want kids. >> it's too complicated. >> stephanie: she's a great writer, and it would have to make sense. i said i'm not--a joke is i'm not good at masturbation because i turn myself off. >> you're not supposed to think about yourself. >> my men friends think about megan fox. you're not allowed to have sex with her. >> it's reality, that is not fantasy. >> stephanie: but we can't just

look at something, and go, hot blah. >> exactly. >> then we get back in the car and go to work. >> we have fantasies too they're just much quick. >> cenk: you're right. you need a story. i think it needs to be real. then you said about someone you've been with. no that's too sad. you start crying, and i'm not with them any more. >> exactly. >> and then you need a button. >> and a fantasy would never happen because it's not real enough. >> well, of course-- >> way too complicated. >> it's hard to be a woman. that's why we should run the world, we're not busy masturbating all day. we can't. >> i betcha hillary never has. >> you just gave me an image. >> she was creating pictures of her who ha? >> she wasn't doing it with a turkey. >> no, she was not. a baster or anything else. okay.

[vo] turkey? >> stephanie: 18 minutes after the hour. thank god i have somaster bashan backup in here. >> i know, and ladies love when i talk about that. but it's funny, too, they're always shocked that i'm talking about it. oh, my god. please. but a lot of people come up to me in the bathroom after the show and say, i have the same problem. like it's a yeast infection. i know i told you my bit but don't tell me intimately in the bathroom. >> stephanie: we'll talk more about this on the show, as we continue on "the stephanie miller show."

current tv is the place for true stories. with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines. real, gripping, current. documentaries... on current tv. [ ♪ music ♪ ] [ ♪ music ♪ ]

[vo] stephy. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." welcome to it. comedian jen kirkman live in studio with us. if you just tuned in about masturbation and johnny depp. it's a story about johnny depp. let's see if we can masturbate to it. >> oh. >> now johnny depp wants his tattoos framed when he died. >> what? is wants his skin in a frame? >> stephanie: i don't know. he said, i originally wanted to be tossed over a mountain so people could watch it bounce. i thought that would be funny. >> now i'm back in. >> stephanie: you can masturbate to that. >> as long as he touches like keith richards. >> stephanie: i'm happy to have girl back group in the fort

because you've mocked me about masturbation not being one of my skills. but you're saying that women are too complicated we need something real but not too real or not too fake, and then this is never going to happen. i cat loss those last five pounds. this will never happen to me. >> this is johnny depp, this will never happen. >> he might be old and senile enough. >> stephanie: she's hot and in hollywood. >> i'm hot for ohio, not hollywood. i'm 39. they're going to shoot me out back. >> they shoot horses, don't they. >> stephanie: speaking of hollywood, the other question of the day wtf what is up with amanda bynes.

she tweeted that michelle is uglyugly. >> she used to be so cute. >> what, michelle obama? >> amanda bynes. she is just rude. my feelings are hurt. michelle said, should i write her back? barak said no, you're bigger than this. >> stephanie: there is something going on in egypt. >> she tweeted last night that her nose surgeon broke her nose and has not fixed it yet. >> stephanie: this is a series of tweets. voting to call people ugly. she has targeted courtney love and jay-z. >> there are some that is he might be right.

i think she might have dementia schizophrenia problem. i think they checked her into--not an insane asylum but a mental health place. they said she's fine and let her go. >> she looks crazy. >> stephanie: as long as a cuckoo clock you're fine. >> i like the wig. i like that she's going for a phil spector of her generation. >> stephanie: we were engaging in the dark humor during the commercial break because everyone is talking about this plane crash. as we know it's comedians plus tragedy plus time, you say it's not funny when one person survived the crash but was run over by the emergency vehicle and then people who crashed in

the everglades and then were eaten by the alligators. >> yes i laughed. that >> stephanie: that was ironic. ♪ the plane crashed ♪ and you were eaten ♪ about an alligator ♪ >> it's hard to write songs we couldn't even rhyme crash. >> finding a fantasy that you can masturbateor and then eaten by an alligator. >> isn't moronic. >> stephanie: right: you were mentioning you were divorced. did you see the picture of the celebrity chef.

>> she choked her husband. >> he's now leaving her because she did not defend him. >> that's the same kind of laugh as i survived a plane crash and then an alligator ate me. i was busy recovering from being choked he got to file first. >> stephanie: i couldn't file a response because-- >> who is she again? >> celebrity chef. >> oh, i think everybody has it confused with basketball. >> stephanie: jen kirkman on "the stephanie miller show." [ ♪ music ♪ ] to the fire. are you encouraged by what you heard the president say the other night? is this personal, or is it political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i'm given to doing anyway, by staying in touch with everything that is going on politically and putting

my own nuance on it. in reality it's not like they actually care. this is purely about political grandstanding. i've worn lots of hats, but i've always kept this going. i've been doing politics now for a dozen years. (vo) he's been called the epic politics man. he's michael shure and his arena is the war room. >> these republicans in congress that think the world ends at the atlantic ocean border and pacific ocean border. the bloggers and the people that are sort of compiling the best of the day. i do a lot of looking at those people as well. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people, but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care about them right?

>> did anyone tell the pilgrims they should self-deport? >> no, they said "make us a turkey and make it fast". >> (laughter). >> she gets the comedians laughing. >> that's the best! >> that's hilarious. >> ... and the thinkers thinking. >> okay, so there is wiggle room in the ten commandments is what

you're telling me. >> she's joy behar. >> ya, i consider you jew-talian. >> okay, whatever you want. >> who plays kafka? >> who saw kafka? >> who ever saw kafka? >> (laughter). >> asking the tough questions. >> chris brown, i mean you wouldn't let one of your daughters go out with him. >> absolutely not. >> you would rather deal with ahmadinejad then me? >> absolutely! >> (singing) >> i take lipitor, thats it. >> are you improving your lips? >> (laughter). >> when she's talking, you never know where the conversation is going to go. >> it looks like anthony wiener is throwing his hat in the ring. >> his what in the ring? >> his hat. >> always outspoken, joy behar. >> and the best part is that current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking? >> only on current tv. [ ♪ music ♪ ]

[ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie miller. >> i'm a bad pussycat. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show," jen kirkman, comedian extraordinaire author of the book "i can barely take care of myself"." [ and the sub title. >> tales from a happy life without kids. >> stephanie: you have a grip on it. why are we talking about captain crunch? >> i said because the navy came out and said he's not really a captain. i hate to get so political. i know i'm dividing my fans left and right while they're listening, but then he's--he can be called a captain. >> stephanie: first of all he's fictional. >> the captain or the skipper of a ship.

[ magic wand music ] >> stephanie: he only exists on a cereal box. >> he's a captain. >> you'll boy caught boycott it because of the grammar. >> what about boston, is he going to disrespect them like that? >> this food is retarded. >> stephanie: the point of all this is jay-z has revealed the secret. he likes captain crunch but only with crunch berryies. >> who doesn't. >> do they make that any more? >> absolutely. >> stephanie: our regrets to franken berry. >> and she had choc. berries. >> what was the cereal with the freeze dried strawberries, they were pink and dead. >> when they tried to make it less fat. [ laughing ]

in five ortricks for kids. >> is count dracula for kids. >> he was the first vampire it's a huge trend and now his cereal is out of business. >> stephanie: right, damn you twilighters. art dealer celebrity chef, magello was an. he's divorcing her because he would not defend him from pictures of him choking her. she did not publicly defend his reputation after images of him grasping her throat, as you do. >> you're my wife. that's what you're supposed to do make up your mind. >> that's the vow, death to us part. they did not say chokehold do us part. you blanket promise to be with them. >> stephanie: i hope she gets

the diamond choker-- >> o really? too soon. >> well, he's an art collector he's probably loaded. >> well, satchi. >> stephanie: he describes it as a playfultive during an intense debate about the couple's children. it's a punctuation. >> i need to get my hands on you really quick while we're discussing whether timmy should go to public or private school. what i'm being playful. let me play with that line of between life and death. >> stephanie: he was given police caution after admitting assault. he told britain's mail that he was sorry to announce that he was divorcing, they had become estranged and drifted apart over the past year. >> over the choking incident.

>> maybe that's why he choked her. he was trying to win her back. instead of-- >> instead of grabbing her wrist, he grabbed her neck. >> stephanie: i know i've been a disappointment during the last year or so. and i'm disappointed that she was advised to make no public comment that abhor violence of any kind against women and never would have abused her in any way. >> except for she was asking for it. >> i hate violence unless-- >> it's asked for it. >> stephanie: he's disappointed that she did not speak up. [ talking while choking ] what did you say, put the candle back? >> he's going to find someone sooner than her. that's just how crazy things are. there are women lined up. oh, my god satchi is single now. he'll never choke me. >> listen to me very carefully.

put the candle back. >> you're going to hell. >> i mean, you really are. >> stephanie: satchi suggested that she had grabbed his neck with passion in the past. maybe that's how they say hello. >> wait a minute. you didn't tell me that she choked him first. >> stephanie: she was not made aware of the divorce move, and she learned about it in the paper. >> ooh. >> that's the worse. you don't want to find out someone is cheating or. >> or you gained weight. >> stephanie: we were just looking at a photo montage. >> and you're wrong you're not just ohio pretty. >> thanks, guys: into when people say you're pretty for radio. >> you need a bar for that? >> stephanie: here's the bar.

>> exactly. >> stephanie: i hate to do more stories of domestic discourse. [ nightly news music ] just because we're both unmarried and childless. the police were called to a home afterafter a woman called during a violent altercation. it took police a mere minutes to arrive at the argument complex and just a few seconds to determine there was no domestic violence. her boyfriend continued to pass gas, and she was yelling to stop. [ farting sounds ] >> no one is farther farting in my bed. [ farting sounds ] >> is that something that your brother did to you? >> all these couples act like farting is secret intimacy.

but it's really a way to say i hate you. they say no, we're just comfortable in front of each other. >> look at this dooky i left in the toilet. >> i do picture him doing that. after a run and see if there is a war. >> stephanie: all right. let's take it--sue. >> the weapon of mass destruction in the toilet. [ farting sounds ] >> stephanie: hey there, sue. >> caller: first of all jen you are so funny. i was not aware of you but i'm going to be following you. >> how closely. should i be nervous. >> caller: yes, i live 3,000 miles away. >> okay. >> caller: did you call me a trollup.

well it takes one to know one. just going back to the questions that you and jacki were having the conversation how smart do we need to be to fight the koch brothers? we need to point out that every member of congress gets a very generous insurance paid for by the federal government. the feds pay 72% of all their benefits including federal flexible spending accounts, which are tax exempt. they get reimbursed for healthcare, child care they're unbelieveably--when we need to envision dental plans to someone who gets nothing. any time any one of them has something bad to say about the affordable care act. >> we should cut them off. >> caller: just say, did you give up your benefits. if not you're a hypocrite and shut up. >> stephanie: all right, oh dear.

what is the deal with child tax credits. shouldn't we get childless tack contracts. >> i'm paying for everybody's child to go to school while i'm being told i'm awful. what kind of world is this? >> stephanie: i'm gay, and i feel like i need to stick up with the suppressed minority. >> i'm the new minority. i would like a tax break. maybe i should start a corporation. >> childless and losers.com. >> stephanie: i admit i'm a little bitter even though i'm a liberal, i'm paying for what now? >> how am i benefiting from this. >> stephanie: by the way we were talking about radio crazies earlier, and glenn beck said what? >> she's faking it because she has lied before. she's in the hospital, you see. >> she had a seizure.

>> stephanie: she was--i think she was upgraded from fair to criticalto fair fromcritical. >> can't they do anything original? they said hillary was faking it too. >> when she had that-- >> marriage to bill clinton? >> no, the other tragedy. [ buzzer ] [ laughing ] >> stephanie: she passed out. right, right from--from her husband. allegedly. you don't pass out that information after 20 years. >> it's like that thing future shock. she had past shock. it just caught up to her and she smelled the vapors. was that the right use? >> stephanie: it was not the vapors. jen kirkman is highly inappropriate. we could not love her more. 45 minutes after the hour.

>> god, what did you have for breakfast this morning. coronationcarnation instant pitch. >> it's "the stephanie miller show."

[ ♪ music ♪ ] [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie miller. [ ♪ music ♪ ] >> stephanie: this hour is "the stephanie miller show" brought to you by carbonite. here is a little known fact you she had know. carbonite has restored 20 billion computer files that might have been lost forever. that's why we use carbonite to back up our computer files. i'm writing a book, not like jen

kirkman. she has a book. i'm still working on it. if my computer went kabluey there it is. everything that i have on that chardonnay cocktail napkin. i do it at home. you have the stuff you're working on creatively. documents, financial music, it backs it up in the cloud so you don't have to. just $59.99 for the year. that's per year. >> that is a bargain. >> stephanie: right, and they have business plans for your small business like we have here. do it now. >> do it now. >> stephanie: type in my offer code for a free trial plus two free bonus months. that's www.www.carbonite.com www.www.carbonite.com,andthe pr www.www.carbonite.com,andthepr omotioncodeisstephanie. you'rewww.www.carbonite.com,.

>> and the book is hilarious. i'm halfway through it. it's called "i can barely take care of myself." >> writing a book is tough. it's a lonely experience. this is awful. who wants to read this. maybe someone who lays in bed all day. >> stephanie: you scrawl on the chardonnay napkin, and it seems funny but in the morning. >> that's why you have to stay drunk the whole time so you get through it and think its genius. >> stephanie: let's see. who is this. melanie writes instead of, i got to get jen's book. the highest form i can take care of is feline. you can take care of dogs, they're as needy of pets. >> people assume, i have pets. if i don't want children, people ask do you have pets?

that's the same thing. i don't want anything that is peeing puking transplants whatever they need. >> stephanie: pets do not need a mouth transplant. you've been misinformed. >> clipping their nails and putting them in a cage--now i'm talking about kids. it sounds awful but i do resent that people assume that lonely women have cats. well cats are independent. lonely women have dogs. they need you. they're always licking your face. cats don't do that. i want to flip the conversation to why don't we say lonely dog women instead of lonely cat women. cat women will be angry with me for that one. i'm not lonely. >> stephanie: you're dead on. i tend to rescue dogs. and you tend to think that they're moonies and go home.

>> yes i pretend i never saw them. i don't open the door for anybody. i don't even check my mail. i'm the crazy old lady on the street that gives you an apple for halloween. >> with a razor blade in it or lsd. >> stephanie: okay, i don't know why we wandered into dark territory this morning. this is not funny. let me start by saying that. >> okay, i'll put my hand over my mouth. >> stephanie: the difference between men and women. drunk man electrocuteed while peeing on the subway. >> ouch. >> we don't want to squat. it would run down our leg. that would scare me more than being electrocuted. i red that. this is a 30-year-old guy coming home from a bar. >> easy to do.

>> stephanie: and his drunk friends tryied to help them, and they almost got electrocuted. >> you read the big news stories. >> i love that. >> that is one less available man in new york city, too. for all those single ladies out there. ♪ all the single ladies" >> you got to get them before they hit the third rail. if they're out on the third rail, that's your opportunity. >> stephanie: before they side it's a good idea to pee on the third rail. >> i thought it was the second rail. >> caller: good morning. >> stephanie: it is literally the third rail. >> caller: good morning. >> stephanie: hi dana. >> caller: it's hard to stay on top. you guys are hilarious. the whole masturbation thing. how do i get off that. >> the point is getting off. >> stephanie: the whole point is getting off. >> caller: jen, i bought your book for several of my friends. i love it. >> oh, my god i'm going to buy

you dinner. >> caller: if you don't want kids who cares. >> stephanie: by the way, a lot of people must be buying the book because jen kirkman brought me very good wine, ladies and gentlemen. >> caller: my son loves that you wrote about phinehas and ferb. i want to talk about the midterm elections and how we need to get out there because you douchey scott walker from wisconsin. and they would also have to look at the fetus. these guys got in when we got lazy in 2010, and we can't do that again. you know, just everybody has got to go out and vote because the state stuff is putting women back to leave it to beaver. >> stephanie: yes, well, and the

transvaginal probes. >> leave my beaver alone. that's what i'm working about. >> stephanie: i sense that is not true, jen kirkman. >> the original title is "probe this." >> stephanie: right, a good update based on what all the republican governs are doing. it's scary the stuff that they're sneaking in, so to speak, laws, not the probes. >> yes it really, for someone like me who just wants to make sure i just stay just me, i want every opportunity i can to not--it's also horrible. >> stephanie: the childless edgeschildlessness,and then being eaten by the alligators, and then. >> there was a baby in one hand and a crock in the other bloody

hell. >> and like michael jackson hinging his kid over the rail. both fathers did not survive, i don't know what that means. >> stephanie: in his defense i think the kid was trying to jump and he was trying to save him. i'm just saying if michael jackson was your dad i'm just saying it might have been a little trying growing up. >> michael jackson's doctor was a stingray. >> stephanie: wow, this is weird. let's go back in time. [ magical wand music ] jen, anything the he edward snowden thing and the nsa. >> i love a whistle blower. it just makes me so crazy that somebody gets in trouble for telling the truth on the people who were doing the terrible thing. when obama was elected he didn't reverse those parts of the constitution that dick cheney dismantleed.

i wonder if he'll be using the same program. people would say how tear you say that about the savior. i'm just saying, i think every president will be doing it. i would like my parade from my democratic but not liberal friends. >> you're right, jen kirkman. >> that's my favorite sentence. >> stephanie: jen kirkman wants a parade. let's get her a parade. [ parade music ] >> stephanie: you deserve a parade. >> yes. >> stephanie: jen kirkman the book is "i can barely take care of myself." the woman is hilarious. now you need to come back. >> i will, i love you guys. i won't leave. i'll just stay here. >> stephanie: terrific. enjoy the next show. we'll see you tomorrow on "the stephanie miller show."